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Leo and Raph were going at each other's throats again and Donnie has had enough
It has been like this every since thier dad made Leo thier leader
All Donnie and Mikey have known for the past month has been yelling and arguing from thier older brothers and Donnie was sick of it
Donnie didn't do well with lots of yelling as loud noises always made him uncomfortable. Especially loud noises that he had no control over
Donnie was just very fortunate that he made his goggles with a noise canceling feature as he didn't know how much longer he could take the arguing without it
What surprised Donnie was just how obviolous everyone else was being to the situation
Of course Leo and Raph were too wrapped up in their own heads to even think and talk straight. Those two have always clashed since they were younger but it seemed like thier differnt personalities have reached a breaking point. And the fact that Raph's leadership position, which he held for the past two years, was pulled out from under him and then passed on to his younger brother without much of an explanation why was differently frustating, to say the least
It didn't helped the fact that Leo was not taken his new role very seriously. Some part of Donnie really wished that their dad didn't make Leo leader. It was clear that the dynamic had shifted, and not for the better. No one wanted Leo to be leader, not even Leo himself
Why did thier dad think this was a good idea?
Speaking of Splinter, Donnie has seen little of the rat since he made that big decision. Donnie could tell that thier dad was trying to spend more time with them and while Donnie was happy about that, he was not all that happy with his dad. Some part of him even resented Splinter. What right did he had to change thier wonderful team dynamic that they had for the past few years? He was never really there for them. He haven't seen them work together, so why did he have to go and change that?
Why did he have to go and not only change their team dynamic, but also their brotherly dynamic as well?
Now, Donnie would never blame Splinter for making the brohters fight, no that was all on Raph and Leo. But Donnie couldn't help but feel like Splinter was somewhat responsible for the constant arguing and yelling
What infruiated Donnie the most was that Splinter did little to none to even tried to break up Raph and Leo, or at the very least tried to make them see reason. It was his job as their father and sensei to guide them. Why wasn't he doing that? Why was it up to Donnie and Mikey to break up the arguments between thier older brothers?
Speaking of Mikey, Donnie realized that he haven't seen much of his little brother as of late
Whenever Raph and Leo first started fighting, Mikey would always come to Donnie. Most times, Mikey would come into Donnie's lab and sit in his little beanbag that Donnie had set up for him in the corner of his lab and work on some art. Donnie didn't mind it as Mikey was usually quiet. Plus, Donnie really like having some company and he could never say no to his baby brother. Donnie would even let Mikey help him with some of his inventions, and Donnie was surprised that Mikey turned out to be a great helper
Overtime, Donnie and Mikey started spending more and more time together. It was something that Donnie looked forward to almost every day, since Raph and Leo were pretty much going at it everyday
Now that Donnie was thinking about it, it seemed like Mikey would come into the lab only when Raph and Leo were fighting. What started out as Mikey coming into the lab maybe two times a week, turned into almost every day. Donnie didn't really think it about it much at first. But as the weeks went by and the arguing and yelling just got worst, Donnie started to notice the pattern and it was becoming a bit unsettling
Now don't get Donnie wrong. He loved having his little brother in the lab with him. But, it seemed like something was alway wrong with his little brother whenever he did make his appearance.
Donnie wasn't usually good at reading other people's emotions, but it wasn't hard to miss the sad, sulken eyes that Mikey had as soon as he stepped into the lab. How his demanor would change the second that he saw Donnie. How sometimes whenever they were working together, Mikey would cling onto Donnie's arm or lean into his side, burying his face into Donnie's side, as a way to hide himself
Thank gosh that Donnie had the lab soundproof from the rest of the lair becuase Donnie wasn't sure how he would be able to handle all of the arguing and yelling. He knew that it was tearing up Mikey inside as well.
As the so-called 'family therapist', Mikey felt like it was his job to keep his family together. He was the most emotionally mature out of all of them and if he couldn't stop his brothers from getting along, then who would?
Donnie knew how much this was hurting Mikey but he didn't really know how to help his little brother. The only thing that Donnie could do was to just be there whenever Mikey needed him. Mikey never really talked about his feelings, which Donnie knew was not a good thing. He knew from personal experience that it wasn't good to bottle up feelings. However, Donnie didn't want to pressure Mikey into talking about something that he didn't want to talk about. He could, no, never would do that to his baby brother. Whenever Mikey was ready to talk, Donnie would be there for him, despite not being good at talking about feelings
Donnie also noticed how Mikey started wearing his orange hoodie around the house more. Raph and Leo also noticed and they asked Mikey about it, to which he said that he was just cold and that was the end of it. However, Donnie was no fool. It was summer time and it always got hot in the lair during this time. Why would Mikey be wearing a hoodie in the middle of summer?
Donnie's mind began to wander at all of the implications, none of which he liked. He thought about asking Mikey about it but decided against it. Mikey, as of late, had not been visiting as much and would most of his day in his room, only coming out to eat and go on missions. The brothers never did anything fun as much anymore as Raph and Leo would argue over the most simple of things and they couldn't enjoy themselves, choosing to spend time apart rather then together
About a month and a half into Raph and Leo's constant arguing and yelling and Donnie had reached his breaking point.
It started off as a simple night
Donnie was working late in his lab and realized that he was running low on coffee. As much as Donnie didn't want to leave his lab, he knew that he couldn't last much longer if he didn't have his coffee
Donnie got up from his chair, popping a few bones in the process, grabbed his coffee mug, and made his way out of the lab
As Donnie made his way to the kitchen, he could distantly hear voices. Donnie sighed when he realized that it was Raph and Leo who were talking. Well, more like yelling. Donnie couldn't really hear what the conversation was about but it sounded like a pretty heated one. Probably about what happened on the mission earlier today, which ended with Mikey coming out with a few minor injuries, nothing that a few bandaids and some pain medication couldn't fix
Maybe they were arguing about Mikey? Gosh Donnie hope not as those types were some of the worst
Deciding that it wasn't worth getting in the middle of thier argument, Donnie made his way back to the lab. Maybe this was a sign that he needed to stop working and turn in early?
Donnie passed by Mikey's room, but stopped when he thought he heard small noises coming from Mikey's room. Donnie leaned closer to Mikey's door and heard with sounded like sniffles and soft crying.
Donnie's heart immediatly sank when he heard those heartbreaking sounds coming from his baby brother. Donnie inwardly took a deep breath before quietly opening up Mikey's door
He looked around the room to see that it was an absoute mess. Artwork was littered everywhere, with the trash can being full of rejected art
Donnie tried to not think of the implications of that as he pushed himself furthur into the room.
He spotted the box turtle on the bed, hiding out in his shell, which he only did when he was scared or upset
Donnie made his way over to the bed and sat down beside his brother. "Mikey?" Donnie called out quitely.
The only response Donnie got was a slight sniffle. "You ok there little brother?" No response
Donnie sighed as he picked up Mikey's shell and brought it close to his chest. "It's ok to be upset Mikey. Just know that I am here when you are ready to talk"
Donnie then started lightly tapping on Mikey's shell, knowing that his little brother liked that. Donnie was hoping that by staying with Mikey, it would let Mikey know that Donnie wasn't going to leave Mikey
Mikey made a small noise, that sounded close to a chirp. Donnie realized that he was getting somewhere and continued to tap on his brother's shell, picking up a steady beat
Before long, Mikey slowly popped his head out of his shell. Donnie looked down to see his brother's tear-stained face and puffy eyes. Donnie's heart ache for his little brother
"There he is. There is my baby brother" Donnie said in a soft voice, as he cupped Mikey's cheek, wiping away some of his tears. Mikey sniffled as more tears felled and the rest of his body came out of his shell
Donnie was relived to see Mikey come out of his shell, but the relief was short lived as he glanced down at Mikey's arms
Red scars lined his arm with one particular scar near his right wrist looking fresh
Donnie let out a gasp as he gently grabbed onto Mikey's wrist, trying to be mindful of the new scar. Surprisingly, Mikey didn't put up much of a fight, which Donnie wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not
Donnie probably spent a solid minute staring at Mikey's arms. Mikey's arms shouldn't be looking like that. His baby brother's arms should not be looking like that
Something unsettling form in the pit of Donnie's stomach. It seemed as his suscipions were correct
For once, Donnie hated being right
"How long have you been doing this Angleo?" Donnie asked his brother, worry and concern evident in his tone
Mikey looked down and stared at where Donnie's hands were holding onto his wrists. "A month" Mikey whispered. "A MONTH!?!" Donnie yelled, which caused Mikey to flinch
"Sorry" Donnie apologized before composing himself. "Why?" was Donnie's next question
Mikey looked like he didn't want to answer and Donnie hated for putting his little brother on the spot like that
Before Donnie could take back his question, Mikey spoke. "Ever since we defeated the Shredder and Raph and Leo started arguing"
Donnie then pointed to the new scar. "How old is that one? It's looks fresh" "I actually did this one right before you came in. I could only go but so far before it came too much and I hid in my shell"
Donnie nodded in understanding. He mentally prepared himself for Mikey's response to his next question. "Do you know why you decided to cut yourself today?". Mikey just stared at Donnie's eyes for a brief moment. All he saw was love and understanding. It almsot made Mikey break down in tears again
"Well I walked into the kitchen and I heard Raph and Leo arguing about...well me. They were yelling at each other about how bad the mission went, which caused my injuries. Raph was, of course, blaming Leo and Leo was just not listening to him, saying that me getting hurt was somehow Raph's fault. I...I couldnt' take it anymore and I ran away to my room. I don't think they saw me though"
Donnie felt a surge of anger and protectivness bubble up inside of him. The anger was not only directed at Raph, Leo, and his dad. But also at himself. Why didn't he do something about this sooner? He knew that Mikey must have been hurting. He knew that Mikey wouldn't come to him. He was Mikey's big brother too. He should have been there for Mikey too
The thought made Donnie feel all guilty inside. "Sorry that I wasn't there for you Angelo. I'm sorry that I can't protect you from what is going on in our home. I'm sorry that I can't take this pain away from you"
Mikey was surprised by Donnie's heartfelt apologies. Donnie should not be blaming himself for this. None of this was his fault
Mikey reached out and placed his hand on top of Donnie's. "Dee none of this is your fault. You have done so much for me these past couple of months. You have been there for me when no one else has. Sure I should have told you about...this" he said gesturing to his arms "but that was my mistake, not yours. I don't want you to feel guilty for any of this, ok? You have been the best big brother ever these past couple of days"
Mikey then, without warning, threw his arms around Donnie. "Thanks for everything Dee. I love you". Donnie took a minute to process Mikey's words before his eyes began to water. He threw his arms around his little brother and held him close, burying his face into Mikey's shoulder. "I love you too Michael". Mikey smiled warmly in return as he settled in the warmth of his immediate older brother
At one point, Raph and Leo's argument seemed to have gotten worst as the two of them were yelling really close to Mikey's room. Mikey flinched and tried to hide his face in Donnie's plastron. Donnie just held him as close as he could and rubbed his shell. "Shh it's ok Mikey. It's just Raph and Leo arguing. I won't let them near you. You are safe with me"
Mikey just hummed as he tried to drown out the argument going off outside.
Donnie looked towards the doorway and was internally cursing at his other brothers for what they were indirectly doing to their baby brother. It wasn't fair. Donnie and Mikey shouldn't have to suffer just becuase their older brothers want to go at each other's throats
Donnie looked down to see that Mikey was half asleep. Donnie smiled fondly at his little brother. Maybe all Mikey needed was a distraction
"Do you want to go to my lab and work on some of your art?". To Donnie's surprise, Mikey shook his head. "No. I think I just want to go to sleep now". Donnie could respect that as he was also tired.
The two of them pulled away from their hug. "Ok Mikey. I'll let you get some sleep. Make sure you clean that cut before you do though". However, before Donnie could move towards the door, he felt a slight pressure on his wrist. He looked down to see Mikey looking up at him with his pleading 'little brother' eyes. "I...I don't want to be alone right now. Could...could you stay with me tonight Donnie? Please?"
Donnie could never say no to his baby brother
"Ok Angelo. I'll stay. Wait right here though. I have to go get some things"
Mikey, hesistantly, let go of Donnie's wrist and watch him leave the room, though Donnie cast a reassuring smile on his way out
Thankfully, Donnie shut the door on his way out, so the argument was slightly muffled, though Mikey could still hear Raph and Leo yelling
Mikey felt tears come into his eyes again as the argument that he walked into earlier popped into his brain. He hated it when his big brothers fight. It was almost every day now and he was tired of it. He was tired of playing the family therapist. He was tired of trying to keep his family together
Mikey. Was. Just. So. Freaking. Tired
Mikey knew that Donnie was too as he could distantly hear Donnie's voice. It sounded like he was yelling. Probably at Raph and Leo to stop their argument and to shut up. Mikey hated that Donnie had to put up with this too. He knew that his genius brother didn't do too well with emotions and he knew how much this argument was affecting him. He couldn't really get Donnie to talk about it but he didn't really need too. Mikey could always read his brothers well and he knew exactly how Donnie felt about this. About the same as Mikey, but with more anger and hostility
After hearing Donnie yell, Mikey realized that the voices had become more quiet
Mikey could hear Donnie's voice from right outside of his door. "No I don't it is a good idea for you two to see him right now. You can apologize in the morning. Right now he needs his rest"
Donnie emerged into the room seconds later, with a first-aid kit and some blankets in his hand, along with a small orange box, that had Mikey ceratinely intrigued
"Were you talking to Leo and Raph?" Mikey asked. Donnie sighed. "More like yelling, yes" he stated bluntly. Mikey looked down, feeling guility. "You shouldn't have to stand up for me Donnie". Mikey felt a hand come underneath his chin and he was meet with loving, caring eyes that don't normally belong on Donnie's face. "Mikey I wanted to stand up for you. You are my little brother. I will always look after you and protect you. Even if it means protecting you from our other brothers"
Mikey didn't like the implication but appreaciated the sentiment, nonetheless. "Thanks Donnie. Have I ever told you how much I love you?" "Several times actually" Donnie replied in his normal dry voice, which got a small laugh and a light shove from his little brother.
Donnie was more then happy to bring the smile back to his little brother's face
Donnie brought out the first aid kit and started to clean up Mikey's scars, while Mikey watch him work. The duo were silent for a moment before Donnie spoke up
"Angelo?"
"Hmmm?"
Donnie looked up at his little brother. His darling Angelo. His sweet, innocent baby brother who was hurting. The one person who had always been there for Donnie. The only person who he showed open affection to. The peanut butter to his jelly. The one who he could never imagine his life without.
"I want you to promise me that you will never hurt yourself again. That you will come to me whenever you think about hurting yourself"
Mikey didn't answer at first and it hurt to see that Mikey would even think about hurting himself again. That he didn't trust Donnie enough to come to him when he was hurting
Donnie grabbed Mikey's hands and squeezed them. "Please Mikey. Promise me? I...I don't want to lose you"
Hearing the rare desperation in Donnie's voice and seeing unshead tears in his eyes was enough for Mikey. He squeezed Donnie's hands back. "Ok Don. I promise"
Donnie felt relief wash over him as he lunged forward to hug Mikey, wanting to hold his little brother forever and never let go. Mikey returned the hug and nuzzled his face on Donnie's shoulder. Mikey gave a satisfying 'chirp', to which Donnie responded back with one of his own
The two boys broke away and Mikey eyed the orange box that was sitting on the edge of the bed. "What's in the box?" Mikey asked. Donnie smiled as he wordlessly handed the box to Mikey. Mikey looked up at Donnie with a questioning look in his eyes. Donnie fondly chuckled as he gestured for Mikey to open it
Mikey lifted the box off the top and was taken aback by the headphones sitting in the box. "Headphones?" Mikey asked, slightly confused. "Not just any headphones my sweet Angelo. Put them on"
Mikey did as he was told and was surprised to hear, no rather not hear, anything. Any noise was completely cancelled out. Mikey turned to see that Donnie's lips were moving but no sound came out.
Mikey's eyes lighted up at the fact that Donnie made him noise-calling headphones, just like his own. Only Mikey's were orange
Mikey then watched Donnie mess with some buttons on the side. When Donnie returned to his previous position, he started talking again, and this time, Mikey could hear him. "I pressed a button that allows for one-on-one communication between your headphones and mine. This way we can communicate with each other and other noise can be blocked out. There are so many settings on this thing. I made sure to have every setting that I could..."
Donnie continued to ramble on about the headphones but Mikey just tuned him out, staring down at the headphones in awe. Donnie had truly be looking after him this whole time. Donnie knew what pain he was going through and acted accordingly using the one thing that Donnie knew best, making tech.
The thought was so sweet and loving that it made Mikey teared up and for Donnie to stop rambling. "Angelo what's wrong? Do you not like them? Oh Newton's apple I'm so sorry Mikey. I thought that this would help so that you wouldn't have as many anxiety attacks and that you would stop hurting yourself..."
Donnie was cut off by Mikey leaping into his arms. "I love them Donnie. This is the best gift ever. Thank you thank you a hundered times. Thank you for understanding me and for helping me. I truly appreciate you Donnie. I love you so much"
Donnie finally let his tears flow as he hugged his baby brother for the third time that night. "You're welcome Mikey. And thank you for being there for me too. I love you too little brother" he said, as he planted a kiss on the top of Mikey's forehead
With blankets surrounding them and being curled around each other, the two youngest brothers were able to sleep peacefully that night, knowing that thing were going to be ok, knowing that they were not alone in thier suffering and pain. They had each other and that was all that mattered more to them then anything else in the world.