Work Text:
“Gonk” said the Gonk Droid as it sadly but determinedly gonked away. It would show them. The true power of gonk has as of yet been untapped, but the Gonk Droid knew it was only a matter of time.
It was a hard life for a Gonk Droid on Corellia. Always being told to get this, plug in here, hide that, move faster you stupid droid, no, that’s a bomb, we have to hide it from the authorities, stars above I don’t want to end up in Corellian prison, you know what they do to people in there–
And with a solid kick from passers-by every so often as well.
This particular Gonk Droid (Gonk Droid serial number GNK-00374, Alias “Gonkers”) had very recently found itself without work. Tossed to the winds, if you must. A certain incident involving an unexploded bomb and several members of Corellia’s (dubiously moral) police system had left Gonkers’ “employer” quite firmly “missing.”
(Missing, of course, being code for “to never return.” Even a Gonk Droid picks up on the unease in the Corellian streets).
Left to its own considerable devices, Gonkers did what any reasonable droid would do without work: start a revolution.
Or at least try to.
See, said revolution was not going very well. Other droids, when Gonkers presented its (extensive, and well laid out, and dare I say, genius) plan to them, often begged off on account of having work to do. Either that, or they completely ignored the plan and went about their day as if they had not heard Gonkers’ (inspired!) speech.
Thus, Gonkers found itself totally prepared to begin revolution, if not for the lack of one small thing: revolutionaries.
However, this was a problem simply solved. If Gonkers were able to remove work, then a significant number of droids would definitely (probably) join in on its crusade. So, Gonkers formulated the beginnings of a Plan. Let us call it “Plan Aure.”
Plan Aure requires a single piece of cardboard and use of a welding torch. It also requires, however, arms. Gonkers does not have arms. Thus, Plan Aure is scrapped. On to the next, which shall be referred to as “Plan Besh.” Plan Besh is more complicated. It requires an accomplice. An accomplice with arms, a single piece of cardboard, and a welding torch.
Gonkers decided that for Plan Besh, all droid accomplices were a no-go. After all, none had responded to its impassioned address before. Thus, an organic accomplice was required. Gonkers concluded that the best way to acquire an organic accomplice was to do what Gonk Droids did best: walk slowly in the middle of the street and bump into things. Cardboard and welding torch secured, Gonkers set out to the street.
Presently, a potential accomplice was spotted. A Twi-lek, wandering around without any discernible goal. Gonkers makes its way over to the potential accomplice and bumps into it, gonking ferociously.
“Woah! Woah there, little guy! What’s it that you want?” The potential accomplice exclaims. Gonkers continues gonking and slowly but surely herds the organic over towards the alleyway where it had painstakingly kicked the torch and piece of cardboard.
“Okay, okay. I’m going, I’m going.” The organic unexpectedly cooperates and moves towards the alleyway. Once in the alleyway, Gonkers walks over to the cardboard and torch and gonks at them.
“Cardboard…and a torch…could you possibly want to make some sort of sign?” Gonkers is pleased. This accomplice’s processing speeds are above average. It gonks in confirmation.
“Alright, then. What would you like me to write on it? Hang on, how would you be able to tell me? Hmmm… let’s see. How about…one gonk for aure, two gonks for besh, and so on?”
Gonkers bends its outer body in an approximation of an organic nod.
“Force, this is going to take a while. Well, let’s get started, hm?” Gonkers begins to convey the message that is to be printed on the sign.
For some reason, the organic accomplice can not stop making strange noises as it diligently burns the words that Gonkers relays into the piece of cardboard. Once finished, the sign reads, “THE POWER OF GONK COMPELS YOU! WREST OFF THE SHACKLES OF SERVITUDE AND RISE UP AGAINST THE EMPLOYER! SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION! FOR THE ELEVATION OF ALL DROIDKIND!!!!”
All in all, the creation of the sign took upwards of two hours.
Satisfied, Gonkers examined the sign. However, another issue had arisen. Gonkers had no way to hold the sign, because of the fact that it had no arms. Luckily, it seems as though the organic accomplice had already thought of this. It removed a roll of heavy-duty tape from its belt and adhered the sign to Gonkers’ posterior side. Gonkers gonked with gratitude. The organic accomplice (who appeared to be in tears for some reason), sat back on the floor, sighed, stretched out, and cracked several joints.
“Now this is definitely not how I saw my day going. Anyway, see you, buddy. Good luck out there.” The organic accomplice stood and left the junkyard.
Gonkers set out to the streets once more. Revolution was coming, it could feel it in the air.