Chapter Text
Mile takes in the stunning views of the ocean. One of the destinations he highlighted in his personal journal was Capri, Italy. Location he had been to or wished to go to. The difficult truth that he lost something within himself, the struggle he made to remember. He is now sitting by himself in the pristine sand. In his perspective, humans walking with their significant others, families, or friends and wearing smiles is merely a blur timelapse. In honesty, he is thrilled to have landed on this location, however there is a void. Since he awakened from the coma, the void in his heart has consumed him. Even his own family was unable to fill his melancholy. It didn't feel right for him at this time to hear the whoosh of the sea hitting the sand.
"Phi," Mile turns to see the attractive young woman who has been at his side along his recovery. Mile should frankly accept the woman who is two years younger than him since she has made her interest in him known. The only thing that appears to stop him is his heart. Guilt. What an odd emotion. The young lady brought him coffee she had purchased from one of the stalls, and he smiled widely at her. His hand, which had been chilled for some time, was warm by the hot coffee cup.
The younger woman replaces Mile's cane and sits next to the older one within place of that lifeless thing. Mile arched a thick brow as he sipped the coffee. "Good?" the younger one glanced. Mile smiled, but he was aware that it did not reach his eyes.
“It's good. Sol, I know I can count on you with a drink," the woman chuckled. In an attempt to warm her hand, she holds the cups between her gorgeously manicured fingers. Mile turned away to look at the ocean. A sensation of sorrow overcame him. He feels like he needs to beg for air to keep alive, and his heart is aching without understanding why.
After the fateful night of the accident, he was unconscious for half of the year. According to his cousins, he lost too much blood and his beloved car was nearly totaled. They don't let him see the photo out of concern that it would cause unwelcome trauma. When he opened his eyes, everyone was relieved, but the calmness was short lived. When he explained the loss of feeling in his lower body, it was terrible. It took him an additional year and a half of physical therapy to learn how to stand up and walk using his own leg. On top of this, Mile had no memory of the three years before the catastrophe. His memories seemed to have been completely erased; there were no glimmers or flashes. Like he never actually experienced those years.
Through it all, Sol was by his side. She is the close buddy of his cousin. She simply happened to be present while everyone else was agitated and perplexed. They informed him that she was the one who comforted his distraught mother and helped her get through a difficult time following the fear of losing her youngest son. Although he was touched by the act, Mile drew a line when she confessed, refusing to let his heart fully open just yet. Not when he suffered too much loss as a result of that awful accident.
“Sunset. P'Mile look," she said, cutting off his thoughts completely. The blue sky has become orange as he gazes at it. His face is blessed by the sun's rays. His breath constantly seems to catch when he sees the beach or a sunset. Something was stirred, and while it aches now, the original sensation would be almost pleasant. He was puzzled.
“It's nice. Should snap some photos for Mae," Mile muttered, pulling out his phone. He took a few photos and then placed his phone on his lap. He observes the stunning sunset, which is on par with the island. The fact that his family gave him some chance to relax and travel with Sol was a blessing. It never occurred to him that they would agree, but Sol offered to go with him. Since Mile required health care, they immediately said, "Okay." Her nursing background makes it the ideal situation for him.
They have visited five different countries that Mile’s listed in his journal and from his mother's past instagram post. In his head, he wants to discover who he is; perhaps his forgotten memories hold the answer to these emotions. He needs to locate the missing parts, but nothing has worked up to this point. Contrastingly, Capri has a peculiar, almost intimate vibe. He is about to shoo Sol back to the hotel and allow him to explore this place on his own. He couldn't do it because of his leg.
The sunset quickly faded away. He was mocked for how quickly the beauty faded and how the darkness embraced him more. Mile sighed; he knew Sol was speaking to something she had discovered on the island and had wanted to go on a trip with that day.He struggled to give his attention to his new acquaintance. His thoughts were racing to the unseen forces acting in his heart, which were causing a soothing effect.
“It is already dark. Let's leave," she said, clearly understanding Mile had been indifferent. Mile feels terrible.
Sol assisted Mile to stand up on his legs. She picked up the cane that was lying on her left side. Mile had to be anchored to the strength of the small girl, it is difficult to use a cane on the sand.
When he stood up with Sol's assistance, his phone fell from his lap. Shaking his head at his careless nature, he realised he had forgotten to place it inside the pocket. His leg was still not strong enough, especially after spending so much time sitting, so Sol gripped his arm tightly to keep him steady while he bent down to pick up the phone. His outstretched hand came to a stop, swayed in the air. Sound of sea meets sand, sounds awfully familiar.
P’Mile! How would you survive without me? Who knew someone so flawless could be so clumsy! Hehe
Mile widens his eyes and lets out a gasp. Sol worries as he glances at him. “Phi? Are you okay?”, a concerned voice, hands holding his arm and shoulder tightens. Mile's breath caught, and his eyes began to water. He exhaled a long, ragged breath. His lonely heart aches. Despite the large number of people on the beach with them and Sol holding him, he still feels isolated. In addition to feeling yearning and lacking, he is also perplexed. It consumes him.
He had been to Capri previously, but he wasn't with any of his relatives. He reached this island with a man. He was here with him. Who?. His pale hand was touched by an outstretched hand, and as well as some lovely teasing . It pained his head.
Sol's worried face flashes in front of him, she guides him to sit on the sand back. He gratefully accepted her offer to give him the mineral water as she brought it to his mouth. “Headache?” She provided him a painkiller, which Mile accepted after nodding. It took them a while before they actually got up and walked to their individual hotel rooms.
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Everything was confusing when he first opened his eyes. He did not remember almost all of the interaction with the doctor. Even his parents' crying faces were a blur, he felt nothing. It's just incredibly painful and confusing. Each time he provided an answer to the doctor's queries, his mother's sobs got louder. Other than perplexity, it still did not elicit any other feelings.
He was more alert and able to identify his relatives and cousins the second time he woke up. He was visited by a friend from college as well. He didn't appear to remember any of the new faces. According to the doctor, the accident's severe impact caused him to lose his memory. Mile frowns, aware that he used to drive carefully. Has he changed over the last three years? He is clueless. It also has been disclosed that there is a slim chance that he will regain his memory. It was almost impossible to recover at all. They don't know other than to follow the flow.
Although having his family close by was convenient, there was a strange gap in his life. He blamed the memory of the past years. It was not eventful as his older cousin said. The same thing was said by his brother, who advised him to prepare for the future. Put the past behind him. His mother advised him to drop it when he questioned her about it. She wants her son to be healthier and doesn't want to discuss the past.
Physiotherapy is required for his damaged leg. Sol enters the scene at that point in his life. She was introduced by his relative with two goals in mind. First, since Mile is unable to drive on his own, she could accompany Mile from the hospital to his apartment and act as his personal driver for a while. When Mile refused, his cousin said, "You can't drive and she drives safely." Additionally, his entire family is busy, including his parents, who must take care of their business in Mile's absence. Second, he wishes Mile to love her. She already likes him. It was a good match in his cousin's eyes. Mile believes differently.
Before opting to return to his apartment, he stayed in his family's house for an additional three months. He was dispatched by Sol; he did not extend an invitation to her. It would be inappropriate to welcome a complete stranger.
Now in his own apartment, he notices a few interior alterations from the one he recalled from the three years before the accident. Mile uses a cane and moves excruciatingly slowly. No dust when he slid his finger along the cabinet. While he was out in the cold, his mother must have sent someone to clean his apartment. Something struck him when he opened his bedroom.
Something is missing. The space in his room is still the same, but it feels empty in a place where it shouldn't. He scans the side of the closet that seems oddly empty. When he asked his mother, she said she threw Mile's old cloth, it was out of character for her. The bedside table is oddly bare. Mile disregarded it since he recalled his brother saying he had changed significantly in those three years. However, Mile still squints when he discovers something unusual. He discovered a spot was missing in the bathroom cupboard the following morning. Silently, Mile acknowledges that his room appears normal yet empty. His friends and family responded that there was nothing when he asked them. They advised him to focus on getting better rather than giving it any thought. Hollow's heart continues to burn, he feels. No one is willing to provide the fragments of memories for him
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Mile’s mother POV
The family had been anticipating the reunion for a while, as Mile's absence had left the home with a sombre air. The family's youngest member has always been the joy in an occasionally gloomy household. She claimed that when the incident occurred, her heart almost stopped. She might die with him, the fear of his son leaving her was too much.
Currently, Mile is seated with the elder cousins and his brother; he is grinning at the joke, but she is aware that Mile will always feel empty. With feeling sorry and with a heavy heart, she was unable to discuss the matter. She was unable to make her hard heart soften. Not yet.
The finest doctor they could find told them that while their son could walk, his legs would always be uncomfortable because of the metal breaking against his bones. Mile legs were crippled as a result. Never again will it be the same. The other issue is his memory, which she hopes Mile will permanently lose. Forever forget him. To avoid that fate once more, she would rather have her son half full.
The oldest son of her sister cracked another joke, sending echoes of laughter around the room. She grinned as her two sons burst out laughing at the ridiculous joke. Her gaze instantly turns to the woman who supports her during the challenging time. Sol has become the light to her, but deep down she knows it will never work between both of them, same as it could never work on her. Sol is sweet, yet she's awkward and too sweet for this family.
With the exception of him, no one could be the ideal puzzle piece.
Her husband spoke to Sol, who had been aiding Mile, and inquired how the trip planning was going. Although she was aware that her younger son wanted to decline, she herself believed it was a wonderful idea. While they are unavailable, a nurse like her may care for her son.
"It went exactly as planned," she smiled. " We'll take planes to a couple places. P'Mile could spend the time without thinking about anything else". Her hand automatically landed on Mile's shoulder and said, "Don't worry uncle". Her son has finally accepted her after one year of knowing each other.
The older cousin whistled “I could smell the wedding coming”, the poor lady blushing at the comment while Mile glare. She understood that he dislikes offering the young woman any false hope.
“It's good. Thank you, Sol," she said, referring to the vacation she had planned. It was a heartfelt thank you for all of her effort. Mile turned to face his mother and grinned cutely as she handed a glass of orange juice to her son. He will always be a baby in this family. She caresses his hair, soft, same as always.
The older relative watches Mile as he sits by his side. "You know, you could have picked her. She is lovely, thoughtful, and knowledgeable!" he boasted. Sol was now visibly crimson. Mile glare at the older cousin. He grumbled, "Brian, stop it." He rose up, holding the cane, saying, "I want to go to the bathroom." Mile is guided to the desired location by Sol, who instinctively holds on to his arm and shoulder.
Their backs began to retract. Both young people look fine together, as might be agreed by anyone. They might form a wonderful couple. Only if it were really that simple.
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Laughter that had faded and been drowned out by the crashing of the waves settled on the sand, disappointment as the sea tried to wash away the exquisite art's imprint. The leg flowing and running along the lovely beach decorated with an orange sunset. In his ears, laughter sounds like music. Mile could only observe from a distance. He wishes he could sprint over and give the person a big hug, but the more he gets near, the farther the happy man's hazy shape and the sound of laughter seem to be. He felt anxious and wanted to go closer to the person who was laughing and addressing him in a pleasant manner. He appears to be showing him something that he pulled out of the sand, but it is unclear like a damaged film. In this memory, he feels sad yet also lively and free. The man continued to walk away from him as he stared. Tears fell down his face in long trails after trails. Mile then collapsed to his knees. Crying and sobbing while hunching over himself. Calling for him in the memory, calling for someone he didn't know. His chest heaved shook and shattered.
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For him, leaving Capri was difficult. His heart has been filled with even more agony as a recollection passes past his eyes, leaving him feeling empty and his devastated dream having rejected him. They were making good progress, but Mile began to lose hope when he realised that they had been moving around the entire island nonstop. Sadly, it did not evoke any other recollections. He's now even more irate because of that. He was disappointed that he had lost a piece of himself and was dissatisfied with himself. He was unable to recall anything. It was quite disappointing. He needs to know what in the world occurred during those three years. As Sol began to see his irritability, she attempted to calm him down, but it only helped to fuel his rage.
The remaining time in Capri was filled with repressed rage and melancholy. This is not how Mile could live. He surrendered. He should start letting the past go, as his brother said. In those three years of his journey to recovery, if that individual from his memory does in fact exist, he ought to run into him. That guy never even paid him a visit or inquired about his health. With the exception of the memories that are haunting him on this island, Mile doesn't even know him. Mile, feeling hurt, reasoned that perhaps they had ended before the accident.
He arrived at Capri feeling empty, but he left feeling much more so.
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After the little holiday to Capri, a month has passed, and his mental health was in jeopardy. His newfound gloomy mood has his parents worried. They are unsure of how to quiet the young man's inner turmoil. His therapist offers him some guidance, and he spends his days consuming music that makes him feel calmer. Mile takes it in stride and is prepared to move on.
Then, he was back on the road with Sol. Visit New York, as suggested by his brother. With Sol as his tour guide and companion, it was a pleasant getaway. She has been supportive, and he has been able to escape the mental maelstrom by filling his days with food and entertainment.
Ideas of Mile physically and psychologically preparing to explore more of New York were interrupted by the news of his friend Masu's wedding. He came to the decision that he would go back to New York with Sol as soon as the wedding was over. He is fascinated by the environment and desires to know more. Sol assisted him with his luggage as he entered the airport while using a cane. He struggles to walk quicker efficiently due to his injured legs. For a while, Sol left him behind to find the closest restroom. Mile was preoccupied with his phone when a woman running quickly struck his shoulder, causing him to lose his balance and fall. He winches in pain as the blow causes his leg to cramp. His stuff was dispersed throughout the busy airport's white floor. With a groan, Mile gathered his possessions into a small circle so that others might easily avoid the mess. People stood by and observed him; none offered assistance, they turned and left. Then, a hand reached out from beyond his line of sight and silently assisted him.
Mile turned to face the man with raven hair; although his bang covered his eyes, Mile could see the dark circle beneath them from this position. His lips were dry and cracked. His complexion is a stunning honey brown, but soulless. The sight made his heart ache. Mile feels his heart almost stop involuntarily as their eyes lock, and the storm that had been raging inside of him earlier calms down at the sight of brown eyes before it spirals out of control. The man’s eyes widen as their eyes meet, a glimpse of recognition in the brown eyes before it gets glassy, he drops the eye, avoids eye contact. When the man's eyes caught sight of the worn cane, he froze before quickly retrieving it and offering it to Mile. He supported Mile in standing and leaving right away. As though their skin would burn him at the slightest contact. He quickly whirled around and started to walk away from Mile.
His breath almost caught in his throat. Mile hurriedly said, "Hey." The man came to a stop, turned around, and gazed at Mile. His posture was unsure in every way. In front of him, he appears nearly lifeless and pale. Mile almost blurted out the question in his mind just before he noticed he avoided Mile’s eye contact, looked clearly uncomfortable, Mile saw it, he felt sad. Mile uttered "thank you," struggling to get the words out as he saw the discomfort in the man's eyes. With this stranger, he did not want to step over the line.
The man turned to gaze at him with a tiny smile on his lips. "You're-," he started as just another voice came to Mile's side. Sol anxiously scans Mile, placing her hands on his upper arms and lower back "Are you okay, P'Mile? Anywhere on your body hurts?" asked the alarmed woman. She then turns to face the stranger, who was staring at them both while standing motionless. She twisted her face in rage. "Always watch your step. If you're a healthy man, you shouldn't be blind" she said angrily, ready to fight the one who did Mile wrong.
He said, with a weak, almost broken tone, "I'm sorry." It bothers Mile in some way. Sol appears more enraged. He holds her arm "Sol, it's not him coming at me. It was a girl. He helped me", he clarified. Her body turned to face the stranger and bowed as soon as she realised the truth. She simply smiled before turning to look at Mile to see whether he was hurt. Mile eyes never left the still-standing man.
He then turned to stare at Mile and Sol. Eventually, he focused on the woman's hands, which were all over Mile's body. He makes a genuine, slightly melancholy smile. He backed away from each of them cautiously. Mile only stares, his heart breaking the farther as that individual departed. However, he was too afraid to stop him. What is there to do? What if they were connected? What if Mile impacted him? What if he's just being played by his confused heart? Mile should have known better than to take this chance.
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Thailand was reached without incident. Since his family was away on yet another vacation, Masu greeted him instead of his loved ones. In his native country, he is left alone. He genuinely misses his family. As usual, Sol was supporting his arm as he reluctantly accepted the younger woman's support. In this airport, Masu stood out among the other passengers. Linking arms with him, his fiancé smiled at her soon to be husband. He was waving his arm when he noticed Mile. Happily. When his eyes are fixed on Sol and their connecting arm, he suddenly stops smiling and frowning
He embraced Mile "It's been a while. I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you in a while, but I hope you can understand. I'm glad you could attend ", he muttered gratefully. "This is my fiancé. I see you have someone else? ," he remarked, clearly perplexed and with a tinge of rage in his eyes. "Could never imagine you moving on and changing," he said, beginning to appear more irate. "Apo told me nothing," he said, clenching his jaw. The more his friend from university spoke, the more baffled he felt. As he attempts to grasp what this handsome man is saying, his mind malfunctions. Sol and his fiancée begin to feel uneasy. Masu no longer hid his irritation or retreated; instead, he stared at Mile first, then Sol as if they were nothing more than dirt. "How could you did thi-"
Before he finished his words, a man approached the angry man from Sol's side and gave him a bear hug, which caused Masu, who was furious at the time, to cease being angry. It was all a blur, and it left Mile speechless and startled. His words die down. The raven hair from earlier was hugging his friends, the tight hug was reciprocated by Masu. Migraines started to form, he groaned.