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Sometimes Edward Teach should stop listening to Jack Rackham. Sure, he’s a funny guy, smart enough to get them into all kinds of trouble, but dumb enough to get them caught. At the end of the day Jack is his friend, that is if pirates were allowed friends.
It’s because of this that the two were so far up each other’s asses that there wasn’t much of a difference when they had started officially dating. Or whatever it is that they’re doing. The only difference now is that sometimes they end up kissing more than they do much else. They aren’t exactly the sneakiest at it either, though it’s not as if any one of Hornigold’s men is surprised by it. Things happen at sea. Boys will be boys. But in Hornigold’s words, ‘Boys learn to be men’ aboard his ship.
Hornigold hands out punishments like a drunken shore-leave hands out regrets.
Stealing earns ten lashes. Being caught inebriated is five lashes. Skimping on duties is a beating and reassignment to another, more grueling, task.
Waking up in another man’s hammock after a long night or finding company in another man at sea isn’t exactly a crime aboard the Ranger–lord knows more than half of them have done it. It’s just that Edward Teach and Jack Rackham got caught, and more than once. Now, it's moments like this that Edward is lucky that he’s so pretty. Jack has been a thorn in Hornigold’s side since the moment he’d stepped on board, and when he was caught with his hand in Edward’s pants and his tongue halfway down Edward Teach’s throat: Hornigold wanted to kill him. Edward’s perfect, wide, gooey eyes teared up and the apologies flowed like honey. So he lets the stupid blonde kid live, but he doesn’t hold back when he doles out the punishments.
Ed sighs angrily through his nose and works the chisel around the edge of a barnacle, cringing at the way it peels away at the wood around it. The hull’s going to look so pitted when they're done, but Hornigold won’t give him any flack for it anyways, not with him being his favorite these days. It’s a hard job, smiling at the fucking creep and pretending he isn’t trying to explode him with his mind. It’s worth it for the most part, he gets extra food rations and extra protection, first crack at baths, and the old shit is easy enough to manipulate into giving him anything else Ed wants. Jack doesn’t like it, but he understands it. Shit, if he were prettier he would be doing the same thing. Besides, it’s not like they’re that serious are they? Sure, they kiss, they tangle up at night, they defend each other, but it’s not like they’re actually dating. Pirates don’t date. They aren’t fucking meant for one another.
“Are you sure you're fine mate? I swear I heard it crack” Ed asks, grunting as he pries the barnacle free with a scrape. It’s quiet. Edward hates the fucking quiet. Plus, he feels like Jack might be mad at him. Hornigold had done a number on his face.
Jack snickers and turns to Ed, a stupid smile and a split lip already spread across his face. His eye’s a sorry sight, a real swollen crescent around his eye that nestles across the bridge of his nose. He’s beat to shit, but to Edward he’s handsome.
“Nah, old fuck can’t land a punch. S’worth it anyways.”
“Jack, can you even see what you’re scraping out of that one? It’s all swollen.” Ed gestures to his own left eye, casually swinging the chisel a bit.
“Dunno, pull out a tit and we’ll check” Jack shrugs, swaying back and forth in the swing. He bites his stupid split lip and smiles, tilting his head back and to the side as if he’s really expecting him to do it.
“Oh great. He’s mashed your brains. Wet tack sloshing about up there.” Ed sighs, going back to scraping his chisel around another barnacle. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Jack staring at him again, still making a stupid fucking face. He stops mid-scrape, his hand leaning against the wet wood when he turns to Jack again.
“You’re really not going to work until I do it, are you?” He says, smiling slowly as it dawns on him.
“Nope.” Jack says proudly, popping his lips around the ‘P’. He stares over the billowing fabric of Ed’s shirt. It’s standard issue, no different from the one that Jack’s got over his back, aside from the visible flecks of blood dried into his collar of his.
Ed carefully pushes his body away from the hull with his feet and leans over a bit, carefully pulling his shirt to the side so he can show a flash of brown, freckled skin. The new tattoos are so dark against him, standing out in sharp contrast to the softness of his chest as he fishes his breast through the opening in the shirt. Edward doesn’t really understand why everyone’s so obsessed with them. They’re just part of his chest is all. Never really had a good or bad relationship with them. Jack wolf whistles and sticks his tongue out to pant, kicking his foot hard against the hull with a loud whoop.
“Damn, Eddie look at those. Really, gotta let the things breathe from time to time. Sides, nobody’s down here but us. Get a lil sun on them.”
“You’re going to get us in trouble Jack, you dick, shut up. Loud mouth.” Ed snickers, undoing his shirt a bit to let the wind wick away the sweat forming along his spine and across his chest.
“Actually” Jack mumbles loud enough for Ed to hear, “You’re not even in trouble. I, on the other hand, have an entire other eye to lose. I’ll miss seeing those things, but that’s what god gave us hands for, right?” He finally goes back to work, picking at something on the hull with his chisel. Ed really doesn’t care what the fuck he’s actually doing, so long as he manages to at least look busy if someone comes to check on them.
“You’ve touched them so many times, mate. Seen them a bunch too. Don’t you think you’d remember them?” Ed asks, popping another few unlucky barnacles off the side and sending them plummeting below. “Also, I’m in trouble. You saw how captain looked at me. Wasn’t happy.”
“That’s just because he saw you with me is all. Geezer obviously has the hots out for you. Fucking gross if you ask me, but I get it. Prettiest face on the damned boat that’s for sure.”
Jack hums, still scraping at the same spot on the hull. “The fact that he saw us getting busy probably didn’t do it any favors.”
“Wow you’re a charmer, Jack.”
“S’how I got you isn’t it?”
“You think you got me, Rackham?”
“Your tits are out and youre scraping barnacles with me because you couldn’t keep your hands off me for a day” He says simply, that stupid smile that makes Ed feel helpless crawls across his face.
“You’re not scraping shit over there. Seriously, what’re you doing? Making a dick?”
“Nah, you wanna see?”
“You know if its a dick he’s gonna fucking skin you. I’m serious Jack, he broke your face, he's gonna skin you.”
“I told you it's not a dick. Give me like one fucking second okay hold on.”
Ed stops his work, leaning back in the swing a little and extending his legs. Hanging off the side of a ship sucks. His skin feels so dry, his joints ache, this sucks. Jack is here though, so it can’t be too bad. He’d walk into hell with him, and probably make a real mess of the place too if their late-night talks are anything to go by.
Edward doesn’t think he loves him. Pirates don’t do the whole love thing. Well, alive pirates anyways. You love someone and you’re opening your heart up to them for them to systematically slash at. Ed doesn’t mind it much, even if there are a few shallow scrapes across it. Sometimes Jack looks at him like he’s everything and that makes all the shitty little things worth it.
Sometimes Ed tells Jack he wants to run off with him, get their own little cog and putt around the coasts of the Carolinas until they end up hung on opposite sides of a port town on the same day. It’s what pirates do. And if Ed’s to be a proper pirate, he’d want Jack to be with him. That’s love for pirates. He assumes Jack wants the same, given the number of times he’s gotten far too drunk and hung on him like a lamprey, kissing him and telling him he wants him.
It’s good enough.
“Masterpiece is finished. Ready?” Jack announces, hiding whatever it is he’s carved into the wood under both his hands. Ed just hopes that whatever it is, it’s not big enough that Hornigold notices it and finally does murder Jack. It’d be his own fault, the dumbass, but he would be pretty sad losing him over a 4-inch dick caved into the side of the boat.
“Yeah, let's see this thing.” Ed clears his throat and crosses his arms expectantly, nodding at Jack to move his hands away.
When he does, Ed flinches. It’s not a dick. Or balls. Or a giant pussy with wings. It is, however, enough to make his brain freeze up in his skull. It’s a heart, horribly choppy around the edges and a lot closer to three ugly triangles than anything else. That’s a forgivable crime, but the real kicker is the sloppy set of initials thrown inside of it. A poorly done “CJ+ET” is shoved in the too-small space of the heart. Ed stares first at the display and then over at Jack, where he’s beaming nervously.
“You dick. You made your initials bigger than mine!” Ed laughs, curling over on himself and not even caring that he’s dropped his chisel off his lap and into the depths below them.
“I ran out of space! Fucking needy, I'll make another–”
“Nah”
Ed grabs his arm and pulls his swing closer, leaning in and kissing him on his stupid mouth. He tickles sometimes when he kisses Ed, the 10 hairs above his lip that he calls the beginnings of something great always tickle at his lip and nose. He likes the tickle, a laugh building between their lips.
He wonders how much a boat could be.