Chapter Text
Mammon: WE'RE PLAYING FUCKING GUBBLE!
MC: heheheheh
Mammon: SHIT DUDE! HOLY F U C K
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Levi, losing: I'm the video game boy, I'm the one who wins :C
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Beel: MOAR!
Belphie: Jesus Christ Beel, fine, fuck, alright.
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Solomon, MC: Bienvenue powerbottoms!
Lucifer: Wh-
Diavolo: *wheeze*
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Asmo: COME ONNNN
Satan: Oh my Diavolo
Asmo: I GAVE YOU.. A LACE PARASOL, A TEA SET, A BRACELET-
Satan: She is just, not that into you. Gotta take that hint.
Asmo: I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU!
Satan: You gotta let it go.
Asmo: I WANNA PUT MY FACE BETWEEN YOUR BOOBS!
Satan: *sigh*
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*cue doing each other's makeup poorly with kids makeup*
Beel: You look like something they'd serve at 2;30 in the morning at Madam Screams
MC: I feel like I just came back from a mythical creature bukakke
Asmo: *having a breakdown about their skin health
Also Asmo: XD
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*at lunch in RAD*
Beel: Who does not love a good Mac N Cheese. Everybody loves Mac N Cheese...Chicken Alfredo? Mac N Cheese. Lasagna? Mac N Cheese, just put some meat in it. It's all Mac N Cheese, dude. Rigatoni? Well that's just a noodle, but if you put cheese on it then it becomes Mac N Cheese. Do you see where I'm going with this?
Mammon: Hey MC what was your favourite conversation with Beel? *imitates* "I really liked the one where Beel talked about Macaroni for a looooong time.."
Beel: *happy, munching*
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Solomon: Oh shit oh shit oh fuck I don't have any Estus Flasks- DIEEE~
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*family game night or something idk*
Lucifer: Tell me three adjectives to describe yourself
(It's probably Asmo but I love the idea of MC saying this without thinking) MC: Plump, sweet and begging for cream!
Everyone: *blushes, laughs*
Lucifer: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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Levi: God, it's so hard to fuckin.. fuck!
Belphie: I know how you feel
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Beel: -and then you- fuckin- and then you're like "onion" and they're like "okay" and they put like two onions on it and it's like.. "MOrE oNioN PlEAsE"
Barbatos: *nods*
Luke: 0.0 XD
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MC: I fucked up, like 'e' 'y' 'e'
Mammon: 'e' 'y' 'e'? That's 'ewe'.
Lucifer: Are you fucking serious.
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Levi: ♬dumadumadeba- hubedodaleba- HUMADUBELEBA-♬
MC: *joins in*
Both: ♬HUBADUBEDEBA~ DUDUDUDADADADAAaaa-♬
Levi: *super confident pause* uhm😰 puuut a record on...
MC: XDDD
Lucifer, behind the door about to knock: pfft- 🤭
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Solomon, Asmo: I HAS BRO!
Asmo: *laughs, swings into Solomon*
Solomon: do you has bro?
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Satan: You wanna start that sentence again?
MC, messing with him: Amin enaild in brurg. But you don't even, because that's the one, and and and you know what you need to do?
Satan: Mmhm? *trying not to laugh* Shut the fuck up <3
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*Asmo forces MC and Solomon to come out with him to get a makeover*
Solomon: Hey, don't I look like I should be wearing a suit and have a stogy and be like "I'm gonna make you a star, darling"
MC: Yeah.. you look like a porn director that didn't, like, quite get finished getting ready in the morning?
Solomon: yeah, yeah-
Asmo: *trying so hard not to laugh and annoy his stylist*
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Mammon: could you not draw, like at all when you started?
MC: Of course- wh- you think I came out the pussy drawing fuckin Mozart?
Mammon: I- I do think that! XD
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Royal Painter: *pulls out easel and canvas*
Kid Diavolo: *puts dirty hand on canvas*
Royal Painter: Young Master, no- damn it..
Kid Diavolo: *smiles, picture of innocence*
Royal Painter: It's fine.. *sigh* it's not a big deal...
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*Lucifer finds out about the evergreen tree being uprooted*
Mammon: MC we got a jingle jangle problem on our hands, Santa's going NUTS!
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Levi: This game was a fuckin journey! Final thoughts, Belphie?
Belphie: I wish I were dead.
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Asmo: I'm a medium by the way! Lots of fans keep sending me Large stuff and I can't wear it, because it's too big :(
Beel: I'm an XL. A lot of fans keep sending me a small because they think I'm a petite little boy...
Asmo: pfft-
Beel: -but I am in fact a large, fat man.
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Asmo: *lewd noises*
Simeon: XD stop, gross!
Solomon: Yeah, ew.
Asmo to Solomon: That's the sound of my hand going up and down your slippery shaft-
Solomon: Okay, got it, thank you XP
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Levi, beating Satan at Kirby: oh dear..
Satan: That's how angry I am! Every spike is one degree of anger, so it's like, ten degrees..."
Levi, internally: 'Don't laugh or you're dead, do not laugh-'
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Mammon: I've got... *flies come out his wallet* ...no money...
Lucifer, intending to piss him off: Why? *smirk*
Mammon: ...ᴵ ˢᵖᵉⁿᵗ ᶦᵗ ᵃˡˡ ᵒⁿ ᵍᵃᵐᵇˡᶦⁿᵍ...
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Beel, extremely hungry and mad: Hi. I'm smiling Beel turnip. Telling you to stay in school. Don't do drugs. Eat your teeth.
MC: Beel, no-
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Levi, playing a visual novel: "Pain is a cheap price to pay." JUST.. SOMETHING HAPPEN. PLEASE!
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MC: This reminds me of a dream where I was kissing y- ...a girl.
Diavolo, already laughing and blushing: Uh huh, good save.
MC:... and she was really pretty, and tall, and had short hair.. and was the Demon Prince.
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Satan: I feel bad for the next person I sleep with, because this- this anger... is coming out in the bedroom. I'm just kidding-
MC: I'll prepare myself XD
Satan: 0///0 ;)
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*playing cluedo or smth idk*
Satan: Lucifer, you were in the student council office for a long time yesterday...
MC: BECAUSE HE'S A GREAT KISSER!
*silence*
Lucifer: *smirk, light laugh*
MC: ...is what I've... been told.. XD
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Lucifer, Beel: The bananas has gone bad!? What. the FUCK.