Work Text:
—
“You’re fucking kidding me, mate.”
“Do you see me laughing?”
Nigel lights the cigarette hanging precariously over his ear with a sigh.
“Fucking hell.”
“Take these.”
Darko hands Nigel a stack of documents. He flips open the passport on top and starts laughing, the sound of Nigel’s bravado and smoker’s cough permeating the room like an opera.
“Jack? That’s the best you could do?”
“You don’t like the name? Take it up with HR,” Darko replies sarcastically, “I found you a temporary job—something in IT.”
“How the hell am I supposed to do that?”
“Fucking figure it out.”
“I know cars, boats, and weapons… but computers?”
“They all speak the same language, don’t they?”
“But not the same dialect.”
“Just lay low and don’t make a mess.”
“Bullshit.”
—
“This is Kelli. If you need to find anything or anyone, she’s your person.”
“It’s so nice to meet you,” Kelli chirps with a smile, visibly stunned by Nigel’s presence.
Nigel nods and takes out a pack of cigarettes.
“You can’t smoke in here!” Mr. Klieber exclaims, taken aback by Nigel’s behavior.
“Since when?”
“Since—Since always!”
He grumbles and puts away the smokes. “Fine. Have it your way.”
“You can take your smoke breaks outside in the designated smoking area. Capisce? Now usually our Team Lead would train you, but since he’s on vacation, Adam will be helping you out today.”
Nigel is then led to the back of the building where he notices a modest young man working in his cubicle. He doesn’t bother to look up or acknowledge them at all.
“Jack, this is Adam. Adam, this is who I said you would be training until Don gets back.”
Adam doesn’t break contact with the screen and instead looks annoyed. Nigel finds himself already liking this particular man.
“Adam?”
“Yes Mr. Klieber, I heard you.”
“Then I’ll leave you both to it. Jack, we’ll check back in at lunch to see how you’re doing. Remember Adam, five thousand at $100, not five at $1,000. Capisce?”
Nigel rolls his eyes and plants himself next to Adam who doesn’t perceive him in the slightest. He thinks the job is stupid and probably useless until he tries turning on a computer. Nothing. Nigel loosens his tie and looks under the desk to no avail.
“Hey. You.”
“Huh?”
“Can you help me?”
He looks bothered. “With what?”
“This shit won’t turn on.”
Adam checks under the table and frowns. “The wires aren’t plugged in.”
“I know.”
“You’ll have to ask Kelli for a surge protector.”
“A what?”
“Are you sure you’re here for the IT position?”
Nigel is offended. “English is my fourth language so you’ll have to excuse me.” Fucker.
“Oh.” Adam’s face softens. “It’s the device that you plug the wires into.”
“Can I just borrow yours for today? I don’t feel like talking to anyone.”
“I often feel that way too,” Adam empathizes with a faint chuckle, making Nigel light up.
“Adam is it?”
He nods. “I-I’m on the autism spectrum.”
Nigel jumps back in his chair. “What the fuck is that? Is it contagious?”
“No. It’s uh, sometimes it's hard for me to… I don’t know what people are thinking most of the time.”
“It’s not just you.”
“But my brain works differently from NT’s.”
“NT?”
“Neurotypicals. For me it’s mostly sensory issues, like feeling under-stimulated and overstimulated, sometimes at the same time.”
“I’m going out for a smoke. You coming?”
“I don’t smoke.”
Nigel shrugs and leaves.
—
“I’m going to fucking skin you alive, you cunt.”
“You don’t like your job? But you looked so fancy in your new tie.”
“Mănânci căcat!*”
“I know, brother. But it is necessary if we want to run a business here.”
“They’re vampires, Darko. Sucking the joy out of everything.”
“Tell me about it after you finish the job. Don’t get fired on the first day.”
“I’ll never forgive you for this.”
—
Nigel checks his watch: a quarter past noon. He hopes he missed his meeting with the insufferable manager from earlier. As Nigel heads back to his desk from an hour-long smoke break, relief fills him at the sight of Adam sitting in the same spot; undisturbed.
“What’s that?” He asks, observing Adam eating.
“My lunch.”
“Looks like shit.”
Adam stares at his bowl with a slight pout. “It’s macaroni and cheese.”
“Why don’t you leave the office for lunch like the others?”
“I like eating at my desk. It’s quiet. Or at least it used to be.”
Nigel is instantly smitten by Adam’s frankness. “Can I try some?”
“No, this is my lunch.”
“But I didn’t bring any food. Are you going to let me starve?”
“That’s not my problem.”
Nigel doesn’t know whether to hate or respect this man. Perhaps a bit of both.
“I thought you Americans are always going on about hospitality.”
“This is New York City,” Adam contends, in spite of the loud man sharing his cubicle space.
—
The alarm clock goes off at exactly six in the morning.
“Fuck!” Nigel screams, violently smashing the cheap piece of plastic against the wall.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Darko screams back, rolling out of bed at the commotion. “You almost broke the Virgin Mary. That’s eternal damnation, Nigel.”
“How’s that fucking work when I don’t believe in any of that shit?”
“Because I pray for your soul. Ungrateful bastard.” Darko turns to the statue on his nightstand and makes the blessed sign of the cross with his hands. He then tosses a plastic bag onto Nigel’s bare chest. “Divine intervention.”
Nigel knowingly slides a knife out from under his pillow and uses it to inhale the contents of the bag. He pinches the bridge of his nose and lets the powder do its magic.
“How the fuck do people do this every day?”
“I haven’t got a clue, mate. I’m just trying to look out for me and you.”
—
“Good morning, Adam.”
“Good morning… Oh, I forgot your name.”
“Jake—Jack.” Nigel almost forgot it too.
“Good morning Jake Jack.”
Nigel forces himself to keep a straight face. “So what’s the fucking plan, captain?”
“I’m not a captain, I’m an electronic engineer. And you curse a lot.”
Nigel is curious about the robotic macaroni man. “You know, we could use someone like you in our… church. Tell me Adam, what does an electronic engineer do?”
“I design and develop mechanical components, which is what I like doing, but I’m also a data engineer, which is what the company mostly utilizes me for. I collect and analyze lots of data.”
“And how do you do that?”
“Are you asking me or are you just being polite?”
“Does it fucking matter?”
“I talk too much when I get excited.”
“It’s fascinating, and I think you’re fascinating.”
Adam smiles.
“I mainly work in Python but I also use JavaScript. Did you know many of NASA’s programs are written in Python? On the Mars 2020 Perseverance Rover mission, Python scripts were used to process and transfer images back to the flight control center.”
“I did not know any of that.”
“Yeah, that’s why I started learning it. I wanted to become an astronaut one day.”
“There’s still time.”
Adam scoffs. “I’ve never piloted an aircraft and I wouldn’t pass their physical tests.”
“But they can still pick your brain, right?”
“I applied, but I wasn’t accepted. NASA has an acceptance rate of less than 1% so I don’t feel that bad about not getting in.”
“Perhaps you were destined for greater things, Adam. We should keep in touch.”
“Why? We see each other at work every day.”
“Because one day, we might not.”
Nigel grabs a pen and paper from Adam’s desk and jots down his number.
“Alright, what’s the next step, captain?”
“Well, the first step is to plug in your computer…”
—
Nigel appears to be having an orgasm, but he’s actually eating Romanian food.
Darko laughs and slaps him on the back.
“You should be groveling at my feet. I finally found a place that serves Romanian food around here. I’m so fucking sick of pizza and hot dogs.”
“This guy at my work eats macaroni. Every. Single. Day. Fucking drives me crazy.”
Darko makes a face of disgust. “Anyway, we’re open for business. There’s a few things I need to do, but it’s a start. It’s a shame you can’t do IT for real…”
“Funny you say that Darko, I think I know someone who can.”
“Macaroni man?”
“Yeah.”
“You think he would work with us?”
“After I convince him.”
“Let’s be sure we can trust him first.”
“I will.”
—
Nigel shows up to work the next day with a pep in his step, now having a real reason to be there. Of course the main goal was to recruit a tech guy for their organization, but a small part of him just wanted to get to know Adam better.
As expected, Adam is working at his desk in complete silence.
“Hello World,” Nigel announces.
He stops typing. “Is that a Python reference?”
“Could be,” Nigel smirks with his eyes.
“You’re wearing glasses today,” Adam acknowledges, appreciating the way Nigel’s tortoise shell glasses frame his chiseled face.
Nigel is surprised Adam even noticed.
“Does it make me look smarter?”
Adam blushes. “I-I think you look very attractive in glasses.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“It was meant to be a compliment.”
“You know, I think that we should go out sometime. How about this weekend?”
“This weekend?”
“You busy?”
“No, I just… I get kind of overloaded.”
“Even if I’m with you?”
Adam nods.
“You’d be better off hanging out with Mark or Kelli. They’re both popular and Kelli knows all the best places to go in the city. At least that’s what she always says.”
“Don’t know who the fuck Mark is and I don’t care for Kelli. I want to hang out with you, not them.”
Adam averts his eyes to the floor. “I’m not sure you know what you’re getting into.”
Nigel beams at the irony. “If only you knew, darling. So dinner tomorrow. Eight-ish?”
“Uh… Where?”
“I don’t know, we’ll figure it out.”
Adam shakes his head. “I’d prefer to know ahead of time so I know what to expect.”
“Do you know ‘Le Petit Prince’ Adam?”
“The Little Prince? I’ve heard of it, but I haven’t read it.”
“In the story, there is a picture of a snake eating an elephant. When you show this picture to most people, they will see it as a hat. But those with imagination will see the truth. So Adam, what do you see? A snake eating an elephant or a hat?”
Adam looks delightfully amused.
—
“Where the fuck are you going?”
“Out.”
“It’s been two weeks, Nigel. You met someone already?”
“The side effects of divorce.”
Darko’s eyes darken when Nigel walks past him. “And you’re wearing cologne?”
“Shut the fuck up, Darko.”
“You’re actually trying to impress this girl. What’s her name?”
“None of your fucking business.”
“Lovely name. Does she have any sisters?” Darko calls out as Nigel heads to the bathroom to finish getting dressed.
Nigel didn’t know how to break the news to Darko and figured they would cross that bridge when they got there.
“At least tell me if she’s hot, asshole!”
“She’s an absolute dime.”
—
Nigel doesn’t know if he’s at the right place because he’s been knocking for ten minutes without a response. He also called Adam twice but the line went straight to voicemail.
Feeling dejected, he lights a cigarette and hollers, “Okay Adam. I’m leaving.”
A small voice echoes through the cracks, “Sorry.”
It makes Nigel stop in his tracks.
“You really don’t like public spaces, do you?”
“Do you hate me?”
“I don’t know you. But I would like to.”
A lock unlatches, followed by, “Do you wanna come in?”
“Sure.”
The door opens and reveals a shy but sharply dressed Adam, who Nigel greets with wandering eyes as he surveys the spacious apartment.
“Nice place you got here.”
“Thanks.”
“All by yourself?”
“My father lived here too.”
“Oh, where is he now?”
“Queens. He died six weeks ago.”
“Shit Adam, I’m sorry.”
Nigel tries to salvage the mood by making himself comfortable on the couch and patting the seat next to him. Adam hesitantly takes it and leaves as much space between them as he can.
“I don’t bite. Unless you’re into that sort of thing.” He focuses on Adam’s body language with interest. “So are you going to offer me a drink or what?”
“I have tea.”
Nigel laughs. “I meant alcohol, darling.”
“I don’t drink alcohol.”
“Fucking hell. Seriously? How do you entertain people, then?”
“I usually don’t have guests over.”
“Tea it is,” Nigel declares in defeat.
He then watches Adam nervously boil a kettle of water and pick out tea leaves from various tins as if he were performing a science experiment.
“Is it reasonable to assume we’ll be dining in as well?”
“If you want.”
“Please tell me there’s more on the menu than macaroni?”
Adam doesn’t say anything.
“Well, I’ve never had macaroni and tea on a date before; exclusively.”
“Is this a date?” Adam asks in a curious tone.
“Might have been if we went out for dinner.”
“Can macaroni and cheese count as dinner?”
Nigel is profoundly captivated by Adam. There is something relentless behind those deep blue eyes that he wants to know everything about.
“Fucking hell. Why not?”
Adam smiles and prepares their frozen meal for them.
“I put on a nice shirt, new pants, and cologne, just to eat macaroni with a guy named Adam.”
“Adam Raki,” he says smugly.
“Adam Raki,” Nigel repeats, letting the full name reverberate on his tongue.
Adam then places both bowls on the counter and hands Nigel a fork unceremoniously.
They eat their microwaved cuisine in companionable silence until Nigel finally comments, “Do you ever get tired of this?”
“No. I like routines.”
“I see.”
The response confuses him, but Adam can feel Nigel’s enthusiasm fading fast.
“You said this is a date, right?” he quickly asks, stuffing a forkful of food into his mouth.
“It’s whatever you want it to be, Adam.”
“Then I want to show you something. Stay right here.”
“Where else would I fucking go?”
Adam disappears from the kitchen to tinker and toil again. When he finishes, he excitedly instructs Nigel to follow him into the living room where he flips on a switch.
“See, the nice thing about dining in is we can do dinner and a movie.”
His apartment is now a shimmering reflection of the universe. Distant planets, constellations, and galaxies are projected over Adam’s previously static walls, adding to the immersion of the experience. Nigel is moved by the gesture, never having seen anything like it before. Adam was truly one of a kind.
“These are all pictures of stars and galaxies that have been traveling away from us for hundreds of millions or billions of years. But that’s still nearby compared to most of the universe that we'll never see. Some day, everything you see here will disappear forever. And, eventually, the night sky will be almost completely dark.”
“Then we have to cherish it before it’s all gone.”
“I have been talking too much, so…”
“You did all this? By yourself?”
Adam nods.
“It’s beautiful.”
Nigel closes the gap between them and Adam responds, pleasantly surprising him. When they part, Adam looks like a changed man with desire in his eyes.
“Jack, are you attracted to me? Sexually?”
“What do you think, gorgeous?”
“Does that mean you want to have sex with me?”
“Under the stars? How can I refuse an offer like that?”
Nigel smiles and climbs on top of Adam; his weight warm and comforting. He then unhooks Adam’s buckle and zipper in one fell swoop, making the younger man shudder.
“I’ve never had sex under the stars before,” he admits shyly, “In my living room or out there.”
“So I’m your first?”
Adam bites his lip. “Yeah.”
“I like the sound of that,” Nigel growls possessively, instantly shedding his own clothes.
He licks a trail down Adam’s stomach and playfully bites him through his underwear, making Adam’s body jolt in excitement.
“Do you have any lube, darling?”
“No.”
“Lotion then?”
“In the bathroom. Why? What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to rock your world.”
Nigel kisses him and quickly retrieves the bottle of lotion from the bathroom. Setting it aside, he aggressively pulls Adam down by his thighs.
“May I?”
Slender legs wrap around Nigel as he consumes Adam whole, a tongue sliding from the base to the tip in perfectly timed intervals. Unable to hold himself back, Adam’s eyes roll to the back of his head and he begins to convulse wildly. Nigel smirks and takes it all, licking his lips as Adam’s body goes limp in his arms.
“Are you alright Adam?”
“Mm-hmm,” he groans; toes curling.
“I love how you taste. I could get used to it.”
“I’m sorry. I know that people prefer it to last longer, but it’s been a while since the last time I…”
“Nothing to be sorry about, darling. The real question is: are you up for round two?”
Nigel gently kisses the inside of Adam’s inner thigh and looks to him for approval. In response, Adam spreads his legs, giving Nigel a chance to lap at the hot opening pulsating for him. He makes a noise that awakens something primal in Nigel.
“More of that?”
“Yes, more.”
Nigel nods and approaches it the same way he would pleasure a woman.
He applies pressure in certain areas, searches for that special spot, and flicks his tongue where the seams meet. Adam squirms with each new sensation, breathing fire as a finger joins Nigel’s experienced mouth. Soon, lotion-slicked fingers replace Nigel’s tongue entirely and he leans in closely to whisper, “I can’t wait to feel you, gorgeous.”
The soft voice tickles Adam’s ear and involuntarily puts an arch in his back, which Nigel eagerly reads as a sign to start preparing himself with a generous amount of lotion.
“Are you ready for me?”
“I need you.”
He aligns himself with Adam and slowly pushes inside; two finally becoming one.
“Oh fuck, how does it feel?” Nigel rasps, trying to gauge Adam’s mood. “Anything?”
“It feels nice.”
“Just nice?”
“It’s the best sex I’ve ever had.”
“That’s more fucking like it,” Nigel bellows, fully offering himself to the abyss.
As he gazes upon Adam’s face, loose, wet curls blurring into tightly knit lines, Nigel can feel himself falling in love all over again. Without warning, his vision suddenly goes blank and he releases himself deep inside Adam, the tightness causing him to go numb.
“Holy shit.” Nigel’s whole body is twitching. “I think that’s the best sex I’ve ever had.”
Adam looks incredibly pleased. “You’re the only person who’s ever told me that.”
“I better be.”
—
“Brother, I’m starting to think that you’re lying to me.”
Nigel’s head perks up. “In what way?”
“You claim to be seeing this new woman, but I have yet to meet her. What gives?”
“Maybe I want to keep her to myself.”
Darko looks offended. “Are you keeping secrets now? I knew everything about Gabi.”
“I don’t want to make the same mistakes as Gabi. You’ll meet her, Darko. When the time is right.”
“She must be really special.”
“She is,” Nigel affirms with a twinkle in his eye.
Darko sighs. “Unlike you, I’ve had no such luck at the clubs.”
“You won’t meet the love of your life at the strip club, Darko.”
“Speak for yourself,” he refutes, clinking his glass with Nigel’s, “I met the love of my life three different times yesterday. They just didn’t feel the same way. Now, let’s go.”
—
It’s almost midnight when a cacophony of knocks disturbs the tranquility of Adam’s apartment.
“Open up, it’s me.”
The tension that had Adam’s mind racing in circles finally subsides when he hears the familiar voice. He gets up to answer the door.
“Oh hey. I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Nice surprise, isn’t it?” Nigel inquires with a crooked smile, bursting into the apartment like a Broadway musical, “I was out and you crossed my mind, so I decided to stop by.”
Adam laughs while a drunken Nigel showers him with affection.
“It is a nice surprise, but you smell like alcohol.”
“What’s fucking new, darling?”
Adam embraces Nigel and they both tumble onto the couch in a tangled mess of limbs.
“Did you have fun while you were out?”
“Not really. Same old strip club shit.”
That’s when Adam’s demeanor changes. “You went to a strip club?”
“It’s nothing like that, darling. Just a bit of fun.”
“But you just said you didn’t have fun.”
Nigel’s eyes widen as he realizes his mistake all too late.
“Actually, it was for business.”
He pushes Nigel off him. “What does that mean, for business?”
“I was meeting a potential client and took them out to the clubs.”
“As an IT technician?”
“Look Adam, it’s about time I told you the truth.”
Adam is speechless at the implication.
“I’m not who you think I am. I mean, I am, but I’m not in IT. I’m in… sales and distribution.”
“I don’t understand, Jack.”
“Fuck.” Nigel buries his face in his hands. “I took that job as a cover. I don’t know shit about computers. And my name isn’t Jack, it’s Nigel.”
Adam jumps off the couch, his face contorted with hurt and confusion. “You lied to me? About everything?!” He begins to anxiously pace back and forth in the apartment.
“It’s not like that.”
“It’s exactly like that! How many times have we—and I’ve been calling you the wrong name like an idiot! Dumb Adam, is that it? You just wanted to make a fool out of me?”
“Not at all.”
“Get out.”
“Adam, wait—”
“YOU’RE A LIAR! I HATE YOU! GET OUT!”
—
Darko exhales deeply and punches a hole into the drywall.
“I’ll get another one. Vă rog*.” Nigel pleads with him.
“Pe dracu!* You couldn’t even keep the last one for more than a month! I ask you to do one fucking thing…”
“It’s a fucking temp job. Christ.”
He smacks Nigel’s face with an open palm. “Get your fucking shit together!”
“Son of a bitch…” Nigel laments, rubbing his throbbing head, “I lost the girl anyway, so we’re even.”
Darko can’t get past the audacity. “How does that make us even?”
“Because we’re both fucked.”
“You make decisions by your dick and now you bring this upon our heads! Why couldn’t you just stick to strippers like the rest of us?” He runs a very stressed hand over his forehead, pointing at the nightstand with the other. “What would the Virgin Mary think? What would she say!”
“Fucking hell. She would say I helped us make a big sale last night. 250k in our pockets!”
“None of it fucking matters if you blow our cover you idiot! Why do you think we are here instead of Romania? Du-te dracului!*”
“I won’t blow our cover, you cunt.”
“This is the problem with you Nigel, you are so fucking selfish. You only think of yourself. That’s why Gabi left. I’m going out.” Darko grabs his jacket off the chair and slams the door behind him.
‘ You are so fucking selfish ’
‘ That’s why Gabi left’
The words haunt Nigel until he lets out an agonizing scream and collapses to the floor.
—
Nigel sits alone in a busy sushi restaurant in Brooklyn; people watching.
There are a few fellow loners in the shop but it’s mostly couples and families eating, laughing, and sharing stories together. He feels a pang of jealousy knowing he will never have what they have.
The only family he has ever known is Darko and even he couldn’t bear to see Nigel right now.
He empties his eighth bottle of sake and decides it’s time to leave. While Nigel is waiting at the counter to pay, he notices a peculiar ceramic cat beckoning him at the register. It makes him break a smile because it reminds him of Darko’s precious Virgin Mary.
“Excuse me darling, why is there a cat sitting on your counter?” Nigel jokes with the cashier, smiling when she laughs at his nonsensical question.
“It’s mostly for the tourists,” she laughs, taking the tab from him, “But in Japanese culture we call them ‘maneki-neko’ or ‘beckoning cat.’ They’re supposed to bring good fortune.”
Nigel nods, genuinely intrigued by the explanation.
“I don’t mean to be rude, but is it possible to buy this cat from you?”
The cashier looks at him with a puzzled expression.
“You know you can get these anywhere, right?”
“But they wouldn’t be as lucky as this one,” Nigel argues, placing a few large bills on the counter.
“I appreciate the offer, but you don’t have to give me that much for it.”
“Please darling, it would be selfish of me to take something without paying a fair price for it.”
She looks to Nigel for a final confirmation and shrugs, handing him the cat.
Leaving the restaurant with a renewed sense of confidence, Nigel lights up a victory cigarette on the sidewalk and starts dancing. As he’s admiring his own fancy footwork, Nigel sees a random stranger eyeing him and his cat oddly.
“What the fuck are you staring at?”
They quickly turn around and jog off in the opposite direction.
—
When Darko returns, he finds Nigel sitting on the floor with a bottle of liquor between his legs. They acknowledge each other briefly before he throws his jacket over the chair again.
“What the fuck is that?”
He points to the strange cat sitting next to his beloved Virgin Mary statue.
“I thought you might like it. Supposed to bring good luck and all that, since I keep ruining ours.”
Darko’s once seething anger eventually wanes.
“This is blasphemy, but thank you.”
“Isn’t the fucking Virgin Mary statue blasphemy too?”
“Not when I pray at it,” Darko quips. “And don’t speak on her like that, it’s disrespectful.”
Nigel grins. “How was the club?”
“I went to the poker house. And I lost money, so fuck off.”
“Listen Darko, I have to tell you something. How can I put this…”
His face drops. “What have you done, Nigel?”
“I haven’t done anything. To you.”
“Nigel.”
“You’re the only family that I have and if I can’t be honest with you, then I can’t be honest with anyone.” Nigel takes a deep breath. “The person I was seeing before, it wasn’t a woman.”
“It was a therapist?” Darko surmises with a dramatic gasp.
“What? Are you fucking crazy? No, it was a man.”
Darko’s entire face crumbles. “Are you fucking with me right now?”
Nigel shakes his head.
Realization flashes in Darko’s eyes. “Macaroni man?”
“Yeah.”
Darko sits himself down to process all the new information swirling inside his head.
“Have you always been like this?”
“Like what?”
“Interested in men?”
“He was the first one that made me see it.”
Darko treads the next topic carefully. “You don’t see me that way, do you?”
Nigel instantaneously disintegrates into laughter. “Fuck no!”
“Thank you Virgin Mary,” Darko sighs in relief. “No offense Nigel, but you are my brother.”
“Trust me Darko, there is no offense taken.”
“So why did you break macaroni man’s heart?”
“He was a good kid that got mixed up with a dirty scoundrel.”
“Do you even like this person? Or are you doing all this because you can’t have them?”
“For once it’s not that. I’ll admit it was that way with Gabi towards the end.”
“I know.”
“But it’s not like that with him. His name is Adam—was.”
“Did you fucking kill him too?!” Darko howls in horror.
“No, no! I meant the bastard’s no longer in my fucking life!”
Darko collapses from all the shock he’s absorbed in one day. “What the hell am I going to do with you, Nigel?”
Nigel lies down on his bed on the opposite side of the room and sighs. “You can help me.”
—
Adam returns home after a long day of work and almost faints when he sees a person standing outside his door. Though he curses under his breath, he can’t help but smile a little.
“Can we talk?”
He unlocks the door behind him and Nigel follows.
“I haven’t heard from you in a while. You didn’t call or leave any messages. I kept checking.”
“I figured you didn’t want to hear from me.”
“That’s true.”
Nigel frowns. “I’m sorry, Adam.”
“You quit, just like that. It was so easy for you.”
“Trust me, nothing is easy for me.”
“How can I trust you after what you did?”
“No one is perfect, Adam.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’m a connoisseur of specialty goods: weapons, drugs, and cars. That’s what I really do. No people though.”
Adam’s jaw drops.
“That’s also why I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Are you going to hurt me?”
“I would never hurt you, at least not intentionally.”
“You already did.”
“I can’t promise I won’t hurt you again, Adam. I can only promise I will try my best not to.”
“I spoke to my friend Harlan about you. He said, ‘a man has to learn the difference between just plain liars and liars worth loving.’ But I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.”
Nigel breaks into a million pieces. “Fuck it. I hope you have a nice life, Adam.”
“You didn’t let me finish,” Adam asserts. “I don’t know if I can ever trust you again, but I will also try my best. I can’t predict how I’m going to feel in the future, even though I always think I can. I’ve learned that my feelings change over time.”
Nigel laughs at Adam’s ability to wax poetic yet still sound like an alien from a distant planet. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but fuck. You drive me fucking crazy.”
“I can see the snake eating the elephant, Nigel. I’m not stupid.”
“Darling, you are the furthest thing from stupid I have ever met.”
“I know this is probably a bad idea, but you’re the only person who’s ever tried to understand me. And it felt nice being seen. I didn’t realize how alone I was until you left.”
“A life without you isn’t fucking worth living, Adam.”
“Don’t say things like that, Nigel. I’m glad you’re here. I’m also angry you’re here, but mostly, I’m glad. Harlan reminded me how difficult I can be sometimes and that I need to be more tolerant, though I’m not sure this is what he meant by it.”
Nigel smirks. “Will I ever get to meet this Harlan?”
Adam shrugs.
“I was married once. Her name was Gabi—who is alive and well,” Nigel feels the need to clarify, “She was beautiful and perfect in every way, but I was a monster. Still am. I can’t deny that I have a lot of baggage, Adam. I’m the whole fucking airport.”
“Me too.”
“Then will you do me the honor of meeting my baggage?”
Adam raises an eyebrow in confusion.
—
“I like your cat.” Adam motions to the statue on the nightstand.
“Thank you,” Darko answers awkwardly, trying to move about the cramped apartment space with dignity, “Please excuse the mess, no one told me we were having guests over today. Could I offer you a beer or some uncut blow?”
“No thank you.”
“This kid won’t rat on us, will he?” Darko murmurs to Nigel.
“He’s setting up our digital operation for us and we’ve grown our market share by 300 fucking percent, Darko. I hope you like the smell of money.”
Looking impressed but leery, Darko turns to face Adam. “I don’t know what Nigel told you, but he’s full of shit.”
“I know,” Adam acquiesces, turning two grown Romanian men into hyenas.
Nigel throws an arm around Darko’s neck and declares, “This is my blood. He’s been through thick and thin with me. And Adam, he is my partner, I fucking put him through the wringer too.”
“Darko if I may? I have a proposition,” Adam quietly suggests.
Darko crosses his arms defensively. “I’m listening.”
“What if you kept this apartment for business purposes and stayed somewhere else? I want Nigel and his family to be safe, so I’d like for you both to move in with me. There’s more than enough space. But I do have some rules: No smoking or business inside the apartment, and no strip clubs for Nigel. I’m willing to look past some of his other vices, but I won’t accept infidelity.”
“Is a strip club infidelity, darling? I never touch the women, only look.”
Adam shoots Nigel a dirty glare and Darko doesn’t know whether to laugh or strangle every person in the room.
“You’d get your own bathroom,” Nigel chimes in like the dirtbag salesman he is.
“What the hell is this? The two of you playing husband and husband trying to sell me a timeshare?”
“I haven’t been fucking up as much, right baby?” Nigel embraces Adam and kisses him on the lips, nearly sending Darko into cardiac arrest.
“I’d say you’re about 10% less fucked up these days,” Adam states matter-of-factly.
“Fecioara Maria…”
“He keeps me in check, Darko.”
“And you actually listen?”
“He has his ways.”
“I don’t need to know any more,” Darko objects, shaking his hand in the air, “And I don’t need to see it—or hear it. I’ll eventually get used to whatever the fuck this is, but please, for the love of the Virgin Mary, keep me in the dark.”
“Spend a night and make your decision then. The Virgin Mary is welcome too.”
“Nigel, you’re a fucking clown ass rat bastard,” Darko expresses fondly with a smile.
—
Translations:
*Mănânci căcat = You eat shit/Bullshit (Romanian)
*Vă rog = I ask of you/Please (Romanian)
*Pe dracu! = My ass/Bullshit (Romanian)
*Du-te dracului = Go to hell! (Romanian)
—
Tracklist:
- Labrinth - Yeh I Fuckin' Did It (Euphoria Soundtrack)
- Saweetie - Best Friend (feat. Doja Cat)
- Jay Rock, Kendrick Lamar, Future, James Blake - King's Dead
- SZA- Hit Different x Good Days (Official Acoustic Video)
- Lou Val - Eternal Sunshine