Chapter Text
It’s the third time when things start to get hot and heavy that Eren begins to get suspicious. So far he’d been the only one to orgasm, which was great and all but he wants to give Levi pleasure too. To make Levi feel as good as he did, so the next time Levi’s kisses start to drift downward, a sign that once again Levi is planning on pleasing Eren only, he stops him.
He’s gripping his arm gently, guiding the captain back up, leaning in to kiss him thoroughly as he manoeuvres them around in an attempt to reverse their positions. He’s stopped from moving further by a hand pressed firmly on his chest.
“No.” Comes the short curt answer.
Eren expected it but it still sends a swirl of disappointment curling through him. Sparing a glance at the captain’s crotch Eren notices he doesn’t seem to be hard and wonders if Levi isn’t turned on by him. The disappointment sours into shame and embarrassment to sit heavily in his gut. Guilt pricks at his consciousness as he fears he unintentionally forced Levi into something he didn’t want. Despite that Eren can’t help but feel rejected. Unwanted. Why hadn’t Levi stopped? Or said something? His entire being sags with disappointment and hurt.
“Eren. Whatever you’re thinking, it—it’s not that. Don’t start making shit up without me.” Levi’s speech is a bit stilted and he’s looking away nervously. This catches Eren’s attention. Since when is Captain Levi ever embarrassed or nervous about anything? The man has more commentary and jokes about shit than anyone he’s ever met.
Cocking his head to the side Eren can only look at Levi sitting in front of him, shoulders hunched over, hands folded into his lap looking oddly vulnerable. It feels surreal to Eren to be like this with him. So intimate and quiet.
“Will you tell me what it is?” He finally asks with no small amount of curiosity.
“You’ll only be disappointed.” Levi states plainly.
“You could never disappoint me.” Eren is quick to retort confidently. He knows for a fact that it’s true. He starts to wonder what could have Levi so down and self conscious. His thoughts flit over the idea that he has some sort of deformity. Maybe Levi doesn’t have a dick at all and infact has a vagina? Eren shrugs off both thoughts, it doesn’t matter to him what his parts are. His love is unconditional.
Levi scoffs and looks away, crossing his arms over his chest defensively, “Tch, you’re an idiot.”
“Levi, with all due respect please let me decide? I know how I feel about you and unless you’re cheating on me nothing will change that.”
Slate eyes soften at Eren’s words, “You say that now… but…” Levi’s words turn into a mumble at the end and Eren doesn’t quite catch what it is he says at the end besides the word ‘small.’
“Uh, sorry I didn’t catch that.”
“I have a small cock okay!” Levi shouts in exasperation before turning his face away in self consciousness.
It takes a moment for Levi’s words to sink in, Eren blinking dumbly as he stares at his lovers face, creased with unease.
Oh.
Eren doesn’t wonder how small it is. He doesn’t wonder if anyone else has seen it or if that means he’d be the one on top (if they ever got that far). He doesn’t care. What he cares about is the movement on the bed. The retreating back as Levi climbs off it. He’s leaving. Panic swells and Eren is nearly launching himself off the bed in an attempt to stop him. He can see the walls going up, faded blue looking past him, eyes that are a bit too wet and a bit too shiny dodging his own as he tries to make a connection.
“Eren…” Levi’s voice is scratchy and thick with emotion, wariness lacing his tone.
“Don’t leave.” He pleads, fighting back the clawing desperation, “I don’t—I don’t care about the size of your cock.” He feels Levi stiffen and immediately softens his tone, “What I mean is it doesn’t change who you are or what I feel about you.”
Sliding his hand down Levi’s forearm, Eren tangles their fingers together, rubbing his thumb over the back of his hand. His own panic subsides when the captain squeezes back gently, eyes going soft.
“I love you not your dick. B-but that doesn’t mean I’m uh not interested or anything either.” He blushes furiously at his admission, his own cock swelling at the thought of seeing Levi’s dick. He wants to. He wants to touch, taste, look. He thinks again about how he wants to give Levi the same pleasure he’d already been given several times.
Levi raises an eyebrow, “Don’t be stupid. I can’t do anything with this.” He gestures ambiguously to his crotch.
“Um…but what if I wanted to…?” Eren asks sheepishly.
“Want to what?”
Eren takes the moment to pull Levi back to the bed. He goes willingly, letting Eren direct him into lying on bed. Although willing, his movements are stiff and riddled with hesitation and guardedness. Eren understands. Leaning down he kisses Levi softly, hands coming up to brush silky black hair back before scratching into his undercut. Immediately Levi seems to relax into the touch, fingers clutching the sleeves of Eren’s shirt like a lifeline.
“Can I look at you? I want to.”
Leaning back, Levi lays his forearm across his face, covering his eyes and nods, “Yeah. Okay.”
Nervously Eren reaches for the button and zipper of his pants, shaking hands fumbling in their task. With a quiet but slightly exasperated sigh Levi reaches down, making quick work of the barriers before helping Eren drag his pants and boxers off, leaving him bare. Eren’s careful not to make any facial expression, not that it’s hard. All he sees is beautiful, scarred Levi laid out infront of him. Levi showing him the most secret, most vulnerable parts of himself. All he feels is quiet awe as his heart pounds against his chest.
Levi’s cock is small, uncircumcised the pink tip poking out from the darker, looser flesh of his foreskin where it’s pillowed against his balls. Eren sucks back the mouthful of saliva he hadn’t realised was forming before looking back up at Levi. Pale stormy eyes watch him carefully, nervousness shadowing their usual hardness.
Swallowing his own nervousness Eren asks, “Can I touch you?” He thinks he sees the currently flaccid cock twitch in interest at his question and Levi nods again, still hiding behind his arm. Eren wants to see Levi’s face, but he also understands his apprehension and shyness. He won’t push, instead settling on using words.
“You’re beautiful.” He breathes as he reaches out, dragging the pads of his fingers over the soft wrinkled flesh of Levi’s cock.
“Eren don’t—”
“it’s the truth. That’s all it is Levi.” He shifts his touch, using his thumb and his index he rubs them up and down the rapidly burgeoning length. While it doesn’t get much bigger, precome is oozing steadily and Levi’s breathing quickens and Eren wants more.
“I want to taste.” Levi’s eyes squeeze shut at the statement and he bites his lip, nodding with more enthusiasm than before as he lets his legs fall open.
Eren doesn’t hesitate, swooping down to lick across the dripping red head. Levi shouts, hands flying up to cover his mouth immediately in surprise, but Eren doesn’t stop. Taking Levi’s whole length into his mouth with ease he uses a free hand to cup and rub his balls. Rubbing his tongue along his length Eren tugs and licks at his foreskin, loving how perfectly he fits in his mouth. How he’s able to suck and pleasure his entire cock with all the enthusiasm he could muster. He savours the clean musky taste of Levi’s sex, lapping up the honey the steadily flows down his throat. Eren’s losing himself in the delicious sounds that Levi is making. Reveling in the way the hot velvety flesh feels on his tongue and the precome as it coats his mouth. Fingers in his hair drag Eren’s attention back up to Levi. His chest is heaving, fingers combing Eren’s hair back from his face as he looks at him, his eyes blown black with lust.
“I’m gonna come.” He pants.
Eren wants it. He slobbers excessively over the cock in his mouth, working his tongue double time along the heated skin as he continues to massage and fondle his balls.
“Ah— Fuck!”
Levi’s shout is Eren’s cue as hot come hits the roof of his mouth and he’s quickly shifting to swallow it down. Levi jerks and shakes with his orgasm as Eren swallows down everything he’s being given ardently. When his climax finally tapers off and Eren’s hasn’t removed his mouth Levi stares at him questioningly.
Looking away sheepishly he releases the softening cock with a soft popping sound as he sucks off the excess come in the process, “I… I like the way you feel in my mouth.” He admits, his face heating up.
Rolling his eyes, Levi looks away, a shadow suddenly falling over his expression. Eren wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, using the other rub soothingly along his thigh.
‘What’s wrong?” Concern colours his thoughts and words. He had assumed he’d made his feelings clear and that Levi was happy. Doubt starts to creep in.
“I’m sorry I’m not as strong as you want me to be.” Levi whispers.
Eren’s eyebrows knit together as he tries to understand, “huh?”
Again Levi gestures vaguely to his groin and Eren thinks he might get the hint, “I don’t really understand why you think these things are related but they’re not.” He states as a matter of factly. Worried Levi doesn’t believe him Eren brings his hands up to cup a face still pink from their activities, thumbs brushing gently along his cheekbones. Green seek out dusty blue and Eren is relieved to see the doubt is gone, replaced by what he could only describe as affection.
“You’ll always be the strongest person I’ve ever met.” Placing a hand on Levi’s chest, Eren can feel how fast his heart is beating, “Your strength is what keeps me going. I love you Levi.”
His thumb brushes away a stray tear as Levi pulls in a deep breath to respond.
“I love you too.”