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For one week Starscream had been off-duty, and absent from all command stations.
For one week, Megatron's ability to focus had returned to the levels of which Soundwave hadn't witnessed from him since the earliest days of the war. For one week, the Autobots had been cowering from an onslaught of Decepticon brilliance. For one week, a victory that would change the course of their millennia-long war had been within sight.
For one week, things were at there best. As they could have been from the very start. If not for that unshakable, viperous, pest of an Air Commander.
That morning, Soundwave perused the base-wide communications; slipping into his comrades' encrypted messages as easily as he might flick through a Rolodex. One communication thread between Hook and Megatron himself caught his optic; a Return To Active Duty request form, tagged with Starscream's unit number.
Soundwave exhaled softly, disappointment threatening to cripple his morning productivity. He was tempted to open the communication and see for himself what had downed the nigh-indestructible menace that was the Second In Command, if only so he might know how better to kill him in future, but he would not sift through Megatron's comm messages. Even if only Starscream's privacy was at stake.
At any rate, Soundwave was not concerned with the Air Commander's return. Megatron was a new mech -or rather, he was the old one he had been before Vosian harlots seduced their way into high command- and there was every chance a detoxified, level-headed Megatron would now see Starscream's buffoonery for what it was.
Soundwave proceeded with the day as planned.
Because, after a great many weeks of reconnaissance, he and Megatron had finally devised their plan for a raid on 'Pickering Nuclear' in Ontario- a power station they had been watching for some time.
Through trial and error they had found that crossing human-made borders -as meaningless as they supposedly were- slowed the Autobots down. But only the ground based Autobots. With Prime capable of scrambling his Aerialbots within just ten minutes of humans detecting Decepticon soldiers in their airspace, the seekers wouldn't be left with time enough to make a decent assault on the power station before Superion was breathing down their wings. And seekers alone couldn't hope to fend off a combiner.
Ordinarily in this situation Megatron might have come up with some lazy, half-thought plot to turn the seekers themselves into a combiner. With the deranged variation within the seekers' high-strung personalities, Soundwave could only imagine what sort of disaster that would have resulted in.
But with meticulous planning, a Starscream-free space, and Ravage's hard work, they had found themselves an opening to launch the attack. The Aerialbots were due to perform in some inane air show for their human allies. It wouldn't prevent Superion from making an appearance at the raid site indefinitely, but it would greatly delay his arrival. And might give the seeker's just enough time to get in and out, arms full of energon. With no casualties.
The plan had been signed off on three days ago, and today the seekers were due to deploy. It was just a matter of waiting for Ravage's signal...
Soundwave reported directly to the command centre, where Megatron would be waiting. He stepped through the doors as they opened, and came to an awkward halt in the middle of the spacious room when he found his view of the main console blocked by two white wings.
Hands clasped behind his back, Starscream turned to glance at him. He was standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Megatron. Close. Too close.
"Oh," his oily voice sneered. "Look who's finally joined us..."
Soundwave's mood swooped to previously forgotten depths.
"Starscream." He intoned, his vocaliser incapable of the inflection required to broadcast the full extent of his dislike. "Airforce deployment; eminent."
"Starscream will remain here, Soundwave," Megatron interjected smoothly, tilting his head down -not to look back at Soundwave- but to stare fondly at the smirking seeker next to him. "His insight will be invaluable."
Starscream's wings shifted, lifting with a happy little flutter. Megatron's optics followed the movement. This was... unfortunate.
Soundwave dared not delve into his leader's thoughts, but he could sense Megatron's mind slowing, the cogs tripping and jamming with whatever sludge Starscream's toxic presence was pouring into them.
Before he could tactfully compose a better suggestion that Starscream actually lead his airforce in person, Ravage's signal came through. The Aerialbots were beginning their performance.
He stepped forward. "It is time."
Megatron went to lift his comm to broadcast the order when Starscream's hand caught his wrist. Megatron stopped. Soundwave was overcome with the sudden urge to stride over and break the seeker's arm.
"Is this really what you've reduced us to?" Starscream challenged Megatron. "Waiting for distractions instead of just creating them yourself?"
"Starscream; adept at distractions," Soundwave pointed out.
"The plan is sound," Megatron deflected the seeker's criticism, trying to take his wrist back.
Starscream held firm. "So you want to sneak in, tail between your legs, hoping the Autobots won't catch on until we're clear? Where's the fun in that?"
"Fun is not a requirement of a successful war campaign." Soundwave stated loudly, very aware of the ticking clock. Every moment they were wasting here meant lost energon. And an ever increasing likelihood of injuries. The seekers were still in the elevator, waiting for the order to deploy.
"Soundwave is correct," Megatron growled. "This isn't about 'fun'. You know why we need this energy, now more than ever-"
Starscream scoffed in disgust.
"Well that's not the Megatron I know," he sneered, dropping his hand away from their leader. "This war isn't being fought for energy, it's being fought for domination." He looked Megatron up and down, judgement sparking in his optics. "You've become less of a leader every day we've spend on this planet; forced to squat down here in a shipwreck, pilfering fuel off insects ...now you won't even face the Autobots? Won't face Prime?"
It was Megatron who snatched Starscream's wrist this time, his optics flaring, teeth bared. "You have some nerve calling me a coward-"
"I never said 'coward',' Starscream hissed, leaning in.
The air was thick with tension. The figurative scales suspended in that dreadful place between violence and passion -right where Starscream wanted it. Where Megatron would be most susceptible to his manipulations. It made Soundwave's armour crawl.
The situation was derailing rapidly. Their window was closing. Megatron's resolve was waning.
"Suggestion," Soundwave attempted to step in.
Megatron flung out an arm and pushed him back. But it had done the trick. Megatron was leaning away from the seeker's smirking visage with a grimace.
"Thank you, Starscream, for reminding me what a deadweight you are," Megatron growled. He turned to Soundwave, opening his mouth to give an order the telepath could already hear echoing through his mind. "Soundwave, you may-"
"Deadweight?!" Starscream's voice pitched up into that terrible squawk. "Is that supposed to be some kind of threat?"
Megatron attention snapped back to the seeker.
"It's a promise," Megatron's optics flashed, his processor lighting up with emotion.
Soundwave considered just getting it over with and shooting Starscream himself if Megatron wasn't going to.
"You haven't the bearings to cast me aside, you pathetic old has-been!" Starscream challenged, wings spiked on his back.
"Megatron." Soundwave tried. "The seekers-"
"Yes, Megatron," Starscream hissed, nose brushing his leader's now. "Don't forget about this cowardly little smash-and-grab you have planned on my account. Wouldn't want Prime to catch you with your fingers in the-"
Soundwave might have been thankful for anything that was capable of shutting Starscream up. But not when the thing in question was Megatron's own mouth, smashing into it with thoughtless passion. They collided like mechanimals, armour clattering, hands grasping, limbs twined, and there was some confusion as to whether they were attacking each other or-
Starscream slammed Megatron back against the main computer screen. The glass cracked and the screen distorted. The seeker flung his arms around their leader's neck and then Megaton's hands were on his aft and...
Ravage pinged Soundwave. The Aerialbot's air display was coming to an end. The window had closed.
Soundwave looked up at the crash and bang of Starscream and Megatron tumbling to the decking in front of the monitor bank, broken glass crunching beneath their frames, writhing and grinding and undulating against each other like an Insecticon hive in a breeding frenzy.
He turned around and left.
The situation did not improve. Megatron was again ...lost to him.
He showed up to less than half the briefings Soundwave had scheduled, and was distant and absentminded in those he did. They were more productive than those meetings with Starscream actually present though. At least they lasted more than five minutes before deteriorating into violent screaming matches that only ended when Megatron threw everyone from the room and then proceeded to... break furniture with his Second in Command.
Soundwave sometimes thought of killing Starscream. Everyone would benefit from it. But Megatron was too fond of hating him, and much like with Optimus Prime, no one was allowed the satisfaction of killing Starscream but Megatron himself.
Soundwave was sure a good psychiatrist would have a field day with that.
But he wasn't in high command to psychoanalyse Megatron, nor did he exist to have any input in Megatron's colourful personal life, no matter how deeply it seemed entwined with the war effort.
So, he could not kill Starscream. Nor could he openly meddle in the private affairs of his leader. But the week the two of them had spent apart had shown Soundwave the potential of a Starscream-free Decepticon faction. And he ached to make it a reality.
Starscream's absence from duty had grounded the seeker and left him confined to quarters, and though Soundwave knew Megatron and Starscream had still been in contact during that time -still bickering with and goading one another through memos and communications- they had not been physical. And Megatron had been competent.
It was all the evidence Soundwave needed to prove the interfacing was what turned Megatron's brilliant mind to shrapnel.
But there was little way of preventing that from continuing to occur. Short of slapping a chastity lock on Starscream's pelvic armour, he couldn't...
Soundwave lowered his security reports, thoughtful.
That wasn't a bad idea, actually.
Starscream sat on the edge of the oil-stained metal slab the Constructicons used for their little projects, his thighs open and his pelvic plating on view. Scrapper was staring at the closed panel thoughtfully, stroking his chin, while Hook studied his diagnostic readouts.
"It's malware," was Hook's eventual verdict.
"What?!" Starscream demanded. "How?!"
"How should I know?" Hook set his hands on his hips judgementally. "You've obviously not been scanning for virus' before opening attachments."
"Ugh," Starscream made a childish noise of disgust, throwing back his helm. "Isn't that Soundwave's job?!"
"Things slip through, Screamer, everyone knows that," Scrapper muttered, still eyeing the panel presently locked down by the strangely specific piece of malicious software. "Can't you just open it manually?"
"You think I haven't tried?!" Starscream fumed.
"You're probably not pressing hard enough, here," Scrapper reached for it himself. Starscream's foot collided with his face an instant later. The clang echoed through the work room.
"If Megatron couldn't get it open what hope do you think you have!" Starscream snarled.
"It won't open, even manually," Hook said absently, still reading the diagnostics. "Looks kinda like someone's updated the old chastity software they used to install in younger mecha in the northern polities..."
"Can you remove it?" Starscream demanded, shifting impatiently.
"It'll take me a couple hours-" Hook began.
"Fine," Starscream pushed himself off the metal slab.
"I need you here for that," Hook reminded him pointedly.
"I know," Starscream muttered, already moving towards the doors. "But there are other duties that require my immediate attention. I'll be back to have it removed tonight."
Before Hook could question what was more important than his health (mostly because he didn't want to have to stay late and work on the seeker during his off-shift) the medbay doors swept open to reveal their high commander pacing the corridor on the other side.
"Well?" He demanded, swooping down on Starscream. "Did they get it open?"
"No, they didn't get it open!" Starscream elbowed him out of the way. "Let's go-"
"Go?!" Megatron appeared flustered, "Starscream, your panel is locked down tighter than a Praxian nun's, how on Cybertron do you imagine I'm going to be able to-"
"The other panel still opens fine, Megatron," the seeker snarled, grabbing him by the chest plate and hauling down the corridor.
Hook looked back over at Scrapper, who was rubbing at the foot-shaped scuff the seeker had left across his face. "They better be careful, because I'm not staying up all night fixing Screamer's exhaust port too."
The Decepticon's raided a solar farm just two days later and Soundwave was shot through the shoulder by the Autobot Bluestreak whilst Starscream had supposedly been covering him, Megatron's alt-mode in hand.
The raid had been a disaster -seven injured and no energon harvested- so Soundwave wasn't the only Decepticon requiring repairs. Whilst he waited for someone to patch the leaking hole in his shoulder, he reviewed some of the footage from the solar farm. As luck would have it, aerial footage from Lazerbeak showed the moment he had been injured in unforgivingly high-definition.
He watched himself run out from behind a collapsing pillar, rushing across the battlefield to reach a better vantage point. And he watched Starscream, armed with Megatron, disregard their strategy and his role in leading the attack, in favour of doing unspeakable things to Megatron's gun-mode. While less than a hundred metres away Soundwave had laid bleeding in the mud.
Soundwave closed down the footage, and attempted to summon some semblance of calm.
"Hook," he intoned to the medic working on a legless patient one berth over. "Soundwave; requires your assistance. And your discretion."
The medic straightened up, intrigued, "My discretion doesn't come cheap." He said, wiping off his hands.
That came as no surprise to Soundwave.
"Diseased?!" Starscream howled, more than loud enough for Soundwave to hear on the other side of the command centre. "I'll show you diseased, you hack-"
Soundwave looked up in time to see Megatron catch Starscream's fist before it made contact with Hook's face. Then let go of it suddenly, as if burned. He took a step away for good measure. Starscream shot him an impatient look. "Megatron!"
"What manner of ailment does he have?" Megatron asked, ignoring his second's indignant whine.
"I don't have any ailment!" Starscream shouted, stamping a foot, "If there was something wrong with me he would have seen it during the three hours it took him to get rid of that ridiculous malware! He's barely qualified enough to diagnosis a flat tire as it is-!"
"I have it right here, in those results," Hook spoke over him, brandishing the medical report Soundwave had falsified, doing a commendably convincing as the 'concerned medic'. "You're harbouring internal rust. And it's contagious."
Megatron took another cautious step aside. "How contagious?"
"Megatron," Starscream was sounding more fraught now.
"Very." Hook was nodding.
"I haven't got rust!" Starscream roared, squaring up to Hook like he was going to physically attack him, weapons forgotten. "Is this some kind of joke?! Did Skywarp put you up to this?! Did he?!"
"With medicated fuel it should clear up in just a matter of months-" Hook began to shrink behind his data-pad, using it as a shield to protect against the enraged seeker.
"Months?!"
Yes, months, Soundwave thought to himself with satisfaction. Plenty of time to get the war effort back on track. To convince Megatron that the seeker really wasn't worth having around. To maybe even find Megatron a new, healthier outlet than Starscream's poisonous clutches for all the frustrations of war.
"If I have rust, so does he!" Starscream thrust a condemning finger at Megatron, colour starting to fill his cheeks.
Megatron frowned, "Excuse me?"
"If this imaginary ailment is as contagious as you say then there's no way he doesn't have it too," Starscream wagged his pointed finger at Hook. "How does it spread?"
Hook stuttered, "It, uh, close contact-"
"Close contact. Like interfacing?" Starscream demanded.
"You can't get much closer than an interface," Hook grumbled reluctantly.
"Then you ought to run his diagnostics too," Starscream glared at Megatron's unhappy face. "He's probably where I got it."
Megatron's armour heckled, "Care to repeat that, seeker?"
"Megatron doesn't have it," Hook tried to solider on and stick to the script. "And to stop it spreading, I ask that you refrain from close contact of any kind with anyone else, Starscream. Until this clears up."
Starscream looked on the verge of blowing a gasket, and for a moment Soundwave thought he was about to become indirectly responsible for the Constructicon's death at the seeker's hands. But it was Megatron who stepped in front of his second to loom threateningly over Hook, pointing one massive finger down at the medical report. "Check it again."
Hook blinked, "I- there was no mistake-"
"Check it, again." Megatron's rasping voice lowered a full octave.
Megatron's protectiveness was unexpected. Soundwave had not planned for this.
Hook's armour rattled with the full body shiver than ran through him. Soundwave saw him swallow before answering with a meek, "Yes, sir," and duck his head to view the data-pad again.
Across the command centre, Hook's optics darted briefly in Soundwave's direction in a wordless apology. As much as Soundwave tried to stare Hook down, he couldn't hope to compete with the sheer menace of Megatron.
After an appropriate pause, Hook brightened with false cheer, "Um, oh! Look at this, a smudge on the data-pad," he wiped away the imaginary mark with a smile. "I- you don't have rust after all."
Megatron and Starscream stared down at him, silent and dangerous.
"Everyone makes mistakes," Hook tried, fingers flexing around the edges of the data-pad. "I-"
"Get out." Megatron ordered.
Hook spun on his heel and all but fled for the doors.
Soundwave dropped his gaze to his work, struggling to focus past his own mounting frustration.
Across the room from him, he heard Starscream chuckle as Megatron sat in the command chair and pulled him into his lap. Megatron audibly purred, and there was a creak and scrape of metal on metal as someone rolled their hips.
Soundwave scrolled down his report to mark it as 'complete' as quickly as he could, firing off a message to Hook as he closed down the monitor to the sound of his superiors kissing passionately in the background.
Disappointing performance. Full refund expected before the end of your shift.
Infuriatingly, Hook replied. You're paying for my silence, unless you want Screamer to know who was behind that 'prank'?
Soundwave slunk out of the command centre, muting his audials so Starscream's breathless mewls wouldn't bounce around his processor for the next ten hours. Now even the gestalts were getting the better of him.
Soundwave was still concocting his next plan for improving Decepticon efficiency (unofficially known as his personal quest to prioritise the success of their war campaign above Starscream's valve in Megatron's mind) when a higher power took unexpected pity on him.
Starscream was taken off-duty. Again.
Strange. There had been no run-ins with enemy forces and no reported infighting to speak off. Megatron had made no mention of any assassination attempts, and there were no files indicating that Starscream had come down with an ailment -a real one this time.
Megatron stepped back into the role of a competent and dedicated leader almost instantaneously, planning raids late into the night and pouring over intelligence reports. Soundwave didn't want to be sucked into a false sense of security again, because Starscream would be back, soon, and his chaotic reappearance would doubtlessly make everything achieved during his brief absence moot.
Unless... Soundwave made better use of Starscream's absence this time, and unhooked those claws the seeker had left imbedded in their leader's brain once and for all.
Soundwave placed a data-pad next to Megatron's arm. His leader glanced away from the holographic projection of a building layout he was focused on- their next raid target. "What is it?"
"Bi-weekly productivity briefing," Soundwave stated. "Recommended reading."
Megatron exhaled through his olfactory. "It can wait. We need to move on this target before the end of the week."
Soundwave was well aware of what they needed to do. They were short on energon, and it was almost entirely the fault of Starscream's distractions. He loitered beside Megatron insistently, until his leader sighed and waved him on impatiently.
"Summarise it for me."
Soundwave was happy to. "Productivity; up twenty five percent on the week. Insubordination; down. Troop morale-"
"Just get to why," Megatron snapped, still studying the building projection.
Soundwave paused for maximum effect. "Starscream; off active duty."
It didn't have the effect he had hoped it would. Megatron's mouth pressed into a hard thin line. He grunted, spinning the projection with a finger to study the lower levels of the power station. "Well then of course productivity has improved..."
Soundwave stared down at Megatron. There was nothing for it. He was just going to have to come out and say it. "Starscream: detrimental to the cause."
"I know," Megatron chuckled humourlessly, "and it's not going to get any less 'detrimental' after he's had the blasted sparklings."
Soundwave was about to make his next point about Starscream's poor attitude and bad influence provoking at least seventy percent of all Decepticon infighting -when Megatron's words bounced back through his processor and caused something to trip.
For a moment, Soundwave's mind was blissfully void of all thought, all emotion, numbed by the ridiculousness of everything. Then it hit. And the ramifications made it difficult to remain upright.
He dropped into the seat next to Megatron heavily. "...No."
"Yes," Megatron said simply, zooming out of the hologram so he could see the power station's surrounding landscape, completely unbothered by his friends reaction. "He's been hit with another unfortunate bout of nausea. I am told such things are common for seekers."
There was no getting rid of Starscream, Soundwave realised. He was going to be a permanent fixture in Megatron's life, and regardless of performance, a permanent fixture within their faction. Forever.
He had been beaten. Starscream had won.
"There are no medical records regarding Starscream's carriage," Soundwave realised distantly.
"I have my doubts as to how helpful Hook would be in such a situation," Megatron admitted casually. "Starscream's trine, though reluctant, are more than capable of seeing to his needs throughout this ...ordeal."
'Ordeal' was an interesting word to describe a carriage. Perhaps Starscream was struggling more than the average mech. Megatron had just mentioned nausea.
"Starscream's carriage; responsible for previous absences?" Soundwave enquired.
Megatron nodded, drawing holographic lines on the building projection. "It has made him deeply unpleasant to be around..." He muttered. "He can't keep anything down. Won't leave his berth. Refuses to let me touch him... I found him sobbing in the wash-racks not two nights ago because the smell of his favourite polish had become unbearable to him."
Soundwave's mood was beginning to improve. "Remaining gestation time?"
Megatron looked towards the ceiling, counting the days in his head, "...Another eight luna cycles."
Soundwave was glad to be wearing a mask, so Megatron wouldn't see him smile as he feigned sympathy, "Starscream's symptoms; likely to persist throughout his carriage?"
"His trine seem to think so," Megatron murmured, refocusing on his work.
"Unfortunate." Soundwave intoned, already considering the many things that may involuntarily exacerbate Starscream's delicate condition.
Because it would be a great shame if the seeker were bedridden with excessive nausea for the entirety of those eight remaining months.