Chapter Text
As Armin slowly opened up his eyes, he could hear all the commotion coming from down the hallway. The harsh whispers of his boyfriend Jean, and best friend, Eren filling the silence that Armin found himself blissfully sleeping in not so long ago.
“Shut the fuck up, do you want to wake Armin up?”
“This is all your fault! If you hadn’t broke my glasses-“
“Wha-! My fault?! You are the one decided to fucking-“
“Shut up! Armin will hear us, and he will kill us.”
Armin lifted up his head from the pillow, wondering why they thought he was going to kill them. He glanced over to his alarm clock, noting that it is 2:43AM. He reluctantly got up from his bed, quietly slipping on his slippers and throwing one of Jean’s hoodies over himself. The harsh whispers and occasional shared harsh words had stopped now, or at least quiet downed. Armin slowly opened up his bedroom door, walking down the hallway softly and into the living room where he was met with two very suspicious looking people.
“Okay this is really bad. You really fucked us over here, Eren. We are going to need to change our names and-Oh hi babe!” Jean rambled on, talking about plans with Eren until he noticed his very tired boyfriend standing at the end of the hallway, his arms crossed against his chest and his head tilted to the side. Eren turned and looked at Armin, a grin on his face but still looked quite anxious.
“Oh hey Armin.” Eren said, standing in front of something so Armin couldn’t see it. Jean quickly noticed this and followed to copy what Eren did.
‘They clearly don’t want me to see something’ Armin thought to himself.
“So are you guys going to tell me how you have fucked up or am I going to have the police knocking on my door again?” Armin asked, undoing his folded arms and now placing both hands onto his hips.
“What? I have no idea what you are talking about. Right, Jean?” Eren laughed it off, elbowing Jean in the ribs who laughed with him.
Armin sighs and rubs a hand down his face, what the two idiots in front of Armin seem to forget is that he has known them all of his life. He knows when they are lying before they even get the chance too.
“Jean, babe?” Armin sweetly said, looking at his boyfriend and smiling.
“Y-yes?” Armin watched Jean’s facial expression change from fake smiling to absolute fear.
‘Good.’ Armin thought to himself.
“Unless you want me to go celibate,” Jean gasped loudly, “You better tell me what you little shits have been up too.”
Armin watched as his boyfriend looked at Eren- who already knew that as soon as Armin called Jean ‘babe’, their terrible mistake was going to be known- sighed loudly.
Jean was the first to move away from the thing that they were hiding, and Armin looked more confused than ever. It was a bike? Though the bike looked like it was slightly leaning forward, he still couldn’t quite understand why they were hiding it. That was until Eren shifted his body to the side and Armin could see the real reason why they looked so scared.
“Holy fuck..” Armin whispered, looking at the mess.
Izzy, the cat that lives with Eren and his boyfriend was covered in a towel was drinking milk from the bowl on the floor, purring every so often. Still, Armin couldn’t understand why they looked so guilty.
“Is that-“
“Yeah, it is.” Eren sheepishly said, scratching the back of his head and looking down at the floor.
“I still don’t understand what you guys are-“ Before Armin could finish off his sentence, Jean pulled the towel off Izzy and Armin caught his own breath in his throat. Izzy.. was not white anymore. She was pink, hot fucking pink.
“How on earth-what the fuck- Jean! Eren! What the hell happened?!” Armin yelled, rushing over to them both and pointing at the wreck in front of him.
“This suicidal bastard over here, “ Jean bit out before pointing over at an anxious Eren, “Thought he was using the pink shampoo from the Vet’s for Izzy but he put the bottle next to his paint bottle and he wasn’t wearing his glasses.”
“Eren, why?!” Armin asked, crossing his arms and looking very disappointed at Eren.
Eren ran a hand through his tangled hair and groaned loudly.
“Because-because-I was trying to help out, okay!” Eren gritted out, sitting down onto the table and crossing his arms like a child who is getting told off.
“I can’t believe you helped him with this.” Armin turned to his boyfriend who held up his arms and scoffed.
“I didn’t do anything! Eren called me and told me that he was in a ‘life or death’ situation. Believe it or not, even though he is the biggest fuck-tard going. I’m not going to let him die.” Jean admitted. Eren lifted up his head from looking down at the floor and smiled at Jean.
“Bro, that was so kind.”
“You are my bro, can’t let you die man.”
“Bro..”
“Guys!”, Armin lifted up his arms and yelled, pulling both Eren and Jean out of their little ‘bromance’ moment before it got too much, “What the hell are we going to do? Levi loves Izzy! He literally dotes on her everyday at work! Now his cat is fucking pink! Oh fuck, Eren. You are dead.”
Eren covered his mouth, the realisation hitting him. Armin went over to the now pink cat and picked up her up, stroking her and feeling her purr against his neck
“Well, I’m assuming since you are alive, Eren. Levi is on another business trip?” Armin asked, the cat nuzzling herself into his neck.
“Yeah. He won’t be back until the morning.” Eren answered, biting at his nails.
“Have you tried washing it out?” Armin asked once more, going over to his couch and Jean following shortly behind him. Once Armin parked himself down on the couch, Jean curled himself up next to him, stroking Izzy’s back too. Eren came over and sighed loudly, parking himself down on the chair across from the couch.
“I’ve tried everything Armin. I might do what Raven did.”
“Raven?”
“You know, that episode where she got her dad to make the dog a jacket that she accidentally turned pink.” Eren explained, both Armin and Jean shook their heads. Only Eren would reference Disney channel moments in situations like this.
“Or you could tell Levi the truth?” Jean said, rubbing at his eyes that were almost shut with how tired he was. Eren gasped loudly and shook his head violently.
“I can’t. I just..if he finds out..NO! I can’t, he will fucking kill me. Do you guys want that? You want blood on both of your hands?” Armin knew that Eren could be dramatic, but never thought he would go this far.
“I mean if it would help me go to sleep a little faster..” Jean mumbled to himself, only Armin could hear what he whispered. Armin lightly nudged Jean and grinned at him.
“Oi,” Eren said, pointing at both of them, “Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“Doing that. ” Eren pointed at them both and pouted. Armin rolled his eyes and Izzy purred against his neck again.
“What the fuck am I going to do?” Eren asked, throwing his head back and sighing so loud that Armin’s neighbours probably heard him.
“I have no clue.” Armin said, trying to sound reassuring but he knew that Eren was a dead man.
Levi Ackerman, the boss, the man himself was not someone to be messed with. It surprised Jean and Armin when Ackerman had asked Eren out on a coffee date, after Eren accidentally bumped into him when he was waiting for Armin outside of work and made Levi spill his coffee everywhere. However, Armin had only ever seen his soft side when Levi spoke about his white cat, Izzy. Levi loved Izzy more than anything and would often threaten violence if someone messed with Izzy in anyway.
“Can I stay here with you guys tonight? I don’t want to be alone when Levi comes back to his apartment.” Eren asked, smiling at his two very tired looking friends.
“Sure.” Armin eventually said, getting up from the couch and placing Izzy on it. She began nuzzling at his hand and giggled softly at it.
Jean and Armin walked over to their shared bedroom and took off their clothes, both of them liked to sleep somewhat bare because the heating of the apartment was a temperamental bitch, and jumped into bed together. Armin snuggled up to Jean, positioning himself underneath Jean’s arm and feeling Jean wrap his arm around him.
“What are we going to do?” Jean whispered, letting a yawn slip through. Armin shrugged his shoulders and closed his eyes, wishing that the morning wouldn’t come.
-the next morning.-
Armin opened up his eyes slowly, getting himself together while pulling himself up from his bed. He stretched out his arms and let out a huge yawn, feeling his bone crack as he did so. He rubbed at one of his eyes and noticed that Jean wasn’t in the bed anymore, he rotated his head to side slightly and took note of the time on his clock. It was 11:56AM. Armin sighed and got up, throwing on the hoodie that Jean had on last night.
Once he got out of his bedroom, he went into the bathroom, brushing his teeth and going for his morning piss. Armin was grateful that today was his day off from work so he could just chill and play games all day with his boyfriend. As Armin finished up in the bathroom, he could hear what sounded like panic noises from the living room. At first thought, Armin got scared, hearing the panicking but then he realised that Eren had screwed up last night and was probably doing his usual dramatic act.
“What’s going on?” Armin asked, rubbing his still very tired eyes as he walked into the living room. The sight before him was something that he thought he would never see.
Eren was standing at his window in the living room, the door to the window being wide open while Jean had hold of his jacket. Eren looked like he was about to jump and Jean looked fed up.
“...Do I want to know?” Armin asked, walking over to the kitchen and switching on the coffee maker.
“Your best friend is trying to kill himself.” Jean replied, pulling harshly on Eren’s jacket which made Eren come falling backwards, straight onto his ass. Armin watched and laughed as his best friend hissed in pain. Jean couldn’t help but smirk at the situation, while Eren let out a long list of curse words.
“You fucking horse face looking ass!” Eren got up and rubbed at his ass. Jean rolled his eyes and locked the window, taking the key out of it so Eren wouldn’t try to kill himself.
“It’s not like your ass isn’t used to hurting.” Jean winked at Eren, walking over to his boyfriend who shook his head and pulled a disgusted face.
“Fuck you! I’ll have you know, I’m a top.” Eren boldly said, before putting his hand over his mouth and blushing hard. Armin stopped pouring his coffee while Jean let out a gasp. Armin put his cup down and laughed.
“I fucking knew it! You owe me $50!” Armin let out a victorious cry, jumping up and down while pointing at his boyfriend and letting his tongue stick out. Jean groaned and Eren looked flustered, but then his face turned from utter embarrassment to confusion.
“You..you guys had a bet to see if I was top or bottom?!” Eren began ranting, turning to Jean and pointing, “And you thought I was a bottom?!”
“Look, in my defence, you’ve given me nothing but bottom energy.” Jean held up his arms in defeat, while Eren glared at him and Armin laughed freely. Armin picked up his coffee cup and began drinking it, looking down at the hot pink cat who was nuzzling herself on his ankle. Armin sighed and realised why Eren was trying to ‘kill’ himself.
“I take it that Levi called you this morning to let you know he was on his way home.” Armin asked, leaning down and picking up Izzy so she could roam freely on the island in the middle of the kitchen. Jean made his way over to Armin and wrapped an arm lazily around his waist, pulling him close. Armin loved tired Jean, who just simply craved his attention and constant need to be near him.
“Yeah, “ Eren began, “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I didn’t answer the call but he left a voiceMail saying that he would be home at like 12:30.” Armin looked at his watch and noted that the time was now 12:12pm, meaning that Levi would be calling Eren soon and Armin was about to witness a murder.
“What are you going to do?”
“Me and Jean have come up with an idea.” Eren said, crossing his arms against his chest. Armin looked down at his very tired boyfriend who slowly nodded his head.
“We are going to change our names and move out of the country. Sasha knows someone who can get us fake IDs and Hanji said they have connections in Italy.” Eren explained, looking quite proud of himself while Armin scoffed and rolled his eyes.
“Okay, for one, Jean is not going anywhere, “ Armin began, pointing at his boyfriend while Eren pouted, “Two, Levi is going to notice that Izzy isn’t in his apartment as soon as he gets in there. You need to think of something before Levi comes back and calls you.”
Eren threw himself on the floor, whining and kicking his legs while Izzy looked over at him, and slowly padded her way over to the over dramatic man child on the floor.
Armin and Jean looked at each other, then back at Eren who now had Izzy on his chest while he told her that he had always loved her, and will never forget about her when he is in Italy. He even promised to send her postcards. Armin sighed and looked back at the clock, seeing that Eren only had 10 minutes left of freedom before he came to an early death.
“Hey Eren, “ Jean called out, looking at his phone.
“What.”
“What are your favourite flowers?”
“Why?” Eren lifted up his head, sharing the same confused expression as Armin.
“We can get a discount on this casket if you choose a certain flower, you have three options-“
“Fuck you!”