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Wade hadn’t been to visit Vanessa more than once since her death. It had been too painful. He was immortal. Going to a cemetery only reminded him that everyone he knows and loves would be there one day, and he couldn’t join them. But when WHAM! came on in the shopping centre whilst he was buying obscene amounts of maple syrup, he thought it was a sign.
It was late evening and the sun about to set when Wade trudged through light snow to Vanessa’s headstone. What surprised him was that he was not the only one who decided to visit a loved one today despite it being cold as fuck and miserable outside.
There, standing at the headstone back to back with Vanessa’s was the prettiest boy Wade had ever seen. As Wade approached, watching the young man bounce from foot to foot to keep warm, he could just begin to hear that he was in fact talking to the headstone. Good Wade thought. Sad but good. At least Wade knew this man wouldn’t judge if he did the same.
“Oh, and the dammed stove top stopped working again! I have pulled it apart to find the problem but the part I need isn’t cheap, and no way will the landlord pay for it. He is already pissed that I was late for rent last week and I complained about the heating too much, which he still hasn’t fixed by the way.”
Wade overheard the kid’s conversation (do you call it a conversation when the other participant can’t talk back?). He didn’t want to interrupt but the crunch of snow under his heavy combat boots alerted the smaller man to his presence.
“Sorry didn’t mean to interrupt your chat,” Wade said as he squatted. He placed roses on Vanessa’s grave now directly opposite the young man.
“Uhh, no it is alright. Just keeping them up to date on my life you know?” The young man said blushing and looking at his shuffling feet. Wade nodded in agreement, the sound of his mask rustling loudly against the hood of his snow jacket.
“I’ll let you get to your visit, sorry.” The young man started to move away from Wade, clearly uncomfortable with someone being there in his private moment.
“Don’t let me interrupt your visit. I will have headphones on, she liked to listen to music so I was just going to sit here with her and listen, you know,” Wade said, pulling his headphones out of his pockets and showing them to the handsome man.
“Ummm, ok yeah, well headphones are great, but I will leave you to it anyway. I have other people to visit just there so I won’t be far, but you can still have you alone time.”
Wade’s eyes shot up to where the brunette pointed just two headstones over. He hoped the young man could feel respectful sympathy as he nodded. Wade put his headphones on and moved to sit facing Vanessa’s headstone.
When Wade was ready to leave it had gotten dark and his butt was numb from both the cold and sitting on the frozen grass. He looked two headstones over and saw the pretty boy was still there gesturing wildly at what ever story he was telling. Wade knew it was kind of inappropriate to interrupt, but he never had much of a filter.
“You better wrap up soon my man. It is cold as a winter’s tit out here,” Wade shouted at him.
The young man chuckled nodded and waved. Wade remembered the kid’s earlier conversation to the headstone and hoped he had a microwave for hot coco or good blankets so he could warm up when he went home.
-----
Wade had felt better after visiting Vanessa. It was almost mediative and it made him feel less crazy and a little less alone.
A week later he was back there just as the sun was getting ready to set again and sure enough even though it was a different day of the week the man was there again. Wade was totally inappropriately excited to see the cute guy from last time. The pretty boy was crouched down changing the flowers on the headstone. As Wade approached, he looked up and smiled.
“We gotta stop meeting like this pretty boy.”
Oh, shit fuck Wade don’t call him pretty boy, not the time or place even you know that.
“I don’t know your name, so I don’t think we have really met,” The man smirked looking directly into Wades hidden eyes.
Oh, fuck this is worse. He was cute and clearly too ok with this morbid situation.
“Wade Wilson and this is my fiancé Vanessa,” Wade said guesting to the headstone in front of him. Was it weird to introduce dead loved ones when trying to flirt? Yes. Did Wade care? No.
“I’m Peter Parker, and this is my girlfriend Gwen.”
“So, your initials are P.P. that is unfortunate.”
“Tell me about it, but yours are W.W. like women who love women.”
“I mean I am Pan, and I do love women and wear dresses, so it isn’t so far off.”
Peter laughed at this and looked at his feet.
“Hmm good to know, lovely to meet you Vanessa.”
Peter then abruptly sat in front of Gwen and begun to talk to her, giving Wade a look that said: ‘please ignore my awful flirting and do what you came here to do’. Wade would not ignore the adorable flirting, but he would sit and have his moment with Vanessa. He put his headphones in and started his music. He really tried not to eavesdrop on Peter’s conversation, but he couldn’t help but listen in a little. He learnt that Peter had fixed the stove with a part he found in hard rubbish, that he worked for some asshole called Mr Jamerson that apparently screamed at him when he was ten minutes late and that he did photography. Peter then got up and moved to the headstones a few down and Wade wondered who they were.
Wade didn’t ask, he just let Peter continue with his routine. Wade again left before him giving Peter a wave and receiving a sheepish grin in return.
--
This became normal. Quickly. No matter the day of the week Wade went, Peter would be there, and Wade would always leave first. He grew concerned for the boy. Was it normal to talk to the dead this much?
Today Wade decided to confront him about it. He decided it was best if he broke the ice first, so he brought a thermos full of hot tea and offered Peter cup.
“Thank you,” Peter mumbled cradling the warm cup in both hands
“Can I ask you a question Peter?”
“Sure Wade, we’re headstone buddies,” Peter seemed to cringe at his own words, but Wade smiled fondly.
“Why do you come here and talk to Gwen and whoever the others are everyday?”
Peter looked over at the other headstones. And begun pointing to them.
“That’s my parents, then next to them are my aunt and uncle, them and Gwen are the only family I ever had. My aunt May always said I would feel better if I talked about my problems and shared my successes with others. I don’t have anyone else to share with, so I come here.”
Wade’s heart broke. Fate is a fuckin bitch.
“Well if you ever need someone who can talk back, I am happy to offer my services.”
Shit was that offensive?
“Thank you Wade, that’s very sweet of you.”
“No problem baby boy, us dead girlfriend people gotta stick together.”
Peter laughed at this (thank god) and handed his empty mug back to Wade.
“Alright I have to go tell May about the stray cat I saw today and the new leak in my apartment.”
“Wow, this apartment of yours sounds like a shit show Peter.”
“You get what you pay for.”
“You seem smart though, why are you not rich like that Stark asshole?”
“Student fees are a bitch and I am still paying off debt from old hospital bills from my Aunt.”
“Fuckin hell, that sucks dude. Wish you were Canadian like me.”
“I do like syrup.”
“See you’re already halfway there!”
Wade let Peter walk over to the other headstones satisfied with the progress they made today.
---
The next time Wade saw Peter something was off.
Peter was hunched over more so than usual, and he didn’t look up as Wade approached. He also stopped talking when Wade was in earshot clearly not wanting Wade to hear whatever he was talking about.
Wade stood at Vanessa’s grave as usual and to break the awkward silence, began to talk to Vanessa like Peter would. He told her about the new episodes of My Little Pony he’d watched, about the awesome burritos he’d cooked and how excited he was about the leftovers when he got home. All while Peter stood across from him hunched, hood covering his face. He did laugh at Wade’s anger and some My Little Pony drama, so Wade took that as a win. Wade was just complaining about his leaking sink and how he didn’t want to call a plumber when Peter finally cut in.
“I could help with that.”
“Oh, he speaks,” Wade said as he slowly lifted his face, his next quip dying in his throat upon seeing Peter’s bruised face. Peter quickly looked down taking his split lip in between his teeth. Wade instinctively reached out to examine Peter’s face, but he flinched away.
“You know that offer to talk still stands, if ya need someone Pete.”
He nodded silently and walked off to the other headstones.
Wade couldn’t concentrate on Vanessa or the music afterwards, and for once Peter left before Wade.
---
The next time Wade saw Peter wasn’t in the cemetery.
It was in the supermarket only two days later. Wade was so shocked at seeing Peter somewhere else all he did was watch. He watched as Peter squatted down stiffly.
Wade looked around debating what to do and was momentarily distracted by the news showing that Spider-Man had taken down a large gang using experimental weapons after stopping them rob a bank two days ago. God Wade loved that Spider kid.
He looked back to find Peter looking at the disinfectants and bandages. He picked up the disinfectant and three rolls of bandages before stopping to grab the hanging price tags. Peter paused and placed the disinfectant back on the shelf. Fuck no. Wade would not let this sweet piece of ass leave vital wound care behind because of his broke ass life.
Wade followed Peter out of the store at a safe distance, buying ice-cream and the disinfectant. Wade was going to stop Peter but when he realised where they were heading, he just couldn’t. They arrived at the cemetery and Wade hesitated before following Peter in.
He found Peter sitting with his back resting up against the headstone, Wade new to be his uncle Ben’s.
“Hey Baby boy,” Wade said, sitting gently down next to him. Now that he was closer to Peter, he could see the poor kid was covered in scratches and marks. He was also holding his right hand limply to his chest.
“What are you doing here in that condition?”
“Didn’t want to be alone yet.”
Wade’s heart pounded in his chest, aching as if it wanted to leap out in sympathy. He supposed that’s why they call ribcages. He silently handed Peter the disinfectant.
“You didn’t have to get this for me Wade.”
“Ok, Petey I love this whole mysterious hottie thing you have going on, but I think it has gone on long enough. I thought sharing trauma was good for making close relationships, right? And we are dead girlfriend buddies if that an’t shared trauma I don’t know what is. You don’t want to be alone right so come with me I’ll patch you up.”
Wade was met with silence.
“Ok we don’t know each other so well, how about I call a friend?”
“My best and only friend killed Gwen.”
“Shit, um what about a professor? Or boss?”
“My professor went insane and tried to kill me, he is over at the other end of the cemetery, he died in prison. And my last boss whom I loved dearly, beside the dickhead I have now, also tried to kill me, he’s in prison now.”
“Jesus Peter, then just let me help. I swear I’m not going to hurt you. Besides you seem to have done a good job at that yourself.”
“Don’t do this Wade.”
“Do what?”
“Care.”
Wade scoffed at this.
“You don’t get to decide that Petey.”
“People who do end up here,” Peter said gesturing widely to the cemetery.
Wade sighed. “Peter I am going to let you in on a secret. This mask is not just because they are fashionable like Wesley says in princess bride. I’m a mercenary, I can take care of myself. I am also immortal so I promise I can’t die on you."
“I guess I knew that.”
“You knew who I was and still talked to me?”
“I’d heard you stopped with the killing business. Last I heard you were on a holiday to figure things out before planning to receive hero training from Spider-Man.”
“That is true, but besides the point. I am not offering pity Peter. You can fix my leaking sink in payment for me patching you up seeing as you deffos cannot afford hospital care, nor would it be easy to clean wounds with what looks to be a strained wrist.”
Peter looked down at the offending wrist, them back up at Wade. He seemed to mull things over in his head before nodding. Wade helped Peter up and they waked back to Wade’s apartment in silence. It was warm inside, and Wade gestured for Peter to sit on the couch as he went to the bathroom to get the first aid kit. The injuries were not so bad when Wade got to them. Peter seemed mostly just tired and the sprained wrist was easy to wrap. Peter was impressively muscled under his three layers of hoodie, science pun shirt and long sleeve.
“So, you gonna tell me how a broke nerd ends up all beaten up?”
“Nope.”
“Ok fair, how about how you got these sweet ass abbs?”
“I umm…. Dance.”
“Wow that’s hot, like a stripper? Vanessa was a dancer, she was great.”
“I wouldn’t be as broke if I was a stripper, besides the market for average looking nerd boys is not very lucrative.”
“I disagree with the second statement, but ok you just dance for fun. I don’t need to beat anyone up for you, do I? You didn’t get yourself in trouble with a loan shark or some shit did ya?”
“No Wade, I handled it believe it or not these are injuries from victory.”
“Maybe you could try not taking the victory punches all on the same rib.”
“Noted,” Peter yawned heavily, lulling his head back onto the couch.
Wade silently finished wrapping Peter’s injuries, adding some cute hello kitty band aids, and covered Peter with a blanket. Peter was snoring softly in seconds. Fucking hell he was cute. His brown curls were resting just on top of his horn-rimmed glasses that were askew from Peter smooshing his face into the couch. Wade took of Peter’s glasses and placed them on the coffee table and contemplated the implications of him most definitely falling for this magnificent disaster.
--
When Wade awoke from his uncomfortable position on the chair next to the couch, he found Peter gone but sounds coming form his kitchen indicating he had not run off. What Wade walked into could have been right out of one of Wade’s bad porn fantasies. Peter was on his kitchen floor, ass sticking out from under the sink, sleeves rolled up exposing muscular forearms and dimples on his lower back exposed from where his shirt had ridden up.
“I could bounce a quarter off that ass.”
Peter was startled by Wade and jolted up at Wade’s voice hitting his head on underside of the sink.
“Ouch shit.”
“I would ask if you kiss your mother with that mouth, but I have met her so I know better, besides you lip is split to hell so no kissing for you.”
“Shame I was totally planning on a thank you kiss.”
“Please say you are a masochist so you can kiss me and enjoy the pain.”
“Your sink is fixed.”
“Hot and handy, I can cook and clean, so we have the house sorted, you want breakfast Peter?”
Wade could tell Peter was planning on protesting, but he was interrupted by his stomach grumbling.
“I will take that as a yes, pancakes it is.”
Wade cooked pancakes whilst singing off key, when he started singing popular from Wicked the musical, he could just hear Peter sing along shyly and smiled to himself. They spoke over pancakes about Wade’s life, his love of the golden girls and classic sifi and they geeked out together. The more they spoke the more Wade felt that Peter was just a younger PG version of himself.
“I’ve gotta go and drop photos off for Mr Jamerson for tomorrows paper, but thank you Wade. I mean it.”
“Tis not a problem my lady. Wait J. Joana Jamerson? As in for the daily bugle the trash paper! Omg you are the person who takes pictures of Spider-Man!”
Peter chuckled. “A fan, are you?”
“I have every picture you’ve taken. I love that arachnid man. Your pictures really capture his amazing butt.”
“I think I might be jealous,” Peter laughed again but Wade paused.
“Would you feel less jealous if I took you on a date?”
Peter froze, breathing heavily.
“Nothing serious or anything if you don’t think I’m hot…”
“You are very hot,” Peter blurted out before embarrassedly covering his mouth.
“Glad you think so despite having not seen my fucked-up face, just shallowly attracted to my voice but I will take it."
“And muscles,” Peter mumbled.
Wade chuckled. “So, would you like to take these muscles out, or we could stay in? Pizza and Star Wars?”
“Ok, late lunch today, here because my place is shit, you provide pizza? We can go to the cemetery together after?”
“Sounds amazing all you need to provide is that sweet ass, but with like no pressure to put it to any other use but sitting on the couch.”
Peter vigorously nodded and walked towards the door.
“See you later Wade.”
--
Wade actually cleaned his apartment. He knew it was kind of redundant because Peter had already seen the shit show it was, but he needed to keep occupied. Peter arrived ten minutes before the pizza was meant to. They decided to binge watch The Mandalorian because Baby Yoda. It was getting late when Peter turned to Wade with a determined look on his face.
“I want to see your face.”
“I don’t think that is a good idea Baby boy.”
“I want to look into your eyes.”
“I want to keep you around a little longer.”
“Trust me Wade.”
Peter looked so certain, and Wade knew this moment had to come eventually. He didn’t flinch when Peter gently lifted his mask. Wade kept his eyes shut not wanting to see Peter’s disgust. But he then felt a soft press on his cheek.
Peter was gently kissing his cheek! Just as Peter pulled away Wade opened his eyes.
“There they are, I knew your eyes would be amazing.”
“You are cheezy you know that right.”
“You love cheese, you said you wanted to marry cheese.”
“I am also lactose intolerant.”
“Yeah but you enjoy the pain.”
“Stop you will make me blush.”
Peter leaned forward and rested his head on Wades chest.
“Thank you for trusting me Wade.”
“You trusted me first.”
--
They arrived at the cemetery around their usual time but today they didn’t visit alone.
“Can I ask how they died Peter?”
Peter sighed heavily.
“Well my parents died when I was eight in a plane crash, so my aunt and uncle raised me. Ben died in a mugging when I was 16, I tried to slow the bleeding but….”
“Oh, Peter you were there?”
“I was there for the others too. Gwen was pushed of a tower, I couldn’t catch her, and May got sick. At least I had time to say goodbye to May.”
“I was there when Vanessa died, someone wanted to get to me, and she was caught in the crossfire."
Peter nodded blinking tears from his eyes. Wade took his hand in his.
“A right pair of disasters, aren’t we?”
Peter laughed.
“Yeah.”
---
It became a regular thing after that. Dates, Pizza, cemetery.
Until Peter disappeared for a week. They’d not had any of their usual pizza dates and Wade was worried. He went to the cemetery knowing he could find Peter there.
“Are you avoiding me Baby boy?”
Peter’s head snapped around to see Wade. He visibly gulped.
“I know you probably hate me or something Peter, but you should listen to me because I have croissants in my bag.”
“No, no Wade I don’t hate you,” Peter stuttered, instinctually taking a step to Wade with a limp.
Wade’s grip on his bag tightened.
“I was hoping to make you limp for fun reasons, but you seem to have beaten me to the punch.”
“This is why I didn’t tell you Wade; I knew you would worry!”
“Worry! I am furious!”
Peter flinched and Wade immediately felt guilty, he knew the signs of PTSD and he had seen them in Peter. He scolded himself for not having self-control.
“Not at you Peter I just… I’m worried."
“I know Wade.”
“I don’t think you do Peter, just promise me if this get too serious you will come to me for help. Coming here because you don’t want to be alone is not going to keep you safe Peter.”
“I’m scared Wade; you’re the first person I’ve let myself care about in years and I’m scared.”
Peter was crying now, and Wade rushed forward to hug him.
“Well I am scared too Peter, I don’t have the luxury of an immortal friend like you do, I also don’t want to lose you Peter. So, can you please promise me? Please.”
Peter turned his head to Wade and rolled up Wade’s mask.
“I promise Wade.”
And he kissed him.
Not on the cheek this time. On the lips. It was beautiful. Slightly salty from Peter’s tears but amazing none the less.
--
Things were great after that. Their dates went back to normal, but now with the added benefit of make out sessions. That was until Wade finally received the call he was dreading since Peter made that promise
“Petey why are you calling me at 3am? I didn’t think we were at the phone sex phase of the relationship yet?”
“I need help, you know where I am.”
And with that Peter hung up leaving Wade to hyperventilate as he hurriedly dressed.
He arrived at the cemetery rushing to Uncle Ben’s grave. What he saw was not his Baby boy but his other bae Spider-Man.
“Spider-Man, what are you…?”
It was then Wade saw which headstone Spidey was leaning on. Ben’s.
“Peter?”
“Unfortunately.”
Wade rushed the last few steps forward to check Spidey-Peter for injuries.
“I’m not badly injured.”
Wade sighed in relief.
“I just, I needed someone to love me back this time.”
Wade engulfed Peter in a hug and he sobbed into Wade’s shoulders.
“I didn’t get there in time.”
“It isn’t your fault Peter.”
“I never get there in time.”
“You did for me.”
Peter squeezed harder. And sniffled.
“I think I am going to tell you I love you Peter, but I am nervous about it.”
“Would it make you less anxious if I said I would say it back?”
“Yes very. Peter I am in love with you. I love you.”
But Peter didn’t say it back he just kissed Wade mask to mask.
“Well I like that you are being unpredictable.”
“We really got to stop having our most important relationship moments standing at our loved one’s headstones.”
“Unless we go full Mary Shelly and bone on the grave, I think we’re ok."