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He deserved honesty, thought Crowley, through his haze of alcohol, and that's exactly what Aziraphale would get as soon as he returned from wherever the hell he'd got to.
The demon poured another glass of wine and necked it. 'Dutch courage,' he murmured, remembering the day he invented it. Just then, the door opened.
'Crowley?' called Aziraphale. He didn't look too pleased.
'How did you know I was here?' slurred the demon.
'You left the Bentley outside on the pavement again,' chided Aziraphale, closing the door behind him and eyeing Crowley suspiciously. 'What are you up to?'
'No good,' quipped the demon, pouring another glass of wine. He staggered forward and raised the glass in a toast.
'I think that's enough,' said Aziraphale firmly.
Crowley pouted. 'Oh don't be strict with me, angel. I don't mean to be bad. I just am bad.'
'Sober up,' came the curt reply.
Crowley turned away, drank the wine down in one go, and put the glass down. 'No,' he provoked. 'I'm EVIL. Eeeeeevil.'
Aziraphale was caught between losing patience and feeling considerable concern. 'Crowley!' he shouted.
Crowley flinched. 'You've never shouted at me like that before,' he mused, swaying with intoxication.
The angel started taking some steps towards his demonic miscreant. 'I'm telling you now, you have to sober up, or...'
'Or what?! You'll send me to hell with a note to tell them I've been bad? You'll never talk to me again? You'll banish me to Alpha Centauri?'
Aziraphale stopped in front of him. 'Crowley? What's this about?'
'You don't need to bother!' declared Crowley dramatically. 'I'm leaving! You'll never see me again. This demon has left the building!'
He made for the door. Aziraphale miracled a chair, which scooched across the shop floor, to block it.
'Oh piss off!' said Crowley, and with a flick of his hand that was designed to move the chair, he lost his balance and fell to the floor. He stayed there, like a puddle of darkness, trying to collect his thoughts.
Aziraphale was angry. He often got flustered and sometimes cross. He had concerns for the world and its inhabitants, and Crowley every now and again wound him up, but the feeling was fleeting, soon to replaced by love and an effort to understand. So being this angry was quite new. He felt an unusual amount of command and power, and stood above the demon, exuding it.
'Sober up, now,' he said quietly.
Crowley looked up. The angel's expression was cold. That was new. He tried to think really hard, and with considerable effort and a mighty grimace, sobered up. Two bottles at the back of the shop refilled.
'Now,' said Aziraphale. 'What was that all about?'
Crowley looked away in shame, then made to stand up.
'Oh no you don't,' said Aziraphale. 'Stay exactly where you are and answer my question.'
Crowley hung his head. 'I have to leave.'
'Why?'
'I can't stay.'
Aziraphale took a deep breath. 'Why?'
'I can't... I'm a demon. I'm not good for you.'
'I see,' said the angel. 'And what exactly has happened to make you more demonic now than at any other point in the last 6000 years?'
Crowley gazed up at him. Aziraphale's heart melted, but he tried not to show it.
The demon swallowed. 'I... want you.'
Aziraphale couldn't respond. He just continued to listen.
'I... want you. And not in a nice way, angel. I need... I'm a demon. We've become close. We've bonded... and for me that means I have needs. And I need you, so badly.'
Aziraphale tried frantically to think of something helpful or kind to say. Something wise, even.
'So I'm leaving. My body wants you so much, this body... I don't think I can trust it.'
The angel's heart fluttered. That was quite a confession. He knew he was expected to be horrified, frightened even, by this demon's declaration, but he also knew Crowley. He tried and tried to find the words.
'I'm going to Alpha Centauri. I don't belong in Hell. I can't live here on earth with you. I don't think getting back into heaven is an option. So I'm leaving. I came to say goodbye. It was nice knowing you. You were my...' His lip wobbled, and Aziraphale felt tears prick his eyes. '...best friend.' He drooped like a broken umbrella, hiding his face.
'You still are,' said Aziraphale. 'You always will be. And you're not going anywhere.'
'I can't live with this!' cried the demon. 'Wanting what I can't have.'
'Why do you think you can't have it, Crowley?'
Crowley looked up in shock. 'You don't want me like this! And even if you did, I can’t ask you to sin, angel. I am just… lust.'
‘You are not,’ said Aziraphale, with a delicate blend of firmness and kindness. ‘You do not have a lust for power or destruction. You have a sense of decency, of kindness, and most importantly, hope. In that, I’m afraid my dear, you are a terrible failure as a demon. I won’t call you nice, because you’re already feeling fragile. But you are good, Crowley, even if some people can't see it.’ He hoped that wouldn't be taken as disrespect should the Almighty happen to tune in.
The demon pouted. ‘I’m not good. I’m not thinking… good things.’
‘No?’ ventured Aziraphale softly. ‘You are experiencing physical love. Just, demonically.’
‘I’m not sure I can call it that.’
‘Well, you are a demon,’ said Aziraphale casually. ‘I’m sure you can find someone to misbehave with and find some relief.’
‘I don’t want anyone else!’ shouted Crowley, somewhat petulantly.
‘I see,’ said Aziraphale. ‘So these terrible, lustful, wanton desires are specifically for someone you have known for over 6,000 years. Someone you have relied on, fought by, and fought for, for centuries.’
‘S’pose so.’
Aziraphale crouched down and gently lifted Crowley’s chin. ‘That’s not lust, Crowley. Lust is a raw physical attraction, in the absence of any emotional connection, or particular bond, other than the body wanting what it wants. Developing sexual desire for a companion or partner you have known all your life is not sinful. It’s inevitable.’
‘Inevitable?’
‘Well, for a demon,’ said Aziraphale.
Crowley looked away, obviously hurt.
Aziraphale placed a warm palm on his face. ‘I can’t honestly say I am experiencing what you are,’ he said, so very softly now. ‘Not the intensity, exactly.’
Crowley looked at him in shock. ‘Not exactly?’ he croaked.
Aziraphale’s breathing was quicker. ‘But the intimacy,’ he continued. ‘It’s everything to me, Crowley, and to think we could be closer, know each other, experience sensual pleasures together…’ His breath hitched, his cheeks were pink. ‘Well… I wouldn’t say no to that.’
Crowley sat up on his knees, staring Aziraphale in the eyes. ‘So what you’re saying is…’
‘Be gentle,’ finished Aziraphale, his mouth dry. ‘Now, I’m not saying I want you to be nice . But don’t hump me like a dog.’
Crowley’s eyebrows shot up. ‘Hump you?’ He was unable to process what he was hearing.
‘You know what I mean.’
‘I’m not a dog,’ grumbled Crowley, scowling.
‘No. You’re a sulky demon snake being who’s in a heap on my floor because he’s so aroused he can’t think straight.’
‘Don’t make fun of me Aziraphale!’ hissed the demon.
‘I’m not,’ said the angel sternly. “I want you too.’
Crowley was trembling now. He couldn’t understand this. ‘Have you ever…?’
‘Certainly not,’ said Aziraphale. ‘Didn’t seem right.’
‘But this does?’ asked Crowley, incredulous.
‘Yes,’ said the angel with a shrug. ‘It does. And I know it is.’ He stood, tugging Crowley up with him. ‘As carnal desires go, I’m more at fault than you are, I expect. All those crepes.’
He patted his tummy.
Crowley felt a wave of warmth completely overtake him. His knees weakened for a moment. And that’s when he took Aziraphale’s face in his hands and kissed him deeply. It was just two seconds - not chaste, but both passionate and respectful. He moved back. His heart raced as he studied Aziraphales’s face for a reaction.
The angel’s pupils were blown. They reached for each other again, and Aziraphale kissed him back exactly the same. Crowley took him in his arms as the kiss, still respectful, became so much more passionate.
They held each other tight; exploring the kiss, moaning softly, and enjoying every sensation.
Crowley suddenly felt a little distant.
Aziraphale broke off the kiss. ‘Are you all right?’ he asked.
Crowley looked ashamed. ‘Dangerously close to humping you like a dog ,’ he said, being sure to imitate Aziraphale’s phrasing none too kindly.
‘Oh,’ said the angel like it was as easy to fix as changing a lightbulb. ‘Well then.’
He took Crowley by the hand and led him to the back room, which at the click of his fingers now contained a convenient mattress and soft linens.
Crowley thought he would pass out. After all, the oxygen he needed had been rushed away from his brain and was now living in his penis.
Aziraphale closed the door. ‘First things first. Let’s manage this urgency. We have time, Crowley. You can relax. Lie down.’
It was all somewhat clinical, except for the flush in Aziraphale’s cheeks. Crowley hesitated, feeling rather stunned.
‘I said lie down,’ said the angel firmly.
‘All right,’ reacted the demon with a churlish wave, blindsided by the command and also delighting in it.
He slanted to the side until he was draped on the mattress. As soon as he touched it, he was down to his underwear.
‘Hey!’ he exclaimed staring at his black boxer briefs in surprise. His arousal was now quite dramatically obvious.
Aziraphale slowly removed his coat, bow tie and waistcoat, enjoying Crowley watching him do it.
The demon moved his hand to his crotch.
‘No touching,’ chided Aziraphale. ‘Not yet.’
‘Should have known you’d have some weird control, power issue thing,’ muttered Crowley, more sure than ever he was about to black out due to oxygen starvation.
Aziraphale removed his shoes, socks and trousers. He was now wearing only his shirt and white boxer shorts, and smirked when he saw Crowley peeking at them. ‘I want you to understand you’re not alone,’ he said calmly. ‘You’re not out of control. You’re not going to burst into flames. And you are not going to hurt me.’ He delivered the last part more as a stern instruction, and Crowley’s cock twitched.
Crowley realised his eye lids must have drifted closed for a mere second because the next moment, Aziraphale was on all fours on the mattress in front of him, pressing his mouth against his. This time, the kiss took on a life of its own. Crowley pulled his angel to him, and leaned back. Quite immediately Aziraphale was on top of him. Aziraphale was no longer confident that they wouldn’t combust after all, the rush of sensations and pleasure was unlike anything he’d known, and he could not get enough of the rogue demon who was moaning and sighing beneath him.
Remembering the dog comment, he stilled himself and rolled off Crowley, breathing hard. He gave the demon a tap on the leg. ‘That was your fault,’ he explained.
‘Oh really,’ said Crowley, devilishly.
Aziraphale gave him a coquettish glance and held his arm out. ‘Come here, lie here.’
Crowley regarded him suspiciously. It looked like the angel was trying to initiate a nice cuddle . He tried not to hiss, but did as he was told, and shuffled closer to Aziraphale, tucking himself under the angel’s arm and did his best to resist curling up into the fetal position.
‘Good boy,’ praised Aziraphale. Crowley’s cock twitched again, accompanied by a whimper. ‘All right,’ said the angel. ‘Let’s deal with this demonic entity, shall we?’ He slid his free hand down the front of the briefs, and Crowley reacted like he was walking on consecrated ground. He thrust against the touch, the underwear disappearing, then reappearing on the pile Aziraphale’s discarded clothing.
‘Ah ha,’ said the angel. ‘It’s all right. Look at me. You’re going to feel better very soon now.’ He wrapped his fingers around the straining erection and started to move gently, while placing kisses on Crowley’s temple. He didn’t have to do much other then keep a firm first. Crowley simply fucked it while Aziraphale murmured little commands and compliments in his ear.
He gripped a little harder, and Crowley’s moans became indecently loud. Aziraphale almost swooned. The thrusts became quicker and clumsier. ‘Oh dear,’ admonished the angel, sweetly. ‘We are humping like a naughty dog.’
Crowley keened, as Aziraphale kissed his forehead. ‘It’s quite all right,’ Aziraphale moaned. ‘I think I like it.’
With that, Crowley came hard, spurting ropes over Aziraphale’s shirt and fist. The angel held him tightly until every undulation had run its course. As the demon recovered his senses, he was aware of the continuous pecking of kisses being applied to his head. He blinked up at Aziraphale.
‘Thanks for that,’ he said.
Aziraphale looked down at him dreamily. It was sobering - seeing an angel so clearly aroused. Crowley lifted himself up on his elbow. ‘What do you want?’
Aziraphale trembled.
‘It’s okay, whatever you want,’ said Crowley. ‘Or, we can stop. You don’t have to…. Nothing has to…’
‘I want to…’ began Aziraphale. ‘I want you to watch me.’ He went so red, Crowley was concerned for him. The angel sat up a little and pushed his white boxers down his thighs. Crowley sat up so he could support his weight, and Aziraphale sat back into him contentedly. He lifted the shirt up to reveal his own erection, smaller than Crowley’s, but thick and beautiful.
‘Do you need the shirt?’ asked Crowley
‘The shirt stays on,’ said Aziraphale abruptly, eyes anxious. He was already touching himself.
‘That’s okay, that’s fine,’ reassured Crowley. ‘Whatever you want.’
The angel started jerking himself in earnest, not graceful, but utterly lost in need. His head head fell back onto Crowley’s shoulder. Crowley thought it was the most delicious thing he’d ever seen. He could swear Aziraphale was glowing as his movements went from urgent to critical.
Crowley started to return those little kisses. ‘It’s okay, angel. I love you too.’
A surprised shout, and Aziraphale orgasmed with such power it threw him off balance. He turned to Crowley, coating the demon with his release as he gasped through waves of pleasure. Crowley held him close, until his body started to slump, and they both lay back down, instinctively moving into one another’s arms.
For several minutes there was just breathing and nuzzling, followed by a long, languid French kiss.
Eventually, they stopped and grinned groggily at each other.
Crowley licked his lips, remembering the show he was given. ‘I think you’ve done that before, Aziraphale,’ teased the demon. ‘You are such a naughty angel. I think that’s why I like you.’
‘Don’t be cheeky,’ scolded Aziraphale playfully.
‘Or what?’ asked the demon, raising an eyebrow.
Aziraphale turned on his side to look his demon fully in the eyes. He ran a hand over the unruly red hair, petting his friend, then brought his hand down on the demon’s hide in a lovetap. Crowley snorted. ‘The gods themselves do tremble,’ he sneered.
Aziraphale giggled. ‘I’m sure I’ll think of something,’ said Aziraphale. ‘There is unlikely to be an existing guide on how to train your demon, but perhaps you can help me write one.’
Crowley pouted, and Aziraphale pulled him in as close as he could. They started kissing again, gently, softly, until that same desire returned like a flame reignited and their bodies strained for more. Aziraphale kicked off his boxers and rolled on top of Crowley. He ground against him, causing them both to cry out. He looked down as he rolled his hips very deliberately, then in an act of courage that took Crowley’s breath away, tore off his shirt, revealing his warm, creamy skin. The demons hands went straight for the soft flesh, and his mouth delivered kisses to Aziraphale’s chest.
‘Time to hump like dogs,’ joked Aziraphale. It earned him a pat on the bottom.
‘Don’t make promises you can’t keep,’ chided Crowley with a wolf grin.
Aziraphale gave him a devastating glare. ‘It wasn’t a promise, demon, it was a threat.’
‘Oh, demon now is it?’ said Crowley, indignant, but feeling strangely tingly.
‘Yes. Like it?’
‘Oh god yes,’ said Crowley urgently.
‘Good,’ said Aziraphale, kissing him hard. They rubbed together, holding on tight, rocking like a beetle on its back, seeking that exceptional friction. Pleasure built like a thousand symphonies as they devoured one another. The entire shop could have burned down, again, and they wouldn’t have noticed. They came together loudly, messily, and for what felt like way longer than any climax should reasonably last.
This time they drifted off for a good long while, allowing their man-shaped bodies to recover in a way only man-shaped bodies could.
When Aziraphale opened his eyes, he could almost hear Crowley thinking.
‘What is it?’
‘Do you want… to insert things?’
‘I don’t know,’ stammered Aziraphale. ‘Have you done that before?’
‘I’ve had sex, angel. Got bored once or twice. Thought I’d try it.’
‘Did you like it?’
‘Um, it was a pleasant enough way to pass the time. Especially if…’
‘If?’
‘If we shouldn’t have been doing it.’
Aziraphale gave him a look.
‘But otherwise I found I preferred a bottle of Malbec.’
‘I know what you mean.’
'But now there’s you. And you get it.’
‘Yes.’ Aziraphale blushed. ‘Have you, done it to them or did you let them do it to you?’
‘Both,’ said Crowley lightly. He looked at his angel searchingly. ‘Do you want me to… do it… to you, or..?’
‘Yes,’ said Aziraphale. ‘And I want to do it to you. If you don’t mind.’
‘Right. Well then. Long night ahead of us,’ said Crowley.