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  1. Tags
    Summary

    A little less than a week after the world didn't end, Adam receives a letter inviting him to a certain school of magic. After a dream he replies, and the next morning miraculously the rest of 'The Them' get invited too, and they gain magical powers as well. Crowley and Aziraphale come in to check on Adam, and it turns out they make quite good teachers there. Anathema gets a job offering to Hogwarts as a divination teacher, and with the proper tools she actually becomes the second best seer of all time.

    The first few chapters are setup, after that you get lots of ineffable husbands fluff and Anathema being badass. Haven't really seem 'Them' centric fics so I decided to try it with this crossover. Lots of material and its fun to write, so win-win! (Post-canon for both franchises)

    Once complete will become first in a series.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,770
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    138
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1445
  2. Tags
    Summary

    What does it mean when you stop being the only thing the only thing that defined who you are? After burning the second volume of The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, witch following the Apocalypse that wasn't, Anathema Device finds herself unmoored. Her entire life up until this moment had been at the mercy of her ancestor, and for the first time she's in the driver's seat (but with no idea of where she wants to go).

    A series of ostensibly connected short scenes, following Anathema as she sets out to discover who she is without the Prophecies to guide her.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,054
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    49
  3. Tags
    Summary

    The prophecies of Agnes Nutter return not even a year after they were thought to be destroyed, and they don't paint a pretty prediction. The Hosts of Heaven and Hell are still seething from their failed war, so much so that they might take any opportunity to pursue it, including an alliance. God, meanwhile, has her own ineffable plans to pursue, somehow involving an American woman and the second coming of Christ. Across the pond, these events and those to come wrench Aziraphale and Crowley from their retirement and limbo. If they ever want a chance to return to their creature comforts, they might have to help save creation. However, they are not prepared for what they face: the dangers of Heaven and Hell pale in comparison to the minefield of their unfettered desires.

    Also known as Crowley and Aziraphale go on a Great American Road-Trip, Gabriel and Beelzebub make an arrangement of their own, and God's pregnant handmaiden refuses to let this story become The Handmaid's Tale.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,612
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    7
  4. Tags
    Summary

    It's a dangerous thing for an angel like Aziraphale to have an idea; it's only more so when the future of the human race may hang in the balance. The wayward angel wants to build a force to stand against Heaven and Hell alike – but will it still be worth the risk if he loses a dear friend in the process?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,620
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    43
  5. Tags
    Summary

    The Demon Beelzebub is unable to resist the pull of living in the mortal world, but she has to remain a Lord of Hell, and it's straining nerves and alliances. Also, she likes weed.

    “See - I realize now that Dagon is a fish sandwich. Not just a fish, a fish sandwich. Covered in mayonnaise that’s gone off. If we see him again we dip him in vinegar. Not holy wanker. I mean water.” She drew deeply and passed the roach to Crowley.

    “Naaaah, Gabriel's the holy wanker. Ssssssst. Ackgkkgk.” Crowley brought a heartfelt cough up from the depths of his narrow chest. “Tosser. Plonker. Absolute twatwaffle.” Crowley coughed even more deeply, just as a pounding came on the door.

    Well, they'll stone ya when you're trying to be so good
    They'll stone ya just a-like they said they would
    They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to go home
    Then they'll stone ya when you're there all alone

    But I would not feel so all alone
    Everybody must get stoned.

    Bob Dylan - "Everybody Must Get Stoned"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,129
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    83
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Southeastern Lithuania, 1262. On the way to an assignment, Crowley is bewildered to find that he’s inadvertently acquired a devotee. Aziraphale works out what’s going on, but it takes a couple of miracles — and a grass snake — to set things right.

    Or: What happens when a pair of Ineffable Idiots take a road trip during an outbreak of ergotism?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,352
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    138
  7. Tags
    Summary

    One week after the Armaggedidn't, Crowley and Aziraphale go out for a picnic out of London. Unfortunatelly for them, they get caught on a really nasty traffic jam. With nothing to do to pass the time, they engage in some of the most classical road trip games. However, what was initially inteded to be just innocent games starts to delve into the Thing™️ between them, the thing that both of them are very aware of, but neither dares to speak of it. Cue absurd ammounts of flirting, pining and dancing around the issue.

    Who knows, maybe it will lead them to actually talk about the elephant in the room (who's actually tired of being ignored for millenia now).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,431
    Chapters:
    1/5
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    87
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale thought he had born witness to his fair share of Crowley's temptations over the millennia. Those swinging, hypnotic hips, the persistent nudges to rebel against authority, the clandestine lunch dates - it all seemed part and parcel for a demon's propensity for persuasion. This assumption is shattered one day at an antiques show of all places, when the angel learns that Crowley's abilities reach far beyond a mere silver tongue, and the knowledge ignites something primal within him.

    After all, he'd always been one for indulging in new pleasures.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,504
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    174
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    1114
  9. Tags
    Summary

    The night after the world failed to end, Aziraphale and Crowley consider what they must do to ensure one another's survival. It's not just the inevitable executions that have them worried- it's the inevitable reception party they'll have to contend with before the execution that's the sticking point.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,930
    Chapters:
    5/7
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    98
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1416
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley and Aziraphale are caught in the crossfire of a new kind of cosmic war: a business restructure that threatens the lives of millions of angels and demons alike, and after an angelic Throne is mysteriously banished from God’s own court, the duo are forced to protect it from the forces of good and evil that would use it for their own gain.

    Pulled together again in the wake of new dangers, they will learn that defiance comes at a bigger cost than they ever imagined.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    71,142
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1293
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley is dramatic and Arizaphale is his usual self except he can now cook and bake.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    677
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    190
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley has a mysterious job and less-than-mysterious coffee addiction that was predicated on giving his psychiatrist the proverbial finger. When his usual cafe Queue to Hell inexplicably disappears, he finds himself crossing to the other side (of the street), where he finds Bean to Heaven is staffed by an actual-but-not-quite-literal angel.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,573
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Hits:
    1
  13. Tags
    Summary

    All Crowley wanted was a hot date. He's not too sure how it turned into a rescue mission.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,083
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    111
    Kudos:
    371
    Bookmarks:
    72
    Hits:
    3791
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Midday, in Crowley's flat, sometime shortly after Armageddidn't. A bespectacled demon can be seen lounging on a white, leather sofa. He is immobilized due to an unwavering and very un-English heatwave.

    Enter the waistcoat-wearing hedonist.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,678
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    3
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Глаза выжидающе уставились на Кроули. Некоторые зарябили тоже и спустя полминуты странных змеиных голубых глаз стало больше.

    Кроули очень глубоко вдохнул, зубами снял с бутылки крышку, сделал большой глоток. И достал телефон.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    1,960
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    77
  16. Tags
    Summary

    An audio recording of the work written by prettydizzeed.

    Podfic Length 0:10:06

    Author's summary: “Do you remember the, ah, the bit about the serpent, after the ordeal with the apple and such? Cursed above all the cattle and every beast of the field, upon thy belly thou shalt go, dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life, et cetera?”

    Aziraphale nods.

    “And here I am, not, you know, crawling on my belly, obviously, so. Got to be punished for that prolonged bout of disobedience.” Crowley shrugs, then hides the accompanying wince.

    Aziraphale’s brow wrinkles. “I’m afraid I don’t understand—”

    “I’m in pain, angel. All the time. It’s just kind of…” He waves a hand. “How things are."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    7
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley watched as white wings became stained with ash. This was his fault.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,293
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    10
  18. Tags
    Summary

    - After the Apocawasn’t things between Crowley and Aziraphale change once the demon’s most heavily guarded secret is revealed. How will they work through their new relationship?
    - Little!Verse (Crowley is a Little who is living as a Baseline.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,088
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    137
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    2003
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley had been enjoying his ten year long vacation as London Zoo's Boa Constrictor exhibit when he's interupted by some rude individuals telling him to move. He was trying to take a nap, thank you very much. But what was more interesting than that, was their little companion seemed to be able to talk with him. In his own language no less.

    or how Crowley is the Boa Constrictor Harry talks to at the zoo

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,485
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    26
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Beelzebub teaches Gabriel more than just kissing. Who knows where this might lead...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,889
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    820

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