Chapter Text
"Okuyasu...can we like, talk?"
Okuyasu frowned at his best friend. They'd been talking almost constantly all afternoon and well into the evening, why would he ask for permission now? "Sure?"
Josuke was scanning nervously, looking at everything in the room except Okuyasu. "Its about something kinda...important. Is that okay?"
"Of course, dude."
Josuke stood from his place on Okuyasu's couch, shoving his hands into his pockets and slowly circling the living room. "So like, we're best friends, right?"
"Yeah?"
"A-and best friends can tell each other anything, right?"
Okuyasu was getting more nervous by the moment. "Y-yeah?"
"And if you had something that you never wanted anybody to ever, ever find out about, you could trust your best friend not to tell anyone, right?"
He forced a chuckle. "You're kinda freaking me out, Josuke."
Josuke groaned dramatically.
"Come on, man! It can't be that bad! You can tell me anything, I won't breathe a word of it to anybody, promise."
Josuke returned to his original spot, flopping down onto the ancient cushions. He put his face into his hands, obscuring his expression and muffling his voice.
"I think I'm gay."
Okuyasu barked out a laugh, caught completely off guard. "Okay, but really, what's goin on- ow!"
Josuke's face was rigid with anger, his fist still clenched, as if he might deliver another blow to Okuyasu's shoulder. He was trying to be intimidating, but tears were quickly leaping to his eyes. "It's not f-fucking funny, asshole!"
Okuyasu rubbed his shoulder, wincing a little. That might bruise, but Josuke would probably fix it once he calmed down. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! You're right, it ain't funny, but like. Are you for real? You're like, gay gay?"
"I dont know! I think so! How the hell am I supposed to know if it's 'for real'?!" His anger was still bubbling at the surface, seeming suddenly directionless.
"Well like, what makes you think that? Like, maybe you just haven't met the right girl yet-"
"I like boys, okay?" Josuke slumped back against the couch, bringing his hands back up to his face in frustration and shame. "I think- I think maybe I've always liked boys. I don't know."
The silence between them started to grow as soon as it was born, filling the room with its suffocating enormity.
"I'm sorry," Okuyasu finally ventured.
"Yeah."
Okuyasu wasn't sure how to deal with this. He knew that gay people like, existed. On TV or in magazines, at protests, in rumors. But in his mind, they didn't exist in real life, and certainly not in Morioh, and definitely not right down the street. He thought back through their conversations over the past year, all the things he said that might've hurt Josuke's feelings.
"So, what are you gonna do?"
Josuke's voice made him flinch. Not because it was harsh, but because it was afraid. He silently cursed himself for being such a dick. "What do you mean?"
"Like, are you gonna tell anybody?"
The real question was there, thinly veiled. "I told you, you can trust me. We're still best friends, don't worry."
Josuke looked like a weight had been lifted. "Thanks, man."
"So why now?" Josuke just frowned at him.
"Like, you said you've always liked dudes, why're you telling me now?"
"I mean, I didn't always know, first of all. I only really realized it like a year ago, maybe two. And at first I just didn't want anybody to know. I guess I still don't, really, but... I don't know, it fuckin' sucks. Keeping everything to myself, it makes me feel like garbage. And I just kinda reached a point where I couldn't go on without telling anybody." He looked down at the floor, crossing his arms. His face adopted a rosy tint. "And I guess...I guess you're kinda...p-part of the reason that I couldn't keep ignoring it anymore."
He'd followed the first ninety percent of that. "What? What do I have to do with anything-" Josuke's face was getting progressively redder. He lightly touched his own cheek, either to test its warmth or attempt to hide it. "Oh."
"I'm sorry!-" The words left both of their mouths almost simultaneously. Okuyasu felt his own face starting to heat up as well.
Josuke gave him a sad smile. "Don't be. You didn't do anything wrong. I mean, I'm the one who's all weird-"
"You're not weird," Okuyasu interrupted. He was surprised by the finality in his own voice.
"I mean, I'm definitely not normal."
"I guess."
Another silence threatened to overwhelm them. Okuyasu couldn't stop his brain from digging deeper into this concept. Normal people, ordinary students like him, were just out there being gay. It seemed like a stupid thing to take him by surprise, but he'd never even considered that guys like him could be like that. Okuyasu could like other guys too, if he wanted to. The new idea was bizarre, and maybe a little more interesting than it should be.
"How can you be sure?"
Josuke sighed. "I said I'm not sure, alright? I said I might be. I never said anything about being sure-"
"Have you ever kissed a girl?"
Josuke seemed to be getting a little frustrated. "Yes! I mean, I was like twelve, but-"
"Did you like it?"
He raised his voice. "I don't know! No one likes anything when they're twelve! I didn't even remember if I liked her-"
"What about a boy? Have you ever kissed a boy?"
"Will you stop it with the third degree already? What are you getting at?!"
"Well, that might be a good like, rule of thumb. If you like kissin' girls and you dont like kissin' boys, you're probably like, normal, right? And if you don't like either, maybe you just don't like kissin'."
Josuke nodded, steadily calming down. "I guess that makes sense."
"So if you kiss a boy, you'll probably know for sure."
"I mean, if I could find a guy who like, you know, wanted that, then yeah."
Okuyasu's mind had gained too much momentum. His reason couldn't catch it. "I could do it, if you want."
Josuke met his eyes, expression instantly softening. "Y-you'd do that for me?"
"Yeah, I mean. It seems like not knowin' for sure is really getting under your skin. So, if it'll make you feel better about this whole thing, I'll do it."
Josuke shifted to face Okuyasu properly, licking his lips. "I mean, if you're sure you're okay with it..."
Okuyasu felt his heart flutter. This evening was really getting away from him, but he weirdly didn't mind. He chose to keep his eyes open, worried that he might miss and kiss his chin or something. Their lips barely met, and Okuyasu was scared that maybe that one didn't count, so he leaned back in and stayed. He counted in his head. One, Two, that was probably enough. He'd been focusing so much on his form that the impact of the kiss didn't hit him until it was already over, but when it did, he felt inexplicably out of breath. "H-how do you feel?"
"I feel, uh, weird?"
Okuyasu nodded. He felt really weird, too. "That's probably a good sign, right?"
Josuke shook his head, eyes trained on Okuyasu's face. "No, it's like...a different kind of weird."
"Oh."
Okuyasu realized then that neither of them had completely moved away yet, their faces still only inches apart.
Josuke worried his lip between his teeth. When had his lips become so interesting?
"Like, I kinda want to do it again."
Okuyasu's face was burning, his heart was racing, his thoughts tripped over their own feet, Josuke tied their laces together like a tongue with a cherry stem. "Let's do it again, then."
Josuke finally leaned back then, flinching. "What? Y-you're not serious, right?"
His face was scorching, he tried helplessly to backpedal. "I just meant, if you wanted to kiss again-"
"Wait. Did...did you like it, too?"
He scratched the back of his neck. "...Yeah..."
The sun was going down. The natural light that normally flooded in through the windows was quickly fading.
"Doesn't that like, you know, make you kinda gay too, then?"
"I don't know."
Josuke hesitated, biting his lip again. He leaned forward, tentatively placing a hand on Okuyasu's cheek. "I...I won't tell anybody if you don't, okay?"
Okuyasu moved in, halting only when their lips were agonizingly close to each other. "Okay."