Chapter Text
King Dedede looked at Escargoon, squinting. “Is there...somethin I dun know about?”
Escargoon almost immediately felt cornered and put down the broom he was holding and propped it against King Dedede's nightstand. He swore he would have snapped it in half if he kept gripping onto it.
The snail looked at him with weary eyes, nervously rubbing his arm. “What.. Ever do you mean, Sire?” They engaged in a staring contest. The King advanced closer and closer to the snail, closing him off to the wall. His voice echoed slightly off the walls of his bedroom; “Under dat shell ‘o yours, I mean. We're close pals right, Escargoonie? Close pals dun hold secrets from one another.”
The Kings hand lands on the wall next to the snail’s head, closing off any chance of escaping. He squints with curiosity and dominance at the shorter being. “No, no, of course not, Your Majesty. N-no such thing as secrets between us.” A sweat bead ran down his face, forcing out a short laugh. His eyes sped all around the room, suddenly avoiding eye contact; maybe looking for any possible exit route out of this mess.
King Dedede grabs Escargoon wrist pulling it above him, the snail caught off guard. The penguin the probably thought holding his wrist would calm the mollusc down and just get the answer out of him. He was very wrong, for the most part. “ng,” he mewed out and tried his damnest to ignore the very existence of the King. He ended up completely failing to convince himself that the King was, in fact, right there right in front of him. A light redness spreads on the snail's face, confusing the King. Escargoon weakly tries to pull his arm back down to his side, but it didn't budge one bit. “Cmon, I know ya are hidin' somethin from me! Yer sweating like I'm threatenin' ya job! An’ I will if ya dun jus' spit it out already!” He boomed, trying to scare the words out of Escargoon’s mouth. The snail stutters, his other hand on the penguin’s chest, pathetically trying to push him away. “Where did this come from anyway? I ain't got nothin to tell, so let me go ya worthless excuse for a King!” He retaliates pitifully, just wanting the King to let go of his wrist so he could run away and coop himself in the library and when he comes out tomorrow the King will forget all about this.
The snail just looks up at him sheepishly, making the King grit his teeth in frustration. “Shaddup! Ya keep lookin at me like dat! Whatcha got to say?? Dis is an order, from me!” He presses on and leans closer and jabs his, tightening the grip on the snails wrist. Their bodies almost touching each other, the only space in between was kept because of the mollusc’s pushing hand. The snail squints at the bigger figure, peeved.
Escargoon leans back into the wall as close as he could and sighs lightly. He takes this hand from his majesty's chest and has an futile attempt to cover his face, his mouth opening but nothing coming out at first. The King waits impatiently, eyes wide and attentive.
“I….”
They make eye contact. The king was almost tingling with anticipation.
“You……. Know this is really isn't something pals tell each other, right? It's sorta a personal thing..” he grumbled, the mollusc’s face getting darker with a shade of red. King Dedede untensed his shoulders, almost disappointed that this was dragging out way longer than he would've liked. 'I got stuff ta do, Ya know!' He overlooked how Escargoon looked like he really just wanted to sink into himself and disappear. The mollusc glances at his restrained wrist.
The king forced on a strong composure and grinned, “i… i dun care, speak up!” he was starting to rethink this and had the slight urge to not push any further than he already has. 'I ain't no king if i back out now!' He stood tall and stared holes into Escargoon, who was prominently showing that he knew what exactly what was being asked; and that there's no way out. He accepted that this is what's gonna happen, and the King could tell it on his face. The mollusc lets out an long exasperated groan. King Dedede proceeded to let go of his wrist, but making it well known to keep talking even when he's not being held down to.
The snail whispered, so softly and shaky that the King couldn't decipher what he said. “..?? Hah? Come again???” The penguin lifts a brow. “I said--Sire, It's about my anatomy. You always bring it up. Ya know….what I look like without my shell.. For some reason...” He hesitated to continue on, squinting at the ground and starting to unconsciously fiddle with his thumbs. “Even though it is just really.. Embarrassing for me to tell you, certain circumstances, I'd prefer you know and never ask again. Ya understand, Your Majesty?” They make shaky eye contact once again.
King Dedede gulps. He nods, suddenly having trouble looking into the snail’s eyes.
Escargoon covers his face abruptly, seemingly more flustered. “W-wait. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna show you what's under my shell. Just, I'm just telling you! I'm not a science project ya'know?? I have to have my privacy--” he glances off to the side, “believe it or not.” He spits through gritted teeth. The snail runs his hands down his face, trying to recollect himself.
King Dedede was listening carefully, watching his every move. He held down a chuckle at how he looks, so small and red-faced. He balls his fist on the wall up, his hands starting to get all clammy.
“To….. Clarify-- I'm a guy.. A male.” He speaks up, almost immediately making King Dedede raise his brow. Escargoon held back a small laugh at his expression, but quickly remembered where this was going. He clears his throat nervously through the silence and it softly echoes. “So you know, about, uh…… private.. P….par…….” The snail trails off, this gaze feebly shifting off to anywhere besides the person in front of him. He hopes the bedroom doors are locked so no innocent Waddle Dees mindlessly walk in, during….something.
“Hah???” The King interrupts him through his thoughts. The snails face was beet red, a frown pressed on his face. He crossed his arms tightly to his body, as if he would sink in on himself and disappear.
“Pardon me--Your Majesty. I said it's about..P-private parts. Genitals. All of the above. You--You know,” Escargoon spat out, enunciating the words as if the King still wouldn't understand what he was suggesting at. The King unconsciously leaned in closer, the snail noticing and feeling a slight chill go up his back. King Dedede was uncomfortably quiet, making the mollusc slide uncomfortably against the wall as he thought of what to say next. “Surely you must know what you're gettin’ into now! If you wanna back out now, just.. say so.” He tightened his arms to his chest. He looked up from the ground at His Majesty's face, wondering what his expression was. The snail was taken aback by the red faced penguin, who was furrowing his brows at the ground, just like he was doing himself a second ago. Seeing him like this was…. Something new, alright. He lets out a shaky breath, anticipating a response. He just wants to run and hide for many years to come.
He resisted the urge to look away when the King connected eyes with him again.
“Well? uh. Keep talkin’.”
Escargoon blinked twice, thinking he heard wrong. He opened his mouth in attempt to confirm what he just heard; being interrupted by King Dedede’s noticeably flustered, but commanding voice,
“.....Ya heard me.”
There was an short deafening silence that felt like a eternity to King Dedede's ears. The snail staggered back, trying to process the moment. He rubbed his face roughly and squeezed his eyes shut, as if if he did it hard enough he'd be back in his room waking up from a dream. Whether this was a nightmare or not was a mystery. The King cleared his throat, snapping the mollusc back into reality. The snail peeked through his fingers with a forced looking frown on his face. They made short eye contact before both of them looked away quickly in a flush. Escargoon lets out a long muffled sigh through the overwhelming silence in the room.
“So.. Uh, how does you bein a guy play in’ta dis?” King Dedede questioned, hesitancy in his voice. He continued to press on. The King clenched his fist harder against the wall.
Though expected, the smaller being was still once again taken aback about how curious he must be to keep asking questions after….. What he just said. Escargoon huffed.
“So uhm. Yeah. About that….” He started and struggled to finish. He scratched the back of his head before crossing his arms tightly once again, opening his mouth, “I’d hate to stretch this out any longer, but can you please give me some space first, Your Majesty..? It's gettin' a little...stuffy.“ if the snail wore shirts, he would be pulling at his collar right now.
King Dedede realized how close he was to the snail and jumped, stepping back, his arm straightened out again with his hand still against the wall. Now there's a considerable amount of space between them, the Kings arm is still barricading his escape route to the door. The penguin looked like he wanted to say something to retaliate, but he didn't make a peep. He just silently waited for the snail to continue what he was saying, trying to not watch the sweat beads roll off of the mollusc's face. The silence from the King set a slight uneasiness in the stomach of the smaller being but he tried to ignore it.
“A-anyways…..so. To put it simple enough, I have…...ahem. B-both….. Genitals.” Escargoon spoke out while looking off to the side, loud enough for the King to hear, but quiet enough that if anyone were to be eavesdropping through the two doors, it wouldn't be heard. A tightness rose in Escargoon's throat, and he desperately tried to gulp it down. The Kings eyes widened at the answer but his lips stayed sealed shut, his gaze flickering up and down Escargoon's frame in an rushed attempt to comprehend what was being said. The King slightly backed away from the wall unconsciously, his arm leaving an exit for Escargoon to quickly book it, who surprisingly hasn't noticed the opportunity yet. A quiet echo of the snails words bounced in the penguin’s head as he stared at the lips of the mollusc briefly, hearing the snail trying to swallow away the lump lodged in his throat. As he moved his eyes up and looked into the eyes of the snail, not meeting because Escargoon was looking off into the distance, he realized and was embarrassed that both of them seemed to have beet red faces.
“A --what?” King Dedede hushed out, in probably one of the most quietest voices Escargoon has ever heard from him. It made his heart feel like it was being squeezed by a large, unforgiving hand. Pushing that aside, he thought of what to clarify next as he timidly rubbed his arm. He cleared his throat as he prepared to speak,
“Understand that, Your Majesty, a snail's anatomy just happens to include both packages. That's…. That's all-- hypothetically, under my shell. I thought, might as well tell you so you would stop asking…..thats. Thats what you were asking about, right?” he sighed out and laughed, squeezing his arm at his side.
"Uh, y-yeah." The King's voice stuttered out, the mollusc easily catching the uncertainty in his voice.
”..Even though it's not technically under my shell like you've been asking, per se..” Looking down at his body, and squinting. Suddenly realizing he shouldn't have brought up his nether region, he shifted uncomfortably at the silence; realizing silently that his Majesty never really did ask Directly about That. He aggressively pushed the thought to the back of his head because the more he would think about it the more red-faced and shameful he would feel.
He glances back up at Dedede. The King noticed the snail was looking at him and tried to play off where his eyes happened to gravitate and remained for an tad too long. Dedede fidgeted in place, even though he kept on a stoic face. Escargoon tried his best to ignore him out of embarrassment and peeled open his tightened lips apart and kept speaking,
“As doctor has informed you previously-- literally, all that's under my shell is my organs.” The quiet response from the penguin urged the snail to continue.
Escargoon hesitantly lifted his shaky hand forwards the tubby king’s chest. What could he lose now.
“Like your kidney..” He said as he placed his hand somewhat near where the kidney would usually be.
“Your lungs..” Placing his hand around the middle of the king’s chest.
“Ya know…..uh. Your.. heart.” The King expected the sensation of a hand on his chest, but watched as the smaller hand retreated back to the sides of the snail. Feeling almost disappointed, he trailed his eyes back up to the mollusc’s face, reading his expression. They made nervous eye contact once again. Neither of them willing to pull away first.
The silence abruptly broke, “HEHEH. Well, UH, thanks for tellin' me, good ol’ BUDDY! I ‘ppreciate it.--” his loud voice didn't even catch Escargoon off guard, but rather made him physically relax a bit. The King nervously peered at the mollusc's frame and how after yelling, they seemed to noticeably un-tense. The King thought in the back of his head, if the snail’s back wasn't pressed against the wall, he would be hitting his back with all his strength. ‘Cus that's thats what friends do. Pat backs. Really hard. Yeah.’ He thought.
Escargoon let out a chuckle and simpered at His Majesty, glad he was all back to his usual behavior. The king soaked up the sound like he was a sponge in water. Watching Escargoon's chest move up and down, getting mesmerized but trying to pull his eyes away as the snail stops laughing; panicking internally that he had noticed him staring. The brief moment felt like forever, but so short at the same time. He looked off to the side avoiding the mollusc's eyes, bringing one arm to the back of his head and awkwardly scratching at his hat. He attempts to laugh back, to fill the silence with something, anything. 'What the hecks up wit' me??' He yelled to himself in his head.
“Are you feeling okay, Your Majesty? You're awfully skittish.” He questioned, squinting faintly at the king. He caught sight the penguin’s arm on the side of his eye twitching ever so slightly. A small hint of teasing could almost be heard in the snail’s voice, or it could be just his imagination. Just now the mollusc is aware of the opening to the doors as the King’s arm is not propped up on the wall anymore. His arm twitches to run, but he stays in place; his brain pressing him to stay.
“Who me?? I'm jus…...ya know. Thinkin’.” He brings his arm down to his sides and nervously squints at the wall to his right, trying to focus on something else rather than the small frame in front of him.
“Oh really? What about, Sire?” Escargoon decided then and there, to not hold back. He let himself smirk at the King, curious to how he would react to teasing. He had an slight feeling he wouldn't get smacked upside the head with a tension like this. If he would, he was willing to take that risk.
His majesty gave him a glare that had a hint of playfulness in them. Escargoon was glad to have the atmosphere clear up a bit and chuckled at the bigger person, placing his arms on his hips pretentiously.
The king made an tsk noise, the snail watched his expression change as he actually started to think about the question. ‘This is quite fun.’ The mollusc thought as he started to go red from second embarrassment, seeing the King get sweaty and fidgety. It looked like he was trying to figure out a way to change the subject without making it too obvious, but nothing but the snail would pop up in his head. ’My god is he transparent.’ The snail thought. Escargoon kept watching his expression as the penguin stared off to somewhere else in the room with wary eyes.
“So what is it, Your Majesty? We’re friends, aren't we?” Escargoon held back a snicker, leaning off the wall behind him and forwards the tubby frame, mocking him.
‘How dare he try ‘ta bully me while HE’S ‘th one against ‘th wall!’ He boomed in his head, furrowing his brows and unconsciously puffing his cheeks out a little and crossing his arms tightly across his chest. Escargoon tried his damnest to hold back a laugh at the sight of the King being even more so stubborn but PLUS a side dish of…...cute. I mean, what’s with that! He ended up snorting, covering up his mouth as if it would hide the fact that we was smirking.
“ I'm jus’…...curious. T….. ‘Ta what it looks like ‘n all.”
Escargoon almost choked on the spit at the back of this throat. Thoughts immediately started racing uncontrollably as he thumped back onto the wall behind him, looking at the floor with stern eyes and a bright red face. He huffed out as he could feel the eyes of the penguin on him. ‘Oh no. What have I gotten myself into.’ He felt stiff, being on the spotlight once again. King Dedede shuffled around, not knowing what to do with his arms, nor himself.
“Oh ya know….. Th..the usual..” He mustered up just barely out of his throat, hoping it didn't sound as shaky and vulnerable as it did out loud than it did in his head.
The snail heard a brief hum in response. The mollusc breathed out a held in breath that he didn't even know he was holding back. He wondered to the heavens why things kept getting so awkward. ‘What's goin’ on in that damned tiny brain of his!’ He thought.
The silence kept on, though in both of their heads were anything BUT silent.