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Being competent is exhausting. All day long, Hermione makes important decisions—so many that she hardly has the time to choose her lunch. Or make it.
Or eat it.
And her startlingly competent coworker has everything in order—his job, his health, even his six-year-old daughter. After witnessing her plight, he offers to take a load off her shoulders. Help her out with things like...lunch.
It should be embarrassing.
It is embarrassing.
And yet...
She...likes it?
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- English
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Bookmarked by idjr
10 Jul 2026
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Draco and Hermione Make a Porno by TheWitchfluencer
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
22 Jun 2026
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"They get paid to do this?" Malfoy asked finally.
"They do," Theo confirmed. "It’s called Pornography. Muggles have an entire industry. Highly lucrative business. People get paid to have sex with each other in all sorts of delightfully creative ways, then they film it and other people pay to watch it.”
Malfoy’s finger moved slowly along his jaw, gray eyes still fixed on the screen. "And the people in it. That's their job. They simply" -he watched for a moment longer, his head tilted one way, then the other- "fuck each other? Professionally?"
Theo nodded emphatically. "I'm telling you, muggles are brilliant! Granger introduced me to it, actually," he said proudly. "She works at a porn shop."
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Inspired (very loosely) by Director Kevin Smith's cinematic masterpiece "Zack and Miri Make a Porno," this story explores what happens when two people find love in the unlikeliest of places... each other.
And also, there is porn.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,243
- Chapters:
- 2/15
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- 1
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Bookmarked by idjr
06 Jul 2026
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Hermione Granger has always carried an embarrassing secret: she gets turned on by learning. What happens when a tattooed Draco Malfoy shows up to Eighth Year and won't stop whispering interesting stories in her ear?
- Language:
- English
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- 164,077
- Chapters:
- 14/14
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- 4
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Bookmarked by idjr
19 Jun 2026
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Hermione Granger goes out to see a new band and the lead singer turns out to be the *last* person she expects. A short story of the night Hermione and Draco first met ... again.
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- English
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- 11,230
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- 4/4
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Bookmarked by idjr
11 Jun 2026
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Draco and Hermione are working overtime. It's late, they've gotten into the whisky and Hermione's self-control is at an all-time low -- especially once Draco starts rolling his sleeves.
- Language:
- English
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- 3,227
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- 1/1
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- 7
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- 86
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- 2,866
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- 47,384
Bookmarked by idjr
31 May 2026