later, now
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He hadn't fallen asleep- not fully- but the weary shift of his father's arm over his hip jolted him awake as if he'd been deep in sleep. He felt his muscles tense all over and his heart seize as if he'd been caught somewhere he shouldn't be. Wasn't he somewhere he shouldn't be? His father had allowed him to slip in alongside him on the mattress, but what manner of father let his grown son do such a thing?
Perhaps if he were younger or sick one would not question such a thing, but he was well enough and old enough to know that the nauseous uneasiness in his stomach that formed when his father permitted they rest alongside one another was out of place and wrong. He was old enough and well enough to know that he was feeding something perverted and best left to starve.
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- Part 1 of later, now
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"It would disgrace us. For you to go unmarried would attract questions and scrutiny and you will spend your days enduring all manner of rumours… some may even be worse than the truth. Are you so misled by your desires that you'd find such a thing preferable? Do you think the evenings spent in my bed would make it all worth the trouble?"
That nagging sharpness in the back of Valarr's throat returned, his eyelashes wet with tears when he blinked, "let me-" he cleared his throat as his voice caught, sniffling as Baelor's hand rest against the outside of his thigh. "Take me to bed once and we may never speak of it again."
Let yourself have this, he pleaded.
"She won't know any different when I lay with her, please."
"You cannot promise such a thing; it's a promise far too easily broken."
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A party is thrown in celebration of Valarr's accepted betrothal to Kiera in which he's one of the few not rejoicing; it isn't a wife he wants.Series
- Part 2 of later, now