Chapter Text
“What the fuck?” Cartman takes a few steps forward and then stops when the shock hits him. “Kyle? What are you doing here?”
Kyle gulps, frozen, dumb (in every sense of the word). His wildest, darkest dream has mutated into a nightmare. The kind of nightmare that paralyses you, where every sense abandons you except your sight, and you’re forced to watch the horror unfold.
‘No. Fuck that’ the adrenaline coursing through his veins whispers to him.
He and Id Kyle are both shaking with it, his hands clamped around his clone’s wrists like warm, sweaty handcuffs. When Id Kyle looks at him, his eyes are helpless, pleading, because even now he still thinks that Kyle is the smart one, the capable one. Kyle wishes he could say something without ruining the plan, because they’ve come this far, right? Squeezing his eyes shut, he smashes his lips against Id Kyle’s so hard that a stinging sensation spreads across his mouth, that their breaths become cloying and suffocating through their squished-together noses.
If kissing were a language, Kyle would be asking Id Kyle with this crushing lip-lock: ‘do you trust me?’ and Kyle doesn’t need a special language to know that the way Id Kyle arches into his body and clasps Kyle’s bruised mouth between his lips says: ‘I do.’
Cartman is frozen when they part, brain short-circuiting at the admittedly trippy scene in front of him.
“S-s-suprise!” Kyle exclaims, hoping he can blame the wobbliness of his voice on the breathless kissing he’s been engaging in. He plops himself in Id Kyle’s lap.
“Huh?” the word drops from Cartman’s slack mouth.
Kyle looks between Cartman and Id Kyle, who wears his intrigue a little less… dumbly, than his near-drooling boyfriend. Both are encouraging in their own way.
Kyle nods, drawing his shoulders back a tad to appear confident.
“Kyle and I have been talking, and uh, we wanted to give you a treat for being such a good boyfriend.”
Cartman blinks, squeezing his eyes shut as he shakes his head. He holds up his hands like he must object to such a crazy notion.
“Wait, hold on a second, Kyle actually agreed to this?”
“Uh-huh!” Kyle nods vigorously, before raising his eyebrows at his Id counterpart. “Didn’t you, Kyle?”
Id Kyle breaks into an eager grin, nodding.
“Yeah!” He shifts a little so he can look up at Cartman. “Can you blame me? Seeing you two together all the time, it was bound to give me some ideas.”
Nice
Kyle blinks up at Cartman too, trying to be coquettish, which is something he never thought he would be but it’s a new, fun way to tease Cartman. Who knows? Maybe Id Kyle is rubbing off on him? And speaking of rubbing off…
“So?” Kyle asks innocently before grinding against his clone and the growing erection in his corduroys. “Should we keep going?”
Cartman has managed to shut his mouth, although it looks like he can’t even breathe, face growing red and eyes wide and glassy. He nods.
“Yeah…” he croaks, before coughing into his fist to clear his throat. “Yeah, keep going. Keep kissing…” his breaths are getting shorter, hotter. “Like you were…”
With their plan intact and Cartman’s approval sealed, Kyle leans in to recapture Id Kyle’s lips. He loosens his grip on his poor, sore wrists, hands sliding from his arms to his chest, and Id Kyle is bucking and twitching beneath him to find some relief.
“Holy shit…” Cartman whispers, moving to sit on his bed. He growls softly under his breath when he bumps his knee against the corner of it, unable to take his eyes off them.
Over the sound of their soft, smacking lips and taut, humid breaths Kyle can hear Cartman undoing his pants. Kyle leans forward, sliding his hand up Id Kyle’s neck and sliding his tongue into his mouth at the same time. He cradles his clone’s head, fingering his sweaty curls, while Id Kyle runs his lecherous hands over his hips and tugs at the waistband of his sweats. Cartman chokes when Id Kyle pulls them over Kyle’s ass. He writhes out of them until he’s completely bare.
“Yeah, get naked…” Cartman commands, a ragged whisper. “Both of you…”
Kyle meets the dark, hazy eyes of his clone, and they stare at each other briefly as if hoping for some telepathic conversation, but nothing comes. Still, Id Kyle sits up and Kyle instinctively reaches for the hem of his sweater, so maybe something did spark between them? Like the strange, uncanny attraction that has been growing between them since they first made out.
Once the sweater is discarded, Kyle runs his eyes over the buttons of Id Kyle’s shirt and decides there is no time to untuck the shirt and undo the buttons one by one. No, the best thing to do is to rip the shirt open instead. Id Kyle gasps, and Kyle is breathless and slack-jawed too, in disbelief that he just did something like that.
Cartman meanwhile, moans softly, and starts pumping faster at his cock. Their double act seems to be wearing away any restraint he had.
“Fucking tear into him, babe…” he murmurs, encouraging and excited, an irresistible tone.
Grasping Id Kyle by his ruined shirt Kyle smashes their lips together hard in a numbing kiss, before shoving his clone to the floor. Id Kyle seethes as he hits the deck, but looks up at Kyle with lidded eyes and runs his tongue over the ridge of his teeth, savouring this new flavour of him. Kyle’s mouth tugs into a half-grin, tearing the shirt out of Id Kyle’s pants and fumbling with his belt. He sighs when it’s finally unbuckled and reaches up to reconnect their lips as Kyle pulls down his loose corduroys, ripping them from his ankles.
Kyle cracks an eye open and sees Cartman stroking his cock pretty vigorously, but his squirming hips, and how hard he’s biting his lip, suggests he’s still holding on to his restraint by a thread. Kyle’s competitive little heart flutters at the notion of making it that much harder for him to keep his grip.
He pins Id Kyle down on the carpet again, this time to kiss down his chest. As he does, his mind starts to wander to the conversation they had at the start of the evening about Kyle’s supposed assets. He appreciates his lean, athletic figure more when it’s writhing under his hands and mouth, his brown nipples are cute when they draw taut under his tongue, and he shivers when the muscles in Id Kyle’s stomach tremble just like his own did under Cartman’s touch. He soon finds himself mouthing at Id Kyle’s swollen bulge in his boxers. Id Kyle moans, thighs clenching excitedly for a second, and while Kyle only imagined having one dick in his mouth tonight, maybe it’s not such a bad thing for his first blowjob to be with Id Kyle?
“Hey!” Cartman barks.
Kyle and his clone turn to look at him. Kyle’s hands are frozen on Id Kyle’s hips.
Soaking up the attention, a wicked grin spreads across Cartman’s face.
“You’ve got a perfectly good dick to suck here,” he adds, pointing his flushed, hard cock at them.
Kyle locks eyes with his clone and without another word they crawl over to Cartman, Id Kyle wriggling out of his boxers as he does. Awe overtakes Cartman’s arrogance, slack-jawed and eyes wide once more as he looks down at the two Kyles jostling for position. The pair are pressed tightly together; shoulder to shoulder, sharing breath, and the slightest movement causes the tips of their cocks to kiss too. Kyle’s - unused to foreign touch - twitches violently when that happens.
When Id Kyle doesn’t immediately make a move, Kyle takes his opportunity. Slipping his eyes shut, he drags his tongue slowly up Cartman’s cock from base to tip, choking on a moan as he savours the taste, the heat of his strained skin, the throb of every vein. He tilts his head, brushing his hair against Id Kyle’s, and kisses the tip of Cartman’s cock, using Cartman’s preference for teasing and sloppiness to work through his nerves and build himself up for more. Soon his lips are slick with spit and pre-cum, and his eyes drift half-open, to take in Cartman’s flushed cheeks, heaving chest and the strangely overwhelmed look on his face before he closes his mouth fully over the bulbous head and starts sucking slowly.
“Unnh…” Cartman groans. “Unnh fuck… f-f-fuck that’s so good…” Kyle can hear the grin in his voice when he asks: “You taking notes, Kyle?”
“Uh-huh.” Id Kyle replies, the grin is evident in his breathless voice too. Kyle can feel both pairs of eyes burning holes him as he sucks indulgently. “Id Kyle’s been helping me practice.”
“Shit,” Cartman whispers, and Kyle almost chokes when Cartman’s hand finds his hair, petting it softly. He melts into the touch. “Guess you two have made up then, huh?”
“You could say that,” Id Kyle answers coolly.
Kyle cracks an eye open to see Id Kyle smirking at him. He tries to return the smirk but it’s hard when his mouth is full. To confirm that he and Id Kyle are all good, Kyle slowly slides his mouth off of Cartman’s cock, and holding it at the base, directs it towards Id Kyle’s mouth. He gladly receives it, instantly taking it deep into his throat, cheeks hollowed as he sucks vigorously and pumps at the base so hard that his fist smacks against Cartman’s balls and makes them jiggle.
Kyle watches, mesmerised, and tries to take some mental notes.
“Aaaah!” Cartman cries, eyes squeezed shut and body spasming as Id Kyle draws him deep into his throat. He tips his head back and lets out a long, laboured whine. “J–J-Jesus, Kyle…”
Id Kyle pops off Cartman’s now glistening cock with a slurp and a string of saliva, looking practically drunk as he tilts it in Kyle’s direction. He’s still dizzy from watching Id Kyle’s impressive display and he keeps his eyes on his debauched clone as he kisses the gleaming head. Id Kyle’s eyes glint, impressed and mischievous, and trained on Kyle as he drags his lips across the head too in a sloppy kiss. They may not be able to read each other’s minds, but - as they lap and lave at Cartman’s cock like it’s a popsicle on a humid, sticky day - they clearly agree that sharing is better than taking turns.
Cartman’s breaths are laboured, and he chokes on each one. Shuddering, he groans with rapture.
“This is the greatest night of my fucking life…” he whispers, before threading his fingers through Kyle’s hair above the nape of his neck.
His nose bumps against Id Kyle’s, and he realises that Cartman’s other hand is ensnared in his clone’s hair, taking advantage of the fact that they are teasing his sticky head with their tongues to coax them into making out. Well, it’s more like they’re making out with his dick, their lips smushed up against it, mouths smeared with pre-cum, and when the tips of their tongues do occasionally meet around the wall of muscle separating them, they make choked-off, awkward little chuckles and amused snorts.
Wanting something harder, faster, tighter, Cartman soon takes the opportunity to guide their heads and slam their throats on his cock, alternating between the two of them. Kyle’s eyes almost pop out of his sockets initially, but he soon gets the hang of deep-throating, studying Id Kyle breathlessly and hoping to emulate his technique for the brief few seconds he gets to see it.
Cartman’s grip on their hair eventually eases, and they return to their explorative kisses and licks up and down his shaft. Kyle moans as he does so, mainly from the effort. He’s got to give it to Id Kyle, this servicing stuff is a hell of a workout. His face is practically sizzling with sweat and his jaw is aching already.
A groan vibrates through Cartman’s gritted teeth.
“I’m gonna cum…” he mutters, and he sounds a bit pissed by that fact. It pisses Kyle off a little too, at least Cartman has had some touch, some relief! He’s rock hard, and Cartman has been edging him all this time! “Kyle, I’m gonna-fuck!” he cries, with no agitation in his voice at all. Just pure bliss. “Fuck yes!”
Kyle gasps when three hot ropes fly between him and Id Kyle and streak across his face. The room is filled with a chorus of panting breaths, and when Kyle’s eyes open and he sees Id Kyle’s delighted grin, paying no mind to the cum clinging to his cheek, his grimace melts away. With a soft, low hum in the back of his throat, Id Kyle leans in to kiss Kyle’s lips. It’s a kiss that says ‘I’m proud of you.’ Kyle is too stunned to return the kiss properly, and Id Kyle soon pulls back, cupping the side of his face as he laps up the mess on Kyle’s cheek. To his surprise, Kyle isn’t grossed out at all by this. How different is Id Kyle’s saliva from his own, right? It’s actually kind of comforting, in a mindless, animalistic way.
“Damn, Kyle, you’re a fucking freak…”
They both turn to look at Cartman, who is leaning back and resting on his palms, staring at them with awed delight. He shakes his head and chuckles.
“I had no idea.”
Still cupping the side of Kyle’s face, Id Kyle narrows his eyes at him and scowls playfully.
“If you got your head out of your sex doll’s ass once in a while you’d realise there’s a lot you don’t know about me…”
It’s disconcerting for Kyle, to see Cartman direct his knowing grin - normally reserved for him - at someone else. Something that isn’t disconcerting or surprising however, is the way Cartman’s eyes flash the way they always do when he’s thought of a great idea… according to him, anyway.
“That gives me an idea.” He looks at Kyle. “On the bed. All fours.”
He gets to his feet, and when Kyle is naked and on his knees before him, Cartman has never looked taller. Kyle tries to get to his feet as steadily as he can - he still has his pride after all, and brushes past an amused Cartman to crawl onto his bed. In this all-fours stance his ass is spread a little already, and he tries not to shake under Cartman’s stare.
He’s going to touch me.
He’s going to put his fingers in me and fuck me.
These thoughts make the air in the room thinner and thinner. Kyle can hear his heart pounding in his ears.
“You wanna take his mouth?” Cartman asks nonchalantly. Kyle can hear him disrobing, dropping his clothes on the floor.
“Uh, sure,” Id Kyle replies, climbing on the bed too. He kneels in front of Kyle, and it makes the mattress feel firmer, evened out, like he’s on solid ground. He looks down at Kyle. “Is that cool?”
Kyle blinks. He doesn’t know if it is, but he wants it to be. He wants this so bad that it scares him. He grins.
“Fuck yeah.”
His breath stills when Cartman leans over him, his bare chest meeting Kyle’s bare back. His hands are on his sides, holding his quivering chest. He grins against Kyle’s ear.
“That’s my good boy…” he whispers, kissing his ear before moving down.
He nuzzles the base of Kyle’s neck, mouths at his shoulder, dragging his hands down Kyle’s sides as he maps a trail of kisses on his spine that leads to his tailbone. He looks up when he feels a hand in his hair. Id Kyle is beaming down at him, and he mouths ‘you’re doing great.’ Kyle feels so giddy with how ridiculous this all is, with the adrenaline, and he swallows down the urge to laugh manically. Instead, he grins and mouths ‘thanks.’
Cartman’s hands are on his ass now, his grip firm and the irrational thought sprints through Kyle’s mind that Cartman could tear him in half. Of course, he doesn’t. He squeezes Kyle’s cheeks together, kneading them and sighing a long, hot breath that makes goosebumps prickle on the backs of Kyle’s thighs. Is he always this indulgent with Id Kyle? Is the novelty yet to wear off?
He spreads Kyle’s cheeks and Kyle takes a deep breath through his nose, preparing for some kind of entry. He expects to feel a trembling tongue, a hot breath and soft lips, or a thick finger stretching him, but instead he feels a hand sliding under him to fondle his heavy balls and aching erection. He feels Cartman’s hair tickle the top of his thigh, and then a hot, wet clasp around the head of his cock that makes his knees give way.
“Unnh yes!” he groans, long and unabashed. His arms start shaking as Cartman suckles at his cock. He drops his head and whispers: “Yes…”
Id Kyle snickers, and he and Kyle share secret smiles as Cartman plays with Kyle’s balls. He starts by rubbing his tongue under them and then sucks them one by one. Soon his hands are back on his ass again, spreading his cheeks, and Kyle actually feels embarrassed by the way his hole twitches, eager to receive the same treatment as his cock and balls. Cartman doesn’t disappoint though.
“Aaah!” Kyle yelps, eyes flying wide open as Cartman drags his tongue up his crack. “Aaaah…”
He can feel the corners of Cartman’s mouth turning up into a wicked, pleased smile before his tongue finds his hole again. Kyle jolts, slips against the sheets like he wants to get away, but Cartman grips his hips tighter and keeps him in place, lapping carefully with his tongue to ease Kyle in. It’s not long before Kyle is melting into the sheets, scented with sweat and crushed rose petals, grinding against Cartman’s face so his tongue can delve deeper inside.
Kyle lifts his head from the mattress at the sound of slapping skin and hitched breath. Id Kyle’s cock looks huge in his hand as he pumps at it desperately, and Kyle’s gaze climbs his heaving chest to reach his face; dark eyes fixed on Kyle and a pleading crease in his brow.
With a small huff, Kyle shifts a little so he can reach up and lap at the head of Id Kyle’s cock.
“Oh fuck…” Id Kyle shudders, relieved. “Fuck yes…”
Kyle closes his mouth over the head, sucking shallowly but his muffled moans send vibrations down Id Kyle’s cock that heighten his pleasure.
A couple of minutes later Cartman pulls back, and Kyle is too busy focusing on Id Kyle to be embarrassed about how his hot, stretched hole throbs in the absence of Cartman’s mouth. Maybe because he knows it’s going to get filled again soon?
“Took you long enough…” Id Kyle remarks to Cartman.
Kyle smothers a chuckle. He’s got to give it to Id Kyle, he’s really trying with the snide remarks. Cartman chuckles too, low and preoccupied.
“What can I say? It’s one sweet ass.”
Kyle can’t smother the yelp he makes when Cartman smacks his ass. He rubs his fingers over Kyle’s crack before dipping into his cheeks and stroking Kyle’s hole that instinctively clutches his fingertips, drawing him in. To think he was worried about how a dick would even fit inside him. Never did he think he would be so willing and ready.
“Such a needy hole…” Cartman murmurs, before he pushes his fingers deeper inside. Kyle arches his back, mouth sliding off Id Kyle’s cock. He whines as Cartman strokes his insides. “Kyle’s cock in your mouth isn’t enough for you, huh?” he goads. “You want more? Want it in your ass too?”
Kyle nods, whimpering like an animal begging for a treat. He knows he’s more articulate than this, but fuck it, he’s never felt freer to vocalise his desires in whatever way he wants.
Cartman doesn’t retract his fingers straight away. He pushes just a little deeper, increases his propulsions just a tad, drawing another whine out of Kyle when he finally slides his fingers out of him. The mattress shifts and creaks as Cartman gets into position behind him, and Kyle’s throat tightens when he feels Cartman’s cock slip between his cheeks. He leans in to take Id Kyle’s cock in his mouth again, hoping that it will coax him to relax his throat, keep him calm and distract him, but before he can wrap his lips around it, Id Kyle grips his hair. Kyle looks up to protest, but Id Kyle shakes his head subtly before he can say anything, with a small, reassuring smile. Kyle swallows hard, and vows to keep his eyes on his clone as the head of Cartman’s cock kisses his opening and then-
“FUCK!” Kyle screams as Cartman breaches him. He grips the sheets so hard that his shoulders shake. He hangs his head. “Aaaahh fuck…”
“You can take it…” Cartman says, voice low and velvety. He kneads Kyle’s hips, embedding his handprints into them as he picks up the pace of his short, hard thrusts. “Come on, baby, show Kyle how much you can take…”
He can’t resist a challenge from Cartman anymore than he can resist his touch or his kiss, and he still can’t believe that he now knows what that feels like. All thanks to Id Kyle. He keeps his lidded eyes on his clone as he takes him into his mouth once again.
Cartman groans, thrumming with approval. Kyle may love him disagreeable, but the thrill of pleasing him is something he could get used to, especially when it’s sure to result in amazing rewards for him.
“Fuck yes…” Cartman murmurs, gritty and breathless. “Good boy… fuck yeah, do you like that?”
Kyle moans gladly around his clone’s cock, who is petting his hair while Kyle sucks him off at the same pace as Cartman’s vigorous thrusts.
He thought it would be difficult to take one cock, let alone two, and while it is overwhelming, exhausting, and totally engulfing his senses, it’s also a pleasant ego stroke to know that you’re making two people feel so good. Nobody may be stroking Kyle’s cock right now, but the moans and ragged breaths raining down on him, the hot touches, and the feel, and the taste, and the stretch of two throbbing cocks inside him is making him dribble pre-cum freely all over Cartman’s sheets.
“Sh-shit, I’m so close…” Id Kyle gasps, before groaning through gritted teeth. “Aaah fuck…”
“Fuck his throat…” Cartman replies, more a command than a suggestion. “He can take it…”
Id Kyle tugs on Kyle’s sweaty, mussed hair. Their eyes meet, and Kyle nods without hesitation. Gripping his hair tighter, Id Kyle holds his head in place while Kyle drops his mouth open. He enters Kyle’s mouth slowly enough that he starts to salivate and drool, but soon the head of his cock is pressed to Kyle’s throat, his nose nestled in his pubes. Id Kyle doesn’t move, presumably so Kyle can get used to the feeling. Kyle coughs, his throat contracting around Id Kyle’s cock, and his eyes watering. It’s then Id Kyle retreats a little, before thrusting all the way in again. They both shudder.
“Yeah…” Id Kyle moans, gradually picking up his thrusts. “Yeah, that’s it… “
Cartman snickers darkly.
“We’re gonna fill you up from both ends, greedy slut…”
Kyle moans, breathless from the pounding he’s receiving from Cartman, choked by the cock invading his mouth, and although the moans from Id Kyle and Cartman are encouraging, Kyle doesn’t exactly feel deserving of them. He’s just taking it, but hey, he’s taking it well. Maybe that’s all that matters? And maybe he doesn’t care? This is probably the only place in his world where he doesn’t have to try to be the smartest, the most capable, the most competent. Here, he can be vulnerable, and bare, and surrender to all these big, heartstopping, core-shaking feelings.
He gags, eyes widening when Id Kyle unloads two hard ropes down his throat. He’s whining through gritted teeth and pulls at Kyle’s hair hard enough to pull out a clump or two as he comes down from his orgasm.
“You alright?” he asks when he’s done, stroking Kyle’s sore scalp.
Kyle meets his eyes, chin smeared with pre-cum and saliva, and nods.
“He’s fine.” Cartman grunts in between thrusts. “Now you see why I’m obsessed with him, right?”
“Uh-huh.” Id Kyle grins, giving Kyle a wink before he leans over to get closer to Cartman.
He tries to crane his neck up so he can look at them properly, but he only sees their lips meet for a second before Cartman’s bone-melting thrusts send him slumping into the sheets, ass high in the air.
“You wanna get filled up too, don’t you?” he hears Cartman murmur.
“Mmm-hmm…” Id Kyle moans.
Cartman actually growls.
“Fuck yeah…” He picks up his pace, and over the sound of his hips smacking against Kyle’s ass, Kyle can hear the frantic kisses being exchanged. “Fucking freak… Turn around… bend over…”
Id Kyle obeys, so now he’s on all fours in front of Kyle with his feet either side of his head. Huffing, Cartman adjusts, folding his body over Kyle and impaling him on his cock.
“CARTMAN!!” Kyle screams. Thank god it’s muffled into the sheets otherwise the whole block would’ve heard, he’s sure.
He’s gone deeper than ever, the deepest he can go.
“Feels good, doesn’t it, baby?” Cartman teases. He rolls his hips gently, giving Kyle minimal relief. He nips at his ear. “Being this deep inside you?”
“Unnh-huh…” Kyle groans, eyes rolling back, and unfazed by the puddle of drool beneath him.
Cartman grins against the shell of his ear, before it fades into sweet kisses that wander into his hair. He then shifts again so Kyle is face to, uh, ass with his clone, who has helpfully spread his cheeks open to make Cartman’s job a little easier.
“Aaaah!” he cries when Cartman laps at his opening. “Aaaah my god…”
Cartman pulls back with a thrumming, hungry breath.
“Fuck…” he whispers, voice laboured. He draws another long moan out of Kyle as he rolls his hips again, massaging his overstimulated prostate with his cock. “Both your asses are amazing…” he earns a couple of broken, needy whimpers from Id Kyle as he laps at his opening again. Kyle can hear the grin in his voice when he says: “Try it…”
Kyle drags his head up from the sheets, and Cartman grips the nape of his neck and squeezes as he guides his mouth to Id Kyle’s tight, pulsing hole, glistening with Cartman’s spit.
Exhausted, Kyle pants, ragged as he rubs his tongue against the ring of muscle. Cartman seems impressed however, shuddering and continuing his indulgent, deep thrusts.
“Th-that’s it… fuck yeah…” he snickers evilly again. “You like that tight little hole, huh?”
Kyle moans enthusiastically. Cartman’s thrusts have pushed his face deeper into Id Kyle’s ass, and he’s graduated from curious licks to eager kisses and nuzzles. His swollen cock throbs even more when he thinks about what it would be like to bury it inside Id Kyle, to draw out some needy, ecstatic cries from him.
As if Cartman can read his mind, he asks: “You want it squeezing around your cock?”
Kyle nods, eyes squeezing shut as he emits a pleading cry.
A beat passes. Cartman gulps hard.
“On your sides…” he commands breathlessly.
Id Kyle again does as he’s told, rolling on his side. Cartman doesn’t pull out of Kyle as he rolls over too, so now Kyle is sandwiched between his best frenemy and his clone.
“Ready, Kyle?” Cartman asks.
Id Kyle nods, shuffling closer. He rubs his ass against Kyle’s poor, aching cock and it’s only then that it fully clicks for Kyle what is happening.
Cartman is breathing harshly in his ear, hot, humid, pounding against Kyle’s brain like a rainforest storm on a window. One of Cartman’s hands creeps up his chest and blindly circles his nipple. Kyle bites back a whimper, toes curling as the sensitive skin of his areola contracts under his touch.
“Now…” he commands softly, pausing to kiss behind Kyle’s ear and inhale the sweat-shampoo scent of his hair. “Slide your cock inside him…”
Kyle swallows, his throat sore and thick. With shaking hands he grips Id Kyle’s hips and pulls him even closer. His cock finds his hot hole and his entire body clenches when his head slips inside the impossibly tight opening. His mouth drops open, a howl dying to come out but his voice box is a little too worse for wear to produce it.
Cartman’s approving moan vibrates down Kyle’s spine.
“How does it feel?” he whispers in his ear.
“Good!” Kyle cries, sharp and sweet. Id Kyle is trembling in his hands, and it occurs to Kyle that they’re going to have matching handprints tomorrow. “So…” he thrusts slowly, and gladly drinks in Id Kyle’s moans. “So good…so tight… Cart- Eric!” he yelps, amazed he caught himself. Emboldened and desperate, he starts humping Id Kyle faster. “I-I-I’m gonna cum…”
Cartman brands a long, pleased groan into the nape of Kyle’s neck. He’s stopped moving his hips now, letting Kyle fuck himself on him while he fucks his clone.
“I’m close too, baby, but just give us a couple of thrusts…” He buries his face in Kyle’s hair, and Kyle can hear a soft growl slip through his gritted teeth. “Come on…”
Kyle thrashes his head a little, and he can feel the veins in his neck straining against his skin as he obeys, stringing his moans and cries through gritted teeth too as he frantically fucks Id Kyle. Id Kyle cries out too, arching his back and clambering behind him to dig his nails into Kyle’s bruised hip in encouragement.
“Fuck yeah, that’s it…” Cartman murmurs, pressed to Kyle’s back. “Fuck yourself on me…”
“I’m gonna cum…” Id Kyle announces, anguished. His breaths are coming at an alarming rate. “I’m gonna…. Aaaah!” he screams, writhing against the sheets and clutching Kyle’s cock as he reaches his orgasm.
The dying electric candles explode in Kyle’s vision, burning white, and he feels like he may pass out when he finally cums too.
“Fuck!” he screams, squirming and sobbing in Cartman’s arms. “Fuck… aaah fuck…”
Cartman grunts, feral as he holds Kyle closer, clinging to him for dear life as he pounds his sore, throbbing hole. Kyle’s cock slips out of Id Kyle, still stewing in post-orgasm bliss, and he gasps at the amount of cum that drips out of him, that’s coating his ass.
“Fuck… Fuck!” Cartman shouts, fucking Kyle wildly and kissing and mouthing at his hair and skin like he wants to devour him. Kyle can tell he’s close, and as he speaks each word is punctuated by a thrust: “This. Is. The. Greatest. Fucking. Night. Of. My. LIFE!” he screams, filling Kyle’s ears with ringing and his insides with thick, hard ropes that feel like they’re not going to stop.
Kyle doesn’t exactly help matters by clenching around Cartman’s cock to milk some more out of him, but Cartman’s whines when he does are irresistible. When he’s done, Cartman cups his chin with his index finger and thumb and turns his head towards him. They stare at each other for a minute, but Kyle has no idea what to do except laugh hoarsely. This is his wildest dream come true, after all. How is he supposed to act normal? Cartman laughs too, pressing their faces together before clasping Kyle’s lips.
Their mouths slide off each other when Id Kyle sidles up to them. Simultaneously their bodies relax, curled up together in a hot, soft tangle of limbs. Cartman leans over to kiss Id Kyle, and it occurs to Kyle that he hasn’t felt jealous once tonight watching the two of them kiss and touch each other.
When they pull back, Id Kyle catches Kyle’s lips too, much to his surprise. Cartman chuckles warmly, and Kyle snorts softly against Id Kyle’s cheek as he sinks into the kiss.
More kisses are exchanged, but in the crumpled sheets, the low glow of the candles, and amidst their wandering hands it’s hard to tell who is kissing who.
Despite being crammed in Cartman’s bed in his stuffy room, Kyle is having the heaviest, deepest sleep he’s had in a while. The post-sex endorphins help of course, and the rise and fall of Cartman’s chest against his back helped carry him off to sleep. His thought upon drifting off was: ‘I could get used to this.’
But he’s yanked out of his slumber by an ominous whisper, a knowing grin pressed to his ear.
“I know who you are.”
Kyle’s eyes shoot open, and he flails against the sheets in a delirious, half-asleep panic that causes him to kick Cartman in the shin. Cartman seethes, but Kyle doesn’t apologise.
“Jesus, Cartman!”
“Ssshh, you’re gonna wake Id Kyle.”
Heart still pounding, he rolls over, immediately squished against Cartman’s soft, sticky chest. He scowls at him, bleary-eyed.
“What the fuck is going on?”
“Maybe we should talk in the hall?” Cartman asks. Oh, now he wants to be sensible when he should’ve opened with that instead of the creepy-ass line he chose.
Kyle huffs softly.
“Well, yeah!”
They roll out of bed, and in the dim light Cartman’s hand finds Kyle’s wrist to guide him. It’s not the first time Cartman has done that, but for the first time Kyle doesn’t flinch, or reflexively wrench out of his grip. After tonight, all his instincts when it comes to Cartman have shifted, changed.
He blinks, his mind returning to the present, the dark room and his bare skin.
“My clothes…”
Kyle can make out Cartman shaking his head.
“No time…”
“What?!”
Next thing he knows Cartman is shoving him through the door, and he squints at the sudden, harsh light of the hallway. Menawhile Cartman, fucking asshole, is leaning against the doorframe, smirking. Away from Id Kyle and the horny spell they were all under, Kyle is very much aware of his nakedness. Kind of like Adam and Eve when they ate the apple. He quickly covers his junk and surveys the hallway like a meerkat on high alert.
“Dude, what if your mom wakes up and-”
“She won’t,” Cartman cuts in confidently. “Once she’s taken her Mirtazapine she’s dead to the world. Besides, don’t try to change the subject.” He chuckles, narrowing his eyes and stepping closer. “You’re not Id Kyle.”
Kyle sighs, shoulders sagging. There’s no use in denying it now, he just wishes Cartman didn’t have to give him a heart attack and drag him out of bed to tell him that he found out their dirty little secret.
“Wow, great, Cartman, you figured it out!” He frowns, eyebrows knitting together. “How did you figure it out?”
Cartman’s smirk fades and he crosses his arms tighter.
“Something felt off from the moment we left for the movies but I didn’t know for sure until we kissed.”
Kyle blinks.
“Shit, really?”
He knows Cartman can be a good actor (bullshitter) but he’s impressed by how well he hid it. Although, maybe Kyle was so enraptured, and touch-starved and fucking needy that he overlooked what was right in front of him. It’s hard to see through the haze of lust.
“Uh-huh.” Cartman nods, smiling again, almost drunk. Dreamy. “Id Kyle is great and all, but when I kissed you…” he stops, as if his mind and mouth are just catching up to his heart, that seems to have sprung a leak on all these potent, messy feelings. He swallows. “Nothing has ever felt like that. “
“Oh…” Kyle whispers, chest stinging.
“Which is wild because as far as I know the last person you kissed was Heidi when we were, like, ten.”
“No, actually!” Kyle snaps, but now is not the time to get into his kissing practice with Id Kyle. “So…” he sighs. “You knew the entire time we were…” his sentences are glitching now, and Cartman’s amused expression is not helping. “When the three of us were… um…”
“Fucking like nasty pigs?” Cartman nods, tilting his chin up at him and smirking proudly. “Yeah, I knew.”
“And you went along with it?”
Cartman’s eyebrows shoot up and an incredulous scoff falls from his lips.
“Duh! My wildest fucking dreams were coming true, Kyle, I wasn’t gonna pass that up!”
Kyle sighs through his nose, eyes slipping shut as he nods. He can’t argue with Cartman’s reasoning.
“Okay, I get that.”
“You do?”
“Yeah,” Kyle replies matter-of-factly as he opens his eyes. “This…” he takes a breath. “This whole thing was kind of my idea.”
Cartman’s face is frozen, dumbfounded, unable to process any more surprises. It makes Kyle fidget, agitated.
“Don’t look so shocked, Cartman!” he snaps. “Seeing a clone of myself be all over you has really fucked me up. You were driving me crazy and I just had to know…”
“What?” Cartman blinks, coming out of his trance.
Kyle looks at the floor, his toes curling into the carpet when he admits: “What it was like to be with you.” Braver now, he lifts his gaze to Cartman’s face. “Even if I only got to do it once.”
“Once?” Cartman replies, his voice hard. That word has seemed to trigger something urgent in him. He steps closer again, and if he takes one more step their bodies will be flush together, their lips right there for the taking. “Who said anything about ‘once?’” he shakes his head. “After tonight I can’t go back to the way things were before.”
Kyle grins, and it’s so heavy with delight that his knees buckle a little bit. He takes that step that draws their lips to each other, magnetic.
“Wait, what does that mean for Id Kyle?” Kyle asks when they part, voice soft and brows knitted.
“Huh?”
“He already feels second best,” Kyle continues, stepping back. “You’re the only thing he has, dude, he doesn’t know life without you. I don’t know how this is gonna work without him feeling resentful. He deserves to be happy, Cartman.”
Cartman tips his head back, and sighs a long, frustrated breath.
“God damn it, you’re right,” he says, much to Kyle’s surprise. He then grins, snapping his fingers. “Hold on, I think I’ve got something.” He holds two hands out to Kyle. “Stand back.”
Kyle frowns, but steps back, and Cartman closes his eyes. He watches with increasing wariness as Cartman’s expression shifts from meditative, to constipated, to ‘about to pop a blood vessel in his temple,’ before suddenly there are three people in the hallway. Kyle, Cartman, and a version of Cartman who is accesorising his usual clothes with a huge, ornate crown and a plush, purple ermine cloak. This clone version of Cartman studies his surroundings as he tries to register what the fuck is going on.
You and me both, man.
Kyle turns to Cartman, slack-jawed.
“What the fuck did you just do?”
“What do you think?” Cartman laughs, kind of giving mad scientist as he throws his arms out at his sides. “I made Id Cartman!”
“The fuck…” Id Cartman murmurs, and Kyle jolts. This catches Id Cartman’s eye, which glints when he grins at Kyle, raking his gaze over him. “God damn…” he whispers, peering behind Kyle to check out his ass. He then turns to Cartman. “Are you two together?”
Cartman’s eyes meet Kyle’s, and they smile in a way that says ‘I’m in if you are.’
“Yeah, we are.” Kyle beams, so stoked on himself that he gets to say that, that he’s not afraid to say that.
Id Cartman grins, nodding at his creator approvingly.
“Nice…”
“Hey bro, your very own Kyle is right in there waiting for you.”
Id Cartman blinks, looks between Kyle and Cartman like he’s afraid they might be pranking him.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah!” Cartman nods, chuckling. “Go get him, man!”
“Sweet!” Id Cartman cheers. “Alright, move, assholes!” he says, as he barges past Cartman to run into his bedroom.
“You wanna hang out downstairs?” Cartman asks, closing the gap between him and Kyle. “Leave those two lovebirds alone?”
Kyle snorts softly. Some quality time with Cartman - his boyfriend - is just what he needs.
“Sure.” He peers over Cartman’s shoulder. “I’d like to get dressed first though, and I think you should too.”
“You really wanna cover up this smokin’ hot bod?” Cartman teases, biting his lip as he tries to pose ‘seductively;’ hands tucked behind his head, tensing his biceps and jutting out his hips.
Kyle snorts again, even louder this time, which is pretty embarrassing but Cartman just snickers fondly.
“I just think there’s a time and a place, that’s all.”
“Man, Id Kyle would have me naked all the time if he could.” Cartman sighs, with a wistfulness that makes Kyle bristle.
“Alright, he may be my clone but that doesn’t mean, we’re like, identical,” Kyle says sternly, raising his eyebrows and pointing a finger at Cartman. “Understood?”
Cartman’s brow creases and his eyes flit back and forth.
“No?”
Kyle sighs, heavily enough to make his chest ache.
“I just don’t want to be compared to him all the time.”
“Are you kidding?” Cartman catches Kyle’s chin between his thumb and index finger before he can turn away. Their eyes meet. “There’s no comparison between you and him.”
They kiss, so Kyle can express his gratitude and Cartman can confirm he means it in a way words never could. Kyle is beaming and misty-eyed when they part, and he slips into Cartman’s bedroom before he notices.
As soon as he enters the room he hears Id Kyle loudly and readily gobbling on Id Cartman’s balls.
Shit, that was fast.
Kyle can’t help but stare at the sight of Id Cartman, lounging on the bed with his pants around his ankles, and Id Kyle kneeling in between them. Horrifyingly, Id Cartman’s eyes meet Kyle’s, and he winks at him, so fucking self-satisfied. Kyle grabs his clothes and scurries out of the room.
“Fuck…” he gasps as he shuts the door behind him.
“What?”
Kyle tosses Cartman’s robe to him.
“He’s got Id Kyle on his knees already sucking his balls.”
Cartman takes the fakest, ‘modest’ sigh and shakes his head, like he can’t believe his own genius.
“Damn, I’m good.”
“You’re a little terrifying, do you know that?” Kyle chuckles, arching an eyebrow at him as he starts to get dressed.
He has so many questions about Cartman’s strange, fucking god-like ability to create life like this, and why the universe would bestow this gift on someone so… unstable. But that’s a question for a more awake Kyle. Right now he just wants to cuddle on the couch with his bizarre boyfriend.
The squeaking of the mattress and the pounding of Id Kyle’s already sore hole started before Cartman and Kyle had booted the Xbox up.
The noise fades into the background as they play, and laugh, and chat, and they soon abandon the video game altogether when they’re too tired to concentrate and their lips and wandering hands are much more appealing.
The sun is coming up when Cartman says: “I think they’re done.”
Kyle blinks, trying to listen out for muffled, ecstatic cries and the sound of the headboard knocking against the wall, but he’s got nothing.
“Let’s go see.”
They climb the stairs and when they reach Cartman’s bedroom his rumpled bed is empty.
“Shit…” Kyle whispers.
“He’s really gone.”
Kyle nods slowly, trying to process it when Id Kyle seemed like he’d be a fixture in his life forever. Yes, perhaps relegated to the footnotes when Kyle moved out but always there. It’s then he notices that Cartman’s bed isn’t entirely empty.
“Wait,” he murmurs, retrieving a folded piece of paper from the twisted sheets. He opens it up and spots Id Kyle’s handwriting. “He left a note…”
“What does it say?” Cartman asks, peering over Kyle’s shoulder.
Kyle clears his throat before he reads:
“‘Dear Kyle and Eric, sorry that I left in such a hurry. My Eric was eager to take me home! I can’t believe I can finally say that now. My Eric! He’s absolutely perfect, and just when I thought our Eric couldn’t get any better! I feel that I owe a huge thanks to you both.
Eric, thank you for being you. Kyle is lucky to have you and I know he will cherish you. After his performance tonight, I have no doubts that he will keep you satisfied.’”
Kyle flushes hard, but his face cools when Cartman snickers softly and places a kiss on his cheek. He takes a breath and continues:
“‘Kyle, thank you for being my friend. No one has understood me like you, and believed that I could be so much more than what I thought was possible.
Lastly, thank you both for a wonderful night I will never forget. I’ll miss you both so much, but maybe we’ll cross paths in Imaginationland someday. I hope we will.
Yours, always, Id Kyle.’” Kyle coughs gently, surprised to find a lump in his throat. “Wow…”
Cartman responds… with a sniffle.
“Are you crying?” Kyle asks with a soft smile, turning to look at a misty-eyed Cartman.
“Wh-no!” he snaps. “No, I’m just tired, a-a-and allergic to these flowers or some-”
Kyle cuts him off by wrapping his arms around his middle and squeezing.
“I’m gonna miss him too,” he whispers into his chest. He looks up at Cartman, noticing that his chin is still a little quivery. “But hey, he’s got his Cartman now. He’s happy.”
Cartman blinks rapidly, getting the tears out of his eyes as his chin stills and a grin spreads across his face.
“And I have my Kyle,” he says, before cupping Kyle’s face and bringing him to his lips in a big, triumphant kiss. “Finally.”