Chapter Text
An hour and a half later, neither of them was entirely sober.
Not disastrously drunk.
Just drunk enough that their thoughts no longer stayed where they were supposed to.
Draco was sitting far closer than he had been originally.
At some point their shoulders had started touching.
Neither of them remembered when.
Neither of them had moved away.
The fairy lights cast soft gold across the room.
Empty bottles sat scattered across Harry's desk.
The snow outside had thickened, blanketing the castle grounds in white.
Inside, everything felt warm.
Comfortably warm.
Harry's face was flushed.
Draco's was too.
The alcohol had taken the sharp edges off their nerves, leaving only honesty behind.
Dangerous honesty.
The kind both of them had spent months avoiding.
Draco was staring at Harry again.
Not even pretending otherwise.
Just openly looking at him.
Harry noticed.
His stomach immediately flipped.
"What?" he asked, laughing nervously.
Draco blinked slowly.
"You have really pretty eyes."
The room went silent.
Harry froze.
Draco froze.
For one brief moment it seemed like neither of them understood what had just happened.
Then Draco's eyes widened.
"Oh."
Harry nearly dropped his bottle.
"Oh?"
Draco covered his face.
"Oh, Merlin."
A laugh burst out of Harry before he could stop it.
Draco groaned.
"No, don't laugh. That was horrible."
"It was surprisingly smooth right up until the panic."
"I didn't mean to say it out loud!"
Harry couldn't stop smiling.
The alcohol made it impossible.
The warmth in his chest made it worse.
"You think my eyes are pretty?"
Draco peeked through his fingers.
His face was scarlet.
Harry immediately found it adorable.
A dangerous realization.
"Shut up."
"You do."
"Potter."
"You do."
Draco dropped his hands.
"I've thought your eyes were pretty for years."
Silence.
Harry stopped breathing.
Draco seemed equally surprised by his own confession.
Then, because apparently alcohol had removed every self-preservation instinct he possessed, he continued.
"Honestly, that's probably where the problem started."
Harry blinked.
"The problem?"
"Yes."
Draco gestured vaguely at him.
"You."
Harry laughed.
"Helpful."
"You were supposed to be annoying."
"I am annoying."
"You are."
"Thanks."
"But then you kept saving people."
Harry groaned.
Draco ignored him.
"And being brave."
"Oh no."
"And stupidly self-sacrificing."
Harry covered his face.
"This is getting worse."
"And then I realized you were attractive."
Harry made a strangled noise.
Draco pointed triumphantly.
"There. Now we're both suffering."
Harry's ears were burning.
His heart was attempting to escape through his ribs.
The alcohol buzzed pleasantly in his veins.
And suddenly he was laughing.
Not because anything was funny.
Because he couldn't believe this was happening.
Draco stared.
"What?"
Harry shook his head.
"You absolute idiot."
Draco looked offended.
"I'm not the one who ignored his crush for three months."
The room went completely silent.
Neither moved.
Neither breathed.
The word hung there.
Crush.
Harry stared.
Draco stared back.
Then both of them spoke at once.
"...Your what?"
"...You heard me."
Harry's pulse thundered.
Draco's cheeks were bright red.
The silence stretched.
Then Harry started laughing again.
Softly.
Disbelievingly.
"You had a crush on me?"
Draco looked horrified.
"HAD?"
Harry laughed harder.
Draco threw a pillow at him.
"HAVE."
The pillow hit Harry square in the chest.
Harry grinned.
The biggest grin Draco had seen all night.
Something soft flickered across Draco's expression.
Because Harry looked happy.
Not uncomfortable.
Not shocked.
Happy.
"You really didn't know?" Harry asked.
Draco stared at him.
"Potter, I spent six years insulting you."
"You flirted with me."
Draco choked.
"I what?"
"You flirted."
"I absolutely did not."
"You absolutely did."
"Name one example."
Harry pointed at him immediately.
"The time you spent ten minutes criticizing my Quidditch uniform while staring at my legs."
Draco buried his face in his hands.
Harry's grin widened.
"Oh my God."
"Stop talking."
"You were flirting."
"I was not."
"You were."
Draco groaned into his palms.
Harry was laughing so hard tears threatened to form.
Then the laughter faded.
Slowly.
Naturally.
Until neither of them was smiling quite as much anymore.
The room grew quieter.
The air heavier.
Draco lowered his hands.
Their eyes met.
And suddenly neither seemed interested in joking.
The alcohol had stripped away too many defenses.
Left too many truths exposed.
Harry swallowed.
His voice came out softer.
"You know..."
Draco's heart jumped.
"What?"
Harry looked down at the bottle in his hands.
Then back up.
"I think I started falling for you before the library."
The confession settled between them.
Gentle.
Terrifying.
Real.
Draco's breath caught.
Harry gave a nervous laugh.
"I just didn't admit it."
Draco stared at him.
For months he had imagined hearing those words.
Hundreds of times.
Thousands.
None of those fantasies had prepared him for the real thing.
For Harry looking at him like that.
For Harry meaning it.
The room felt impossibly still.
Neither looked away.
Neither wanted to.
And for the first time all night, there was nothing left to hide.
Not the affection.
Not the longing.
Not the months of missing each other.
Just two boys sitting shoulder to shoulder on a bed, flushed from alcohol and courage, finally saying the things they'd spent far too long keeping to themselves.
The silence lingered.
Warm.
Fragile.
Dangerously honest.
Harry's confession still hung between them.
Neither seemed entirely sure what to do with it.
Harry was staring at Draco.
Draco was staring at Harry.
Their shoulders were touching.
Neither had moved away.
And then Draco remembered.
The secret.
The one he'd never told anyone.
The one he'd carried for years.
The alcohol chose that moment to completely destroy his self-control.
"Oh."
Harry blinked.
"What?"
Draco's eyes widened.
Because suddenly it felt very important.
Very urgent.
The thought bounced around his head exactly once before escaping.
"I liked you in first year."
The words fell into the room.
Harry froze.
Draco froze.
The room froze.
For a solid five seconds neither of them moved.
Then Harry blinked.
Once.
Twice.
"...What?"
Draco immediately covered his face.
"No."
Harry stared.
"No?"
"I want to take it back."
"You can't take that back."
"I know."
Harry looked completely stunned.
"First year?"
Draco groaned.
"Merlin."
"FIRST YEAR?"
Draco slid slowly down the headboard.
"I hate everything."
Harry grabbed his shoulder.
"No, wait."
Draco pointed accusingly.
"Don't laugh."
"I'm trying not to."
"Potter."
"I'm trying!"
Draco watched the battle happening on Harry's face.
The twitching lips.
The growing grin.
The utter disbelief.
Then Harry lost.
A laugh escaped him.
Draco immediately threw another pillow.
The pillow bounced harmlessly off Harry's chest.
"Draco."
"Oh, now it's Draco."
Harry ignored him.
"First year?"
Draco buried his face in his hands.
"I was eleven."
Harry looked delighted.
"You hated me."
"I absolutely did."
"You challenged me to a duel."
"You were very interesting."
Harry blinked.
"I was what?"
Draco peeked through his fingers.
His face was scarlet.
"You jumped headfirst into everything."
Harry stared.
Draco continued before he could stop himself.
"You didn't care who people were."
"Draco—"
"You argued with teachers."
"Draco."
"You punched people."
"I punched one person."
"You punched multiple people."
Harry opened his mouth.
Closed it.
Opened it again.
"No comment."
Draco laughed.
Then immediately became serious.
Because there was more.
A lot more.
And apparently drunk Draco had decided secrets were illegal.
"I wanted to be your friend."
The words came out quietly.
Harry's smile faded.
Draco looked down at the bottle in his hands.
"It sounds stupid now."
"It doesn't."
"It does."
"It doesn't."
Draco swallowed.
"I was standing there at Madam Malkin's before school started."
Harry's eyes widened.
"The robe shop."
Draco nodded.
"You were the first person my age I'd talked to all day."
The memory felt strangely vivid.
Even now.
Even after everything.
"I remember thinking you looked nervous."
Harry laughed softly.
"I was."
"I know."
A small smile crossed Draco's face.
"You didn't know who I was."
Harry's chest tightened.
Draco could see it happen.
"Most people already did."
His voice softened.
"And for five minutes..."
He laughed quietly.
"For five minutes I was just Draco."
The room fell silent.
Harry looked as though someone had reached into his chest and squeezed his heart.
Draco looked away.
"I thought maybe we'd be friends."
The confession was barely above a whisper.
"Then you rejected my handshake."
Harry groaned so loudly it echoed through the room.
"Oh, God."
Draco laughed.
Harry dropped backward onto the bed dramatically.
"Oh, God."
"You did."
"I know."
"You actually did."
"I KNOW."
Draco was grinning now.
Harry covered his face with both hands.
"Please stop."
"You rejected me."
"You were awful."
"I was charming."
"You insulted Ron within thirty seconds."
"A minor detail."
Harry peeked through his fingers.
Draco was smiling.
Really smiling.
And suddenly Harry wasn't laughing anymore.
Because underneath the joke was something else.
Something real.
Years of it.
Slowly Harry lowered his hands.
"You know..."
Draco looked at him.
Harry's expression had softened.
"If I'd known."
Draco's heart stumbled.
"If you'd known what?"
Harry smiled sadly.
"That you wanted to be friends."
The words settled gently between them.
Draco's chest tightened.
Harry nudged his shoulder.
Lightly.
Affectionately.
"I would've taken the handshake."
Draco stared.
Harry held his gaze.
And for a moment neither spoke.
The years between eleven and nineteen suddenly felt very small.
Very fragile.
Very easy to imagine differently.
Then Draco laughed quietly.
A little watery around the edges.
"You're only saying that because you're drunk."
Harry smiled.
"Probably."
Draco rolled his eyes.
Harry's smile widened.
"But I'd still take it now."
The room fell silent again.
Neither looked away.
Neither wanted to.
And somewhere beneath the alcohol, the laughter, and the years of history between them, something old finally eased.
A hurt that had begun with a rejected handshake.
A wound neither of them had realized they were still carrying.
Draco was still giggling.
Actually giggling.
Harry couldn't remember ever seeing him like this.
His cheeks were pink from the alcohol, silver hair falling into his eyes as he laughed at Harry's horrified reaction.
"You should have seen your face," Draco said.
Harry just stared at him.
Draco slowly stopped laughing.
The look on Harry's face made something in his chest flutter.
"...Potter?"
Harry took another swig from his bottle.
"Yeah?"
"Is something wrong?"
"No."
Before Draco could respond, Harry leaned forward.
And kissed him.
No hesitation.
No overthinking.
No panic.
Just one quick, slightly clumsy, alcohol-fueled kiss.
Draco froze.
Harry pulled back immediately.
For a second neither of them moved.
Neither breathed.
Then Draco blinked.
Once.
Twice.
His mouth fell open.
"You kissed me."
Harry nodded.
"Yeah."
"You actually kissed me."
"Yeah."
Draco stared at him for another long second.
Then a huge grin spread across his face.
And before Harry could say anything else, Draco grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him back.
Harry made a surprised noise against Draco's lips.
Draco kissed him back immediately, one hand tangled in the front of Harry's shirt.
When they finally pulled apart, both of them were breathing hard.
They stared at each other.
For a second neither moved.
Then, as if the distance between them was unbearable, Draco grabbed Harry's shirt again and kissed him.
Harry kissed him back instantly.
A little desperate.
A little panicked.
Like if they stopped, the moment might disappear.
They broke apart only long enough to breathe.
Then kissed again.
And again.
Neither seemed willing to let the other get very far.
Eventually Draco rested his forehead against Harry's.
Both of them were flushed.
Smiling.
A bit dazed.
"Merlin," Draco whispered.
Harry laughed breathlessly.
"What?"
Draco shook his head.
"I've wanted to do that for years."
Harry blinked.
"Years?"
Draco groaned.
Harry immediately kissed him again before he could hide.
When they pulled apart, Harry was grinning.
"When we wake up tomorrow," he said quietly, "we aren't pretending this didn't happen, right?"
Draco looked at him like he'd gone mad.
"Potter."
Harry's stomach flipped.
"I spent seven years falling in love with you."
Harry stared.
Then kissed him again.
Because apparently neither of them knew what else to do with feelings anymore.
Outside, snow fell over Hogwarts.
Inside, two very drunk boys sat tangled together on a bed, kissing like they were afraid the world might end if they stopped.