Chapter Text
Wooyoung has accepted his fate. He’s not escaping family night. He has no plausible excuse to skip family night and Seonghwa made it very clear that it was nonnegotiable so he’s just going to have to suck it up and deal.
He thinks to himself maybe it won’t be too bad. Hopefully everyone will be too indulged in their own meals to take notice of what he eats, which won’t be much if Wooyoung has anything to say about it.
There’s no separation or alone time before family night. This means no stopping back at his own room to grab anything because Seonghwa keeps anything and everything stocked at all times. ‘Just in case’ he always says.
It’s early in the afternoon when they all pile into their respective vans and Wooyoung needs a nap. He can’t prepare for the family time stress and be awake at the same time, he just can’t. He feels a wave a nausea every time the vans stop at a convenience store looking for an overtly specific snack or a hole in the wall because San just swears they have the best steak. Wooyoung doesn’t get out of the car.
The food and snack runs take all of 3 hours because his hyungs weren’t kidding when they said everyone could get whatever they wanted. But when Wooyoung is lightly shaken awake, he’s met with expectant eyes on him. “You’re our last run Youngie, what are you feeling like,” Hongjoong asks so gently it makes him want to cry. He doesn’t want anything.
“Uh, I don’t know. I don’t have much of an appetite so maybe i’ll just snack a lot.”
“No you’re getting a meal and you’re going to eat it,” Hongjoong says sharply. His quick loss of temper makes Wooyoung flinch. Is Hongjoong…mad at him? A panic sets into his chest. He doesn’t want to make anyone mad or annoyed. Maybe his captain is finally losing his patience with him. Wooyoung can’t let that happen.
“I’ll just have whatever you have Hyung,” he barely whispers.
Hongjoong takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to snap like that,” his face softens. He’s looking at Wooyoung with so much pity it sort of makes him sick. “It’s just that- you know what never mind. It’s fine if you get what I get.” He turns back around and starts typing something on his phone. Wooyoung brings up his legs and rests his chin on his knees.
“You don’t care about the food do you Hyung,” Jongho whispers. It’s a layered question, Wooyoung knows. All he does is shake his head. He doesn’t care at all about the food.
Truthfully, he may care a little too much.
—
Everyone is drunk. Not Wooyoung though. He read somewhere that alcohol can slow down metabolism and digestion or something like that. He’s tipsy at best but he refuses to eat whatever the hell it is that Hongjoong decided they’d have and have the alcohol keeping it from leaving his body properly.
The group sits in an imperfect circle. San and Yeosang share the couch, which doesn’t piss him off at all, Hongjoong sits in the recliner with Seonghwa draped on its arm. Wooyoung opts for the floor, ignoring how uncomfortable it is on his tailbone. Jongho and Mingi sit on either side of him and Yunho sits directly in front of him.
Yunho’s been weird all day. He’s been staring at Wooyoung like he owes him something, but he hasn’t said anything, so Wooyoung has no problem.
“We should all play a game.” Yes! Wooyoung loves games.
“Truth or Dare?” Not that game. Anything but that game.
“I’m too drunk to do dares,” Yeosang mutters.
“Truth or Truth?” Yunho suggest. That actually might be worse. Everyone has been a little too nosey as of late and just to Wooyoung's luck, everyone agrees to Truth or Truth.
They’ve played this game dozens of times. No dares, no bottle spinning, no cards, just picking someone and asking a question and drinking penalties. Funny enough, Wooyoung was the one to introduce this game to the group to get everyone comfortable with each other. There’s no winner, only inebriation an shame.
“I’ll go first,” Seonghwa volunteers from the arm of Hongjoong’s seat. That’s when Wooyoung grabs a beer. He’s not doing this sober.
“Hmmmm, San, what was your most scandalous dream?”
“Me and-” San, red in the face stops before he can incriminate himself and takes a shot. Shame.
“Coward,” Mingi coughs. It makes Wooyoung snicker.
San squints at him. “Mingi, what’s a lie you’ve never got caught for.”
“I don’t tell lies,” Mingi says smoothly. “But, once I saw you use Seonghwa’s last face mask and pretended I didn’t know about it to keep the peace.”
“I fucking knew it!” Seonghwa shouts!
“I’m sorry Hyung I was having a breakout it was an emergency!” San whines.
“Jongho, who’s someone you pretend to like but secretly don’t?” Mingi asks. The room erupts in ooohs.
“Every variety show host we’ve met. They’re weird and say mean things to you guys”
“Aweeee” Wooyoung wraps both arms around Jongho, “My baby that’s so sweet,” and Jongho just lets him.
“I’ll give my question to you, I’m not the curious about you all today,” Jongho offers.
“Alright,” Wooyoung shrugs. Oh! It’s time to be the wingman of a lifetime. “Yunho, who are you most attracted to right now?” he asks menacingly. Cue another round of ooohs. He feels Mingi grab the back of his hoodie.
“Easy, Mingi” he leans back on his hand, confident. And Wooyoung is definitely getting wingman of the year yes he is. He squeezes Mingi’s hand. If he could squeeze the words “I told you so” like morse code he would. The loud commentary from the rest of the group doesn’t last long though.
“But since you asked me that,” uh oh. “Wooyoung how much do you weigh right now.”
What the fuck?
The room falls silent. “Yeah, actually I wanna know that too,” Yeosang chimes in.
“Yeah you’ve lost a lot of weight recently.”
“I noticed that too.”
Oooh what the hell? Why is everyone jumping in on him right now?
Wooyoung decides then and there that he doesn’t have to comply with the rules of Truth or Truth and he doesn’t recall putting his right hand on the bible so he’s going to lie. This is not court.
“Um, I don’t know,” he tries to be casual about it. Like his weight is no big deal to him.
“Oh you don’t know?” Yunho mocks. What is his problem? “There’s a scale in here right? Mingi would you grab the scale for us?” This is starting to feel a lot like court.
“Mingi will do no such thing because he is drunk and has no coordination right now.” Wooyoung fights.
“It’s true i’m drunk and have no coordination right now,” he agrees. And Wooyoung takes a second to acknowledge that Mingi is a real life angel sent to him by a higher power.
“I’ll grab it,” Hongjoong, who hasn’t said a word during the game, stands up. This is not happening
“How about I just go and weigh myself and then come back and tell you,” Wooyoung bargains, already pushing himself to stand, ignoring the dizziness that takes over him.
“No I want to see for myself, I’m sure everyone agrees,” Yunho stops him. Before Wooyoung can plot a grand escape out of this, Hongjoong is already back with the scale. It seems everyone has found some sort of sobriety to cling on to.
“I really don’t see why this needs to happen but fine,” he’s about step onto the scale but it Yunho, stops him again.
“Take your hoodie off first.” This is overkill. Wooyoung shrugs off his hoodie, annoyed and steps on the scale before anyone else can say anything or strip him naked.
He looks up, to the side, anywhere but the scale or the members.
“What the fuck,” he hears Yunho gasp.
Wooyoung glances downwards, 52.4 kg. Could be worse with how much he just ate.
“Can I have my hoodie back i’m freezing,” he tries to move past all of this.
“Yeah I bet you are. You have no body fat or muscle or really anything on you to keep you warm.” Yunho says.
“That’s not okay, you know that right?” Hongjoong says, looking almost half as stressed as Wooyoung feels.
“What is this an intervention?” Wooyoung bites. He didn’t sign up for this.
“Have you not been eating well?” Seonghwa grabs onto him, similar to what he did when Wooyoung disappeared after his fight with Yeosang.
Yeosang uncurls himself from the ball he was in moments before. “To be honest, and I’m saying this as your best friend, you’re really scaring people. Nobody wanted to say anything because you’re an adult and all but we saw you during the fittings and this is just getting out of hand,” he speaks his piece.
“I told you I have everything under control,” Wooyoung hisses.
“You obviously don’t,” Yunho scoffs.
“Okay, Yunho that’s enough,” Seonghwa steps in.
“How are you of all people okay with this?” he explodes.
“I’m not okay with this and you know it but pushing him like this is not going to help,” Seonghwa stresses. Wooyoung has no idea what they’re talking about but he’s getting real tired of people talking about him like he’s not even in the room.Who even said he needed help? He’s fine!
“Can you stop acting like I’m some bad child? I haven’t done anything wrong,” Wooyoung defends. Its just not fair how they’re talking about him like he has some type of problem. Wooyoung had a problem and he got rid of it. He’s fine now, nearly perfect.
“Have you seen yourself? You look sick Woo. I’m not trying to be an asshole right now- San help me out here,” Yunho pleads and tears well up in Wooyoung’s eyes. This is so humiliating. San looks conflicted. Hopefully, he’ll spare Wooyoung and stay out of this.
Instead of speaking, San rises from the couch and guides Wooyoung to his room. After shutting and locking the door, San takes a deep breath. They sit on the edge of his bed in silence. Usually, San’s room is a place of comfort, but right now the air is so tense that Wooyoung feels like he could suffocate. His hands hold and ring at each other as he waits for San to say something, anything. He knows he must look pathetic right now. Eyes wet, cheeks blotchy, nose red.
“Why’d you bring me in here?” he sniffles.
“Figured you needed a break from all that,” San watches him carefully.
“You okay?”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Never better.”
“And you’d tell me if you weren’t okay, right?”
“No,” his voice wobbles.
“Come here,” San opens his arms, and that’s all Wooyoung needs to fall into him. He clutches onto San like a lifeline and sobs. His body shakes and trembles as his cries escape his chest and San just holds him through it.
Once he’s calmed down, San continues to hold him. “What’s going on with you, hmmm?” he whispers into his hair.
“I-I thought I was finally starting to look okay, and now everybody is saying I look sick, b-but I worked really hard to get to this point,” Wooyoung hiccups. “It’s not fair.”
“What do you mean finally?” San furrows his brows. “Did you not like how you looked before?”
“Not really.” Wooyoung can’t even look him in the eye. “I was too big.” I was too much.
“I think you were beautiful.” A single tear slips out of Wooyoung’s eye. His heart can’t take this.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. You’re always so beautiful to me,” he says earnestly. “But I can’t have you disappearing on me. You’re much too small now and that’s not healthy for you.”
“So you think I look sick too?”
San cups Wooyoung’s face in his hands. “Young-ah I think-” A knock on the door cuts him off.
The door opens to reveal Mingi with a bottle of soju. Oh come on!
“Sorry to kill the moment, but I had to come and check on you.” He hands Wooyoung the bottle. “And just so you know, this was not a setup or meant to be an intervention. It really was just supposed to be a regular family night. I think Yunho just had that on his chest for a while, and the alcohol got him all bold.”
Honestly, Wooyoung forgot about that impromptu intervention the second San called him beautiful. But now that he remembers…he downs have the bottle. The alcohol does nothing to soothe the embarrassment. He scoffs.
“You should tell your boyfriend to mind his business.”
“First of all,” Mingi defends, “he is not my boyfriend. And try not to be too upset at him. I know he was a little out of line but it’s only because he cares and he’s worried.”
“Yeah whatever,” Wooyoung mutters, already knowing what he’ll have to do to ease everyone’s worries for the night. “Come on, let’s go back,” he stands.
When they get back to the living room, Wooyoung doesn’t speak to anyone; he just sits on the floor and grabs three large slices of pizza and immediately gets to eating. He hasn’t indulged this way in forever, he doesn’t enjoy it much anymore.
He looks up to find everyone staring at him; all their faces varying from shocked to confused. Wooyoung rolls his eyes. Isn’t this what they wanted?
“So are we gonna keep playing or is it time for a movie?” Wooyoung asks nonchalantly.
“Movie. I think we all know enough about each other,” Jongho decides.
Everyone settles into a somewhat normal silence as the movie plays. Wooyoung isn’t paying attention to the movie though, all he can think about it is the pizza and how heavy it’s going to make him.
——
Wooyoung is not bulimic. He does not make himself throw up. Kneeling over the toilet bowl he blames the greasy pizza and alcohol. Briefly, however, he wonders if him vomiting cancels out those bad decisions from the previous night. Not that he’d do it again or anything, he’s not bulimic.
After he washes his face and thoroughly rinses his mouth out, he finds Hongjoong and Seonghwa waiting for him at the door.
“We need to have a talk. Right now.” Hongjoong says. He looks so serious. Wooyoung wonders what he did wrong now and when he’ll be able to catch a break.
While the rest of the members are still asleep, draped across different areas of the living room, Wooyoung trudges behind his Hyungs to Seonghwa’s room.
Seonghwa sits on the edge of his bed and pats the spot next to him for Wooyoung to sit down. Hongjoong takes a seat at the desk. It’s obvious they’re doing the good cop bad cop bit.
“Firstly, we want to apologize for how last night went. We were all drunk and that wasn’t the time to talk about your delicate situation. So, we’re sorry for that.” He says. Seonghwa nods next to him.
“Second, because I don’t sugarcoat things when it comes to health, you need to gain some weight.”
“WHAT? WHY?” Wooyoung shouts. Why on Earth would they want him to gain weight when he just reached his goal? Absolutely not.
“You can either handle it yourself, we help you, or we get professionals involved,” he continues.
“I’m not- we don’t-” Wooyoung can’t understand this.
“Wooyoung this isn’t up for debate.”
“IT’S MY BODY.”
“Wooyoungie,” Seonghwa cuts in, “we’re not sure what you’ve been doing but you are way too thin now,” he says gently. He rubs circles onto Wooyoung’s back, freezing when he feels the protruding bones. He goes back to the motions but Wooyoung notices all the same. “It’s not that we want to control you or your looks. It’s fine if you want to be thin but you have to be within healthy limits and you’re way out of that range. You’re too small now and with our profession it’s important that you stay healthy and strong. And on top of that you haven’t been your usual self. You’ve been a recluse and grumpy and-”
“We chalked it up to you just being hangry from your diet but Seonghwa thinks it’s something deeper and since he’s been in a similar position before, I think it’s best you listen to him.” Hongjoong finishes.
This is ridiculous. Wait- what does he mean Seonghwa was in similar position? Certainly not perfect Seonghwa with the body crafted by gods. Not him.
“What are you talking about?” he says, more confused than angry now.
“I really wanted abs for Inception because they choreographed a shirt raise. I went on this crazy diet and it worked but after promotions I was barely eating at all. I looked terrible and I felt terrible and I was terrible to all of you. At some point I was even afraid to eat. Hongjoong had to pull me out of it but it was really difficult because I had my mind dead set on being thin and having abs. I’m glad he helped me though because the way I was going I would’ve ended up in the hospital,” Seonghwa explains. Wooyoung’s chest tightens. It’s so sad that his Hyung went through that….but that’s not Wooyoung. Wooyoung is fine and he has everything under control and he doesn’t need help because he doesn’t have a problem.
“Hyungie I promise I’m fine. I’m not sick or anything. Plus, our manager and stylists said we can’t gain or lose 5 kilos,” he tries.
“Yeah I already told them you’ll be gaining more than that. You need to put on at least 6,” Hongjoong cuts him off.
6?!? Has he lost his mind?
“Hyung, I can’t do that. Please don’t make me,” Wooyoung pleads.
“I’m sorry Woo, but you can’t continue like this. We can’t allow you to. So do you want help, or can you do it yourself?”
There’s very obviously no way out of this. So Wooyoung complies, even though his mind is screaming for him to do the exact opposite. He takes a deep breath, trying to keep his oncoming tears at bay.
“I’ll do it myself,” he mumbles.
“Can I trust you to do it yourself?” Hongjoong looks him dead in the eye. The honest answer is no. Wooyoung doesn’t even trust himself to purposely gain 6 kilograms. But, telling the truth is a habit that’s escaped Wooyoung not too long ago. So he lies again.
“Yes Hyung.”
——
Wooyoung’s been more irritable. He doesn’t mean to be, San knows, but he just can't help it.
“San just leave me alone I swear to god-”
“No. Not until you stop being mad at me.” San, with those goddamn shoulders, blocks him from moving any further. Wooyoung takes a deep inhale through his nose. He will not snap at San. He won’t. He just needs to be by himself and cool down for a moment. That’s all.
“I’m not even mad anymore, just move out of my way San-ah. Please.”
“You said we wouldn’t fight over stuff like this anymore.”
“I also SAID not to eat my fruit bars in the freezer didn’t I?”
“You did but-
“Okay, so why did I come back home and my last one is missing?”
“Young-ah I just don’t understand why this is such a big deal, you barely eat anyway-“ and that’s just the wrong thing to say.
“That's exactly why it’s a big deal,” he wants to explode. It’s just not fair. San wouldn’t understand why the fruit bars were important, because they’re not even ice cream, barely considered popsicles for Christ’s sake. They are frozen bars of fruit. Nothing special nothing especially tasty. But of course, San couldn’t understand why the fruit bars are important to Wooyoung because San never had those as the one treat he allowed himself to have that didn’t make him feel like a fucking pig. San never had to worry about fitting food he could actually enjoy into a caloric deficit. San has always been skinny; all he had to do was get permission from the company to inhale food and turn the weight into muscle. But Wooyoung didn’t want to gain weight or build muscle. He was busting his ass to lose it. he works so so so hard to lose it and he now he has people up his ass looking for him to gain weight and he just wants to come home to a fucking fruit bar-
“Look I’m really sorry Young-ah. I’ll buy you another box.” San must notice him silently spirally himself into further distress, the deep red burning across his cheeks and tears sitting at his waterline driving San immediately into his rescue.
Wooyoung looks down at his watch and checks the time. A bright 5:55 pm flashes back on him and tears well up in his eyes. San, ever panicked and confused, immediately snatches him into a hug not knowing what else to do. He knows Wooyoung has been struggling, everybody knows, but he hasn’t the faintest idea on how to help.
“Two boxes? Right now! I’ll buy you 2 boxes right now! And I won’t even eat one I promise,” San pleads. All Wooyoung can do is sigh and respond with a weak “don’t bother” because now it’s 5:57 pm and his eating window closes in 3 minutes. He’s seriously not even mad anymore. Maybe it’s because he can never stay mad at San. San is so sweet to him and this is another one of those moments when Wooyoung honestly feels like it’s more than he deserves.
“Are you sure?” San asks, still clutching Wooyoung for dear life. Wooyoung nods, face smooshed into San’s chest. He isn’t sure at all. In fact, he would love nothing more than to go to the store and enjoy his favorite end-of-the-day snack with his favorite person in the world, but he can’t right now. Not until he meets his goal.
“Yeah. I’m sorry for getting angry and being mean to you,” he mumbles.
“It’s okay. If something is important to you then it should be important to me too.”
“Not everything. This is actually stupid and now I’m mad at myself for getting mad at you,” Wooyoung wrings at his fingers.
“It’s alright. Go get some sleep,” San pecks his forehead and sends him off.
When Wooyoung wakes up in the morning there are 3 boxes of fruit bars all labeled with his name on them. There are also 2 floor length mirrors missing from the apartment.