Chapter Text
Steve felt gravity stopped existing for a moment, he was floating. In reality he was just standing on his tiptoes being held by the collar of his shirt by Eddie. By the same Eddie, whom Robin was raving about all along. Steve understood why she had the need to share him with the world, it would have been a huge mistake to gate keep him. The guy was not only undeniably charismatic but also very unapologetically authentic. His presence demanded attention and it was almost impossible to deny his charm. Steve couldn’t help himself, stealing a glance of the long haired man’s tensed torso. Every single muscle was flexed as he held him against the van and Steve finally understood why the bible said “God created man in his own image”.
“Eddie, release him! ” Robin’s tone was more firm, and it worked its magic because Eddie theatrically rolled his eyes and finally let go of Steve.
“How many times do I have to tell you not to pick up strangers when I’m not around?!“ His anger was addressed to Robin now.
“Don’t patronize me! Besides, why are you so mad? He didn’t do anything wrong!“ Robin snapped back and crossed her arms in front of her, meanwhile Steve anxiously waited for the answer because he also wanted to know.
“Oh come on don’t be so naive Rob! Do you know how it seemed from the outside? A guy halfway in your van? I also heard noises from the back!“ Eddie barked at her, as he gave a criminal side eye to Steve, who just stood there like a tree.
“Ugh Stop! Gross. He would never!” Robin exclaimed with full certainty even though she and Steve haven’t even known each other for a full day.
“Yeah, I would never!” Steve chimed in hearing the accusations.
Both hippies darted their gaze at him, but both of their expressions were completely different. Robin was smiling proudly like a mother, meanwhile Eddie’s brows were knitted together, eyes scrutinizing Steve. Something he started to get used to.
“We just don’t know that, do we?” Eddie sternly stared into Steve’s eyes. “I don’t trust you!” He said casually and with that his body language became nonchalant again. He pulled out another cigarette from his back pocket and lit it, completely ignoring Steve who was at a loss of words for the millionth time today.
“You . . . don’t trust me?” Steve huffed in disbelief. “Are you for real? I just gave you money, and you are the one not trusting me?”
A wild grin was spreading across Eddie's face, but he didn’t look up at Steve, just took another drag. Steve was itching with annoyance. It seemed like the hippie had a natural talent to make him irritated.
“ What?“ Robin screeched “You guys know each other?"
“Of course, we’re long lost high school sweethearts.“ Eddie said with a blank face and both Robin and Steve stared at him dumbfounded.
“Tsk, come on we just met five minutes ago, I didn’t know he was with you.” Eddie held out his arm pointing at Steve, who really wasn’t good at playing this game. His face changed colors like a chameleon when it’s trying to adapt to its surroundings. But Steve was no chameleon, and the only look he could pull off was of an overcooked lobster.
“That was good! You got me there for a second." Robin grinned at Eddie and gave a gentle punch to his biceps.
They shared a look that was so incredibly intimate that Steve’s brain short circuited for a second. There was so much going on between these two that he knew he could never fathom. If they weren’t into each other, like Robin clearly stated, insisted on the matter, then this is how Steve pictured pure unconditional love. Melancholy hit him for a short moment knowing that he might never be able to experience something like this.
“So, let me introduce you guys properly." Robin’s bubbly voice put an end to his spiraling thoughts.
"Eddie, this is Steve Harrington. He’s from Indiana and his bus went kaput on the way here, that’s when I picked him up. He will be recruited in the military soon and I told him until then he can hang out with us.” Robin quickly listed the most important things that she knew about Steve.
“Tsk tsk tsk, our dearest government wasn’t lying about sending America’s finest sons to war…” Eddie shook his head discontentedly. ”What a crime…It’s Munson by the way.“ The hippie turned to Steve and this time he offered his hand for a shake.
“Well . . .I dunno about finest, but . . . I will try my best.” Steve said humbly, eyes flicking up to the long haired boy.
Eddie’s hand held his in a firm grip and Steve could feel his calloused fingers. The handshake, just like before, was a bit longer than normal but Steve didn’t seem to mind it. But those eyes. Part of Steve was sure those eyes wanted to say a thousand things.
“Sorry man, I’m just constantly worried about her, it's nothing personal. Hope we’re good.” Eddie said after letting go of Steve’s hand.
“Yeah get it, but I never had those intentions, just so you know!” Steve clarified once more.
Although it was late May, when the sun started to set over Central Park, casting shadows over the old oaks, and the parking lot, it still got pretty chilly. Both Robin and Eddie were dressed very lightly but Steve was the one who seemed cold.
“Great, now that everyone knows everyone. Where's Dustin? “ Robin turned to Eddie with worry in her eyes, all the things that just went down between the guys distracted her and she failed to notice that the youngest member of the party wasn’t even there.
“Yeah well, there’s a bit of a situation going on.” Eddie talked with his hands. “I went to pick him up, but apparently his mom knows my van, and she wouldn’t let him out of the house. Technically he is grounded. She hates my guts and I’m quoting “I’m a bad influence. A dirty hippie.” He beamed at Steve waiting for reassurance like it was something to be proud of. “But don’t worry I got a plan.” He continued, “Tomorrow we're gonna try it with your van. It’s late now anyways."
The sun was setting behind the trees and although Steve hated to interrupt but he had burning questions to ask.
“Um . . .“ Steve cleared his throat.“ Well, so, I was wondering . . .where am I gonna sleep?“ He asked sheepishly.
When he agreed to Robin’s invitation, he wasn’t thinking about the technical questions, and that he might have to be a burden to someone. Being an inconvenience, stressed him out greatly.
Robin opened her mouth to speak, but Eddie beat her to it, and with a short answer rendered Steve speechless. Again.
“Obviously with me.” The hippie rolled his eyes like it was the most unequivocal thing in the word. “Her van ‘s too small for two.“ He added.
Steve was way too tired to make sense of Eddie’s hot and cold behavior so he decided he will do what he’s best at and just follow along. What could go wrong? He is here after all, and as of recent, going with the flow seemed to work out in his favor.
“Cool, which one is it?” He questioned, eyes droopy, tiredness starting to catch up with him. They traveled all day so it was understandable.
“Come on man, grab your stuff I’ll show you. It’s over there.“ Eddie pointed to the other end of the parking lot. ”We can let the lady rest. She was driving all day.“ He stepped to Robin and theatrically kissed her knuckles. "Goodnight malady."
Robin chuckled and grabbed Eddie’s chin playfully. “Night ya silly, and you too Dingus!" She did a little wave of her fingers. "See ya in the morning."
Steve gave her a small smile in return, telling the girl he was truly grateful. “Night Robin, thanks." And then he turned to follow Eddie.
Eddie’s van was a Volkswagen too, but it wasn’t in any better condition than Robin’s. Instead of flowers, it was decorated with indents and scratches, paint chipping off in more than one place. But undeniably it was much bigger than hers.
“Welcome to my castle.” Eddie gave Steve a half smile as he hesitantly reached for the doors. “Try not to gasp."
Steve didn't expect the inside to be any better than the exterior but he was pleasantly surprised.
Eddie’s van looked very cozy. The back of the car was basically a huge bed, with a soft looking blanket and pillows. Posters decorated the shiplap walls, one said “Power to Women” and another “Make Love not War”. A string of fairy lights were hanging from the ceiling giving a homey feel by painting the inside in a soothing warm hue. There was a black guitar on the passenger seat and a sun catcher hanging over the door. A bunch of trinkets were carefully lined up on the dashboard in forms of seashells and crystals. It seemed to Steve that Eddie liked moons and stars because those were a recurring element too. Drawn on the ceiling, on his bandana, and on the blanket too. The way the moon on the blanket grinned, so content and full of himself reminded him of Eddie, they were like twins. Steve had to bite down on his lips stopping himself from smiling because he found the chubby faced moon hilarious. The van smelled like strong incense and something earthy that Steve didn't recognize.
“Well it’s not much, but more than some have, so . . .” Eddie scratched his nape, looking at Steve who was taking in the sight. The room he grew up in looked nothing remotely characteristic like this. Steve found it amusing that apparently you just have to take a look at a hippie's van to know their personality. He loved it though.
“This . . . is amazing man.“ Steve finally found the words for Eddie's relief.
“So, you really won’t mind me staying here?” Steve questioned, not wanting to be an intruder in such a personal space.
“Nah it’s all good.” Eddie climbed in and started to arrange the pillows and the blanket. “I’m telling you now that at night it still gets chilly so we might have to share the blanket.” He pointed to the one with the moon on it which Steve was eying before.
“I wasn’t expecting guests tonight.“ Eddie winked.
Steve nodded and climbed in after him. “No worries, I guess I’ll see more harsh conditions than this,” he joked.
“Bootcamp will be a piece of cake after this.” Eddie joked along, eyes glistening in the dim lighting.
They sat face to face in the back of the van as Eddie closed the back doors. Steve felt his stomach do a little flip. When Eddie laughed his voice was like honey to his ears and he found it hard not to stare at his long hair. Steve never saw a guy who had such long hair. In his mind it was a girly thing however Eddie wasn’t feminine at all. Quite the opposite. He didn’t understand why he felt his body was heating from the inside every time he made him smile or laugh. Steve enjoyed making people happy, or pleased. That’s what he knew how to do best and he found pleasure in it. Found pleasure in doing something right. But this was different, and he couldn’t wrap his head around it.
“How old are you Harrington?“ The other boy’s voice tore him out of his thoughts.
“I turned 20 last September.” Steve replied, fidgeting with his fingers suddenly feeling self conscious about his age. Was he too young? Too old? Steve was overthinking again.
Eddie laid down on his back and put his arm under his head. His long hair wasn't hiding his features anymore. Steve felt blanketed in the dim lighting, allowing himself to stare, because who would judge him if nobody could see? The hippie had earrings which Steve hadn't noticed before along with some tattoos on his ribs that his vest wasn’t covering anymore. Eddie sensed the pair of eyes on him but he didn’t say anything. His big brown eyes shut closed and he hummed.
“And why the hell are ya wanting to die so young Steve?“
Steve wasn’t prepared, he expected everything but this. The question punched the air out of his lungs. It was rude and blunt and intrusive. He felt deeply offended.
“I’m just doing what’s expected from me, like many others.” Steve was snapped out of his trance. ”It’s my duty, and it would be yours too.” He inhaled harshly. “It’s an honor to serve my country, however small my contribution may be.”
Eddie slowly opened his eyes and glanced at Steve who seemed very tense playing with the zipper of his jacket.
“Let me get this straight. You mean giving your life is a small contribution to you?” Eddie raised an eyebrow.
“That’s not what I said. How old are you anyways? Shouldn’t you be in the army already?” Steve growled.
Eddie let out a small grunt.
“I’m 22. And I don’t think I owe my life to this country, or for that matter to anyone.” He was so unbothered that it made Steve’s blood boil even more.
”Those who love me are all here. Why would I sacrifice myself knowing that nobody would do the same for me? I don't want to be a pawn on the politician’s chess board.“ Eddie spoke with conviction.
“Well I’m doing it for you.“ Steve blurted, it was the last attempt to recover his bruised ego, but Eddie bit back.
“Well, then don’t do it cuz I wouldn’t do it for you."
The air froze between them for a second. The silence was suffocating, and Steve never felt so humiliated in his life. Eddie was harsh and unfiltered and Steve felt deeply hurt. This guy that he just met a couple hours ago could make him feel almost as useless as his father did. Mocking the only valuable thing he could offer. His act of service and his ultimate sacrifice.
“Steve?“ Eddie’s voice finally broke the silence. “Hey, um . . . I’m sorry man. That was way out of line.“
“Yeah ,whatever.” Steve sulked, pressing his back to the walls of the van. He felt exhausted.
Eddie’s eyes were searching Steve’s but with no luck. He rubbed small circles on his forearm in an attempt to soothe himself. Everything about Eddie was confusing to Steve. One moment he was nice and funny, the second he was mean and arrogant.
“I’m sorry, I have a strong opinion about this . . . and you seem like a nice guy Steve. You must know that you have a choice, you know.” The hippie spoke with a low voice.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m way too tired for this right now man. Let me sleep and tomorrow you can keep bombarding me with your anti war propaganda.” Steve sighed in surrender and laid down with his back facing the long haired boy.
The corner of Eddie's mouth quirked up. He found Steve’s silent little tantrum and sulking somehow adorable. More than he liked to admit. He let his gaze roam over Steve's silhouette in the dark, and before he could say good night, Steve had already fallen into a deep sleep next to him.
Eddie gently unlaced Steve’s shoes and took them off, then he did the same with his own beaten up black converse. He untied his bandana, then he put it in his mouth and bit down on it hard to let out some of the build up tension he had. He rubbed his face with his palms, the bandana muffling his voice as he murmured under his breath.
“Damn it woman. What did you just bring upon me?”
***
Steve was woken by the cold. He was quivering and his nose was completely numb. He tried to rub his arms to warm himself when he noticed that the only blanket Eddie had in the van was laid on him. The chubby moon was staring at him haughtily. Despite the blanket, Steve was still shaking from the cold. He turned to check on Eddie who was curled up in the fetal position also trembling a bit. Steve could almost see their breath glowing in the crispy midnight air as the moon lit the van in a silver hue. Eddie wasn’t lying about the temperature changes. He lifted the blanket and gently placed it on the other boy who only wore a denim vest and jeans but nothing else. As he covered him, his fingers accidentally brushed Eddie’s bare shoulder waking him too. The hippie’s voice was rasp but his tone carried more tenderness than ever.
“It’s ok Steve, you can keep it.” Eddie whispered.
“Nah man it’s freezing, you need it more.” Steve insisted.
“How bout we share..”
“Yeah, sure.”
The blanket was a decent size even for two, so Steve thought there wasn’t anything weird about sharing it. They’re not gonna cuddle or anything. Eddie lifted the blanket and that was the signal for Steve to slide in there. Their bodies weren’t touching, yet Steve suddenly felt his skin tingling again. As he got close to this magnetic field of Eddie’s, he seemed unable not to react to it.To make it even worse, Steve got a glimpse of his scent as the hippie’s long hair was fanned out between them. It was sweet and musky, mixed with smoke and incense. Eddie fell back to sleep almost immediately and Steve tried his best to relax and not think about anything. Not much later he was asleep too.
The next thing he felt was warm rays of sunshine stroking him awake. It was early morning, but the warm air was like a tender hug after the freezing night. Steve slowly opened his eyes trying to remember where he was. He rubbed his eyes and pushed himself up to his forearm. He found Eddie sitting at the end of the van. The back doors were open and Steve could see as fog was still dancing under the trees, above the lush green grass, birds happily trilling their morning sonatas. The hippie had his guitar in his lap and a small notebook laid on his tight as he seemed deeply concentrating. Steve silently embraced the tranquil scene. Eddie seemed very focused, his tongue was peeking out of the corner of his mouth as his calloused fingers were ghosting over the guitar’s strings. But there was no sound coming from them. He played in his head. Occasionally he jotted down something to his notebook that Steve was way too far to make out. He finally let out a small yawn and the other boy turned to look at him.
“Mornin’ Sunshine.” Eddie grinned at him.
“Hey, “ Steve replied, but his voice sounded rough with sleep, even to his own ears.
Eddie guffawed at the state of the other boy, his perfect hair was like a poorly made bird's nest.
“Told ya, bootcamp won’t phase you no more.” Eddie returned to what he was doing, still wearing the smile on his face and started to pick at the strings of the guitar. This time for real, and Steve could finally listen to the melody which a couple minutes ago only existed in Eddie’s mind. The song was rather short and Eddie seemed to go back to correct certain parts over and over again. Steve couldn’t help but wonder, was Eddie playing silently because he didn’t want to wake him up? The small act of thoughtfulness made his chest tighten.
“It sounds nice, what is it? ” Steve asked with fondness.
“Oh this? It's nothing really. I just got the inspiration for a song. It doesn't happen often.” Eddie downplayed it shyly which was new to Steve.
He hasn’t really seen this toned down, almost shy version of Eddie before. But what could he know, they’ve only met yesterday.
“What is it about? I’d like to hear it once you’re finished.” Steve collected all his bravery and scooted closer to Eddie. He placed his hand on the other boy's shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. In his mind it was a peace offering.
Eddie flicked his eyes at him, his plush lips parted as he leaned back at Steve, invading his personal space. When Steve felt Eddie’s breath ghosting over the side of his face goosebumps spread across his neck. He had to fight so hard to push down the small whine that was about to escape him.
“Am I special, or you’re always this nosy Steve?” Eddie whispered, voice seductively low.
Eddie’s sneering comment made Steve’s face fall. Just before he could say anything Robin jumped in front of them juggling three bowls in her hands.
“Mornin’ little birdies, breakfast is ready!” She sang happily, casually wobbling between Eddie and Steve who had to move to make place for her. She handed them the bowls whistling carefree. Steve was forced to forget about their little incident as he glanced down at the bowl that was pushed into his hands. He peeked at Eddie’s and Robin’s bowl who had the same mushy looking thing except he had apples and nuts as toppings.
“It's porridge Steve, hope you like it. It’s nothing fancy but we eat this every morning.” She said giving a sweet smile to Steve.
He was deeply touched by Robin’s gesture because the absence of the apples and nuts on their breakfast told Steve that it was a luxury to have.
“Thanks Robbie, I wasn’t expecting a five star service” He was truly grateful for her hospitality.
“Bon Appetit” Eddie said impatiently, growing bored of their chatter, and started to stuff his face like an
animal. Steve and Robbin followed suit but in a more civilized manner.
“Lier— khm “ Steve fake coughed, squinting at Eddie, who looked at him with a question mark on his forehead.
“Wha—?” He asked mouth still full with porridge.
“You said you haven’t eaten in two days.”
“Yeah ok, you got me there. But you slept in my van so we’re even.” He said matter of factly.
“But I still can’t believe you fell for something so stupid.” Eddie smirked.
Steve rolled his eyes, but he thought it was fair enough.
Robin finished her bowl and started peeking around anxiously. Paranoia and excitement mixed in her expression which was an odd combination to Steve. He looked at Eddie expecting that he might get an explanation for the girl's sudden mood change, but Eddie was way too occupied with devouring his breakfast.
“Are you ok?” Steve finally decided to ask her. “ You seem . . . nervous.”
“It’s almost 8:30.” Eddie took the liberty to answer, still nibbling on the porridge.
“Yeah, and?” Steve got even more confused.
Robin just sat there like a statue, she was in another galaxy not even hearing what the guys talked about.
“Show’s about to begin” Eddie wiggled his brows and elbowed the girl.
“Shut up!” She yelped.
Just when Steve thought he completely lost the narrative, three equestrians appeared on the small trail among the trees. Their horses were all purebred, and their riding habit screamed old money and titles. Steve watched them as they got closer. It was a perfect view from the van to the trail where they galloped. Two of them were older women, but the third rider was a girl about their age riding gracefully between them. Her body moved in a beautiful tandem with the horse, a perfectly choreographed dance between her and her white Andalusian. She wore an all beige attire. Her white lace blouse was tied by the neck with a silk bow that flew elegantly with every bounce she made. She looked like an angel fallen from heaven riding a pegasus. Blond hair shining and glistening in the morning sunlight. Both Steve and Robin watched intently as they’d slowed down, engaging in pleasant chatter probably about some snobbish topic, like pearls or banquettes. Although it was a blissful sight, Steve still couldn’t figure out why Robin was phased by it so much.
“And we just lost her for the following 5 minutes.” Eddie said as he stood up busying himself with packing away his notebook and guitar.
“What's the big deal?” Steve was thinking so hard that Eddie could almost hear the wheels turning in his head. “She likes, horses?”
Eddie had to compose himself, not to burst out in laughter. “There you go Steve you just cracked it.“ He just patted Steve on the shoulder.
“C’mon man let’s get her a ride” He chuckled.
“What? No! Don’t you dare!” Robin quickly snapped out of her stupor.
“Haha! Watch this! ” It was too late. Eddie was already running to catch up to the ladies.
“Oh…my…God.!” Robin grabbed Steve’s forearm and she seemed like she could faint at any moment. They watched as Eddie started to talk to the women.
“The most pleasant morning to the ladies” Eddie started and bowed theatrically to the three upper class ladies, who watched him from above. The older two didn't even try to hide their disgust, while the youngest shyly observed him.
“See, my friend over there would love to ride a bit, can she?”
“Come on Chrissy darling, don’t care about him.” The older woman spoke, cutting into his sentence.
“Just for a miniature, come on!” Eddie continued but the women kicked their horses on the side and started to giddy up.
“Please it’s her Birthday!” Eddie grinned at the youngest girl while jogging alongside her horse. “Just let her stroke it, please“ He pouted and put his hand together begging.
The blonde girl bit down a small smile, but quickly regained her emotionless expression as her mother scolded her. “Chrissy, what did I just say!”
They were too fast for Eddie to keep up with them, and as quickly as they’d come, they’d left.
“Ughh“ Robing buried her face in her hands and let out a muffled scream..
“Hold me down Steve, cuz I will choke him when he gets back”
“Is he always this . . .” Steve snapped his fingers as he was looking for the right word.
“Insufferable? Yes! Yes he is!” Robin finished it for him. And they shared a look of mutual agreement.
***
After Robin scolded Eddie for about 30 minutes, it was time to pick up Dustin. The plan was that they’ll use Robin’s van so Dustin’s mother won’t get suspicious. Steve learned that Dustin was much younger than them but he was excited to meet him nonetheless. Eddie portrayed him as a child genius. Apparently the two loved the same fantasy books, which Steve never heard of. Something with rings and hobbits whatever that meant.
Firstly they wanted to move the vans to a new spot because according to the radio there was a heatwave coming in the next couple of days. The hippies knew another spot close to a small lake still in Central Park, so they wanted to drive up there. Steve wasn’t complaining, he loved to swim and he was quite good at it. He thought it was a pity that they didn’t select him to be in the Navy.
The hippies were preparing the vans for the move. Steve asked if they needed a helping hand but both said they did it a million times before so actually it would be faster without him.
For the time being, Steve decided to take a quick shower in the public bathroom. Although he was excited for the rest of the day ahead, the conversation he had with Eddie last night still lingered in the back of his mind giving him all kinds of torturous thoughts.
He opened the water and tried to wash his feelings away in the steaming hot shower.
Part of him thought that Eddie was childish and it was his nature to mock and make fun of everyone. But another part of Steve couldn’t shake the thought that Eddie actually couldn’t stand him from the beginning and it wasn’t just innocent teasing. He only let him stay because Robin wanted it. Because Eddie clearly loved her, whether it was romantically or not.
Steve stood under the shower, eyes closed, water running down his face but instead of calming him down, the warm water and the fact that he was alone made his mind race faster than ever.
Why did he have this sudden urge to make himself liked by a stranger? He thought maybe he was just jealous of Eddie’s unapologetic personality. That’s why he felt this mesmerized by him. Steve was convinced his whole life his personality wasn’t interesting or worthy of attention. Maybe he just wanted to be like Eddie? But his throat went dry from the thought that Eddie might not like him. So it wasn't that. He couldn’t figure it out.
In the middle of him dressing up Robin’s voice echoed through the walls of the bathroom.
“Hey Dingus! We’re ready, hurry up! Eddie already left, you'll come with me.”
“Yeah, I’ll be there in a second.” Steve yelled back, suffering to pull up his jeans on his wet tights.
Robin sat behind the wheel ready to leave when Steve slumped into the seat next to her. His hair was still damp from the shower.
“Let’s go Dingus, you will love the lake! Then together we can go pick Dusty up.” She said excitedly.
“Sounds great.” Steve smiled softly. “ But maybe I’ll just stay there waiting for you guys. I don’t wanna bother.”
“What? No Steve. What makes you think you’d bother?” Her eyes grew wild in surprise.
The boy shook his head. “Nothing it’s just . . .” he hesitated, not wanting to hurt the girl’s feelings.
“You’re very sweet for inviting me, and I’m so glad that I met you, but I think Eddie doesn’t like me that much. I’m going to be a soldier, remember?” He gave her a tight lipped smile.
Robin started to giggle and she squeezed Steve’s tight.
“Oh Steve you don’t know anything about Eddie…” she continued. “If it makes you feel better I have never seen him acting so friendly with someone he’d just met. He never invited anyone to his van before. And we’ve met a lot of people here. Trust me dingus he likes you.”
“He never did?” Steve made a face that was of pure confusion.
“He never offered it to anyone before. He is not really a people’s person you know?” Robin stole a glance at him.
Steve needed to process all the information. Eddie wasn’t a people’s person? With all the facade and the show he made simply just talking to someone Steve found it hard to believe. He was loud and obnoxious and he seemed to cast a spell on everyone around him. Including him too. What Steve found even more unbelievable is that he never invented someone into his van before. His heart swelled with all sorts of feelings. Steve didn’t want to allow himself to feel special but he couldn’t help swimming in the thought for a little bit.
Pulling up in the new parking lot the lake appeared through the car window. It was bigger and much prettier than Steve imagined. He also noticed Eddie standing there waiting for them, his back rested against his van, smoking like always. Robin slowed down and parked next to the other vehicle.
“What took so long? Ya ladies are always so slow.” Eddie laid in on the passenger side window, wearing a smug smile. He blew some smoke into the car, right into Steve’s face as he spoke.
“Come on man.” Steve coughed a little, the smoke burning his throat. He wasn’t used to the smell.
“Sorry princess.“ Eddie teased putting out the cigarette on the side of Robin's van.
Steve opened his mouth, then he closed it.
“Just get a room already “ Robin rolled her eyes. “And Munson next time I’ll put out that cigarette in your palm if you disrespect my van again like that.”
Eddie tore open the passenger door wearing a shit eating grin and started to climb in, aiming for the back of the van, but he just struggled to climb his way through Steve who gave out all kinds of sounds of protest.
“Ouch, hey! Stop! “ Steve tried to push Eddie towards the back with not much luck. Finally he managed to climb through and settled in the back. He put his arms on the back of the front seats and leaned forward, head peeking between Robin and Steve.
“Couldn’t you just use the back door?” Steve murmured in annoyance.
“It was faster, we are running late so let’s get this shit rollin’ “ Eddie smiled tapping Robin on the shoulder.
***
They drove for about 20 minutes and although Steve wasn’t familiar with New York he recognized Brooklyn Bridge. They arrived in a friendly middle class neighborhood full of red bricked houses. Every residence had a staircase leading to the street and flowers were decorating the windows pavements.
Robin slowed down as they got close to one of the staircases. She honked two times and they were waiting. Steve felt the tension, it was almost like in an action movie breaking out a prisoner from its cell. But nobody was coming.
Steve peeked back to find Eddie nervously tapping his fingers on the little window at the back.
“Come on buddy.” He mumbled to himself.
“You think his mom’s at home now?” Robin questioned.
“I dunno, but the little shit better hurry up.” Eddie rolled his eyes.
Just when Eddie said it, the basement window seemed to open next to the staircase and a boy tried to squeeze through it to the street. He had a backpack that made the escape a bit complicated but when he got out he started to sprint towards the van.
“Ha! Look at that little shrimp!” Eddie screamed in victory, and he swiftly opened the back doors for the kid to jump in.
Meanwhile the door of the house also swung open, and a woman in a pink apron appeared starting to yell and wave at them!
“Dusty! Dusty baby, come back now!“
“Sorry Ma’ I’ll be back on the weekend I promise! “ the kid yelled back as he quickly hopped into the van shutting the doors behind himself.
Drive! He screamed at Robin who stepped on the gas so hard that the wheels gave out a terrible squeaking sound on the concrete.
“Shit “ Eddie swore as he fell back from the force and Robin and Steve glanced at each other bursting into laughter.
“Jesus what took so long guys? After my mom didn’t let me out I thought you would signal on the radio or something! That was yesterday! And who’s Mr. Perfect hair guy?“ The kid squeaked.
“Hi,” Steve smiled dumbly, waving from the passenger seat.
“Dustin this is Steve! He is part of the gang now!“ Robin glanced back at the younger boy.
“He’s a soldier.“ Eddie whispered theatrically, not even trying to keep his voice down.
The younger boy started to chortle looking at Eddie. ”So is he going to “butt-hole”?
Steve raised an eyebrow.
“Like ‘battle’ ha, ha.. You get it..No? “ the younger one sighed but Eddie jumped at him and wrestled the kid playfully. They were screaming and giggling at the back.
Steve peeked into the rear mirror wearing an annoyed frown.
He sighed with realization that the kid was just a miniature version of Eddie. Exactly like him. Steve glanced at Robin who gave him a sympathetic smile and Steve knew it’s gonna be a long couple of days.
***
The heatwave arrived just like the radio predicted it but the hippies really knew the good spots. Camping next to the small lake was a bliss. They were swimming and playing during the noon when it was the hottest, and rested in the afternoons. Steve got them groceries because he noticed this was something that the hippies really seemed to struggle with. He thought it was a small contribution since Eddie basically let him live in his van for free.
It was the beginning of June and the weather became significantly warmer, they weren’t freezing in the van at night anymore. But just when Steve thought one problem was solved he had to face another. Eddie started to wear less and less clothes to sleep, and if he wasn’t a distracting sight to Steve before, he was definitely one now. Not that Steve was any more modest than him. He was also shirtless most of the night. Dustin even noted on it, saying he wanted to have a similar upper body when he will be older with the hair and all, because apparently “chicks love it.”
Dustin had his own little tent that he slept in, and they made campfires every night. The mood was always elevated thanks to Eddie’s magic cigarettes he rolled by himself, that Robin just called “wacky baccy.” Steve didn’t like the smell of it too much so he never tried it, even though Eddie tried to convince him that it would relax him and he wouldn’t be so rigid all the time. Dustin however was begging to get some which the two older ones usually refused. But Eddie always sang and played music on his guitar.
Some days they were wandering in the park, on others they joined protests. Central Park was really the center of everything Steve noted. He didn’t want to participate much in these so-called protests, because he didn’t need to hear anything that would make him question things about the decision he’d already made. These gatherings were quite chaotic for him anyways. The music was good but every single time when they attended one, Robin and Eddie disappeared for a while, looking for some guy with sugar cubes. Steve was the babysitter and stayed with Dustin whom he secretly started to grow fond of. When they got back to the vans Eddie and Robin laid down looking at the stars and didn’t move for hours which sometimes made Steve worried. But the next day they always seemed fine so that’s just how it was with these two.
And some days, he liked these the most, he and Eddie just walked around the lake at midnight. When it was only just the two of them the hippie seemed more calm and laid back, it was easier to talk to him. In fact Steve found that it was easier to talk to him than to anyone else he ever knew. Eddie always seemed eager to listen to whatever Steve decided to share. Steve more often found himself sharing things with him that he hadn't told to anyone before. And Eddie liked to listen. On occasion he pointed out facts or the morals to Steve about his own story that put things into an interesting perspective, things he would never have thought by himself. He shared about his childhood and family which wasn’t an easy topic for him either but Eddie was especially quiet on those days and Steve never pressured him to share anything that he wasn’t comfortable with. Eddie was never boring, Steve started to understand that the sarcastic humor and jokes came from a very sharp and intelligent mind. They both seemed to care very much about Robin and Dustin which was a usual topic of theirs and made them bond on a deeper level. Just like the sun and the moon they were two very different personalities but they’d become bonded by the stars, and found each other in an unexpected way.
Instead of reasoning against the war, Eddie started to share more about the lifestyle he lived, and about things that he believed in, making it easier for Steve to get to know his perspective.
Eddie was still himself, but the constant teasing towards Steve became more toned down and was replaced with subtle little gestures. Small things that were hard to notice from the outside but they stirred bigger waves of confusion in Steve than a hurricane could on the open ocean. Eddie would bring him trinkets like rocks that he found, or make a flower crown to Steve telling him it’s for “ not to stand out like a sore thumb “.
Life became beautifully uneventful for Steve. He blossomed around the hippies.
***
“Holy shit!“ Eddie’s voice broke the silence that morning!
He was panting, just arriving back from his morning shower to the vans. He aggressively banged a couple times on the side of Robin’s van, but he only received an angry “Fuck off “ from the girl who was still trying to sleep in there.
“Oh you really wanna see this! Get up!” He giggled and walked to his own car where Steve was still sleeping peacefully.
It was late June already and Steve picked up on Eddie’s habit of not wearing anything to sleep, just underwear. Eddie let his gaze roam over Steve’s perfectly built body. In his eyes Steve was like a Greek god, timelessly ethereal in his somberness. He cursed himself for disturbing his rest which seemed so tranquil.
“Stevie, hey!“ Eddie gently grabbed Steve’s ankle trying to wake him.
“Mmm” Steve hummed, refusing to open his eyes.
“Sweetheart, wake up.” Eddie squeezing his ankle a little harder finally made Steve look at him. Eyes drowsy from sleep.
His stomach fluttered when Eddie called him sweetheart, it happened a few times. It wasn’t unusual that Eddie gave him all sorts of pet names. He teased Steve from the moment they met. However this one sounded different every time he said it. Steve couldn’t find the sarcasm in his voice. At least that’s what he liked to believe.
“Mmm what time is it? What happened? You ok?” Steve rubbed his eyes sitting up in the bed. Although he didn’t see it, he knew Eddie was smiling just by hearing his voice, so sweet and low.
“I’m very OK Stevie, come on get up, I have to show you guys something.“ He said excitedly.
At last Robin and Dustin have also crawled out of their beds. They all sat around the fire pit from yesterday night. Steve was getting into his pants at the back, while Eddie seemed a little too eager to make an announcement. He held a newspaper in his hands that was more wrinkly than a raisin.
“Look. At. This.!“ He hit the paper with the back of his hand, proudly holding it up for everyone to see.
“What’s the news?” Dustin questioned squinting to see something.
Steve also tried to make out what the newspaper said.
“Just look! It’s the chic on the horse!“
“The chick on the horse? Eddie slow down!” Dustin was confused.
Robin’s face went pale.
“It’s the annual banquet and it’s tonight! The pretty blonde’s folks hosting it! We could shake up that shit party for sure, there will be food and drinks. Come on everybody, I need more enthusiasm here!“ Eddie folded his arms in front of him.
“Yeah, no.” Robin said, pointing her finger at the other hippie.
“Do you have an invitation that we don’t know about?” Dustin questioned, sarcasm tinted his words.
“Oh don’t worry my unimaginative little friend, I have ways.” Eddie smirked, his hands were messing with the younger boy's hair.
Steve was quiet in the background. Somehow Eddie’s sudden interest in the girl made his heart twist painfully. He called her pretty. His face had a sour expression even though he tried his best to hide it.
“Well, I agree with Robin, what if something goes wrong.“ Steve finally spoke, not making eye contact with Eddie.
“Come on Y’all are so not fun.“ Eddie frowned.
“Well if there’s food ya know you can count me in.” Dustin replied.
***
It took a lot of convincing for Robin to agree to this but here they were on the way to a fancy banquet that they didn’t have an invitation to. One thing about Eddie was that nobody would question him about his story, his charisma was like a shield and he clearly knew how to spin the yarn. He got entry for all four of them to a very posh upper class gathering without much trouble. Steve was low key impressed by how good the guy could be with his words sometimes. Or more like how well he could lie.
Steve wore his old khaki suit that was missing a button, and even like this he stood out like a sore thumb. Not mentioning the rest of the gang. People around them were wealthy aristocrats, wearing smoking suits and the ladies were strolling around in their fancy dresses and feathers on their hats.
“Ok let’s blend in.” Eddie said to them, then he disappeared into the sea of people.
“Great.” Robin threw her hands to the air and he slumped down to a chair.
“Well, I don’t know about you two but I’ll go grab snacks.” Dustin exclaimed then he also went out of sight.
Steve and Robin sat at the small table in this beautiful garden, trying to be as undetectable as possible but a butler spotted them.
“Son come here.” he motioned to one of the waiters who carried some finger food around on a silver plate.
“Do you see those two at the table? And that younger one there.” He pointed out to the young waiter.
“Who are those people? Who did they come with?” I want to know, go ask them.” The butler ordered.
Dustin carried a bunch of small plates in his hands putting them in front of the two older ones.
“You guys have to try these.” Dustin said, just when the waiter arrived at their table.
“Khm” He cleared his throat and both Steve and Robin petrified.
“Madam, Sir, may I ask who you come with?” The waiter questioned.
“We’re with Mr. Munson.” Dustin responded calmly, stuffing a small bread with caviar into his mouth.
“I see, sorry for the disruption, enjoy your time.” The waiter turned heel and walked away.
“Penguin.” Dustin giggled and both Robin and Steve sighed in relief at not being caught.
“They came with Mr. Munson, sir. ” the waiter reported proudly.
“With Mr. Munson?” The butler’s forehead furrowed.
“Yes, sir.” the young boy confirmed.
“But who the hell is Mr. Munson?”
***
Eddie was looking for Chrissy in the mansion while the others waited outside. He bumped into people who looked at him strangely but he just bowed and waved to the ladies who passed him by and nobody seemed to care that much. By the time they’d realized he might not belong there, he was already out of sight. When he arrived upstairs he peeked around. Footsteps and two older gentleman’s voices spooked him. Eddie quickly grabbed the door knob on the closest door and he jumped in there avoiding being caught.
“What are you doing here?” A surprised voice made him turn swiftly, finding himself facing the young equestrian from the park.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to scare you.” the hippie smirked, holding up his hands in front of him.
“You didn’t. I’m just surprised” the girl’s mouth curled into a smile. She was in the middle of dressing up, her beautiful white gown wasn’t zipped up all the way on her back so she had to hold in, pressing the dress to her chest to avoid it from falling down.
Eddie stepped closer looking down at her tiny frame, she looked fragile next to the hippie.
“Let me help.” He offered and circled the girl, finding the zipper of her dress. His big hands gently pulled it up for her.
“If my father finds out that you and your friends are here you can get into trouble.” She cautioned, not feeling intimidated by Eddie at all.
“I know, I was looking for you actually. Here!” The long haired boy grabbed her hand and placed a small piece of paper in her palm.
“Come hang out with us tonight, my friend really wants to meet you. We’re at the park. You could take a taxi or something.” He grinned at the girl.
Meanwhile Steve and Robin grew more worried outside. The longer they stayed the bigger the chance was that someone would discover them and call the police. They were unwanted guests after all. Steve’s eyes were raking through the people in the garden but he couldn’t find Eddie. His gaze lifted to the mansion and its windows when he finally spotted him. Spotted them. Eddie stood behind the blond girl, his hand running over her back, zipping up her dress. His body towering over her petite one. She held her hair away from her nape so it wouldn’t catch. They were far away, yet it was a painfully clear sight to Steve. Everything was there. The smile, the smugness, the close proximity and Steve could feel her anticipation, she was waiting for Eddie to touch her. His head was spinning. It felt like someone just poured a bucket of ice cold water into his neck.
And it didn’t stop there, Steve slowly started to feel that the world was closing in on him. A suffocating feeling of a harsh realization. Because he finally understood. All this time he tried to figure out this magnetism towards Eddie. The fascination. The tension. And it was there, presented to him like a slap in the face. He didn’t want to be like Eddie. He wanted Eddie. He wanted Eddie to touch him, to look at him like he did look at that girl. Steve wanted to crawl out of his skin. He wanted to run, and hide. What was wrong with him? Eddie was a boy. Thoughts ran through him like an electric shock and he was disgusted with himself. He suddenly wanted everything from the hippie. Everything and nothing. A shiver ran down his spine and he felt he would throw up.
“Steve! Are you ok?” Robin’s concerned voice struck his ears.
“I want to leave.” Steve blurted.
“You spoke from my heart, let’s find Eddie and get out of here.” She said standing from her seat.
***
“I don’t even know your name. Why would I go there?” The blonde asked, her blue eyes huge as two plates.
“Cuz you’re a pretty bird, closed in a shitty cage. That’s why. I know you want to. Come have fun, live a little Chrissy. My friend is really great.“ Eddie grinned and turned to leave.
“Ok. Ok, I’ll try. But tell me your name at least.” She reached after him.
“It’s Eddie. Eddie Munson.” The boy gave him a small bow and slipped out the door.
She stood there for a moment with a smile playing on her lips, then she folded out the little paper Eddie gave her. It was their location and a little note.
“My friend thinks you’re hot.”
Eddie was running downstairs out the door to the garden when he accidentally bumped into the butler.
“Shit” His breath hitched.
“Police, someone call the police!” The butler yelled and suddenly every eye was on him, the sea of people in the garden started to stir in panic. The ladies screeched worriedly in the background, while the gentleman muttered in outrage.
Eddie’s gaze found a distressed Steve close to the gate. Robin and Dustin right behind him. He hastily looked around searching for a possible escape route for himself and the perfect opportunity for a grant exit offered itself.
“Run!” Eddie yelled to the others, then between a manic laugh and Vivaldi playing in the background, he jumped on the long table that was prepared for the evening dinner for the guests. The yells and screams from the crowd made him satisfied enough, fine china and glass breaking with every step he made. The ladies were gasping for air seeing this atrocity. He stopped in the middle for a short moment.
“Make love not war you stuck up snob motherfuckers!” He shouted.
He grinned so widely that all 32 of his teeth were fleshed, rendering them speechless as he climbed through the wall behind him. He found himself on the street now seeing Robin and the others running towards him. Luck was on their side, as they could hop in the van and leave just before the police arrived.
Dude that was insane! Dustin screeched holding his head in pure ecstasy.
It was madness! Both Robin and Steve yell in tandem!
***
Eddie told them arriving back at the lake, that she found Chrissy and gave her the note. Robin seemed less mad at the long hair hippie but was anxious, preparing herself for the blonde girl to be a no show. And Steve? Steve was more quiet than usual. He retreated back to Eddie’s van with the excuse of a headache.
The sun was setting. Dustin and Eddie made a bonfire and everyone waited for Chrissy to show up. Everyone except Steve.
Eddie walked to his car to grab his guitar out of the front seat, but in reality he just wanted to check on Steve.
“Hey sweetheart, are ya alright?” He whispered gently not to make Steve’s headache worse.
“Don’t call me that.” Steve bit rather aggressively.
“Whoa! Hold your horses! “ Eddie silenced him. “You didn’t seem to have an issue with it before. What’s up with you?”
“Nothing. Just stop mocking me. I’m not in the mood.” Steve grumbled.
“Tsk, well I can see that.” Eddie glided his tongue over his teeth, he was left with confusion. “Um. Ok, I will grab the guitar and we can talk about it later. If you want. Or you can just sleep it off.” The hippie shrugged.
When he walked back to the campfire with his guitar, he could hear a car stopping, gravel grinding under its wheels.
“Holy shit!” Robin huffed in utter shock.
“She came!” Dustin hopped up from the log he was sitting on.
Steve, hearing the others, grabbed a pillow and bit down on it. He hoped Chrissy wouldn’t show up. He wished to sulk quietly, in peace. But now he had put on a show in this emotionally exhausted state.
“Look who decided to bless us with her presence, Miss Cunningham!” Eddie’s voice was sweeter than usual.
Chrissy smiled sweetly, waving everyone a shy “Hi”.
Robin gave her a dorky smile as she waved frantically.
“Thank you guys for inviting me. I saw you guys today at the party and . . .” Chrissy started.
“We are really sorry about the mess!” Robin blurted, “Right Eddie? Really sorry!” She gave the other hippie a death stare.
“No, no. It was actually quite fun to watch. That’s all I’ve seen in my whole life. The endless banquets and parties make me sick already. Parading around in pretty dresses, talking and walking like a doll. I saw you guys last time in the park and I was envious…” Chrissy trailed off.
“Envious?” Robin’s eyes grew wild.
“Yes! That you guys are so free. You say what you want, do what you want. And you are there for each other.” She starched the dirt with her shoes. “So thanks for literally crashing that shit party.” She giggled.
Steve harked, still hiding in the van. The whole situation became more and more painful by the minute because he just simply couldn’t hate her. No matter how hard he tried not to like her, or believe she was the enemy Chrissy was an absolute angel. Steve understood Eddie wanting to flirt with her. She was beautiful, and chatty and feminine, everything that he wasn’t. But regardless of her sweet personality he hated the circumstances.
The mood around the campfire quickly became elevated, and the next thing Steve heard was Eddie’s voice as he began to sing.
“The Eastern world, it is explodin’
Violence flarin’, bullets loadin’
You’re old enough to kill but not for votin’
You don’t believe in war, but what’s that gun you’re totin’
And even the Jordan river has bodies floatin’
But you tell me
Over and over and over again my friend
How you don’t believe
We’re on the eve of destruction…”
It was cruel. Steve knew it was addressed to him. Eddie was gaslighting him and it worked because Steve crawled out of the van like a grizzly bear who’s ready to hunt. But instead of violence he decided to put his charm into use.
“Hey there, sorry I’m late, I had a terrible migraine.” Steve scratched his nape, walking up to Chrissy. He was shirtless and both Eddie and Robin darted their gaze at him as he stood there looking handsome as hell.
“Oh hi! Don’t worry I get it, those are the worst. I also have them sometimes.” She smiled sweetly trying to look Steve in the eye because indeed his chest was distracting.
“I’m Steve” He smirked, taking the girl’s hand into his, and kissed her knuckles like Eddie always did with Robin.
“I’m Chrissy, nice to meet you Steve.” She replied, a bashful smile playing on her pink lips.
The hippie gave Steve a criminal stare, but he stood his ground as their gazes met.
“Well, how did you like the song? Eddie is such a great singer isn’t he? You know what they say, who can’t do it, will sing about it.” Steve said it focusing on Chrissy, completely closing the others out.
“What I'm saying is that, he is charming but when it comes to duty he will turn heels and run.” Steve whispered to Chrissy openly so that everyone could hear.
“Ha-ha-ha” Eddie fake laughed, “Look at you Harrington, what a sense of humor.”
“I’ve learned from the best” Condescending tinted Steve’s voice.
“Ok um, I sense some tensions, how about we all just take a swim to cool down?” Robin stood up and grabbed Chrissy’s hand pulling her towards the lake, they started to chortle as they ran hand in hand, then Robin took off her shirt and pants and jumped in. It was quite dark, but Chrissy stood there in hesitation.
Dustin passed by her sprinting into the water too.
“Come on, it's fun!” Dustin yelled.
“Come on Chrissy!” Robin chimed in.
They both giggled, the water carrying the echo of their voices. The reflection of the skyscrapers were painted on the water, it was clear and smooth like a mirror. Million little lights beamed and danced on the surface. Finally the blonde girl gave in and took off her dress too, slowly walking into the water.
“Will you hold my hand?” She asked Robin worriedly, who swam closer to the shore to guide her in the dark water.
“Sure, grab my hands! You will be fine. I'm here.” Their voices became muffled as they played in the lake.
And Steve and Eddie stood in silence for a long minute.
“You’re a real ass, you know that right?” Steve said it simply and started to walk back to the van.
“Me? I’m the real ass, really? Then how would you describe yourself, Harrington? Mr. Savior of our nation?” Eddie barked viciously.
Steve didn’t stop like he hadn't heard Eddie.
The hippie stood up, he followed Steve, and before he could get in the van he hauled him back by the arm.
“What is wrong with you Steve?” His brows were knitted together as he growled at the other boy.
“Nothing's wrong with me! What’s wrong with you!?” Steve yelled into Eddie’s face. “Since we’ve met you constantly making fun of me, humiliating me, but you’re such a snake you’re doing it secretly, yet in front of everyone because you know that only I would understand the implications. Your disguised mockery is making me nauseous. Calling me little names like you care, or that you’re liking me just so that you can make fun of me publicly, make me uncomfortable in front of everyone.” Steve’s mouth was trembling.
He hated himself but he wanted to hurt Eddie for all the feelings he made Steve feel.
Eddie stood there dumbfounded. His face reflected something unreadable. He was absolutely taken aback by Steve’s reaction that came out of nowhere. He’d never seen Steve get mad once. And he still didn’t know what triggered the boy so much to lash out like this.
“Ok, well I don’t know what the fuck are you talking about Steve.” Eddie sucked on his teeth “You have no business telling me who I like or not, and I must be a shitty friend if I came across so evil to you Harrington, because I actually like you, believe it or not.” Eddie tore his gaze away from Steve looking if the others were listening to their argument. But they didn’t. Dustin was still jumping from the rocks to the lake, and Robin was engaged braiding Chrissy's hair, giggling between each other.
Eddie sighed, returning his attention to Steve.
“I’m gonna bring back Chrissy now, you stay with Robin. When I’m back we can talk about it if you’re willing to pull out your head from your ass,ok?” Eddie offered.
Steve hopped out of the van not even looking at him walking away towards Robin's van.
It was way past midnight and Chrissy said her goodbyes, thanking Robin the fun time and the nice braid she made. Gave Dustin and Steve a wave and she walked away with Eddie to his van and they pulled out of the parking lot.
Dustin was sleepy after having fun in the water for more than two hours so he decided that he will go to sleep.
Robin was all giddy, but finding Steve looking deeply triggered feet dangling down from the back of her van, her good mood quickly evaporated.
“Steve?” She approached carefully, like she would approach a wounded animal.
Steve lifted his head, eye glistening from the tears.
“Is there any chance that you got that “magic smoke?” He offered a weak smile and Robin couldn’t say no.
They sat in the van doors closed. The devil’s lettuce tinted the air with swirling forms of gray smoke and Steve felt like he would melt into the pillows.
“What was that . . . out there?” Robin questioned with honest concern in her red eyes.
“We argued.” Steve said simply staring at the ceiling.
“Yeah well no shit, Dingus. One doesn’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure that out.” She huffed, exhaling some smoke.
Steve coughed a bit, he still didn’t like the smell but he was feeling numb from it at least.
“I just . . . I don’t like the way he plays me. He casts his magic spell, and I feel like I’m drowning in . . .” Steve stopped himself, because he was a bit more honest than he intended to be.
“ Steve. Whatever is that you’re saying, you must know that you can trust me, ok? I’m your friend.” Robin placed her hand on Steve’s. “Are you trying to say what I think you’re trying to say?” She raised her eyebrows working hard to figure out Steve’s riddles.
“What is wrong with me Robin?” Steve was probably the most vulnerable at this moment. “I don’t know what to do.” He was pleading for sympathy.
Robin launched herself and hugged Steve so tightly that he couldn’t breathe for a moment.
“You’re such a Dingus! Oh my God! I would never have thought that.” She held him.
“That I’m a freak?” Steve chuckled weakly.
“No. That someone could fall so bad for my other Dingus.” she bursted out in laughter.
“Well, it’s pretty easy. He is too smooth. How come you never fell for his charm?“ Steve pulled away from the hug looking into the girl's eyes. He felt his heart was filled to the brim with love for her.
Robin’s face was split with a shit eating grin as she scooted back resting her back at the wall.
“Oh Steve.” She sounded like she got the upper hand here. “You really don’t understand, do you?” She giggled.
“Why do you think Chrissy was invited? Why did Eddie run after them in the park that day? And no it wasn’t the horses before you say that.” She teased.
Steve was silent, staring in front of himself like an idiot.
“He did it because of me. Because he knows I think she’s pretty. But I never had the courage to make a move. He was helping me out.” Now Robin seemed vulnerable as she spoke.
“Wait. But Chrissy is a girl.”
“Yeah. And Eddie is a boy, Steve.”
“Holy shit..” Steve gasped.
“Yeah holy shit,” Robin agreed.
“But, I don’t understand, I saw Eddie flirting with her. If he was trying to help you get her, why would he do that?” Steve was absolutely confused.
“He didn’t flirt with Chrissy,... you did.” Robin pointed out.
“Me? I did not!” Steve defended himself, then he realized.
“Shit. I only did it to annoy Eddie, I was hurt and it was fucking mean I know but I couldn’t help it.”
“Well the only person you were annoying was me.” she giggled lightheartedly.
Steve felt absolutely ridiculous.
“Hey it’s ok. We had a good time anyway.” She consoled him.
“So if he didn’t flirt with her . . .” Steve’s thoughts hit him like an avalanche, he snapped his head at Robin looking for an answer in her eyes. His heart was in his throat pounding so hard that it was painful because he couldn’t believe that it could be true.
“As I said you don’t know anything about Eddie. I can’t speak for him, Steve. You have to talk to him.” She put her hand on the boy’s shoulder.
“He’s mad at me now, rightfully.“ Steve immediately felt sick about how he spoke to Eddie at the van.
“He will live, but you need to tell him Steve.” She smiled, pinching the boy’s cheek. “Aren’t you two such dinguses?”
***
Steve was clear out of his mind for the first time in his 20 years. Liberating wasn’t even a proper word to describe how he felt. The secret that took way too long for even himself to figure out, was out. The secret that was weighing on his shoulders, spreading like poison in his veins was out of his system. He shared it with Robin and not only she didn’t get disgusted by him, she was even supporting. He could be confined to her and that was the best feeling on earth. Steve knew Robin was his rock, his true friend. But his feelings were still difficult to process being completely new to him and it was scary. Telling Eddie how he was longing for him for so long was terrifying. First he had to cool down and came to terms with his own emotions only then he could try to tell Eddie. There were a lot of factors that scared him shitless. What if Eddie would not forgive him? What if he was too harsh? What if . . . and this was the hardest of them all . . . what if Eddie would turn him down?
It was very late, and Robin fell asleep next to him. He covered her with a blanket he found in her bed. Just when he thought he would follow suit, he heard the familiar sound of Eddie’s old van pulling up to the parking lot.
Steve swallowed his pride, climbed out of Robin's van and walked to Eddie’s.
The back doors were wide open, the gentle summer breeze played with the curtains as he knocked on the doors. A polite gesture after the horrendous way he behaved.
“Come on in.” Eddie sounded tired.
“Hey.” Steve stepped in front of the other boy who was laying in the bed.
“Listen Eddie.. I was a douchebag, and I’m so sorry for it. I regret the things I’ve said. I was confused. With myself and I took it out on you.” Steve fought hard to push down his emotions.
“No, you weren’t. It seems I really hurt you, and you must know that it was never my intention. So I apologize. As I said I would like to talk about it if you’re open for it, but not tonight. I’m exhausted.”
“I accept the apology.” Steve crawled next to him “If you accept mine.” He looked Eddie levelly as he smiled gently.
The hippie held his gaze and Steve felt the world was right again.
“A snake really?” The hippie started to laugh so hard that tears ran down his cheeks.
Steve couldn’t hold back and he laughed with him because it all seemed so comical and dramatic looking back at it. They were good and that’s all that mattered. For now.
