Chapter Text
Stede wakes up to light streaming in his bedroom window. He must have slept in. He does feel quite refreshed. Opening his eyes lazily, the first thing he sees is a pile of clothes tossed haphazardly on the carpet. Hmmm. Stede is usually fastidious about his clothes, why are—oh no. Whipping his head to the side, he sees he’s not alone in the bed. Ed seems to be deeply asleep, his hair an unruly halo on the pillow. He’s wearing (for some reason) Stede’s new blue Jeopardy! t-shirt. “The Question Is the Answer,” reads Ed’s chest. Now, what was the question again? Stede looks down to see that he’s wearing a t-shirt with a picture of the UC Santa Cruz banana slug, and below that (thank God) a pair of clean underwear. He has to get out of this bed, has to clear his head. But despite his best effort to slip away, he jostles the mattress and Ed wakes up with a little snort (oh no, it’s adorable). “’Morning,” Ed says, squeezing his eyes open and shut a few times and brushing his hair away from his face.
“Good morning, hope you slept well, I certainly did, why don’t you take a shower?” Stede blurts out in one hurried breath. He barely pauses to inhale. “There are towels in the cabinet, and a toothbrush in the drawer. Not my toothbrush—ha ha!” He actually pronounces the words ha and ha. “A new toothbrush! In the package! Anyway, I’ll make some coffee.” He launches himself the rest of the way out of the bed and sprints to the kitchen.
Stede has an elaborate French press routine, which he is grateful for because it keeps his hands busy while his mind bounces between conflicting emotions. He is nearly overwhelmed with embarrassment at what happened last night. The pile of laundry on his floor was an instant and horrible reminder of his atrocious behavior and total lack of self-control. Despite his attempts to keep to their agreement, he had clearly taken advantage of Ed with his blatantly inappropriate conduct. Yet Ed had also clearly been...intrigued. Stede had never seen anything like the show Ed put on last night. And he can’t deny the rush of delight he felt at seeing Ed in his bed this morning—at least until he was overcome by fear. And what must Ed be feeling? He must be utterly embarrassed too; surely he wasn’t himself last night. Maybe they can form some sort of tacit agreement never to speak of what happened.
Stede hears the shower turn off as he’s pressing the plunger of the French press. He fills a mug with coffee and sets out milk and sugar, more sugar than he thinks one person could possibly want. He doesn’t look up as he hears the bathroom door open. “Coffee’s ready! This one’s for you! I’ll be in the shower!” They cross paths, however, as Stede rushes back into the bedroom. Stede blinks and everything slows down for a moment. Ed has Stede’s robe wrapped around him, the tie trailing behind as he holds it loosely closed with his hand.
Ed hesitates a moment as their eyes lock. “Uh, I hope this is OK. It was hanging in the bathroom. I’m not sure where my clothes are—”
“Perfectly fine! They’re over there!” Stede gestures at the pile of their clothes, mingled on the floor, as he rushes headlong into the bathroom.
Stede takes the coldest shower he can stand, for as long as he can stand. But eventually his teeth are chattering and he can’t feel his toes. It’s time to face whatever’s to come. Perhaps Ed has simply gathered his things and left. Honestly, this is probably what Stede would have done. It would be the least awkward way to end this most awkward time. But he finds, with some surprise, that the thought of opening the door to an empty room leaves him with a pang in his chest. Opening the door to a room with Ed in it, though? Terrifying.
Stede emerges from the bathroom, with a wholly inadequate towel wrapped around his middle, since Ed has stolen his robe. Ed is lounging in the bed, still wearing the robe, still clearly wearing only the robe. It’s open and Stede can now fully see the hawk tattooed on Ed’s chest, and hints of a few other designs elsewhere. Ed’s hair is damp, dripping little rivulets of water down his chest. He’s picked up Stede’s reading glasses from the bedside table along with the Trivia Almanac, which he’s holding rather strategically over his lap as he reads. He looks up at Stede. “Thanks for the coffee. Coincidentally, guess what I just read in your book?—do you know which country exports the most coffee?” Stede is frozen in the doorway, unable to speak, clutching the towel around his waist. Ed must mistake his deer-in-the-headlights expression as confusion about coffee, so he picks up the book and turns it around to show Stede the graph on the page (“Look, it’s Brazil”) and Stede gets a glimpse of—well, it’s Ed’s cock. Ed’s fucking beautiful cock. Again. He grips the towel tighter, aware of the physical reaction the towel is (barely) hiding. Without really meaning to, he starts to walk backwards, into the bathroom (A grown man! About to hide in a bathroom! And how long can he possibly stay in there?) until Ed looks at him over the reading glasses and says softly, “Stede.”
“Mmmmm?” Stede manages, an octave too high.
Ed pats the empty space next to him. “Come back to bed, Stede.”
Stede climbs onto the bed and attempts to crawl across it, struggling to keep the towel wrapped until Ed catches the corner of it and gives a little tug. Stede’s instinct is to pull back (a tug-of-war? Really?) but the look Ed is giving him momentarily deprives him of the required coordination and he lets the towel fall. He’s rewarded with a smile from Ed that looks almost shy, and Stede tries to settle himself onto the bed in a position that’s close enough to Ed without actually touching him, while projecting the impression that he’s perfectly comfortable being fully naked in bed next to the most handsome man he’s ever seen. He doesn’t succeed.
But it doesn’t seem to bother Ed. He takes off Stede’s reading glasses and gently sets them on the bedside table. Then he walks his fingers across the few inches of sheets between them and hooks them around Stede’s fingers. They’re holding hands. It feels like electricity is coursing through Stede’s body. It’s fine, or else he might die.
“I want to be clear with you,” Ed begins. Stede braces himself for disaster, opens his mouth to start apologizing for something, but Ed talks right over him. “Last night, when we—when you—I really wanted to. I would have had you right there on that couch. But you were so fucked up.” Stede raises his eyebrows, tips his head a little to the side. Ed admits, “OK, I was too. But I’m feeling clear-headed now and—I still want to.” His voice rises a little on the last word, making it almost a question.
Ed is looking at Stede now; the expression on his face is one Stede’s never seen there before. It’s hopeful, it’s vulnerable, and it sets his heart pounding and his body moving before his brain has time to catch up. Still holding Ed’s hand, he leans forward and, with his other hand, slips the sleeve of the robe off Ed’s shoulder and down his arm. He presses his lips to the tail of the snake tattoo on Ed’s right shoulder. Holding eye contact, he kisses down the twisted length of the snake to its head on the back of Ed’s hand. And then, with only a slight hesitation as he ignores his better judgement—he takes two of Ed’s fingers into his mouth and sucks on them, lapping his tongue along the pads of Ed’s fingers as he looks into Ed’s eyes. No going back now.
The sound Ed makes—well, Stede has never been the reason for anyone to make a sound like that before. Ed practically throws himself on Stede, ripping his fingers away so he can crush Stede’s mouth with a kiss, pushing his back up against the padded headboard. His hands are in Stede’s hair, on his chest, tracing down his side and along his thigh. Stedetries his best to keep up, tries to stay conscious as Ed latches onto his neck, licking and sucking. The shivers all through his body make it hard to coordinate his movements, but he manages to tug the robe the rest of the way off Ed’s other arm, exposing his back. Stede runs his fingers down the ridge of Ed’s spine, then curves around his waist to feel the softness of his belly as Ed sucks a hickey into his neck.
“Someone will see that later,” Stede murmurs. It’s the wrong thing to say, as Ed disengages from his task and looks at Stede with concern.
“Hey, I’m sorry, I—”
“No, never mind, I take it back, it’s definitely invisible,” Stede insists, guiding Ed’s head gently back where it was. He feels Ed’s smile against his neck and then the soft sweep of Ed’s tongue licking over the mark he’s made. Stede breathes out a sigh. His head feels like it’s dissolving, a tablet fizzing in a glass of water.
“We OK?” Ed lifts his head to check in, and Stede realizes he hasn’t moved for some time. He thinks he could probably spend all day just letting Ed explore the terrain of his neck and collarbone with this tongue, but that suddenly strikes him as selfish.
“Yeah,” says Stede, hoping to convey just how incredibly OK he feels with a single syllable. He lifts a heavy arm to sweep a strand of Ed’s hair behind his ear, then brings his thumb down to wipe away a drip of water from his chest. The motion brushes Ed’s nipple, producing an “Mmmm” from Ed that sends a charge all through Stede’s body. He lets his thumb linger there, sweeping in a little circle that widens to brush the soft, dark hair growing around Ed’s nipple. Stede dips his head and lets his tongue caress it, now raised and clearly very sensitive. It would be terribly rude to neglect the other one, so he trails kisses across Ed’s chest to the other side, sucking lightly at that nipple and feeling it stiffen as he grazes it with his teeth.
Ed pulls back, gasping. Stede preens a little, seeing how flustered Ed looks. He gives him a moment, checking in with his own body (aroused) and Ed’s (also aroused, and, Jesus fucking Christ, so gorgeous). He feels like laughing because something is very much happening here. His instinct is to start babbling, but for once, he can’t find any words so he just grins, watching as Ed takes a couple of breaths, eyes closed.
Ed’s eyes fly open and his hand moves to Stede’s shoulder, guiding him down until he’s reclining on the pillows. Ed’s over him and slightly to the side, his chest pressed to Stede’s and his face above him as his hair spills over them both like a curtain. He catches Stede’s eyes, raises his eyebrows in a question and Stede nods, fast. Ed brings his lips down to Stede’s and kisses him deeply and thoroughly, letting his tongue roam Stede’s mouth as if he’s mapping and claiming every part of it for himself.
The only natural place for Stede to rest his hand is on Ed’s lower back, just above the swell of his buttocks, so he does, then lets it drift lower down over the soft curve to where it meets Ed’s leg. He squeezes a little and feels Ed squirm against him, his kiss intensifying and getting a little more sloppy. Their teeth click together briefly and Ed huffs out a little chuckle. He brings his hand up and weaves it through Stede’s hair, letting his cheek rest against Stede’s for a moment. Stede’s hand, still roaming, brushes over the cleft of Ed’s ass, and he lets it linger there, suggestively, feeling the heat under his fingertips, the perfect softness of Ed’s skin.
Stede’s cock aches; Ed hasn’t even touched him there, but he knows he’s desperately hard and probably leaking. He has to have Ed closer, urgently, so he shifts his hips, presses with his hand on Ed’s lower back to try to communicate what he needs. Ed’s breath blows hot in his ear.
“God, you’re eager,” Ed says. A pause, a little ice-cold pang in Stede’s chest. “I am too.” Relief and desire flood over Stede, and somehow an actual coherent thought surfaces too, and he remembers that his bedside table is stocked with condoms and lube, put there aspirationally when he moved into the apartment. He lifts his hand and gestures in vaguely the right direction. “I have—in the drawer—”
“Not yet,” says Ed. “I think we can take our time.” Stede is very sure he cannot but he wants desperately to please Ed so he bites his lip and nods. Ed, blessedly, does shift his hips so they align with Stede’s. Propping himself up with one arm, he brings the other hand up to his mouth, looks Stede in the eye, and licks his palm. He reaches down, agonizingly slowly, and takes hold of both their cocks together. Stede squirms at the overwhelming sensation and rolls his shoulders back involuntarily, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, opening them to see Ed’s look of concern. “It’s good—I’m good,” Stede stammers. He’s forgotten his hands exist, but he remembers them again and lets them roam up and down Ed’s back, digging his nails in just lightly to encourage him to move. And oh, Ed does. He strokes their cocks together, and Stede is trying to be present in the moment but his body feels like a coiled spring and his head is on another planet somewhere and his cock is an untamed animal and he knows he’s mixing metaphors—knows he shouldn’t be worrying about metaphors at a time like this—and then Ed starts rocking his hips and there are no more metaphors, no more words in Stede’s mind at all.
Stede is torn between fully letting himself go to enjoy the moment and trying to prolong it. His climax is approaching and he’s trying so hard to stave it off, tensing his muscles and focusing on slow breaths, in and out. It’s not going to work. “Ed,” he whispers, barely audible above the sound of Ed’s breath and the rustle of the bedsheets and the friction of their bodies. “Ed, stop, I’m going to—”
Ed, who’s apparently been ascending to some higher plane, snaps back into his body and opens his eyes. “Oh, are you close? Hang on, I’ll catch up.” He places one hand on Stede’s shoulder and removes the other from their cocks. Stede immediately regrets having said anything; his chest feels like a wide crevasse has wrenched opened inside it, but he makes an effort toward embodying a zenlike calm as Ed sits back, takes just his own cock in hand and strokes it with purpose. A few moments later he leans forward, captures Stede’s cock again with his, and the jagged edges in Stede’s chest knit back together.
“OK, come with me now,” Ed purrs, stroking them both together and Stede can’t help but obey, mouth moving but producing no sound as he comes in spurts all over Ed’s fist and both their cocks, Ed following seconds later with a groan, his release mingling with Stede’s as he strokes them both through it. As he clings, barely, to awareness of his body and mind, Stede catches a fleeting thought that finally, their timing is perfect.
“Oh my God,” Stede finally says, his arms flopping onto the pillows and his head lolling to the side, half theatrical and half because his muscles have truly given out. Ed lets himself fall partially forward over Stede, his hair tickling Stede’s face as he gropes his clean hand around the bed for something to wipe up with. The Jeopardy! shirt is near Stede’s head, and Ed almost grabs it but Stede half-screams, “Not that one!” and Ed, to his credit, only hesitates for half a second before pulling a corner of Stede’s robe from where it’s pinned under their bodies, making quick work of the mess. Then he flops down on his stomach, left arm across Stede’s chest and left leg entwined with Stede’s. He lets out a little satisfied laugh and nuzzles his nose into Stede’s shoulder. They lie there for a minute, Ed’s breath blowing cool across Stede’s sweaty skin.
“Can I tell you something weird?” Ed mumbles into Stede’s neck.
“Anything.”
“Do you know when I first knew I wanted to, well, get to know you better, if you know what I mean?”
“Uh—no?”
“It was in that bathroom. You were in total disarray, pacing around, no pants on, that shirt barely covering your ass. Honestly you looked like a walking disaster, but those legs—”
“Ed! At a time like that?”
“What can I say, I could see they were fucking delicious and I was right.” Drawing energy from some hidden reserve, he springs up onto his knees and dips his head down to lightly bite into Stede’s thigh.
“Hey! Well, that’s very kind of you – I don’t think anyone’s ever said anything like that about my legs before.”
“I find that hard to believe. Especially given those pants you were wearing last night. You know what you’re doing.”
“Well, maybe they are my best feature...But I can’t say I get many compliments on my appearance.”
Ed sits up and lets his eyes travel over the length of Stede’s body. His voice is soft. “I think you’re quite dashing.”
“Oh. Thank you. Anyway, since we’re confessing our secrets here, I suppose I should tell you something in return.”
“Only fair.”
“Well, in that bathroom, I, you know—”
“No, what exactly were you doing in that bathroom? I was never quite clear on the details...”
“Oh God, Ed, don’t make me spell it out. You know perfectly well what—” Stede grabs a pillow and holds it over his face. The words come out muffled. “I was just trying to calm my nerves a bit and it was a terrible miscalculation but I—I was thinking about you.”
It’s silent for a moment. Stede cowers under his pillow. Fuck, that was inappropriate. But then Ed is lifting the pillow and looking down at him with the fondest expression.
“That’s so sweet. I might cry. I don’t think anyone’s ever masturbated to me in a public bathroom before—”
“Well, I highly doubt that. Have you seen yourself? But yeah, maybe not in a Jeopardy! bathroom, although just to be safe we should probably poll your previous opponents...”
Ed laughs with surprise and delight and Stede feels like he’s won some kind of grand prize. It’s too much, his chest might explode, so he reaches over and starts to tickle Ed, and soon Ed is tickling him back so fiercely, fully sitting on top of him and pinning him down into the mattress, that Stede has to shout “Mercy!” and then Ed is dropping kisses all over his face, his ears, his neck.
They decide to skip the farmer’s market. Stede doesn’t think Mary will be surprised. They order sandwiches and eat them in bed. Ed crumples their discarded paper wrapping into balls and tosses them at random into the corners of the room while Stede screams, only half-joking, about crumbs. He doesn’t leave the bed to pick them up, though.
Ed picks up his phone and grimaces. “Shit. 11 unread messages. They’re from Izzy. He thinks you murdered me.”
“Is he always this high-strung?”
“Honestly, yes.” Ed sighs as he texts. “I’m telling him I’m about to get in the car.”
Stede knows that Ed has a life outside this room, and that he has to return to it. Still, he tries one last-ditch effort at seduction, tracing his finger up Ed’s tattoo toward his shoulder. “I don’t suppose you could—maybe drive back in the morning?”
“Nah, man, I wish. I left a lot of work undone from Friday with the intention of doing it this weekend. Tax season’s starting and everything.”
“Of course, I understand.” Stede puts on his best pout and is rewarded with a kiss that lingers until Ed forcefully propels himself out of the bed and scoops up his discarded clothes from the night before.
“Ed, you can’t put those back on,” Stede says, wrinkling his nose.
“I can, and I will.”
“At least borrow some clean underwear! You know, in case you get in a car crash or something. Not that I think you’ll get in a car crash! I’m sure you’re a good driver, but the other—”
“OK, yeah, thanks. Don’t get up, I’ll find some.” Ed starts opening Stede’s dresser drawers in a leisurely way, inspecting their contents as though he’s doing Very Serious Research. He finds a pair of boxers with candy cane stripes and a reindeer head on the crotch. “These’ll do.”
“Wait, those were a white elephant gift from the office Christmas party. Look, one drawer to the left, you’ll find dozens of—”
“No, I want these. A bit of fun for the EMS first responders.”
He puts them on and waggles his ass suggestively. Stede buries his face in the pillow but keeps one eye open as Ed does a reverse striptease, pulling on his tight leather pants and slowly buttoning up his shirt. He picks up Stede’s black necktie, deliberately catching Stede’s eye as he ties it into a loose knot around his throat.
Stede walks Ed silently to the front door and opens it. “Thank you for coming,” he says, just as Ed says, “this was fun,” and they laugh at the ridiculous insufficiency of their pleasantries as Ed surrounds Stede in a hug. He kisses Stede’s cheek and pivots out the door. “I think I still have time to make it through the Grapevine before it gets dark.”
“Let me know that you got home safe!” Stede calls and Ed gives him a little wave as he opens his car door. Stede watches until he’s well out of the parking lot.
---
Six hours later, Stede is dozing in bed, a book abandoned on the table beside him. If he had anything on his schedule today, his productivity would be shot. His phone vibrates with a text notification.
I made it back alive
but
I have to apologize
His stomach sinks for a moment. Ed has regrets. Of course.
I still have your tie
I really should get that back to you
Next weekend?
Beside his phone on the bed is the blue t-shirt. He runs his fingers over the soft fabric, the screen-printed letters: “The question is the answer.”
He sends the reply:
Next weekend.