Chapter Text
A crackling fire surrounded by bits of paper drenched the cabin with a warm glow.
“Those stories certainly were on the outlandish side, wouldn’t you say, Edward?” Stede asked as he poured a generous glass of brandy for each of them. He brought Ed’s glass to him and they sat on the settee. Stede took a sip of brandy, feeling warm and glowy himself. A feeling he didn’t want to let go of anytime soon.
“Yeah... storytelling is a pirate tradition, but never heard of ‘em conjuring up tales about real people on the ship.”
“Of course the want to tell stories about the legendary pirate they are sailing with! They idolize you.”
“Fuck off, I don’t think making me as a vampire that cries as he wanks himself to sleep screams of deep respect.”
“But then you did come to meet a very handsome and polite werewolf.”
“Yeah, ‘spose that part was alright.” Ed conceded.
“Honestly, I’m happy they have taken so well to the stories I’ve read to them, so much that they want to expand upon them. Although I do think they are lacking the nuance of the originals. For instance, I chose the wooden boy story as a commentary on society’s unfair expectations of masculinity, but they took it in a somewhat different direction.
“Still pretty macsuline though.” observed Ed.
“Yes, well, there certainly was a lot of wood,” Stede joked, earning a full laugh from Ed. “Questionable uses for sticks aside, I was genuinely impressed with Lucius’s retelling of The Taming of The Shrew. Oh, that’s a comedic play by the great Wiliiam Shakespeare.”
“I know The Taming of the Shrew, mate. I’ve been to a play or two in my day.”
“Of course, I’m so sorry! I hope I didn’t – ”
“It’s fine,” Ed huffed, not actually offended, but couldn’t resist torturing Stede a little, “Guess you’re just like everyone else in thinking that Blackbeard is just a brutish, uncultured, 9-gun wielding buffoon.”
“My gods no! I just assumed that piracy didn’t leave much time for theatre and I’ve never heard of a drama ship – ”
“I’m fucking with you, Stede.” Ed reassured him, “Haven’t been in forever, but used to go to plays and concerts all the time as a kid. At least the ones that were easy to sneak into.”
“That’s wonderful! I want to hear about every single one of them! Just think, we could have been discussing Shakespeare this whole time! I have some personal theories about Titus Andronicus that I’d love to discuss at great length in fine detail…”
“Sure, man, but can it wait until we are at least somewhat sober?” Ed wondered if it was too late to convince Stede that he was indeed a buffon.
“Of course, anytime you like. But in reference to our own little bards, I do think they’ve been noticeably honing their storytelling skills.
“Gotta admit some of ‘em are pretty entertaining even without all the racy bits.” Ed
“Really? Those are the bits I find the most compelling.” Stede said earnestly.
“What now?” Did Stede think he was referring to a literal race of some sort?
“I’m simply saying that as much as the crew is improving their pacing and character arcs, I much prefer the portions of the stories that involve us being intimate, in a physical sense.”
“The fucking parts?” Ed knew he was intoxicated, but now wondered if he had accidently taken all the drugs.
“That’s another…yes… the fucking parts… the way they’ve depicted such a wide variety of carnal acts. And so many settings, an underwater castle, private boarding school, seedy brothels, somewhere called Bridgerton. They really are very imaginative!”
“That’s a word for it.” Horny with bad at boundaries was another way to describe them.
“Although obviously, many of those acts are regrettably impossible, or would require a great deal of preparation and training.”
“Obviously.” What is even happening right now?
“Stede Bonnet, all this time I thought I was on a gentleman’s ship, but now I find out The Revenge is captained by a drug-crazed sexual deviant!”
“Blackbeard calling me a deviant? Really? Do you really mean it?”
“If the opium fits, mate.”
“How delightful!” Stede clapped his hands together and just barely quelled the urge to jump up and down.
Ed laughed at his goofy sexy friend’s idea of a compliment. Ed was still high and at least a couple sheets to the wind – he should really call it a night, this was not the ideal time to be around Stede being so fucking adorable.
…or it’s the perfect time. Ed’s dick strained to propose a compelling counter argument.
“So, just what kind of debauchery does The Gentleman Pirate find most appealing?” You won this round, dick.
“I’m so glad you asked!” Stede replied in a tone that suggested he was about to pull out a chalkboard and diagram something, “Now, I’ve given this a fair amount of thought and I’ve found while I appreciate the ones where you made me do things, I’ve come to prefer the ones in which I made you do things - which was quite a revelation!”
“You found out you’re a top from your crew’s fan fiction?”
“Top? Is that what that’s called?” Stede paused thoughtfully, “I’d venture a guess that the participant on the other side of the equation is then referred to as a ‘bottom’?”
“You’ve cracked the code, mate.”
“What efficient terminology! I think I just might be one of those tops. Although best not to commit to any role without experiencing both. Are there people who switch between top and bottom when they have relations?”
“That actually is called a switch.” This wasn’t exactly how Ed had imagined teaching these terms to Stede.
“Well, look at that! So intuitive. But there is still so much for me to learn.”
“Did you like the..uh… tentacle stuff?” Ed had a complicated relationship with that trope.
“I don’t know if I’d say ‘liked’ as much as ‘intrigued by’. I believe an open mind is a healthy mind!”
“Well, that’s…” Ed trailed off, furrowing his brow. He was honestly unable to suss out if Stede was more interested in fucking or a vocabualry lesson. Ed had seduced and been seduced by far less explicit words, but they hadn’t come from someone whose general vibe was fussy schoolmarm.
“Oh, dear, I’m sorry, Ed, am I making you uncomfortable?” asked Stede.
“Nah, ‘course not,” Ed denied it, but caved a second later, “Maybe a little, but it’s not bad. Just didn’t expect you’d be so open about… um.. – “
“Fucking?” Stede said with a smile bordering on sly.
“Yeah.” Fuck he loved when Stede fucking swore.
“I thought pirates were accustomed to such talk. Bawdy tales and all that. It practically qualifies as sport on this ship.”
“I don't think that your specific group of characters is exactly representative of the average pirate crew.”
“They are a unique bunch!” Stede exclaimed proudly.
“That they are,” Ed agreed with an affectionate smile and a light pat on Stede’s leg.
The two sat together contently, sipping their brandy and watching the fire, as relaxed as either was capable. Neither could stop smiling and occasionally, but oh so casually, glancing over at each other.
Ed decided to put a pause on his ongoing analysis of Stede for now. To go with the flow and see where it took him. Whatever else was or wasn’t happening between was not as important as their friendship. He didn’t want to waste this time with Stede being distracted by what might be. Ed could happily spend the rest of the evening just quietly basking in firelight and good company. Maybe even the rest of his –
“So what do you think?” They had yet to create a silence Stede Bonnet couldn’t break.
“What do I think of what?” Ed was thinking a lot of things.
“Sex. Sex with me. The two of us, having sex I mean.”
This is where you take me, flow? I trusted you! Ed stared wide-eyed at Stede as he continued.
“I’ve actually been wanting to broach the topic for a while now, Edward, but I didn’t want to overstep, especially before we’ve officially defined our co-captaining arrangement.” Stede took a deep breath before continuing, “Perhaps it’s the opium talking, but given the theme of tonight’s discussion, now seems like an appropriate time to bring up something potentially inappropriate.”
Ed would have been less shocked if the opium had literally spoken. “You’re serious?”
“Why can’t people tell when I’m being serious?” Stede huffed.
“To be fair, you do say some pretty silly things seriously and some serious things in a silly way.” Ed observed.
“I suppose that’s true, on rare occasions.” Stede conceded, “But I am being serious right now. About the sex. And us… um… having it.”
“Picked up on that, luv. But are you saying you just want to go at it right here right now?” Ed had no idea why he wasn’t going at it right there right then. This was what he was hoping for - more than even. So, why didn’t he have Stede’s cock halfway down his throat?
“No time like the present, as they say,” Stede said, looking at Ed with his version of coy.
“I mean, shouldn’t there be some kind of build up first? A certain mood?” What the fuck are you saying, mouth? Blackbeard wasn’t some fucking squishy romantic fuck. At least he never had been before. At least that he knew of.
“Oh, I’m certainly happy to go through proper courting procedures, I simply didn’t think pirates were much for wooing.”
“Wooing?” Ed chuckled, “Yeah, most pirates don’t… sex is just something you do, or is done to you. Not a lot of wooing involved, but –” Ed saw Stede’s expression change instantly.
“Done to you…?” Stede’s voice was just above a whisper, his eyes filled with concern.
“It’s not… that’s just how… you know what, yeah. Come on, let’s have a go.” Ed was flustered, he really didn’t want to get into any of that shit.
Ed leapt up from his seat and began undoing one of the many, many buckles on his trousers. Sex was always an excellent way to avoid an uncomfortable subject.
Stede stood up slowly to meet Ed face to face. Stede gently coaxed Ed’s hand away from the buckles and into his, tracing little circles with his thumb over Ed’s palm, which seemed to calm him down, if Ed’s relaxed sigh meant anything.
“Since you mention it, I thought that was in keeping with pirating spirit, but personally would much prefer we take our time with each other.”
“I mean, yeah, sure, if that’s what you want.” Ed replied, relieved for a reason he still couldn’t identify.
“Absolutely.” Stede agreed with a sweet smile.
“Okay, then. For you.” Ed was impressed at how deftly Stede had deescalated the situation and given Ed the ability to plausible deny being the more sensitive of the two. Maybe he would be a good top…?
“Thank you. Let’s just sit back down and chat. I enjoy our time together no matter what we do.” Stede led him by the hand back to the settee. This time sitting much more closely.
“So is this a date now?” Ed asked, fidgeting.
“Afraid I can’t speak to that. I’ve never been on a proper date.”
“Can't say that I have either.”
“Well, let’s just see how the evening goes and assess later.” proposed Stede, immediately breaking into a comically exaggerated fake yawn in order to put his arm around Ed, “How odd I’m yawning this much when I’m not even tired?”
“Pretty smooth, Bonnet, very convincing.” Ed chuckled at the cornball move, but happy the cornball move allowed him to settle his head on Stede’s shoulder.
“Being smooth is not something I’m accused of often, if ever.” Stede giggled and placed a quick kiss on the top of Ed’s head. He paused to breathe in the scent of Ed’s hair, “Your hair smells simply decadent, is that jasmine?”
“I dunno, it’s some kind of flowery shit… maybe with some sandalwood undertones and a hint of lemon… or some fucking thing,” Ed explained,”Nicked a load of fancy oils from a merchant ship from India. Kept a crate for myself. It’s the only thing I’ve found that keeps my hair manageable in this humidity.”
“Oil? Well isn’t that interesting. Sounds much nicer than the scratchy powers and greasy pomades they use back home.”
“Give you some if you want. Even help you apply it.”
“Yes, please, that sounds divine! Never thought to use oil on my hair.”
“Where have you been using oil?” Ed asked with a little nudge to Stede’s side.
“That’s not important.” Stede replied quickly.
Ed snickered as he cozied himself against Stede, wishing there was some strong and intimidating pirate term for ‘snuggle’.
“You’re so weird,” Ed said in the same way a normal person would tell their normal partner that they have beautiful eyes.
“I know.” Stede squeezed Ed’s shoulder and boldly replied, “You love it.”
“Fucking right I do.” Ed answered without hesitation, “You’d think I wouldn’t be surprised by anything you do anymore. But was really under the impression you were more… demure.”
“I can be if you like.” Stede said playfully as he placed the back of his hand to his forehead and leaned back dramatically, “Oh my, not the dread pirate Blackbeard here to steal my virtue..”
“Oh, shut up!” Ed nudged Stede’s side a little harder this time. “That’s not what I meant.
“No?”
“Fine, whatever, I didn’t completely not mean that.” Ed’s hand had found its way to Stede’s knee, gave him a light squeeze before taking up residence there.
“To be fair, your instincts are correct as always. I was far more easily scandalized before bearing witness to so many, shall we say ‘antics’ onboard The Revenge.”
“You mean walking in on Lucius blowing half the crew?”
“Amongst other things, yes.” Stede confirmed, “But just because I’m not accustomed to using crude language, doesn’t mean I’m adverse to their meaning..”
“Ah, so you have thought about the dread pirate Blackbeard stealing your virtue?”
“God, yes.” Stede responded far more quickly and breathy than he intended. Even by firelight, Stede’s blush was obvious. Ed chuckled and moved his hand further up to Stede’s legs. “Well, I suppose that was rather telling.”
“Not twenty minutes ago you literally suggested we fuck and now you’re blushing over that?” Stede couldn’t even keep his weird consistent.
“Sometimes I’m even a mystery to myself.” Stede felt embarrassed until the feeling of Ed’s hand stroking his leg replaced every other feeling. It was moving up just the tiniest of distances with each motion, reassuring him that he had no reason to be self-conscious.
“So when you picture this virtue theft, how did it go…. exactly?” Ed purposely lowered his voice on the last word, eliciting a shiver in Stede that traveled through both their bodies.
“Truthfully, I must confess that before I began this wondrous journey, I was not immune to the appeal of Blackbeard’s mythology. I was taken in by that public image you are so weary of and in retrospect my dreams at the time were disappointingly commonplace. Wild adventures, being saved from a horde of marauders by a dashing legend…and perhaps some ravishing…”
“God, you are such a starfucker.” Ed teased.
“Am not! At least not yet…” Stede’s tone was no longer academic and Ed’s cock was no longer soft.
“And now how do you see me in these daydreams of yours? Powerful and handsome underworld boss? Sexy and demanding headmaster? Hunky blacksmith with a dark secret?”
“Those scenarios are not without their appeal, but themes like that lost their charm once we met. They just seemed very empty.”
“And now?” Ed asked, looking forward to whatever strange thing his crush was about to reveal.
“Lately, I’ve been positively enraptured by one fantasy in particular in which you are an accomplished and world-renowned harpsichord player and I am a devoted fan.”
“That’s - what now?”
“It’s still dreadfully ordinary on the surface, I am a fan who has traveled the world to watch you perform, but have been too shy to approach you.”
“So, I’m some fancy-type in this?”
“Yes, and while I would never pass up an opportunity to see you in formalwear, that’s not the appealing part. The poshness is just the natural result of your accomplishments,” Stede explained, “The idea first formed when I saw you playing harpsichord at that horrid party. You really are very good, and you seemed to enjoy yourself.”
“Yeah, like it alright. Never had much time to get good.”
“That’s it exactly. I went to school with boys who studied music, had tutors since they were very young and you play better than any of them. The fact you can play like that without formal instruction is extraordinary. And I suppose I find your natural talent very… hot.”
“Stede Bonnet, did I just hear you say ‘hot’?” The word sounded so foriengn coming from Stede that Ed barely registered it as a compliment, “Are you sure you didn’t mean, ‘A temperature of a rather high degree’ or ‘Something akin to a flame’ or ‘What light through yonder window breaks, it is Blackbeard scorching like the goddamn sun’?” That’s how Stede learned that Ed was also pretty good at voices, having delivered the lines in a pitch perfect Stede impression.
“Don’t mock me for trying something new!” Stede wanted to be offended but couldn’t deny the accuracy of Ed’s observation.
“I’m happy you are trying something new, Stede. I’m mocking you for being too adorable - big difference.”
“That’s not a very nice reaction to me sharing something personal with you!” Stede fake pouted, pretending that the word ‘adorable’ didn’t make him giddy.
“Oh come on, you know I like it,” Ed’s hand had reached Stede’s very firm thigh which he grasped very firmly, “So tell me more about this harpsichord story. And I swear I won’t stop you from using ‘hot’ as much as you want.”
“I‘m not sure you deserve to hear the rest,” Stede huffed, wanting more encouragement.
“I’ll be good,” Ed’s fingers inching ever closer to the obvious bulge in his breeches, “really good.”
Stede was convinced, “In that case, as I said I’ve traveled a great distance to see you. This time to Venice for a performance at the famed Teatro San Cassiano.”
“I seen that place,” Ed offered, “just from the outside.”
“You’ve been to Venice? Were you there on holiday?”
“Something like that.”
This was not the time for skull talk.
“How exciting! I’ve always dreamed of going there. The history, the art, the architecture.”
“Took in more taverns than art when I was there, but that other stuff sounds interesting. Maybe w-we could go someday? Together?”
“Truly? That would be amazing.” Stede replied, awestruck by the suggestion. The thought of Ed envisioning them in the future traveling together nearly brought a tear to his eye, and absolutely brought blood rushing to his cock.
“Then you come out on stage to a cheering crowd. You’re in an absolutely stunning ensemble, sometimes I picture you in purple silk, sometimes in black velvet - it varies. I’ve of course procured a seat in the front row, close enough to see your elegant fingers dance gracefully over the keys.”
“These fingers?” Ed asked, running his fingertips lightly over Stede’s inner thigh.
Stede caught his breath, “Yes, yes, those. I always love watching your hands when you work. They are very… dexterous.”
“Might know their way around some things.” Ed walked his index and middle finger over Stede’s stomach and up his chest. He traced around Stede’s nipple until he felt it hardened and left it with a gentle pinch.”
“Oh!” Stede jolted “Oh my!” he looked at Ed in wonderment, having just discovered a new facet to add to his fantasy.
Ed smiled wickedly, as his hand returned to Stede’s leg. He definitely wanted to explore that reaction more thoroughly.
“Ahem… as I was saying, I am too shy to approach you so I’ve sent flowers and a heartfelt note asking you to meet me at a local eatery. When you arrive you are escorted to a private table I’ve arranged, overlooking the city. It’s a little awkward at first, but after a few minutes of talking it feels like we’ve known each other forever. Afterwards, a fabulous meal and ample amount of wine, we walk tipsy through the city streets. You suggest we sneak back into the concert hall for fun. Inside we light some candles and I sit on the floor of the stage watching as you play a private show just for me. You even share an original piece you are nervous about playing in public. I assure you it is exquisite.”
“Of course it’s exquisite if I wrote it,” interjected Ed, having a hard time believing Stede really thought about him like that.
“you know, fantasy you is far more humble,” Stede teased before continuing,“You finish playing and turn around on the bench. I move up to my knees, kneeling between your legs. You lean down, place your hand to my chin and kiss me.”
“Yeah?” Ed’s hand stroked Stede’s thigh, “and how is it?”
“Extraordinary,” Stede sighed, getting caught up in his own story, “It’s different than anything I’ve experienced. It strikes me that I never really understood any of the romantic literature I’ve read. Not fully. When our lips part, I pull you right back in so I can return the kiss but more deeply.”
“In your…Do you ever… you know, maybe kiss my neck at all?” asked Ed tentatively.
“Funny you should mention it because it just so happens.,.” Stede brushed Ed’s hair aside to uncover his neck and moved his mouth as closely to Ed’s exposed skin as possible without actually making contact.
Feeling the heat of Stede’s breath against him makes Ed legit tremble. “Here?” asked Stede, focused just above Ed’s collarbone.
“Little higher.”
“How about here?”
“Bit to the right.” Ed directed, voice growing shaky.
“Is this – ?”
“Little lower.”
“Here?”
“Yeah, fuck yeah… right there,” Ed’s eyes closed as he felt himself begin to melt. He wanted Stede to latch on and mark him.
Stede did not kiss him, instead just whispered “Noted,” as his lips ghosted over the spot.
“Fuck, Stede, that was something akin to a flame.”
“Why thank you, Edward. That was my aim. Now, where was I?”
“I believe you were about to suck my cock.”
“Ah, yes. How could I lose track of that?” Stede replied with an angelic smile that had no business being involved in this kind of conversation.
“I unlace your breeches and wrap my hand around your length. I lick the tip and slowly take you into my mouth – “
“You’ve thought about my cock in your mouth?” Ed asked, now feverishly warm.
“I’ve thought about your cock a lot of places.” Stede said matter of factly.
“Fuck.” Ed‘s breath heavy, his hand now clamped onto Stede’s thigh.
“I take it, you approve?” Stede said, finding himself hoping Ed would leave bruises.
“Couldn’t approve fucking more. What happens next?” Ed asked.
“Using my mouth, I bring you closer to the precipice. We stop before you peak so that I can bend you over the harpsichord. I pull your breeches further down, exposing your gorgeous ass.”
“You don’t know it’s gorgeous.”
“I’m fairly certain it is.”
“Nope, it’s all messed up. Bloody nightmare down there, man.” Blakcbeard joked, needing to pause the story to prevent him from coming right there.
“I’ll take my chances.” Stede laughed, “As I was saying… I have my hands on your no doubt breathtaking derriere. I run my finger between your cheeks, followed by my tongue – “
“Fuckin’ balls, Stede, no gentleman would do that!”
“Ah, but I never said that I was a gentleman in this tale. I’m more of a rogue, unencumbered by society’s conventions, one who laughs in the face of conformity and freely licks asses whenever the mood strikes.”
“I think your crew is a bad influence on you.” suggested Ed, shaking his head and fully cracking up.
“I prefer to think that they’ve inspired an awakening of sorts. So many things that never would have occurred to me, now I want to do all of them. With you.”
“When you say ‘all’ you are not including anything from Buttons, right?”
“Oh, heavens no! I can assure you I have no interest in literally eating your ass,” Stede burrowed his head into Ed’s hair, his lips finding Ed’s ear “...I am however very interested in licking and teasing your tight little hole until you’re writhing in ecstasy beneath me.”
“Fuuuuuck.” Ed groaned and shifted to accommodate his now even more prominent erection.
“Well then, that was a lot of sharing on my part. Only seems fair that I get to hear something from the mind of the notorious Mr. Teach.” Stede asked, stroking Ed’s hair.
It was quiet for the better part of a minute before Ed responded, “Fine. But you have to promise not to laugh,”
“I would never!”
“Seriously, Stede, one fucking giggle and I’ll have no choice but to stab you in your hot face.” Ed laid out his very reasonable terms.
“I promise, Edward.”