Chapter Text
Ottawa Cens 🏒
Bood:
Just learned something interesting about our captain
Hayes:
👀
Dykstra:
What did he do now???
LaPointe:
is this about the haunted doll thing
Hayes:
??? The what???
Holmberg:
oh yeah i heard about that
cap apparently bought a $6000 haunted doll off craigslist
Young:
That’s sick
Do u think i can i touch it
(Hayes and Dykstra disliked “Do u think i can i touch it”)
Hayes:
No that shit will possess you
LaPointe:
idk maybe it would help him get less penalties this season
Young:
Man fuck you
Bood:
What fucking haunted doll???
Nevermind no
I saw Marlow after the game and he asked if Roz was “still seeing his Montreal girl”
(4 people questioned “I saw Marlow after the game and he…”)
Hayes:
WHAT?
Chouinard:
His WHO?
Rozy has a girlfriend??
Bood:
Apparently
Boyle:
And she lives in Montreal?
Holmberg:
wait so is that WHY u signed with ottawa
Young:
No fucking way
Haas:
that’s kind of sweet
Rozanov:
hello? what are you all talking about
Hayes:
Your girlfriend in Montreal
Dude why didn’t you tell us??
Rozanov:
ah
I read up
marley is a gossip and so are all of you
Holmberg:
Ok but like.. is it true?
Chouinard:
There’s no way
Someone really locked him down?
Bood:
Nah I knew it would happen one day but
Apparently this has been going on for years
Young:
YEARS??
(6 people emphasized “YEARS??”)
Dykstra:
Roz dude you gotta say something
Rozanov:
Is more fun to watch you all lose your shit
but yes fine
I have a girlfriend
her name is jane
she lives in montreal
Hayes:
Damn so Bood wasn’t lying
Bood:
Why the hell would I lie about this?
Haas:
is that really why you signed with ottawa??
to be closer to her?
Rozanov:
sort of yes
LaPointe:
Oh shit so its like
Serious
Dykstra:
So you were lying when you told me you moved here because Ottawa is a fun city :/
Hayes:
You believed that????
Boyle:
Dude.
Dykstra:
He seemed serious!
Rozanov:
ottawa is boring city
but so is my jane
so it’s okay
Boyle:
Can’t even be pissed about that dig because he’s right
Chouinard:
So like you’ve really been together for that long?
LaPointe:
But you were with so many women
Rozanov:
you read all the gossip magazines about me?
I am touched
LaPointe:
…Shut up
Everyone says that!
Rozanov:
you fuckers are all too nosy
maybe we should focus on our game in chicago tomorrow
Hayes:
So that’s where you disappear to whenever we’re in Montreal
Rozanov:
yes
Young:
Why didn’t you just sign to Montreal then
Bood:
I know you didn’t just ask that
Rozanov:
you want me gone that badly young
wow
I am wounded
Young:
I didn’t mean it like that!!!!!
Holmberg:
ok first of all
montreal definitely couldn’t afford him
second
could u imagine him and hollander on the same team lmfao
Dykstra:
They would kill each other
Hayes:
I’d pay to see that
(Rozanov questioned “I’d pay to see that”)
Rozanov:
excuse me
I do not want to play for fucking montreal
that was never an option
but hollander is my friend now
Chouinard:
Oh yeah Shane Hollander your new best friend
Rozanov:
yes
Haas:
i like shane hollander
he’s one of my favorite players
Hayes:
Well yeah
Which makes him more terrifying when he’s skating toward you with the fucking puck
Dykstra:
He’s insane
We need all the luck when we play Montreal
LaPointe:
man i had his highlights on repeat when i was a teenager
Haas:
me too
Holmberg:
yeah i think we all did
Rozanov:
okay we get it
you are all in love with shane hollander
time to talk about something else
Dykstra:
Don’t be jealous cap
Rozanov:
why the fuck would I be jealous
Chouinard:
You’re still better
Hayes:
Even if you’re stuck with us!
LaPointe:
yeah young promises that he’ll be less shitty on the power play next time
Young:
I’m literally going to kill you
Rozanov:
ah yes
I know I am better
no need to stroke my ego
Bood:
Roz is right
Let’s change the subject
Rozanov:
thank you
Bood:
So how long exactly have you and this Jane been together?
Rozanov:
…
Hayes:
Just answer a few questions and we’ll back off
We swear
Rozanov:
fine
casual for many years
official for three
happy?
Dykstra:
Wow
Does she come down for the games?
Rozanov:
no
she is very busy
has a very important job
Chouinard:
What about when we play Montreal in a few weeks?
She could meet our wives/girlfriends and sit with them during the game
(3 people emphasized “She could meet our wives/girlfriends and sit with…”)
Rozanov:
is a very kind offer
but she cannot come
Hayes:
Really? That sucks man
Rozanov:
yes
my jane does not like hockey
so she does not go to games
Bood:
Wait
Like ever?
Young:
She doesn’t like hockey???????
LaPointe:
but she’s dating you?
Rozanov:
yes she is dating the greatest hockey player ever and does not realize
is very sad
she knows nothing about the game but I still love her
Boyle:
Damn
That’s kind of crazy
Holmberg:
You don’t teach her about it?
Rozanov:
no she is serious about her work
she does not have time to have a man teaching her about dumb sports
Hayes:
No yeah that’s fair
Boyle:
Ok I can get that
Bood:
Totally understandable
Rozanov:
yes
now no more questions about my jane
focus on tomorrow
Young:
🫡
LaPointe:
got it cap
Dillon:
Woah what the hell did I miss
Rozanov:
besides all of my passes last night?
(8 people laughed at “besides all of my passes last night?”)
✦ ─── ⋆⋅ 🏒 ⋅⋆ ─── ✦
Private Message
Bood:
Hey man I know we were all giving you a hard time about Jane
But we are happy for you
Just wanted you to know
Rozanov:
yes I know
but thank you
we’ve been private for a long time so I am not used to talking about her
Bood:
That makes sense
But hey I just wanted to offer
Well I guess technically Cassie is offering
If Jane wants to join the WAGs group chat, Cassie will add her anytime
She says no pressure
Rozanov:
jane can be very shy
she’s very private
I don’t know
Bood:
Like I said no pressure
Offer is there whenever
Cassie just wants her to feel comfortable even if she’s not really into hockey
Rozanov:
thank you bood
I will think about it
Bood:
👍🏾
✦ ─── ⋆⋅ 🏒 ⋅⋆ ─── ✦
Private Message
Ilya:
hello моя любовь (my love) 🥰🥰🥰
Shane:
What did you do?
Ilya:
why would you assume I did something
I am just saying hello to my wonderful boyfriend
my very understanding and sexy boyfriend
Shane:
Ilya.
Ilya:
ok do not be mad
the team found out about jane
Shane:
What? How?
What did you say?
Ilya:
was not my fault(((
marlow has a big mouth and mentioned the girl from montreal he knew I used to see to my teammate
Shane:
Okay…
So what did you tell them?
Ilya:
they asked about you and I said “yes that is my jane. we are madly in love so I moved to ottawa to be close to her so she would be able to see her sexy hockey player boyfriend more often”
Shane:
Jesus.
Well I guess it could be worse.
It’s close enough to the truth without it completely ruining our plan.
Ilya:
yes you did miss my dick so much that I had to move to a whole new country
that part was not a lie
Shane:
You’re such an asshole.
I hate you.
Ilya:
no you do not <3
Shane:
Sure.
At least this way, it will lower any suspicion about what you’re up to when you’re here.
Ilya:
see? It was a very good idea
they know that I am taken so they can stop trying to ask about all the women I am sleeping with
Shane:
Allegedly sleeping with, you mean.
Ilya:
yes кролик (bunny) of course
do not be jealous
there is only one woman who has my heart now
Shane:
Don’t.
And I’m not jealous!!
Ilya:
my sexy jane 😍😍😍
Shane:
You’re awful.
Ilya:
you are not actually mad about this, are you?
I could not think of what else to say
they did seem very happy for us
Shane:
No. I’m not mad.
It’s not like they’ll know it’s me.
But it also doesn’t hurt that they know you’re taken. 🙂
Ilya:
good
fuck you are so sexy when you are possessive
do not worry моя любовь (my love) i do not think any of them are gay
well there might be one rookie
but he is a baby and it is just a crush
Shane:
Wait, which one?
Ilya:
is fine
I am not sure if it is just a hockey crush or a real crush
but wow you are so easy to work up
Shane:
Oh fuck off.
I was just curious.
Ilya:
yes my very curious shane
Shane:
Fuck you.
Whatever.
What else did you tell them?
About me?
Ilya:
not much i do not think
that you have a very boring but busy job
and that I love you very much
Shane:
Oh.
I love you, too.
Ilya:
yes I know <3
what are you thinking about all of this
I know you have more to say
Shane:
Okay, a couple of things:
First, I think if this makes you feel more comfortable and honest around your team, then it wasn’t a bad idea to tell them. I’m glad they’re happy for you.
Second, I am nervous about the thought of people prying more into our relationship and the possibility of them connecting the dots.
Third, I hate how we have to cover our tracks like this for something as simple as admitting to being in a relationship with another person. But I don’t see what other option we have.
I’m sorry, that was a lot.
Ilya:
I am glad that they know, even if it’s not the whole truth
and I’m sorry you can’t tell your team the same thing
Shane:
What, you don’t think telling them I’m not gay after all and am dating a woman named Lily would work?
Ilya:
no probably not
Shane:
Yeah.
It still sucks, though.
Ilya:
you could always tell them you have a boyfriend
Shane:
It’s been awkward enough with them knowing I’m gay.
I think it would be even weirder if I mentioned a boyfriend.
I don’t know.
Ilya:
I’m sorry солнышко (sunshine) I wish we had a better way to solve this
but for the other things
I will not tell them much about us
nothing that could give us away
I promise
Shane:
I know, I trust you.
I wish this didn’t have to be so complicated.
Ilya:
I wish it wasn’t either
Shane:
I know it’s not the same because they think I’m a woman, but I’m glad the Centaurs have been good to you about this.
Ilya:
yes me too
I think they would have felt the same though
If I had told them it was a boyfriend
Shane:
You really think so?
Ilya:
I don’t know for sure
but I think yes
they have been lot different than most teams
Shane:
That’s good to know.
You deserve to have that kind of support.
Ilya:
yes
so do you
Shane:
Yeah.
They’ll come around one day.
Probably.
Ilya:
maybe
speaking of support
there is also one other thing
that I was asked when they found out about jane
Shane:
Okay, what was it?
Ilya:
they want to see if you would like to be in the centaurs wag group chat
Shane:
Well that’s obviously not happening.
Ilya:
I said we will think about it
Shane:
Huh? What is there to think about?
No.
Ilya:
why not?((
Shane:
Let’s start with the obvious.
I’m not actually a woman named Jane?
Ilya:
you were my lovely jane for many years
I think it would be fine
Shane:
Not to other people!
Ilya, there’s no way they would believe me.
Ilya:
it could help with that thing you always say
controlling the narrative
and wags are very nice I promise
Shane:
That’s true.
But I wouldn’t even know what to say!
It would be too weird.
Ilya:
shane
it would not be that weird
I think you would get along with them
Shane:
Okay, but what if they’re talking about the Centaurs’ game strategy or something?
That would be an unfair advantage.
Ilya:
i do not think that is what the wags talk about
Shane:
What do I even say?
Ilya:
anything shane
just be yourself
except for saying “hello I am shane hollander the second best player in the nhl”
Shane:
🖕🏼
Ilya:
😚
Shane:
This is such a dumb idea.
Fine.
But if it gets too awkward, I’m removing myself from the conversation.
Ilya:
they will love you jane
Shane:
We’ll see.
Your “Jane” is leaving for practice in ten minutes, by the way.
Ilya:
really?
is more than enough time 😏
Shane:
That is not what I meant.
Ilya:
I think it is
what are you wearing right now
Shane:
I just got out of the shower when you texted me.
So.
Nothing.
Ilya:
shane answer my facetime
shane
your phone is broken
pick up
why are you not answering
Shane:
Sorry, I was getting dressed.
Gotta get to practice!
Ilya:
what
no
take them back off
there is still time
shane
shane?????????
✦ ─── ⋆⋅ 🏒 ⋅⋆ ─── ✦
❤️ Ottawa WAGs 🖤
Cassie:
Good morning ladies! I have news!!
Lisa:
👀 Oh??????
Caitlin:
What’s going on?
Cassie:
Zane let me know we have a new WAG! And she’s up for joining the chat :)
You’ll NEVER guess who she’s dating.
Selena:
is it one of the rookies? did alex finally get a girlfriend?
Marie:
no way, noah would have told me if young was dating anyone
Caitlin:
Tanner Dillon?
Rebecca:
maybe a girlfriend would improve his shot accuracy
Lisa:
Girl…
I don’t think there’s anything helping that
Marie:
LMFAO
Selena:
i think we’re doing pretty good so far this season guys :(
(3 people laughed at “I think we’re doing pretty good so far…”)
Cassie:
Well, it’s not the worst season we’ve had…
Marie:
it’s also literally only october
Selena:
shit, yeah
trying to be optimistic here you guys
Cassie:
Okay, we’re losing the plot. I’m just going to tell you since you all suck at guessing.
Lisa:
I didn’t even get a chance!
Cassie:
It’s Rozanov’s girlfriend.
Lisa:
WHAT
Selena:
sorry??????? WHO???????
Rebecca:
did u say rozanov… like ilya rozanov???? captain ilya rozanov???
Marie:
I KNOW YOU’RE FUCKING LYING
Lisa:
I’m going to kill Wyatt
Cassie:
Zane JUST told me who it was. 😭😭
Caitlin:
Nick didn’t tell me shit either wtf
Selena:
our men are fucking useless ffs
Marie:
genuinely
Rebecca:
he really has a girlfriend? :/ there go my chances
Caitlin:
Girl, you’re married with kids
Rebecca:
hallpass 💔
Selena:
no becs, say that
Rebecca:
THANK YOU
Lisa:
Cass are you sure he’s not fucking with the guys?
Cassie:
No, Zane heard it from Cliff Marlow on the Bears after their game in Boston and Roz confirmed it. Apparently they’ve been together for a couple of years? But his girlfriend is really private.
Selena:
aweeeeee
Marie:
what’s her name???
Cassie:
Jane :)
She lives in Montreal.
Lisa:
Pause
Is that why he came to Ottawa??
Cassie:
Yep.
Lisa:
Holy fuck
My husband is seriously dead to me
Cassie:
Tbf they all just found out too.
Caitlin:
Okay, but that’s really sweet. Who thought he’d ever settle down, wow
Rebecca:
i gotta know what ilya rozanov’s girlfriend is like
like we GOT to meet the woman who finally locked him down
Marie:
girl u have to reel in ur crush for him before we add her
Rebecca:
ugh fine
Cassie:
We can’t overwhelm her! She’s also really busy with her job so idk how active she will be.
Lisa:
#Felt
Cassie:
Oh, and she knows nothing about hockey. Doesn’t like it at all apparently.
Marie:
HUHHHHH
Selena:
didn’t you say she was from montreal?
Rebecca:
well at least she’s not a voyageurs fan
unless it’s of you-know-who 😏
Marie:
don’t start
Rebecca:
😔
Caitlin:
Honestly that’s super fair of her. Most of the men are awful anyway.
Lisa:
Yeah
Marie:
yep
Cassie:
Don’t blame her atttt alllll.
But we can teach her some stuff if she’s interested!
Marie:
dating ilya rozanov and not giving a single fuck about hockey is incredible
i like this girl already
Lisa:
Okay Cass, add her in
(Cassie added Jane to ❤️ Ottawa WAGs 🖤)
Cassie:
Hi Jane! Welcome to our group. :) I’ll let everyone introduce themselves, but no pressure to respond. I’m Cassie Boodram (Zane’s wife) and we’re glad to have you join us!
Lisa:
Lisa Hayes, married to Wyatt Hayes. Hi Jane 😊
Marie:
hiii I’m marie and I’m dating noah holmberg <3
Caitlin:
Hi Jane! Caitlin Dykstra, married to Evan Dykstra!
Selena:
selena chouinard :) nick is very luckily married to me
(4 people emphasized “selena chouinard :) nick is very luckily married…”)
Rebecca:
rebecca boyle! my husband is isaac boyle lol
Cassie:
So that’s most of us! We’re glad to have you!
Selena:
welcome to the centaurs’ better halves 😌
Jane:
Hello.
I’m Jane.
But you all already knew that.
It’s nice to meet you all. 🙂
Cassie:
We would have added you sooner if we knew about you, Jane!
Rebecca:
honestly we were surprised you even existed
not in a bad way!!!!
we just didn’t know ilya was dating anyone
or that it was so serious lol
Selena:
tell us about yourself jane!!!
Jane:
Oh, haha yeah.
Ilya and I have kept our relationship pretty private. It’s been like that for a long time.
I don’t know if there’s anything interesting about me to tell you guys.
*Girls, haha. 😅
Marie:
omg jane ur so cute
how did u end up with rozanov
Jane:
Oh um.
It’s a long story, really.
We sort of met through work?
✦ ─── ⋆⋅ 🏒 ⋅⋆ ─── ✦
Private Message
Shane:
This is a disaster.
Ilya:
what is happening
Shane:
I don’t know what to say!
I just told them we met through work.
Fuck.
Ilya:
ok…
well tell them you are were my sexy housecleaner and you seduced me
Shane:
I already told you I’m not buying that outfit.
Ilya:
liar
I saw it in your amazon cart the other week
Shane:
Oh my god.
You went snooping through my phone?
Ilya:
да (yes)
was renewing your protein powder subscription because you always forget
and guess what was in the cart 😈
Shane:
Thank you. ❤️
And I was getting that as a joke.
Ilya:
ok
sure
when you wear it, will it be a joke too?
Shane:
….Yeah.
Whatever.
I don’t know what to say now!
Ilya:
hmm
just say you are like a real estate agent or something
you are always going on and on about the housing market
Shane:
That’s actually not a bad idea.
Ilya:
yes I am full of good ideas
I have many more where that came from
Shane:
Like what?
Ilya:
I think you will like this one
are you alone
Shane:
Yeah.
Just got back to my hotel room.
I think the rest of the guys are still out.
Ilya:
ah so nobody will overhear us
perfect
remind me how many more points I have than you right now
Shane:
What? Fuck off.
That’s going to change after my game tonight.
Ilya:
did you forget I have a game too?
so how many points
Shane:
…Three.
What does this have to do with your idea?
Ilya:
be patient
you will see
Shane:
Ilya, c’mon.
Ilya:
there is plenty of time until you need to be ready for the game, no?
Shane:
Yeah…
Ilya:
then there is no need to rush
I will enjoy taking my time with you
get you worked up again and again
Shane:
Fuck
But it’s been days since we got to do this
Ilya:
yes and?
Shane:
So I’m already worked up!
Ilya:
it was your choice to run off the other day before we could do this
Shane:
I had practice
Ilya:
no
you know what you were doing
Shane:
Ilya
Ilya:
shane
Shane:
How many times?
Ilya:
hmm?
Shane:
Before I can come
That’s what you’re going to do right
Ilya:
smart boy
yes
I am thinking four
Shane:
Four?????
I can’t do that many
You know that
Ilya:
first three for the more points I have
plus one more for you abandoning me the other day
I think it is only fair
I work you up four times and then maybe you come
Shane:
Maybe?????
Ilya:
yes okay then you will come
happy?
Shane:
Three
Ilya:
four or I will leave you like this and take care of this on my own
[Image Attached]
Shane:
Fine
Ilya:
clothes off and call me in five minutes
Shane:
Fuck
You’re going to kill me
Ilya:
😈
✦ ─── ⋆⋅ 🏒 ⋅⋆ ─── ✦
❤️ Ottawa WAGs 🖤
Lisa: Really? What do you do??
Selena:
awe jane where did you go?
Marie:
I hope I didn’t scare her off lol
Cassie:
She’s probably just busy with work!
Who’s still down for tonight?
Lisa:
Yesss I will be off!
Rebecca:
me too!
Marie:
i’m bringing wine!
sorry cass
Cassie:
God, I can’t wait to drink again
@Jane I know it’s last minute and you’re in Montreal, but you’re welcome to join us!
Open invitation :)
Selena:
don’t worry cass I am bringing my famous mocktails :P
Cassie:
I literally love you.
Jane:
Oh, hi. Sorry.
I had a work call.
Rebecca:
jane!!!
Caitlin:
Hey, Jane!
Jane:
To answer your question, I work in real estate.
Ilya and I met when I was at a work conference, haha.
Lisa:
Wow, that’s so cool!
And this was back when he played in Boston, right?
Jane:
Right, yeah.
We met while I was in the area.
I ran into him smoking behind a building and sort of told him off for it.
Marie:
aweeeeeeee
Lisa:
Good! I try to tell the guys who smoke to quit all the time 😭
Rebecca:
at least it’s just weed now lol
Caitlin:
Thank god Evan finally quit smoking for good when we had Suzie
Lisa:
🙌🏼
Cassie:
Did you help Ilya find a place to live? Is that how you two connected?
Jane:
Haha, not exactly.
Well, I helped him find his place when he moved to Ottawa, but before that we would just meet up and… get together when we could.
Rebecca:
omg girl
he was with other women too though right
like a lot????
he was a big player for years wasn’t he
Marie:
omg becca shut up
i’m sure jane doesn’t want to think about all the women her bf was with
Rebecca:
oh sorry jane!!!
I have no filter
my bad :(
Jane:
No, it’s fine.
It was uh, casual. For a long time.
We’d get together when we saw each other.
Cassie:
But now it’s serious?
Jane:
Yes.
We’ve been dating exclusively for a few years.
It took a long time to get there, but yeah.
Marie:
yesssssss
you locked down THE ilya rozanov
your power!!
Lisa:
That’s really sweet.
Caitlin:
It sounds like you two went through a lot
I’m glad things are good! ❤️
Jane:
Thank you.
It was hard, but it’s been worth it.
Cassie:
Being with a hockey player isn’t easy.
It’s a lot of lonely nights unfortunately.
But we’re all in the same boat with you, Jane!
Selena:
yeah! if anyone gets what you’re going through, it’s us!!
Lisa:
We’re here if you ever need to vent about it!
We do a lot of that here actually.
Jane:
That’s good to know.
Yeah, the distance can suck.
Rebecca:
would you ever move to ottawa?
sorry is that too invasive lol
Jane:
Uh, I don’t really know.
My career is here in Montreal. So probably not?
Caitlin:
Hey, that’s fair! Nothing wrong with putting yourself or your career first
Jane:
It’s just complicated.
Ilya came to Ottawa to be closer to me, but it still doesn’t feel close enough sometimes.
We just don’t really have a better solution.
Not right now, at least.
Marie:
so him signing to montreal was out of the question lol?
Rebecca:
omg don’t you know that’s a sensitive topic for me
Marie:
this is NOT about you rn 😭
Selena:
you and your love/hate relationship with montreal is so fascinating
Rebecca:
i contain multitudes thank you very much
Jane:
Haha, yeah no. That was out of the question.
Oh, and thank you for the invitation earlier but I’m usually pretty busy in the evenings so I don’t think I would be able to make it to your parties. I’m sorry.
Cassie:
No worries! If you ever change your mind, the offer is always there.
Lisa:
Yeah, it’s a long drive anyway.
I work a lot too, so I can’t always make it either.
Selena:
we won’t force you to watch hockey with us jane <3
it is funny that ilya rozanov probably found the one person in montreal who doesn’t give a fuck about it tho
Jane:
Haha, what?
Cassie:
I promise we talk about much more than hockey here and when we hang out!
So if you ever are free, I promise we won’t bore you to death with a sport you don't know or care about.
Jane:
Sorry, hold on.
Ilya said what?
Caitlin:
Don’t worry, Jane. We don’t judge at all!
But I guess Ilya told the guys you aren’t really interested in it.
Marie:
i was the newest here before you and i didn’t know much at all before i started dating noah either
these girls taught me most of what i know
honestly it’s super impressive you dated ilya this long and didn’t manage learn about hockey from him
I figured he’d talk about it allllll the time
Caitlin:
Well you learn to tune them out after a while
…Don’t tell Evan I said that
Cassie:
Anyway, no judgement here Jane. Please don’t feel embarrassed :(
Jane:
Right.
Yeah. I guess I know nothing about hockey.
It’s just… not my thing.
✦ ─── ⋆⋅ 🏒 ⋅⋆ ─── ✦
Private Message
Shane:
I’m going to kill you.
Ilya:
😰what did I do now????
Shane:
[Screenshots Attached]
Why would you tell them that???
Ilya, I cannot pretend I don’t know anything about hockey.
If you somehow forgot, I play this sport too. PROFESSIONALLY.
Ilya:
моя любовь (my love)
please listen
Shane:
I have been on the ice since I was three years old.
I study game strategy every single night.
I know more about hockey stats than most of the guys in the league.
Ilya:
shane
Shane:
I cannot pretend I don’t know a thing about it.
Are you insane?
What the hell were you thinking?
I know they don’t know about ME but you could have at least told them I am a FAN?
Ilya:
I am sorry дорогой (sweetheart)!!!!
i panicked 😩😩😩
Shane:
Ilya, I don’t know what to say to them.
Ilya:
ok listen i will fix this
maybe you let them teach you
Shane:
But I already know everything.
Ilya:
yes obviously
but you pretend to learn
you are a quick learner anyway ;)
jane will be a hockey expert in no time
Shane:
God, fine.
I’ll just let them explain and what?
Pretend I am learning for the first time?
Ilya:
yes
just pretend you are like pike
Shane:
Ilya, don’t start.
Ilya:
but know even less than him which I did not think was possible
Shane:
Alright, asshole.
I’ll figure out the logistics later of what Jane knows vs doesn’t.
I just got to the rink anyway.
Good luck with your game tonight. ❤️
Ilya:
yes you too
maybe you can catch up to me in points
Shane:
Oh, I will.
Love you.
Ilya:
я тебя люблю (i love you) ❤️
✦ ─── ⋆⋅ 🏒 ⋅⋆ ─── ✦
❤️ Ottawa WAGs 🖤
Selena:
if you’re ever interested in learning a thing or two, we got you jane!!
(4 people emphasized “if you’re ever interested in learning a thing…)
Rebecca:
probably better than learning it from a man anyway
Jane:
I have a work event I’m about to go to but thank you all.
I guess I wouldn’t mind learning a couple of things.
If you girls don’t mind teaching me. 😄
Cassie:
Yes for sure!!
Caitlin:
We don’t mind at all.
Lisa:
We are basically experts at this point
Marie:
i know enough to follow the games fairly well but i’m sure i can help too!!
Selena:
we’re going to teach you EVERYTHING you need to know jane
we will be your personal hockey guides
✦ ─── ⋆⋅ 🏒 ⋅⋆ ─── ✦
Rebecca:
thank god for your husband lisa
Cassie:
Honestly the only reason we didn’t lose as badly tonight
Marie:
jane ur man did well too
can’t say much for mine tho :/
Cassie:
God I fucking hate Toronto.
For many reasons.
But they play so fucking dirty.
Lisa:
Dude you and me both
I’m just glad it’s over
Cassie:
Yeah.
Anyways.
@Jane I hope your work event went well!
You didn’t miss much here tonight.
Lisa:
Yeah, thank god tonight wasn’t your introduction to this madness lmao
Rebecca: sometimes i wish i knew less about this sport
m*ntreal won tonight btw
Marie:
BOOOOOOOOOOO 👎👎👎
Rebecca:
i have Thoughts but i also am trying to wrangle two terrors into bed rn
brb
Selena:
can’t wait to hear this
Jane:
Good evening! 🙂
Thank you for asking, Cassie. Tonight went great actually.
Cassie:
Yay!!
Ours not so much :/
Centaurs lost (if you didn’t already see)
Jane:
Oh.
Yeah, I heard?
That’s… not surprising though, right?
Marie:
damn
Lisa:
Well
Selena:
she’s right :(
Cassie:
Girl, and here we thought you knew nothing!
Jane:
Whoops.
No, I don’t really know much.
Uh, just that they don't win a lot. From what Ilya says.
Sorry.
Lisa:
No you’re right lmfao
They’ve really improved though this season!
Especially since we got Ilya and some of the newer rookies too
Marie:
luca haas is playing really well
he’s super sweet too whenever the rookies hang out together
Cassie:
We are SO lucky to have him.
Zane thinks he could be first line material one day.
Rebecca:
hi i’m back
and fuck yeah
i’m sorry we really need to replace dillon
Lisa:
Give Luca a little more time and I’m sure he’ll get there
Selena:
I think our defense could use some work
especially in the third
Caitlin:
I’ll cheers to that
Except for Wyatt!
He’s always fantastic
Lisa:
Don’t let him hear you say that
He’ll get an even bigger head
Cassie:
Right, right.
We gotta keep them humble.
Caitlin:
Exactly
Rebecca:
sometimes our men are losers and that’s okay
Marie:
“sometimes”
Rebecca:
ugh
[Voice Note Length 01:52 - “You guys know how I feel about Montreal, but I think we could learn a thing or two from their…”]
Jane:
There’s actually a lot of areas to pinpoint where their defense could tighten up, not just in third.
(Unsent Message)
Hayes played well, but Toronto ultimately won because he struggled to correctly anticipate how often they changed up the pattern of each release and couldn’t adjust quick enough to cover himself or the goal. That’s why they had so many more SOG in the third than the rest of the game.
(Unsent Message)
Replacing Dillon is only the first step. Haas isn’t ready yet to play first line, but having a strong RW there to tighten up Ilya’s line would firstly help them actually complete more passes and also stop the puck from getting trapped in the neutral zone so much.
(Unsent Message)
Jane:
Wow, you guys aren’t afraid of being brutal.
Lol.
Cassie:
Oh, we aren’t afraid to tell them when they’re playing like shit.
Lisa:
^^^
Rebecca:
isaac appreciates the criticism
we keep most of it here though
Caitlin:
This is pretty tame compared to how heated it can be later in the season.
Please don’t let us scare you off, Jane!
I promise we’re usually very nice!
Jane:
No, I think it’s better to be brutally honest.
I mean, it would probably help them, right?
Cassie:
Of course!
And they actually listen to us, which is probably more than most other teams could say.
Selena:
god forbid a woman know a little puck
Jane:
I think that’s great.
Rebecca:
you’re still interested in learning, right?
imagine ilya’s face when jane starts telling him off after a shitty game
priceless
Jane:
Haha, yeah.
✦ ─── ⋆⋅ 🏒 ⋅⋆ ─── ✦
Private Message
Ilya:
ok lay it on me мой умный зайчик (my smart little bunny)😞
Shane:
[Voice Note Length 12:44 - “I just don’t understand what half of your team was doing out there on the ice tonight. I just finished watching the highlights and it’s clear that they have no fucking clue..”]
Ilya:
да, дорогой (yes, sweetheart)
✦ ─── ⋆⋅ 🏒 ⋅⋆ ─── ✦
❤️ Ottawa WAGs 🖤
Jane:
Sorry, I was talking to Ilya.
So, when do these lessons begin? 🙂