Work Text:
“Shit.”
With a full load already in the washer, the last thing Satoru wanted to do was tell Suguru that he was out of quarters. He turns out the pockets of his jeans, and then the pockets of his jacket, as if quarters will magically appear if he wills them to. He's not keen on another lecture from his best friend, one he thinks he’s heard more times than he can count, about the importance of making sure you have change before throwing detergent in the washer with clothes. There’d been a few times when he’d been here solo and done that, leading to the shameful and embarrassing act of retrieving said clothes and shaking off detergent powder, calling that good enough, and hoping the lesson stuck for next time. It never did. But Suguru was here this time, and he was going to need to get really creative, really fast.
He catches a glimpse at Suguru across the laundromat, tending to his own clothes, and then towards the front at the girls waiting for their own machines to finish up their cycles. They’d had eyes on him ever since he and Suguru had come in, and he can’t help but think that talking to them may be the perfect solution to his little problem. He’d never met a person he couldn’t charm into getting his way, after all. Except Suguru, maybe.
By the time he triumphantly returns to the washing machine he’d abandoned, he’d collected more than enough quarters for the washer and the dryer and two phone numbers he didn’t intend on calling. If he was lucky, Suguru hadn’t noticed. If he was unlucky, he’d likely hear about it the whole way home.
Suguru let out a sigh as he stood before his own washer, counting and then re-counting his coins just to be certain he had enough before he was pouring in detergent and starting the machine. He’d need to get more soon, spare a tenner for a new roll from the bank, and pray that his carefully maintained budget could last for another month in the process. If things were going according to said budget, he’d have enough for groceries, but…
“I think we need to get jobs,” Suguru lamented as he sidled up to Satoru. It wouldn’t be ideal in the slightest, given just how much schoolwork he had any given day, but money was money, and right now money was needed.
“Unless you think you can get by on being a sugar baby. Are those girls going to pay rent for the month?” It was mostly a tease, even if Suguru delivered it in a deadpan, before he passed a glance over his shoulder at the women by the door giggling away to each other. He had caught Satoru going up to them, had seen the passing of phones in his periphery, and he couldn’t dampen the sparks of jealousy that flared at the flagrant display the same as any other time Satoru did it. Suguru swallows hard around the feeling as he stuffs his hands into his pockets, cocking a hip to lean against one of the washers.
“They might.”
Satoru can’t help the smirk that follows, a tease of his own as he presses buttons to start the machine. It’s not surprising to him that it hadn’t escaped Suguru's notice, but at least he’d been spared a lecture this time.
“We’ll be fine,” he says, inching closer to Suguru so that they can talk over the noise of the wash cycles. He didn’t particularly enjoy the idea of getting a day job on top of his classes, even if it would put a little money in his pocket and let him avoid the embarrassing constant predicament of being broke all the time. It’d been almost two months since his parents had cut off his monthly allowance, and he’d been spread thin for almost that long, thinking that they weren’t really serious about that. But it seems they were, much to his dismay, and he’s not sure how much longer he can stretch what he’s got left. Letting guys buy you dinner to avoid buying groceries can only last so long, after all. There were other things to buy, and bills to pay. He could convince his parents to change their minds, surely. Probably. Maybe.
He reaches into his otherwise empty pockets and pulls out a lollipop he’d saved, and pops it into his mouth. “Need all my free time for networking, ya know?”
“Oh, god, here we go again,” Suguru grumbled, turning to lean his back against the machine instead as he folded his arms over his chest. Things had been fantastic up until two months prior, when Satoru still had access to his parents funds; things had been comfortable. Groceries weren’t a concern, Suguru didn’t have to lean so heavily on his savings– which were steadily approaching dry, at the current rate– and he could focus on school without too much need to worry about financials. It was an easy agreement, that Suguru take care of their apartment and cooking, and Satoru would foot the bill on his parents dime.
“How far has your networking gotten you so far?” Suguru presses, giving Satoru a sidelong glance. He can’t help the way his eyes get caught on the lollipop between his lips for a few moments, his gaze lingering longer than is probably acceptable before he forces it away. It looked pink. He probably tasted like strawberries. The thought made Suguru clear his throat as he trained his gaze on the floor. “Anyways, last time I checked, making guys buy you dinner before you fuck them isn’t networking, Satoru. We need to work, I’m getting sick of tofu. There is only so much you can do with tofu.”
Satoru feigns offence at the comment, throwing his hands up before he laughs and gives Suguru a playful shove.
“You’re just jealous cause when you go out, you’ve gotta pay, since chivalry isn’t dead and all that shit,” he teases. “Or you would, if you ever brought any girls home.”
He’d been pestering Suguru for a while now about that. He’s sure there were plenty of girls who had their eye on Suguru, even if he was too oblivious to notice. Too humble to make a move, maybe? Satoru never really could puzzle that one out; Suguru was too good-looking to never have any dates, in his opinion. He’s sure he’d probably told him so a few times, even. There had to be someone that caught his interest. Had to be.
Suguru can feel the flush that falls over his face at the comment, his expression twisting up into one of offense and self-consciousness immediately. It was still a bit of a relief though, for Satoru to constantly ask him about girls; it meant he didn’t know his secrets. The way he’d been pining after his best friend since a few months after they met, the subtle glances he would pass Satoru’s way when he had finished working out or just gotten out of the shower. Satoru was hot; it was an undeniable fact about him. Based on other people’s treatment of him alone, it was clear as day that he was, and Satoru knew it himself too. It never helped Suguru’s silently simmering jealousy to have to hear about all of the hook-ups he was constantly engaging in, if not hear them for himself when Satoru dragged them back to their shared apartment.
“I-I’ve been busy,” Suguru snapped at him, his shoulders near his ears. “I’m focusing on school, which you should be too.” He jabbed an accusatory finger into Satoru’s chest. If a chill went through him at the plush give of his muscles, Suguru doesn’t show the way it makes his organs tingle happily at the feeling. “Stop fucking around before you flunk out.”
His flustering didn’t just stop at his crush on Satoru; no, Suguru had yet another secret that he was all-too self conscious about, especially when Satoru nagged him about anything closely related to getting laid. He could only fake his way through having lost his virginity years ago for so long.
Satoru makes a show of the pout he gives at that comment, whispering something about all work and no play as he crosses his arms. He knew better than to push when it came to Suguru’s dating life, better to leave it at that before he really pushes Suguru’s buttons.
“I’m doing just fine in my classes, thank you very much,” he snarks, a grin on his face as he pulls the lollipop from his lips, using it to point at Suguru. “A’s in everything except History, but I’ve got a plan to fix that one. What do you think the odds are that I could bag the professor?”
It’s a joke. Mostly. Jokes like that usually get a rise out of Suguru, and Satoru loves that. He was cute when he was annoyed. Anyway, it was harmless, even if Satoru knew there was no point in looking at Suguru like that. He was still fun to pester.
“Sa-to-ru!” Suguru scolds, his jaw flapping for a moment before he’s landing a solid smack to Satoru’s upper arm. An incredulous laugh leaves him after he’s done balking at him, shaking his head as he leans heavily back against the wash once more.
“You’re such a whore,” He teases, no real bite to his words– even if the sentiment rang true. Suguru wished he would be more of a whore in his own direction specifically, but there were also a plethora of concerns that followed that train of thought; namely, his lack of experience and whether or not he would be a raging disappointment for Satoru. Secondarily, there was the whole pandora’s box problem involving their friendship and if it would even survive an encounter like that. Just thinking about it made Suguru’s face heat.
“Why not just make an OnlyFans or something, if you’re going to try and sleep your way through life? You could be getting paid for it.”
Satoru scoffs playfully, rolling the lollipop around with his tongue, clicking it against his teeth.
“I don’t think I’m that desperate yet.”
Two stacked laundry baskets in tow, Satoru climbs the apartment stairs first, Suguru not too far behind. He’d offered to carry Suguru’s up for him, since he was currently under the hood of his car trying to figure out why it had overheated. Again. It was a shame he had to tote the baskets since he’d much rather watch Suguru with his hands in the engine bay, but it couldn’t be helped.
He sits down the baskets to fumble for his key, only to be greeted with a bright red notice stuck to the middle of the door.
“Shit.”
This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation if Suguru has ever seen one. He heaves a heavy sigh as he extracts himself from the inner workings of their car, slamming the hood of it down before he gives the tire a kick for good measure. He’d have to tear the car apart to really see what the issue is, but he has his suspicions at this point, and it wasn’t looking good. He feels like he’s walking to the gallows as he makes his way back into the apartment complex, not looking forward to breaking the bad news to Satoru that they were without a car for the foreseeable future.
“Satoru,” Suguru calls as he trudges his way up the steps, a layer of sweat from the late summer air giving a sheen to his exposed skin; he’s stripped down to just his undershirt, a black tank top that clings a bit uncomfortably to his torso, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips to reveal the waistband of his boxers underneath. His hoodie is thrown carelessly over his shoulder, his hair thrown up in a messy bun despite the strands that slip through and fray away from his head. He needs a shower thanks to the grease on his hands and arms; he’s never been more thankful for laundry day.
“It is not looking good,” he continues, staring down at his palms as he ascends the last few steps onto the landing outside of their apartment door. “I think it’s the heater coil, but I can’t know unless I take the whole dashboard off, and that’s a huge pain in the ass so I think it needs to go to the shop–” He pauses when he finally looks up, confused by the sight of Satoru staring down at a paper in his hands, their laundry baskets discarded next to the door.
“Yo, are you… okay? What is it?” He questions warily, with a sinking feeling in his guts.
Satoru can’t even focus on the car situation. His stomach sinks, the feeling of impending doom almost overwhelming as he hands the paper to Suguru. Things had reached critical levels of absolutely fucked in the span of less than five minutes, and he was mentally preparing himself for a verbal lashing unlike any that Suguru had ever given him before.
The stupid little piece of paper made it very clear: they had 30 days to either pay, or vacate. Even worse, now they had no car to get anywhere, much less for both of them to get to two separate jobs. Not to mention a two-week wait for first paychecks, and then two more weeks for the next in the very likely case that both their first checks combined weren’t enough to cover it all. Calling his parents to beg for the money, which at this point he was not opposed to, was also not likely to go in his favor. They’d cited his irresponsibility as reason for being cut off until further notice, and, well… this certainly would not help his case.
All Suguru can really do is stare down at the paper as he processes it; the words bold and red and underlined to accentuate their point. His stomach may as well have fallen out of his body cavity entirely with how hard it dropped. He takes a moment to wipe the sweat off his brow, to suck in a breath that he had hoped would be calming but really was just thready and a bit panicked. They were so fucked.
“We’re so fucked,” he mumbles, not finding it within himself to lecture Satoru at this point. He had his savings, sure, which could have maybe spared them for the next month's rent, but without the savings they have nothing to fix the car with. They needed the car to get jobs. They needed the jobs to continue to afford rent. It was a tormenting feedback loop, circling into itself like all of Suguru’s hopes and dreams swirling down a groady drain. The hand he used to wipe his forehead slid down over his face, stopping at his mouth as he exhaled heavily.
“I don’t… Lets just go inside,” Suguru states, his voice small and somewhat defeated. His gaze lingers on the paper in his hand for a few more moments before he stoops, laying it flat across the clothes in his laundry basket before he hoists it up and makes for the apartment door.
Satoru is uncharacteristically silent as he follows suit behind Suguru and closes the front door. When it all came down to it, this was his own fault, a huge mess of his own making that had toppled over, one by one, like dominoes. He wracks his brain for ideas, ways to fix everything and make it right. Each idea is worse than the last, the reality of this seemingly insurmountable problem dawning on him as he sits at the kitchen table with his head in his hands.
“What the fuck are we supposed to do?”
It’s the only thing he can really think to say, to ask. Suguru would surely have an answer, a brilliant plan and a way to make it out of this, just like he always did.
Suguru deposits his laundry basket on the floor next to the coffee table, his movements measured in a show of restraint. He wasn’t going to freak out, he told himself. He’s going to fold his laundry, then take a shower. He would research quick funding for an hour, maybe two, and then go to bed, and start tomorrow more hopeful. He’s going to do all of this calmly, and one step at a time. He fishes a pair of socks out of the basket as he repeats this to himself, silent as he does it.
In truth, he had no clue what to do. Nothing immediately came to mind that would let them come up with enough for rent in 30 days time. He could try donating plasma, selling his things, looking around for odd jobs, but he couldn’t fathom any of it amounting to the hundreds that they needed to keep the apartment. He still had his savings, even if it had been slowly dwindling, but that still did nothing to help the car situation. As far as Suguru could see, they were completely and totally fucked.
“I don’t know, Satoru,” Suguru says, still measured to the point of sounding flat. He folds a shirt, and adds it to the slowly growing pile of folded clothes on the coffee table. He sees a dirty mug in his periphery and makes a note to rag on Satoru about dishes at a more opportune time. “We have no money, no car, and we’re about to not have a home. We don’t have a way to reliably get to a job, so we’re unqualified for one.” A pair of pants joins the pile, as his voice pitches up in frustration. “Last I checked, you were covering rent while I covered almost everything else, so you tell me what we’re supposed to do here.”
“Is there anything we can do that’s like, I don’t know, in… walking distance or something?”
It was worth a shot to ask, put it out there, even if he himself couldn't think of anything like that off the top of his head. They’d have to get used to walking anyway, since that was the only way they were going to be able to get to class in a few weeks when the new semester started. He feels like he’s going in circles, with no solution that sounds even relatively feasible.
“No, Satoru, I don’t think there is,” Suguru sighed, pausing in folding the last of his clothes to finally level a sharp look at his best friend. “Our apartment is in the business district. It’s all offices, and corporations, and not the kind that would hire us. I can– I can look tomorrow for something within walking distance, but… I mean, fuck it, we may as well make porn at this point, with how limited our options are.”
He feels guilty for how close to a yell he gets by the end of his rant, his face warming. He doesn’t know why he said that; maybe to throw their earlier joking in Satoru’s face, since this mess was technically Satoru’s fault. Maybe because he’s been particularly preoccupied with the thought of Satoru with an OnlyFans ever since they had joked about it, while Suguru got distracted with the way he rolled his tongue over his lollipop in the laundry room. Or maybe because it was half true, at this rate; they didn’t have much to work with here. If they got lucky, they might be able to convince a friend to give them rides, he’s pretty sure Shoko owes him at this point, but with her own workload being in pre-med, he didn’t consider it all that possible. He drops his gaze back down to the hoodie in his hands, fingers twisting in the fabric for a few moments before he forces them to release and returns to his folding.
Something like a bell goes off in Satoru’s head when Suguru says that, no matter how off-handed or possibly unserious he’d been when he said it– it made sense. It was something they could do from their apartment, and for lack of a better way to say it, Satoru had the skill set for it. Not to mention, he had quite a few people in his contact list who would jump on the opportunity to see more of him.
“Guess I am desperate enough for that now, huh?” He attempts to joke, his way of trying to lighten the mood in the wake of figuring out what feels like the only real option they’ve got.
He mulls it over in his head– exactly what kind of content they’re talking about. Solo content almost felt… too boring to be profitable on his part, considering the amount of that he’d given away for free over the years. Making a video with someone else, though… that would be the way. He crooks his head to the side, almost embarrassed to ask the question he wanted an answer to.
“Just me, or… both of us?”
Suguru drops the shirt he was folding when Satoru asks that, his whole body lighting up like a live wire at the thought of fucking Satoru. Even for money, it was half of a dream come true; his daydreams and wet dreams had been plagued by his best friend for years at this point, and it felt too good to be true for the offer to fulfill them to be dangled in his face like this. Suguru’s jaw hangs loose as he stares blankly into the wall in front of him, blinking slowly as he processes what Satoru is asking of him.
“You want… me? To–” His tongue ties itself into a knot before he can finish his sentence. He has no doubt his blush has sunk down toward his collarbones, the tips of his ears feeling too warm to be normal. He lets his hands drop down to curl over the edge of the couch cushions, if only to hide the minute way they start to shake from nerves.
He doesn’t know how.
Well, he’s aware of how; he’s watched plenty of porn, even explored different kinks and niches throughout his watching, and of course he jerks off. But with someone else? It’s new territory. He might know hypothetically what to do and how to do it, but it felt like an entirely other thing to actually put it into practice. That didn’t even involve broaching the topic to Satoru in the first place, which was a shame all on its own. He could already hear his laughter before he’s even said anything. He also figures that they don’t have much of a choice in this situation.
“Look, I know you’re not into guys, but this is kind of our best option right now.”
Satoru closes most of the distance between them, something serious settling in his voice as he tries to convince Suguru. He really needed him on board, because he’d rather not have to outsource this job to a stranger and have to cut them in on the money, since that would defeat the whole purpose. There really wasn’t anyone else he’d feel completely comfortable doing this with. That, and… he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about what Suguru would be like. Maybe even excited to see. He’d keep that to himself, though.
“I can be… very accommodating.”
“A-accommodating?” Suguru squeaks out when Satoru closes the distance between them, leading him to lean back into the sofa as he cranes his neck to look up at him. It felt like too much, to drop one of his two bombshells on his best friend after just how horrible their night had gone; he doesn’t even know how he’s going to broach the topic of both being gay and a virgin to Satoru. He doesn’t feel like he can tonight, not right now, not when he could smell Satoru as well as he can from where he’s standing. He’s nearly crowded himself between Suguru’s legs, the fabric of his sweatpants brushing against Suguru’s bare shins. His heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest from how much he wants to reach out and touch him.
“Oh yeah,” Satoru says, barely resisting his instinct to climb into his lap, play the game like he normally would. It wasn’t like that, this was serious after all– a business transaction of sorts, he thinks. Not to mention it was Suguru. His best friend. So he reins it in, pulls himself together despite the way the conversation had admittedly ramped him up.
“Feels and tastes the same in the dark, after all. You could close your eyes, if you wanted. Won’t hurt my feelings.”
“Tastes?!” Suguru parroted, his eyes going wide, his mind immediately flooded with the thought of eating Satoru out. He shifts in his seat, heat already pooling too low in his hips to not be dangerous, as he clears his throat and tries to think of literally anything else; not for a lack of wanting, but more as a form of self-preservation. This was professional. They needed money. The last thing he needed to do was pop a boner while they’re working out the details of their plan.
“Say I… Say I agreed,” Suguru tries to start, his voice coming out weaker than he wants it to. “How much do you think we could make? Are we, just– posting it online for people to buy? Are we using a website? Are we making an OnlyFans account?” His nerves get the better of Suguru once more as he considers the logistics of their new plan, chewing on his lip as his gaze drops from Satoru’s face down to his lap.
“Would we… need to do it more than once? Like, multiple videos for it to work? Or would it just be the one…?” Suguru has never wished harder for anything than he does on their plan needing them to film more than one video for this to work.
“Probably, if you think you’re up for it,” Satoru chirps, considering that if one is good, then more must be better. He wasn’t particularly familiar with this kind of thing, but he thinks they could probably charge per video they post, and if so, then yeah, more than once would be ideal.
“As for everything else… I don’t know. I’ll have to look into it. Think you can handle doing this more than once?”
Satoru hears something in his own voice when he says that, something he can’t quite place– If Suguru said no, well… he’d have to figure out how to make enough money from just one video. He could probably make that work, but… that wasn’t just it. It almost felt like… rejection, to think that Suguru might not be able to stomach it except for the one time. He pushes that down immediately. It’s not personal. It shouldn’t be personal. It isn’t. He takes a deep breath to steady himself.
“What, are we filming them back to back?” Suguru tries to joke, though it comes out strained from his anxiety over the situation. It felt a bit ridiculous, that it’s come to this of all things– he hadn’t even been serious the two times he had brought it up. He forces his hands to relax where they’re digging into the plush material of their couch, drawing them into his lap instead to fidget against themselves. Satoru had to be at least a little interested, if he wanted to film more than one with him. At the least, he was interested enough in the money. Suguru would take it, whichever one it ended up being.
“I think I would be down to do more than one,” he admits, his voice softening with his confession. “It– it will increase our odds of making enough. I’d like–” he stops himself short before he says too much.
“Money is money.” He states it with a finality instead, like he’s signing a deal or writing away his soul. There’s a seriousness to his face as he finally glances back up at Satoru once more, swallowing thickly as he does. They were actually going to do this. They needed cash so bad, they were going to make porn. It almost doesn’t feel real.
Satoru is almost relieved when Suguru agrees. This is a solid option that may actually work. The sky no longer feels like it’s falling, so Satoru rolls his eyes, repeats money is money back to Suguru in a playfully mocking tone.
“Yeah don’t sound so excited about it,” he says with heavy sarcasm, hoping it at least might make Suguru laugh in spite of the mood that had settled in their apartment. Even if it wasn’t the ideal situation, even if Suguru wasn’t keen on doing this, it was kind of necessary. Satoru is sure he can at least make it… okay for him.
“Go do what you need to do, I’m gonna do some research real fast, meet me back out here in thirty minutes. We’ve got an errand we need to run.”
Satoru hops up without another word, makes his way to his bedroom and shuts the door behind him. The moment he’s alone it actually sets in. With a heavy, shaky breath he imagines Suguru’s hands all over him, touching him like that. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s thought about it, although he tries to keep it at a minimum, since he prefers to stay in the realm of reality when it comes to his fantasies. Suguru was unobtainable. Until now.
He shudders. Even if he knows that making porn because they need money isn’t the same as any other encounter he’d have, his body reacts all the same to the idea.
Suguru sits in the aftermath of the conversation with a shocked look on his face, barely processing that they need to run some mystery errand over his racing thoughts of fucking Satoru. He was going to fuck Satoru. Soon, it sounded like, if his best friend’s urgent tone was anything to go off of. It makes his heart race to consider, that tonight Suguru would not only finally lose his virginity, but to his crush of all people.
God, he needed to shower. He needed to move. Suguru stands up all at once, wiping his sweating palms off on the thighs of his shorts before he’s making his way toward their shared bathroom and slipping inside quietly. His dick is already half hard in his sweats, just the thought of what was to come setting his body alight as he turned on the shower and immediately stripped himself down to get under the stream. The water is cool, colder than he might normally have it, but it’s grounding as he gets to work scrubbing himself clean of the day's sweat and grease and stress.
He really, really hopes he can perform for Satoru. The last thing he wants to do is admit to his secrets, and Suguru supposes that Satoru thinking he was straight gave him a bit of leeway as far as the whole I’m a virgin front went, but… he still wanted it to be good for him. Great even, if he could get over his nerves. It still hits Suguru starkly though that he doesn’t know what Satoru likes. Not well enough at least to formulate a good game plan. Satoru mostly complained about his hook ups, their personality or their lack of aftercare or that their dicks were too small, to which Suguru would grimace and tell him to shut up. He passes a glance down his own body at himself, where his dick refuses to flag between his thighs.
He’s not… small. Right? He’s an appropriate size for someone his height. He’s never been one for measuring his dick or making comparisons, so he isn’t exactly sure if he would constitute as big, but it would probably be enough. He can work with it. Maybe enthusiasm can make up for any disappointment Satoru would feel; his cock gives a hard twitch at the returning thought of having his way with Satoru, and Suguru resigns himself to wrapping a hand around his length to start stroking himself.
A hiss leaves him at the contact, and he’s quick to fall into something more efficient than savoring. His grip is tight, his hand pumping over himself in quick strokes as he lets his mind wander and indulge in the mental image of himself and Satoru in a few hours' time; his mouth, his taste, their hands all over each other. It makes him wonder if Satoru will want to be bent over his bed or if he’d want to look at Suguru while he fucks him, knees up to his ears, that pretty voice of his floating around Suguru’s head the whole while. He knows what Satoru sounds like at least; he’s noisy. A spike of heat goes through him at the memory of all the times Satoru has brought a hookup home and their thin walls have let him be more of a pervert than he already feels like he is. The guilt is outshined by the want when Suguru recalls all the times he’s been in a similar position as this, dick in hand as he chokes down whines, listening to Satoru get railed a room over.
The thought that it’s finally his turn to be on the other side of the wall, dragging those sounds out of Satoru, is what has Suguru spilling over his fist with a choked groan, watching his cum spurt out against the tiles of the shower. He keeps stroking until he’s too sensitive, rinsing his hand off in the stream before he goes back to washing himself, lightheaded now as he tries to calm his mind down. At least this way, he’ll hopefully last longer tonight; the last thing he needed to do was finish too early like the virgin he is.
Suguru finishes up the rest of his shower quickly, throwing a towel around his hips before he gathers up his shed clothing and leaves the bathroom, headed for his bedroom to get dressed and see what kind of errand Satoru was insisting they go run.
By the time Satoru hears the shower shut off and Suguru’s bedroom door close, he’s already got a game plan. He knew what website they were going to use, about how much they could charge for each video, how many they would need to make to be able to cover what they needed. He accounted for a very modest number of people who would buy it, seeing as how they didn’t have much time to garner a proper following. Hopefully the numbers would succeed that expectation, but just to be safe, he’d planned for less anyway.
He had plans for the errand he’d not gone into details to Suguru about– they needed things for all this. Not much with what they could afford right now, but the necessities. He hoped that maybe it would loosen Suguru up a bit as well, make this whole thing a little less… weird for him. He was always a little tightly wound, but this was a whole new level of crazy that Satoru was dragging him into, regardless of whether it was a last resort or not.
He grabs his things to head into the living room and wait for Suguru, combing over the details in his mind so that he can relay everything back to Suguru during their walk. Before he knows it he’s almost pacing, brimming with a kind of nervous energy that he really can’t justify, given the circumstances. He was excited. A pang of shame runs through him when he realizes that. He buries it– ignores it completely. It’s only natural to be excited at the idea of the physical aspect, he reasons. He shakes his head in an attempt to level himself.
Suguru doesn’t take long to leave his bedroom, loitering at the entrance to the living room with a nervous energy teeming off of him. He’s dressed down in a loose tanktop and gym shorts, his wet hair falling around his shoulders as he leans against the wall next to him. His arms fold across his chest so that he doesn’t fidget, watching Satoru pace about the room doing his own nerves no good.
“So,” he starts, breaking the quiet with a soft cough. “Errands? Shall we…?”
Satoru tries not to stare as water drips down the ends of Suguru's wet strands and onto his skin– something he could've easily ignored before today– before he clears his own throat.
“Right. Okay, so I have a plan, and I'll tell you on the way. There’s stuff we'll need.”
He doesn’t say much more than that before he's ushering Suguru out the door to follow him. Satoru knew the way there well, quicker if they were driving but luckily not too far a walk on foot. The sun had begun to set and it was thankfully cooling off, a much needed break from the sweltering heat of the afternoon. He rehashes his plan to Suguru, every detail down to how much he thinks they can sell each video for, how long that money will take to come in, everything. Almost every contingency he could think of. For now, anyway.
Satoru stops Suguru before he opens the door at their destination, patting his pocket and sighing, relieved that he didn't forget his wallet.
“Got your ID, right? They'll card you.”
Suguru stands stiffly in front of the door to the sex shop, his face red from more than just the walk here. It was a lot of information for him to take in on the walk over, all of the metrics that Satoru had worked out, but it was a relief that they had a real plan now, instead of just… lets film a porno and see how much we get. He pulls his wallet out as he swallows thickly, his ID at the ready.
“Yeah, lets… do this, I guess,” he conceded easily before following Satoru through the front door. He had admittedly never been inside of a shop like this before; he’d never had a need to. He could order anything he needed for himself online, and even then he didn’t need much of anything in the first place.
He didn’t expect it to be as… bright. Flashy. Over the top, as the store was. It was kind of overwhelming, really, with all its vibrant colors and lights and displays set up. He trails awkwardly after Satoru, given he doesn’t even know what they’re here to get in the first place; condoms? Lube?
“Why are we here?” Suguru leans forward to ask in a hush, sending a self-conscious glance toward the bored looking shopkeeper at the register.
“I don’t think we have the cash for any toys…” Satoru trails off as he makes his way through the store, admittedly pretty familiar with the layout already. “I have a few if we wanted to use them. Mostly we just need… ah, here it is.”
He brings Suguru to a shelf filled with all different brands and types of lubricants. Silicone, water based, flavored, etc. He takes a minute to browse, keeping in mind what they could afford and what exactly they’d need, how much.
“Most of the flavored ones are okay. Some of them are gross. This sweet one is good, tastes like candy,” Satoru mentions as he points it out on the shelf.
Suguru isn’t sure if he’s going to make it out of this store alive, when Satoru is talking about these things so casually. The fact that he’s tried enough of the flavored lubes to have a preference sends heat through Suguru immediately, and he turns away to pretend to examine an adjacent stand promoting various ropes to adjust his half-hard cock in his pants, tucking it into the waistband of his boxers in the hopes of sparing himself the public humiliation.
“Whatever, uh… whatever you think is best, Toru,” Suguru says when he turns back to stare at the wall of lube. He still takes a second to pick up the one flavored lube Satoru had pointed out, scanning over it with masked curiosity. He feels in over his head, at this rate; it’s only just beginning to set in that he’s going to have to perform for this to work out, and he’s losing confidence in his ability to fumble his way through it.
“You have toys?” He blurts out, for the sake of something to keep his mind off of his anxieties.
“Oh yeah, I got them here, too. I can show you,” Satoru plucks the bottle from Suguru’s hand and places it back on the shelf for now, grabbing his wrist and leading him further towards the back to the boxes of toys and displays that line the back wall. There’s… an awkward topic he needs to breach while they’re here, and he figures that this could be the perfect segway to do just that.
“Here’s one of the ones I have,” he points to the out of box display, almost flustering himself as he clears his throat and carries on with as much confidence as he can have in this situation.
“If you had to, uh, compare,” he blurts out before he can overthink, the implication hopefully clear as he rakes his eyes down Suguru’s front. “Which one do you think is… the closest?” Satoru cringes at the vagueness of his words, the unavoidable awkwardness in what he’s asking clearly apparent in his voice.
Oh god, Suguru thinks, he’s really asking that. It’s like a moment of truth as he silently lets his eyes drift over the overwhelming amount of dildos on display, hands nervous as he reaches out to grab a few of the display-only ones. It was kind of hard to say for sure, given how overwhelmed he was already. It takes him a few moments and more comparisons than he would have liked, before he’s awkwardly offering up an 8-inch dildo, thick and weighted, to Satoru with a red face.
“Probably this…?” He still sounds unsure of himself as he avoids Satoru’s eyes.
Heat creeps up Satoru’s neck as he watches Suguru sift through the displays; the way he wraps his hand around each one before moving onto the next, making comparisons in his mind. His eyes widen when he finally settles on one, one that’s far bigger than Satoru would’ve imagined in his mind.
“You’re joking, right?” he chokes out before he can think twice about it. It’s not his intention to embarrass Suguru any more than he already is, given how red his face had gotten. But Satoru knew that Suguru wasn’t one to exaggerate, and honestly he skewed on the side of humble. If that is what he said was accurate, then it was, and maybe even then some.
“Fuck. If that’s the case…” Satoru puts the toy back in its proper place on the shelf, making a beeline back over to the selection of lubricants they’d stood in front of before. He selects just about the biggest bottle available, just to be safe.
“...this is probably all we need, then.”
Suguru trails after Satoru as he heads back to the lube section, head hung despite the passing glance he gives the dildos as they walk past them. Was that bad? Was he going to be a disappointment after all? That didn't seem like a good reaction; if anything, Satoru came off as almost defeated as he grabbed a stupidly sized bottle of lube from the shelf in front of them.
“Do we need, like, condoms?” Suguru questions, feeling a little defeated himself. He doesn’t even let himself look at the price on Satoru’s choice in lube, intimidated enough by the size of it. Were they going to be making that many videos…? Did Satoru even want to anymore?
“We don’t–” Suguru starts, a hand reaching out to wrap around his bicep to pause Satoru on his way to the register. “If you’re having second thoughts, I mean. We don’t have to… do this. I don’t want you to have a– a bad time.” Suguru resents the fact that he stumbles over his words, his free hand raising to rub at the back of his neck as he speaks. He figured it was just decency though, to offer him an out before he did anything he regretted. Suguru feels bad enough that he’s been… not lying, but omitting the fact that he’s never done this before.
Satoru cocks his head to the side, a little confused at Suguru’s reaction. Had he said something wrong? But the grip on his arm sends a shock through him, chillbumps rising on his skin. He leans in a little closer, almost a little too brave in the way he intrudes on Suguru’s personal space.
“Sugu,” he whispers close to him, trying not to be heard by other store patrons or the cashier up front. “You basically just said you’ve got the biggest dick I will have ever seen in person, and then you think I’m having second thoughts?” A wide grin splays across his face as he speaks slowly and quietly, barely forcing himself to keep eye contact instead of letting his eyes wander to see if he can see for himself. He supposes he would see for himself, soon enough anyway.
“As far as condoms go, I kinda figured you’d already have some. But…” he bites his lip and breaks eye contact in favor of staring at the worn floor tiles under their feet.
“We could… skip them. Unless you’d rather not.”
Suguru’s eyes go wide at the clarification, his breath stuttering out into something that almost resembles a wheeze as he processes what Satoru just said. Big. His dick was… big. The biggest– according to Satoru, the king of hook ups and one night stands– that he’s ever seen. Suguru can’t help the pleased shiver that goes through him at the praise, swallowing thickly.
“I-I’m clean,” Suguru says, trying to sound as casual as possible. It leaves him a little cracked anyways, but he resumes their walk towards the counter with a bit more pep in his step this time. “If you’re comfortable… going without, then okay.” He already has his wallet out as he nods his head to tell Satoru to put the lube on the counter. The cashier looks between them with a bored expression, though there’s recognition when their gaze falls on Satoru.
“Good. Me too,” Satoru says in return, nodding at the familiar cashier. He was getting antsy to get out of here at this point; even though they’d likely not start anything until tomorrow, so they’d have the whole new day to set up and figure everything out. Maybe if he was lucky, he could convince Suguru to give him a sneak peak. He chews at the inside of his cheek as the register opens and Suguru pays, the sound of the printer churning out a useless receipt grating in his ears as the rest of him buzzes. He was a bit overeager at this point, far more than he thinks he probably should be. As soon as Suguru has the bag in his hands, Satoru is turning heels towards the door and pulling him towards it.
“C’mon, let’s head back.”
There’s an awkward air surrounding the pair as they trudge their way back into their apartment, Suguru quick to drop the bag he carried onto the kitchen table. He didn’t quite know what to do with himself at this point; he wasn’t sure if the filming would start tonight, if Satoru wanted to wait until tomorrow, or the weekend. He idles next to the table for a few moments, staring hard down at the bag and its lube contents, considering things critically.
This is happening. He’s going to fuck his best-friend-and-crush. As his first time. On camera. For profit. The amount of things that could go wrong, in Suguru’s eyes, were astronomical.
“So what now?” He asks eventually, before he goes to haul the huge bottle of lubricant from the bag and set it gingerly on the wooden tabletop. He bunches the plastic bag into a little ball, treating it like a subpar stress toy for a few moments, before he’s going to stash it away with the rest of their collection. “Are we… doing this tonight? Or…”
“I figured we could wait until tomorrow,” Satoru says, lingering in the kitchen while he garners the courage to ask for what he wants. It was pretty rare for him to be this nervous, the subtle shake in his hands relatively new. But there was a lot riding on this; he didn’t want to push too far and scare Suguru out of this idea, since it really was the only way they were feasibly going to keep their apartment. But even more than that, he didn’t want to cross a line so blatantly that he compromised their friendship. Suguru was his best friend, after all. But there were other reasons, he figured, for asking for what he wanted. Practical reasons, just about as many as there were selfish ones.
“But, I am curious. Thought maybe I could get a sneak preview,” Satoru says as he strides closer, bridging the gap between them and stopping short just before he gets too close.
“Maybe even a practice round. No cameras.”
Suguru jolts physically at the ask, his eyes going wide as he turns to stare up at Satoru. It catches him fully off-guard, his heart stuttering in his chest as sneak preview and practice round float around in his skull. He feels dizzy with the amount of blood immediately vacating his head and heading south, at the thought of Satoru wanting him enough to want to have sex outside of its professional purpose. He would think he misheard his best friend if it wasn’t for the way he looked at him with that glint in his eye, leaning into his space as he was. Suguru wants to reach out, but in the moment he isn’t sure where to put his hands, so they simply hang uselessly in front of him instead; overall, he looks like a deer in the headlights, and Satoru asking him to fuck may as well have been an 18-wheeler barreling toward him.
“I’m a virgin,” Suguru blurts out without thinking. He had meant to say something more smooth, an agreement despite his nerves, but… Well.
“I’ve never… done this before,” he continues, in an awkward attempt to recover at least a little bit of dignity from the situation. If he’s coming out with one secret, he may as well come out with the rest– barring telling Satoru he has feelings for him, at least. “I also like guys, so… yeah. I don’t– I don’t know what I’m doing here.”
Satoru can only stand there, wide-eyed and slack jawed at both admittances. He’s not sure which one to focus on first– the fact that Suguru liked guys too, or that he’d never had sex. Ever. He processes it, and suddenly there’s so many things that finally make sense now– even if it still seemed impossible that either of those things were true.
“You’re fuckin’ with me,” Satoru scoffs, a nervous laugh following. He really did feel like he was being pranked, or something. “You’ve never been with… anyone? Ever? No blowjobs, no handjobs, nothing?”
Something dips in Satoru’s stomach, at the idea of being Suguru’s first. That’s not something he had ever even thought about being a possibility. He hadn’t even taken it into consideration when he’d seriously considered this whole porn thing, and definitely not when he’d blatantly asked for a sneak peak. He’s suddenly very glad that he did, since he doesn’t think he could ever really get over taking Suguru’s virginity on camera, for other people to watch. Something almost possessive flares up in him, just thinking about it. He guesses that some practice may be more practical than he’d thought after all.
Satoru pulls in a little closer, eyes wandering further down Suguru’s front without holding back this time. He tentatively reaches his hand out, pressing his palm against the firm muscles of Suguru’s stomach.
Suguru jumps at the feeling of Satoru’s palm pressing against his stomach, the muscles flexing immediately. The tank top he wears is thin, something loose and breathable, and he can feel the warmth that radiates off of Satoru’s palm through it like he was touching his bare skin. He swallows thickly as he glances down at where they touch. His heart stutters in his chest as he stares hard at Satoru’s hand, silently willing it to slide lower, where he’s aching in his shorts.
“Never,” Suguru assures, and his voice has gone thready and breathless. He forces himself to suck in a deep breath, feeling the weight of Satoru’s palm as it shifts, just barely, when he inhales. “Nothing. I’ve never– never done it before.” Tentatively, Suguru reaches his own hand up enough to close loosely around Satoru’s wrist, just holding him there, adjusting to the contact.
Feeling the way that Suguru jumps, then goes nervous and rigid under his touch, is really all the confirmation Satoru needs. Not that Suguru would have any reason to lie; it’s just so far-fetched to him that no one had ever touched Suguru before. He was everything anyone could ever want, really– he would have been less surprised to have instead heard that Suguru had been with as many people as Satoru himself had, just more inconspicuous about it.
“Shit, Sugu,” Satoru says in a hushed tone when it finally truly sinks in. “I wouldn’t have suggested all this if I knew, I… I’m sorry. If you wanna find another way, we can. I don’t want to ruin your first time for you, if you wanted it to be with… someone special.”
His cheeks burn as he says it. It’s the respectful thing to do, at the very least, let Suguru have that choice back. Satoru could control himself, despite how hard he was already in his jeans, how much he wanted to slide his hand further down and be the first one to touch Suguru like that. But he figures there were probably reasons that Suguru had kept this from him. If Suguru hadn’t made a move before, he likely didn’t see him like that, and…
Satoru’s breathing hitches as he hovers, still not quite ready to pull back, on the off chance that Suguru has something else in mind.
Suguru doesn’t try to fight the urge as he leans in, crashing his lips into Satoru’s with a short, cut-off sound. The tension ebbs out of him the second he makes contact, his motions clumsy if not eager. Satoru had sounded like he felt so bad when he offered to take back the offer, and the kiss was the closest Suguru could get to confessing his feelings without actually doing so. If anything was going to ruin this, it was him admitting to the massive crush he’d had on his roommate since they’d met.
“I trust you,” is what he says instead, breathing hard into the short space between them when Suguru pulls back to breathe. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath in the first place until they had disconnected. He stares up at Satoru openly, expression as honest as he can bear for it to be as a hand curls around the nape of Satoru’s neck to hold him where he is. “I trust you, Toru. S’okay.”
Seeing Suguru breathless like this has Satoru’s vision blurring out at the edges, hot all over as he shifts gears into something almost desperate. He steadies himself, trying to rein himself in if he was going to be the one leading here. He needed to keep his wits about him despite the way he ached, throbbing in his jeans, more than eager to get his hands on Suguru. But he slows, pacing himself as he slides his hand just barely closer towards the waistband of Suguru’s shorts. His fingers tease at the elastic, pulling it just barely and letting it snap back as he catches Suguru’s eyes.
“Can I?”
Suguru gives a shallow nod at the question, his blood boiling under his skin at the feeling of Satoru snapping the waistband of his briefs like that. He’s still got his cock tucked into the elastic, now fully hard as it throbs against his stomach. The head sticks out past the fabric, flushed ruddy and beading with precum already. It kind of ached, if Suguru was being honest with himself, even if the loose fabric of his shorts was forgiving.
His eyes keep darting between Satoru’s own and his lips like he wants to lean in again and taste him, like he’s unsure where to look that isn’t down, at where Satoru’s nearly touching him. Suguru slowly backs himself up until his lower back meets the kitchen counter, leaning his weight there; he uses the hand still wrapped around Satoru’s wrist to tug him along before he lets go of him, giving him full control over his hand and where he decides to put it.
Satoru readily accepts that invitation, pulling at Suguru’s waistband until his cock springs free. He swallows hard and peers down between them before he makes any move to touch Suguru.
“Holy shit,” he hisses, an almost shocked expression settling on his face as he stares. “You were serious.”
He thinks back to earlier, in the store, about what he’d imagined when Suguru had given him an idea of what he had to work with, and nothing he could’ve dreamed up could’ve compared to the real thing. It truly was the biggest he’d ever seen in person, and he’d be almost intimidated if he weren’t so determined to impress. He’s not sure where to even start. He's tempted to immediately get on his knees, but worries it might be too fast, so he settles for wrapping his nimble fingers around the base, working upwards slowly, bringing it back down quickly with the flick of his wrist.
Suguru staggers at the feeling of Satoru’s fingers curling around his length, his body lighting up like a live wire at the contact. His toes curl, his spine goes straight, his breath stutters out of him all at once as his head tips down enough to look at where they’re connected; the contrast in their skin tones, the size comparison between Satoru’s palm and his own dick. It feels as foreign as it does exhilarating, drawing a groan out of Suguru’s chest as he tries to hold back from fucking up into Satoru’s fist.
He gets a bit bolder then, the hand on Satoru’s wrist migrating to palm a bit awkwardly at the front of his jeans, feeling out for his cock to give it a squeeze through his strained jeans. His inexperience is clean in the way his hands stutter, his grip too light or too firm, unsure of what Satoru prefers or what would feel best.
Satoru pauses his motions then, needing both of his hands to undo his jeans, help make it easier for Suguru to touch him in return. He takes his time, careful not to rush as much as he wants to as he slides them further down his hips. Eyes trained on his face, he guides Surugu’s hand back, slowly. He resumes then, eyes still fixed up so that he can watch the way Suguru’s mouth parts when he moves, listening closely to the mostly muffled small sounds that escape his lips.
“Do it like how you’d touch yourself,” Satoru says, rolling his hips forward into Suguru’s touch, only slightly.
“Show me.”
Suguru moans loudly at Satoru’s words, something that breaks in his throat when it leaves him unintentionally. His cock twitches hard against his palm when he says Show me, a shiver running up Suguru’s spine as the words float around in his head. He supposes he can check off being talked through it and dirty talk from his list of newly discovered kinks. Suguru had a hunch he would be learning a lot about himself tonight.
He keeps his touches on the lighter side though, slow and even strokes up and down Satoru’s length that focus more on teasing than pursuing a finish. Suguru tries to remember what he does when he wants to savor it, when he’s got all the time in the world to get himself off and he’s taking his time with himself. The angle is a little awkward, but he still manages to drag the pad of his thumb across Satoru’s slit, pressing down on the spongy head with a heavy sigh before he’s back to working his palm up and down him once more. His eyes dart between their hands and Satoru’s eyes as he works, his nerves obvious as his breathing goes heavy and labored.
“Is– is this alright?” He asks softly, nudging the tip of his nose against Satoru’s when he speaks.
A shaky sigh leaves Satoru at the noises Suguru makes, at how thready but still soft his voice sounds. Each pass of Suguru’s hand makes him feel more frantic, losing focus on his own strokes, fumbling and struggling to keep a steady rhythm. He tries his best to mimic Suguru’s motions despite the slight tremble of his hand. Suguru just felt so good, good enough that Satoru thinks he could finish just like this, from this little. His head tips forward, his forehead pressing against Suguru's collarbone before he’s pulling back quick and out of Suguru’s touch.
Satoru drags his hand down Suguru’s chest, across his navel while he lowers himself to his knees, bracing his hands against Suguru’s hips when he’s eye level with Suguru’s cock. He bumps it with his nose, taking him in hand and pressing it to his cheek once before he flicks his tongue to lick at the tip. He spends time like that, light teasing touches, before he’s pressing the head of Suguru’s cock past his lips.
Suguru staggers when Satoru drops down onto his knees, his breath catching hard as he stares down at him with wide eyes. He hadn’t been expecting that; a handjob, maybe, to start easing him into things, but this? His stomach tightens immediately at the sight before him, a fantasy playing out in real time as Satoru presses his cock to his face and laps at him lightly. He draws more breathy sounds from him with each pass of his tongue, unable to stop the way his cock twitches at all of the attention on his tip.
“Fuck, Satoru–” He gasps out when he starts to ease his length into his mouth, Suguru’s hands burying themselves into his friend’s hair and gripping. He already feels so close, the wet warmth of Satoru’s tongue overwhelming, his lips so soft around him as he suckles. Suguru’s jaw hangs loose as he tries to hold off the impending orgasm, but it’s hardly any time before he’s tugging at Satoru’s hair to try and pull him off.
“I-I’m gonna cum–” He grunts out, voice desperate as he breathes hard, his face pinched in restraint.
Satoru relents to the soft tugging at his hair, pulling back but staying close. He wraps his hand around Suguru’s cock once again to try and push him over the edge, whispering encouraging words under his breath as he strokes him. He flattens his tongue underneath, closes his eyes and patiently drinks in the noises Suguru makes as he falls apart.
“There you go, that’s it,” he coos up at Suguru. “Let me taste you.”
A harsh gasp leaves Suguru when he finally spills over, shooting thick ropes of cum into Satoru’s mouth, up his cheek and nose. He curls forward as he does, his whole body going taut as he watches it happen with wide eyes, the sight of Satoru getting covered in his spend only making it more intense. He nearly drools onto him as his finish shakes through him, his jaw hanging loose while his fingers twist harshly into Satoru’s hair like he needs something to hold on to through it. Suguru is panting when he finishes, cock sensitive as it flags in Satoru’s grip.
“Shit– I’m sorry,” he sighs out, releasing the hold he had on Satoru’s hair to stroke through it instead, soothe whatever ache he may have caused in his friend’s scalp. He’s flushed all over at this point, a sheen of sweat covering his skin from the intensity of it all, standing frozen over Satoru as he processes everything that just happened. He looks a bit awestruck, on top of embarrassed for how quickly he ended up cumming.
“Don’t be,” Satoru says, using his thumb down his nose and cheek to gather up the bit of Suguru’s cum that had missed his mouth. He swipes it across his tongue, swallows easily as he stands, brings himself back up to face Suguru and leans in close. He kisses Suguru hard, lapping into his mouth lazily despite the desperate way he paws at Suguru’s hands to bring them to rest on his hips. He wants to taste Suguru’s mouth, let Suguru taste himself on his tongue as Satoru grinds against his thigh.
“Wanna hear what I sound like when I finish?”
“Fuck yes,” Suguru whined into the kiss, returning it just as desperately as Satoru gave it. He was sloppy, all teeth and tongue as his hands gripped Satoru’s hips hard. He used it as leverage to spin him around, changing their positions so he could crowd Satoru back against the countertop. He felt a little bolder, seeing just how badly Satoru still seemed to want him; bold enough to trail a few kisses down Satoru’s jaw, the side of his neck, before he was lowering himself down onto his knees in front of him.
It was a bit intimidating, seeing Satoru’s dick so close; flushed a pretty pink color, fully hard as it hung in front of him. He stared it down with a hint of nervousness, his previous boldness slipping through his fingers, but he still wrapped a hesitant hand around the base of him before he did what Satoru had done and pressed it against his cheek.
“I feel like now’s a good time to mention,” he started, his voice coming from somewhere low in his chest as he nuzzled up against the length of Satoru’s cock, watching him through his lashes, “I don’t have a gag reflex.”
Satoru curses under his breath at that. Seeing Suguru on his knees like this almost feels like some sort of elaborate dream, something too good to be true, that’ll he will wake up from at any moment. But the feeling of Suguru’s mouth on him brings him right back to the moment as he twists his fingers into Suguru’s hair, barely resisting the urge to thrust into the warmth of his mouth. Gag reflex or not, Satoru still wanted to take his time.
He lets his head lull back as Suguru works. “So good, baby,” he hums. “Doing so well.”
Suguru had read enough about how to give a blowjob, and watched enough porn, that he felt like he at least kind of knew what he was doing; hollow his cheeks, mind his teeth, remember to use his tongue. He’s still a little uncoordinated though, the weight and shape of Satoru in his mouth yet another foreign sensation that he was slow to adjust to. He bobs his head shallowly, fingers stroking along what he hadn’t tried to fit inside yet as he sighed and tried to commit the taste of him to memory. It was enough to make his cock twitch hard in his lap, tingling with the want of filling out again.
“Tell me what you like,” he offers when he pulls off of him, breathing heavily as he takes to stroking across Satoru’s entire length to compensate for the break. His jaw is already starting to ache, but he wants to really taste him. He needs the satisfaction of getting Satoru off, of hearing what he sounds like when he cums. He lets his mouth hang open after he speaks, head tilted up to watch his friend as he taps his cock onto his waiting tongue.
“Ah–” Satoru whines, winding his fingers even further into Suguru’s hair until they’re settled at the back of his neck. He feels almost shy at the question, stuttering a bit and tripping over the words he tries to force out. It’s unlike him, to waver like that, usually apt to say exactly what he wants with no reservations. But it seems like more fun to let Suguru figure it out himself, see what made him tick. Heat pools low in his stomach at the thought of Suguru taking his time, taking him apart bit by bit.
“Not telling,” he teases as he tugs lightly on Suguru’s hair. He’d drag this out as long as he could, if he had his way. “But you’ll know when I’m close.”
Suguru sends a glare Satoru’s way at his teasing, eyes narrowed as he simply closed his lips around his cock in response. If he was going to be like that, then Suguru supposed it couldn’t be helped; Satoru had such a penchant for being a pain and a brat, he can’t say he’s surprised by it. It still gets his blood roiling in his veins though, enough to make him want to try and impress him, make him eat those words entirely.
Suguru moves slowly as he sinks down on Satoru. He simply holds him at the base to keep his cock steady, his jaw open as he takes a leisurely pace in swallowing him down. He startles for a moment when he feels Satoru’s tip knock against the back of his throat, but after repositioning himself slightly and tilting his head back a little further, he finds it isn’t too uncomfortable to fit him past the tight ring of muscles. He swallows around him on reflex, his body's way of trying to force down the intrusion; Suguru doesn’t stop until he feels the tip of his nose brushing against Satoru’s stomach.
A choked off noise leaves Satoru at the way Suguru takes him deep into his throat. It doesn't take much of that to get Satoru vocal, loud enough that Suguru knows how well he’s doing. His hips stutter, and Satoru gives a tentative roll forward to test the waters– enough to see what Suguru could take. Not that Satoru needed much, already practically undone by the tight wet heat of Suguru's throat and the glint in his eyes despite how dark they'd gotten. Suguru looked so perfect like this, and no one had ever seen it except Satoru.
“Fuck,” he hisses, kneading his fingers into the nape of Suguru's neck, rocking forward in shallow motions deeper into Suguru's throat.
A cut-off whine leaves Suguru’s throat at the sound of Satoru swearing under his breath, paired with the surprise of him rolling his hips into Suguru’s face. His eyes roll briefly at the pressure, the weight of him sliding in and out of his throat, the muscles contracting every so often in a bid to get rid of it. Suguru tries to simply breathe through his nose when he can, timing the pace of his head to the one Satoru sets. He lets his hands rest against his thighs, slide up to curl around his hips and try to urge him forward, welcoming him to thrust into his throat.
In a way, it was almost easier if Satoru fucked his face; he didn’t have to worry about juggling tricks with his tongue and his lips while he sucked him off, he could just sit pretty and let Satoru do what he wanted to him. It didn’t help that Suguru kind of liked the idea of being manhandled by Satoru like this, the hands in his hair and at the nape of his neck, wrapped tight and tugging or pushing lightly, was making his cock fill back out in his lap.
“Ah–! Suguru–”
He repeats Suguru’s name a few times under his breath, like a mantra as he thrusts a little bit harder. The grip on his thighs urges him forward, and it's almost overwhelming how quickly it winds him up, heat coiling tighter in his belly with each passing second. His heart beat ticks up, breath ragged alongside the steady stream of enthusiastic feedback he gives Suguru. For all of Suguru’s nervousness earlier– Satoru isn't sure he would've been able to tell that he didn't have experience with this. Not with just how easily he'd unraveled him.
He pulls on Suguru’s hair lightly as a warning, giving him the chance to back up if he needed it.
“Almost,” he whines, a desperate wilt to his voice as his breathing kicks up a little more, heaving breaths as he barrels toward the edge.
Suguru lets out a whine of his own at the way Satoru sounds, so desperate and pitchy as he spirals toward his own finish. Suguru puts more effort into meeting the thrust of his hips, moaning as best he can around the cock down his throat as he tries to push Satoru over the edge; he wants to taste him, wants to feel the way his cock throbs against his tongue, needs to know what he looks like when he finally tips over the edge. Suguru cracks his eyes open at the thought, taking in the pinched expression on Satoru’s face, the bead of sweat slowly rolling down his temple, sighing heavily through his nose at just how good he looks like this.
Satoru tips over the edge with a gasp when Suguru doesn’t draw back, choking back a loud moan as he spills into Suguru’s throat. His grip in Suguru’s hair is almost white-knucked as his hips stutter, legs shaking just barely with the force of it. His breathing tries and fails to even out, huffing breaths while his heart beats out of his chest. It’s so good that it makes him greedy; he wants even more, and makes it clear in the way he tugs at Suguru’s shirt, eager to taste himself on his tongue.
“You sure you’ve never done that before?” he asks, breathy, with a big dumb smile spread across his face.
“Could’ve fooled me.”
Suguru chokes when Satoru cums down his throat, jerking slightly in the firm grip he has on him given how unexpected the feeling is; he can feel every drop of it sliding down to his stomach, the throbbing against his tongue making him whine softly as his eyes roll. He still takes it all though, sucking at him as he pulls away. He coughs once Satoru is out of his mouth, his eyes a bit wet as he looks up at him with a grin on his face.
“You’re the first,” he teases back, letting himself be pulled up to his feet. He crowds Satoru back against the counter eagerly, licking into his mouth with a satisfied hum as his hands immediately go to hold onto his hips. His grip borders on unrelenting; he has everything he could want in his palms right now, ready to be taken. Suguru feels dizzy with the thought, as he kisses Satoru like it’s the last time he’ll ever get to.
In the lull of his finish, he slows down their kiss, takes his time in the moment. His heart flutters and his stomach dips, aftershocks still running through him like pins and needles as he pulls back, takes Suguru in– his watery eyes, the piecey strands of hair that have fallen in his face. He pets at Suguru’s hair, runs his fingers through it, tucks it gently behind his ear as he runs his thumb across his cheek. Heat still roils in his veins, but alongside it is this softness that he didn’t expect.
“Are you okay?” Satoru asks gently, a laugh rolling off his tongue with how giddy he still is from everything that’s happened. “I might’ve gotten carried away.”
Suguru flusters at the tender attention, his head ducking slightly to stare down at their feet, at his own hands on Satoru’s hips, fingers kneading gently at the bare skin he finds there. It gives him butterflies, enough of them to almost feel nauseous, at just how soft Satoru has gotten; asking if he’s okay, that grin on his face, the gentle way he strokes at his hair and cheek. Suguru can’t help his own grin in the face of the affection, more than smitten with his friend as he gives a shy nod.
“I’m okay,” he assures softly, his voice rough around the edges, glancing up at him through his lashes. He’s nervous as he reaches a hand up to cup over Satoru’s own, squishing it into his cheek. “Could have gone harder, honestly.”
Satoru blurts out a laugh at that, forehead resting against Suguru’s shoulder. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
He shifts against Suguru, slips his hand out from underneath Suguru’s, fingers grazing his jaw and tracing down to his collarbone to hover there. He presses his lips to that spot, slowly repeats back up until he’s buried himself into the crook of Suguru’s neck, kissing every bit of skin that he can along the way as slow and savoring as possible. He’s still hungry for more; skin still flushed and warm as he tugs at Suguru’s tank top in a bid for him to take it off.
“Take mine off too,” he says softly against Surugu’s ear, letting his warm breath linger there. Something inside tells Satoru not to rush, to be patient, in spite of how fast he wants to go.
Suguru flusters at the soft attention, his eyes fluttering closed as his head tips to the side, revealing more of his throat to Satoru in the process. It almost tickles, something he didn’t expect from the litany of kisses he was being given, and it makes him laugh quietly under his breath. He shuffles back just enough to shed his tank top when Satoru tugs at the fabric, not caring for where it ends up when he drops it to the kitchen floor, before his fingers are folding into the hem of Satoru’s own shirt and pulling up slowly. Satoru’s voice telling him what to do sent a shiver up his spine, something full-bodied that left goosebumps in its wake.
“Should we–” he starts, before he lets out a slow breath through his nose at the thought that they were doing this. He drops Satoru’s shirt just shy of his own on the tiles before his hands are smoothing up his stomach, across his chest, feeling the ridges of his muscles beneath his smooth skin. He felt so warm, his friend’s blush having sunk down his throat and across his pecs, leaving him dusted pink. Suguru kind of wants to bite him. He just barely manages to resist– for now. “–Should we go to the bedroom…?”
Satoru nods, eyes wandering to take in the view of Suguru’s skin on display in front of him. He’d seen Suguru shirtless plenty of times– more times than he could probably count by now. But this was so different. He could reach out and touch if he wanted, even better he could lean forward and kiss as much of that skin as he wished. If he wanted to spend time tracing every inch of him, across freckles, scars, he probably could. Suguru would probably let him. It would be time well spent, learning every bit of him.
He drapes his arms over Suguru’s shoulders, interlocking his fingers behind Suguru’s neck.
“Take me, then.”
In lieu of responding, or grabbing hold of Satoru to drag him back to one of their bedrooms, Suguru bends enough to scoop an arm under the back of Satoru’s knees and– with a grunt– lifts him up and into his arms. He bounces him for a moment, just so that he can make sure he has a good grip on him, before he’s heading out of the kitchen and down the hall. He shoulders his way into Satoru’s bedroom, figuring he was the one that knew how all of this went and thus, would be the one with whatever supplies they might need to make this happen. Suguru kneels on the bed before he drops Satoru down onto it, a grin on his face from the opportunity to show off.
“Anything else, your highness?” He teases, before he’s leaning in to capture his lips again, over eager to kiss the man he’s been dreaming of for years.
“Yeah. C’mere,” Satoru laughs as he leans into Suguru’s kiss. There’s still butterflies in his stomach over how effortlessly Suguru had carried him to his bed, along with the nervous energy about what they were about to do. It doesn’t quite feel real yet, hasn’t sunk in all the way exactly how Satoru feels about it– but he at least knows that it feels right. Like this is how it should be, with Suguru here, looking at him like this, wanting him like this.
The heat in their kiss spikes quickly– from timid and slow to teeth and tongues and wandering hands in almost no time. Anywhere that Suguru touches doesn’t feel like enough, and Satoru’s skin burns hot under his palms. Satoru whines when he parts from it to rummage through his bedside table.
“This time I’ll talk you through it,” Satoru says, passing him the bottle of lube he’d retrieved.
“...show you how I like it.”
Suguru sat up once Satoru had climbed off of him, watching as he grabbed the bottle of lube and passed it to him. He stared down at the bottle a little apprehensively, reading over the label, taking in the ⅔ empty nature of it as he swallowed hard. He knew how to do this– probably. He was familiar enough at least; hopefully he could make it good for Satoru.
“Show me how you like it,” Suguru echoed back, nodding as he looked back up at Satoru. He reached out slowly, his hand sliding down his side to the waistband of his jeans, slotting his fingers under the fabric to start tugging them, and his boxers, down slowly. He was excited to finally see Satoru naked; he’d fantasized enough about the idea of him fully bare, he felt impatient to finally have it come true.
“I’m guessing we start here? Should I take mine off too?” He hummed softly, his eyes darting between the offending article of clothing and Satoru’s face, gauging his expression.
“Mhmm,” Satoru hums back in agreement, lifting his hips up off the bed enough that Suguru can slide his jeans off easier. He properly blushes when he’s free of them, naked underneath Suguru– funny to him how unlike himself it was to be embarrassed in this position. He can’t remember ever feeling quite this vulnerable, this open, even when it was his first time. It’s only fair then, he thinks, that he should also have a first here with Suguru.
After he helps Suguru out of the rest of his clothes as well, Satoru can’t help but stare– still in awe of just how impressive he was, especially now that he could get the full picture. He forgets that he’s supposed to be guiding, lost in hazy thoughts instead.
Suguru settles easily between Satoru’s thighs after he’s shed the rest of his clothes. Settled on his knees, he stares down at Satoru looking not unlike a lost puppy; more than eager, a little wary, sufficiently lost. He wants to kiss him, he wants to touch, he needs to be inside of him. He needed it years ago, and he’s still shocked that he’s going to get the opportunity in the first place. His fingers splay over Satoru’s thighs hesitantly, the motion slow and timid before Suguru eases himself into it, gripping at his friend as he spreads his legs a little wider and leans in.
“What next?” He hums softly, his lips hovering over Satoru’s own. Idly, Suguru wondered if he would be allowed to leave marks on him; something to prove he was here, that he got him, even if it ended up being fleeting. He’d seen them, rarely, in passing on Satoru; little bruises and hickies on his throat or shoulders, especially after particularly noisy nights with others. Suguru ducks his head enough to drag his lips across the column of Satoru’s throat, up to his jaw, daring to nip lightly at his skin.
Satoru’s breath hitches with the feeling of Suguru’s fingers creeping up his thighs, spreading them wider underneath him. He guides Suguru’s hand just a little lower, as a suggestion, his heart rate kicking up in anticipation. He’s used to being vocal– used to saying what he wanted whether whoever he was with really listened or not– but having Suguru hanging on his every word, waiting for direction, almost makes him nervous enough that he’s afraid his voice will shake when he speaks.
“Use your fingers,” he whispers softly. “Go as slow as you’d like.”
Suguru hums at the instruction, his hand smoothing up Satoru’s thigh as Suguru’s mouth makes a slow descent from his throat, across his chest, even further toward his stomach. He makes a valiant effort at multitasking, spreading lube across his fingers, cringing internally at just how messy it is, before teasing them against Satoru’s hole, massaging at the ring of muscles with a low hum. He can feel the way he twitches at the contact, again when Suguru does dare to suck a light bruise into Satoru’s hip.
“I can do better than that,” Suguru said against his skin, before he was hiking Satoru’s hips up at the same time he was ducking his head down past them. He splayed across the sheets a little awkwardly, finding a comfortable position before his thumbs were spreading Satoru apart. Suguru stared for a few moments, unable to help himself after years spent daydreaming about a situation like this. He sighs against his hole before his tongue dips out, hesitancy obvious in the light way he laps over him, startled by just how sweet he tasted; almost like strawberries, distinctly artificial. It takes Suguru a moment to realize the lube is probably flavored, and he’s disappointed he can’t taste just Satoru.
“Sugu–” Satoru gasps out, caught off-guard by the feeling of Suguru’s tongue against him. It sends a shiver up his spine, his back arching to bring the touch closer. It surprises him the way that Suguru takes the initiative so boldly, sends heat coursing through Satoru and leaves him as the impatient one, rocking his hips forward to encourage him. He braces his hands on Suguru’s shoulders, eager to see exactly what he has planned, just how much time he’ll spend here before he gets impatient too. His head tips back as he settles into the feeling, Suguru’s tongue working slowly, almost timid.
“F-Feels good,” he says, fingers kneading into the skin of Suguru’s shoulders.
Suguru groans at Satoru’s reaction, opening his eyes to peer up his friend’s body for a few moments before he’s doubling his efforts. He sighs as he buries his face against Satoru, tongue growing more bold as he licks and sucks at his hole, his own cock hard once more as he grinds it down against the bedsheets.
“Taste so good,” Suguru gasps out at one point, drawing back enough to suck down some air, wipe the back of his hand across his mouth. He takes Satoru in as he does, drinking up the way that he’s twisted up with pleasure, the noises he was making something that would live in Suguru’s brain for the rest of his life. He sounds so good, especially when he’s calling out Suguru’s name. He throws Satoru’s legs over his shoulders once he’s breathing a little more evenly, sitting back on his haunches to drag his friend’s lower half up off the bed entirely; he supports him with his arms around Satoru’s waist, one hand migrating to pinch and roll at a nipple as his tongue goes to start pressing inside of him, something greedy boiling over in Suguru as he wonders if he could make Satoru cum just like this.
Satoru gets louder with every flick of Suguru’s tongue, how easily he handles him to get him into the position he wants Satoru in. If this was Suguru at his most inexperienced, Satoru can’t help but wonder what he’ll be like when he’s even more confident– when he knew exactly how to make Satoru tick. He selfishly hopes that he’ll get even more of this to reach that point, eager to keep Suguru all to himself. He repeats Suguru’s name under his breath, almost possessive, like he can whisper it enough to claim him.
It doesn’t take much for Satoru to devolve into a whining mess, fingers twisting and releasing the bedsheets underneath him as he squirms.
“Fingers, Sugu,” he pants, his voice pitchy and desperate. “Need you… inside.”
Suguru pulls back at that, staring down at Satoru with wide eyes; he seems surprised, like he’s caught himself being selfish, some of his nervousness returning as he settles Satoru’s hips back down onto the mattress and reaches for the lube again.
“Whatever you want, sweetheart,” he says as he starts to slide one inside, going slow now. He hoped it wasn’t too harsh of a contrast to his overeager tongue, but the last thing he wants to do is hurt Satoru. He drinks up his expressions, the way he squeezes around the digit as Suguru sinks it into him, his free hand smoothing across Satoru’s hip and thigh.
“How many?” He asks lowly, once the first finger has bottomed out inside of him. He eases it back before pushing back in, curling it in the process, savoring just how soft his walls are, how warm he is inside. Suguru presses his own hard cock against Satoru’s inner thigh at the feeling, imagining just how good he’ll feel wrapped around it.
“T-two,” he sighs out with relief at finally feeling Suguru’s finger inside. It’s not enough, but he’s eager to let Suguru take his time, find his rhythm until he inevitably has Satoru falling apart underneath him. He could calm himself, keep patient and not rush; no matter how his thighs trembled with his want for more, how his cock twitches and aches.
“...and then curl them up, just a little further back,” he instructs, leading him towards that sensitive spot inside him.
Suguru keeps working his finger in and out of Satoru for a few more moments, his hesitancy returning, before he’s pulling out and slowly pressing two into him; he’s a bit entranced at watching them get swallowed down, the way Satoru twitches and squeezes around them. He sits once they’re pressed fully inside, wiggling them around a little bit, before he’s doing as Satoru told him and curling them up into his walls.
“Like this?” He asks softly, finally glancing up from where his hand is laid to glance at Satoru’s flushed face. He looks so pretty like this, flushed pink and panting softly; Suguru can’t help leaning in to press a few shy kisses to his cheek, the corner of his lips. He looks better than he ever could have imagined on his own.
Satoru nods as he rocks his hips forward, trying to help better the angle as Suguru works him open. His head swims thinking about more, about how good Suguru will feel inside him, the noises he might make. His imagination gets away from him until Suguru’s fingers graze that bundle of nerves, drawing a sharp gasp from him as he immediately rolls his hips back into it.
“Right there,” he hisses, another brush of Suguru’s fingers sending a shock through him, up his spine, leaving goosebumps trailing up his arms. His cock gives a hard twitch, practically aching as it hangs uselessly between his legs. His voice has taken an almost frantic edge, already almost breathless from so little.
“Right there, Sugu, just like that.”
“Fuck, yeah, okay sweetheart,” Suguru chokes out, his own cock throbbing at the way Satoru had reacted. He tries to hold the right angle with his fingers, feeling out the small bundle of nerves hiding there as he makes an effort to bully his digits into it. He loves watching the way his spine curves, tracking the movement of his hips, nearly drooling on himself at just how thoroughly Satoru has started to fall apart.
His free hand slides from Satoru’s hip to his cock, wrapping his fingers around it to stroke him. He had seen the way it was twitching, and he can feel just how hard it’s throbbing against his palm. He tries to match the pace with his fingers, tries his best to remember how Satoru had touched him before he resorts to just stroking him how he’d stroke himself.
“That better? Feels good?”
Satoru’s only response is a punched-out noise; Suguru’s fingers pressing inside him and his hand wrapped around him leaving him practically winded. His voice, the pet name he’d used buzzes in Satoru’s head as he tries to hold himself together, already primed to cum again just from this much. He couldn’t help it, honestly, when Suguru was this eager to please. Normally he’d stop just before that point, save his orgasm, but he just can’t bring himself to do that now, not when he wanted to show Suguru just how well he was doing.
“If you keep going like this, I’ll–” Satoru cuts himself off with a deep moan pulled from his chest, Suguru pressing hard on his prostate enough to send a jolt through him that puts him right up against the edge.
Suguru curses under his breath when Satoru says that, his efforts doubling– tripling– at the thought he was about to make Satoru cum. He wanted to see it happen this time, wanted to single handedly be his undoing for a second time that night. It sent electricity through him, leaving him dizzy and panting despite his own cock sitting wholly neglected against his thigh, heavy and hard enough to hurt.
“Cum for me,” he groaned, leaning over Satoru enough to nip at his lower lip, his jawline, the insatiable urge to sink his teeth into his friend winning out in the moment. He panted along with Satoru; if Suguru didn’t know better, he thinks he could cum just from getting him off like this, the high that he gets from taking Satoru apart so thoroughly.
Those words send Satoru over the edge immediately, with a shaky whine as he lets go and spills over into Suguru’s hand, mumbling soft praises under his breath. Instead of the calmness he felt in the aftermath earlier, he’s filled with this almost feverish desperation as Suguru’s cock presses hard against his thigh. Any notions of slow and savoring were gone now, replaced by the overwhelming impatience that wins out in Satoru’s mind. He paws at Suguru– breath still trying to even out and heart racing.
“Need you inside me, right now,” he growls out, sounding far more pathetic than it does demanding.
Suguru’s breath catches at Satoru’s pitiful demand, his body staggering for a moment when he processes the request. He stares down at him, at the mess he made on himself, at the mess Suguru made of him like he was the single best thing he’s ever seen before in his life, before he gives a stilted nod and starts to fumble for the lube. He hisses as he spreads it over his cock, inching forward enough to crowd between Satoru’s thighs.
“Tell me if I hurt you,” he says softly, glancing up at Satoru for a moment before his eyes are back down on his hole as he starts to guide himself inside. Immediately, he’s gasping; a short, pleased sound at just how tight and warm Satoru felt as he began to slide inside. It was a bit of a wonder how he fit, with how small and tight Satoru’s hole both looks and feels, but the squeeze is delicious once his head is in. Suguru has to stop there for a bit, breathing solid and heavy through his nose as he adjusts to the feeling, putting all of his effort into not spilling inside of Satoru immediately with how overwhelming it all feels.
“Fuck–” Satoru whines, fumbling to hold onto to Suguru, something to anchor him as he presses inside. He holds his breath and forces himself to relax to ease the burn of the stretch. Suguru felt even bigger than he looked, and he hadn’t even taken all of him yet. It’s almost daunting; but the amazed look on Suguru’s face and his heavy breathing is so endearing that it makes Satoru’s heart flutter. It makes him want to push further, take all of Suguru so well and see how long he can last like this.
He puts all his focus into watching Suguru’s face– just how heavy-lidded his eyes had become, the flush across his cheeks, how his lips parted as he huffed out steady breaths. He looks like a dream, feels like one too. It’s almost too perfect to be real. Here he was, with his best friend between his legs, calling him sweetheart, asking him what feels good and making sure he’s okay so diligently. His stomach flips, and he doesn’t even try to keep himself from staring. Suguru was perfect, and the only word that plays on repeat in Satoru’s mind watching him is mine.
It takes more effort than Suguru thought it would to push in slow and steady, for his own sake and for Satoru’s. As much as he wants to bury himself to the hilt right off the bat, he doesn’t want to hurt him; he also doesn’t think he would last through that much movement right this second. He thought he had been relatively prepared and aware of what it would feel like to be inside of someone, but with Satoru he feels like he’s drowning. Each inch he sinks into him leaves him gasping softly, until finally he’s fully seated himself inside of his friend with a groan. All of the tension he was holding in himself melts with the sound as he sags down against Satoru, curling over him with a supporting arm resting near Satoru’s head.
“You okay? Still feels good?” He asks bashfully, that shyness creeping back in as he noses against Satoru’s cheek. Really, he wants a kiss; he wants to kiss Satoru until he feels soft in the head, wants to kiss him until he can’t breathe while he fucks him full. Suguru risks it with something chaste, surprisingly gentle despite the position they’re currently in.
Satoru dives into the kiss, turning it from chaste to something heated and claiming as he tentatively rolls his hips down as his answer to Suguru’s question. He doesn’t want to overwhelm Suguru, but he needs to move; the heavy, full feeling is almost too much on its own. He nips at Suguru’s lower lip before he dips his tongue past it, deepening the kiss and punctuating it with another roll of his hips, pulling back to gauge Suguru’s reaction.
“Too much?” he asks softly, doing his best to keep still despite how his hips twitch, wanting to move more.
Suguru whines when Satoru rolls his hips, his own stuttering to thrust up into him despite how borderline overwhelming it was. He blames a good portion of it on the fact that it’s Satoru he’s inside of, that that little dream of his somehow was miraculously obtained. He’d dreamed of this a dozen times over, but nothing would ever compare to the reality of his tight heat, of how he feels squeezing and clenching down around him like he’s trying to choke his dick. Suguru tries to keep up with the kisses, but every time Satoru rolls his hips his brain stalls out and he freezes, breathing hard when his balls tighten and he threatens to spill.
“You feel way too fucking good,” Suguru manages to choke out at Satoru’s question, his forehead dropping down to grind against Satoru’s. He still does his best though; he wants this to be as good for Satoru as it is for him, after all. He gives a tentative thrust, a little harder than his previous attempts. Something that drags back before he’s bullying his way back inside, choking a pitiful sound out of him in the process. He repeats it, trying to make it up to a rhythm, a steady rock against Satoru as Suguru’s hands grip his hips hard enough to bruise.
It’s endearing, the way that Suguru tries his hardest to pick up a rhythm despite how close he seems to be already. It would be so easy, Satoru thinks, to turn the tide here, move like how he wants to and watch Suguru be the one to fall apart this time. He’s not sure that he cares that it would end too quick; it’s more than worth it in his opinion, to see the look on Suguru’s face when Satoru takes the reins, fucks him properly until he’s seeing stars.
The thought of it emboldens Satoru– has a mischievous smile pulling up the sides of his lips as he shifts his body weight forward so their positions are swapped, with Satoru settling on top of Suguru, straddling him. He rocks forward, no longer trying to hold back, the new angle almost winding him with just how big Suguru feels inside. He presses a firm hand to Suguru’s chest as he moves exactly how he wants to, gaze fixed on Suguru’s expression.
A startled noise chokes its way out of Suguru when Satoru flips their positions, as he falls inelegantly backwards onto the mattress to stare up at him in surprise. A look of horror crosses his features as his hands go straight for Satoru’s hips, trying and failing to slow his pace, get a grip on him, anything that isn’t going to immediately tip him over the edge. He swears loudly as Satoru rides him, his back bowing from the pleasure as he watches the perfect way that he moves on top of him, mesmerized. He feels too damn good like this, the pace unforgiving when it comes to his sensitivity and inexperience, but fuck if it doesn’t feel like heaven.
“S-Satoru, wait, fuck, I’m gonna–” he manages to spit out through his grit teeth, before his finish barrels into him with a gasp and a cry of Satoru’s name. His hands drag Satoru down onto him until he’s fully seated, his hips jerking and twitching as Suguru empties himself entirely inside of him with a guttural sound. It leaves him breathless, staring wide-eyed at Satoru’s all-too-pleased expression as he watches him. He knows that he did it on purpose; he’s embarrassed, his face flushed red enough to boil as he brings his hands up to hide behind them, groaning into his palms as his cock twitches desperately with over-sensitivity as Satoru milks him. Did Satoru get bored? Was it bad, and that’s why he pushed him over the edge so fast? Suguru could cry, really, from just how embarrassed he feels at the moment.
Satoru pries Suguru’s hands away from his face with a satisfied smile, making no hurry to move yet, content to let Suguru stay inside of him for as long as possible.
“Don’t hide from me,” he laughs softly, stroking Suguru’s cheek with his thumb when he finally pulls his hands away fully. His face was so red, flushed darker than Satoru thinks he’s ever seen it. He pitches forward then, to plant kisses on his cheeks and nose as a sort of apology for going overboard.
“You did so well,” he says softly, pressing a kiss to Suguru’s lips that is deeper, more poignant. He makes a point to spend time there, thumb still stroking at his cheek, like maybe it could dissolve some of that embarrassment he was feeling. He draws back slow, only to whisper more praises against his lips. He swipes stray strands out of Suguru’s face, tucks them behind his ears, just like he’d done earlier. He takes in the sight of Suguru like this, so perfect.
It’s impossible for Suguru to meet Satoru’s eyes, even if he does finally let him tug his hands away from his face. He feels a bit peeved really, that he did that; he’s still paranoid that it was bad and Satoru was looking for an easy way out, but the overwhelming amount of affection and reassurance he’s getting right now tries to tell him otherwise at least. He chews on his lip instead, just barely letting himself lean into the attention he’s being showered with to soak it up, a bit sad at the thought that after tonight he may not get it again.
“Y-you don’t have to lie,” he laments quietly, finally working up the courage to look up at Satoru’s face. And, oh, his smile is nearly blinding. He wishes he would kiss him again, kiss him stupid, kiss him like he loved him, like it was more than just a way to make money. Sure, the camera hadn’t been on this time, but this was practice, since apparently Suguru really needed it. The longing inside of him ached though, straight through the center of his chest like bad reflux. “I’m sorry I came so fast, I-I’ll try to… not, tomorrow.”
“I’m not lying,” Satoru says with a playful swat to Suguru’s cheek. Not hard at all, just enough to knock him out of whatever rhetoric was spinning through his head right now. “Do you know me? If it was bad, I’d tell you.”
He smiles, settling down from pretending to be offended into something calmer, more reassuring. He rests against Suguru’s chest, letting his body heat seep into Suguru’s skin. He hopes that he can stay here for a while before they part; this was always the part he wanted the most, and what he got the least when it came to all his casual flings. This part, where he can feel truly… wanted, maybe? He can’t pinpoint the exact feeling he craves. Worthy enough to keep around in the aftermath, feel taken care of. Something like that.
“My fault that it ended too early, really. Just wanted to make it memorable,” he laughs a bit, tracing a line down Suguru’s chest before he lets his hand settle there, feeling the rise and fall of Suguru’s breathing under his palm.
“Was it everything you thought it would be?”
“Better,” Suguru sighs out, just barely biting back the rest of his thought; because it was you. He doesn’t want to make it awkward though, no more awkward than losing his virginity to his best friend already could be. Instead he tries to settle, silently thankful that Satoru hasn’t left yet, as Suguru slowly lets his arms wrap around him to hold him to his chest. He lets his fingers wander slowly, walking across his shoulders, tracing along his spine, aimless patterns and letters and shapes that he doesn’t think about while drawing on him.
“You know, we could always market the video toward… y’know,” Suguru starts, then his embarrassment catches up to him. He gestures vaguely toward himself over Satoru’s shoulder, like that would explain things entirely. “I-I feel like people could be into that, or– or something. Maybe?”
“Ah,” Satoru gets it, and can’t stifle the giggle that leaves him when he thinks about it for a second. “Perfect, actually. I can see it now: Hot Virgin Stud Plows Slutty Twink With His 8 Inch Cock.”
He buries his face into Suguru’s chest, laughter erupting and muffled, at the absurdity of the situation. At everything, but mostly as a distraction from the pang of emotion that had hit him at the mention of the video. Nerves, maybe? He can’t quite distinguish it, so he pushes it to the side, lets it all dissolve away with his laughter as he enjoys the time he can still spend here with Suguru, just like this.
They’d get to do this again. And it will be even better. Satoru’s skin buzzes at the thought.
“Oh, god, Satoru,” Suguru chokes out, but even he can’t help but laugh at the title offer. It was so cringey, but joking around with him was helping with his nerves, so he figured he would take what he could where he could get it for now.
“Sexy twink steals roommate’s virginity,” Suguru chokes out around his own laughter, even if he’s cringing while he says it. In a very selfish act, he cranes his neck enough to bury it in Satoru’s hair, peppering several kisses across him as he does. “We can lie a little bit, for the sake of more money. I’ll face the public humiliation for it.”
Suguru lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’s been holding for hours at this point, as he sags back into the sheets. His hand takes the place of his face in Satoru’s hair, carding through the fluffy locks with a pleased sound rolling from deep in his chest, his eyes closing as he lets himself relax. It felt nice, almost better than the sex itself, to just lay like this with Satoru and hold him. He wishes it would never end.
“So, I have a really stupid idea.”
“Oh yeah?” Satoru hums, his brain still caught up on Suguru calling him sexy, even if it was in a cringey porn title context. It makes everything feel like maybe for Suguru this wasn’t just opportunistic, or something to go along with out of pure necessity for practice for their scheme. Maybe, just maybe, Suguru had thought about it before, too. It’s silly, that's what Satoru gets stuck on in the moment.
“And what’s that?”
“So, uh… I have a download, for that movie you wanted to go see in theaters that we missed,” Suguru starts, his tone turning bashful. “Maybe we could order some burgers, and c-cuddle, and watch it?” He tries to sound casual, he really does, but it doesn’t stop the way he stutters on the word cuddle. He tenses up as he asks, nervous about Satoru refusing and just going to bed, about the illusion of it all ending too soon. He knows it’s stupid to be spending money, let alone on something as frivolous as take out food, but Suguru has a hope and a dream, and he’s more than willing to bet his savings on it.
Satoru’s stomach flips at the offer, at the cute way that Suguru stutters when he says that they could cuddle, and just how good it sounds to him to spend the rest of the night in Suguru’s arms.
“Sounds perfect.”
Bright light shines through their living room window, right in Satoru’s eyes as he wakes up, still clinging to Suguru on the couch in the same spot he’d been in the night before. He doesn’t get up. He stays there, turns his head out of the light to study Suguru’s face– still snoozing comfortably, hair loose from sleeping on it, pieces straying into his face out of the bun he’d put it in. He looked so peaceful like that. Satoru can’t help but admire him for a minute, if not longer than that before he settles back in, content to stay here a little longer and wait for Suguru to wake up.
It settles in the longer he stays there, the logistics of what they needed to do today. Setting up wouldn’t take too long, sure… but waiting for the chance to touch Suguru like that again might be what takes him out. Maybe it was weird to be looking forward to it the way he was. Or maybe it was kind of unavoidable, given the circumstances. Maybe Suguru would wanna spend another night like last night with him again, afterwards. He can only hope.
Suguru takes his time waking up. Even with the sun in his eyes, he wants to linger; there’s a comfortable weight against his chest, the kind his brain fixates on every time he exhales and it presses down on him. It’s soothing to feel it there, leaving his body lax and pliant and easy as it slowly wakes with his mind. He isn’t sure what the weight is until he eventually blinks his eyes open to peer down at his chest, and he does a double take when he does. He thinks it has to be a dream, with Satoru splayed out against him, their legs knotted up and his clear eyes peering up at him like he’s really thinking about something, dazed with his thoughts.
“G’morning,” Suguru grunts out regardless though, figuring if this is a dream he does not want to wake up for a long, long time. His head drops back against the armrest of the couch with a soft thunk as his eyes fall closed again. His arms reach to curl around Satoru’s torso, tug him in a little closer to his chest, squeezing him down against himself with a pleased sigh that his whole body decompresses with.
“‘Morning,” Satoru repeats back. It’s soft and sleepy, eyes fluttering closed like he can pretend that he just woke up, too– like he hadn’t been staring for probably more than 10 minutes like a weirdo.
He just can’t get it out of his mind. Last night had been amazing, and he wanted more– more of seeing Suguru like that, and like this, too. It’s a want that settles somewhere deep in his stomach, alongside all the butterflies, and makes him feel as conflicted as he does euphoric. Was he reading way too deeply into this? Suguru had said that it was okay, that he trusted Satoru– would feelings like this breach that? Suguru trusted Satoru to be normal and casual about all this. It didn’t have to be a big deal, but how he was feeling now in the wake of it was certainly not normal or casual.
Suguru’s grip around Satoru tightens enough for him to roll over and drag him with him in the process. He shifts enough to bury his face down into Satoru’s hair, inhaling deeply like he’s trying to commit the scent of his shampoo to his memory. Citrus and something sweet, a little cloying but in a way he hoped never went away; he wanted to be tailed by the smell throughout his day, a little reminder of waking up next to him and the luxury of getting to do this in the first place.
His mind is still slow to wake up, wanting to cling to sleep the way he’s currently clinging to Satoru like he’s never going to let go of it. He couldn’t be more thankful for Satoru’s parents– more specifically, their money– for buying them such a nice couch. Big enough to fit the both of them, soft enough to be a bed. Maybe he could convince Satoru to just lay here the whole day with him, obligations and plans be damned.
“Lets just stay here for today,” he hums, tilting his face out of Satoru’s hair to rest his cheek there instead.
Satoru really considers it. It sounds like the perfect day, really, to stay here on the couch all day with Suguru.
“As tempting as that is, we have something we have to do today,” Satoru shifts up to prop himself up on his arms, still staying tangled up with Suguru for as long as possible. “‘Cause we’re gonna be homeless if we don’t.”
Before he even realizes what he’s doing, he leans forward to press his lips against Suguru’s. He kisses him like it’s the most normal thing in the world to do, and only half-way through does he second guess himself. It seemed perfectly normal to kiss him during their… practice round, but was it weird to do it now? He draws back a little hesitant, trying to subtly gauge Suguru’s reaction and play it off if he needed to.
It’s startling at first for Suguru to feel him press against his lips, his eyes going wide before he’s sighing and returning the kiss. He whines softly in the back of his throat when Satoru pulls back, a sleepy pout on his face before he’s reaching a hand up to cup his friend’s cheek and pull him back in for another. It’s more insistent this time, not heated but still greedy as he sinks into it.
“Don’t short me first thing in the morning,” he mumbles before pressing a final, chaste kiss to his lips. It made him nervous but elated that Satoru had kissed him, the thought that maybe this was more than just financial gain circling his head as he offers his friend a shy smile. At the least, it made Suguru substantially less stressed about their plans for the day, if Satoru was already stealing kisses first thing in the morning.
“Plenty more where that came from,” Satoru jokes as he finally reluctantly peels himself from Suguru, an almost disappointed sigh leaving him as he does so. He’s not sure where to even start off the day– he can admit that he’s eager to pass time, selfishly looking forward to what the rest of the day holds. There’s setting up to do as well as prep, but he figures he could at least start off with breakfast first.
“Hungry?”
He pads into the kitchen to peruse the fridge. Not much to speak of, but there were at least eggs, and probably more that he could find if he dug hard in the cabinets. His feet hit their discarded shirts that litter the floor, prompting flashbacks to the night before. He presses his palm to his cheek, warm and getting warmer by the second. Between this feeling and the goodmorning kiss, Satoru fears he’s treading into dangerous territory.
“Mmn–” Suguru grunts out an affirmative, rolling to watch Satoru’s retreating back for a few moments before he’s resolutely dragging himself up and after him. He loiters in the threshold, watching the light laze its way from their living room windows into the kitchen, the places and contours it highlighted on Satoru’s body as he stood in the center of the room. It’s instinctual for Suguru to slide into the spot right behind him, his arms wrapping around his waist while his face buries itself into the warm skin at the back of his neck. Suguru’s still half-asleep at this point, his eyes barely opened, his mind still transfixed on the almost skittish way that Satoru had kissed him before he got off the couch.
It felt like being given permission. Suguru fully intended to take advantage of the open invitation he saw in it, as he nosed across Satoru’s nape to the side of his neck.
“Want me to do it?” He mumbles softly, right next to Satoru’s ear, his voice still gravelly from sleep. “Make some rice, have it with egg. Should still have some soy sauce to top it off. Not bad for a breakfast.”
Heat creeps up Satoru’s neck when Suguru embraces him, hoping that Suguru doesn’t notice that warmth as he nuzzles against his neck. This felt entirely different than yesterday. More intimate and less frantic, unrushed and almost tender. There wasn’t an ulterior motive behind it, no urgent need lurking. Just arms wrapped around him tightly, and Suguru’s breath close to his ear as he speaks. It takes Satoru a minute to even process what he’d said, unsure if he should pinch himself and make sure that he was really awake. What exactly was happening here?
“Go ahead,” Satoru stammers out, surprised at just how off-guard he sounds when he speaks. He squeezes Suguru’s hands where they’re settled at his waist, before he slips away to start prepping coffee.
“You’re… uh, way better at that than me.”
Nerves go through Suguru when Satoru pulls away, having made a comfortable home crowded against his back. All at once he’s worried he’s overstepped, that he’s crossed some invisible line Satoru had laid down despite the kiss on the couch. He clears his throat as he hangs in the empty space Satoru had previously occupied, listening to the sounds of him prepping the coffee maker, the soft chime of him retrieving mugs and sugar and cream.
“You aren’t bad at it,” Suguru counters, finally managing to unfreeze himself and move to the fridge. He runs on autopilot as he gets out eggs, starts the rice maker, gets down bowls for the both of them, almost shy in the way he can’t bring himself to look at Satoru. He’s almost scared of what he might find looking back at him, instead focusing on their spice cabinet and the dwindling amount of soy sauce left in the bottle he finds there. “I like your eggs. I like when you cook.” I like you in general. Love, even.
“Bullshit,” Satoru laughs out loud over the sound of the coffee maker starting up. “Half the time I burn them. The other half though… I guess I’m alright.”
There’s a smile still lingering as he watches Suguru work. While he’s occupied, it’s the perfect chance for Satoru to steal a few glances– his eyes drift to watch the way the muscles in Suguru’s back and shoulders ripple as he cooks, the way he focuses so intently on what he’s doing, how absolutely fucking perfect his side profile is. He’d been looking at Suguru for years. But this was… not the same. Maybe it was the warm morning light filtering through the kitchen window, or maybe, Satoru thinks, he just wasn’t looking this closely before. Hadn’t let himself.
“Are you excited?” Satoru asks point blank, eyes fixed on Suguru still, waiting for him to finish what he’s doing. “For later.”
It’s probably a weird question. It’s probably weird that he’s asking it. But Satoru really doesn’t care.
The question startles Suguru, his body tensing up immediately as heat falls over his face. He hadn’t expected it– at least, not so point blank. It drags up flash images of the night prior in his mind's eye, the phantom imitation of touch across his body, like a live wire under his skin going red hot. He clears his throat again like it will help him keep his cool.
“I’m nervous,” he admits, his voice lower than he meant for it to be as the rice cooker sings to show it’s finished. He immediately takes to scooping rice into their bowls, putting fried eggs with runny yolks over top the little mounds. “Don’t want to cut the video too short. But… I’m excited.”
“Yeah?” Satoru hums, daring to let his fingers trace up Suguru’s arm. Just a fleeting touch. It doesn’t go unnoticed the way that Suguru tenses up, the flush that crops up across his cheeks at the mention. It’s a rush. Satoru can’t help but want to tease him a little when he sees it– make sure that Suguru is looking forward to it just as much as Satoru is himself.
“Good. Don’t be nervous. It’s just me.”
He mixes cream and far too much sugar into his coffee and takes a sip while Suguru finishes up plating their breakfast. It’s a mirrored reflection of what he’s trying to repeat in his mind as well, admittedly a little nervous as well. Don’t be nervous. It’s just Suguru. Nerves twist in his stomach regardless.
“We’ll go slow.”
Suguru hums, even if it breaks slightly at the touch Satoru delivers to his arm. It makes him jump, his eyes flitting to watch the way his fingers brush over his skin, embers already stoking in his belly. He focuses on carrying their bowls and some condiments to the small table just shy of the kitchen, swallowing thick around his nerves as he lets Satoru’s words repeat in his head. How little he knows, that he’s so nervous because it’s Satoru.
“I seem to remember you being impatient,” Suguru teases at him, doubling back to get his own coffee from the machine. There’s a slight tremor in his hands, revealed only in the way the brew ripples in his mug after he’s poured it. He takes a steaming sip, wincing at the way it scalds his tongue, before he’s turning and heading back for the table. “Why do I have the feeling it won’t be slow at all?”
Suguru’s teasing emboldens Suguru, has him clicking his tongue and mulling over the perfect response in his head. He takes a slow sip of his coffee when it finally hits him, a mischievous smile turning up the corners of his lips as he leans in close to the table, like he’s sharing a secret.
“I know it might be hard to believe, but I really like being told what to do,” he hums, trying his best to keep serious, and not laugh. It was so easy to play at sexy and smooth with strangers, but with Suguru… it almost makes him feel a bit silly. But knowing that being so forward will flush Suguru’s face further, maybe even have him stammering and speechless… it helps him collect himself.
“If you want it slow, then make me.”
Suguru chokes on his own coffee at that, his eyes blowing wide before he buries his head into his arm while he dissolves into a coughing fit. When he comes back up for air there are tears hiding in the corner of his eyes. He wipes at his face, which has gone a deep shade of red, and he stares down into his own bowl of food before he pierces a yoke and starts to play with it.
“Duly noted,” Suguru manages to get out, his own voice going shy as he visibly flusters under all of Satoru’s attention. He passes a glance toward his coffee, takes a sip in lieu of his breakfast, before he’s back to playing with his food. His stomach feels like it’s in knots, and hearing Satoru say that with as much confidence as he did left his cock swelling in his sweatpants.
“What… what else do you like?” He asks into the lip of his mug, finally forcing himself to look at Satoru from over the table; gaze lidded, something hungry hiding underneath his anxieties as he asks. He wants to know just how accurate his fantasies have been all this time.
Satoru is rather proud of himself at the response that he got from Suguru, admiring just how cute he was when he was so flustered. But Suguru’s question flusters him right back, has him shifting in his chair and clearing his own throat. His head feels a bit swimmy; he knows what he likes, sure, but how could he put that eloquently? Over breakfast? He almost doesn’t want to show his cards upfront, make Suguru learn by doing, instead.
“I liked it when you carried me out of here last night, that was hot,” he says, taking a pause as he finally takes a bite of his food. He thinks more in terms of what he wants Suguru to do, starting small and unintimidating, with what he’d like most.
“Hickies. Anywhere, everywhere. As many as you want to leave,” he tapers off almost timidly, hoping he’s not being presumptuous, assuming that Suguru would want to mark him like that.
“I like to look at them the next day.”
“Thank god,” Suguru mumbles softly before taking a bite himself, he chews and swallows before he continues, though he keeps his eyes pointedly down on his food as he does. “I wanted to, but I didn’t know how to… ask, I guess.”
Another shoveled bite, as he thinks over Satoru’s preferences. Both he could easily do, though his fantasies about picking Satoru up and fucking him against the wall might be a little overzealous. At least while he’s still getting the hang of things; he figures he can come back to it at a later time. If they’re still filming together, that is; as eager as the good morning kiss had made Suguru, he doesn’t want to charge ahead under assumptions. He wants Satoru to like him back, but fuck he doesn’t want to make things awkward, especially before they even film anything. He doesn’t even want to think about how uncomfortable it would be if he tried to confess and got rejected, and then they had to turn around and have sex on camera. He needs to prioritize here, and keeping a roof over their heads was much more important than his feelings.
“Anything I should do differently for this? Any no’s, any critiques?”
Satoru ponders it seriously for a minute. He could think of a few hard no’s for anyone else, but Suguru? He really can’t think of a single thing that he’s opposed to. Instead, he focuses on Suguru’s words, his mention that he wanted to leave marks, didn’t know how to ask.
“I don’t have any no’s that I can think of,” he starts. He stretches his foot forward under the table enough that he can slide it up Suguru’s calf.
“So… the next time you want to do something, you don’t need to ask. Just do it.”
Suguru jumps visibly at the feeling of Satoru’s foot running up his leg, not expecting the contact as he glances under the table at it. He glances back up at Satoru afterwards, struck a little bit dumb and an insane amount horny. Just do it. He almost felt like that wasn’t safe, it makes him nervous for his other encounters if he approached every situation with that mindset, but selfishly?
Selfishly, Suguru can’t help just how satisfying it is to hear. That Satoru trusts him enough to give him free reign, that he didn’t have to ask, that he could just do whatever came to mind. He hears blood rushing in his ears as he stares at Satoru a bit like he’s starving, immediately drawn to the idea of bending him over the kitchen table and taking him right there, but he has enough self restraint to not get ahead of himself; today was about filming. He could be patient.
“There’s nothing? Nothing at all?” He asks, forcing wariness into his tone. A hand descends to his lap to squeeze his cock through his sweatpants, shifting in his seat in an attempt to subtly adjust himself in the process. “You’re okay with me doing anything to you?”
It sends a wave of heat through Satoru; the almost hungry way that Suguru is looking at him now, as well as the way that Satoru watches him adjust himself in his seat. He’d clearly really liked the idea of having no limit, despite the hesitant lilt of his voice when he’d asked again, just to make sure. With just how electric Satoru feels right now, he’s not sure how he’s going to pass the rest of the day before he’s able to touch Suguru again. He ignores the food in front of him, mind completely elsewhere, much more interested in what else Suguru had to say.
“Nope, nothing. Anything you want,” he says, his foot still moving slowly against Suguru’s calf in mindless motions.
“Whenever you want, too. Shouldn’t take long to set up.”
“How long?” Surugu questions immediately, a hint of over-eagerness shining through as he stretches his leg further out under the table, leaning it into Satoru’s foot. He’s chewing on his lip now, his own food forgotten about as his fingers fuss together in his lap; he’s gauging just how much weight the table could handle, if it’s sturdy enough or if he might break it, the distance to the large bottle of lube still sitting feet away on the kitchen counter.
“It’ll only take a couple of minutes to set up the tripod, get the filming angle right,” Satoru answers quickly. There’s an excited edge to his voice, satisfied with how quickly Suguru had jumped at the opportunity.
“Your room or mine?”
“Whichever’s cleaner?” Suguru offers back, already moving to stand from his chair. He abandons the table as it is, breakfast completely forgotten now as he starts toward the hallway, poking his head into both of their rooms before he’s slipping into his own and beginning to tidy up anything out of place. He calls a brief mine over his shoulder to Satoru in the process, collecting clothes into his hamper and straightening up his desk. Should he put on music? Is that a normal thing to do when you’re about to film a porno with someone? Would that be… weird?
He forgoes the music ultimately, wringing his hands together in the middle of his room instead as he confronts the fact that it is happening now. His dick is still hard in his sweats, and his hands are a little clammy, and above all else he hopes he can forget that the camera is even there in the first place; if he can get it out of his mind, then things should go fine.
Satoru follows behind quickly, grabbing the lube from the kitchen counter and the tripod from his room before he’s depositing both on Suguru’s dresser. He sets up the tripod as fast as he can, switches on the ring light and adjusts the position until the bed is perfectly in frame. He’s done setting up in record time, and he goes ahead and hits the record button– he could edit out any talking they do in the beginning, although he has a feeling there won’t be very much of that.
He doesn’t look back, just turns heels straight to Suguru where he’s standing. He looks him over, eyes lingering on how hard Suguru is already in his pants. Without hesitation his hand is at the back of Suguru's neck, pulling him into a desperate kiss.
The tension in Suguru’s body from nerves dissipates when Satoru grabs him and pulls him in. He melts into the kiss, letting his want speak for itself as he presses his tongue into Satoru’s mouth with a breathy noise. His hands are immediately on his hips, dragging him forward enough to grind into his hip, savoring the relief the friction offers him in the process.
He backs him toward the bed until he can push Satoru down onto the neat sheets, folding at the waist to follow him down as he goes. He doesn’t want to break the kiss, doesn’t ever want to stop tasting Satoru on his tongue, but as his thoughts circle around in his head about how he could do anything he wanted, he can’t help but want to bite him. He pulls back slow, dragging his lips down to Satoru’s throat before he does just that; sinks his teeth into him, sucking hard and clumsy at the skin just to see what kind of sound Satoru might make for him.
Satoru lets out a whine when Suguru bites him, the sharp sensation sending what little blood he had left in his head rushing lower as he wonders just how many marks he might be wearing after everything is said and done. He rolls his head, offers Suguru more skin to nip at and tries his best not to say Suguru’s name under his breath, even if he wants to. He figures that he could deal with his own name being known by everyone who will watch the video they’re making… but something possessive flares up low in his belly at anyone knowing Suguru’s.
He doesn’t plan on giving directions this time; more than eager to see where Suguru goes with it, show him where exactly his mind had gone when Satoru told him that he had permission to do whatever he wanted.
It’s so satisfying for Suguru to bite and suck at Satoru’s throat, to pull back enough to see the dark bruise he’s created on him. It makes him possessive in his own right, to bask in leaving a claim on Satoru that will last for days. He makes a point to leave them above his shirt collar, the more visible the better; he can’t bring himself to stop until there’s too many for him to bother counting on his pale skin.
“Taste so good,” he mumbles out at one point when he’s resurfaced from another hickey. He thinks he’s finally getting the hang of it, the right pressure, the appropriate amount of sucking for both of them to enjoy. He leans back enough to run his fingers over them, breaking the line of spit that kept them connected in the process.
Satoru is very glad that he told Suguru to leave marks, seeing just how enthusiastic he was about making them now, placing them as conspicuously as he possibly could. Satoru has no intention of trying to hide them anyway, excited even to look at them later, even better if he can catch Suguru looking at them too. It quenches at least a little bit of that part of him that wants to feel claimed; wants to feel like maybe this was more than just making money, a thought that he tamps down in the moment. He couldn’t think too much about that now, not while he was underneath Suguru like this, determined to enjoy it in the moment as much as possible.
He grinds down against Suguru’s knee that’s settled between his legs, restless and eagerly searching out some kind of relief. Suguru hadn’t been too far off with what he’s said earlier– Satoru is even more impatient than he thought he’d be, and slow seems almost impossible.
Suguru slides a hand down to palm at Satoru when he feels him shifting and grinding under him, groaning when he feels just how hard he is. It felt so satisfying to see him already getting needy, his ego growing with every roll of Satoru’s hips into him. Suguru’s hands fumble as he starts to tug at his clothes, pushing Satoru’s shirt up before he starts to tug down his pants and boxers, trailing messy kisses down his chest and stomach as he does.
“Wanna make you cum before I fuck you,” Suguru says into his hip, slowly lowering himself down onto his knees at the edge of the bed. He sucks yet another bruise just shy of Satoru’s v-line as he closes a hand around his cock, his starting pace almost teasing in how slow it is. He wants to watch him squirm a little more, wants to see if he can get him to beg for it before he gives it to him.
Arching up into the touch, Satoru pants as he struggles to control his breathing and keep steady. The view of Suguru's mouth at his hip bone, the feeling of his fingers wrapped around his cock– it’s maddening. He really can’t even recall the last time he’d been this worked up; this sensitive to every little touch, almost pitiful in his need as he whines and tries to thrust up into Suguru’s slow hand.
He rolls his hips, seeking out the perfect rhythm, hoping that Suguru will match the pace with his hand.
Suguru drags his lips across Satoru’s skin until he’s mouthing at the base of his cock, his tongue sliding out to run up the length of him with a throaty noise. He can taste the warmth of his skin as much as he can see the way his cock has flushed; he’s eager as he swallows Satoru down, humming softly as he hollows his cheeks out and starts to bob his head.
He doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of this; even if he’s inexperienced, he knows how he likes to touch himself, even more he remembers what he liked that Satoru did to him last night. He pulls up slowly, pressing his tongue into the underside of his cock, seeking out the vein there just to feel the way it throbs against him before he sucks at his tip with a pleased noise. He stares up at Satoru as he does, his eyes lidded and satisfied as he watches his reactions, trying to pay attention to anything that gets a particularly good response.
It’s incredible how good Suguru looks like this, his pretty eyes growing glassy and wet when he starts to put in more effort, taking Satoru into his throat after he’s satisfied with all his teasing. It’s still startling, just how easily Suguru can take him like that; and this time Satoru is more content to just watch him. He can’t resist the temptation to tug at Suguru’s hair tie, though, watching his long black hair fan out around his shoulders.
“Look so perfect like this,” Satoru whispers as he gathers up the strands in his hand to keep it out of the way, intertwining his fingers through it at the nape of Suguru’s neck.
Suguru preens at the praise, his face flushed as he swallows Satoru down fully like it might prove his words true. He buries his nose in the trimmed thatch of hair at the base of his cock, watching him through his eyelashes as he tries to moan around him. Suguru is quickly learning he likes the weight of Satoru’s cock down his throat, the ache in his jaw, the hazy feeling in his head when he sucks him off. He holds himself there until he needs to breathe, pulling back with a gasp and a few short coughs, spit drooling down his chin as he goes to wipe at it.
“Can be rougher,” Suguru rasps to him, swallowing thickly before he’s feeding Satoru’s cock back into his mouth, bobbing against him before burying him to the hilt in his throat once more.
“Yeah?”
Satoru doesn’t waste any time tightening his grip on Suguru’s hair to keep him right where he wants him, giving a sharp thrust up. It’s quick and almost tentative so he can gauge Suguru’s reaction, watch for any sign of discomfort on his face before he repeats the same motion again, this time pressing down the heel of his hand against the nape of Suguru’s neck just a bit. He curses under his breath as Suguru’s throat tightens around him, fingers flexing in his hair as he rolls his hips again before relenting so that he can take a breath if he needs to.
“So good for me,” he hums. Suguru seemed to have liked his earlier praise, and it made Satoru want to shower him with even more, until his whole body was flushed the same pretty shade of red that had fallen across his face.
A choked-off moan leaves Suguru when Satoru thrusts into his throat, his eyes rolling back in his skull before he’s putting effort into training them back on his friend’s face. He lets his jaw hang loose as Satoru holds him in place, his hands settling against his thighs to steady himself where he kneels.
It sends a jolt of pleasure through Suguru every time Satoru’s hips roll up into him, the involuntary way his throat squeezes around his cock when he plunges in like it’s trying to milk him. The praise only makes him harder, straining to stay present enough to catch it every time it leaves Satoru’s mouth despite the want to sink into the quiet of his mind as he lets himself be used. He can’t help the way his hand sinks down to his lap, at first simply squeezing and palming his cock through his sweatpants; it doesn’t take very long for Suguru to pull it free though, stroking himself in pace with Satoru. It makes him whiny, as he hums and moans and whimpers around the cock in his throat, squirming as much as Satoru’s grip will allow.
The feeling of Suguru’s moan around Satoru buried deep in his throat sets him on edge, the roll of his hips growing fast until both of his hands are in Suguru’s hair and his thrusts grow more erratic by the second. The noises he makes are loud– not at all for the camera he remembers is rolling but for Suguru, so that he can hear just how good he feels right now. His head tips back onto the bed despite how much he wants to keep watching Suguru, the tears that are welling up in his eyes and the way he strokes himself while he sucks Satoru off so perfectly.
“So close, just–” Satoru cuts his words short, about to tip over the edge as he delivers a few more sharp thrusts with heavy breaths. He gives Suguru’s hair a hard tug to pull him off, just in time to make a mess of Suguru’s pretty face.
Suguru gasps as Satoru spills over his face, just barely managing to close his eyes in time to avoid any of his cum getting into them. He pants on his knees, his hand no longer pumping over his cock as Suguru catches his breath and hesitantly blinks an eye up at him. He makes a show of licking his lips and swallowing, savoring the bitter saltiness he finds there before he’s cracking a self-satisfied smile.
“Feel so good down my throat,” he rasps out, his voice worn and rough. He’s content to stay where he is, let Satoru direct him for the time being; after all, he might want to get a close up shot of the mess he made across his face, and he’d hate to ruin the opportunity to show the camera.
Satoru takes the opportunity in the lull to grab the lube from the dresser, as well as his phone from the tripod so that he can get a good shot of Suguru’s face like this.
“Look at you,” he says, thumbing across Suguru’s cheek, tapping there until he opens his mouth. He swipes the rest onto his waiting tongue, whispers little praises when Suguru swallows in response. “Did so well.”
He checks to make sure the angle is still consistent when he sets his phone back in its spot on the dresser, wasting no time returning to Suguru to pull him into another kiss. He groans low into it when he dips his tongue into Suguru’s mouth and tastes himself there. Suguru’s cock is so hard between them, throbbing as Satoru takes it into his hand to stroke him slow.
A needy whine leaves Suguru when Satoru has the camera in his face, smearing all of his cum across his skin and into his mouth. He swallows him down greedily, biting lightly at Satoru’s thumb before he lets it go and pants up toward the camera, staring down the lens through his lashes. He knows he’ll be embarrassed when he watches the video back, but in the moment he basks in the heat that spreads through him when he knows the camera is watching.
He lets himself be pulled up, melting readily into the kiss as he lets Satoru taste himself. The hand on his cock immediately has it flexing, his hips eager to roll into Satoru’s palm and chase the feeling. He moans openly into the kiss, his fingers flexing against Satoru’s sides where he holds him, breathing hard through his nose to try and stay calm. It doesn’t last long though, before Suguru is pulling back from the kiss and all but throwing Satoru onto the mattress, grabbing up the bottle of lube with a new found urgency. He needs to be inside him again. He says as much, as he messily pours lube onto his fingers and slides them down between his friend’s legs.
Satoru spreads his legs apart further for Suguru, adjusting the position of his hips so that he has better access. His stomach dips watching how riled up Suguru is this time– he doesn’t seem to be nervous at all, or if he was, Suguru can’t see it on his face. He can’t decide if it’s the camera that makes him bolder, or if he’s just lost in it. Either way it sends sparks coursing through him to feel Suguru’s eager fingers tracing over his hole, pushing two in right away without a second thought. He gasps at the feeling, melting into the sheets under Suguru as he tries to relax around his fingers.
“S–” Satoru cuts himself off right away, pressing the heel of his hand against his mouth when he catches himself saying Suguru’s name, that same possessive ache revealing itself once again. He almost can’t stomach the thought of anyone else hearing his name like that, knowing it.
Suguru pauses when Satoru starts to speak, just to immediately slap a hand over his mouth. That absolutely won’t do. He loves Satoru’s sounds, every single one of them; he can’t believe he’s trying to be quiet right now. Suguru is quick to wrap his free hand around Satoru’s wrist, tugging his palm free of his mouth as he levels him with a look.
“Speak properly,” he says on an impulse, though he falters at just how demanding he sounded saying it. He presses a quick kiss to Satoru’s lips, grounding himself for a moment as he goes to run his fingers over his cheek instead. He was getting way too eager; it was hard not to be when he had the man of his dreams splayed out in front of him like this.
“I want to hear you. What were you going to say?” He tries again, more forgiving this time as he starts to move his fingers once more inside of him, like it might coax more sounds out. He does his best to remember Satoru’s instructions from the night before, to curl his fingers and look for that little bundle of nerves that made Satoru see stars.
Caught between the urge to heed Suguru’s demand and the selfish need to keep Suguru’s name for himself, he tries his best to shift the focus back onto Suguru and away from himself.
“So demanding,” he says with a sly smile, eyes fixed on Suguru’s. “Don’t hold back. I like that.”
His demeanor changes fast when Suguru’s fingers finally find what they’re looking for, grazing against that perfect spot inside him. His breath catches and he loses his bratty edge, hands pawing at Suguru’s shoulders to try to ground himself.
“There you go,” Suguru hums when he finds Satoru’s prostate, rubbing the pads of his fingers over it as he picks up his pace. He scissors his fingers ever so often for the sake of efficiency, of actually doing what he was supposed to in prepping him, before he’s fitting a third finger into Satoru’s hole. Suguru hisses at the squeeze around his fingers, staring down at Satoru’s face as he goes soft and pliant and so needy underneath him.
“Tell me what you want.” Suguru tries to coax the words out of him, though the brutal pace he’s set with his hand doesn’t falter in the slightest as he demands once more. “Tell everyone watching what you need right now.”
“N-need–” Satoru forces out past his moans, feeling himself falling apart not only at Suguru’s hands but his words, how assured he sounded now, not a hint of nervousness lingering that he can hear. It’s a stark contrast to the night before, leaving Satoru apt to beg if Suguru wanted.
“Need you to fuck me,” he whines, back arching as Suguru’s fingers undo him, unrelenting. His mind softens out at the edges, the only thoughts remaining being how good it will feel when Suguru gives him what he wants.
“Please.”
“Good boy,” Suguru sighs, a grin splitting his face before he’s leaning down to press a fevered kiss to Satoru’s lips. He licks greedily into his mouth as he pulls his fingers out of Satoru slowly, savoring the feeling of his hole fluttering around them before they’re gone. He works blindly to find the bottle of lube, not even bothering to take his sweatpants all the way off before he’s coating his cock and dragging Satoru to the edge of the bed.
Suguru grabs his legs, fitting Satoru’s ankles over his shoulders before he’s, leaning forward and beginning to press inside. Suguru lets out a choked sound when the head pops inside, pausing for a moment to just breathe before he’s slowly pressing forward inch by inch. It was still overwhelming, but he’s holding it together better today than he had last night. His hands have closed like a vice grip around Satoru’s thighs and hips, nails biting in once he finally bottoms out and sits there to give them both time to adjust.
“Fuck–” Satoru hisses, drawing out the word as Suguru presses inside, holding his breath as he adjusts to just how full he feels, how heavy Suguru feels inside him. He stays still even though he desperately wants to move, that same urge to take control like before. But he’d much rather leave it to Suguru, to see exactly what he had in store for him, and how long he could last this time.
He wants to say Suguru’s name so badly that it aches, somewhere deep down in his chest. He’s really not sure that he will be able to help it, the further this goes, so he tries to force that feeling to relent. It only serves to remind him how many people will see Suguru like this, hear his voice, the noises he makes. Hoping that his displeasure at that thought that crosses his face goes unnoticed, Satoru digs his nails into Suguru’s shoulders hard as his stomach turns.
Fuck.
If Suguru remembered correctly, from all of those nights he would stay up listening through the walls to Satoru’s various hookups, he sounded like he was enjoying himself the most when the bed was cracking against the drywall. He reasons it’s safe to assume he liked it fast, or rough, or some combination of the two. Briefly, he questions if he has it in him to last if he truly tries to rail Satoru, but then he clenches down around his cock and Suguru’s breath is leaving him in a rush, and he decides he doesn’t care; they can always make a second video.
He draws his hips back slowly, savoring the drag of Satoru’s walls around him, before he settles his grip firmly on Satoru’s waist and thrusts hard back inside of him. It drags a needy sound out of Suguru to do it, his mind blanking for a few moments from the sensation, before he’s pulling back a little quicker and sliding home again. He’s quick to work his way up to an almost punishing pace, a hand leaving Satoru’s waist to curl over his shoulder and pin him down, not letting him get jostled further onto the bed– and away from Suguru– from the force.
“Feel so– fuck– fucking good,” Suguru chokes out, leaning forward to bite at Satoru’s lips after he speaks. It’s a mean mating press he ends up putting Satoru into, with his knees up by his ears. “You’re so tight, sweetheart.”
It catches Satoru off-guard when Suguru goes full send, wringing a startled noise from him as Suguru’s body weight settles on top of him, pinning him as he’s fucked hard enough to steal his breath. It’s the perfect angle; it feels so good that it finally quiets his mind, leaving it impossible to focus on anything else except how deep Suguru is inside of him. He forgets the camera completely, tilting his head up to capture Suguru’s lips where they’re so close to his own. He pants against his lips, not wanting to stifle any single sound that Suguru drags out of him like this.
“Oh my god,” he growls out even though it’s hard to speak in the position he’s in. His nails dig in harder, dragging hard enough across Suguru’s back that he’s sure he will have left marks of his own. That thought in itself is exhilarating, has him purposefully pressing harder, determined to leave as much proof as possible that Suguru was his. He presses his forehead against Suguru’s hard, and nips at his lips.
“Mine.”
Suguru’s pace falters when he hears that, his eyes blowing wide as that one word loops around his head; Mine. Mine. Mine. A satisfaction bubbles up in Suguru at hearing it, the kind that has him doubling, tripling his efforts to fuck into Satoru like he was a machine and Satoru’s pleasure was his sole purpose. He groans loudly as he grinds his forehead against his friend’s, licking and biting at his lips in return as he tries to press kisses to any skin he can get his mouth on.
“Yours,” he echoes back, voice thready and breathy but so resolute it could hurt. “Yours, all yours, Satoru,” he repeats, again and again, getting lost in the fantasy of truly being Satoru’s, that he might want that, trying to prove himself better than any useless hook up or perfect stranger he could have instead. It was all Suguru had ever wanted, for years, was something like this; something more even, ideally. He thought he had made peace with never getting to have Satoru as more than a friend, but with Satoru under him now, being inside of him, hearing the sounds he makes when drowning in pleasure, Suguru can’t think straight.
“I love–” he starts to say, before he chokes himself off with a moan, his face flushing several shades darker at nearly having confessed to Satoru. On video of all things. He doesn’t think he could recover the situation if he let it slip fully, nor face the shame of it, of his secrets and pining and wanting him for years potentially being brought to light. “–your hole, so fucking tight,” he tries to recover, tilting his head enough to bury it against Satoru’s throat. He punctuates his words with a sharp, angled thrust, one that rocks the bed hard enough into the wall that Suguru would be worried about breaking a hole through it if he was any less taken apart than he is right now.
Satoru is instantly back in his head when Suguru says that– or rather, he questions what Suguru had almost said. With the words that followed after… surely it wasn’t what he thought, right? Just dirty talk, playing it up for the camera. That had to be it. A sharp thrust snaps him out of it, interrupting Satoru’s train of thought and has him whining from the force of it. Just the thought of it was enough to stoke the fire in him even hotter; like pouring gasoline on an already raging fire.
He’d wanted Suguru to say it. But he can’t think about that right now.
“Suguru,” his voice is low and cracking from overuse as he gives in and says Suguru’s name like he wants, pushing away every thought from his head so that he can focus on just this.
A punched out sound leaves Suguru when Satoru says his name like that, all low and wrecked. It makes his balls tighten up immediately, the edge he had been doing his best to avoid approaching as he continues to pound into Satoru like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. He pulls his head out of his throat to crash their lips together, whining into the kiss as he tries to just remember how to breathe.
“‘M close,” he manages to get out, drawing back enough to pant against Satoru’s lips. “So close, where do you–” he’s cut off by a moan, when Satoru clenches hard around him, nearly choking his dick entirely with the action. Suguru slows his pace down a little bit, enough to not accidentally push himself over the edge at least.
There’s something about the noise that Suguru made when he’d said his name that has Satoru undone completely. Normally he would hold onto that feeling of teetering right on the edge, holding back that wave so that it could crash over him at the perfect time, preferably at the same time as his partner. But as he listens to each sound that leaves Suguru, watches his face as he tries to hold out, he decides he’d much rather have Suguru watch him finish first.
He lets go, no time for a warning before he’s spilling over with a shaky gasp. He repeats Suguru’s name softly like a lifeline, like it’s the only thing that can tether him as his finish rips through him, each one of Suguru’s thrusts sending shocks up his spine, down his legs.
“Inside,” he answers before it’s too late, voice wrecked and pitchy. “Wanna feel you come inside.”
Suguru is already spilling by the time Satoru tells him to finish inside. He groans loud, from the chest, almost pained as he slams into him and grinds, hot spurts of his cum filling Satoru up as Suguru shakes through it. He sags down against Satoru once he’s started to come down, burying his face into his throat as he breathes heavy.
“Fuck, sweetheart,” he mumbles, a bit delirious, while pressing wet kisses to the hickeys on his throat as he speaks. It’s a little awkward as he moves enough to lower Satoru’s legs, kneading at his thighs as he does, before he drops his full weight down onto him with a grunt.
“Better than last time?” He mumbles into Satoru’s shoulder, something sly hiding in his tone as he giggles to himself.
Satoru pets at Suguru’s hair, tired and content as Suguru’s warmth settles on top of him. He could fall asleep, just like this, nap the day away in Suguru’s bed and not worry about a single thing. He coaxes Suguru to lift his face up from where it’s buried in his shoulder, so that he can see his face. It’s a face he’s seen almost every day for years now, but still he stares like he’s trying to memorize it, a snapshot of exactly how Suguru looks in this moment.
“Better than anyone else.”
It’s just what slips out, a little too candid, and has Satoru wishing he could take it back, even if it was true. His feelings feel like far too much, something he needs to turn inward and push back down to whatever depth they’d surfaced from. Satoru tries to remind himself that the only reason that they were doing this was for money, and that if he had never suggested it, Suguru wouldn’t have ever even seen him this way. He’d never had any reason to believe before that Suguru would want more, so why was he hoping now, that maybe he did?
Suguru hums out a laugh at that, leaning in to kiss Satoru. It’s slower this time, more savoring, compared to the rest. Selfishly, he lets his wants pour into it, the confession he almost let slip hidden in the way he tilts his chin and presses just that little bit closer, the way he purrs softly at the tenderness of it.
“You’re just trying to soften me up,” he teases softly, barely breaking from the kiss to speak before he’s leaning back in. He has no clue if he’ll get this kind of opportunity again; to hold all his wants in his hands, to kiss Satoru the way he has always dreamed of. He doesn’t want to let go of it yet, filming be damned.
Despite how sweetly Suguru kisses him, Satoru still feels twisted up inside. It’s a hopefulness entangled with the doubt that negates it, blending together until they’re indistinguishable and Satoru kisses Suguru back like he’s guilty of something. He’s all too aware of the camera that still records them, trying to pretend like it’s not there until he can’t anymore. He presses a soft kiss to Suguru’s forehead, shifts until he can wiggle out from underneath Suguru and hit stop, and flick off the switch to the ring light.
Crawling back into bed with Suguru is what Satoru wants to do. No more recording, just the two of them with nothing to do for the rest of the day. Instead, he gathers up his clothes where they’re scattered, pulls them on quick, and pockets his phone.
“I need to edit this so it can be ready for tonight. I should probably go do that,” Satoru says, cringing at just how final and cold it sounds, almost awkward. But, it was what he needed to do right now. He could spend some time alone, get this stupid video ready to upload by this afternoon, and crush all of his feelings before then. After that, everything would be fine.
One more kiss wouldn’t hurt. He leans across the bed and presses his lips to Suguru’s, tender and sincere, and he doesn’t rush it. This video they made better be a winner, because there was no way that his heart could handle doing this again.
The finality in Satoru’s tone is jarring for Suguru to hear, feeling like ice water dumped down his back. It scares him just as much as it validates his fears that this was purely transactional, that he had just been extra kind for his practice round. That it stopped here, after this. Suguru shifts awkwardly to watch him as he redresses, pulling his own sweatpants back up with an embarrassed flush on his face at the sudden tone change. Had he done something wrong? Was that last kiss too much…? He moves to sit up abruptly when Satoru leans in to kiss him, a hand curling possessively around the back of Satoru’s neck like he could hold him in place.
“You don’t… don’t want to spend some time together? Like last night?” Suguru asks, insecurity hiding behind his voice. He barely pulls back enough to look over Satoru’s face, his questioning obvious; what did I do? Why are you leaving?
“I do. We can, after I get this video up,” Satoru says, matter-of-fact. “Time crunch, remember?”
It’s all he can do not to cave; not when Suguru’s voice sounds so sad, not when leaving this room feels like the worst thing ever. But for his sanity’s sake, he needed to sort this out.
“It shouldn’t take too long.”
“Right. Yeah, that… we should get that posted soon,” Suguru relented, cringing a bit as he leaned back from Satoru and further into his bed. Something had closed off in his face in the time it took Satoru to respond, his own tone going curt as he swallowed thickly. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Satoru, not right now, not when it meant confronting the stark difference of the before and the after.
He felt a little used, though. He can’t help but question if Satoru had just been saucing him up to make sure they went through with the video, that the kiss that morning had been nothing more than a draw to keep Suguru interested in filming it in the first place. It hurt. Enough that his chest ached, as he raised a hand to rub his knuckles over the center of it, tender beyond the skin. If this was the most Satoru wanted, then he could at least reason he wasn’t doing any good by trying to push it. Things would likely be delicate enough if Satoru has doubled back on his feelings, if he even had any regarding Suguru to begin with. He didn’t need to make the balance any worse by pushing his luck with it. He’s an adult, so he can handle it like an adult, and he can adjust back to how things were. 24 hours of an ideal wasn’t too long to come back from.
“I’ll leave you to it, then. Just let me know when it’s done.”
Satoru tries his best to do what he’d planned. Two hours to edit this video, get a handle on his own feelings, pretend like nothing ever happened. But he can’t get the look on Suguru’s face out of his mind– the look he’d had when Satoru hadn’t stayed with him. He looked so disappointed. Sad. It made Satoru really wonder if this really was all one sided; second guess his thinking that Suguru couldn’t possibly feel the same as he did right now. And that hope? It was almost impossible to snuff out.
He watched the video. Once all the way through, but there was one part he’d gone back to. Replayed quite a few times. When Suguru almost slipped up and said… something. Or maybe he didn’t. Satoru cursed himself for taking Suguru’s hair down at the beginning, since it was in his face at that moment, and he couldn’t see when watching the video back what he looked like when he’d said it.
The more he focused on it, the crazier he felt. The more he doubled down in his mind to move on and get back to normal, the more he just… couldn’t. He didn’t want anyone else to see this video. Couldn’t even bring himself to think about uploading it. Right back to square one, not knowing what the fuck they were supposed to do, because Satoru just couldn’t do this. He sucks in a deep breath, finally slams his laptop closed to face the music, and face Suguru. Satoru is sure that he’ll be mad. After all, everything they did was kind of useless, now. Just because Satoru couldn’t get over how he felt. But he could be honest about that, and face the consequences. He just hopes that he doesn’t lose his best friend in the fallout.
He pushes open his bedroom door, hesitant as he steps out. He lands three knocks on Suguru’s door, not knowing if he’s even in there still, or if he’d gone to the living room sometime in the almost three hours Satoru had been holed up in his room.
Suguru had spent the past several hours loitering. And stewing. And generally failing to stop the cycle of thoughts in his head from running any more of a rampage on his emotional state than they already had. He knew he was failing, but he was still trying, and he tried to focus on the fact that trying was productive, and productivity right now was probably good. He imagines this is what a break up might feel like, with the pit in his stomach and the ache in his chest and the pressure of rejection.
He had already changed his sheets though, took a quick shower, straightened up his already clean and tidy room; when he had run out of things to do, he settled into his desk chair and simply spun himself back and forth in it, replaying the events of the day in a confused daze like if he kept running through it all he’d catch the thing that threw it all off-kilter. He jumps when he hears the knock on his door, his current rotation in his desk chair stopping short as he turns to stare at the wood.
“It’s open,” he calls, despite a hearty internal debate at pretending he was taking a nap. He wishes he was napping right now, instead of this; his head is starting to hurt at this point, tension in his jaw and temples mounting. But he was also an adult, and an adult can handle the subsequent fallout of making a porno with your best-friend-and-roommate, so he would face it head on. Maybe they can both pretend it never happened, and fall back into their usual routine.
Satoru takes a deep breath, holds it as he cracks the door open and steps in. He lets it out slowly before he speaks, steeling himself for this conversation.
He pauses for a second, lingering in the doorway as he rocks back on his heels.
“Hey.”
“...Hi,” Suguru responds, a bit wary at the hesitant way Satoru is acting. Here goes nothing, he reasons. “Did you… upload it?”
Fuck. The reality settles over Satoru as he gathers up his words in his head, exactly what he has to say for himself after he drops this bomb on Suguru.
“No. I didn’t.”
Suguru staggers at hearing that, blinking up at Satoru for a few moments before his gaze drops down to his lap. What the fuck?
“You didn’t,” he repeats back, swallowing thick around the words. Had it been that bad? Was there something wrong with the footage? “Did something happen?”
“I watched it back, and I just… I can’t do it,” Satoru stammers nervously. “I don’t want anyone else to see it.”
What the fuck?
“You don’t– Satoru, what?” Suguru starts, his mind reeling with questions at this point. He’s struggling to make sense of the statement in the first place now, as he stares dumbly up at Satoru. “What do you mean, you don’t want anyone else to see it? Did I– did I embarrass myself or something? Was it bad? What are you talking about?”
“No, Sugu. It was great, that’s… kind of the problem.”
“I’m lost here, Satoru,” Suguru says, letting out a heavy sigh. “What’s the problem?”
“Okay,” Satoru starts, his hands running over his face, fingers pressing into his eyes. Just say it.
“Thinking about other people seeing that video… seeing you like that, hearing the sounds you make? Fuck, I said your name, too, and I…”
He pauses, trying not to ramble. “It makes me feel ill. I can’t deal.”
There’s a spark of hope in Suguru’s chest as he listens to Satoru’s confession, something that stalls his breath and almost nauseates him with its intensity.
“Satoru, are you jealous?” He asks, a bit more gently this time.
Satoru considers it for a second. In all honesty, it was probably the perfect word to describe it.
“Yeah. I am,” he responds. He pauses, swallows hard. Just say it.
“But… I don’t think that’s all of it.”
Suguru stands at that, abandoning his desk chair to sit on the edge of his bed instead. He pats the spot next to him, that little hope in his chest fluttering at the thought that there was something more.
“Want to tell me all of it, then?” He questions, tone forgiving as he tries to will his nerves to relax.
“Yeah,” Satoru sits down next to Suguru, looks at him before he rests his head on his shoulder.
“Scared you’ll think I’m crazy, though.”
“I already think you’re crazy,” Suguru teases softly, wrapping an arm around Satoru’s shoulders to pull him into his side. He leans his head against his friend’s, his heart practically beating out of his chest. “Tell me anyways.”
“I’ve… been with a lot of people, Sugu. Enough to know when it’s different. I know that this was supposed to be no big deal, we just fuck and make our rent, whatever. Keep it casual like I always do, but…”
He shifts, fidgets with his hands in his lap as he stares at Suguru’s floor.
“It felt like more than that. You can feel it when you watch that video. Or maybe it’s just because I know what I was thinking in the moment. Projecting, or whatever. I’m definitely reading too much into it, but you’re kind of perfect, so can you really blame me?”
Satoru laughs nervously, like he can play off the confession while he waits for the other shoe to drop.
Suguru moves slow as he raises a hand to pinch Satoru’s chin, turning his head up and to the side enough to press his own lips to his friend’s. He sighs into the kiss, a gentle little thing, before he delivers another to Satoru’s forehead, letting himself linger there while he debates what to say.
“Took you long enough,” he settles on eventually, something like relief coursing through him. He thinks it hasn’t fully processed yet, that Satoru had at least some feelings for him; enough that he was jealous, that he thought Suguru was perfect. He was overflowing with butterflies as he let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head.
“And here I thought I was doing too much.” Another kiss, to Satoru’s temple this time. “You really didn’t know?”
Satoru stares at Suguru, wide eyed. He has a feeling he knows what he’s implying, but he wants to hear him say it; like validation for how insane he’d thought his feelings were for the past couple days.
“Know what?”
“I’ve been in love with you for years, Satoru,” Suguru blurts out, his face turning warm. It was his turn to stare down at the floor now, self conscious at having to admit it out loud. “I-I, I didn’t think I’d ever have a chance, so I just… I don’t know. I never brought it up.”
“Wait, years?” Satoru asks, honestly shocked. At most he’d thought that Suguru would admit he felt the same spark that he did, but… that? A sort of guilt washes over him, thinking about how all this had started, how it played out. If that was really the truth, Suguru really deserved a better turnout than he got.
“Suguru… if I would’ve known, I would’ve never suggested make that stupid video,” he offers, like maybe it could help make it better.
“We could’ve done it right, from the beginning.”
“Would you have ever considered me, if I didn’t fuck you first?” He asks, both genuine and teasing. He tries not to sound bitter about the fact, his focus turning to the fact that he did have a chance now, that he was being considered.
“You never seemed interested, and you always had someone else, a-and I just… I didn’t want to make things awkward between us, by confessing first. You’re my best friend.”
“Well it's not like I never thought about it. Didn’t think you’d want me like that though. I probably would’ve thought you were fuckin’ with me,” he teases right back. It’s true; if Suguru had told him point blank something like that before all this, he would’ve probably asked if hell had frozen over first.
“I wouldn’t have considered you. I would’ve jumped at the chance. No question.”
A laugh leaves Suguru at that, his arms dropping to wrap around Satoru’s waist before he’s throwing his weight backwards into his mattress, dragging his friend down with him. It was Suguru’s turn to press his face to Satoru’s shoulder, nearly hiding in it as a quiet form of giddiness filled him.
“We’re so stupid, we should have just said something,” he snickered, voice muffled by the fabric of Satoru’s hoodie. “It was about time I lost my virginity anyways, though.”
“Mine now,” Satoru jokes, wrapping his arms around Suguru and squeezing him tight. “We’re both fucked, though, cause we had no plan B and if anyone sees that video I’ll kill them.”
“Who knew you’d be so possessive,” Suguru jokes right back, content to curl up in Satoru’s arms. He thinks he understands what it truly means to come home, laying with Satoru like this. Suguru lets his eyes close, humming low in his throat as he considers the fact they were right back at square one.
“This is… unfortunate though. Do we sell our stuff now?”
“Well, I was already planning on begging my parents for money. I can be very convincing, I think they’ll cave.”
Satoru laughs and snuggles up to Suguru, emboldened by their whole conversation.
“After that though… we could always get a smaller place, cheaper that way,” he says tentatively, almost muffled into Suguru’s hair. “...one bedroom, maybe.”
Suguru flusters at that. One bedroom. He buries his face in Satoru’s hair like he could hide himself away there, his cheeks warm and his grin wide as he pulls him impossibly closer.
“I would like that,” he whispers there, pressing a few kisses across his scalp. “We can start looking at new apartments today.”
“Good. First though…” He trails off, a mischievous kind of smile crossing his face, flushed now at just how cute Suguru was.
“Wanna watch the video?”