Chapter Text
Lando drops his head on the table and groans into the envelope at the top of a pile of its peers. The thing no doubt contains another bill.
“Oscarrr,” Lando whines, tilting his head so his voice travels down the hall. “We’re so fucked.”
Oscar pops his head out of his bedroom, and peers into the kitchen.
“Why are we ‘so fucked’?” Oscar asks, with a worried look on his face.
“Bills,” Lando replies, using a strange enunciation that makes the word sound like billz.
“Ah, fuck,” Oscar sighs, walking through the hall and stopping by the busted-up kitchen table. It’s probably the nicest thing they share, and it’s covered in scratch marks and wine stains. “Billz,” Oscar repeats, with the same stupid inflection.
Lando taps his forehead against the table just once, and then straightens his spine and turns to Oscar. “I’m gonna start hooking on the corner for money.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, but I like your entrepreneurship,” Oscar replies, far too used to Lando’s humour. “Maybe I could ask my boss–”
“Your boss hates you,” Lando sighs. “He’s not giving you any more shifts than the ones you’ve already got.”
Oscar sighs back.
They’ve been having money problems ever since their rent got raised, and as savings are starting to run out, the pair of them find themselves increasingly out of options.
“I fucking love this apartment,” Lando huffs, hands on his hips as he scuffs his socked foot on the fuzzy carpet he bought. “We’re not moving.”
“Lando, we can’t–”
“We’re not moving,” Lando repeats. “Nature finds a way.”
Oscar just nods, looking disbelieving, and the conversation sort of ends there.
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It’s only when Lando’s biking to uni with Daniel that a miraculous, beautifully serendipitous solution presents itself.
“Watched some great porn last night,” Daniel says as they briefly split apart to weave around a lamppost. “You hear about the competition?”
“Do I want to know about your masturbatory habits?” Lando throws over his shoulder.
“Absolutely,” Daniel replies, veering his bike to the left so he can talk to Lando a bit quieter. “Also, that’s a big word. Nice. So, last night–”
Lando starts pedalling faster, trying to get away from Daniel, but the stupid prick’s got stronger legs, and catches up in no time.
“Lando, I’m offended you won’t indulge me,” Daniel says in some over-the-top, period piece accent, fighting to match Lando’s pace as he talks. “Truly, there’s nothing wrong with the human body’s–”
“Shut up, oh my God, shut up, we’re in public,” Lando laughs, eyes darting to check if the passersby walking down the pedestrian lane are looking.
None of them are, of course.
“Alright fine, I’ll whisper," Daniel huffs. The university campus comes into view, and Lando breathes a relieved sigh that they’ve finally made it.
“It’s a homemade porn competition,” Daniel says, reaching out over his own bike to nudge Lando with his elbow. “Like, on campus. For couples.”
Lando nearly crashes his bike at the absurdity of what’s just come out of Daniel’s mouth.
“Why on Earth would anyone participate in that? Can’t people get expelled for that?” he asks, shocked and a little worried on the behalf of his collegiate pornstar peers.
“One, it pays very well, and two, no,” Daniel says. “Apparently it’s legal. There’s a whole thing about university rules on the website,” he hums.
He trails off into talking about the porn he watched last night, far too loud for their public setting, and far too egregiously personal for Lando’s taste (though he’s totally fine with it, he and Daniel have done worse together).
Lando’s brain goes wandering down financial lane.
He’s got a decent body. He could probably do porn successfully.
And if it actually pays well, maybe he and one of his gay friends can do it together, safely. That’d be such an easy solution to his and Oscar’s rent problem.
“How much does it pay?” Lando asks, interrupting Daniels’ rambling.
Daniel throws Lando a sideways glance and grins.
“Thinking of participating?” he asks.
“Shut up,” Lando blushes. He’s half considering pedalling away from Daniel and his incredibly raised eyebrow, but he’d actually like an answer to his question. “Just tell me.”
Daniel grins at him. “Seven-hundred and fifty pounds for first place each week. I’m assuming you don’t need to hear second and third, because you’re probably already convinced you’ll win each week.”
Lando nearly shoves him off his bike with a splayed hand. “Shut up.”
Daniel swerves and almost hits a businessman, and then rights his bike and frowns at Lando. “That’s a compliment, mate. Also, winner gets five-thousand to keep. Maybe you and whatever gay guy you string along to make porn with you can share it equally.”
The second time Lando shoves him, Daniel has to kick a foot out to avoid falling to the ground.
Lando speeds up the ramp to the campus grounds, and Daniel catches up to him in no time.
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“I’m just saying, it’d be good for us financially,” Lando huffs, staring at Carlos with a pleading look.
“Lando,” Carlos groans, hands on his hips. “As much as I love you, I’m not making porn with you.”
A couple of engineers walking past whip their heads to stare at the two of them, who continue talking, oblivious.
“Do you know anyone who would, then?” Lando asks with a pout.
Daniel’s not gay, Max and Charles are together, and everyone else is either a first- or second- year (far too young for Lando’s third-year ass), or cuffed as well.
Carlos briefly hums in thought before quietly saying, “no, sorry, cabrón.”
Lando lets it drop, and goes to his classes with the (admittedly insane idea of the) homemade porn challenge still running around the back of his mind.
It’s around five that he comes home, and with Oscar’s schedule memorised, he calls out, “honey, I’m home!”
Oscar pads out of his room in sweatpants and a hoodie, looking like he’s just taken a nap. He sits at the kitchen table as Lando takes off his shoes.
“How was class?” he asks.
Oscar’s currently in the depths of a midterm study bonanza (to use Lando’s term), so he’s been home at his desk all day.
“Terrible,” Lando sighs. “No one wanted to do porn with me.”
Oscar’s head whips up, and he shifts his legs under the table.
“Wh– Lando, why would you make porn?” he asks, a faint flush appearing on his cheeks.
Lando notices the pink on his face, and throws him a cheeky smile. “Don’t be such a prude, Osc. There’s a whole competition running around campus. Each week’s winner gets seven-hundred and fifty pounds for the video.”
Oscar gawks at him. Like, full-on, mouth dropped, gawking.
“Lando, you can’t be serious,” he says.
“Why not?” Lando asks, crossing his arms over his torso. “It could solve our rent problem. I’m thinking financially.”
“What if you get hurt?” Oscar asks, staring at Lando.
How the hell could he even consider this?
“I wouldn’t get hurt, Osc,” Lando says, rolling his eyes. “But anyway, it doesn’t matter. I don’t have anyone to do it with. I’ve asked literally everyone.”
Oscar frowns at that, because as much as he’s terrified at the idea of Lando making porn with someone who might hurt him in some way, he’s also a little offended that Lando didn’t even consider Oscar as an option.
Oscar wouldn’t hurt him. After all, he’s fucking in love with him.
“You haven’t asked me,” Oscar blurts out, and then promptly drops his forehead on the table in embarrassment.
“Oscar!” Lando says, surprised. He walks up to the table and pulls Oscar by his hair to meet his gaze, which only makes Oscar flush further. “You’d actually consider it?”
Oscar stares at Lando, mind occupied with the feeling of Lando’s tight grip in his hair.
“Uh… I guess?” Oscar mumbles, turning even pinker. “I mean, we’re pretty close already. Wouldn’t be that weird.”
“But you’re not…”
Lando trails off.
He doesn’t even know how to finish his sentence. Into making porn? Out? You’re incredibly socially… whatever?
He releases his grip in Oscar’s hair and leans a hand on the table.
“Would you actually consider it?” Lando asks instead.
Oscar goes still for a second. And then, he nods softly.
“Okay, then, cool!” Lando chirps, taking Oscar by surprise with how easy he agreed to it. “Awesome, I’ll send you the website.”
Oscar opens his mouth to say… something. He’s not quite sure. But Lando’s padding towards the kitchen, and Oscar doesn’t really have any words yet.
He sits, staring at the wood grain of the kitchen table like he can melt into its thin waves.
I’m gonna make porn with the love of my life for fucking rent money, Oscar thinks.
He inhales deeply.
Fuck.
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