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Mira jerked upward, taking a shuddering breath and coughing for a moment, hands scrambling to her throat, pressing down on the– the huge gash that wasn't currently letting blood flood her lungs? There wasn't a gash in her throat at all. By the feeling of it, there wasn't even any blood. What the hell? There had definitely been blood. Looking down at her hands, the lack of blood was very suddenly the least of her problems, because past her hands she saw… nothing.
Or rather– not entirely nothing, but definitely not the dark alley she was supposed to be in. Below her were blue, shimmering lines, like the honmoon, but rather than layered over the world, beyond it was just… darkness. A void that stretched into every direction. Looking around and finding herself completely alone in an empty space only shaped by the honmoon's slightly wavy lines, Mira exclaimed: "What the hell!?", no echo chasing her voice. Just hungry silence. Taking stock of herself she realised she was wearing her favourite jacket – that had been torn to shreds two years ago. No wound, no blood, no nothing, but a jacket that shouldn't exist anymore? Oh, for fuck's sake. "Am I… dead!?"
It was the only explanation that made sense, unfortunately. She knew she'd just been drowning in her own blood. Damn it! Her heart was racing – did she still have a heart? Her chest felt tight because she was panicking because she kind of high-key didn't want to be dead, especially because she didn't know if–
From one moment to the next, Mira wasn't alone, another body appearing in the void a few feet next to her, gasping for air and flopping around like a reeled in fish.
"Zoey!", Mira called out to her, rushing to her side, grabbing her hand to steady her.
Zoey was curling around her stomach with panicked movements for a moment before she seemed to register that she wasn't bleeding out either. She was in a set of pyjamas that fit perfectly but seemed like they would only be made for kids, very plush, very cosy, cartoon turtles all over them. Finally processing that she was okay, Zoey's eyes snapped up to her. "Mira!", she exclaimed in both surprise and relief.
Now that it was clear Zoey was okay, Mira was thinking about what had happened just before she'd woken up here. She let go of Zoey's hand to get up and gesture in exasperation. "Did you just– did you just fucking kill me!?" She remembered it now, the sight of Zoey's shin-kal hurtling towards her neck.
Zoey's eyes went wide. "I'm sorry, I panicked!", she exclaimed. "I didn't realise it was you!!"
Mira narrowed her eyes at her in disbelief. "Who else–"
"Excuse me for not expecting you to be the one murdering Rumi!", Zoey cut her off, pushing up from the floor with a huff and gesturing generously herself now, getting kind of heated.
Mira stared, then groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. "That wasn't Rumi, it was a demon!", she explained. "The demon just looked like R– hold on", she cut herself off as more stuff processed, a cold dread gathering in her stomach. "Why are you here too?"
"I don't know!", Zoey said, tossing up her arms helplessly. "One moment I was throwing my shin-kal at you and the next my guts were spilling everywhere!" She grimaced at the memory, pressing her palms to her stomach again. "Fuck, that sucked!"
"Yeah, choking on my own blood wasn't fun either", Mira remarked, but felt bad immediately as Zoey pouted at her. She sighed. "Nevermind, you're forgiven. I guess." She gestured around them helplessly. "Not much point staying mad if we're both goners."
Zoey looked around then, uncertainly. "Yeah, about that", she said. "Where even are we? And where's Rumi?"
Mira raised an eyebrow at her. "Rumi didn't die like an idiot."
Zoey glared right back. "Wrong! You killed her, so where is she!?"
"I did not!", Mira protested. "How often do I have to say this: That was a demon! She had patterns! Rumi isn't dead!"
"Rumi is dead", another voice interrupted, making both of them jump.
Mira whirled towards it, panicking again because that voice sounded a whole lot like–
A demon who looked and sounded exactly like Rumi, except with the patterns of course, was standing in front of them. She was wearing an off-the-shoulder crop-top the real Rumi hadn't worn in years, showing off the purple marks on crossed arms. She was scowling at them.
"The better question is why you two are!", she yelled, sounding almost desperate and decidedly upset. "What are you doing here!?"
"What are you doing here?", Zoey shot back at her instantly, matching her energy. "What are any of us doing here – where is here??"
The demon, which Mira tried as hard as she could not to think of as Rumi, huffed. "We're inside the honmoon", she said, clearly unhappy about it.
Mira scrutinized her. "We can't be", she said. "I mean you can't be, you're a demon." Maybe they could be inside the honmoon as hunters, but not a demon.
"Mira!", Zoey shrieked, hitting Mira's shoulder and gesturing at the demon. "It's clearly Rumi!"
She was about to argue again, maybe even pull out her weapon to fucking prove it– when the demon stepped forward, holding up her hands between them. Mira might have worried about getting attacked – if she weren't already dead. Still, her chest tightened again.
"Don't fight, you're both right", the demon said with a grimace. Then she groaned, rubbing both hands over her face in apparent distress. "Oh my god, I can't believe you're both dead too", she almost moaned. "If I'd known this would happen I would have–" She hesitated, lowering her hands and staring down at them. She sighed, shaking her head. "I don't know. I just hope we'll have enough time."
"Time for what?", Mira asked with a raised eyebrow. They were dead, it wasn't like they were in a rush anywhere. Based on previous promises, Zoey just had a lot of sleeping to do now. "For you to explain how you're both Rumi and a demon?" She'd meant it sarcastically, but the demon's answer sounded genuine for some fucking reason.
"I was born one", she said with another sigh, hugging her arms self-consciously, not looking at either of them. "Half one, anyway."
For a moment all three of them were silent. Mira didn't know what to make of a claim like that. Part of her wanted to laugh, it was the worst lie she'd ever heard.
"My god", Zoey finally broke the silence. Then face burst into a giddy smile. "Mi-yeong was a freak! I knew it!" She pumped her fist as the demon's face turned slightly red.
Mira shook her head, sure she had to be hearing this wrong. "Hold up, you can't seriously believe this!?", she asked Zoey, about to point out again how this was absurd and Rumi was definitely just still alive somewhere, safe and sound. She was interrupted by a shudder under their feet though, almost like an earthquake, the honmoon seeming to groan. "What the hell was that?", she asked, looking to Rumi– the demon for answers. Since she seemed to know so much or whatever.
Relief flooded the demon's features. "Oh, thank god", she breathed. Then she looked at both of them, clapping her hands. "That's our cue. Let's go, come on." Inclining her head for them to follow her, she started walking in a seemingly random direction. Vaguely Mira thought it might have been the direction that earthquake had originated from, but it was hard to tell.
Zoey and Mira were left to look at each other, Zoey shrugging and following her after sticking her tongue out at Mira. Mira grumbled, left with no choice but to follow too. "Go where?", she nonetheless asked, exasperated. "We're dead!"
"To the tear, just trust me", the demon said, which had Mira screeching to a halt again. When Ru– the demon noticed she turned around to find Mira's disbelieving expression. The suggestion that they should trust her was perhaps the most absurd thing she'd said so far and it was in competition with claiming that a demon hunter had had sex with a demon, so that was saying something. Her lips pressed together in frustration and she threw up her hands. "Or I can drag you", she threatened.
Mira scowled at her. "Sorry, it's just that in a best case scenario, you've been lying to us for… for always! This whole time", she said, letting the idea that maybe she wasn't lying at least exist in theory. Either way, trust was nowhere near this current situation. "And I'm still not sure I believe it."
The demon who was still probably not Rumi closed her eyes, looking briefly so very vulnerable and sorry that it almost made Mira feel bad. Almost. "Look", she said. "I know this is bad, I know. I did lie. I didn't know… I didn't know how to tell you. I was scared. It was easier to–" Her face scrunched up as she tried to find the right words and apparently failed. "I didn't want this to happen. Like, ever. But right now we are all dead, and I'm trying to fix that so please–", she looked intently and pleadingly at Mira. "In the spirit of having nothing left to lose: Trust me. Just one more time."
Her eyes looked so genuine. Mira pressed her lips together, still not quite satisfied. She had no idea how this situation could possibly be fixed but… she didn't want to be dead – didn't want any of them to be dead – so she sighed, but kept following. The demon's relief was uncomfortably visceral.
Zoey skipped along, grimacing nervously in the slightly tense atmosphere. She hooked her arm into Mira's with a pleading smile and pulled her closer to the demon so she was only a step ahead. "I'm honestly just glad I can still talk to you guys", she said. "If this is all there is I'm happy I get to be with you. Please don't kill each other a second time."
Mira didn't feel like arguing anymore. "We still don't know how you died", she pointed out.
Not-Rumi's steps faltered for a moment before she quickly picked up the pace again. "It…" She clenched her fists, her voice quiet and guilt-ridden. "It might have been me. I'm sorry."
"Might have?", Mira asked with a raised eyebrow. Either it was or it wasn't and as much as Mira would love to condemn her, she was pretty sure Zoey was still alive enough to hit home with a shin-kal by the time Mira had already had the demon speared through with her gok-do.
Flinching at the words, maybe-Rumi pulled her shoulders up self-consciously. "When I'm near death, I–" She sighed, dropping her shoulders, her eyes darting to Zoey before falling away again. "Instinct kicks in. I think I saw you attacking Mira and… I'm sorry. I'll fix it."
Several details of that struck Mira as odd. First of all: was she implying she'd instinctively tried to protect Mira? And second of all: what the fuck was 'when I'm near death' supposed to mean? Mira frowned at her. "Hold up, how do you kn–"
"Here we are", Rumi cut her off, pulling Mira's attention forward to where the honmoon's blue faded into an angry red, a tear spreading out in front of them leaving a hole into that impossible darkness. They still had a few steps to go, Rumi's premature interruption suspicious, but once again she didn't give Mira time to properly demand answers as she nervously said: "I hope this works", and then grabbed Mira and Zoey's wrists, yanking them forward.
Before Mira could get her bearings she was already falling down past the tear. Next to her she heard Zoey scream at the sudden fall, herself able to keep quiet, though her stomach dropped at the sensation of the world shifting around her. When she finally came to a stop again it was so abrupt that she tripped over her own feet, sprawling to the ground.
When she opened her eyes again this time, there was a regular Seoul street around her, but the hands she pushed herself back to her feet with were different.
"Woah", Zoey remarked first, still sitting on the floor herself, staring at her own hands, her legs, her feet, as she slowly got up onto them.
All three of them were… blue. And slightly translucent. And she recognised this street. They weren't too far away from where they'd died.
"We're ghosts", Mira finally voiced her own shock and confusion. "Holy shit." A few steps away was a parked car and – curiosity getting the better of her – she reached out for it. Her hand passed right through. She looked at the floor, for a moment unsure what would make it different from the car and whether she would just fall through the earth at any moment – until she saw the soft shimmer of the honmoon under her feet. Right.
Turning back to the others, Mira was a bit conflicted to find that in her ghost form, the demon didn't have patterns. Since they were all monochrome honmoon-blue they weren't showing anymore. Could demons even have ghosts? But she couldn't actually be Rumi. She couldn't. That would mean that–
"Alright, let's keep going", Rumi interrupted her spiralling thoughts, leading the way again. "Don't run into any demons. Without bodies your souls are defenceless. We have to hurry. Hopefully nobody's found us yet."
Mira almost growled at this ruthless pace. There was too much happening and it felt like Rumi was deliberately trying to not give them any time to process. "You're awfully knowledgeable", Mira pointed out as she followed, suspicious.
Zoey had to be thinking along the same lines because she asked: "How often have you done this?" She sounded heartbroken rather than sceptical though, and Mira nearly tripped at the implication. If this wasn't a demon deceiving them… ah, fuck.
"Oh, you know…", Rumi said, her voice sounding nervous, gesturing vaguely. "Just a few times."
"When?", Zoey demanded, quickening her steps to catch up to her. "When have you fucking died?" When Rumi didn't immediately respond, Zoey growled and snapped: "Rumi!"
"You know", Rumi said again with a weird shrug. "That time at the train yard. And at that one construction site. In Spain during our Europe tour… twice."
Mira remembered those. Rumi had 'passed out' for a few seconds each time. It was always scary when their leader didn't immediately get back up again, but… dead?
"Jesus", Zoey cursed, Mira getting the distinct impression that she would be going pale if she had the ability.
"How often? Total", Mira wanted to know, her teeth grinding. This was ridiculous, this couldn't be… and yet. She didn't know if it was a trick, and yet. How would some random shape-shifting demon know about all those times Rumi had fought and been knocked down? Rumi stayed quiet again. Mira's chest tightened. She sped up, grabbing for Rumi's wrist. "Rumi, answer me right now o–" She cut herself off in surprise as her hand passed clean through Rumi's.
Different than with the car, Mira did feel her, the sensation sending a shudder down her spine. Rumi obviously felt it too, whirling around to face her, hand cradled to her chest, her face panicked for a moment before she managed to school her features. She still looked nervous though as she smiled, wiggling her fingers at Mira. "Ghost", she pointed out, then nodded back in the direction they'd been headed in. "We really have to hurry, guys."
Was that so? Mira planted her feet and crossed her arms. "I'm not moving until you tell me." And this time Rumi had no chance of dragging her either.
Rumi's eyes instantly widened in panic. "You can't!", she shouted. "You'll die. For real!"
Mira just shrugged, waiting with an impassive expression. She was already dead. Her stomach twisted uncomfortably since she didn't fucking want to be, but she needed answers. She did not trust Rumi to give them to her otherwise.
Stepping from one foot to the other anxiously, Rumi seemed to weigh her options for a moment. Maybe she considered calling Mira's bluff. Finally, looking at Zoey for help and only finding worried anticipation there, she faltered. "Fine!", she relented, throwing up her hands and groaning as she rubbed over her face again. She raised her hands to count on her fingers. "Give me a minute."
She had her eyes closed, apparently doing some additions in her head as the fingers she held up became more. When she finally paused, Zoey gaped. "Seven!?", she asked in horrified disbelief.
Rumi ducked her head with a guilty smile. "Thirty-four", she corrected, making Mira blanch now too. "But it's fine!", she added, holding up her hands beseechingly. "I'm fine. It doesn't mean anything. It was worth it every time. I'm… you know." She gestured down herself which Mira assumed lost most of its intended effect due to her lack of patterns at the moment. "Expendable. Now can we please keep going?"
They kept going, mostly because Zoey and Mira were both stunned speechless and Rumi was nipping at their heels like a herding dog. Mira still didn't want any of this to be true, wanted none of this to be true more with every additional piece of information it seemed. Unfortunately, every new piece of information also made it seem like… it might be.
"That time at the train tracks", Zoey said slowly after a moment. "You pushed me out of the way."
Rumi didn't say anything, but very conspicuously also didn't meet either of their eyes.
Finally, Mira couldn't take it anymore. She didn't even care that this admitted she thought it might be true. "Was it to save us? Every time?" Some horrible mix of anger and sorrow was forming a lump in her throat.
"No", Rumi said, sounding faintly irritated. "Twice I was just being stupid." Pivoting her palm back and forth in the air she went on: "And like… twelve-ish times, you would have probably been fine either way. Then once was an accident."
That left nineteen-ish times that Rumi had sacrificed her life for theirs. Because she was… what word had she used? Expendable? Why the hell did she think th– oh. Right. Hell. Demons. Fuck. Mira hated that she could track the exact line of logic there, could see how it would all make perfect sense in Rumi's mind. And how Mira had given her all the more reason to think that way today. In their line of work… demons were only good for dying.
"There we are", Rumi exclaimed after another moment, clapping her ghost hands together without producing any sound as she rushed ahead into a familiar alley. Her relief was unmistakable as she stopped over three bodies, arranged in a vague and horrible triangle. "Still undisturbed, thank god. Okay, get back into your bodies. … Guys?"
Rumi was probably looking expectantly at them, confusion lacing into her voice with that last word, but Mira couldn't be sure. Because Mira wasn't looking at her. Mira was looking at the bodies. Each one was more horrible to look at than the last.
Next to her she heard Zoey's breath hitch. "I'm so sorry, Mira."
Zoey's eyes were pinned to Mira's body, collapsed against a wall with her head lolling to the side. Blood spilled down her front from a cut in her neck, eyes staring blankly ahead, hands bloodstained from her attempts to staunch the bleeding.
"No, I get it", Mira said after a thick swallow, her own voice sounding like it was coming from far away. "You panicked. You didn't realise it was me."
She herself was mostly staring at the body with just a small spot of blood blossoming from her chest. It was deceptive, as Mira knew most of the blood would have spilled from her back, the alley too dark to reveal the puddle in which she was most certainly laying. It didn't make any sense. A corpse with patterns, peeking out from under her hoodie around her wrist just as they had when Mira had reacted to them in an instant. A dead body with patterns just wasn't possible. Except it was if the occupant of said body had not been transported back to the demon realm at all, but was standing here with them. With a soul. Maybe partially demon but entirely Rumi.
Part of her wanted to say sorry, but another refused. Mira didn't know. How the hell was she supposed to know?
"Look, you'll be fine", Rumi was now saying, her voice higher with a barely contained desperation. "Just get back in your bodies and you'll be okay, I promise. It hurts, but you'll heal. I'll make sure of it."
Finally raising her eyes to her, Mira saw Rumi's eyes darting anxiously between their faces and the third body in the alley, like she was trying not to look but failing horribly. Obviously Mira understood why. Lying on the pavement on her side, most of her intestine spilling from a perfectly horizontal slice across her abdomen, Zoey was perhaps the worst sight of them all. Mira didn't look for long, scrutinizing Rumi instead.
There was something in her expression, something Mira thought she'd seen many times before, but never quite recognised. Until now. There was shame there, undoubtedly, but also deceit and – most foreboding of all – determination. It was the expression of thirty-four (thirty-one? Nineteen? As if the exact number made any difference) lives laid down without hesitation. It was the thirty-fifth threatening to be more final than the ones before it.
"And you?", Mira asked her with a tense jaw, hoping she was wrong.
Rumi's eyes snapped up to hers. "What about me?", she asked, confused.
Mira's jaw ticked. "You're going to come back with us too, right?"
The uncertain flicker in Rumi's expression was like a stab though the– okay maybe no more metaphors like that for tonight. "I don't– I don't know", Rumi said, swallowing thickly as she tugged at clothes that didn't hide her. "You know the truth now. I know this… this isn't something that's… easy to forgive." Her eyes were on corpses as she spoke, rather than on ghosts.
"Maybe", Mira said tersely, because she wasn't going to lie and say she wasn't still upset. "Maybe not. Give us the chance to find the fuck out." That was the worst part. That they hadn't known. They didn't get to know, that was what had even caused this whole stupid mess!
Rumi's eyes were on her again, big and full of disbelief, which stung. "I just…" She fidgeted with her clothes some more, a nervous habit she'd always had and just made a lot more sense now. "I'd understand if you didn't want me around anymore. You did kill me."
Mira worked very hard to contain her frustration. "I killed. A demon", she said, her voice low, pinning Rumi's stupid soul with her stare. "I didn't mean for it to be you." She nodded towards Rumi's body. "You go first."
For a moment she looked like she was going to argue, but Mira redoubled her glaring, making her words dry up. Then she turned to Zoey for support (or condemnation?), only to find Zoey's expression just as set as Mira's. She stammered helplessly under their gazes. "Guys…", she tried weakly pleading, looking close to tears.
Zoey crossed her arms, her own expression firm but pinched with sorrow. "Time's ticking, Rumi."
Rumi flinched at the reminder, finally holding up her hands. "Okay", she sighed. "Okay, fine. Just…" Her watery eyes flicked anxiously across their bodies again before she looked at them with such… fear in her expression that it would have taken Mira's breath away if she'd had any. "I won't be able to see you anymore as soon as I'm back in my body. Please don't leave me", she begged them as silent and invisible tears seemed to fall down her cheeks. "Not like this." Her voice broke on a sob. "And I'm sorry, I can't start healing you until your soul is back in place, and it'll be more difficult from there than here, but I'll do my best, okay? You're going to be okay."
Because Rumi looked like she very desperately needed some form of confirmation, Mira finally nodded at her, feeling her own eyes sting. Zoey was still eerily quiet and still, but Mira couldn't exactly fault her for that. Taking a breath that was for emotional comfort alone, Rumi stepped towards her own dead body.
Mira watched in vague fascination as she sat down inside it and laid back until her soul and her corpse were taking up the same space. They seemed to slot together like puzzle pieces and Rumi gave them one last anxious glance before she lowered her head back into… well… her head. The blue glow of her soul vanished behind the physical confines of her body and for five terrifying seconds absolutely nothing else happened.
Then light abruptly returned to Rumi's eyes and she convulsed, all her muscles tensing for a second before she hissed, clearly stifling a scream. She curled up onto her side, her hands clutching at her chest as she rocked herself back and forth for a moment, humming a melody under her breath. Finally she relaxed with one last shuddering exhale. How often had Mira seen Rumi curled up in pain, thinking she'd just gotten hit badly, not knowing that hit had actually been fatal? She almost felt sick thinking about it. Then again… Rumi was alive. The fact that Rumi was alive right now was basically a miracle (though in her case perhaps a somewhat worn out one) and it meant… it meant that maybe Zoey and Mira could be alive again too.
Rumi sat up then, still a bit stiff, still wincing at certain movements. She looked around a bit, in the general direction they were standing, but it was clear she couldn't see them anymore. She was frowning, her hands shaking as she sighed, moving across blood-stained pavement towards Zoey. Mira looked away when Rumi turned her to her back, scooping her entrails back into her abdomen as she did. The noise was bad enough. When Mira dared look again, the jacket Zoey had had tied around her hips was tied around the cut in her midsection instead, keeping her organs mostly in place.
Rumi's hands were blood soaked to the wrists. She wiped them off into her own hoodie, and at first Mira cringed at the thought of getting it that dirty – when she remembered that the back of it was already drenched in her own blood.
Next she moved over to Mira. There wasn't much to be done for her, but Rumi scooped Mira up and put her down next to Zoey, careful not to let her head tip back too far as she did. Then she sat back between them, waiting anxiously, her whole body vibrating with her nerves.
Though never so outwardly obvious about it, Mira was kind of feeling similarly. She remembered how much dying had sucked and she wasn't looking forward to repeating that experience, even if it was going to be happening in reverse. Hopefully. How the hell did Rumi keep doing this?? Mira was turning towards Zoey to ask if she wanted to go first, when Zoey beat her to it.
"You're next", Zoey said. Not a question. A statement. She was smiling at Mira, but her eyes were full of regret. Again, Mira got that sense of invisible tears.
Mira's chest squeezed. "Zoey–", she tried to protest, to reassure. Zoey wasn't having it.
"I fucked up, okay?", she said with a helpless shrug, the guilt making her look so much smaller than she already was. "I'll be right behind you, I just need you to go next."
Mira swallowed. Part of her wanted to protest. Not just because she wasn't looking forward to the pain, but also because she was worried about Zoey. Sue her: she was scared. Being dead was fucking scary and having one of her best friends stay dead longer than her was too. Glancing anxiously at an increasingly jittery Rumi though, Mira finally closed her eyes for a moment, then smiled at Zoey once she opened them again. "I trust you", she told her. She wished she could have given her a hug, but meaningful looks would have to suffice. For now.
Doing as Rumi had done before her she sat down inside herself and– yikes, that was a weird sensation. Kind of cold and uncomfortable but with a pull to it that was hard to resist. Like a weird magnetism demanding her soul get back into place. That was probably a good sign, right? Intellectually Mira knew that yeah, getting back in there was the goal. With all the blood and pain attached though, Mira still strained against it a bit. If she had a heart, it would be hammering. But then her eyes found Rumi's face, now crying silent but very visible tears over their dead bodies and– fuck. Okay. Time to take the fucking plunge.
For a moment everything went dark. The pain came back first, because of course it did. Mira felt like she was suffocating, desperate and unable to draw breath into her lungs. Then she felt the hands, warm against her clammy skin, at her forehead and gently on the side of her neck, keeping her steady.
"Mira!", she heard Rumi's voice break on a sob, coming from above her, sounding weirdly distant. Her eyes opened but struggled to make out much in the darkness as her throat and lungs burned. She writhed in her desperation to breathe. "Mira hold still. I know it's hard, but try not to breathe. Give yourself another moment just–"
She broke off speaking, singing a tune that sounded like a lullaby played at three times speed. Not very relaxing, but apparently still effective. The pain in her throat dimmed and she stopped feeling like she was submerged and more like her throat was clogged. She scrambled to turn to her side, couching up what felt like a gallon of blood the moment her face was turned downward. Breath finally rattled into her lungs and her whole body ached, but– holy fucking shit. She was alive.
She wasn't sure why she'd missed it so much, it fucking sucked. The pain was far from gone and she was shaking, desperately cold after – presumably – her body had stopped producing warmth for a minute there. But there was a melody slowing down behind her and hesitant arms that finally wrapped around her, warm and comforting as she shook.
"You're okay", Rumi said, voice rough but confident. "You'll be okay." She kept singing for another minute as she held Mira, until she'd managed to stop shaking, tears leaking from her eyes from all the coughing, her throat feeling awful still, but her lungs no longer burning. She still coughed on occasion, wiping droplets of blood from her chin. Reaching up to the slick mess at her throat, the remnants of a cut remained there, stinging as she touched it, but superficial. Her windpipe worked again.
It was a loss when Rumi let go of her, made less sharp by the fact that she was clearly reluctant to do so. Mira also couldn't fault her when she of course immediately turned to Zoey next, crawling around her so she would be between Mira and herself, hand hovering by Zoey's cheek like she was scared to touch her. "Come on, Zoey", she pleaded quietly, head bowed over her. "Please."
Mira was watching closely too, trying not to lose her confidence in Zoey, so she didn't miss it when Zoey's eyes returned to life. What she did next still caught her off guard though. Rumi had been practiced, contained. Mira had been drowning. Zoey had neither of these problems, so when Zoey returned to the land of the living as well as to the injury that had ejected her from it, she screamed.
It was an immediate and shattering cry of such pain that it set Mira's heart racing all on its own, a spike of adrenaline so harsh she was frozen with it. Rumi wasn't.
"Zoey!", she called out, half relief, half concern, her hand finally touching down on Zoey's cheek. Her other darted to her hip, holding her down so she wouldn't squirm too much and inhibit healing. "Oh, Zoey, I'm so sorry", she sobbed. "Hold on." She sang that rushed rendition of a lullaby again, Mira trying to join in, feeling the honmoon warble around them.
The honmoon was the thing that let them do crazy shit and usually Mira was grateful. She was grateful right now too. A small, frustrated voice in the back of her mind complained though. Did you have to let her die so many times?, she thought. Enable Rumi to sacrifice herself again and again? Obviously the honmoon gave no comment – the coward.
Slowly Zoey's screaming lessened, first becoming chocked with pained sobs before those finally ebbed too into shuddering breaths. She was shivering just like Mira had been. And just like with Mira, Rumi draped herself over Zoey once she was healed enough, sharing her warmth like a rescue dog. "You're okay. You're okay", she repeated like a prayer.
Groaning with a bit of remaining discomfort, Zoey finally cleared her throat and asked: "Are you okay?"
Rumi's breath hiccuped. "Who cares?"
"I do", Zoey said, voice cracking.
"I do", Mira said, clenching her teeth.
Rumi stiffened, looking up at Mira with a fear in her eyes that looked almost like hope. Mira set a hand gently on Rumi's shoulder, and still, Rumi flinched. It hurt, but Mira made herself be patient, eventually slowly tugging Rumi and Zoey up into sitting positions. Zoey flinched and hissed as she sat up, hand shooting to her stomach, fingers slipping past sodden clothes to feel her wound. A red angry line remained along the whole width of her, but it was closed up again, no more spillage, thank– well, the honmoon and Rumi, she supposed.
Once Mira was sure Zoey was okay, she turned to Rumi. She tugged at her shoulder again, this time to make her turn around. "Show us", Mira said, surprised herself when it came out almost as a plea. "Let me see." Mira needed to see the injury she had caused and know that it too had healed.
Rumi hesitated. Her hands were shaking and it was plainly obvious that it went against every fibre of her being when she finally reached for the hem of her hoodie and lifted it, turning her back to them so Mira could see. It was so dark and there was so much blood that Mira reached out to feel the knitted closed skin. Rumi flinched, then shivered. Her wound was mostly healed just like theirs were. And all around it, covering half of her back, almost drowned by the red of her blood, were jagged purple lines. Mira was tracing them with the tips of her fingers before she realised what she was doing.
A muffled sob shook Rumi then, her face buried in the front of her bunched up hoodie. "I'm sorry", she said into the thick fabric, her body shaking, and Mira didn't think it was from the cold. "I'm sorry for lying. I didn't– I couldn't tell you. I was trying… I was trying to fix it." She was wracked by another sob before she repeated: "I'm sorry."
Mira was still staring, still processing like an idiot, so she was glad when Zoey finally grabbed the hem of Rumi's hoodie and pulled it back down over her back, then tackled Rumi into a crushing hug that had their leader gasping in surprise. Finally snapping out of it, Mira shuffled around her a bit to hug her too from the other side. That hug was… honestly a little disgusting. They were all covered in blood, still sitting in a random alley on the dirty floor. But it was also absolutely necessary, and it set something inside Mira's heart back to rights. To feel them both: alive and breathing.
"What do you mean you were trying to fix it?", Mira asked after another moment, moving back a bit to meet Rumi's eyes – who promptly attempted to avoid hers. Mira frowned at her for it, slightly hurt that this was still a thing.
Apparently Zoey had already put more things together, because it was her who finally met Mira's searching look with a scowl of her own. "The golden honmoon", she said.
The– holy shit. Mira's hackles rose and she pinched the bridge of her nose. "For fuck's sake, Rumi", she complained, making the other girl shrink further in on herself in their embrace. "This is what we've been doing overtime for!?"
Her frustrated tone seemed to take Rumi off guard, her shoulders loosening a bit. "I'm… sorry?", she said uncertainly, raising her head again.
"You better be", Mira said, gesturing in exasperation. It was just annoying at this point, how much of their lives had secretly been dictated by this. "Your punishment is a month of mandatory couch. Maybe two months." What a dumb fucking reason to stress them all so much, to push herself so hard. Mira would have no more of it.
Rumi stared at her in disbelief. "But–", she protested predictably. "The rest of our tour. The idol awards."
"Who cares!?", Zoey injected before Mira could. "We all just died!", she pointed out, even more exasperated than Mira. "We need time to recover." When Rumi opened her mouth again to argue more, Zoey cut her off, saying: "You'd make us perform after we died!?"
The accusation was the perfect (maybe only) thing to shut her up. Her mouth snapped closed again, though she did pout guiltily. Mira almost rolled her eyes, since Rumi had obviously never given herself that same consideration. Instead, Mira sighed, gently patting Rumi's shoulder to get her attention, because there was one circumstance in which she would allow this rush.
"Do these hurt?", she asked when Rumi looked at her, brushing her hand over her arm, indicating the patterns hidden below the sleeve without revealing them again.
Rumi cringed but her eyes only darted away briefly before returning. "I mean… no", she admitted.
Good. That was a relief. "Then the golden honmoon can wait", Mira said. "The fans will still be here when we're ready. They love us." She was confident they could create the golden honmoon on a more relaxed schedule just as well. More importantly though was looking intently into Rumi's eyes to tell her: "And I love you. So we're resting. All of us."
"I love you too", Zoey said on Rumi's other side, squeezing her.
"Fine", Rumi huffed with a shuddering breath. A fresh tear rolled down her cheek, her lips twitching into a helpless smile even as she chewed at the bottom one. "I love you guys too", she finally whispered into the night. For a moment she let them hold her, closing her eyes as she savoured the closeness. "We are not skipping the idol awards."
Zoey and Mira both groaned.
"Fine", Zoey said. "If you stop getting yourself killed for us", at which Mira nodded emphatically.
Rumi rolled her eyes, but said: "Fine. As long as you promise not to die either. Again, I mean", she added with a look at Zoey, who had already opened her mouth for the joke.
"No dying", Mira agreed with a nod. Grimacing at the fact that it had to be said she also said: "And no killing."
"Deal", Zoey said immediately.
"Deal", Rumi said, ducking her head guiltily.
Mira released a relieved breath. "Deal."
They finally picked themselves up from the floor then, the lot of them still stiff and shaking a little. But they were together. Mira was pretty sure that together they could do absolutely anything. Even die and come back, it would seem. Even walk home through Seoul's streets covered in blood without arousing suspicion. Somehow, they were going to manage.
They were a block away from the alley when Rumi stopped, like she'd just remembered something important. "Also, Celine never hears a single word of what happened tonight", she said.
"Obviously", Mira immediately conceited, shuddering at the thought of their mentor finding out about it.
Zoey nodded as well. "I mean, yeah. Duh."
And with that they finally made their way home to rest, Rumi's blood-stained hands finding their way into one of their equally blood-stained hands each as they walked.