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"Dammit Maya, how did you get accused for bombing the country of TURKEY?!"
Phoenix asked, clutching his hair and immediately pulling away as his porcupine spikes practically stabbed through his hand.
"I-I don't know Nick! Detective Gumshoe just bust my door down and cuffed me! And I was JUST about to romance my favorite option on crush crush!"
Maya pouted as Phoenix rubbed between his eyes.
"Maya you're on threat of death row right now."
Phoenix said as Maya cried out.
"W-wait! I-I still haven't finished Danganronpa yet! What about all the animes on my watchlist! Nick you have to get me out of here!"
Maya exclaimed as Phoenix sighed.
"Don't worry Maya.. this is only what, the fortieth time this week?"
Phoneix asked as Maya rubbed her eyes.
"Thirty ninth you jerk."
Maya said defensively as she looked back at the guard.
"Well.. at least I have some friends in here. Right Mister Guard man?"
Maya asked the man at the door as he stayed perfectly still as always.
"I'm pretty sure he's a mannequin, but I'm so lonely."
Maya said with a sniffle.
"Even worse, all the guys you put in jail are here! And they're all ANGRY!"
Maya said as she covered her ears from all the foaming at the mouth, pipe snapping, sounds of earthquakes and clapping.
"Whole house man, Phoenix! Whole house mad..."
Maya said nervously, clutching her magatama as Maya sighed.
"You still have that magatama pearl gave you, right?"
Maya asked as Phoenix nodded.
"Good! Now go find the god damn culprit so I can get back to my Xbox!"
Maya said angrily as Phoenix nodded.
"G-got it."
Phoenix said, skedaddling away to the crime scene on his bike.
After a while, he want panting and sweating, groaning and moaning as he clutched his back.
"Man.. I don't want to see what I'll feel like in seven years."
Phoenix murmured as he looked up from his map.
"So.. the crime scene is where Maya spends the majority of her time.. wait a damn minute."
Phoenix said to himself as he looked up.
"This is my office!"
Phoenix exclaimed, trying to clutch his hair but he pulled his hand back once more, learning his lesson from last time.
"I can't believe this.. this is ridiculous."
Phoenix said with a groan.
"Why couldn't this have just happened in folk valley..."
Phoenix said as he hopped off his bike and rolled up his sleeves, as daddy Phoenix was ready to take care of business.
As soon as he burst into his office, he was met with a screaming Gumshoe.
"Hold it right there, pal! I've got a cell with your name on it if you walk through that door!"
Gumshoe yelled as Phoenix sputtered.
"B-but it's my door!"
Phoenix protested as Gumshoe tsk-ed.
"Thems the rules pal. Straight from Edgeworth himself. And you know it's bad when Edgeworth and straight are in the same sentence."
Gumshoe said as Phoenix tapped his foot.
Yeah that was definitely off.
"But c'mon man! You always let me slip into the crime scene on the down low big dawg..."
Phoenix said as he nudged Gumshoe, who just stood there, unmovable. Like gum. On a shoe.
"No way pal-world! Edgeworth is here on the scene himself! Apparently, he really loved turkey. Said their hair transplants made Manfred Von Karma sufferable for a few weeks."
Gumshoe said as Phoenix scratched the back of his head, imagining just what Manfred would do when he learned that Maya was in the same jail as him.
"Look Gumshoe, I need to get in there and quick!"
Phoenix pleaded as Gumshoe laughed.
"Sorry pal-ket pussy. There is NOTHING you can say to get me to move from here."
Gumshoe said as Phoenix dug in his pockets.
"I've got a pack of ramen with your name on it gumshoe."
Phoenix said as one of Gumshoe's eyes opened from his silent pout.
"O-on wallahi?"
Gumshoe started relenting before shaking his head wildly.
"No! I can't! I can't let down daddy Edgeworth!"
Gumshoe exclaimed as Phoenix's brows furrowed.
"Dammit.. what else can I get you?"
Phoenix asked himself before remembering he had a goop egg up his cheeks!
"I'll even throw in a half boiled egg with gooey yolk."
Phoenix said, digging in his butt and retrieving the goop egg as Gumshoe practically jumped out of his shoes. His GUM shoes.
"Really pal-port?! One whole egg?!"
Gumshoe asked excitedly, brushing the dookie off of the egg as he licked his lips. To Gumshoe, an egg was a delicacy.
"Yup. Boiled in my asshole and everything."
Phoenix said proudly as Gumshoe squealed.
"That means I won't have to heat up any water! You're the best, pal!"
Gumshoe said, skipping away with the egg as Phoenix brushed his hands off.
"Now that that's taken care off.. all that's left is Edgeworth."
Phoenix said nervously as he stepped into his office.
"Dammit.. with all these cops around they're scaring Charley the house plant."
Phoenix lamented, grabbing the poor things wilting leaves as he suddenly heard a voice behind him.
"Wright? What the fuck are you doing at my crime scene?"
Edgeworth asked as Phoenix practically jumped out of his foreskin.
"E-Edgeworth! U-uh.. how's England been?"
Phoenix asked as he beat himself up in his mind.
"What the fuck! He's Japanafornian! He's probably never been to England! He's probably larping that stupidly handsome accent of his!"
Phoenix said in his mind as Edgeworth adjusted his cravat.
"Uneventful. The food was horrible. The teeth? Even worse. Now what are you doing in my crime scene, Phoenix?"
Edgeworth asked once more as Phoenix shifted on his feet.
"Oh you know how I am. A road runner. A risk taker. I go where the wind takes me."
Phoenix said as Edgeworth glared.
"Can the winds take you to the employment office? Because you have an awful amount of free time these days."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix screamed 'OBJECTION!' and shoved his badge into Edgeworth's face.
"I'M A DEFENSE ATTORNEY AND IT'S MY J*B TO DEFEND MY CLIENT MAYA!"
Phoenix said as Edgeworth covered his ears.
"Wright! Can it be your job to sybau next?!"
Edgeworth asked angrily, covering his ears as Phoenix brought his hands up to his cheeks.
"Sowwy Edgy. But I need to investigate. How exactly did Maya send a nuke big enough to eradicate all of Turkey from the continental map?"
Phoenix asked, trying to use his aegyo voice as Edgeworth looked at him, completely unamused.
"Might I remind you that you are the defense, Wright? I'm not entitled to say anything to you. Nor do I want to."
Edgeworth said, crossing his arms and pouting like the little tsundere he was.
"So just leave, baka. I have no clue who even allowed you into this crime scene. Probably that bumbling buffoon Gumshoe."
Edgeworth said as salary cutting sounds ensued, and somewhere in the distance, Gumshoe howling in unpaid bills could be heard.
"C'mon Edgeworth! Don't be like that! Didn't we used to be friends?"
Phoenix asked as Edgeworth shook his head.
"Don't start with me Wright! Because of you I have been saddled with... unnecessary feelings."
Edgeworth said as the magatama around his neck suddenly started buzzing as four whole psyche locks emerged from him.
"J-jeez Edgeworth! You never said that the feelings were so damn complicated, too!"
Phoenix said as he scratched the back of his head.
If he could find the root of his psyche lock, maybe he could be allowed to investigate just why exactly everyone was accusing Maya of eradicating an entire country!
"Edgeworth. This is my office. Can't you at least give me the dignity of looking around? And really, do you seriously believe Maya did it?! She hasn't done it the other 67 000 times you've all accused her of murder!"
Phoenix said as Edgeworth looked away.
"It doesn't matter if she's guilty or not. You don't get accused that many times and just NOT be guilty."
Edgeworth said as he huffed.
"But. Fine. Papi Edgeworth shall allow you to roam around for a few minutes. But if you can't find anything then that's entirely your own fault."
Edgeworth said s Phoenix nodded excitedly.
"Got it!"
"But!"
Edgeworth said with a grin.
"You won't be finding out about the most crucial, telling piece of evidence."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix huffed.
"And you really can't share it with me?"
Phoenix pleaded as Edgeworth shook his head.
"I'd much rather have you stripped naked and spanked in front of the court before I ever would share the evidence with you."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix shifted.
"Uh.. that was weirdly descriptive of you Edgeworth. Have anything you want to say to me?"
Phoenix asked as Edgeworth adjusted his cravat.
"Nothing you'd like hearing Phoenix. Some things to do with EMPLOYMENT."
Edgeworth said as yet ANOTHER psyche lock emerged out of Edgeworth, making a total of five whole locks.
If only there were 6 or seven locks...
"Alright alright. Well, time to get exploring."
Phoenix said as he walked further into his office, Edgeworth breathing down his neck.
"H-hey! Tell those policemen to get out of my happy place! Their dirty hands will mess with my perfectly pristine toilet!"
Phoenix exclaimed as Edgeworth rubbed his temples.
"Really.. Phoenix, what is your obsession with cleaning toilets?"
Edgeworth asked as Phoenix laughed sheepishly.
"Trusty lawyers have clean toilets. What can I say. I'm totally not trying to summon the spirit of skibidi toilet."
Phoenix said as Edgeworth blinked.
"I worry about you, Wright."
Edgeworth said as a policeWOMAN (Cause yeah, we're inclusive in this household) walked up to Edgeoworth.
"Mister Edgeworth sir! We looked for Phoenix Wright's underwear drawer but we couldn't find anything!"
The policewoman said as Edgeworth's eyes widened and he quickly shushed her.
"Silence woman! You and your.. fragrance smells can get out of here!"
Edgeworth said defensively as Phoenix blinked.
"Uh.. why exactly did you need to look in my underwear drawer?"
Phoenix asked as Edgeworth cleared his throat.
"I'm.. not sure. Those orders did not come from me."
Edgeworth said as the policewoman returned.
"Under your direct order, we made sure to examine each corner and see if this Phoenix Wright character had any toys! We found nothing, sir!"
The policewoman said as Edgeworth screamed.
"WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT GET OUT?!"
Edgeworth snapped as the policewoman skedaddled away, muttering something about her luck.
"Uh.. What was tha-"
Phoenix started to ask, but Edgeworth just adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat.
"Do not worry about these foids, Phoenix. Don't forget that you are on a very short leash here, not to mention you are associated with a potential terrorist. We must investigate every angle.."
Edgeworth said defensively as Phoenix rubbed his chin. He was starting to get an idea what those psyche locks were all about.
"Hey Edgeworth.. take that!"
Phoenix said, now shoving the magatama in Edgeworth's face as he blinked.
"Uh.. was something supposed to happen?"
Edgeworth asked as Phoenix shushed him.
"Hol on, the music slaps. Gimme a minute."
Phoenix said as Edgeworth's eyebrows furrowed.
"Phoenix what the hell are you talking about?"
Edgeworth asked, but Phoenix just grinned.
"Edgeworth, you're hiding something from me, aren't you?!"
Phoenix asked with a grin as Edgeworth clutched his arm.
"Phoenix, WHAT are you rambling on about?"
Edgeworth asked, but Phoenix just tsk-ed.
"Edgeworth, you've been glaring at me the whole time I came in.. yet you didn't want to kick me out. Why is that?"
Phoenix asked confidently as Edgeworth scowled.
"Because you're not supposed to be here, that's why."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix shook his porcupine quills.
"No Edgeworth, you've been staring at me. And I know why!"
Phoenix said as he presented his evidence!
"Uh.. what does your attorney badge have to do with anything?"
Edgeworth asked as Phoenix looked back at badge in his hands.
"Kur-ap! I didn't mean to present that!"
(Get it? Like Kurain + crap? ...I thought it was funny T-T)
Phoenix said as he suddenly flinched aggressively, like he was taking an explosion to his invisible health bar, much to Edgeworth's disturbance.
"Phoenix, is this the day you finally snapped?"
Edgeworth asked worriedly as Phoenix just pulled out his phone.
"Hold on.. I saved before presenting my magatama."
Phoenix said as Edgeworth ran a hand through his hair, frustrated.
"Are you from folk valley? What in the world are yo-"
"Do not worry about these foids, Phoenix. Don't forget that you are on a very short leash here, not to mention you are associated with a potential terrorist. We must investigate every angle.."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix pumped his fist, muttering under his breath about 'save files.'
"What was that, Wright?"
"Nothing, nothing."
Phoenix said, shoving the magatama in Edgeworth's face (once more) as he blinked.
"Uh.. was something supposed to happen?"
Edgeworth asked as Phoenix shushed him.
"Look I'm not going through allat again."
Phoenix said as Edgeworth's brows furrowed.
"Uh.. alright?"
Edgeworth said as Phoenix grinned confidently.
"Now! Edgeworth! You've been glaring at me the whole time I've been here! Why is that?"
Phoenix asked smugly as Edgeworth pouted.
"Because. You're disrupting our investigation."
Edgeworth said defensively as Phoenix shook his dreads (quills)
"No Edgeworth, and I have the evidence to prove it!"
Phoenix said, now presenting the right profile of the policewoman as Edgeworth frowned.
"What does she have to do with anything?"
Edgeworth asked defensively as Phoenix chuckled.
"Oh? You don't think that ordering a policewoman to investigate if I have any bad dragons or rose toys is telling?"
Phoenix questioned as Miles flinched.
"Tell yourself whatever you'd like, Wight.. but I just need to complete a thorough investigation."
Edgeworth said as he glared at Phoenix.
"What are you even trying to get out of this, Wright?"
Edgeworth asked as Phoenix exclaimed.
"I want you!"
Phoenix yelled as Edgeworth blinked.
"I-I don't know what to say Pho-"
"I want you to give me evidence!"
Phoenix said as a moment of silence occurred between the both of them.. before the psyche locks merged into one big black one. (Sounds familiar amirite ladies)
"W-what the hell?!"
Phoenix yelped as Edgeworth scoffed.
"Wright. I'm up to here with you. I think it's about time you stop disrupting my investigation."
Edgeworth said coldly as Phoenix frowned.
"No! I can't do that to Maya! God knows she'll let something FIERCE posses her and hunt me down! I hope she never gets powerful enough to channel the ghost of the goon..."
Phoenix thought in his mind as he looked around frantically for any angle to attack this with.
"U-uh.. do you accept bribes?"
Phoenix asked sheepishly as Edgeworth took six steps forward, leading to Phoenix taking seven back.
"I doubt there's anything you could offer me."
Edgeworth said, but the chains on his psyche lock shook at that statement.
Bro said a statement so secretive even his psyche locks gave him away.
"What could YOU possibly offer ME, Wright? Your badge that you keep shoving into people's faces? The gorilla glue you use in your hair daily? Sorry but I'm not interested."
Edgeworth said bluntly. Urgh, what did Phoenix have on hand at the moment? Nothing but his suit. But now that he was thinking about it.. it was pretty expensive. Who knows? Maybe Edgeworth was tired of the ol cravat.
"A-all I have is this."
Phoenix said, motioning to himself as Edgeworth blinked.
"Wright.. are you offering me what I think you are?"
Edgeworth asked as Phoenix grinned.
"Score! He likes my suit after all!"
"Yup! You can get all of this. In exchange for those fingerprints you found. Miles, please!"
Phoenix pleaded as Edgeworth's eyes opened.
"M-Miles..?"
Edgeworth said like he was some sort of Terry Cruise.
"Uh sorry. Edgeworth."
Phoenix said sheepishly, twirling his thumbs as Edgeworth's eyes furrowed.
"Deku. Arch. Now."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix blinked.
"What?"
"I mean.. Phoenix. Bathroom. Now."
Edgeworth commanded as Phoenix followed him reluctantly.
"Guess he wants the suit right now. But what the sigma am I going to wear once he takes it?!"
Phoenix asked in his mind, just following Edgeworth as he kicked out the police officers examining Phoenix's squeaky clean toilet.
Edgeworth slammed the door shut behind him as Phoenix started taking off his suit, ready to loan it to Edgeworth, but Edgeworth shook his head.
"No Phoenix.. lett daddy Edgeworth take care of that."
Edgeworth said as he slowly started unbuttoning Phoenix's suit, keeping complete eye contact.
"Jeez Edgeworth, I didn't know you'd like the suit THAT much."
Phoenix said as Edgeworth growled.
"I'd rather see it across the room."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix's eyes widened.
"E-erm. What the sigma?"
Phoenix asked as his brows furrowed.
"Wait a minute.. I get what's going on here!"
Phoenix said obliviously, cause Apollo had to get it from somewhere, right?"
"You hate my suit don't you! You're buying it to toss it!"
Phoenix exclaimed, clutching his chest as Edgeworth froze.
"Do you.. think that's what this is?"
Edgeworth asked as Phoenix blinked.
"Uh.. is this a prank show?"
Phoenix asked as Edgeworth huffed.
"Wright.. if you cannot identify the situation right now I will cut YOUR salary. Just ask gumshoe."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix clenched his eyes shut, playing a good round of hangman's gambit.
After a few minutes of taking damage of a reset or two, Phoenix's eyes widened.
"Y-you think I'm sugoi desu?"
Phoenix asked like Raku-Chan as Edgeworth rubbed the space between his eyes.
"Soney bun.. that's one way to put it, yes."
Edgeworth said reluctantly as Phoenix's eyes widened.
"Wow. I never thought you felt that way!"
Phoenix exclaimed as Edgeworth shrugged.
"What can I say? You have saddled me with... unnecessary feelings. Like disgust. And disturbance. And nausea. And hemorrhoids."
"Uh.. I get it Edge-"
"I'm not done."
Edgeworth corrected.
"And.. love."
Edgeworth said, as we yes WE all awe-d at our monitors.
"Phoenix.. would you really do anything for that evidence of mine?"
Edgeworth asked with a small grin as Phoenix nodded ferociously.
"Man I'm telling you, you don't want to face Maya's wrath. She will posses me and force me to watch the Pink Princess until I go insane."
Phoenix pleaded as Edgeworth smirked like the roblox man face.
"Then.. you must work for it. What kind of lawyer hasn't sucked someone off for evidence?"
Edgeworth asked lightheartedly as Phoenix raised his hand slowly.
"Uh.. I haven't?"
Phoenix said as Edgeworth froze.
"Well then. That wrinkly bastard Manfred has some explaining to do."
Edgeworth said before shaking his head.
"Nevertheless! You shall suck on my shaft, Phoenix."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix turned red.
"Seriously? B-but I'm just a babeh.."
Phoenix said, filling his cheeks with air as Edgeworth scoffed.
"Well.. if you really want me and the judge to sentence Maya to death, then so be it."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix shifted on his feet.
"Well.. I mean. I can always find another assistant."
Phoenix said as Edgeworth scoffed.
"And I'll clean your toilet."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix immediately dropped to his knees in front of Edgeworth.
"Got it."
Phoenix said, eagerly ripping off Edgeworth's pants as they hit the ground with a flop.
"Now Wright.. I can tell that you aren't emerged into the word of homosexuality so, I shall instruct you in the act."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix nodded.
"Alright Miles. Just tell me what to do."
Phoenix said as Edgeworth smacked him upside the head.
"That's PAPI Miles to you. If you're going to do this, then do it right, you foolish fool."
Edgeworth said before shaking his head aggressively.
"Uh.. I think Franziska is influencing me."
Edgeworth muttered before rolling his eyes.
"I can still feel her whip on my chest."
Egdeworth muttered as Phoenix laughed.
"Man, so can I."
Phoenix said as Edgeworth smacked him again.
"Silence yourself, moid. (Man + foid) I need you to lowkirkueinly start slurping away."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix nodded silently.
"Un, deux, trois, quatre, foooo."
Phoenix said, counting down with a sigh and finally dragging down Edgeworth's boxers down, freeing his dih out in the week of our lord. The week of Narumitsu.
"W-wow. That shit could skewer Narancia."
Phoenix said as Edgeworth nodded proudly.
"I've trained it to twitch whenever someone lies."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix poked it.
"Can I try it out?"
Phoenix asked curiously as Edgeworth nodded.
"Nagito is the best character from Danganronpa."
Phoenix tested as Edgeworth's dick practically helicoptered off of his pelvis.
"W-woah! It actually works!"
Phoenix exclaimed as Edgeworth chuckled.
"So don't bother lying near me."
Edgeworth said as he snapped his fingers.
"Now suck."
Edgeworth commanded as Phoenix nodded.
This was it. This would get him the evidence he needed. And he couldn't pretend that he wasn't a LITTLE excited to taste Papi Edgeworth.
Phoenix leaned forward, slowly flicking Edgeworth's tip cause Phoenix is dainty and demure like that, taking a firm handful of each of Edgeworth's doughy cheeks, kneading them in his hands like they were Mariah's melons.
"Man.. I can see how you slept your way into getting evidence."
Phoenix said as he pulled away, leaving a NASTY drool trail of Edgeworth's dih as he shivered.
"Dammit Wright put your mouth back on my cock. I'm colder than Ghiacchio right now."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix nodded, moving further, grabbing Edgeworth's glorious dih to push it further into his mouth as Edgeworth groaned, rocking back and fourth.
"Oh that's right, Wright.. that's a bit confusing."
Edgeworth admitted as Phoenix just kept licking and flicking his tongue out like he was tasting Mista's glorious dick cheese.
...
Just me everybody?
Okay..
Phoenix bobbed his head back and fourth, his throat already loose from practicing his objections in the mirror. And Edgeworth was just eating it up.
"Ohhh Yesss! If you keep moving like that I'll have to update YOUR autopsy report!"
Edgeworth said, too focused on getting some good head to make any kind of sense as Phoenix just kept moving.
"That's right.. that's the spot Phoenix."
Edgeworth said as he buried his hand's in Phoenix's hair, just to get a cut on his finger from the sheer power of the quills.
"Ouchies! Wright! You gave me a... haircut."
(Badum tsk. Que the laughter)
"S-sorry. You know I use gorilla glue to keep this stuff sealed down, man!"
Phoenix said in his defense as Edgeworth scoffed.
"Just.. keep sucking on ma dih, okay Phoenix?"
Edgeworth commanded as Phoenix dove right back in.
Kinda like.. diver down.
By now, Edgeworth, who was being sucked off by Phoenix at the best of his abilities (bless his pour heart that mouth is built for objections) Phoenix awkwardly pulled away after realizing something was wrong.
"Uh.. Edgeworth? Why aren't you getting hard yet? You're not even at like.. a little half chub."
Phoenix whined as Edgeworth looked down.
"Do you.. want me to tell you the truth?"
Edgeworth asked as Phoenix nodded.
"Of ourse Edgeworth. I can't exactly just turn back right now, can I vro?"
Phoenix asked as Edgeworth looked away.
"Well... truth is.. I have trouble getting excited. Now don't get me wrong, whenever I see Mista I'm practically leaking out of my pants, but Manfred Von Karma traumatized me. He said that a trusty prosecutor is always hard and alert for battle.. including their dihs."
Edgeworth started as Phoenix frowned.
"Wait so you were.. taught to always be hard?"
Phoenix asked, sniffling at the potential dih abuse Edgeworth might have been put through as Edgeworth sighed.
"Well... the thing with that is.. I can only get hard if you act like Manfred."
Edgeworth said bluntly as Phoenix blinked.
"H-holy bazoonies."
Phoenix said, running his hand in his hair in shock before remembering that it was a BAD idea.
"Ow. Damn."
Phoenix said as he shook his hand.
"And.. you won't give me the evidence if I don't get you hard?"
Phoenix asked as Edgeworth shook his head.
"So I look like I do things halfway, Wright?"
Edgeworth said, raising and eyebrow as Phoenix groaned.
"Do I really need to act like that sack of grey pubes to get Edgeworth going?"
Phoenix asked himself as he looked back at Edgeworth whose face was red, hair undone, ass out and kind of gay.
"Fuck it. It's NaruMitsu week."
Phoenix said as he grabbed the toilet brush and smacked Edgeworth on the ass with it, because he assumed there was SOME kind of abuse happening in that household (cause where else did Franziska get that passion for whip smacking) and cleared his throat.
"Edgeworth. Pop that ass out for me son."
Phoenix said, mimicking Manfred's voice as Edgeworth IMMEDIATELY leant over the toilet.
"Y-yes Daddy."
Edgeworth relented as Phoenix's lower lip quivered.
"Awww. This is so gap moe. Your daddy issues are why you call yourself papi Edgeworth?"
Phoenix asked as Edgeworth fixed his glasses sheepishly.
"Don't make me divulge my daddy issues while I'm bent over your toilet, Wright."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix smacked his ass with the brush again, sending toilet water across his ass.
"That's Daddy to you."
Phoenix said, his voice akin to a forty year smoker as Edgeworth nodded.
"R-right Daddy."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix dipped his fingers in the soap on the counter as he had no lube on hand since it was too expensive nowadays.
"Get that perfect ass ready, Edgeworth."
Phoenix said, larping Von Karma as he inserted one finger into Edgeworth's ass as he shifted.
"I-is that all you think I can take, daddy?"
Edgeworth asked as Phoenix almost felt himself be possessed by the ghost of the goon, no Maya needed.
Now he needed to prove himself.
"Alright then. Get ready for 6 or 7."
Phoenix said, lubing his other fingers with soap as he pushed them into Edgeworth's asshole.
"A-aahhh~!"
Edgeworth squeaked, rocking back into Phoenix's hands as Phoenix tutted, using his third arm to smack Edgeworth's cheeks again
"You're being awfully loud Edgeworth. Don't worry, those sounds are perfect."
Phoenix said, saying Edgeworth's trigger word, perfect, as he squirted on Phoenix's toilet.
"M-My picture perfect squeaky clean toilet..."
Phoenix said weakly, but Edgeworth was just screaming, eyes rolling to the back of his head.
"I can't take it anymore Daddy! Give it to me!"
Edgeworth exclaimed as Phoenix puffed his cheeks out.
He GENUIENLY was starting to realize he wasn't built for this.
"Hope you're reading for this dih Edgeworth. Papi won't be gentle."
Phoenix said as he now donned the 'Papi' hat.
Edgeworth just nodded drunkenly, ass tooted up into the air, ready to accept the beauty that is NaruMitsu.
"Hope you're ready for a trip to fucktown, Edgeworth. Because I'm about to present some concealed evidence."
Phoenix said, dropping some absolute TRASH bars before grabbing his own cock and inserting it into Edgeworth.
"OHHH DADDY~!"
Edgeworth said, thrashing around like he had rabies, looking like Toko after spotting her master, sending shit crashing into Phoenix's toilet as he winced.
"Man.. it's going to take forever to clean that... Oh well, more toilet time!"
Phoenix said cheerfully, rocking his hips back and fourth, dipping in slowly because he GENUIENLY couldn't handle Edgeworth's waterslide at once.
Phoenix moved further and further in, feeling the clench of bussy on his dih, and it MIGHT have lowkirkueinly been better than presenting the right evidence, first try. 🥹✌️
"Oh yeah Edgeworth! Who's your daddy?! WHOSE YOUR DADDY?!"
Phoenix commanded, smacking and squeezing any pair of cheeks he could get his hand are.
"Y-you are, Papi Phoenix, you are!"
Edgeworth moaned as hearing his mere name coming from Edgeworth's mouth when usually, what came out was pure SLANDER did something to him.
His legs started shaking, his pre-coom leaking out of Edgeworth's asshole as it merged with Edgeworth's nut that was on the ground, combining to one nut creature and crawling away to escape.
"Oh hell yeah! I'm so ready for court!"
Phoenix said, flipping Edgeworth on his back like a good pancake as he delivered a firm SMACK to Edgeworth's tip, which was almost as red as his precious suit.
"D-daddy!"
Edgeworth exclaimed in shock as Phoenix grinned like the ALPHA.
"Oh, you like that Edgeworth?"
Phoenix asked smugly as Edgeworth nodded yes, like someone asked him if Mista was the tuffest and sexiest jojo character ever created.
"Well then, I might just have to do it again lil vro."
Phoenix said, doing some gang signs, dick-hard-no-jutsu Naruto style (Yall can tell I'm a larper) tugging and pulling his dih, twisting that shit like Geiru.
Edgeworth yelped as it felt like Phoenix had suddenly been possessed by the ghost of the goon.
But.. maybe a bit too loud because they suddenly felt someone thud their ear on the door as a voice boomed.
"E-Edgeworth! Pal?! A-are you okay?! Is that snake Phoenix in there with you?! H-he us.. distracted me but don't worry! If he's there I can break the door down!"
Gumshoe yelled as Edgeworth clenched his asshole around Phoenix's dih as he screamed, the clench was just TOO powerful.
"E-Edgeworth?! I'll get you out of there!"
Gumshoe said, thudding a heavy shoulder on the door as it came slamming down.
"FREEZE BUSTER IT'S THE... COCKS?!"
(Can we just give me a pat on the back for that pun?)
Gumshoe exclaimed, breaking into the scene of Edgeworth, ass tooted up, Phoenix inches in, wincing in pain and the whole bathroom being in a general mess.
"Not.. worth it.
Edgeworth said weakly as Gumshoe practically tackled Phoenix off of Edgeworth.
"And that's the proof that Maya did in fact NOT nuke Turkey!"
Phoenix exclaimed confidently, neck in a brace yet still slapping the fingerprint results down onto his desk just as powerfully as the judge *watches.*
"I must say Edgeworth.. this is some very compelling evidence! This flips the whole case onto its head! What do you have to say about this?"
The judge asked as Edgeworth's face fell.
"Not. Worth it..."
Edgeworth muttered, practically hearing the upcoming objection coming from Phoenix's lips.
"So much for his win streak.."
As the trial ended, Maya found herself in fact NOT on death row. Turns out, Dahlia, third returned and resurrected from the grave and nuked the entire country of Turkey on Phoenix's computer, trying to frame Phoenix but Maya just so happened to be in the office that day because she just had to scroll and Phoenix had that fast internet.
And as Maya and Phoenix chatted, Edgeworth approached them both, rubbing his arm.
"Wright.. no. Phoenix."
Edgeworth said as Phoenix turned to him stiffly, Gumshoe breaking his neck and all.
"Edgeworth... thank you for that evidence. If it wasn't for you we would have lost our token cheerful female assistant with some kind of power."
Phoenix said as Edgeworth nodded.
"Yes. I don't know how the fandom would have survived."
Edgeworth said with a small chuckle as Phoenix laughed, free as a... fuck it, free as a Phoenix. My fingers are tired, dammit.
"Now Edgeworth.. I haven't been able to thank you properly."
Phoenix said with a small smile, leaning in stiffly, delivering a kiss to Edgeworth's cheek as Edgeworth lifted his hand to cover it. Like it was something sacred.
"Hey! I didn't spend hours in prison for you two to share that pussy ass kiss! C'mon, make out you two!"
Maya said, pushing Edgeworth and Phoenix together as they stumbled, their lips meeting.
"Happy Narumitsu week, everyone!"
Maya exclaimed as my fingers sighed in relief.
The
end.