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"Cluesy~!" Sage shouted, pulling Recluse into a hug.
Recluse nudged him off, "Hi, Sage. Let yourself in, hm?"
Sage nodded.
"Again."
"Yeah."
Recluse tilted his head, "You know, maybe someone should be more careful with that. I could accidentally hit someone with a spell if I don't know who they are. Just saying."
Sage feigned being hurt, "Wow. You would attack me?! How could you even think to do so?"
"You know what I meant."
Sage tried to keep down a giggle, "No. No, I did not. Obviously, you simply hate me and would stab my guts out if I gave you the chance, hm?"
Recluse rolled his eyes, clearly trying to hide a smile, "Whatever. You staying here?"
"Mhm!"
Sage followed behind him while Recluse went about his day, rambling for hours about whatever had peaked his interest that day. It didn't matter to him if Recluse cared much or not, or even talked back. He didn't seem to mind him much, and even looked like he was listening most of the time.
He'd shut up if he wanted him to. It didn't matter. He just wanted to be around him, no matter what. He'd usually go quiet if Recluse didn't seem to want to listen, or even annoyed, but that didn't happen often.
Sage was going on about some complex spell he'd made, how it theoretically could be simplified, and how each change may affect what happened when Recluse interrupted him.
"What do you want from me?"
Sage tilted his head, "…I dunno. I just like talking to you."
Recluse scoffed, "You're practically talking at me."
"Oh I'm— sorry, you haven't interrupted me once, so— I thought— I can be quiet if you need me to!"
"That's not the point, just— Why do you want to talk to me?"
Recluse grabbed Sage's face, forcing him to look at him.
Gently. Witches, he was the most gentle cookie ever with everything he did.
Sage tried not to meet his eyes while he mumbled, "I don't know. I… just like being around you."
"That's not really an answer."
"…I guess you're… calmer than most cookies, most of the time. You're interesting to debate when you want to. And—interesting in general, really. And you— listen to me. Not cause you want something, at least I don't think that, you just listen. And uhm— Witches, I don't know how to explain this, but—"
"Aw, trying to tell me what I am, Sage~?"
Sage chuckled, "I— not what I meant. I really just can't explain it."
"Oh wow, first time you can't do that, hm?"
"No! I just— fine, answer is I love you, okay? That's— only way I can think to put it. So. I love you."
"That was obvious from you clinging to me."
"No— I mean I love you."
Sage finally met Recluse's eyes.
He didn't look mad. He looked like he was trying to be mad, and couldn't be.
"…What?" Sage mumbled, "Did I say something wrong?"
Recluse scoffed, "No you don't."
"I mean it, Cluse…"
Recluse shoved him away, "No, you. don't."
Sage frowned, "I—I promise I do."
"Shut up. Just shut it."
Sage grabbed his hand, "What— what did I do?!"
"I— you— stop. You don't get to— 'love' me."
"Why not? I—I do. You can't tell me I don't. I— know I do, I promise I've thought about it. I know I love you."
"I don't want you to."
Sage put his head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I— you don't have to love me— but I— I want you."
Recluse shoved him away again.
"I don't want you." he whispered, tears flooding his eyes as he forced them shut, "Just— leave me alone, please."
Sage whimpered, a pathetic little sound.
…Did he really not want him?
"What?!" Recluse shouted, his voice cracking, "I—I said—" he sobbed, "please leave me alone. Please."
"I thought you…"
Sage stepped away from him.
Recluse opened his eyes again, pulling his hands up like he wanted to grab Sage, but couldn't get himself to.
"Sage— wait, please I— I didn't mean—"
Sage rushed out of the room before he could finish. Recluse yelled something behind him, but he didn't know what.
He didn't care. He didn't even— it wasn't like he could make him change his mind.
He didn't want him. That was fine, it was his choice, right?
Sage slammed the door to the room Recluse let him stay in shut, then slid down it with a sob.
Why did he say that?
Why did he tell him that?
He pulled his monocle off, setting it down on the nightstand before practically falling into his bed.
…
What did he do wrong…?
Why didn't Recluse want him around? Was he being too pushy?
He'd… usually seemed happy around him, hadn't he?
Sure, they'd fought over a couple things before, but what made him not want him at all?
It was usually just misunderstandings. Recluse never really got mad at him, did he?.
So what did he do wrong?
…Maybe he was just that annoying. That was fine!
Even then, why didn't Recluse just… tell him that in the first place.
Was it really that he just didn't want him?
Was Sage really that bad?
He didn't know how he was supposed to fix it. He really didn't.
Maybe he should just get rid of himself. It probably wasn't a good idea to make that decision when he was so emotional, but—
He could ask him what he meant later, right? Whatever the problem was, he could fix it.
If Recluse still didn't want him, then he could do it later. That would be fine.
He just needed to go to sleep for a bit. They could talk about it in the morning. Sage would listen if he really didn't want him, but he could've just… been mad at him for some reason.
He latched onto a pillow as tight as he could, forcing his eyes shut.
He wanted Recluse so bad. He wanted to cling onto him. He didn't care if Recluse hated him. He just wanted to stay around him.
He just wanted him. He didn't know why. He wanted him more than he wanted anyone.
His ear twitched, finally noticing the rain hitting the window.
…Was it thundering? Witches, please, don't let it be thundering.
Sage waited. Just… waited to see if he heard it.
He fell asleep waiting.
Sage woke up to his door being opened, letting out a groan at the light hitting his eyes.
"…Cluesy?" Sage mumbled, looking up at him.
He couldn't see Recluse that well, considering the lights were off, and his 'good' eye was shoved in the pillow. He could tell it was him, though.
What did he want?
Recluse crawled into the bed, holding himself above Sage.
Sage rolled over onto his back, blinking up at him.
"Hey Rere…"
"Hi Bluebird."
…Maybe he overreacted to what he said. Maybe he meant something else.
Sage giggled, wrapping his arms around Recluse's back.
"Aw, you never use nicknames for me. You need something?"
"Do you trust me?"
"…Yeah. Yea— why?"
"Can you close your eyes for a moment?"
Sage complied, forcing his eyes shut.
"Why do you want me to do this?"
"Trying something."
"…Okay. You're— acting a bit weird."
"Really?" Recluse said, casting a spell Sage didn't care to identify.
"Yeah you'd… usually tell me what you're doing, you know."
"Hm."
"…What are you—"
Sage screamed, his nails digging into Recluse's back.
"Recluse— what the fuck—" Sage coughed out blood.
Recluse shoved a knife through his chest.
He tried not to freak out, "Cluse— why did—"
Recluse didn't respond with more than a small smile.
Sage whined.
He couldn't even tell exactly where he stabbed him. It hurt so bad. His entire chest just hurt.
Sage's hands slipped off Recluse's back.
Recluse still hadn't pulled the knife back out. It shifted every time Sage drew in a breath, refusing to let the pain stop.
"You look so cute like this, Sage."
Sage looked up at him through tears, whining again.
"Cu—" He coughed again, blood dripping out of his mouth, the blue staining the pillow below him, "Cute?"
Recluse grabbed his cheek, smearing the blood up toward his eye.
"Adorable."
Sage didn't— couldn't say anything, just coughing into Recluse's hand.
Why was he letting him do this?
Why wasn't he fighting him?
"It hurts— please, Rere, make it— stop."
"You're alright Sage. You're going to be fine."
"…why— why would you— you do this to me?"
"You know you deserve it," Recluse replied immediately, "You've always deserved this."
Recluse sounded like he was waiting to say that.
He moved up, pressing his forehead against Sage's again.
Sage's breath sped up. It hurt to breathe. So bad. It really, really hurt to breathe.
Recluse wanted to do this to him.
And he was right.
Sage did deserve it.
He still didn't want it.
Did he?
Maybe he did. He didn't know.
When did Recluse pull away from him?
Recluse twisted the knife around as slow as he could.
Sage screamed, trying to squirm away from him.
"STOP— RE— STOP!"
"Bluebird…"
He pulled the knife back out, making the pain feel only a little duller.
Sage still yelped.
He had to force his way through every single breath he took.
Why couldn't he just breathe?
"You know nothing will change when you're gone."
Recluse laid his head on Sage's chest, his blood coating his cheek.
He wanted Recluse to stay close to him. He loved being this close. Loved him putting his face against his over and over. Loved how he wouldn't take his eyes off him.
"…I still want you," Sage mumbled, a thought that slipped out.
Recluse didn't say anything back, his gaze jumping to Sage's throat.
His eyes looked so empty. Like he wasn't even himself at all.
Recluse picked the knife up again, pushing it to Sage's neck.
He stared straight into his eyes, waiting for him to react.
"…Rere— don't— please don't—"
"We both know you deserve this, Sage."
"Please, just don't—"
Recluse sighed, resting his head against Sage's shoulder.
Sage whimpered, "I—I love— love you."
Recluse lifted his head up, "What do you want out of saying that, hm?"
"I want you—" he coughed, having to force himself to keep talking, "you to— know that."
"Are you sure that's it~?"
Sage attempted to sigh. He just coughed into Recluse's hair instead.
Why was it taking so long for him to just die?
"…I want you— you to— love me."
Recluse hummed, "I don't."
"…I—"
Sage coughed again, Recluse forcing a hand over his mouth, waiting until he stopped coughing.
"I know that."
Recluse tilted his head, "So what? You want me to play pretend? Kiss you, or something?"
Sage nodded.
"Really? You don't care if I'm being honest? Just— want to be kissed?"
Recluse pushed a kiss to his lips, licking the blood out of Sage's mouth.
Sage wanted to grab him, and pull him closer and closer and closer, even if it was stupid to want and just a lie.
His lips felt so warm, and gentle, and Sage just wanted him to stay, even if he was going to keep hurting him.
Recluse pulled back, rubbing more blood off Sage's cheek. Gently. Too gently.
Why was he being so gentle if he wanted him dead?
"Sage?"
Sage whined, barely managing to keep his eyes focused on him.
"I'll miss you, you know."
"…then why—" Sage was interrupted by Recluse forcing a hand over his mouth again.
"Does it matter why? Maybe I'm only saying that because I know what you'd want to hear, hm? It's not like I'm the 'honest' one here."
Sage didn't try to fight him, just forcing his eyes shut.
Recluse finally brought the knife back to his neck, adding more and more pressure, as if trying to test when and how Sage would react.
Sage whined, tensing as much as he could before Recluse pulled the knife away, leaving only a tiny cut.
He put a hand over the cut before pressing a kiss to the side of Sage's neck, as soft as he'd always been in the small moments of touch he'd given Sage before.
Sage didn't care. He did— he wanted him to so bad, but he just— couldn't breathe.
Recluse pulled away again, just lying down beside him for a moment.
He was covered in Sage's blood.
It wasn't like there was anything that wasn't.
He wouldn't stop bleeding.
Recluse pushed himself off the bed, hardly sparing Sage another glance.
…Was he leaving? He couldn't just— leave— He didn't want him to—
Sage whined.
He wanted him to stay. Even if he was going to tear him apart, he just wanted him, even if he just stayed to watch him die, he didn't care.
He just wanted Recluse to stay for him, just until he was gone.
He wanted Recluse.
He wanted to cuddle him.
Recluse didn't have to stay until he was dead.
Just until he wasn't conscious anymore.
He didn't want to die alone.
Proofread sec.
Recluse flinched at Sage's door slamming just around the corner.
"…Damn it."
He really didn't mean it.
He didn't mean to say that he didn't want him.
Why did he have to cut himself off like that? He couldn't have just added one more word?
…Sage obviously didn't want to talk to him.
Recluse sighed, turning away toward his own room.
He shouldn't have overreacted like… that. He should've just— told him that he was—
He didn't know what he felt.
He didn't deserve for Sage to love him like that.
He'd gotten used to Sage following him around. He knew Sage liked being around him by now, even if he hated how clingy he was. He was only doing it because he didn't want Recluse to be alone. Recluse let him because he acted like a kicked puppy when he didn't, and that… hurt.
He didn't think he'd love him in that way. Just—
Sage was only around him in the first place for the purpose of persuading him to the truth, right? And then they started liking each other more, and then they'd been friends and…
And then Sage started loving him romantically, and was comfortable enough to tell him. And Recluse screamed at him.
Why did he have to fuck it up?
Recluse didn't want to hurt him. He would never do that on purpose.
So why did he yell?!
…Sage didn't even need him to say it back. Or even— love him like that.
He said he didn't need that.
And Recluse still managed to screw it up. He should've just corrected himself.
He should've calmed himself down before he even said something like that.
Recluse hesitated in front of his own door.
He wanted to go check on Sage, but he knew he'd only escalate it more. Sage didn't need him right now. He needed to be alone.
Recluse went into his room, pulling most of the extra layers he wore off before he went to bed.
…
He just wanted to know if Sage was alright, really.
Recluse glanced toward the window, noticing the raindrops hitting against it.
At least it wasn't thundering. Sage wouldn't admit it, but he was obviously scared of thunderstorms. Every time he'd been around him while one was going on, he'd started sobbing.
He'd hate to know he had to deal with Recluse yelling and one of the storms.
Recluse grabbed the plushie he had of Sage.
He'd made it for him when they 'officially' became friends. Something about Sage being worried about him being alone most of the time, and wanting to remind him he cared.
Recluse didn't really care for it when Sage gave it to him. He'd made sure to be careful with it, of course, but it wasn't something he thought much of.
It was a bit odd to have a tiny plushie of his… friend, but he didn't really care. If Sage wanted to show his affection in that way, who cared?
Recluse pulled it close to his chest. It felt so stupid, and really weird to do, but…
He didn't know if he loved him in the same way or not.
He wanted to love him like that.
Maybe he did. He didn't know.
…Even if he did, he really didn't want to— hurt him.
Sage didn't seem to mind being hurt. From everything he'd heard from him— and a couple of things Recluse did before, he didn't care when someone hurt him.
He didn't care whether or not Recluse apologized to him. He'd probably let him kill him if he tried.
He was only going to get him hurt. One way or another, he'd end up doing something stupid and then Sage would get hurt, and he'd still love him like a puppy.
The solution to that was just not to hurt him— obviously— but—
Sage shouldn't be attached to him like that.
…
Why was this so fucking difficult?
Sage wasn't going to leave him. Not unless Recluse really fucked up or he made him.
That wasn't what he wanted to do. He didn't want to make him have to leave, he just… didn't want to risk hurting him on accident.
He didn't know if knew how to be… okay enough with him. He wasn't even okay alone.
He'd already hurt himself.
Recluse sighed, sitting up with the plushie still in his arms.
He wanted really hold Sage, he wanted to tell him that he didn't mean to say any of that. That he just wanted to stay with him without either of them getting hurt.
He just— it wasn't like they'd argued much as friends, but being together like that would be different.
…and Recluse was the only one who caused the arguments. He'd always escalate things as much as he could.
He wasn't sure how to deescalate.
…Maybe he just needed to listen better. He didn't know.
He wanted to love him.
He just didn't know what that was supposed to mean.
Or how he was supposed to love him.
He didn't want to die alone—
Sage yelped, nearly throwing himself out of the bed.
What the hell—
What—
Sage glanced at the room around him, trying to figure out what was going on.
It was still night, and it was still raining, and he was still alone, and…
He was still alive.
He put a hand on his chest, trying to see if he was injured.
And then summoned a light spell, checking if there was any blood in his bed.
There wasn't.
…was it a nightmare?
He was drenched in sweat.
So— it probably didn't happen. It was just a nightmare.
…so why did it feel so real?
Even if that was a dream, Recluse still said he didn't want him.
Sage didn't want to be here, either.
He slid the door to the balcony open, staring at the ground below him.
Recluse might not have tried to kill him, but if he really didn't—
He still should ask him. He should check if that's what he meant.
But, even if he didn't, Sage wanted to be dead. He'd tried so many times before.
He pushed himself up to sit on the railing.
He wanted to just throw himself off right now, but maybe Recluse didn't mean it, or something.
…What else did he mean, then?
Sage stepped back inside, summoning a pen and paper and scribbling out something. About how he felt and what he was doing and—
Sage didn't really care what happened to himself. He wanted Recluse to know what happened. It wasn't like Recluse was going to care, but it didn't matter. He wanted to tell him, somehow.
He still loved him, obviously. He still wanted to stay with him. He still wanted to love him, even if Recluse… didn't.
He hardly thought— or, tried to avoid thinking— about what he wrote, just… rambling some apology, something about how he'd felt like this before and Recluse didn't really cause it, just… whatever.
It didn't matter.
He folded up the paper, leaving it on the nightstand and going back outside.
He stood on the railing, trying to estimate if the height would actually kill him or just injure him.
It would be… embarrassing if he just got injured and Recluse had to deal with him.
…It should work, right?
Recluse knocked on Sage's door, "Sage?"
He didn't hear a response.
He sighed, trying his best to keep his tone gentle, "…If you don't say anything, I—I'm coming in to check on you!"
Still nothing.
Recluse nudged the door open, glancing around Sage's room.
He wasn't there. Did he go home? Good. He should've gone home.
Recluse stepped toward the nightstand, pulling a note Sage had left on it off.
He squinted at the cursive print, summoning a small light spell and opening the eyes of his staff.
…
"What the hell— Sage?!"
Recluse stepped out on the balcony, still not spotting him anywhere.
Shit.
…Recluse might as well have killed him.
No. No, he— he couldn't be dead.
Recluse put a hand to his soul jam, feeling Sage's respond to his thoughts.
It was messy and weak, but there.
He still had to be alive.
He turned around immediately, rushing down to find Sage.
He shouldn't have said anything to him.
That— them fighting— or Recluse yelling didn't matter, did it? He just needed to make sure he was okay.
Recluse tried to follow wherever his soul jam told him to go until he found Sage.
He didn't seem to respond when Recluse ran over to his side.
"Hey— Sage, you're okay, come here—"
Recluse put a hand on his chest, earning a little whine from Sage.
"I—I'm gonna heal you, okay? It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay."
He grabbed Sage's hand, using his other to heal whatever was hurt.
Sage kept whining at the pain of Recluse's touch, and being healed, probably.
Recluse tried to keep his voice soft, despite how he was shaking, "It's alright, Bluebird. I'm going to make sure you're okay."
Sage coughed up blood, the rainwater washing it off his face.
Recluse healed him just enough to be able to pick him up before carrying him back inside.
"Sage? Can you speak to me? Please?"
Sage whined, his hands gripping onto him slightly tighter, probably as tight as he could.
"…Okay, uhm— I can—" Recluse put him down on the floor, putting a pillow under Sage's legs.
"You want me to keep healing you— or, no— of course you wouldn't— just— I'm going to, okay?"
Sage nodded, practically staring through him.
Recluse kept trying to heal him, trying to reassure him that it was okay, that he was going to be fine.
He hoped what he said was true.
Recluse kept talking to him, trying to make sure he didn't fall asleep.
"I— I'm sorry for what I said."
Sage tilted his head, letting out a little whimper.
"I— I cut myself off, but I meant to say that— I meant to say I don't want you to get hurt. I'm sorry, Sage, I really didn't mean it—"
Sage giggled. He was crying, but he giggled.
Recluse put his forehead against Sage's, his hand coming up as well to heal a gash on his head.
"Please don't leave me. I love you. I don't— really know if I do like that yet but— I just— I love you so much. Please."
He was being pathetic. He'd already healed the major injuries, Sage shouldn't die.
Unless he'd already lost too much blood. It wasn't like he had any idea whether or not he had.
He might've lost too much already. There wasn't a spell or anything to tell.
Sage smiled, wrapping his hands around Recluse's back, trying to pull him closer to him.
Recluse pulled back, trying to check Sage wasn't still injured too badly anywhere.
He had a couple minor bruises and cuts, but nothing that could kill him.
Probably.
"Okay, uhm— you should mostly be okay now, you'll need to rest for a bit, though. Can you stand?"
Recluse stood up, offering Sage a hand.
Sage latched onto him, putting his weight on him entirely.
"…Okay, you know what, I'll just—"
Recluse one arm behind Sage's shoulders and the other under his legs, lifting him to carry up the stairs.
"Re—!"
"I'm not letting you try to walk up the stairs, Milk."
Sage pouted, though he didn't try to fight him.
"…We should probably get cleaned up a bit."
"I can't," Sage mumbled.
"Well— well, I guess we could— take a bath together? Would be quicker…"
Sage's face flushed, "I— I…guess we— could."
"Alright."
He hated knowing Sage's blood was on his hands.
Why did he do that?
Why did he think he deserved that?
Why did he think Recluse wanted that to happen?
Recluse nudged the door to the bathroom open. Sage squirmed out of his arms, managing to stand by leaning against the wall.
"You alright?" Recluse asked, turning the warm water on.
"Mhm…"
Recluse pulled out a couple of towels, summoning himself clothes and… something for Sage. He wasn't really sure if he'd wear it or not. He could always give him something else if he didn't like it.
…This was really weird to do, wasn't it?
Whatever. Both of them were covered in blood, and Sage could barely stay on his feet.
Was he even able to tell what was going on enough to know what they were doing?
"Sage?"
"Hm?"
"Do you remember what's going on?"
"Uh… I… I hurt myself an' now you're— well we uh—"
Sage stumbled, Recluse grabbing onto him immediately.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, uh so— we're taking a bath cause I… we're both covered in my blood and… dirt. or— mud. Lot of mud. Why?"
"Yea. Just checking how out of it you are."
"Hey… I'm not out of anything! I… I'm fine— I think?"
Recluse scoffed, "Oh dear, I think you hit your head too hard."
"What?!"
"Well, you're clearly not fine," Recluse giggled, nudging his shoulder.
"Hmph. Least I recover quick."
"Sure, darling. Not like I had to heal you, or anything."
Sage went silent, just… staring at him.
"What is it?"
"I love you…" Sage mumbled, nestling into his shoulder.
"Yeah? That's sweet."
Sage let out a little whine.
"What do you what?"
Sage pushed away a little bit, refusing to meet his eyes.
"I dunno. I want you to say it back, kinda, but—"
"…I love you too, Sage."
Recluse allowed him to lean against the counter, turning the water off.
"You wanna get undressed yet?" Recluse asked
Sage tugged at his shirt, hardly coordinated as he tried to get it off.
Right. Obviously couldn't do magic.
"Need help?"
"Noooo!" Sage whined, still trying to tug it off clumsily.
"Can I help you?"
Sage stared at him, letting the shirt fall back on his body, "…Fine."
Recluse stepped toward him, pulling his shirt off much more easily than Sage could've.
Sage pulled away from him as soon as it was off, holding his hands behind his back.
"Sage?"
"Hm?"
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
Sage nodded.
He leaned against the wall again, "Give me a minute. I— do you have to watch me?"
Recluse looked away, starting to rinse his hands in the sink.
"No. But— you do know we're both getting in the bath together, right? At least— uhm— if you're comfortable with it."
"Mhm."
Recluse glanced toward his arms anxiously.
Sage probably wasn't going to mind, right? Most of the scars he had healed, anyway.
Recluse took his own clothes off, glancing back toward Sage.
"…do you want to do this?" Sage mumbled.
"Yeah."
Recluse offered him a hand, Sage taking it and latching onto him.
Recluse stepped into the bath first, Sage staying attached to him.
"Sage."
"Hm?"
"…You know we have to get cleaned up, right? You can't be right against me the whole time."
"Mmm…"
Sage pushed himself a little further away, allowing Recluse to splash some water on his face, scrubbing the blood off with a bit of soap.
"'m sorry," Sage mumbled, leaning into the touch, "I love you."
"Love you too," Recluse stated, starting to try cleaning Sage's arms before Sage flinched away.
"DON'T—!"
Recluse flinched. He didn't know why Sage yelled all of the sudden.
Did he hurt him?
"Please don't," Sage whined, pushing him as far from Recluse as possible.
"Is your arm okay?"
"I— yeah."
"…Can I see it?"
Sage whined, trying to keep him away.
"I'll clean myself," Sage mumbled, shoving his arms behind his back again.
"Sage. Let me see, please."
Sage shook his head, "You're not looking at my arms."
"Why not?"
"…"
Sage put an arm toward him, letting out a whine.
He had similar scars to Recluse's own.
And cuts.
…He probably didn't want to tell him yet, did he?
That was why he wouldn't let him see his arms, wasn't it?
Recluse didn't point them out, just cleaning the blood and dirt off him.
Sage whimpered, trying to pull back.
"Sage. I have to clean your arm, please stop."
He froze, though his entire arm was shaking
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
Sage opened his eyes again, noticing that Recluse didn't have a reaction to the scars.
"Can I see your other arm?"
"I— I can probably clean myself you know. I feel better than… when we came in here."
Recluse tilted his head, "It's weird how quick you recovered. Even if I healed you."
"Ah— well, I guess my body's uhm— used to it? Tried that before."
"…Oh."
Sage stammered, "I— It was a while ago— when I was— it doesn't matter, just— don't worry about me, okay? I don't need help that bad."
Recluse leaned in closer to him, "Maybe I like helping you like this."
Sage's face turned bright blue, "Uh, well— back up, please."
Recluse giggled, pulling away from him.
"Love you, Sage."
"…You're being weirdly affectionate."
Recluse looked away, "I just want you to know that. Is it okay with you for me to say that?"
"mhm."
Sage managed to scrub the rest of the blood off himself, then frowned, grabbing his hair.
"…Rere?"
Recluse was midway through shampooing his own hair, turning to him, "Hm?"
"…I— could you wash my hair? Can't reach it well."
"Sure."
Sage turned around, allowing Recluse to clean his hair.
Recluse dumped shampoo into his hair, trying his best to be gentle with him.
He wanted to ask about the scars and cuts on Sage's arms, if the way he got there was the same as he thought.
…He should probably wait until they got out.
Recluse summoned a cup, filling it with water.
"Lean your head back."
"Why?"
"So you don't get soap in you eyes, idiot."
Sage giggled, "Ooohhh! Yeah."
Recluse sighed, dumping the water over Sage's hair.
"Sooo what are we?" Sage asked.
Recluse grabbed the conditioner, putting it on his own hair first, "What do you mean?"
"Well like— are we still friends or partners or what?"
He rinsed it out of his hair, "I don't know. Can't I think about it a bit longer? I just— I don't know if I love you like that. Don't know how to tell that."
"Ookay!"
He put it on Sage's hair and rinsed it out next, then started draining the water, both of them getting out of the bath.
Sage grabbed a towel, wrapping it around himself and sitting on the floor.
Recluse started drying his own hair, passing the clothes he'd grabbed earlier to Sage.
Sage glanced at the shirt, "Uhm— do you have anything with longer sleeves? S-sorry, I should've asked if—"
"It's fine."
Recluse summoned a white sweater with rainbow stripes on it, passing it over to him.
"Thanks," Sage mumbled, slipping it on over his head, avoiding looking toward Recluse.
Recluse put on a black t-shirt and shorts, glancing toward Sage, who was still sitting under a towel like a blanket.
"Want me to step out while you get dressed?"
"Mhm."
"Right. Call me if you need anything, okay?"
"Alright."
Recluse stepped out, shutting the door behind him and waiting for Sage to come out.
…Witches, he hoped Sage was okay.
He didn't want to see him hurt himself.
He especially didn't want him dead.
Did Sage really think he wanted that?
Sage stumbled out of the door, latching onto Recluse immediately.
"Whoa— you okay?"
"Yeah. Uhm— can I go to bed now?"
"Mhm."
Recluse walked with him to his room, Sage hesitating before he went in.
"Cluse?"
"Hm?"
"Can uhm— can you cuddle with me, and like— sleep in my bed? Please?"
Recluse's face flushed, "Uh— sure."
Sage tugged him along with him, curling up around Recluse as soon as he was in his bed.
Recluse chuckled, "What, you need me this bad?"
"…No. I—I'm fine with being alone. But I want you."
"Alright."
Sage tilted his head, "Can I kiss you?"
"Uh— what?"
"I want to kiss you."
"…I don't really— want to, but—"
"Okay then, don't gotta," Sage said, snuggling into his shoulder.
He looked so cute like this.
Sage always seemed a little uncomfortable with being vulnerable. He had every reason to be, but it was adorable when he let his guard down, and just… let himself be.
Sage giggled, "You know, I had a really bad nightmare earlier."
"What was it?"
"I— well, you were upset with me, and so I think I jumped to the worst situation in my head, but— but you tried to uhm— kill me?"
Recluse didn't respond, allowing Sage to continue.
"And uhm— it was weird, because I just wanted you to stay even though you— uhm, nightmare you— tried to kill me. Like— I just wanted you to stay close to me. I don't know. And then you just— left?"
Sage looked up at him, as if waiting for him to take a turn to speak.
Recluse furrowed his brow. Did he think he would do that? That he wanted that to happen?
"I wouldn't do that. I promise, Sage, I hate the idea of it at all."
"I know! I just… it felt weird that I wanted you to stay so badly.
"Look at me," Recluse said, forcing Sage to pull back and look him in the eyes.
"I… I understand you want to be close to me, but I don't want you to stay if I hurt you like that."
Sage giggled, "But if you did I'd die."
"You know what I mean, just— if I hurt you in like— a similar way to that— even if it's not physical, or anything— just— don't try to stay close to me. I don't want you to get hurt.
"Uh-huh… I know you don't want—"
"And if I do anything to hurt you, just— please tell me."
"…Okay. I love you, Rere."
"I love you too."
Sage glanced away, "Did you uhm— look at my arms much when—"
"Mhm. I didn't want to point it out while you were stuck in there with me."
"…oh. So— you know that there are uhm— scars there."
"Mhm. I noticed the cuts, too."
"…Sorry."
"It's fine. I… I assume you did it to yourself?"
"Yeah."
Recluse chuckled, "Have you even noticed I have scars from that too?"
"…No."
"I just— I get it, I guess. You can talk to me if you need to. Might be worried, but I won't get mad."
"…Do you still do that?" Sage asked, tilting his head.
"Yeah," Recluse mumbled, "Yeah, sometimes. I know I shouldn't."
"Well— maybe we can talk to each other when we feel like that then? I… it's already part of the reason I cling to you, you know."
"Mhm. Guess we could do that, then. You feeling alright, Sage?"
"Yeah. I'm… I'm still upset, I guess, still kinda want to die, but… at least you want me, right?"
"Of course I want you. Would've made you leave a while ago if I didn't."
Sage nestled back into his shoulder. He was purring.
Since when could he do that?
Recluse felt his face flush, letting out a sigh.
At least Sage was happy for now. That meant everything was okay, right?
He just wanted to make him happy.
"I love you so much," Sage mumbled, "You're a lot nicer than you think you are, Rere."
"I know. Love you too."
Sage fell asleep within a few minutes, the purring slowing down to a stop.
Recluse adjusted his head in an attempt to make sure he didn't accidentally suffocate Sage in his sleep.
He didn't know why Sage was so comfortable with him. But he loved being around him. He wanted to keep him safe.
He just had to make sure not to hurt him. He wouldn't hurt him. He didn't care if Sage thought it was okay.
He would make sure he was okay. He had to.
…That both of them were okay.