Chapter Text
This is how it all starts:
The nails of Willow's fingers are painted a beautiful shade of yellow, warm and bright, like a sunflower or a dandelion– but Michelle can hardly focus on guessing the exact shade.
Not when those same fingers are currently shoved deep inside her, moving in a steady rhythm and with a type of precision, that could only have been aquired through years of Willow using her hands to draw and paint regularly. Daily, even.
It makes Michelle's head spin.
She doesn't even know how or why exactly it all happened. It's all a blur now.
It had been just the two of them, on an early spring afternoon.
There had been giggling and playful fighting on the floor of the basement. Michelle having to hold her sides from how hard she was laughing.
She had leaned back against her best friend, who was sitting behind her, trying to catch her breath. Her head had been on Willow's shoulder, her body relaxing into her, face turned to look at her pretty smile and then–
A kiss. A short, soft kiss on the lips and Willow's wide surprised eyes.
Michelle had not expected it, hadn't been the one to initiate it, even though Willow's expression could have made it seem so. She had thought of doing it a lot lately–kiss Willow–but she had never been brave enough to actually go through with it.
A second kiss had followed, Willow's hand on her jaw, Michelle craning her neck to meet Willow's lips, and then a third.
The fourth kiss had moved away from Michelle's lips and to her cheek. Then along her cheekbone, her jaw, under her jaw and down the side of her neck, Willow's hand guiding her face in whichever direction she needed for best access.
Michelle had gasped, inhaled sharply at the sensations, delicate and sure, making her heart beat faster.
Willow had let go of her face, her mouth staying on her neck for a while, letting Michelle wonder if she was actually just dreaming all of this with how close it was to, admittedly, a lot of her dreams.
There had been a new sensation, on the spot between her neck and her shoulder. Long and hard, more sucking than kissing.
Definitely not a dream.
And at the same time there had also been Willow's pretty fingers, ghosting all over Michelle's body. Over her hands, her arms, her shoulders, her back, her waist and hips, the parts of her legs Willow could reach from behind Michelle.
"Is this okay?" Willow had asked against her skin and all Michelle had been able to do was nod.
Because it was driving her a little crazy.
All of it.
The way Willow, seated behind her, had hummed and pressed closer, wrapped her arms around Michelle's sides and pulled up her sweater with one hand, to softly brush her other hand over Michelle's exposed stomach.
The way her fingers had moved down and down until they reached the waistband of her jeans, hesitantly playing with it for a few seconds–giving Michelle the possibility to tell her to stop–before then slowly unbuttoning her jeans and almost painfully slowly pulling down the zipper, the sound of it loud in the quiet room.
The way Willow had taken off both of the rings she always wore and set them down on the floor, next to Michelle's hips.
The way she had taken her time, slowly dragging her fingers over the newly exposed skin of her hip and then tapping them along the strip of skin under Michelle's belly button.
It was excruciating and exciting at the same time, making Michelle forget how to breathe one second and then breathe fast and heavy the next.
Willow's touch had been so light, it almost could have been just an imagination.
But it definitely had not just been in Michelle's imagination.
The touch had made her shiver and it had been very real.
Michelle knew that for a fact, because she had watched her as she felt it.
Michelle had watched Willow's hand on her stomach with wide eyes, the way it was tracing the hem of her underwear, and then she had watched Willow's yellow fingernails slowly disappear behind the blue fabric of her panties.
She had watched and felt Willow's warm hand, flat on her, move further down, gently drag along her sensitive skin and all of the little hairs that nobody ever saw, except Michelle herself.
Michelle's breath shaky, her face feeling so hot and she had stared at the way Willow's whole hand had slowly but surely disappeared into her underpants, until the only thing still visible was the watch Willow always wore on her wrist.
And then Michelle had really felt them. Willow's fingers.
It had been a little strange at first, having somebody else's fingers touching her in such an intimate place. Having them move further down, push against her and gently feel around, trying to find the places she liked. Trying to figure out what made her squirm, spread her legs, silently begging for more–
But then again it was Willow and Michelle knew Willow. They both knew each other so well. In that moment Michelle wouldn't have wanted anybody else to be the first person touching her there.
Willow had, again, taken her sweet time with it all, touching lightly at first, almost teasing her, and then pushing down more firmly, really letting Michelle feel her soft fingertips. Michelle had started breathing more unevenly and a little shallow, her heart beating faster–so fast, as she had felt a heat spread between her legs, that didn't just come from Willow's fingers being warm.
It was a heat she had obviously felt before, even though it had never been caused by somebody else touching her in the same place, that the feeling itself came from.
Especially not Willow.
Although Michelle had to admit, that Willow was who she thought about most, whenever she touched herself, late at night and in the safety of darness. Hidden under her own blanket, her thoughts felt secret, for nobody else to see.
She had always felt a little bit bad about it, for more than one reason, but especially since she felt like she was involving Willow in something, that she was sure Willow wouldn't have liked.
It was a little bit ironic, really, Willow touching her now, so sure and unashamed. It made Michelle's stomach flip and her skin burn under Willow's hands.
It's a little dizzying, the way Willow touches Michelle. Gentle, but firm, in a way that makes Michelle loose control over her limbs a little bit. Suddenly feeling so very willing and ready to make as much space for Willow's fingers as possible. To touch her more and touch deeper.
She makes a small noise that feels too loud in the quiet of the basement and then Willow has already found the spot she must have been looking for.
She circles it, presses down on it and Michelle closes her eyes, supresses a moan, involuntarily spreading her legs. She opens them wider, asking Willow to do something to Michelle that she is craving now.
She's too embarrassed and occupied with everything Willow happening to her to find the right words for it, but luckily Willow is so smart and understands–
Having somebody else's fingers inside of her body is an entirely different experience for Michelle.
For a second, right before it happened, she feared that she might not like it, that it could feel too weird and unfamiliar or out of place.
But it really doesn't.
Willow is so careful with her, feeling around to find her entrance, then taking only her middle finger–already slick from how quickly all of this has made Michelle really wet–and slowly pushing it inside.
It makes Michelle moan embarrassingly loudly, uncontrolled, and she pushes her own hips forward, trying to get Willow to push her finger in deeper.
Willow does just that, steadying Michelle with one hand on her hip, as her other hand slides down deeper into her pants and her finger slides deeper inside Michelle.
When they've both gotten used to the new position, Willow starts moving her finger in and out slowly, again and again and that might have been the first moment in her life, where Michelle truely lost any thought she has ever had, making her brain go completely quiet.
Just buzzing white noise and Willow's finger.
It feels incredible.
And Michelle feels everything.
Willow's warm breath on her neck and her hair tickling the exposed part of her shoulder and collarbone. She feels Willow's chest and stomach, pressed up against her back, breathing slow and heavy.
She feels Willow's leg that's propped up against her and her knee gently digging into her side. Even her foot that's pushed slightly underneath Michelle's thigh.
She feels Willow's hand on her waist, her thumb slowly tracing circles into Michelle's skin, soothing her as Willow's other hand does a little bit of the opposite.
And of course Michelle feels her fingers–fingers, as in plural–because Willow has pulled her hand away and her finger out just a little, only to add a second finger, her ring finger. She pushes both of them back inside Michelle, slow and careful not to hurt her.
Michelle leans her head back onto Willow's shoulder as she arches her back and tries desperately to stifle another moan. Next to her face, right at her ear she hears Willow chuckle quietly and she feels it on her skin and her back. The sound, the vibration of it, moves throughout Michelle's whole body and then it focuses back onto where Willow's fingers move steadily, hot and wet, curling inside of her.
"Are you-" Michelle gasps as Willow pushes her fingers deeper inside "-making fun of me?"
She's so out of breath already that it really should be embarrassing. But she doesn't feel embarrassed, not even at the thought that Willow could possibly find this funny, because it's just too damn hot and Willow's laugh turns her on way too much.
There is no room for any doubt when all the space inside of Michelle is taken up by Willow's fucking fingers. Willow's well trained fingers slowly fucking into her, deep and hot.
Willow lets out another breathy laugh and it does something to Michelle.
"No, I just–"
She pulls her fingers out a little just so she she can push them in again, using a little more force this time, making Michelle let out a choked sound of pleasure.
"–I'm just really enjoying myself too."
Michelle can hear the little smirk on Willow's lips, in the way Willow's voice sounds next to her ear and it makes even more heat spread between her legs. Willow's fingers didn't even have to do much to get Michelle all worked up over this. She feels a little crazy realizing that.
Michelle spreads her legs a little wider and suddenly wishes she wasn't wearing jeans. They feel a little tight, now that Willow's hand has to fit inside them as well.
Those jeans in particular are also just not made for too much movement. They're mostly made for looking pretty while standing and bending down and to look hot infront of a girl you like. At least that's why Michelle wore them. They were certainly not made for spreading your legs wide open, to give more access to the fingers currently figuring out what places to hit, to make the person wearing the jeans see stars.
Willow will figure it out though, Michelle is sure of that. Still she wishes that she had at least had the forethought to pull them down and over her butt so they wouldn't be so distractingly and annoyingly tight–
The next second all if this doesn't matter anymore because Willow finds the right spot inside of her–of course she was going to find it–and when she hits it Michelle's hips involuntarily lift off the ground for a second, chasing the feeling and Willow's fingers.
She has to close her eyes as she throws her head back and the sound that comes from her throat–choked and absolutely wrecked–is one she probably couldn't replicate, even if she tried. Only if it was prompte by Willow's fingers hitting that same spot again.
Which they then immediately do.
Michelle should have seen it coming, really, she doesn't know why she hadn't thought of it before.
Because this is Willow. Willow sitting behind her, Willow with her arm wrapped around her side, Willow who has been drawing and painting daily for at least 14 years now.
Willow, who knows how to use her hands and who has an attention to detail, entirely incomprehensible to Michelle.
So she really should have seen it coming. She should have known that once Willow had found her spot, she would have not only the attentiveness to realize that she had hit it, but also the skill and precision to then keep hitting the same spot again. And again. And again.
Until Michelle stops moaning, because all she can do is gasp and gasp for air and desperately push her hips forward against Willow's hand, using the last bit of voice she has left to beg Willow to "please don't stop".
And Willow doesn't stop. Because she isn't just smart and good with her hands, but also so sweet and caring and gentle.
Well, maybe not so gentle now.
Willow sits back a little, taking Michelle, who is fully leaning against her, with her. She pulls Michelle with both the hand that is inside her and the arm that's still wrapped around her waist, more on top of herself. Then she moves her legs to bend and slide around Michelle's hips and underneath her legs so that they're wrapped around Michelle entirely. Michelle's legs are lifted up a little higher, now laying on top of Willow's thighs and she's basically sitting in Willow's lap.
It gives Willow better access and Michelle doesn't get the time to process the change in position because her mind goes blank again as soon as Willow starts moving her fingers inside her a little more roughly and more intensely.
And something in Michelle's feelings shifts slightly, turning from quiet want to loud desperation.
It's so intense, she has never felt anything like it before, but she needs more of it. More of Willow and Willow's fingers and her whole body and everything about the situation, even though she doesn't remember how she got herself into it. She needs her closer, even deeper and Michelle feels a little bit like she might die if she doesn't get all of Willow soon.
She tries opening her legs up further, as far as her stupid jeans will allow, and she practically melts into Willow, her head leaning back over Willow's shoulder, turned sideways so she can push her nose into Willow's neck and her long hair that always smells so good.
The scent fills her empty brain and she keeps her eyes closed as Willow pulls a whimper from her with another movement, pushing her fingers in deep once again.
If Willow keeps this rhythm and intensity up then this is going to be over very soon.
Michelle's whimpers turn into whines as Willow pushes in harder, curling her fingers, the movement taking Michelle's whole body with it, rocking back against Willow every time she goes further in again.
Still it's agonizing, how slowly Willow is doing it.
The entire time she has kept up the same slow and steady pace, and while her movements got a bit rougher and uneven, her speed did not pick up once.
It's slow, a little too slow to get her the release she needs, but also just the right amount of slow to make Michelle mad with even more need and desperation.
It makes her want to scream but she's too scared that it will just turn into a moan so loud, that her parents hear it upstairs and she really doesn't need that kind of attention right now.
Not when the attention Willow is currently giving her feels so indescribably incredible that she secretly wishes it would never stop.
Maybe if Michelle never comes, then Willow will have to fuck her for forever and wouldn't that be a glorious thing?
Willow must have had a similar thought because her movement gets even slower and she asks Michelle in a voice so hot, it could have made Michelle come right then and there "for how long do you think you can still take it?"
Michelle is a mess.
What a fucked up thing of Willow to ask her, especially while her fingers are still unbearably slowly pulling out and pushing back inside Michelle.
Michelle's legs are trembling and she tries to collect her thoughts, but every time she thinks she might have the strength to say something, Willow just pushes in deep again, hitting the same spot an absurd amount of times, and making Michelle forget any thought or idea she could have ever had.
How is Willow expecting her to answer anything in this condition? How should she be able to speak, when she's still getting fucked so thoroughly and intensely that her brain is only static? By the same person asking her questions too.
"I'll only go faster if you tell me to." Willow's voice is so sweet and innocent, right by her ear, that it would have felt out of place if it didn't turn Michelle on even more.
She waits out Willow's next thrust and through her moan she desperately gets out the words "please, faster."
She feels a little crazy, the way she begs for it and she doesn't have the strength to say anything more. Luckily it's enough for Willow.
Michelle can feel Willow's arm shift around her as she sits up a little, to get her hand just ever so slightly deeper into Michelle's pants.
It makes Michelle moan, not even from Willow's touch, but simply the fact that it's really Willow's fingers, inside of her, speeding up now.
Not too quickly, but quicker than before and still so unbelievably precise.
Those fingers with the yellow nail polish are buried so deep inside Michelle that it makes her moan out a string of curse words and pleas. She forgets any bit of self control she still had left and lets Willow finger and fuck into her, as she finally really picks up her pace.
It feels so good and Michelle feels it so deep inside of her. She feels Willow's touch in places, that she didn't even know she could feel things in.
An then she can also feel it build up, feel the heat between her legs and inside her body grow and tingle as Willow breathes a little heavier against her, trying to keep up the quick rhythm.
She's doing so good at it and Michelle wants to tell her, but she only gets as far as moaning Willow's name loudly and pushing her hips against Willow's hand, matching her pace, trying to move with it and trying to help Willow make her come–
Willow pulls Michelle back against her stomach, hugging her tightly with one arm and she stops pulling her fingers out the little bit she does each time, before thrusting them back in. Instead she focuses on just keeping them fully inside and pushing them deeper, curling them further against Michelle's spot, without much of a break.
Michelle is really seeing stars now, sparks infront of her eyes, gasping and moaning, her legs shaking from how close she is.
Her hands grip onto Willow's arms as Willow keeps focus on the same spot, quickly and repeatedly pressing her fingers against it inside of Michelle, continuously sending bursts of immense pleasure throughout Michelle's entire body.
And then it happens.
When she comes it's unlike any orgasm Michelle has ever had before. Incredible wouldn't even describe it properly. There are no word for what she feels when she's coming, clenching hard around Willow's fingers, that are still moving inside her, helping her through it.
She squeezes her eyes shut and whole lot of sounds fall from her mouth, going from moans to gasps, to praises, to begging Willow to never stop, please.
And in this state of pure intense bliss, Michelle realizes something.
She has really wanted this, for a very long time. For so long, in fact, that she can't even comprehend, how she hadn't realized it sooner.
It makes her wonder why she had needed Willow to go this far, get this deep, before she could finally see that this–Willow–was something her mind and body had been craving this entire time.
After what feels like forever Michelle thinks she's actually going to come down again, that it's over now. That her body is going to relax and feel a little tired and that, after a minute or two, she'll be able to get up again and go about her day as usual.
That's how it normally is for her when she fingers herself.
Only that she did not finger herself this time.
She waits for it to set in, the clarity she gets afterwards, but in this moment it's all so much and so overwhelming and Willow is still slowly moving her fingers insider of her, a warm hand pushed between shaking legs.
And just the thought of Willows fingers, paired with the fact that it's all still actively happening inside of her, makes Michelle's whole body run hot and her brain buzz louder and then she can already feel it again.
The heat.
"Oh god-" her voice is quiet and broken and she can't stop herself from letting out another desperate moan. She keeps her eyes shut, tuning out everything else and her hips stutter, trying to get Willow's fingers deeper inside of her again.
Michelle can't really hear anything anymore, only the blood rushing in her ears and her own heartbeat, but she feels Willow carefully speed up her movements again and is thankful that she understands.
Then Willow is thrusting into Michelle again, a little unsteady but luckily faster than how she had started it the last time.
It still doesn't feel like enough though and Michelle can't think or ask for anything right now, she can only move.
She sits forward, trapping Willow's hand underneath her body and then she starts moving her hips on the fingers, as Willow continues curling them inside her.
Michelle has never done that before, ride anything to get herself off, but now it feels natural and so so good. The way she can participate more now, getting herself closer to the edge, rolling her hips down onto Willow's hand again and again, faster and faster.
She comes hard, all over Willow's hand inside her own pants, which must be soaked all the way through at this point but she can't stop herself.
Her brain is buzzing like electricity and all she can think about is Willow and Willow's hands on her body and Willow's lips on her lips and Willow's yellow nailpolish and those pretty rings she always wears and Willow's fingers inside of Michelle, actually inside of her.
Michelle really doesn't know how it even works, because she has never experienced it before but she feels the heat grow inside her once again.
"Willow, god- Willow-" it comes out of her mouth as a quiet whimper and then she can't do it anymore. Her hips slow. Her legs feel weak and they're still shaking from the two times she came, but she still needs more. She needs Willow to make even more of a mess out of her, until she can't think or worry about anything anymore, ever.
She leans back against Willow's shoulder, looking up at her, trying to see her face.
Willow stares right back at her, eyes wide and face flushed bright red. Michelle doesn't even want to imagine what she herself looks like right now.
"Please" she whispers, holding eye contact with Willow as she pulls her legs toward herself slightly, so she can spread them just the tiniest bit wider, still clenching weakly around Willow's fingers.
For a second none of them say or even move anything. Then she can see Willow's mouth move and she hears her whisper "you're fucking crazy" under her breath.
Michelle laughs weakly. She does feel a little crazy.
"You started it, so you have to finish it too."
It probably sounded less cool than Michelle imagined, but it must have been the right thing to say anyways, because Willow's eyes change, going dark and she tightens her grip on Michelle's waist. Then her other hand moves again, careful this time and Michelle feels every part of it–every tiny movement, pushing deep into her core.
She lets out another whimper, eyes still fixed onto Willow's face and the way she's furrowing her eyebrows in concentration.
A few strands of Willow's hair are sticking to her face and neck, sweaty and moving along her skin in beautiful curves.
When she feels Willow's fingers push in deep again, she can't help but moan, eyes still open, still looking at her best friend's face. Are they even still best friends? What are they now?
Before she can start to worry, another careful push of Willow's fingers sends sparks through her thighs and down her legs, wiping her brain clean of any thoughts again. Willow looks back at Michelle, scanning her face, waiting for a reaction to her next thrust. When it comes Michelle's head falls back and she has to close her eyes. Her mouth is hanging open slightly and she's breathing through it, taking in one shaky breath after the other.
"Do you like this?" Willow whispers into Michelle's ear and Michelle lets out a quiet sound, putting a weak arm over her face, suddenly feeling very vulnerable.
Because she does like it. So much.
And Willow knows that now.
Willow's mouth is still close against her ear when she speaks again.
"You look out of it. Do you want me to make you come again?"
It's her voice too. Michelle can't deal with Willow's voice because it's so intense. If she hadn't been completely soaked already, then this would have definitely done it for her.
"Yes, please."
Michelle had hoped to sound a little more secure but she's a mess in Willows arms and so that is exactly what she sounds like.
She makes a choked noise at how sensitive she now is and how good Willow's touch still feels.
She tries to regain at least a little bit of her composure, sitting up slightly, so that her entire body weight isn't pushing against Willow anymore.
When Willow speeds up this time, every move of hers feels ten times more intense. She's messier with it now, not as precise as before and Michelle can feel her breathe heavily, her chest against her back, hot breath on her ear, her lips brushing the skin there every time she moves.
For some reason it feels even more intimate now. It already felt intimate before but now Michelle feels fragile, like the world might break in half if she never gets to feel this again.
Like Willow could pull at her insides and Michelle would let her.
The heavy feeling of how much Michelle want and needs this consumes her, settles itself into her heart and holds onto it, tighter, the longer Willow's fingers are inside of her.
Michelle feels wide open though, exposed, both physically and emotionally to Willow.
Somewhere in her brain she realizes that she loves the feeling so much that she can't breathe.
It doesn't take long for Michelle to come a third time, arching her back hard, her hand flying back down to grab Willow's arm, holding on to her for support. Her legs shake and her hips stutter almost violently from the force of it, the feeling of it taking over her brain and body, quiet whimpers and moans escaping her throat.
She's trying hard to take in air, every breath just another weak noise against the side of Willow's neck and face.
When it's over and Michelle finally slowly comes down and back to her senses, she breathes hard. She has to lean forward, letting go of her tight grip on Willow's arms and instead she places her hands on the floor infront of her. She's trying to keep herself from falling over out of exhaustion.
Michelle can hear her own breath, going fast and heavy and now she's starting to feel how sweaty she is, her bangs sticking to her forehead, the undershirt under her sweater damp at her armpits. It feels like she just ran a marathon. Three times.
With her eyes still closed, she groans when she feels Willow slowly pull out her fingers. First out of Michelle and then fully out of her pants.
It leaves her feeling a little empty. Like she would have wanted them to stay inside her for a little while longer, even if they wouldn't have moved anymore.
She exhales shakily.
"What- the fuck?" She whispers after a few deep breaths, more to herself than to Willow.
She opens her eyes slowly, blinking a few times until her vision stops being blurry and her eyes focus back on the world around her. She's looking at her own hands, gripping the carpet on the floor, and then Willow's legs that are still pushed underneath her own thighs.
Michelle's whole body feels strange and she wants to get up but then realizes that she can't.
Her legs feel too weak and they're still shaking from what Willow's fingers have just done in between them.
"Um," she starts, sitting up a little, "thanks."
Her own voice sounds rough and hoarse and it makes her shy.
Behind her Willow laughs, quietly. "Thanks?" she sounds amused, making Michelle turn her head and lean to the side to look her.
"Yeah?" She bites her lip, trying not to seem too awkward. "Sorry, I have no idea what I'm supposed to say right now."
Willow smiles at her, incredibly soft, before answering. "That's okay. You don't have to say anything–"
"But I want to!" Michelle almost interrupts her.
"I mean, that was incredible. How do you even know how to do that?"
Willow blushes, her cheeks turning a beautiful shade of pink.
"Oh, I don't know. Just practice, I guess."
Willow looks at the floor beside her where her hands are lying on the carpet, the hand she's looking at wet and sticky with Michelle's cum.
"What do you mean practice? Do you have somebody to practice this with?"
Michelle's brain feels slow, like it's been packed full with cotton. She can't think of any other way Willow could practice this, even though the idea of Willow doing this to other women makes Michelle a little sick to her stomach.
"No, just myself."
Michelle just stares at her, she hasn't quite gotten it yet and Willow is quiet for a second, before looking back up at her, blushing even more.
"What? Have you never-" she hesitates, pulls at the carpet with her clean hand "-um, done it to yourself before?"
Oh.
"Oh."
Her brain really is so empty because why didn't she think of that?
The thought of Willow masturbating is somehow completely new to Michelle, but it almost makes her want to ask Willow to just put her fingers right back inside of her so she can make her come a fourth time. Her whole body feels so hot.
But Willow is looking at her, confused and a little nervous and Michelle wants her to not feel like that right now.
"No, of course I have. I'm sorry, I'm just a little exhausted, I don't think my brain is back at full capacity yet."
She smiles awkwardly and that makes Willow laugh, giggle and Michelle's heart sings at the sight.
"Yeah, I bet."
Something feels different about Willow, like Michelle suddenly knows a side of her that she couldn't see before.
Willow looks like she's glowing in the dim basement light, the early spring sun coming in through the tiny windows to illuminate her beautifully.
Michelle doesn't laugh with Willow, only smiles and watches her look so pretty and free. She loves this side of Willow.
When she's happy.
When Willow's laughs have turned into quiet chuckles she scoots away from behind Michelle and gets up. Michelle's back suddenly feels cold.
Willow holds out a hand to her and Michelle takes it, lets herself be pulled up as well.
When she stands Willow lets go of her hand and then Michelle suddenly feels weak.
Her legs are still a little bit shaky and so she lets herself drop down onto the couch, that is luckily standing right beside her.
Willow watches her do this.
"Are you good?" She asks and grins.
"What? Oh yeah, yeah." She waves Willow off, with an awkward laugh, voice unnaturally high pitched.
Is she good?
She feels slightly dizzy. She can't sort through her thoughts.
She's sitting and she still feels breathless, her head spinning. Maybe it's the way Willow is looking at her.
It's this indescribable look that she only gets when she's concentrated or wants something really really badly.
It really is dizzying.
Being looked at by Willow.
As if she wants to swallow Michelle, keep her all for herself.
When she realizes, that she has stopped breathing entirely, Michelle inhales sharply.
Then she releases the air slowly through her mouth. It comes out shaking.
She can't tear her eyes off of Willow. She's shining, radiating like the sun and the moon and the stars and everything that is light and bright and wonderful.
She wants her close again. Misses the warmth Willow brings her.
Michelle can hear her own voice, slow and quiet, when she starts to speak.
"Would you want to sit–"
She is stopped as soon as Willow walks the few steps that are between them and suddenly stands right between Michelle's still spread legs.
In one quick move she wipes her fingers on her own pants and then takes Michelle's face into both of her hands.
She leans down and Michelle sits up on the couch, closes her eyes.
Willow stops above her. Michelle can feel her breath on her own lips. She's so close.
Michelle licks her lips.
"Do you–" she starts.
"Can I–" Willow speaks at the same time as her and they both stop before either of them can finish their sentences.
Michelle huffs out a quiet laugh, a nervous breath, filling the space between them.
"You first", she whispers, already forgetting what she wanted to say.
Her brain is loud and quiet at the same time, a buzz in her ears, like she can hear the tension that is between them.
Willow swallows. Michelle hears it.
"Can I kiss you?"
Willow's nervous breath is still on her lips, her cheeks, her nose.
"Didn't we already kiss earlier?"
Maybe that really had just been a dream. It definitely felt like one.
Willow's wavering breaths are loud, or maybe everything else is just very quiet. Maybe Willow's breaths are the only thing Michelle wants to hear right now.
"Yeah, but-" her voice is a whisper, "-I just wanted to check."
Michelle nods slightly, feeling Willow's fingertips pressing against her jaw as her head moves.
"You can kiss me."
She says it so quietly, that she thinks maybe Willow didn't hear her.
Her own hands on her knees feel sweaty.
Restless.
Michelle keeps her eyes closed, afraid that if she opens them she'll wake up from a dream and Willow will be gone.
Willow's fingers move, press into her skin and then trail along her jaw, her thumb gliding over Michelle's cheek, to the corner of her mouth.
Her other hand goes further back, pushes up into Michelle's hair, her fingers digging into her curls.
Willow's thumb drags over her top lip, her skin catching on the bits where Michelle's lips are chapped from picking at them.
She presses her thumb against her lips, before then dragging down, pulling her bottom lip with it.
Michelle can feel it carefully glide along the curve between her lips and her chin, then over her chin, stopping right underneath it.
Willow presses her thumb against Michelle's chin, firmly, and Michelle lets her guide her face up, leans into the touch of Willow's warm hand on her jaw.
A small hum comes from her throat but she can't be bothered to get embarassed over it.
She likes the touch. It's comforting and exciting at the same time, sending warm tingly sparks into her skin, where ever Willow touches her.
Willow's hand in her hair gently pulls at a few of the strands and pulls her head back further.
She can feel Willow shift between her legs and above her, pushing closer, leaning further over her.
Michelle can't help it and she closes her legs until her knees touch the sides of Willow's legs. She likes the feel of it, likes knowing that Willow is actually there.
She blindly moves her hands over her own knees, inward, until they reach Willow's legs too.
Her hands go up, along the fabric of Willow's pants and then hold on to the back of Willow's knees. She pushes her chin up a little, without Willow guiding her to do it.
Willow speaks, soft and breathy, just as she exhales.
"I'm going to kiss you now."
Michelle hums again, unable to say anything.
She can hear Willow shift again, her pants rustling quietly. She feels her press her fingertips into her skin more firmly.
Michelle's eyelids flutter for a second and she sees Willow lean in, pushing past the last bit of space between them.
Her eyes fall fully shut again when she feels Willow's lips press against her own softly.
Careful almost, different from how she had kissed Willow earlier.
They don't move for a few long, quiet, warm moments and then Willow pulls back.
She shifts again, takes another deep breath and then Michelle can feel her lips on her own again, at a different angle this time. Willow's nose pushing into her cheek and against her nose.
She can feel Willow breathe out through it and then with another inhale she opens her mouth against Michelle's lips.
Michelle does the same, kisses her back, feels Willow's top lip between both of her own, soft and warm.
Willow pulls away and their noses bump slightly as she angles her head differently again. Then she kisses her again, her nose pressing against Michelle's on the other side.
Michelle realizes that she herself forgot to breathe, when she feels Willow inhale shakily against her cheek.
She takes her own shaky breath, parts her lips gently, breathes out against Willow, presses her own lips back together onto Willow's mouth.
She feels Willow move her lips too and they fall into a slow, careful rhythm as they kiss and kiss and kiss softly.
Willow's hand on her jaw pushes back into Michelle's hair as well and she holds on to her there, her fingers bending around her curls, fingertips pressing against her scalp.
She pulls Michelle closer by the back of her head, pressing their lips together deeper. She moves them with Michelle's lips.
Michelle trails her hands up Willow's legs, to the back of her thighs and she pulls at them, wanting to feel Willow closer.
Without breaking their kiss, Willow bends her legs, pulls one of them up and over Michelle's thigh. She pushes her own wet mouth closer against Michelle's and then pulls her other leg over Michelle's other thigh. Then she's kneeling on the couch, legs straddling Michelle.
Willow pulls away to take another shaky breath and then goes right back in to kissing Michelle.
Her mouth moves more sure against Michelle's and Michelle suddenly feels like she has to keep up, like Willow is much better at this than she is. Which is strange and exciting because as far as Michelle knows, Willow has never kissed anybody before today.
Willow kisses hard against Michelle's lips, Michelle kissing her back and Willow carefully sits down, pulling Michelle's head with her to not break the kiss.
Michelle's hands glide along Willow's thighs, over her hips and then stop to rest on her waist, when she can feel Willow put her own weight onto her legs.
And then Willow is in her lap, pressing her lips onto Michelle's mouth firmly.
She pushes her whole body against Michelle, making her lean back until her back relaxes into the back of the couch.
Michelle can feel the weight of Willow on top of her, her stomach pushing onto Michelle's, crowding her against the the couch, her knees pressing into her hips on both sides.
Willow rests both of her elbows on the back of the couch, next to Michelle's head and she pulls at her hair, pulling a moan from Michelle's mouth with it.
Willow licks over Michelle's lips and then, as she moans again, pushes her tounge into her mouth, licking her teeth and the inside of her mouth, searching for Michelle's tounge.
Michelle wraps her arms around Willow's waist and pulls her closer, as she meets Willow's tounge with her own.
She licks against it, closes the open gap between their lips, loves the sound their mouths make as she does it.
Willow moans into her, her hips moving, pressing close to Michelle's.
Desperately.
Michelle gasps when she realizes.
Before she can pull away and say something, Willow's tounge pushes further into her mouth, against the back of her teeth, the top of her mouth. Their teeth bump against each other.
Willow's breaths are heavy and hard on Michelle's cheek, like she has to catch her breath but doesn't want to stop kissing Michelle, just for that to happen.
Like she needs this.
Willow's fingers tighten in her hair and then she does pull back, dragging her teeth along Michelle's bottom lip, pulling at it for a second before letting it go and panting into her mouth.
Michelle is panting too. She has never kissed somebody like this. So intense.
She opens her eyes and is met with Willow's green ones, pupils blown wide.
Willow breathes hard, open mouthed, her lips red and swollen and wet from both of their spit mixing.
Michelle's eyes fixate on them and she can't look away, can't believe what they look like, so kissed and–
"Cross your legs."
Her eyes snap back up to Willow's. They look darker now, hungry, in the same way her lips felt hungry on Michelle's.
"What?"
There's a moment, where Willow seems to realize that Michelle heard her. That she didn't just think the sentence, but also said it out loud.
Then she takes a deep breath, shifts and presses her hips onto Michelle's legs.
"Could you–" she swallows, her eyes searching Michelle's.
"Could you cross your legs, for me?"
She bites her lip and Michelle nods. Immediately Willow lifts her hips, taking some weight off of her. Michelle crosses her legs under Willow, suddenly feeling how soaked her own pants are from when she came earlier. The kissing doesn't really make her less wet either.
Once her legs are crossed, Willow carefully sits back down, spreading her legs further on Michelle's sides, her knees digging into the couch. She can hear her supress a quiet moan.
Oh.
She blinks. Looks at Willow's face. It's redder than before, like she's embarassed. Or really turned on. Or both.
"Is that okay?" Willow whispers, her breath shaking and her voice almost dripping with want.
And how could Michelle ever deny her?
Especially when Willow was doing incredible things to Michelle's body not too long ago.
"Of course."
She takes a deep breath, holding it, still looking at Willow. She seems unsure now and it feels unfair because Willow should not feel like she can't allow herself to enjoy this too.
Michelle releases her breath.
"Willow, I want you to", she whispers.
To prove her point she glides her hands along Willow's sides, down to her hips. She settles them there and then pulls gently, makes Willow grind onto her leg.
Willow groans and squeezes her eyes shut, her hands grabbing onto Michelle's hair.
Michelle's heart beats faster and she watches Willow as she exhales, very slowly and controlled.
"Shit."
The word is quiet, breathy and dragged out and Michelle can't tear her eyes off the sight infront of her, wants to remember the way Willow speaks, when she's turned on, forever.
"You can kiss me again," Michelle whispers, "if you want."
Willow pulls back a little and opens her eyes, looks at Michelle, eyebrows raised, her face glistening with sweat.
"Shit", she breathes again and then she leans forward, pushes back into Michelle's space.
Their noses bump with how hard Willow kisses her, mouth moving hungry, and she arches her back into it, presses her stomach against Michelle's.
Michelle keeps her legs crossed and she carefully pulls Willow closer by her hips, making her moan against her lips.
She loves the sound.
She pulls again and Willow moans again, louder this time and Michelle feels like she might have just gotten addicted to the sound of Willow's moans.
She opens her mouth, wanting to lick over Willow's lips the same way she did, but Willow opens her own mouth with her and so Michelle's tounge meets Willow's in the middle.
Willow's pulls at Michelle's hair, making her moan as well and she moans together with her, rolling her hips down onto Michelle's thigh.
"Oh, fuck–" she chokes out and Michelle's brain stops working because she never hears Willow swear that much.
Their kissing slows as Willow is occupied with herself and Michelle is occupied with figuring out if the swearing is a one time thing or something that happens whenever Willow is horny.
Willow keeps her lips pressed against Michelle's, her mouth open but she isn't really kissing her anymore and rather breathing heavily into Michelle's mouth.
Michelle tightens her grip on Willow's hips and guides her as Willow starts grinding against her thigh.
Willow mumbles "oh my fucking god, Michelle–" against her lips and then she moans again as her hips press harder onto Michelle's leg.
The swearing seems to be a horny thing and Michelle is kind of obsessed with it.
She pulls back to look at Willow as Willow grinds against her leg and the sight is beautiful.
Even in such a desperate state Willow moves so beautifully, with so much feel to it.
Her fingers flex against Michelle's scalp and then she's pulling her hands out of her hair to put them on Michelle's shoulders.
And all Michelle can do is stare.
Stare at the way Willow's hips roll forward, the way she keeps grinding, her legs spreading further to sit more on Michelle's thigh– feel more of Michelle between her own legs.
She leans in close to Michelle again, her sweatshirt riding up as she drags her body against Michelle's. Willow's eyes are closed, fingers digging into Michelle's shoulders.
And because Willow seems to be doing just fine, not needing Michelle's help anymore to grind on her leg properly, Michelle slides her hands up Willow's hips again. They move under Willow's sweatshirt, touching her skin on her waist and up around her back.
She spreads her fingers out on Willow's shoulderblades, pulls her closer there, listens to Willow moan and swear under her breath.
Michelle slides down the couch a little, pushes her leg up between Willow's and then Willow leans forward, hugging her around her shoulders, her lips pressed to Michelle's ear.
She can hear her heavy breaths loud against her ear and it's so hot.
She can smell Willow's hair too, feels it tickle her skin.
Willow is practically lying on top of her with her entire body weight pressing her into the cushions of the couch and Michelle wouldn't want her to be anywhere else.
Her legs are spread wide and her movements get more and more desperate as she pants Michelle's name.
And that does something to Michelle, her insides feeling hot and needy.
Willow continues to grind, seeming almost a bit frantic now and Michelle wants to help her again, wants to make sure Willow gets as much pleasure out of this as Michelle got too.
She lets her hands slide back down, over Willow's back, along her spine, making Willow shiver. Then her fingers move over her lower back, down to her butt. She holds on to it gently and Willow moans hot into her ear before Michelle even has the chance to pull at it.
Just the touch is enough for Willow and Michelle feels like she's going crazy because how did she not know that Willow could get this turned on just from Michelle touching her?
Michelle has been wanting to do just that for a while. For a long, long while.
She uses Willow's reaction as motivation, touches her more, pulls her close, her hands firm on Willow's butt. With her chin on Willow's shoulder she closes her eyes, blocks out all the visuals distracting her from feeling the fabric of Willow's pants, the skin of her stomach, the way she moves on top of Michelle and the way her legs spread over and clench around Michelle's thigh.
Michelle lets her hands wander down, over her stomach, on top of her thighs, to the back of Willow's knees, that are digging into the couch and push in every time she grinds against Michelle's thigh. Michelle pulls just as Willow is grinding down again and she makes a sound, choked and quiet.
Her whole body shakes.
"You're so pretty," Michelle whispers into Willow's ear, in awe of how a person can look as gorgeous as Willow and just exist in the world.
"-fucking hell, why would you say that?" Willow breathes, holding on to Michelle, hugging her around her neck tightly as she moved, small noises escaping her.
"Because it's true," Michelle mumbles, her hands pulling at Willow's legs, tracing them, needing to touch every part of her.
Willow's hips stop and then stutter suddenly and her grinding looses it's rhythm.
She swears again, pushes her face into Michelle's neck, breathes against it, hot and heavy.
Then Willow comes and it's magical.
She makes a sound, choked and quiet, into Michelle's hair and skin, her arms and legs tensing, completely trapping Michelle against the couch.
All Michelle cares about is Willow and feeling Willow come, hearing Willow come, breathing sharply, gasping, letting out one last long moan.
Her movements slow after what feels like way too early and Michelle wishes Willow would just keep going on top of her, wishes Willow would do other things on top of her as well. Now that Willow told Michelle, about how she masturbates, the thought is in her head and she desperately needs to see it.
When Willow stops moving and just lays on top of Michelle, all tension leaving her body as she's trying to calm her breathing, Michelle puts her hands on her back, rubbing it gently, tracing little stars and hearts onto it to hopefully soothe her.
"Mh-" Willow swallow's hard, then whispers "sorry" into Michelle's ear.
She pulls back, letting go of her tight grip around Michelle's neck.
"No, no, no. Don't leave," Michelle whines and then she blushes because she doesn't know if that's appropriate to say to your best friend who just got herself off on your leg.
Willow looks at her, her cheeks red, lips still swollen from their kissing. She smiles softly and Michelle forgets how to breathe again.
Willow brushes a few strands of sweaty hair out of her own face and leans in. She gently kisses Michelle's cheek, her lips lingering there for a few seconds, before slowly pulling away again, hands now resting on Michelle's shoulders.
She breathes out a nervous laugh.
"So... that was fun."
Michelle looks at her, blinks, then nods slowly. It definitely was. It was also a whole lot of other things but sure, it was fun too.
She tries to think of something to say, but Willow continues before she can even open her mouth.
"Um. Sorry, I should probably get up now," Willow says, patting her shoulders almost awkwardly.
Michelle still doesn't know what to say and so she just lets go of Willow's back, dropping her arms to her sides and she watches as Willow carefully peels herself off of Michelle's leg, groaning quietly in the process.
When Willow stands again, she looks down at Michelle with this indescribable look and then she turns and walks over to the bathroom. Michelle kind of wants to follow her but when she tries to get up her legs protest and so she stays seated. She looks around the room, down her own body, and sees the stain Willow left on her pants.
Right on her thigh.
Michelle leans forward, wants to smell it, but her body doesn't bend far enough for her nose to touch fabric that's so high up on her leg.
She hears the toilet flush in the bathroom and sits up again. She really doesn't need Willow to catch her being weird about this.
When Willow comes back out of the bathroom, hands clean and face looking a lot less red she walks over to the couch again and sits down on it, next to Michelle.
Michelle uncrosses her legs, winces at the uncomfortable feeling in her pants and looks down at her own hands, picking at the skin around her nails.
She still wants to say something but she can't bring herself to think of anything.
The air feels cooler now, she's shivering a little without the constant body heat of Willow pressed up against her.
Maybe that's what she should tell Willow, that she's cold and liked her warmth. Or maybe she should tell Willow that she needs her now, desperately so. That she needs her to be around, be Michelle's, be with Michelle. She wonders if Willow would want the same or if this was a only one time thing.
She hopes it's the first.
As they were doing it, Michelle seemed pretty sure that Willow was into it just as much as she was, but now, the way they're sitting next to each other, not touching and in silence–it feels a little off. She can't really place the feeling and she wants to ask Willow about it, is about to finally open her mouth–
Somebody knocks against the basement door and both Michelle and Willow jump a little.
It's Michelle's mom.
"Willow, your brother is here to pick you up," she yells through the door and before she can even finish the sentence Willow is already up and off the couch. She walks over to where her bag is sitting on a chair and picks it up. Then she turns and looks at Michelle, her face soft and her eyes seeming a little more sure.
It's all Michelle needs to feel warm again, her insides fluttering in excitement.
"Are you coming upstairs with me?" Willow asks her, quietly.
Michelle blushes, embarrassed, and then shakes her head, making Willow look at her confused.
Michelle blushes harder.
"I don't think I can actually walk up the stairs right now," she mumbles and Willow takes a second to get what she means. Then she laughs, bright and bubbly and beautiful. Michelle's face feels hot.
"Okay then," Willow giggles, "see you tomorrow."
She walks back over to her and leans down to give her a hug. They always hug when Willow leaves the Wheeler house but today it feels different. She can still smell the sweat on Willow's neck and their hug lasts just a second longer than it usually does.
When Willow pulls back her eyes seem to fall down to Michelle's mouth for a short moment, but Michelle could have also just imagined that, in her exhausted state.
"Bye," Michelle says and waves at her and Willow does the same. Then she turns and walks away from Michelle, hands twisting into the bottom of her sweater. She walks up the stairs, opens the door and looks back down to Michelle.
She turns back to the hallway, walks past the doorframe, leaves Michelle's sight and then suddenly she's gone.
Michelle just sits, has no idea what happened. Why they even did this.
Did Willow want it? She initiated it so she must have.
Michelle definitely wanted it. She wants more of it now. She wants to talk about it. She usually talks so much, she has no idea why she was so unable to tell or ask Willow anything important just now.
Maybe she's tired. She's definitely tired. She is exhausted and her legs feel so weak. Her entire body feels weak. She leans her head back against the back of the couch and closes her eyes.
Maybe it really was just a dream.
A really good one.
And if she falls asleep, then maybe she can dream it again.