Chapter Text
Regect was sitting on his bed, looking at anything he could find in his room. He looked at the calendar on the wall, "June 30th" circled in red as it was today, aka the last day of pride for that year.
Pride ending.
HOLY FUCK.
Now, you may ask, "why is that so important? It's just the gay month ending."
1. Did you fucking read the summary
2. Regect was a stupid incel who has never had a partner in his life!! He wanted that to change this year and in this month and he promised he would do it before the month ended or else he had to be Maturin's servant for the rest of July and Daemon knows what he could do to him in that period of time...
But he won't let that happen!! He IS going to get a boyfriend by the end of the day and won't end up as Maturin's bitch!
Regect had his hopes up until he checked the time... 8 pm.
Oh he was even more fucked... HOW THE FUCK IS HE GOING TO GET A PARTNER IN 4 HOURS?? He COULD go on a dating app like Grindr but that shit is ass and he couldn't lock in a boyfriend in that much time... This was basically impossible! He's an absolute chud and the only aura he had was the green one radiating him like a disgusting, putrid halo that even the flies (Now dead) couldn't bare!! The last time he took a shower was before THE DAEMON was created!!! You wouldn't be surprised to find out if he was the blueprint of an unemployed discord mod with no bitches!
Now, besides his mortifying appearance and smell, he only had two actual friends! (Only including the ones who are alive and well!)
He obviously couldn't date Moe because she's a girl and he likes MEN, but then that leaves...
OH FUCK NO.
Sure, Ze was lowkirkenuinely kinda hot and he would smash him any chance he could, but he also hated that dude too!!
But goddamn he needed him this time...
Soooo, Regect casually twirls to Ze's room, which frankly looks like a gang fight broke out 18 years ago and was never cleaned, but Regect didn't care tbh ngl. He only cared about Ze! (Holy fuck that was cringe)
Regect walked over to Ze who was on his pile of horror which he called a bed and was greeted with a warm-
Z: "What do want fatass chud."
*Regect blushed and started to stutter* "W-w-w-w-well, I was wondering... I-i-i-i-f you could-"
But was completely cut off.
Z: "W-w-w-wuh!" he mocked, "stfu before this bullet goes through your invisible longass forehead." He said grabbing his beautiful shotgun he called Gun-Chan
R: Geez rude much... "ANYWAYSS!! I was gonna say is..." pauses and drops to his knees "PLEASEBEMYHOTSPICYBOYFRIENDBYTHEENDOFTODAYORILLBECOMEASLAVETOMATURINPLEASE!!"
Ze paused to look at him with a blank expression and starts laughing so hard that I swear he shat in the process
Z: "FUCK NO YOU GAYASS LOSER, MISS ME WITH THAT GAY SHIT MAN :crying_laughing_emoji:"
R: "CMON YOU INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBE, I KNOW YOU GOON TO ME BRO PLEASE!!" he pleaded harder "LOOK, If you don't do it, Ill be sent off and then who will you bully everyday? FOR A MONTH BRUH"
Z: thinks thinkingly "Fine. Ill date you. B-but don't get the wrong idea! It's not like I like you or a-anything! hmph!"
R: Why is this dude such a fucking tsundere ew. "YES FUCKING FINALLY BRUH"
Regect then sloppily kisses Ze on the cheek and licks his face which causes Ze to gain a horror-stricken look and an expression only one could deem as, "I wanna kms so badly bro, WHY THIS CHUD"
Z: "Ok bro, but if we lowkenuinly do this and smash, ur topping and showering lil bro. You REEK of an entire McDonald's annual stock of grease, it's genuinely a safety hazard tf..."
Regect lwk was hard by that point so after Regect took a MUCH NEEDED shower, they lowkey fuh with the door open and Moe opens it to see how they're doing and fucking DIES at the horrendous sight of her two friends break away from their rusty virgin chains
Maturin also cums in bc he remembered the bet and also dies at the two chuds making mpreg.
THE END!!!<3