Chapter Text
I am a cat. I do not yet have a name.
No—actually, I do have one. I do, but no one has ever called me by it. I try desperately to tell them, but they never understand.
My master’s name is Shinji.
Although, to be precise, Shinji probably doesn’t even realize he is my master. As far as he is concerned, I am nothing more than a stray cat that has taken to hanging around.
Good grief.
Shinji lives alone in an old two-story mortar apartment building by the river. It seems that, even in this life, Gendo Ikari is hopeless as a father. I wonder if that man’s illness will ever be cured, no matter how many times the world repeats itself. What a terrible nuisance.
Once Shinji left for school, I spent some time wandering along the riverbank as usual, taking care of one thing and another, and then made my way to the residents-only park of a luxury apartment building one block away. This place serves as the local gathering spot for cats. Well, a gathering spot for cats—or rather—
A splendidly built Maine Coon glanced at me and meowed.
“Meow!”
Translation: Tabris. You’re late today.
I answered him.
“Mrow.”
Translation: Hello, Zeruel. I don’t think I’m late.
A white cat lounging gracefully atop the children’s play equipment mewed.
“Mew.”
Translation: Tabris is a stray, after all. I suppose finding food must be difficult for him.
I was a little offended.
“Mrah!”
Translation: Arael. How rude. I am not a stray cat.
...This is tiresome, so from here on, I will simply provide automatic translation for all cat language.
In other words, in this life, all of the Angels had been sent down to Earth in the form of cats.
I looked around.
“Come to think of it, there aren’t very many of us here, are there?”
In the sunny corner of the park where the cats had gathered, there were only five of us, including me. That meant only a third of the Angels had shown up.
“Everyone’s got their own circumstances,” Zeruel said through a yawn. “Sandalphon, for one, has never even come to a meeting in the first place.”
“Sandalphon is still asleep?” I tilted my head.
“Yeah.” Zeruel nodded at me. “Still asleep. No intention of waking up. Apparently, he’s decided he’s spending this life asleep.”
“I’m impressed anyone even realized he was on Earth at all.”
“He sends in survival reports by mental link every now and then.” Zeruel grumbled as he licked one of his sturdy, brown-striped forelegs. “He connects out of nowhere in the middle of the night. ‘Sleeping.’ That’s all he says before cutting off.”
“Zeruel, you really do have it hard, don’t you?” Arael said. “Having to keep fifteen Angels together all by yourself.”
She climbed down from the top of the slide and came toward us, her white tail swaying elegantly behind her. The little gold bell attached to her red collar gave a soft chime.
“It must be especially difficult in this life,” she went on. “None of us have the slightest sense of cooperation.”
“We’re cats,” Zeruel said.
“We are cats,” Arael agreed.
I scratched at the side of my neck with my hind leg and thought to myself.
—Then again, had the Angels ever cooperated with one another and accomplished anything before?
“But still,” said Israfel, who had been lying silently in the sandbox until then. Both of them lifted their heads at the same time. They were twin Sphynx cats, wrinkled and almost completely hairless. One was a pale cream color, and the other’s skin had a slightly orange tint. “Are we really sure this is fine?” “Is it fine?”
“We spend every day lying around like this. Since we did technically invade, I feel like we ought to do something vaguely invasion-like at least once.” “At least once.”
The two looked at each other and nodded in agreement.
“Please don’t,” Arael said, wrinkling her nose slightly at Israfel’s words.
“If someone tells us to fulfill our mission in this form, what exactly are we supposed to do? Deploy an A.T. Field with these bodies? Besides—”
She glanced at me.
“You would only decide you didn’t like how things turned out and say we should start over from the beginning again. So I think it would be perfectly acceptable for us to take it easy this time.”
“True,” Zeruel sighed.
“Exactly.” “Tabris would definitely say that.”
Israfel agreed as well.
“That’s not true! I only—”
I stared down at the grass beneath my paws.
“I only want Shinji to be happy.”
“There it is. Tabris and his human favoritism again.” “His Lilin favoritism.”
Israfel narrowed their eyes at me.
I fell silent.
“Oh, leave him alone,” Zeruel said, stepping in before things could go any further. “Everyone’s got their own circumstances.”
“What circumstances?” “What circumstances?”
Israfel looked dissatisfied.
“Circumstances are circumstances.” Zeruel slowly rose to his feet and stretched, planting all four legs firmly against the ground.
When he stood up, Zeruel really was enormous. He looked less like a cat and more like a bear. Well, perhaps that was a slight exaggeration. Even so, the much smaller Israfel seemed a little intimidated and fell quiet.
“All right, then. Shall we call it a day?” Zeruel said, looking up at the sky.
“Yes, it is almost evening,” Arael said, also lifting her gaze and narrowing her eyes slightly. “I must prepare to receive my dinner.”
“...You need to prepare to receive dinner?” I asked, unable to help myself.
“My teacher does,” Arael said, turning toward me with another little chime of her bell. “She always has such trouble deciding which cat food to give me. You know, since she keeps so many different kinds on hand? It seems she can never choose.”
Even if she said “you know,” there was no way I could. I had never even been inside Arael’s home.
She lived in one of the apartments in this luxury building with her owner, a tea-ceremony teacher. There was a concierge stationed at the entrance, and security guards patrolled the grounds, making it impossible for any suspicious cat to sneak inside.
“Yesterday, she spent the longest time wondering whether I would prefer the sole terrine, the salmon and melon, or perhaps the rabbit and mango. Then she asked me, ‘Which would you like?’ So I chose for her.”
“I see,” I answered mechanically. “That sounds impressive.”
“And what did you choose?” “What did you choose?”
Israfel asked, their eyes shining.
Arael lifted her chin primly and replied, “The German beef and cottage cheese. Yesterday, I simply felt like meat.”
“I’m so jealous!” “So jealous!”
Israfel cried in unison, their eyes sparkling.
I stood up.
“Well, I’m going home.”
“Yeah. Get home safe,” Zeruel called after me. “Watch out for dogs and cars.”
“I will,” I said, turning back to answer him. “See you later.”
I walked along the riverside path toward Shinji’s apartment. The sky was the color of sunset, and beneath it, two crows flew past.
It was not that I was dissatisfied with my current life. Still, after listening to Arael talk about being loved so absurdly much by her owner, I had to admit I felt a little envious.
Only of the affection, of course—the affection of an owner who kept piles of expensive cat food prepared just for her. I was not envious of the cat food itself. Absolutely not.
—German beef and cottage cheese...
What would that even taste like?
I was walking along, thinking such things, when I caught sight of Shinji riding his bicycle from the far end of the path.
Shinji!
I broke into a run.
Without noticing me, his bicycle continued on. I chased after him with all my might. The dingy cream-colored wall of his apartment building came into view, and then Shinji disappeared around the other side of it. I rounded the corner and came out in front of the building.
Shinji was parking his bicycle on the ground floor and locking it. I wound myself around his feet.
Welcome home! Welcome home! You’re back early today. How was school? Nothing unpleasant happened, did it? Nothing sad?
Shinji looked down at me with a slight frown.
“You again...”
Yes, me! I was waiting for you! I really wanted to go to school with you, but I doubt we could be in the same class this time! In fact, I doubt they would even let me enroll!
“...You’re noisy.”
Just then, I heard footsteps coming down the outdoor steel staircase beside us, the one that led to the second floor of the apartment building.
“Oh, Shinji. Welcome home.”
It was the university student who lived in the room next to Shinji’s. Shinji lowered his head a little and gave a small bow.
“Ah... h-hello. Good afternoon.”
She seemed to be on her way out. She smiled at Shinji, then looked down at me by his feet.
“Oh. That cat again.”
She came closer, crouched down in front of me, and reached out her hand. Before she could touch me, I stood up and hid behind Shinji’s leg.
She gave a wry smile.
“This cat really has no affection for anyone but you, does it?”
“I-I really have no idea why it keeps following me around...”
“Are you the type animals like, Shinji?”
“No...” Shinji shook his head. “Not at all.”
“Then this cat must be special.” Still crouching with her arms around her knees, she peered closely at my face. “This cat... He’s a Russian Blue, isn’t he?”
“Is he?”
“Probably. I had a friend who kept one, years ago. But—” She leaned in even closer to study my face. “His eyes are... strange.”
I narrowed my eyes and glared back at her.
What does it matter? Leave me alone.
“Is it strange for a cat to have red eyes?” Shinji asked her.
“Not strange, exactly, but cats with red eyes usually have white fur,” she answered. “I’ve never seen a Russian Blue with red eyes.”
“Huh...” Shinji looked down at me. I looked up at Shinji. “...Maybe because he’s a mixed-breed stray?”
No, I am not a stray. I am your cat. I am not a stray, all right?
Ignoring my repeated meows, the woman stood up and spoke to Shinji.
“But, Shinji. I’m not going to say anything, but you may want to do something about this cat before the landlord finds out.”
She looked down at me and continued.
“This apartment doesn’t allow pets.”
Shinji nodded.
“I know...” Then he looked down at me once more. “I don’t think I’m keeping him, and I’m not planning to keep him.”
Ah—
Everything went dark before my eyes.
After parting with the young woman, I desperately followed Shinji up the apartment stairs. Shinji frowned as he unlocked the door to his room.
“Hey. Don’t come in. I’m telling you, you can’t come in.”
Why? Why? I’ll be quiet. I only want to be near you. I won’t scratch the walls, and I won’t chew on the cushions. I’ll stay quiet!
“I said no! Cats aren’t allowed in this apartment building.”
Yes, I know. I do know. That is why I have not been openly acting like your pet, have I? I will simply stay near you in secret. Please. I won’t cause you any trouble. I’ll be quiet. I’ll be good.
Still wearing a bitter expression, Shinji quickly slipped inside and tried to shut the door, but I slid smoothly between his legs and into the room.
“Ah! Hey!”
Having made my way promptly to the back of the room, I flattened myself against the tatami by the window.
When Shinji saw that, he let out a long “haah...” of a sigh, dropped his shoulders, and closed the door.
“Honestly... Why do you keep following me around? I’ve never even been nice to you.”
Looking utterly exhausted, Shinji came into the room and set the plastic bag from the bento shop on the low wooden table.
“If the landlord finds you, I might get kicked out of this apartment, you know that? You understand, right?”
Yes. I’ll be careful so that doesn’t happen. I have no intention of doing anything that would cause you trouble. Truly, I’ll be careful.
Shinji sat cross-legged in front of the low table and looked down at me with a deep sigh.
“...You don’t understand at all, do you?”
I do. I do understand!
After changing out of his school uniform—into his usual T-shirt and shorts—Shinji tossed his school shirt into the washing machine and turned it on.
Of course, while he was changing, I properly averted my eyes and looked out the window. At times like these, one must not abuse the privileges that come with being a cat. Even I know where to draw the line.
—Though I did want to look.
From the narrow wooden-floored kitchen where the washing machine stood, Shinji came back into the tatami room where I was, sat down in front of the low table again, and opened his schoolbag. He spread his textbooks and notebooks across the table, took a mechanical pencil from his pencil case, and seemed to begin his homework.
I very, very slowly stood up and sat down a short distance away from him.
In truth, I wanted to climb onto his lap.
I wanted to very badly.
But the last time I tried that, he grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and tossed me out the front door. It had been rather difficult to get back into the room after that.
So I would endure it.
But I wanted to be as close to him as possible.
I pressed my belly flat against the tatami. Then, little by little, I began pulling myself forward with my front paws, inching closer to Shinji.
In other words, I was doing a commando crawl.
Do not rush.
Little by little.
Little by little, little by little...
“...What are you doing?”
Before I realized it, Shinji had lifted his face from his notebook and was looking down at me in disbelief.
“Crawling toward me with your stomach flat on the floor like that...” Shinji looked terribly disturbed. “That kind of thing is creepy.”
...Yes, I suppose it is creepy.
After finishing his homework, Shinji cleared off the low table, then went to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of tea. From the plastic bag that had been pushed to one side of the table, he took out his bento.
I had seen this several turns ago. It was called a nori bento.
It was a simple boxed lunch: rice packed into a container, covered with a sheet of dried seaweed, with a little soy sauce drizzled over it, and a few side dishes placed on top.
As far as I knew, in this life, I had never seen Shinji eat anything other than this bento.
Did he really like nori bento that much? I did not think so. Still, in the previous turn, Shinji had not been living alone, so I could not say I had a complete grasp of his food preferences.
Lying on the tatami, I looked up at Shinji’s face as he ate.
—If only this body moved a little more as I wished.
Watching Shinji’s profile as he chewed his bento, I thought to myself.
I could have made meals for you. I would never have let you eat cold bento every single day.
I would never have let you live alone in this tiny, lonely room. I would never have let you fall asleep without saying “good night” to anyone.
Hm?
My gray ears twitched.
Saying “good night” to him before he fell asleep—perhaps I could still do that in this life?
“Could you not stare at me while I’m eating?”
Shinji spoke to me all of a sudden while I was lost in thought, and my eyes widened.
He was looking straight at me.
“...Just so you know, I’m not feeding you,” Shinji said, turning his face away. “Go find an owner who’ll actually feed you. Stop hanging around my place all the time.”
—I don’t need food.
I gave a small sound deep in my throat.
I only want to be near you. So that you will not be alone. So that you will not be lonely all by yourself.
After Shinji finished his bento, he glanced over at me.
I tilted my head.
What is it? Is there something you want to tell me?
For a while, Shinji stared at me. Then he let out a huge sigh, as if he had emptied all the air from his body. After that, he placed the lid of the bento container in front of me.
“—I hate that,” Shinji said, keeping his eyes averted from me. “I’m only leaving it because I don’t like it. Normally, I’d just throw it away.”
My eyes widened, and I stared at the lid placed at my feet.
On top of it was chikuwa.
Chikuwa—a tube-shaped fish cake, fried in seaweed batter. A standard side dish in nori bento.
“...If you’re hungry, you can eat it.”
Shinji said it in a tone that sounded almost desperate.
After taking a shower, Shinji came back into the room, moved the low table from the center of the room to one side, and laid out his futon.
Even as he did so, he kept glancing at me as if there were something he wanted to say.
Lying on the tatami beneath the window, I pretended not to notice and continued licking my front paw.
Shinji gave another small sigh, pulled the dangling light cord, and turned off the room light. Then he lay down on the futon.
A night breeze drifted in through the open window, gently stirring the curtains. It was a little humid. Soon, summer would arrive in earnest.
Once again, summer was coming.
To Shinji, lying there on his futon, I softly said good night.
“Mrow.”
That was probably how it sounded to him.
Shinji frowned, rolled over, and turned his back to me.
Facing that back, I said it quietly once more.
Good night.
May you have pleasant dreams.
And may tomorrow be a good day for you.
Shinji shifted slightly. Still facing away from me, he muttered something terribly small under his breath.
“—Good night.”
Of course, I heard him.
I smiled a little.
You really shouldn’t underestimate a cat’s hearing.