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It was late at night and they were sitting awkwardly next to eachother on the ground in some sketchy alleyway. Seonghyeon knows he's here for a reason, Keonho must have a lot on his mind considering the stolen alcohol and cigarettes laying carelessly between them.
Keonho took a swig of the vodka he stole from his parents, offering some to Seonghyeon but he just shook his head in quiet refusal.
Seonghyeon glanced down, taking a cigarette and lighting the tip. Neither of them really cared that they were still teenagers, Seonghyeon knew it was Keonhos escape when he wasn't feeling well and he never really judged him for it.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
Keonho first came up to Seonghyeon in 6th grade, back when he was still extraverted and sane. Ever since that day they became closer than they expected and everyone around them knew they were close. They'd do every single duo project together, always eat together and always disappear during breaks to just walk around aimlessly.
But about two years later everything took a slow turn. Keonho became quieter day by day, speaking less and less. Nobody exactly noticed at first since it was a slow change but Seonghyeon noticed. He noticed the way Keonho would hesitate before speaking and how he'd wear long sleeve shirts more often. Of course Seonghyeon had to ask him about it.
"Ya, is everything good with you?" Seonghyeon asked, not letting Keonho catch his breath from being pulled back behind the school right before third period started.
"Uhm... I'm fine, why?..." Keonho replied rather quietly.
"You sure? You look much quieter than before, it's a bit concerning." Seonghyeon replied, concerned.
"I told you I'm fine..."
The conversation ended at that, but Seonghyeon didn't stop noticing. He noticed how Keonho fidgeted with his fingers more than usual, how his leg shook quietly under the desk and especially how he'd only give short answers when the teachers called on him. The change was really strange.
One day Seonghyeon was talking with his other friends. Keonho sat behind him in class so he could hear what they were talking about and Seonghyeon was comfortable enough resting his arm on his desk during break.
"Keonho, what's that on your arm?" One of Seonghyeons friends said, pointing to the few cuts on his arm.
"Oh... it's nothing..." Keonho quickly rolled down his sleeves and the friend brushed it off, but not Seonghyeon.
He knew what those cuts looked like, he's not stupid. They were too evenly spaced apart and all of them were on his left arm. He knew they were intentional.
Once Keonho and Seonghyeon hung out more Keonho became more comfortable wearing short sleeves around Seonghyeon. Obviously Seonghyeon noticed the amount of cuts and scars on his wrist, arm and hand but didn't say anything. He didn't need to say anything since they both already knew.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
Keonho started drinking alcohol when he was in 9th grade when he figured out he could easily steal his parents alcohol since they didn't hide it from him. His parents didn't care enough to notice either way.
He opened up about it to Seonghyeon pretty quickly and of course Seonghyeon didn't judge him for it, he couldn't.
The first night they drank together was when Keonhos parents divorced, he felt so shitty and Seonghyeon knew better than to stop him so be thought at least being there with him would be better.
Seonghyeon only had a few shots but on the other hand Keonho drank half of the bottle which got his drunk real quick. That was also the first time they kissed.
Keonho wasn't gay, he was thought it was a sin and so he never really thought much about it. That night his mind had other plans, he doesn't know if it was because of the alcohol or what but Seonghyeon just looked so cute that night with his flushed cheeks and pale skin. Keonho couldn't stop himself before he was on top of him, lips attached to his like it was all that mattered.
Seonghyeon wasn't any better, he didn't let go until they were both breathless. They continued to make out and drink until 5am, coming to school the next day trying to hide the hickeys on their necks.
They never kissed or talked about it after that.
-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈
Now they're both sitting in a random alleyway, Keonhos more cautious about his drinking now even if he still feels shitty. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt and the cold left goosebumps on his scarred skin.
Seonghyeon slowly ran his fingers up and down Keonhos arm, feeling the raised lines on his skin. He always did that when Keonho was down and he knew it helped him calm down, soothing him until he forgot why he was even drinking this much.
Keonho took the cigarette from Seonghyeons fingers, taking a long drag before exhaling slowly, letting the smoke fill up the narrow space.
He leaned his head against Seonghyeons shoulder, giving the cigarette back to him. He was tired, the constant pressure and sickness made him lose his mind sometimes. He'd think about it for too long and suddenly he'd end up next to Seonghyeon again. It was his only way to cope without hurting himself.
Seonghyeon knew Keonho needed help, it wasn't anything new to him. Except Keonho didn't want help, he was so comfortable in his sickness that now he didn't want to leave. Seonghyeon doesn't quiet understand what that means but he tries his best and sometimes it makes Keonho smile.
Seonghyeon is the only one who cares.