Chapter Text
'the state or relationship of living together in a legal partnership'
Marriage.
You were 15 when your older cousin got married to her hotshot 6' cardiologist husband.
….and 12 years later? She was juggling her 9-5 as a front desk receptionist at the dental clinic in Tokyo,whilst raising three hellions. And her husband? cheating on her with his 'work wife'.
pathetic really. How can you call yourself a husband and treat your wife like that?
Your cousin's marriage wasn't the only marriage you watched fall apart. Your own parent's marriage was a bundle of chaos. The arguing,the cheating,the numerous times the police were called,all the dishes that were thrown at each other - it was fucking crazy. Even now,at the age of 55, your parents can't even be in the same vicinity without trying to kill one another.
13 years it went on, until they finally divorced whilst you were in the middle of high school and your brother was packing up to go off to university. 13 years of you watching your parents hatred for each other slowly grow. The once loving couple turned into a couple that had the feds called on them almost on a weekly basis by the neighbours. You never really knew what started it all and you definitely didn't know why they took so long to get divorced.
But one thing you were certain of was that you'd never fall in love. In fact there was one quote you lived by:
“If you love deeply, you're going to get hurt badly.”
― C.S. Lewis
…well its not the full quote - he actually adds 'but its still worth it' at the end. But you ignore it….just like you ignore your growing feelings for Kunikida.
Kunikida,aged 29, an idealist. And the man your parents arranged for you to marry 10 months ago. You were turning 27 and still single and so your parents (who for the first time in almost 2 decades actually agreed on something) introduced Kunikida. The vice president of the Armed Detective Agency. A detective you knew well on paper. After all, you were a prosecutor. A hotshot senior prosecutor on track to becoming the youngest deputy chief prosecutor of the Yokohama Prosecution service.
You were a career woman. Work orientated…or as your friends liked to describe you as - a workaholic. It was the one thing you had in common with kunikida but other than that you and Kunikida were different.
Kunikida was a college drop out, you had a law degree from a prestigious university. Kunikida constantly feels the need to organise, gather, and schedule everything. You had your own system,going with the flow, and it fucking worked. Kunikida was stoic. You were loud with your words - opinionated and blunt.
too blunt? maybe.
Anyways, the two of you getting married some what made sense - you both didn't want a real relationship. And so if someone asked you if you were happy you married a man that doesn't even sleep in the same bed, let alone the same room as you, you'd say fuck yeah.
And so that's how you and kunikida spent the last 10 months…as 2 people married in the eyes of the law. but in the eyes of everyone around them? the two of you were housemates who barely communicate unless its about who's turn it is to do chores and who's turn it was to cook dinner.
So when was it you fell in love with him?
When you lay in your cold queen sized bed at 2am struggling to fall asleep you think about him. the things about him that you fell in love with. The way he puts his all into his work. His need to schedule everything in his cute notebook. His sudden outbursts, when dazai vexes him with his suicidal attempts, makes you realise he's not exactly the 'calm idealist detective' he likes to pretend he is.But what made you fall for him was his caring nature…
oh how you could go on and on about all the different things you love about him.
But some day…one day, you will stop falling in love with him. In fact, the reality that you weren't his ideal woman should have been the one thing that prevented you from even catching feelings for the tall man in the first place. You found out about kunikida's 'ideal woman' when Dazai had the courtesy to show you the extensive list kunikida had written down in his notebook on your wedding day. At the time you didn't care, you barely knew kunikida (though it was a fucking weird read). But you started caring 3 months ago when you fell for him.
3 months ago you really started noticing him. His behaviour.His stubbornness. His personality. And the way he looks.
His long slender fingers which you've shamelessly dreamt about during your lonely nights. How they'd feel on your body, touching you, worshipping you, inside you. His golden blond hair. And fuckkk - those glasses. You were always a sucker for men with glasses. And after a shower, wearing just a towel you would catch a glimpse of the body hidden under his work clothes - if all detectives looked like kunikida maybe you would have gone into a life of crime instead of becoming a prosecutor.
It was pathetic. You were falling for a man who didn't love you back - so you you did what every smart woman would do. You were able to pick up hobbies to distract yourself at home so you wouldn't fantasise about him…and the future the two of you could have if he loved you.
y/n l/n.
Prosecutor. The demon prosecutor - as the underworld knew you as. The woman he married 10 months ago. The woman Kunikida had fell for before the two of you had even officially met.
Kunikida fell in love with you on the 19th of July, 2 years ago. You had transferred to Yokohama to take on the role of senior prosecutor at the Yokohama prosecution service.And the first case in Yokohama that you were taking to court? A murder case the armed detective agency,specifically kunikida and dazai, had solved.
And god you were a vision. Beautiful. Drop dead gorgeous. A vision. And not just in the way you looked but the way you obliterated the defence, you were ruthless. And the way your eye twitched when the defence bought up a stupid argument - almost as if you were offended that they were doing a shitty job at trying to save the accused from a 15 year prison sentence with no parole, Kunikida fell hard and fast. He fell for that fiery short temper and that sharp tongue that sliced people's ego's like butter.
You weren't his ideal woman but you were the woman he loved. The woman who surpassed his ideals and had become the apple of his eye. And yet he was fucking terrified - terrified of fucking up, breaking your heart, not being enough, not being the man you deserved. His notebook was his rock, it contained his ideals,plans,etc. But his notebook had no guide in how to control his feelings for y/n.
He's not sure why he let his parents arrange him to marry you, for someone who was trying to move on from you he sure fucked that up by marrying you. And stupidly he had been the one that had insisted on living separate lives…not even trying to let you get to know him. And so at 2 am when he's struggling to sleep because he's too caught up with overthinking - he wishes he could dig up the ground and just die. Because he loved you…so badly. And fuck he regrets pushing you away before he could even let you in.
"Move out of the way or I'll run your skinny ass over." you grit out through your clenched teeth.
Kunikida didn't know why he was standing in your designated parking spot at the apartment complex parking lot at 7:30pm on a Tuesday evening. And honestly…yeah he was being dramatic - but he wasn't about to admit that to you of all people.
"You were meant to arrive home at approximately 6:30pm. I made seared tataki bonito and plated it for the two of us. You are an hour late and I'd like to know why. And secondly, i am not skinny i am of an average weig-" Kunikida gets cut off when you put your right foot on the accelerator and almost run over the 6'2 man.
Thank god Kunikida had enough ADA training that he was able to move out of the way in time before you ran over him with your Mercedes-Benz.
"Have you lost your mind?! You could have killed me." Kunikida exasperated as he watched you park the car.
"Your screeching is hurting my ears you cunt." you scoffs as you close your car door behind you and begin walking to the elevator, your red bottom heels echoing in the parking lot.
Kunikida's eye twitches as he follows you, eyes flickering to your ass before looking away.
"Why are you even late - you normally refuse to work overtime." Kunikida mutters as the two of you step in the elevator.
"Tanaka is making me do 'transition work'…so i can ease into my future position as deputy chief prosecutor more easily." you reply sighing.
Kunikida nods in acknowledgement as silence fills the elevator. His eyes flicker to you - even after a long day of work you look divine. That tight blouse hugged your chest deliciously, and that sinfully tight pencil skirt hugged your hips perfectly - oh he had to hold onto the railings so he wouldn't fall to his knees and beg you to let him fuck you. And the hand that wasn't gripping onto the railing? It was slowly moving to touch your face…just for the elevator to open to the floor of your shared apartment.
Oh my god?
What the hell was he doing - about to touch you like some creep who can't keep his hands to himself?! Or worse - like an actual husband?! He internally berates himself for almost humiliating himself as the two of you walk towards your apartment door,.
"You should have ate without me" you mutter as you sit down opposite him at the dinner table.
"I-i didn't wait for you…i simply wasn't hungry…but now i am hungry so i'm-" kunikida weakly stutters trying not to sound like he was waiting for you to come home but he quiets down as he watches you eat.
Eat his food. Eat the food he made you. Its why he liked it when it was his day to make dinner - a way to a woman's heart is food….that's what ranpo told him at least. And so like every other aspect of his life, Kunikida took extra caution when it was his turn to make dinner.
There was a silence as the two of you continued to eat, and if kunikida was going to be honest today was the most the two of you had talked in a while. The two of you were cold to each other. He couldn't really remember the last time he had a peaceful conversation with you without it turning into a screaming match…it wasn't your fault…most of the time. Kunikida just didn't know how to express his feelings, he didn't know how to talk to you without almost accidentally confessing his feelings. And so logically he found it easier to argue with you. Consequently, you didn't appreciate coming home and getting nagged at. It was like everything you did pissed off kunikida, hence why you believed he hated you.
The two of you did often eat together - the only "romantic" thing the two of you did. And even then - it'd end with one of you getting pissed off. But Kunikida treasured these small moments.
"y/n, you are eating too fast. Eating too fast can cause indigestion." kunikida accidentally blurts out.
He winces. Fuck. he meant to ask about your day not lecture you like a mother. And by the way your eye twitches,and the grip on your fork tightens…yeah he's pissed you off. And to his surprise - you don't snap back. Too tired to argue back you eat at a slower pace.
Kunikida takes out his notebook and places it on the table,and under 'spousal behaviour' he writes
'y/n didn't express her anger after i pointed out her habit of eating at a fast pace.'
'progress'
He looks up as you walk away from the table taking both his and your empty plates to the sink to wash up.
The two of you may not get along most times - but you had a routine. Whoever cooks, makes the mandatory ginger tea after dinner, whilst the other washes up the dishes.
As you washed the plates, you felt kunikida's tall frame hovering behind you - leaning close as he opened the cabinet above your head to get two mugs. The warm,creamy scent of his signature vanilla cologne lingered around you as you scrubbed the first plate. You could feel the warmth from his body pressing against you as you tried to focus on anything but his presence. Your grip on the plate tightened as you felt the front of his body press against your back. Fuck.
And kunikida? Oh he was a weak man. A weak,pathetic man. As his left hand grab onto the two mugs, his right hand itched to touch you. to show you how badly he needed you. Clearing his throat, Kunikida stepped back and with the two mugs he begun brewing the ginger tea.
He was good at keeping his distance. He wasn't going to ruin everything just because he couldn't keep his feelings in check.