Chapter Text
The glow of the television was the only source of light in the dorm's living room, tinting the walls a flickering blue. Around the main armchair, the group members had settled in however they could: some sprawled out on the rugs with their eyes already half-closed, and others paying absolutely no attention to the movie playing on the screen.
Yuki, sitting on one of the edges of the armchair with his legs curled against his chest, kept his eyes fixed on the subtitles. His eyes were slightly narrowed from the exhaustion of practice, completely immersed in the plot and the warm, noisy atmosphere of the room. To him, it was just another one of those many quiet nights in the dorm.
In the center of the large sofa sat Yu and Geon. Their relationship was something natural and openly known by everyone in the group for a long time, so no one found it strange to see them sharing the space in such a domestic way. Geon was leaning back with his spine against Yu’s chest, while Yu kept an arm around his waist, tracing lazy circles over his t-shirt almost unconsciously. Every now and then, Geon would tilt his head a little to whisper something about the movie, and Yu would simply nod with a soft smile, pressing a barely perceptible kiss to the crown of his head.
It was an affection so subtle and routine that it went unnoticed by anyone. However, what Yuki failed to notice, engrossed as he was in the screen, were the intermittent glances the couple shared over him.
Whenever Yuki let out a small laugh at a scene or adjusted the oversized hoodie that covered his hands, Geon’s eyes would drift toward him, shining with a soft warmth in the dim light. Yu, noticing his boyfriend's gesture, would follow the direction of his gaze, watching Yuki with a quiet attention—one that went a bit beyond mere camaraderie—before adjusting his grip around Geon once more. Yuki remained in his own world, yawning softly, completely oblivious to the invisible thread beginning to weave around him.
"Alright, I give up," one of the boys on the floor announced, stretching with a loud yawn as he stood up. "If I stay here a minute longer, I’m going to fall asleep on the rug. Goodnight."
The announcement acted like a domino effect. One by one, the other members began to get up, dragging their feet and complaining about the built-up exhaustion. The space, once noisy, began to empty quickly amidst murmurs of "get some rest" and the sound of bedroom doors closing at the end of the hallway.
Yuki blinked, snapping out of his trance as he saw the movie credits begin to roll across the screen. He looked around, realizing that the living room had suddenly become empty and quiet, save for the soft music playing at the end of the film.
Out of sheer inertia and laziness, Yuki didn't get up right away. The armchair was far too comfortable, and the atmosphere was so peaceful that he found it hard to muster the strength to walk to his room. He rested his cheek against his knee, staring at the screen with a blank mind, feeling strangely at ease.
On the couch next to him, the couple's movement was minimal. Yu simply adjusted his position, keeping Geon pulled close to his body, but both of them turned their eyes toward the younger boy. In the silence of the room, their glances no longer had to be discreet; they fixed on Yuki with absolute patience, as if they had been waiting for exactly this moment: the instant the noise faded and he was left there, defenseless and still.
"Aren't you going to sleep, Yuki?" Geon asked. His voice, drawn-out and soft from the late-night atmosphere, broke the silence so warmly that it didn't startle Yuki; it only lulled him a little further.
Yuki turned his head slowly, looking at them with eyes heavy with sleep. He gave them a small, somewhat drowsy smile, totally oblivious to the intentions lingering in the air.
"Not yet..." Yuki murmured, settling a bit deeper into the cushion. "I'm too lazy to get up right now. Are you guys leaving already?"
On the large sofa, Geon stretched lazily, breaking his embrace with Yu. He let out a low yawn, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand before looking at the two boys remaining in the living room.
"I’m absolutely dead on my feet," Geon said, his voice raspy, offering a soft smile to Yu and then another to Yuki. "I’m going to bed. Don’t stay up too late, alright?"
Yuki nodded with his head still resting on his knees, murmuring an almost inaudible "Goodnight, hyung." He listened to Geon's muffled footsteps fading down the hallway and the barely perceptible sound of his bedroom door closing.
The living room suddenly felt much larger, plunged into a silence broken only by the constant hum of the air conditioning. The members loved sleeping with the thermostat turned all the way down, claiming there was nothing better than bundling up under thick blankets, but Yuki was starting to pay the price for that habit. A slight shiver ran down his spine, making him curl up a bit tighter inside his oversized hoodie. He rubbed his arms, trying to keep his attention on the screen, where another random movie had already started playing automatically.
Yu, who had now claimed the center of the large couch, stretched his long legs across the upholstery and rested his arm along the backrest. From his position, he noticed the subtle tremble in the younger boy's shoulders and how he tried to hide his hands inside his sleeves.
"Are you cold?" Yu asked. His voice sounded deep, drawn-out by the stillness of the early morning.
Yuki looked up, a bit embarrassed to have been caught.
"A little," he admitted with a shy smile, shrugging his shoulders. "It’s just... the AC is really cold."
Yu let out a low chuckle, a warm sound that seemed to take some of the chill out of the air. With complete naturalness, he patted the empty space Geon had left beside him—the exact spot where the couch blanket still held some residual warmth.
"Come here," Yu offered, adjusting the cushions behind him. "There’s room, and the air doesn't blow as directly over here."
Yuki blinked, processing the invitation with a mind slowed by sleep. In his head, Yu was his hyung, someone he trusted completely, and the idea of leaving the freezing armchair to seek refuge on the large sofa was far too tempting to overanalyze. There were no hidden motives in his mind; just an overwhelming desire to be comfortable and warm.
"Thanks, hyung," Yuki murmured, untangling his legs.
He stood up, dragging his bare feet across the rug, and walked over to the large sofa. With total innocence, he slid into the designated space, settling down next to Yu. The contrast was instant: Yu’s body radiated a comforting warmth. Yuki curled up on his side, tucking his legs in and subtly pressing his back against his hyung’s side, instinctively seeking that source of protection against the cold of the room.
Yu didn't take long to react. He extended the arm he had resting on the backboard and draped it over Yuki’s shoulders, pulling him a bit closer in a protective embrace, while using his other hand to tug the couch blanket up, covering them both to the waist.
Yuki let out a sigh of relief, letting himself sink into the comfort of the moment. He rested his head near Yu’s shoulder, taking in the subtle scent of his cologne and the steady, slow rhythm of his breathing.
The warmth beneath the blanket had turned dense, almost heavy. Yuki kept his eyes glued to the television screen, but if anyone had asked him what the scene was about at that moment, he wouldn't have known how to answer. Inevitably, his entire attention had hyper-focused on a single point: the weight of Yu’s hand on his body.
At first, his hyung’s hand had rested gently on his stomach—a gesture Yuki interpreted as a lazy, brotherly embrace to keep him close and sheltered from the cold. However, Yu’s fingers began to move. They were slow, subtle caresses, tracing almost imperceptible circles over the fabric of his hoodie. Yuki caught his breath for a second, feeling a strange warmth settle in the pit of his stomach, but he forced himself to relax.
“It’s just Yu-hyung,” he told himself, trying to convince himself that it was a common display of affection between them.
The true jolt to his heart came a moment later.
Slowly but firmly, Yu’s hand began to slide downward. It descended past his stomach, brushing the waistband of his pajama pants, dipping a bit lower than any casual display of affection could ever justify.
Yuki’s body tensed completely, stiff as a stone. The alarms in his head went off instantly, and he felt his cheeks burn in the darkness. His eyes widened, his pulse racing wildly against his ribs. What was happening? Had his hand just slipped?
Before Yuki could even process the panic or try to move, Yu’s hand stopped. As if suddenly realizing his mistake, his hyung let out a low sigh near his ear.
"Ah, sorry, Yuki... I was falling asleep," Yu murmured, his voice thick with drowsiness—a husky lullaby that sounded perfectly believable in the stillness of the early morning.
Yu’s hand moved up immediately, returning to the safety of his stomach, and this time he wrapped it around him with a slightly firmer grip, pulling Yuki’s back completely flush against his chest in a definitive embrace.
Yuki let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding, feeling an immense wave of relief. “It was an accident,” he thought, mentally scolding himself for thinking badly of his hyung. Yu was simply tired, and exhaustion was making him lose track of space. Of course that’s what it was. Yu was with Geon, he loved him and respected him; there was no way that had been on purpose.
He tried with all his might to refocus on the movie's dialogue, but the atmosphere had already completely shifted for him. The innocence with which he had laid down on that sofa had vanished, replaced by a hyper-alert awareness of everything around him.
Now, he was painfully conscious of the proximity of their bodies. He could feel Yu’s broad chest pressing against his back with every inhalation, the almost scorching heat radiating from his skin through their clothes, and his hyung’s chin barely brushing the strands of his hair whenever he moved even a millimeter. Even the woody, lavender scent of Yu’s cologne seemed to have grown more intense, filling his lungs.
Yuki remained completely motionless, his eyes fixed on the flickering light of the television, trying to control the rapid beating of his own chest so Yu wouldn't notice just how much that little "accident" had unraveled him.
Yu’s grip around his stomach tightened, a deep embrace that pulled Yuki’s back completely flush against his chest. To Yuki, that weight began to feel overwhelming; every touch ignited a strange heat inside him that he didn't know how to categorize—a sharp, unfamiliar sensation that made him feel strangely exposed in the midst of the dim light.
He glanced toward the corner of the screen and noticed the movie still had over an hour left. He wasn't going to last that long with his heart threatening to burst out of his chest.
"Hyung..." Yuki murmured, his voice a bit shaky as he tried to sound as natural as possible. "I think the movie is going to take a really long time. I’m pretty sleepy already, we should head to the bedroom to sleep."
In the group's dorm, the three of them shared the same room. Geon and Yu slept together in the double bed at the far end, while Yuki had his own single bed right next to it, barely a couple of steps away. Thinking of the safety of his own bed and Geon’s sleeping presence felt like the best refuge to calm his racing pulse.
Yu let out a low chuckle, a vibrating sound that Yuki felt directly against his back. There seemed to be a hint of hidden amusement in his tone, as if he were reading the younger boy's restlessness perfectly.
"It’s still early, Yuki," Yu replied, his voice brushing against the boy’s ear. "We should finish watching it... or we could do something more interesting."
Yuki blinked in the darkness, his innocent mind processing those words. Something more interesting? What did he mean? Before he could even form a question, the air caught completely in his throat.
Yu’s hand didn't move over his clothes this time. With calculated slowness, his hyung’s warm fingers slipped beneath the hem of his oversized hoodie, making direct contact with the bare skin of his stomach.
Yuki stifled a gasp. The contrast of the warm hand against his skin sent a violent shiver through him. He tried to convince himself that it was a mistake again, but Yu’s palm began to move up and down, caressing the soft warmth of his abdomen with a firmness that was anything but accidental. Yuki’s breathing grew erratic as he felt those long fingers slowly descend, tracing a line of fire down his belly until dangerously brushing the waistband of his underwear.
"H-Hyung..." Yuki managed to articulate, his eyes wide with shock and panic.
Frightened by the audacity of the gesture, Yuki tried to push himself forward to break free from the grip and get off the couch, but Yu had already anticipated it. The arm his hyung had free around his shoulders tensed, pinning him against the backrest, while the hand beneath his clothes pressed against his stomach gently but with unquestionable strength, making it clear he wasn't going to let him go anywhere.
"Quiet, Yuki... Watch the movie," Yu whispered against his ear, his voice so soft it felt like a caress, yet heavy with an absolute authority that froze the younger boy's thoughts.
Almost at the same time, Yu’s hand finished its descent down his stomach and rested directly over his crotch.
Through the thin fabric of his pajama pants, the heat of Yu’s palm felt scorching. Yuki’s heart took a violent leap, hammering against his ribs so hard he thought his hyung might hear it. Panic consumed him entirely. This was wrong. This was terribly wrong. Yu had a boyfriend; Geon was sleeping just a few walls away, and the two of them were a happy couple. Yuki couldn't be the reason that broke. He didn't want to be Yu’s dirty secret, nor did he want to betray the trust of Geon, who just a few minutes prior had offered up his space with total affection.
“I have to move. I have to push his hand away. I still have time to stop this,” Yuki repeated to himself, desperately trying to get his brain to react.
But his body wouldn't obey. The shock had him completely paralyzed, trapped in a limbo between the terror of what was happening and the intense wave of heat that Yu’s direct touch was sending through his system. He couldn't articulate a single word; his throat had closed up completely.
Taking advantage of his immobility, Yu leaned in a bit closer. His lips, warm and damp, left the proximity of his ear to press a slow kiss into the curve of his neck. Yuki choked back a groan that stayed trapped in his chest. Yu gently sucked on the sensitive skin of his neck, right where his racing pulse was throbbing, and then left another kiss a bit higher up, near his jawline.
It was in that exact instant that the betrayal of his own body became undeniable.
Even though his mind was screaming at him to stop, a sharp, electric current shot down his spine, causing his crotch to react immediately to the pressure of Yu’s hand. Feeling completely overwhelmed and ashamed by his own physical response, Yuki squeezed his eyes shut, his eyelashes trembling against his cheeks.
With a final remnant of resistance, Yuki’s hand came up shaking and gripped Yu’s wrist tightly, trying, in vain, to push it away from his body. But his fingers had barely any strength. Instead of pushing him away, he ended up squeezing his hyung’s wrist almost as if he were holding onto him to keep from drowning.
Yu seemed to notice the subtle weakness of his resistance. With an imperceptible smile against his skin, he completely ignored the weak grip on his wrist and began to move his fingers over Yuki’s crotch, starting slow, rhythmic caresses that made a ragged sigh escape the younger boy, losing himself definitively in the dense darkness of the room.
"Has anyone ever touched you like this before?" Yu whispered. His voice was a deep, raspy thread right next to his ear, accompanied by the heat of his breath that made Yuki's skin prickle.
Yuki couldn't answer. He was too embarrassed, his face burning a fiery red that he was grateful the darkness of the living room concealed. He tried to hide his face in Yu’s shoulder, but the grip on his crotch tightened a bit, reminding him of the reality of his situation.
"You're so good for your hyung," Yu continued, letting out a low chuckle that vibrated directly against Yuki’s body. "You got so hard just from my touch, Yuki. You're adorable."
Every word was like a dart of heat that dismantled what little resistance he had left. Before Yuki could fully process the weight of his hyung’s sinful praise, Yu moved with agility. He forced him to turn on the sofa, gently pushing him by the shoulders until Yuki was lying back against the cushions, his back to the upholstery, with Yu positioning himself halfway on top of him.
In the process, Yu yanked the blanket with one hand and tossed it aside. The dorm’s air conditioning, which was still blowing heavily, hit Yuki’s body full-on. The contrast was immediate and violent: the freezing cold of the room crashing against the scorching heat radiating from Yu’s body and from his own inside. Yuki let out a shivering gasp, instinctively curling up beneath the other's weight.
Yu didn't give him time to think about the cold. He lowered his head and attacked his neck again, but this time with more intensity, leaving wet kisses and soft bites that made Yuki arch his back, gripping tightly to the shoulders of Yu’s hoodie. He moved up his jawline, brushed his cheeks, and finally, sought his lips.
When their mouths met, Yuki’s world came to a complete halt.
It was his first kiss. An experience he had always imagined would happen in a romantic and perfectly planned setting, not in the dorm's living room in the middle of the night, clandestinely, and with the boyfriend of one of his best friends. But Yu’s kiss was so demanding, so warm and intoxicating, that Yuki forgot about everything else. He opened his lips shyly, letting himself be guided by his hyung’s expert rhythm, losing himself in the taste and intensity of the moment.
While keeping him completely dizzy and breathless with the kiss, Yu’s hand descended beneath his hoodie once more. This time, it didn't stop at any barrier. With skillful movements, he slipped his fingers under the elastic waistband of his underwear, finally making direct contact with his bare skin.
Yuki muffled a groan against Yu’s mouth as he felt his hyung’s warm palm completely wrap around his erection. The direct touch was an explosion of sensations far too intense; his body reacted with an involuntary twitch, caught between the overwhelming pleasure of the friction and the weight of a guilt that, despite the ecstasy, refused to leave his chest.
The kiss changed rhythm from one second to the next, losing any trace of its initial softness. Yu caught Yuki’s lower lip between his own, sucking on it deeply before deepening the contact in a much dirtier, more erratic way. Yuki, completely inexperienced, felt the air escape his lungs; he didn't know how to breathe, let alone how to move his lips to keep up with his hyung’s overwhelming intensity.
Noticing the younger boy's adorable clumsiness, Yu let out a muffled chuckle between their mouths—a silent tease that vibrated in both their chests—before slipping his tongue inside without asking for permission. The wet, demanding contact made Yuki squeeze his eyelids shut, feeling his head spin. Overwhelmed by the tidal wave of sensations, he tried to shift his body beneath Yu, but the older boy's weight kept him perfectly anchored against the couch cushions.
When Yu finally took pity on him and pulled back a few inches, a string of saliva connected their lips for a brief second in the dim light. Yuki was left gasping, his face burning with a blush that scalded all the way to his ears, his chest heaving wildly. In contrast, Yu seemed to be completely in control, without a single hint of agitation. He looked down at him with dark, glittering eyes, his lips curving into a sly, self-satisfied smile.
Without giving him time to recover, Yu’s hand left the inside of his underwear only to hook the elastic waistband of his pajama pants and boxers, starting to pull them down with calculated slowness to expose Yuki’s erection to the cold air of the room.
The rush of the air conditioning directly against his intimacy snapped Yuki awake instantly. A cold, sharp panic flooded back into his body. What were they supposed to be doing? How far did Yu plan to take this? Why were they doing this in the common living room? And why did it feel so fucking good?
"H-Hyung... no," Yuki managed to articulate, his voice trembling so much it sounded like a broken plea. He tried to push Yu’s shoulders with his shaking hands. "Really... we shouldn't do this. Geon-hyung is in the room... this is wrong."
Yu didn't even flinch at his weak attempt at resistance. He caught both of Yuki’s wrists with just one of his hands, pinning them to the sofa above his head, leaving his other hand free to wrap around the younger boy's erect member once more, delivering a firm squeeze that wrenched a pitiful groan from Yuki.
"You're so fucking adorable when you try to be good, Yuki," Yu whispered, leaning in until his lips brushed against his earlobe, making the younger boy's legs go weak. "You love it when I do this to you, don't you?"
The movement of Yu’s hand became constant, an expert, rhythmic stroking that wrapped around Yuki’s length with perfect pressure. Yuki shuddered from head to toe, involuntarily arching his back at the wave of pure pleasure that struck him right in the gut. Never in his life had he experienced anything so intense; every friction of Yu’s palm felt like an electric shock that left him completely breathless.
However, alongside the pleasure, guilt returned with the force of a sledgehammer. Enjoying this was wrong. Wanting it not to stop was a betrayal. Yuki began to shake his head against the cushion, trying to look away as his damp, glossy eyes filled with tears of pure moral frustration.
Seeing the internal battle written all over his face, Yu let out a low chuckle, a dark, amused sound that made the younger boy's skin prickle.
"Your body doesn't lie, Yuki," Yu whispered before trapping his lips in another deep kiss.
This time, Yu pushed his tongue inside with a voracious hunger, completely dominating Yuki’s mouth and drowning out the helpless little sounds he tried to make. The kiss, combined with the relentless friction of his hyung’s hand down there, was too much for the younger boy's inexperienced body. Since this was the first time he had ever shared anything like this with anyone, the climax didn't take long to approach, racing up his legs and pooling at the base of his stomach like a ticking time bomb.
The weight of the situation, the overstimulation, and the fear of ruining his hyungs' relationship completely overwhelmed Yuki. A pair of heavy tears finally slipped down his temples, losing themselves in the strands of his hair. He wanted to cry, trapped in that limbo where the physical pleasure was sublime but the emotional pain was unbearable.
Yu watched the tears rolling down Yuki’s face, and far from stopping, the younger boy's vulnerability seemed to ignite something darker inside him. He broke the kiss with a wet snap and went straight down to his neck. He caught the sensitive skin just above his collarbone, sucking hard until leaving a deep mark—a hickey that would mark Yuki as his.
"Are you crying because you love so much when your hyung touches your little dick? Mhm?" Yu whispered against his hot skin, his voice heavy with a dense authority as he quickened the pace of his hand. "Be a good boy for your hyung, Yuki."
Yu left another wet mark near his jawline, squeezing his member firmly at the base to delay the end for just a second, driving the younger boy crazy.
"Cum for your hyung. Let me see how much you’ll cry when you come in my hand," he ordered in a possessive whisper.
Yuki let out a pitiful whimper, gritting his teeth to keep from groaning out loud in the empty living room. Seeing Yu control his body with such ease and hearing those filthy, possessive words left him feeling completely unraveled, as if he were facing a stranger who—tragically and deliciously—knew every single one of his weaknesses.
The pace of Yu’s hand became relentless, and the tension coiled in Yuki’s core simply exploded.
With one last muffled whimper, Yuki violently arched his back, lifting his hips off the sofa as he came hard into his hyung’s palm. The aftershocks of pleasure made him shudder from head to toe, and the intensity of his first shared orgasm was so overwhelming that his senses shut down completely. Everything was too much. Too much heat, too much cold, too many new sensations.
As the climax began to wane, leaving his body weak and trembling, Yuki couldn't hold it back anymore and burst into tears. It was a silent cry, a bittersweet tangle where the relief of physical pleasure instantly intertwined with a crushing guilt. He felt dirty, miserable; the image of Geon sleeping peacefully just on the other side of the wall settled into his mind as a stark reminder of the betrayal he had just committed. He wasn't even sure if he had enjoyed it anymore; he only knew that remorse was eating away at his chest.
Yu, far from being bothered by his tears, looked down at him with a renewed softness.
"Good boy, you did so well," he praised in a whisper, tenderly kissing the tip of his nose.
With complete composure, Yu grabbed some tissues from the coffee table to wipe his hand and clean the younger boy. Then, with incredibly gentle hands, he pulled up his boxers and pajama pants, adjusting the oversized hoodie so he was covered and protected from the room's chill once more. Once he was finished, Yu lay down beside him in the narrow space of the sofa, pulling Yuki’s trembling body directly against his chest to cradle him.
He slipped one arm under Yuki's head and used the other to wrap around his waist, his long fingers beginning to trace slow, soothing strokes through his messy hair. With the thumb of his other hand, Yu wiped away the damp tears that kept slipping down Yuki’s cheeks, treating him with a delicacy that contrasted drastically with the intensity of just a few minutes ago.
"Did you like it, Yuki?" Yu asked in a low lullaby, his voice deep. "Or did hyung do something wrong? Tell me."
Yuki hid his face in the crook of Yu’s neck, breathing in his scent. His throat was so tight from crying that the words simply wouldn't come; he felt that if he tried to speak, he would end up confessing how much he hated himself at that very moment for having wanted every single second of his touch. Unable to articulate anything, he simply shook his head against his skin, wanting to convey that Yu hadn't done anything wrong, but rather that the situation itself was the problem.
Yu seemed to understand his silent conflict. He let out a soft sigh and pressed a tender, lingering kiss to his tear-stained cheek, comforting him while continuing the gentle rhythm of his fingers through his hair.
"Alright. Let's get some sleep, Yuki," Yu whispered to him, holding him a bit tighter against his warm body, letting the younger boy cry himself out against his chest in the dead silence of the early morning.
From that night on, Yuki’s life became a constant tightrope walk. The days began to blur into a routine of guilt and confusion that threatened to drown him at any moment. No matter what he was doing, his mind always found its way back to the living room sofa, to the contrast of the freezing air against his skin, and to the weight of Yu’s body pressed on top of his.
During practices in the dance studio, Yuki’s distraction became evident. On more than one occasion, the choreographer had to snap fingers in front of his face to shake him out of his trance, or one of the members would tap his shoulder upon noticing he had gone completely still, staring at a fixed point in the mirror. Yuki would apologize immediately, feeling the heat rush to his cheeks, but the truth was that Yu’s reflection in the glass—moving with that feline confidence he now knew in a different way—was enough to unravel him completely.
Group dinners were another form of silent torture. While the other members laughed, clinked their glasses, and shared food, Yuki did little more than toy with the chopsticks on his plate. He listened to the conversations as if the sound were reaching him through a thick layer of water.
What disturbed him most was Yu.
Yuki would watch him out of the corner of his eye, desperately searching for any crack in his armor, any sign of regret, discomfort, or nervousness. But there was nothing. Yu acted with a baffling normality. He laughed at the group's jokes, chimed in about the next day's schedule, and shared domestic gestures with Geon as if that night had never happened.
With a sinking heart, Yuki wondered if his hyung regretted what they had done. Didn't it weigh on him to have done that to Geon? Or was it that to Yu, it hadn't meant anything more than a single-night game?
That apparent indifference made Yuki’s guilt swell until it became unbearable, especially when it came to Geon.
Every time Geon approached him to ask how he was doing, to offer him some of his food, or simply to ruffle his hair with that same brotherly affection as always, Yuki felt the ground open up beneath his feet. He couldn't look him in the eye. Whenever Geon sought his gaze, Yuki would avert his eyes toward the floor, toward his phone, or anywhere else, terrified that his hyung might read in his pupils the exact kind of betrayal he had committed behind his back.
He felt he didn't deserve Geon’s kindness, and the weight of being the third wheel—the silent "homewrecker" of the group's most stable relationship—ate away at him from the inside. The guilt was right there, dense, dark, and sharp, reminding him every single second that he was a bad friend.
But Yuki’s true conflict, what truly made him want to cry with frustration at himself in the loneliness of his bed, was the other half of his thoughts. Because beneath that layer of remorse, hidden deep within his chest, a dangerous spark of arousal remained very much alive.
No matter how hard he tried to deny it, his body remembered perfectly well just how good it had felt. It remembered the warmth of Yu’s hand slipping under his clothes, the intensity of that first dirty kiss that had stolen his breath, and the deeply possessive way his hyung had spoken into his ear.
In the darkness of his room, just a few steps away from the bed where Yu and Geon slept together, Yuki would catch himself hugging his pillow tightly, his pulse racing and his core burning, realizing—with a mixture of horror and desire—just how desperately he wanted to do it all over again.
On the day of the dress rehearsal, the built-up tension finally took its toll. After running through the same choreography for the fourth consecutive time, Tomoya stopped the music and dropped to the floor, exhausted. The other members weren't slow to follow suit, complaining about the heat and the fatigue.
"I need caffeine shot straight into my veins or I’m going to pass out right here," Hyui exclaimed melodramatically, covering his eyes with his forearm. "Yuki, you’re the youngest, could you run to the corner café and buy coffee for everyone?"
Yuki blinked, snapping out of his umpteenth trance of the day. Feeling useful was better than staying trapped in his own head, so he nodded immediately, adjusting his hoodie.
"Sure, hyung, I'll go. Put your orders in the group chat and..."
"I’ll come with you. That’s too many coffees for you to carry by yourself," a deep voice interrupted from across the room.
Yuki froze. Turning his head, he saw Yu standing up with utter leisure, brushing the dust off his sweatpants. His dark eyes locked onto Yuki with that quiet intensity that always made the younger boy's hairs stand on end. Being alone with Yu outside the dorm, walking down the street, was the last thing Yuki needed for his mental health. Panic settled deep in his chest.
"N-No! No need, Yu-hyung," Yuki blurted out, perhaps a bit too quickly, earning a curious look from a couple of the members. "Really, the café has those large cardboard cup holders. I can handle it. I’m leaving now."
Yuki spun around, ready to bolt through the door of the dance studio before Yu could insist, but a warm, familiar hand rested on his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.
"Come on, Yuki," Geon said with a bright smile, appearing at his side. "I'll help you."
Yuki’s world stopped for a second. He looked at Geon and then shifted his gaze to Yu, who simply raised an eyebrow with a hint of restrained amusement on his face, returning to his spot on the floor without putting up a fight. This was a thousand times worse. Being alone with Yu made him nervous, but being alone with Geon—the hyung he felt he was betraying every single second of the day—was psychological torture.
"Hyung, seriously, it’s not necessary..." Yuki tried to protest, his voice growing weaker.
"I already said I’m going," Geon laughed, giving him a friendly nudge on his back toward the hallway. "We’ll be right back!" he shouted to the rest of the group before closing the studio door.
There was no escape now. Yuki walked down the company hallway and then along the sidewalk, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, keeping his eyes glued to his sneakers. A storm was brewing inside his head: Does he know something? Did Yu tell him? Is it written all over my face? God, I’m the worst person in the world. The silence between them felt dense, at least to Yuki, who felt like he was running out of air.
Geon, walking beside him with a relaxed pace and his hands in his jacket pockets, broke the ice after they crossed the first street.
"Hey, Yuki," he called softly, causing the younger boy to visibly tense up. "Is everything okay?"
"Huh? Yeah, of course, hyung. Why do you ask?" Yuki replied, trying to force a smile without looking him directly in the eye.
"It’s just that you’ve been really distracted in practice, and lately I’ve noticed you’re a bit distant with everyone," Geon sighed, stopping for a moment just before entering the café to force Yuki to stop too. "Especially with me. I feel like every time I come over to talk to you, you find an excuse to leave or you look anywhere else."
Guilt punched Yuki straight in the stomach—a blow so physical it almost made him step back. Geon was noticing it and worrying about him, proving what a good hyung he was, while Yuki could only think about how good Geon’s boyfriend's hand had felt against his own body.
Seeing that the younger boy remained quiet with his gaze cast downward, Geon assumed it was about something else. He let out a soft chuckle and gave him an affectionate nudge with his elbow, trying to lighten the mood with a joke.
"What’s wrong? Do you not love your hyung anymore? Do you dislike me now?"
Yuki snapped his head up, his eyes wide with shock and panic that Geon might actually think that. His innocent mind, overwhelmed by guilt, reacted purely on instinct, wanting to erase any idea of rejection.
"No! It’s not that, hyung, of course I love you," Yuki blurted out with utter sincerity and desperation, looking at him with those scared puppy eyes he always made whenever he got emotional.
Geon stared at him for a second, taken aback by the intensity of the response, and then let out a clear, ringing laugh, touched by the younger boy's innocence. He reached out and ruffled his hair roughly, messing up his hairstyle.
"I know, I was just kidding," Geon said through his laughter, wrapping an arm around his neck to finally pull him into the café. "You’re way too cute, Yuki. If anything bad ever happens, or if you feel overwhelmed by work, you have to tell me, okay? Your hyung will make sure to make you feel better, no matter what," Geon added as they waited at the counter, giving him a gentle pat on the back.
Yuki nodded innocently, feeling a knot form in his throat at such warmth. The rest of the day passed under that same tone of forced normalcy. Yuki tried his absolute best to focus on the choreographer's corrections, using physical exhaustion as a shield to drown out the voices in his head.
When practice ended, the atmosphere in the studio turned noisy and chaotic. The members packed up their things in a rush, anxious to get back to the dorm to shower and rest. Yuki finished shoving his water bottle into his backpack and hurried to follow Geon, who was already walking toward the exit, chatting with the others.
However, before he could cross the threshold, a firm hand clamped around his wrist.
The grip was swift and precise. Yu yanked him backward, back toward the far end of the studio, while using his other hand to push the heavy, soundproof door shut. The click of the lock echoed in Yuki’s ears like a gunshot. The murmurs from the hallway died out completely, leaving them locked in a deathly silence.
"H-Hyung?" Yuki’s heart took a violent leap. Nervousness made him take a step back, but he ended up bumping directly against the mirrored wall.
Yu said nothing. There was no rush in his movements, but there was an absolute determination. He closed the distance between them, cornering Yuki with his body, and before the younger boy could even process the panic, Yu tilted his head and captured his lips.
The kiss was direct, warm, and demanding. Yuki’s blood pressure dropped in an instant. Guilt hit him so hard he felt sick to his stomach. Geon had just walked out that very door. Barely a few minutes ago, Geon had promised to take care of him, and now Yuki was locked in the darkness of the same room, letting himself be kissed by his boyfriend. Why was Yu doing this? Why was he risking so much? Why was he dragging him into this pit of betrayal?
Feeling tears threatening to spill, Yuki gathered what little mental strength he had left. Before Yu could open his lips and deepen the kiss with his tongue, Yuki sharply turned his face to the side.
The rejection only caused Yu’s lips to veer off course, landing directly on the sensitive skin of his jawline. Yu moved down slowly, leaving wet, lingering kisses along his neck, searching for the exact spot where he had left a mark before.
Yuki closed his eyes, feeling terribly dizzy. A scorching heat began to spread through his core, and his body—traitorous as always—wanted to weaken and give in to the touch. But this time, his mind won. He had to stop this before it was too late.
"Hyung... stop," Yuki pleaded, resting both hands on Yu’s chest to push him away, keeping his voice as steady as possible through his trembling.
Yu stopped, though he didn't pull away. He left his lips brushing the skin of his neck for a second before raising his head to look down at him, those dark eyes fixed and waiting.
"Why are you doing this, hyung?" Yuki asked in a broken whisper, his eyes blurred with frustration and his hands still resting shakingly against Yu’s chest. "Geon-hyung just left... He trusts us. Why?"
Yu stared at him in the dim light of the practice room. He didn't seem upset by the boundary Yuki had just set; on the contrary, his expression softened with that feline patience that confused the younger boy so much. He leaned in a bit closer, reducing the space between their faces until Yuki could feel the warmth of his breath.
"If you truly don't like me doing this, Yuki... tell me right now, and I promise I'll stop. I won't touch you again," Yu replied, his voice deep and strangely serene.
Yuki opened his mouth to let out the "I don't like it" he was supposed to say. It was the right answer, the one that would save his hyungs' relationship and clear his conscience. But the words caught in his throat. He looked at Yu’s lips, remembered the intensity of the kiss from just a moment ago and the fire he still felt coursing through his veins, and realized he couldn't do it. Saying he didn't like it would be an absolute lie.
Yu read the conflict in his heavy-lidded eyes and his deathly silence. A slow, sly smile, heavy with a dangerous self-satisfaction, playing on his lips. He knew he had the younger boy exactly where he wanted him.
"I knew it," Yu murmured, tracing his thumb over Yuki’s flushed cheek.
"But I feel terrible, hyung," Yuki insisted, feeling a rogue tear slip down his face. "I'm dying of guilt every time I see Geon-hyung. Today at the café, he told me he noticed I was distant and... I can't take it. I feel like I'm destroying everything."
Yu wiped away his smile, replacing it with an analytical seriousness. His hand dropped from his cheek to frame his neck, applying a subtle yet possessive pressure.
"Then, this will have to be our secret, Yuki," Yu declared, his tone firm and leaving no room for argument. "If the guilt gives you away, you're going to ruin things. From now on, you have to act like you always do. Normally. With me, with Geon, and with the rest of the members. If you keep ignoring us or acting weird, everyone is going to start suspecting and asking questions. And you don't want that, do you?"
A sharp chill shot down Yuki’s spine, dissipating the heat of the moment. Those words ignited a completely new fear in his chest. What would happen if the members found out? What would they think of him if they discovered he was meddling in the relationship of the group's couple? They would see him as a traitor, an outsider, someone who couldn't be trusted. And Geon? The mere thought of seeing disappointment and pain on Geon’s face made Yuki’s stomach wrench with pure anguish.
Trapped in a dead end, where the only way to protect himself—and protect Geon from the truth—was to lie, Yuki swallowed hard and gave a tight nod.
"O-Okay..." he articulated, his voice choked. "I'll act normal. I promise."
"Good boy." Yu smiled again, pleased, and leaned in to press one last chaste, comforting kiss to his forehead before breaking their personal space and walking toward the door to slide the lock. "Now, fix that face. We're going back to the dorm, and I want you to stop overthinking so much, alright? Remember we have a group dinner tonight, and we have to celebrate that the rehearsal went well."
Yu opened the door, letting the light from the hallway flood the room. He stepped out first with a relaxed gait, leaving Yuki alone for a few seconds to try and catch his breath and digest the weight of the massive, dark secret he had just agreed to carry on his shoulders.
The ride back in the company van was an exercise in self-control for Yuki. Sitting in the back row while the managers drove in silence up front, Yuki kept his eyes glued to the window glass, watching the city lights blur together due to their speed.
Despite his efforts to look outside, in the reflection of the glass, he could see what was happening in the seats ahead. Yu and Geon were sitting together. They weren't doing anything over-the-top, remaining discreet out of respect for the staff riding with them, but their hands were intertwined on the seat, their fingers firmly locked. Every now and then, Geon would rest his head on Yu’s shoulder for a second, and Yu would respond with a subtle squeeze of his hand.
Seeing them like that caused Yuki’s chest to tighten with a bitter, confusing feeling. The two of them were a real couple. They had a bond, a history, a love that was relatively public yet respected. He, on the other hand, was just that clandestine "something else"—a secret born in the dim light of the living room and locked away in a practice room. He felt small, out of place, and a pang of sadness clouded his mind.
“Don't overthink it. Yu told you not to overthink it,” he repeated to himself, forcing his eyes away from the reflection. He took a deep breath and decided to focus all his mental energy on mundane things. He thought about dinner, the menu they had ordered, and how much he was going to eat to fill that strange void he felt in his stomach. He had to keep his promise to act normal.
When they finally arrived at the dorm, the noisy, chaotic atmosphere of the group helped pull him out of his shell.
"You're finally here! I'm starving!" Tomoya called out from the kitchen, moving quickly from side to side as he arranged the food containers along the main table.
Around him, the atmosphere was already festive. Haru, Seita, and Hyui had taken care of bringing out the drinks and had already poured the first cups, laughing loudly at an inside joke as they sat on the floor around the low table. Geon and Yu weren't slow to join the group, taking off their jackets and sitting next to each other, ready to blend into the night's toast.
"Yuki, come sit down! We poured you a glass!" Seita called out to him, holding up a bottle with a bright smile.
Yuki approached the table, catching the delicious aroma of the hot food, and waved his hands in the air with a shy smile.
"No, hyung, I'll pass. I don't want to drink today, I'd rather just eat a lot," he answered with total honesty, settling down at an open end of the table—a bit away from the couple but close enough to be part of the conversation.
"More for us, then," Haru joked, clinking his glass against Hyui’s.
From then on, everything unfolded with a wonderful, comforting normalcy. The food was delicious, and just as he had planned, Yuki focused on devouring his plate while listening to his hyungs' rowdiness. Tomoya began imitating one of the members' botched dance steps from practice, triggering general outbursts of laughter that almost made Yuki snort his drink out his nose.
Watching Seita and Hyui fight over the last piece of meat, and listening to Haru’s sarcastic comments, created a bubble of such genuine warmth that Yuki, bit by bit, felt the heavy tension in his shoulders begin to dissipate. For the first time in days, he found himself laughing out loud, relaxing completely in the midst of his group's noise and affection, forgetting for a few hours the secret he carried in his chest.
As the hours passed, empty bottles began to pile up in a corner of the table. It didn't take long for the alcohol to take effect on his hyungs, transforming their initial controlled laughter into a loud, messy rowdiness. Haru and Seita were already slurring their words as they argued absurdly over who was the better gamer, while Hyui and Tomoya half-heartedly sang along to a song playing on the television.
The entire group moved to the living room out of pure comfort. Some threw themselves onto the large sofa, while others, like Yuki, preferred to sit directly on the rug, leaning their backs against the base of the furniture. Yuki, completely sober, watched the scene with a soft smile, enjoying the warm atmosphere and the spectacle of seeing his hyungs so relaxed and out of their perfect idol roles.
The problem started when Geon sat down right next to him on the floor.
Geon was the type to get extremely clingy and affectionate when he drank too much, completely losing his shield of shyness. His face was flushed with a soft blush, and his eyes glinted with a heavy fatigue. Without warning, Geon tilted his body and let his head drop heavily onto Yuki’s shoulder, letting out a sigh of satisfaction as he loosely wrapped his hands around one of the younger boy's arms.
Yuki’s body went rigid instantly, as if he’d been hit by an electric shock. Feeling Geon’s weight, his warm, alcohol-scented breath brushing his neck, and that completely careless, innocent closeness filled him with a cold panic. The guilt, which he had managed to numb during dinner, rushed back with the force of a whiplash.
Out of pure moral survival instinct, Yuki shifted his shoulder slightly, intending to make up any excuse to get up and go to the bathroom, breaking the contact that made him feel like the worst traitor in the world.
However, before he could move, Yuki looked up, and his eyes crashed directly into Yu’s.
Yu was sitting on the large couch, right above them. He held a glass in his hand, and despite having been drinking at the same pace as everyone else, he seemed to be the only one completely lucid. His dark, piercing eyes were fixed on Yuki, gleaming with an unreadable intensity under the dim living room light.
In that second of visual connection, Yu’s words from the practice room echoed loudly in Yuki’s head: “You have to act like you always do. Normally. With me, with Geon, and with the rest... otherwise they'll suspect.”
Yuki swallowed hard, feeling his heart beating in his throat. If he pushed Geon away abruptly or acted overly uncomfortable, Haru, Seita, or Geon himself might notice that something was off. He had to keep his promise. He had to be strong and pretend everything was exactly the same as before.
Forcing himself to take a deep breath, Yuki relaxed his back muscles. He stopped resisting and allowed his shoulder to serve as a headrest for Geon again, who let out an incomprehensible murmur, settling down better against him. Yuki raised a hand and, with a feigned normalcy that cost him everything, gently patted Geon’s arm, just as he had done so many times before whenever his hyung got affectionate.
"You're really heavy, Geon-hyung," Yuki murmured with a soft chuckle that sounded perfectly natural to the rest of the group, though inside he felt like he was burning alive.
From the couch, Yu watched as the younger boy yielded and maintained his composure. A subtle, imperceptible smile of satisfaction curved the corner of his lips before he took a sip from his glass.
The wall clock already marked a late hour of the early morning when Yu set his empty glass down on the coffee table. He looked down to where Geon remained completely sprawled against Yuki, having slid from his shoulder to end up almost entirely in his lap, hugging him around the waist while murmuring incoherent nonsense about the taste of the food and how much he loved his members.
"Alright, I think it's time to take this drunkard to bed," Yu announced, standing up with fluid movements. "He’s way too wasted, and tomorrow is going to catch up with us."
"Yeah, please," Tomoya seconded, running a hand over his face with exhaustion. "We should start cleaning this up already so we can all go to bed."
"Aw, no, just a little longer!" Hyui complained, his voice slurred, clinging to his glass while Seita laughed at him from the couch.
Yuki didn't pay any real attention to the complaints or the rowdiness of the others. All his energy was focused on getting out of the situation unscathed. Carefully, he tried to shift Geon’s weight to stand up, but his own legs were numb from spending so much time in the same position on the floor. As he attempted to rise with his hyung’s sleeping body on top of him, his balance failed completely, and he was about to go straight down onto the rug.
"Careful," Yu’s deep voice sounded right beside him.
Before Yuki hit the floor, a firm, warm hand caught him by the arm, stabilizing him with baffling ease. Yuki looked up, meeting Yu’s dark eyes just inches away. The friction of his fingers sent an electric current through his body, but he didn't have time to process it because Geon, feeling the movement, let out a silly little giggle and hung himself around Yuki’s neck, using him like a lamppost to keep from falling over himself.
Between the two of them, they managed to straighten things out. Yu draped Geon’s arm around his own shoulders, carrying most of the weight, while Geon kept his other hand firmly gripped to Yuki’s hoodie, refusing to let the younger boy go.
"Come on, walk, sleepyhead," Yu told his boyfriend in a mock-stern yet gentle tone.
The three of them stumbled down the dorm hallway, leaving behind the noise of the living room, which was beginning to quiet down. As they entered the bedroom they shared, the atmosphere shifted completely, becoming intimate and heavy. The only illumination was the residual light spilling through the window from the streetlamps outside.
Yu guided Geon toward the double bed at the far end and carefully laid him down on the mattress. The moment his back hit the sheets, Geon let out a lazy groan, but instead of settling in to sleep, he rolled onto his side, reaching a hand out toward Yuki, who had gone rigid beside his own single bed, watching the scene with his heart in his throat.
"Yuuuuki..." Geon drawled, his eyes half-closed and a deeply whiny, teasing smile etched onto his face. "Come here... hug me and kiss my cheek goodnight, don't be mean."
The younger boy froze in his tracks, feeling his face burn in the dim light. Geon was being playful and clingy, but in that completely innocent, childlike way that came out whenever alcohol erased his filters. There was no malice in his words, just the overflowing affection of a drunk hyung. Yet for Yuki, with Yu standing right beside the bed watching everything, the request felt like walking through a minefield.
Yuki looked at Geon, caught in a paralysis of pure nerves, without the slightest clue of how to react or what to do to keep his promise to act normal without dying of guilt in the process.
Yu’s fixed gaze on him and Geon’s outstretched arms had him cornered. With his hands trembling inside the sleeves of his hoodie, he took a timid step toward the double bed.
"I’m... I’m just going to hug you, hyung," Yuki murmured, his voice barely louder than a whisper, trying to sound firm. "You and Yu-hyung. For goodnight."
The moment the words left his mouth, Geon let out a silly, muffled chuckle against the pillow, covering his eyes with his forearm. Yuki blinked, completely confused. He didn't understand what was so funny about his innocent comment; he was just trying to be a good dongsaeng and politely maintain his distance. He shifted his gaze toward Yu, searching for an answer, but his older hyung only kept that knowing, mysterious little smile on his lips, looking at him with an amusement floating in his dark eyes that only managed to make Yuki more nervous.
Before Yuki could demand an explanation, the sound of the door opening slightly cut through the tension in the room. Tomoya poked his head through the crack, his hair messy and a couple of trash bags in his hand.
"Yu, I need you to help me carry the empty boxes downstairs before the managers leave," Tomoya requested in a tired but firm tone. You couldn't say no to the leader, especially when he was cleaning up everyone else's mess.
"On my way," Yu replied immediately, regaining his serious posture.
He walked toward the exit with a relaxed stride, but just as he passed beside Yuki, he paused for a fraction of a second. He subtly brushed his shoulder against the younger boy's in a touch that almost felt like a hidden caress, and shot him one last look heavy with silent meaning before closing the door behind him, plunging the room into near-total darkness.
Yuki was left standing in the middle of the room, listening to Yu’s footsteps fade down the hallway. Silence returned, broken only by Geon’s steady breathing.
"Yuki..." Geon called out, his voice drawn-out.
With his eyes still closed from the weight of the alcohol, Geon stretched his arms into the air again, lazily moving his fingers in his direction. He was right there—helpless, tender, patiently waiting for the hug the younger boy had promised him. There were no hidden motives on his face, just a genuine desire to receive some affection from his favorite dongsaeng before passing out from sleep.
Yuki felt a pang of indecision wrench his chest. A part of him wanted to run to his own bed, pull the covers over his head, and pretend he didn't exist. But seeing Geon like that, so vulnerable and affectionate, dissolved his shield a bit. At the end of the day, Geon wasn't to blame for anything.
With slow steps and his heart beating at a heavy rhythm, Yuki approached the edge of the double bed. He leaned carefully over the mattress and wrapped his hyung’s body in a soft embrace. The moment his arms encircled Geon’s shoulders, Geon let out a sigh of satisfaction and clung to Yuki’s hoodie, pulling him a bit deeper against his chest with an affection so pure it caused Yuki’s eyes to fill with tears from the tremendous guilt that settled right back inside him.
The embrace lingered for so long in the silence of the room that Geon’s breathing became slow, heavy, and completely rhythmic. Thinking his hyung had finally succumbed to the weight of the alcohol, Yuki began to break the contact with millimeter slowness. He untangled his arms carefully so as not to make a sound and took a step backward, relieved, ready to cross the short space to his own single bed to finally put an end to such an overwhelming night.
However, before he could take a second step, warm fingers firmly caught his hand, stopping him dead in his tracks.
Yuki spun around sharply, his heart taking a violent leap. In the dim light, he saw that Geon’s eyes were half-closed, fixed on his silhouette with a gaze completely clouded by exhaustion.
"Where are you going?" Geon murmured, his voice thick and drawled. "Time to sleep... hold me."
Yuki froze, completely taken aback. In his drunken state, Geon wasn't calling him by his name; the way he held him and asked him to stay made it clear that, in his clouded mind, he thought he was holding onto Yu. The younger boy was left not knowing how to react, caught in a whirlwind of thoughts. What was he supposed to do? Should he pull away and clarify that he was Yuki? Would Yu care if he stayed there? What would his older hyung think if he came back from helping Tomoya and found him in that bed?
Before he could resolve the dilemma or articulate a single word, Geon pulled his hand sharply toward the mattress.
Due to the surprise and his lack of balance, Yuki yielded and fell sideways onto the sheets. Immediately, Geon draped a heavy arm over his waist, pulling him flush against his body and trapping him in a possessive yet deeply tender embrace. Geon buried his face in the younger boy's shoulder, letting out a sigh of utter comfort.
"My baby..." Geon whispered mid-dream, snuggling closer against him and letting out a silly little chuckle against the fabric of his hoodie.
Hearing that deeply intimate pet name sent an indescribable wave of heat coursing through Yuki’s chest. Geon’s embrace was so genuine, so protective and filled with a pure affection that, for a second, Yuki felt incredibly safe, wrapped in a warmth that threatened to melt away all his defenses.
But the reality check wasn't slow to arrive, and with it, a crushing guilt. Yuki went completely rigid in his hyung’s arms, his eyes wide open in the darkness. It shouldn't feel this good. He had no right to enjoy this warmth, because he knew perfectly well that this treatment wasn't meant for him. Geon had no idea he was holding his dongsaeng; in his head, he was cradling the person he loved. Being there, usurping Yu’s place and receiving an affection that wasn't his to take, made him feel like the worst traitor in the world, trapped in an embrace as beautiful as it was forbidden.
In the midst of that dim light, Geon shifted subtly, running his free hand up Yuki’s side until cradling his cheek with overwhelming delicacy. Without opening his eyes, he began to scatter sweet, lingering kisses along the younger boy's jawline, moving up toward his cheekbones while letting out sighs heavy with affection.
"You're so warm..." Geon murmured against his skin, his voice drawled and soft. "You're so comfortable, really... Stay just like this."
Upon hearing those words and feeling Geon’s lips on his face, Yuki’s body reacted immediately. An electric current, similar to the one Yu had awakened in the practice room, ignited his core. Noticing that physical response, Yuki was horrified by himself. He went completely rigid, feeling a sudden dizziness and a sharp ache in his stomach—a mixture of pure anxiety and nausea born of guilt. How could his body be such a traitor? How could he react to both boyfriends on the very same day?
However, despite the panic consuming him from the inside, the experience of being there was drastically different. Yu’s touches were pure fire—dominant, dirty, and demanding; but Geon’s caresses were a balm of tenderness, a refuge filled with sweet words that melted away any resistance. It was such a drastic contrast that it broke Yuki’s heart. He couldn't keep allowing this deception.
"H-Hyung... wait," Yuki managed to articulate, resting a trembling hand on Geon’s chest to push him away slightly. "I'm not... I'm not Yu-hyung, I'm Yuki..."
"Shh..." Geon interrupted him with a low chuckle, completely lost in the haze of alcohol.
Geon didn't let him finish the sentence. He blindly sought out Yuki’s face and unexpectedly captured his lips.
Yuki snapped his eyes open in the darkness, his heart taking a violent leap. But it wasn't a demanding kiss like Yu’s; Geon simply began to give him sweet, short, soft pecks, barely brushing their lips together over and over with infinite tenderness, before veering off to leave more of those innocent touches on the tip of his nose and his cheeks.
The entire situation was incredibly strange, chaotic, and morally wrong. Yuki knew it was bad, that Geon was making a mistake, and that he was trapped in the middle of a dangerous game. But as he felt the softness of Geon’s lips and the protective warmth of his embrace, a hidden, selfish part of his chest couldn't help but think that, despite all the fear, it felt incredibly good.
Losing some of that initial innocence, Geon parted his lips and deepened the contact, capturing Yuki’s mouth in a much longer, warmer, and more enveloping kiss. It lacked the aggressive, demanding intensity Yu had used hours earlier; Geon’s kiss remained incredibly soft, yet it now carried a weight of genuine desire that left Yuki completely breathless.
Between Yuki’s lips, Geon let out a couple of sweet, muffled sounds—small whimpers of satisfaction that vibrated right against the younger boy's chest.
Those sounds completely unraveled Yuki. The self-control he had tried so hard to maintain throughout the day crumbled in a single second. Feeling Geon’s tongue brush against his own in such an intimate way, combined with the warmth of his hands caressing his back over his hoodie, was driving him crazy. His body relaxed completely onto the mattress, letting itself be carried away by the tidal wave of sensations, allowing himself for one brief instant to forget names, rules, and guilt.
“This is wrong, this is fucking wrong,” an alarm blared in the back of his mind, but Geon’s sweetness was a magnet he couldn't pull himself away from.
Yuki gathered what little strength he had left and broke the kiss slowly, panting, his lips burning and his face completely flushed. He opened his mouth to try, one last time, to clarify that he wasn't Yu, but before he could make a single sound, Geon knit his brows slightly with his eyes closed and whined.
"Mmh... don't pull away," Geon murmured, his voice slurred by the alcohol, anchoring his hands at Yuki’s waist to pull him closer against his body. Then, he formed an adorable, pouty scowl with his lips. "I want to do it so badly tonight... but we can't be loud. What a drag."
Yuki went completely rigid, his eyes wide open in the darkness, feeling his heart hammer right out of his chest. A mixture of absolute shock and a paralyzing embarrassment washed over him from head to toe.
What exactly did his hyung mean? Do it. Yuki was innocent, but he wasn't stupid; he knew perfectly well what that word meant in a couple's vocabulary. Hearing Geon admit so naturally, and with such drunken shyness, that he wanted to have sex in that very room—without having the slightest clue that the person he was confessing this to was the exact dongsaeng he wanted to hide from—left Yuki utterly speechless, his breath completely caught in his throat.
"Do you want to do it anyway?" Geon whispered against his ear, his voice slurred from the alcohol but carrying a playful confidence. "If we're quiet... no one will ever know."
Before Yuki could even process the impact of the proposal, he felt Geon’s hand slide with total familiarity over his hip, moving with determination toward the waistband of his pajama pants.
That was the trigger. Absolute panic seized Yuki, breaking the spell of Geon’s sweetness in a split second.
"N-No!" Yuki blurted out in a choked shriek.
With his heart hammering against his ribs at a thousand miles an hour, Yuki used all his strength to break free from the grip. He scrambled desperately on the mattress and managed to throw himself out of the bed in one swift motion, landing on his feet in the middle of the room. He was trembling from head to toe, completely flushed, suffocated, and consumed by a shame so massive he felt his face burning.
From the bed, Geon let out a low, teasing chuckle, settling onto his side against the pillow.
But Yuki couldn't take it anymore. The situation had completely overwhelmed him. He felt an suffocating knot in his throat, and his eyes filled with hot tears—not just from fear, but from a deep frustration and a strange, confusing feeling that terrified him to his core: despite the moral horror, he had liked it. He had loved Geon’s sweet kisses, the way he had called him "his baby," and the warmth of his hands. His own body was betraying him yet again, desiring things that didn't belong to him.
Without looking back, Yuki stumbled the two steps toward his own single bed. He threw himself onto the mattress and yanked the covers up in desperation, burying himself up to his head, curling into a fetal position to hide his silent crying and the trembling of his body. He wanted to vanish from the face of the earth.
Right at that exact instant, the soft click of the door echoed through the room.
Yuki went completely rigid beneath the sheets, holding his breath. Through the thin fabric of the blanket, he heard the slow, confident footsteps he already knew all too well. Yu had returned from helping Tomoya.
A few seconds later, the scuff of soft footsteps stopped right beside the double bed.
"Mmh... you're back," Geon’s voice drifted over, a thick, sleepy murmur that was barely intelligible.
Geon let out a low, teasing chuckle—the very same one he had used to send Yuki away just a moment ago. Yuki strained his ears, his stomach twisted into a tight knot, listening to the rustle of the sheets as Yu presumably sat down on the edge of the mattress. Subtle murmurs between them followed; Yu’s deep voice responding in an extremely low tone, almost like a secret shared in the air, and Geon’s whiny reply, from which Yuki couldn't catch a single clear word.
The mattress creaked slightly under a heavier weight. Yuki clenched his fists beneath the blanket as he heard a long, utterly satisfied sigh from Geon, followed by the sound of two bodies settling in together, seeking the exact same warmth he had left vacant just a few minutes prior.
After that, absolute silence reigned over the room once more. A dense, heavy silence, broken only by the distant hum of the street and the breaths that, bit by bit, became rhythmic at the far end of the room.
Yuki remained there, curled up beneath the sheets, feeling incredibly small. The ache in his stomach had eased, but in its place lay an absolute mental exhaustion. It had been far too many emotions packed into a single day: Yu’s sinful intensity in the practice room, the crushing guilt in the face of Geon’s kindness, and then that idyllic, dangerous confusion of being caught in the older boy's arms, receiving caresses that weren't his to keep.
His head kept hammering painfully, replaying over and over the sweet kisses, the dirty words, the laughter, and the knowing glances of the two boyfriends who were now sleeping just a few steps away from him. Exhausted from fighting his own thoughts and the guilt that refused to let him go, Yuki shut his eyes tight and clung to his pillow, forcing himself to seek sleep in the dead of the night, praying that the next day would bring a little of the clarity he so desperately lacked.
The days following that night blurred into an emotional labyrinth from which Yuki could find no escape. Everything around him seemed to move in a confusing, overwhelming march.
On one hand, Geon remained exactly the same as always: affectionate, attentive, and sweet, treating him with that warmth that now made Yuki’s stomach wrench with guilt every time he was near. On the other hand, Yu showed no mercy. He kept his word to act normally in front of the others, but the moment he found the slightest second alone, he would corner him again in the company hallways, behind the dressing rooms, or in the dorm kitchen, sending his heart racing with heavy glares and clandestine touches that Yuki lacked the strength to reject.
He felt trapped in the eye of a storm, the target of one’s innocent love and the other’s dark desire. So many thoughts swirled through his head—so many that the mental exhaustion began to take a toll on his body. Even though Yuki tried with all his might to keep his promise to act normal, the facade was cracking. His other hyungs began to notice the changes. Tomoya would look at him out of the corner of his eye whenever he fell silent in the dining room, and Haru and Seita had half-jokingly commented that Yuki looked like a ghost walking down the hallways. He would only give a lopsided smile, making up the excuse that the heavy schedule had him a bit run down.
The collapse of that fragile normalcy came on the day the entire group went out to film a special outdoor content package.
The set was a spacious park, and while the staff set up the cameras and lights for the next shooting block, the members scattered to rest. Yuki wandered a bit away from the bustle, sitting on a wooden bench beneath the shade of a large tree, sighing heavily as he toyed with the zipper of his jacket. His mind was lost, replaying for the thousandth time the warmth of Geon’s kisses and the pressure of Yu’s hands.
"You're going to burn a hole in the ground if you keep staring at it like that, Yuki."
Yuki jumped on the bench and snapped his head up. Geon was standing in front of him, holding two bottles of cold water. He handed him one with a soft smile before sitting down beside him, closing the distance between them.
The younger boy felt the air catch in his throat. He tried to force his best idol smile, but Geon didn't buy it. He turned completely on the bench, resting an arm on the backrest to look at him dead-on, his eyes filled with a concern so genuine it made Yuki’s chest ache.
"Alright, stop looking at me like that and tell me the truth," Geon requested softly, dropping the jokes from the previous days. "What's wrong, Yuki? You've been stuck in your own world for days. What is it that has you like this? You know you can tell me."
"It's nothing, really, Geon-hyung," Yuki replied immediately, averting his gaze toward the staff who were still moving cables on the set. "I just... didn't sleep very well last night. Plus, it's a bit hot today, I think that's why I don't have much of an appetite. What time did they say we start shooting again?"
He tried to get up from the bench to break the tension and change the subject, but Geon was faster. He gripped him firmly by the forearm, preventing his escape, and with his other hand, he gently took his chin, forcing him to turn his face to look him directly in the eye.
"Yuki, look at me," Geon requested, his tone serious but heavy with a protective sweetness. "Stop making excuses. I know you. I know when you're tired and when something else is going on. Tell me what's wrong."
Being forced to hold his gaze left Yuki breathless. His eyes unconsciously dropped from Geon’s worried glare down to his lips, and the memory of that night in the dorm hit him like a whiplash. He remembered the texture of his mouth, the sweet pecks he had given him all over his face, and the incredibly warm way he had held him while calling him "his baby." Yuki’s stomach wrenched painfully. He felt miserable because at that exact second, standing there under the sun, he desperately wanted Geon to kiss him like that again.
But immediately after, Yu’s image flashed through his mind. He remembered Yu’s dark eyes cornering him in the practice room, reminding him that they had to keep the secret so as not to ruin their relationship. The guilt suffocated him. He was desiring his hyung’s boyfriend—the very same hyung who touched him in secret. He was destroying the relationship of the two people he loved most.
"Hyung, please, just let it go..." Yuki pleaded in a cracked voice, trying to pull away, but Geon didn't budge.
"I’m not letting it go. I'm your hyung, Yuki, I’m supposed to be here to take care of you," Geon insisted, drawing a bit closer, making sure to get an answer. "Is it about the group? Did someone do something to you? Is it because of me? Did I do something to upset you? Tell me anything, but talk to me."
Geon’s relentless insistence, added to the days of silence, fear, and sleepless nights, finally broke Yuki’s last dam of restraint. The pressure in his chest erupted in a mixture of frustration, suppressed tears, and an absolute mental breakdown.
"You just don't understand, hyung!" Yuki snapped in a choked outburst, his eyes filling with tears instantly. "I can't take it anymore! I'm losing my mind and everything is wrong!"
Geon didn't move. He didn't tense up, nor did he pull back. He remained seated just inches away, watching the younger boy's emotional wreck with patience, almost expectantly. That lack of reaction, that peaceful way of watching him suffer, was what pushed Yuki over the edge. He needed to confess to shatter that deathly silence.
"I feel like the worst person in the world!" Yuki confessed with pure frustration, the words tumbling out of his mouth as tears began to stream down his cheeks. "Every time I see you, every time I see Yu-hyung... I... Yu-hyung kissed me!" he finally blurted out, breaking the promise of the secret. "And I couldn't tell him no because... because a part of me wanted to. I'm a traitor!"
Yuki searched Geon’s face for any sign of pain, an outburst of anger, something to justify the weight of his betrayal. But he found nothing. Geon was still there, his back relaxed against the seat, staring at him like someone listening to a story they already knew by heart. He had wanted Yuki to say it. He had wanted to hear it from his own mouth.
"And it's not just that..." Yuki continued, his voice broken by sobs and his chest rising and falling heavily. "The night of the dinner... when you were drunk... you took me to your bed. You thought I was Yu-hyung... you called me your baby... and you kissed me, hyung. You kissed me so sweetly and told me things... and I liked it so much that I wanted to stay there, knowing you were thinking of him and not me."
As the last truth left his lips, Yuki locked his eyes onto Geon once more, but the older boy's absolute calmness became unbearable. Seeing him so completely in control of the situation, realizing there was not a single shred of confusion in those eyes scanning him mercilessly, caused a terror he couldn't process. It was too much. He couldn't bear to hold his gaze for even a second longer under that silent scrutiny.
The weight of the shame and the horror of his own confession crashed down upon him. Yuki covered his face with both hands in desperation, burying his head between his knees as he began to cry disconsolately, his shoulders shaking with his sobs, completely exposed before Geon’s unbothered presence.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, hyung," Yuki sobbed, his voice muffled against his hands, feeling the tears soak his palms. "I didn't want to get between your relationship... I really didn't. I was stupid... It's okay if you hate me, really. If you want to tell the others or if you don't want me in the group anymore, I'll understand. Please, forgive me..."
Yuki waited for the blow. He waited for Geon to stand up from the bench, to scream at him, to call him a traitor, or to simply walk away, leaving him alone in his misery.
Instead, the silence of the park was broken by a sound Yuki never could have predicted: a low, soft, and remarkably warm chuckle.
The younger boy froze completely beneath his own hands. The confusion hit him so hard his crying stopped dead in its tracks. Before he could process what was happening, he felt long, warm fingers weave through the strands of his hair, caressing his head with a slow, comforting tenderness—the exact same pampering Geon used to give him whenever Yuki was stressed before a debut or a major performance.
"Oh, Yuki... You shouldn't cry over that. You don't have to apologize and say those kinds of things either," he heard Geon’s voice, sounding incredibly calm, peaceful, and sweet.
Geon continued to brush his fingers through his hair, using a soft and slightly childlike tone of voice—the kind used to comfort a toddler who just scraped his knee or who was crying over something completely trivial.
"You're so adorable for acting like this, getting so worked up over nothing..." Geon continued with a gentle smile on his lips. "Yu-hyung really was very mean to you, wasn't he? Cornering you and scaring you like that... What a naughty hyung. Don't cry anymore, it's over now."
Yuki’s mind turned into absolute chaos. With his heart beating in an erratic, strange rhythm, he slowly lowered his hands and looked up, revealing his swollen eyes and tear-stained face. He stared intently at Geon.
There he was. He was the exact same Geon-hyung as always—the sweet, protective guy who loved him so much, the one who looked after him during practices and bought him snacks. His expression reflected no anger, no spite, no pain from the betrayal. He was looking at him with an affection so pure and a peace so baffling that Yuki felt a shiver run down his spine.
An incredibly strange, heavy sensation settled in his chest. He didn't understand anything. He had just confessed to kissing his boyfriend and that Geon himself had kissed him in his own bed, yet Geon was comforting him as if none of it mattered, brushing it off with a perfect smile. Why wasn't he angry? Why was he acting as if it were all just child's play? Trapped beneath Geon’s caress, Yuki was left utterly speechless, sinking into a confusion much deeper and more dangerous than before.
"A-Aren't you angry with me, hyung?" Yuki asked in a trembling voice, staring at him intently through his wet eyelashes. "Do you really not hate me?"
Geon let out another soft chuckle, never stopping the caress in his hair. His expression was one of absolute serenity.
"How could you think I could ever hate my baby?" Geon responded with total nonchalance, tilting his head tenderly. "You're way too cute for that."
Yuki opened his mouth, his mind spinning as he tried to process the weight of that word. He was about to press further, to demand a logical explanation for such an surreal calmness, but before he could articulate a single syllable, the booming voice of a staff member echoed across the park.
"Calling all group members! To your positions, please! We start shooting the next block in two minutes!"
The bubble of intimacy shattered abruptly. Geon reacted immediately, instantly adopting his professional idol persona once more. With delicate movements, he reached out and, using the pads of his thumbs, gently wiped the remaining trace of tears from Yuki’s cheeks.
"We have to get back now," Geon told him, looking at him dead-on with a gentle yet firm smile. "We'll talk about this in the dorm later, when it's quiet. But right now, you need to pull yourself together and do the shoot. Listen to your hyung, alright?"
Yuki felt dizzy, floating in a sort of limbo where reality and fiction blurred together in a confusing mess. He was so unraveled he couldn't even nod. However, before standing up, Geon leaned into him quickly and pressed a short, remarkably tender little kiss to his cheek, right near the corner of his lips.
The touch of the warm skin and the soft sound of the kiss snapped Yuki right back to reality. It wasn't a dream brought on by exhaustion, nor was it a guilt-ridden hallucination. It was real. It was happening. It dawned on him with total clarity that Geon knew everything, didn't care in the slightest, and was still claiming him as his own. With his heart beating in a completely new, overwhelming way, Yuki stood up to head back to the set, feeling as though the ground beneath his feet had completely shifted.