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It had been a long day for Bdubs. Building the next part of the tree of whimsey quest, and then helping Ren to become the king of the shopping district has taken its toll. No one appreciated just how laborious it was to orchestrate the dynamics of this server! The hermits weren’t exactly an easy crowd, and they’d been quite rowdy over the crowning of their new king.
Maybe dropping all their diamonds into a pit with a flimsy promise of earning them back was part of the reason they were being so weird, and maybe they should have anticipated that Grian would start drama. Bdubs made a note to himself to find something to entertain the avian with so he wouldn’t try to disassemble the monarchy within the first week of it being in place.
But that wasn’t important right now, not when his clock was telling him it’s dusk, and the sun was starting to set. Which meant that the tree of whimsy could wait, and the king could bug off for a little bit. He had done enough for the server today, and now he got to do his favourite thing.
Shreep.
He mildly regrets making such a tall tower for his home as he trudged up flight after flight. His mossy cape catches on a broken piece of diorite with a level of precision and skill that can only occur when you’re this exhausted. With a soft curse he tugs it free and continues his ascent. He stops first at his messy storage room, offloading the random things he’d accumulated throughout the day. He tries to remember how he’d ended up with fifteen yellow flowers, but comes up blank and moves on to stowing a random single piece of rotten flesh. He stops paying attention after that, only keeping his main inventory items on before setting to trudging up the stairs once more.
Even after the physical strain of climbing up the stairs, he was still very proud of himself; His monolith was decorated so well for how cramped it felt, Bdubs truly was a master of interiors, even though he wished sometimes for a nice single floor base to sleep in at the end of the day.
He stripped his armour off, putting it into a chest before dropping his weapons in as well. The only thing he had left was his clock, which he carefully set on his bedside table.
It was only then that he realised that he wasn’t alone.
Snoring softly, sprawled out in a bed that definitely wasn’t his, was the one and only Etho Slab.
Bdubs shouldn’t have been too shocked, in all of his exhaustion he had completely forgotten that Etho had returned to the server. He had found the man in his basement, but had honestly thought that it was a joke. How was he supposed to know that Etho seriously was planning on living under his tower?
“Oh brother! Are you serious?” He whined, quiet enough to not wake Etho. Rather than start an argument and ruin both their nights, he just clambers onto the bed, unwilling to give up on a beautiful night of sleep just because Etho decided to take up residence in his space. Bdubs settles, but not without complaining, “I’ve got a freaking king in my attic, and an exile in my basement, and now you’re taking up half of my dang bed.” Etho finally seemed to stir, grumbling as Bdubs tucks himself in.
He had been upset, he would maintain that in court, but as Etho shifted to pull him closer, a warm calloused hand settling on his waist, Bdubs felt truly content. “Hi bdubs,” he hummed, his eyes still shut as Bdubs wriggled closer.
The bed was warm, not truly big enough for two grown adult men, but they made it work. They had crammed into many a single bed when necessary. They had shared a blanket when they couldn’t even make a bed, instead huddling for warmth under the clear night sky.
This was history for them, the way they curled together like it was breathing. They’d known each other far too long to still be awkward about things as trivial as sleeping together.
“Are you seriously livin’ in my basement?” Bdubs muttered, his speech already starting to slur together, the sweet embrace of sleep calling to him even as his mind kept spinning. Etho’s fingers were running through his hair so gently, just the way he liked.
When he pulled away enough to look up at Etho, he realised that the man had taken off his mask, a comfort that he didn’t always indulge in when he slept. He only took the mask off when he was sure no one would see, Bdubs being the only exception. “For right now yeah, I’m gonna fix it up, decorate it so well that even you’ll be proud of me,” Etho whispered back, scotching back a little bit too.
They had seen each other this morning, it wasn’t like anything had changed since. But they both took a moment to just look at each other, drinking in the proximity that they had been lacking for the last few months.
And wasn’t that the kicker, Etho had been gone for months.
Bdubs had worked excessively hard to ignore the missing piece that ached in his chest, it wasn’t like this was the first time that Etho had taken a break from Hermitcraft. He chose to push away the fear that Etho might not come back this time, he was here now! Etho wouldn’t leave Hermitcraft so soon (wouldn’t leave him so soon).
“I’m not gonna leave again, ‘dubs,” he said softly, leaving Bdubs to wish that the man didn’t know him so damn well.
It was exactly what he needed to hear, but that didn’t make it feel any better. He hadn’t intended to be so dependent on Etho’s presence, but somewhere in between the mindcrack server, and the NHO, the oddness of season seven and now, he had grown to yearn for the man. It had started as a dull burn, a magnetism that always pointed Bdubs back to Etho. Now it was something he’d learned to live with, especially when Etho had decided to delay coming back to season nine.
Bdubs couldn’t just shut down and wait for Etho to come back like some old fashioned wife waiting for her husband to return from war. But he had considered it. “Not like I would care, you can do whatever you’d like,” Bdubs muttered, but the way Etho laughed meant that he knew that it was a lie.
Etho didn’t call him out on it though, knowing that it wasn’t worth it to have this conversation again. They always missed each other, honestly sometimes they missed each other even when they were together. To point out the gaping wound that practically lived in their chests would be a recipe for disaster. That was much too messy for a warm summer night in Bdubs’ tower, far too heavy for the way Etho’s bare face was revealed to him. It was the kind of conversation that changed things, and god knows they couldn’t handle that.
“I’ll be out of your hair soon, don’t worry.” Was the only response that he gave Bdubs, continuing to humour him with their little charade.
It was quiet after that, as they breathed in the same air once more. Before he could really stop himself, he reached out, his fingertips tracing over the gnarled scar that covered the side of Etho’s face. Bdubs had long since memorised the pattern of the silvery skin, the feeling against his own skin. He felt nearly drunk on the proximity, Etho was so close, so present beside him. It wasn’t a dream, when he opened his eyes again Etho would still be there.
Sometimes he wished that they had a more normal relationship, like the devotional way that Grian and Scar loved each other, or the unconditional nature of Keralis and Xisuma’s relationship. But it would be wrong for them to force themselves into something so artificial, so performative. It wasn’t like they didn’t have those traits, they had been devoted to each other longer than Grian and Scar had even known each other, they had loved each other through more ups and downs than anyone could count. A label would be suffocating, far too official and limiting. Wedding rings, like the ones Xisuma and Keralis wore on a string around their necks, would feel like a chain.
Etho and Bdubs were just that, Etho and Bdubs. Forever encapsulated together, but never officially anything of consequence. Except there was consequence, wasn't there? In the way that Bdubs couldn’t get a real deep breath in without Etho there beside him, or the way Etho’s mask was only truly off around him. They were a pair, a pair of idiots sometimes, but ultimately a paired set, one that couldn’t handle being separated for long. “I- I don’t… mind you hanging around,” Bdubs admitted after far too much time, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled in like a blanket.
Was Etho even awake still? Did this whole thing not mean as much to Etho as it did to him? He was always too honest after the sun went down, when his bravado slipped away and the monsters came out. Except this time, a sword or axe wouldn’t help, the monster was just the ticking time bomb that lived in the inches between his chest and Etho’s.
The distance didn’t last much longer, as Etho pulled him closer and closer, until they were practically pressed together. He could feel Etho’s heartbeat against his chest, beating steadily until the pattern matched with his own.
“I’m glad, I didn’t want to make you unhappy,” Etho said, finally ending Bdubs’s mental spiral. He pressed a kiss to the top of Bdubs’s head, breathing in the earthy smell that always clung to the man. It smelled like home to him, like a soft place to land and a warm bed to curl into.
For another long while, they just laid there, letting their hearts beat as one, forgetting where their own bodies stopped and the other’s began. Time felt like it wasn’t real, as though Bdubs might open his eyes and find himself back in Etho’s unfinished house from season seven, or some scrapped together shelter in survival of the fittest, or under the stars in his half-built arena on mindcrack. In some ways, it felt like nothing had changed.
“I’ll make you coffee in the morning,” Bdubs mumbled, rubbing his face against Etho’s collarbone as he tried to stay awake. He could feel Etho’s chuckle, the sound reverberating in his chest.
Once again, he didn’t call Bdubs out on this. Choosing not to mention that Bdubs didn’t even like coffee, he only kept it in his kitchen for Etho. He wasn’t cruel, and goodness he was tired too. In the morning they could poke fun at each other, when the sun was up and Etho put his mask back on. Right now they were allowed to just be, no one else needed to see.
“You’ll be here when I wake up? You won’t leave?” The question made Etho’s chest hurt. He wondered if Bdubs could feel the way his heartbeat stuttered, the moment their synchronism stumbled.
How many times had he said yes, but left a note when he couldn’t follow through? Or said he would call and then hadn’t. It wasn’t unique to Etho, Bdubs had been the one to leave before, and it would happen again. They had done this far too many times to put weight into waking up beside one another, but it felt different this time.
Ten years was a long time to run around each other.
“I love you Bdubs,” he whispered, unsure of whether he should or not. If this was too far for this odd evening together.
Bdubs pulled away slightly, sighing as he squinted at Etho, the moonlight illuminating just enough for him to see the fear in Etho’s eyes. “I love you too… so stay.” He was tired, but seeing Etho smile made the late night feel worth it. He leaned in slowly, first pressing a kiss to the worn skin beside Etho’s lip, and then to his lips directly.
It didn’t go far, it didn’t need to go far. They were both exhausted, and far too emotional for a midnight conversation. They could talk in the morning, over coffee and toast, before they parted ways and pretended that the entire foundation of their relationship had shifted a little.
In his mind, Etho swore that when he woke up in the morning, he’d kiss Bdubs this time, rather than running away, and everything would be okay again.