Chapter Text
Kim Soleum sighed as he trudged back, back hunched with fatigue from all the things he'd been put through today. Dealing with a constant onslaught of reports from various departments regarding the loss of a high grade darkness, checking in on the status of the Fox Counselling centre, avoiding Kwak Jekang who was still obsessed with the apparent ghostly makeup of his body. Oh, did he mention he was a director at Daydream now?
According to Soleum, it was his way of "ensuring that there was someone with power that was willing to reign in the unscrupulous majority of the Daydream employees", as he had told Agent Bronze and Agent Choi, both of whom were vehemently against his decision. Alas, what could the two seniors of Hyunmu Team 1 do against their beloved junior, especially when he was making this decision for their sake as well.
Of course, it's not like Soleum was completely selfless in his decision to return to Daydream instead of the Bureau.
Inserting the now familiar pass code to unlock the door, Soleum's back straightened as he crossed the threshold into his home, shoulders already feeling much lighter at the familiar atmosphere.
Arranged neatly at the entrance, Soleum spied a familiar pair of dress shoes, larger than his yet never taking up too much space. Smile rising to his face, Soleum bent down to take off his own shoes as he called out into the deceptively empty house.
"Jaheon-ssi, I'm home."
The steady thump of footsteps slowly grew louder in his direction, a large shadow falling over Soleum, who was sat down at the entrance. Tilting his head up, Soleum's expression softened at the now familiar and welcoming lizard head that gazed down at him.
"Welcome home, Soleum-ssi."
Lee Lee Jaheon's android-like voice welcomed him home as always, a routine that the couple had grown accustomed to since establishing their relationship and moving in together in the aftermath of everything.
Just as Soleum was about to stand up and head into the house with the larger man( lizard? alien? He's still not sure about this actually), he instead stumbled at the words that followed the earlier greeting.
"Would you like to have dinner first, a bath, or me?"
The words that Soleum never thought he would hear outside of a trashy rom-com flowed out of Lee Jaheon's mouth in the same monotonous voice that he always used, his expression unchanging. If not for the fact that Lee Jaheon's red eyes were locked onto him, awaiting an answer, Soleum would have thought he had hallucinated the whole thing.
"Ah…? Uhm, I'll take a bath first? Then we can have dinner after, haha…" Soleum forced out, wondering if his lizard had picked up something weird online again, or if one of the employees Lee Jaheon had been dispatched with recently had spouted some sort of nonsense within earshot.
"? Yes." Once again back to his ChatGPT like response, Lee Jaheon headed back into the house, presumably to continue preparing dinner while Soleum took his bath.
'I should probably tell him not to do that anymore…' Heaving a sigh, Soleum shuffled towards the bathroom, shoulders slowly hunching over once again as his mind now filled with how to explain to the lizard why he shouldn't say such a thing.
"Jaheon-ssi, is dinner rea-….dy?" Soleum trailed off stunned, the hand that was still drying his hair slowing to a pause as he once again had to process what was before him.
The dinner spread wasn't the problem at all. The table was filled with the usual assortment of Korean dishes that the couple enjoyed, a standard combination of one soup, three sides, and two bowls of rice sat upon the table.
The main issue stemmed from what Lee Jaheon had donned while had been in the shower, and the… broccoli shaped lizard? No, it was a mini lizard wearing a broccoli outfit. Standing between him and his peaceful dinner with his boyfriend, was said boyfriend in a frilly, white, heart-themed apron and a tiny, broccoli-adorned lizard standing on the table.
"Jaeheon-ssi…, no, Team Leader-nim, what is this?" Soleum asked incredulously, trying very hard to maintain eye contact with the taller man despite the mass of muscle that was barely hidden by the apron.
"It is a surprise event that has been arranged for Soleum-ssi's enjoyment."
"Gerong"
"Ah-, I mean, why are you wearing…that?"
"? I thought it was a trend."
"Gerong gerong"
"Team leader-nim, I think the apron might be too small on you…"
"? It was an intentional choice made after deducing the most effective seduction method among couples."
"Gerong gerong"
Doing his best to maintain his composure despite the meaningless back-and-forth they were having, Soleum finally decided to address the not-so-quiet elephant (lizard?) in the room.
"Then, please explain what this entity is on our dining table and why it is there."
The corners of Soleum's lips twitched as he tried to maintain a smile despite the mess in this mind right now, trying to focus entirely on whatever explanation that the lizard was going to spout despite the constant 'gerong' that sounded from the mysterious being after every completed sentence.
"Yes. This entity is a member of the Union that has been put in charge of the new "Couple items" division. The aim is to collect data related to couples in order to ensure the most suitable items are listed in the store. The entity will also be testing couple trends found on the human internet to determine the feasibility of a "Love Advice" page for non-human customers."
"Gerong"
A slew of nonsensical yet logical words flowed out of the Lee Jaheon's mouth, with the small broccoli lizard croaking in what seemed like agreement.
"…Is that why you suddenly decided to do a surprise event?" Soleum asked dryly. He was starting to wonder if he should even be surprised at this point, given everything that he'd experienced by himself and alongside the larger male.
"? While the Union dispatched the new division representative here for market research, the decision to carry out the surprise event for Soleum-ssi was a choice made by the entity Lee Jaheon alone."
Doki~( ꜆⌯' '⌯)꜆♡
Soleum felt his heart do a little skip at the nonchalant display of affection that his boyfriend just showed, ears flushing a bit even as the tiny broccoli entity stared at the couple from the sidelines.
"Ahem, anyways… How long is the uh, representative, going to be here for?"
"? I don't know."
"Gerong"
And once again, the rosy, peaceful atmosphere that had built up was once again demolished by the straitlaced nature of the alien lizard standing in front of Soleum, and the croaking of the broccoli.
Running a hand down his face, Soleum glanced at the two lizards staring at him, wondering if he should just pass it off as just another alien thing and enjoy his dinner.
Letting out a small sigh, Soleum decided to give up thinking. He's already had to do way too much of that today, might as well just enjoy dinner with his boyfriend and this new addon. At least it looked cute? Plopping down at the dinner table amidst the twin, slit-eyed gazes, Soleum casually gestured to the other seat at the table as he picked up his chopsticks.
"…Let's just have dinner now. And take off the apron please, it's probably too tight to be comfortable."
"? Yes."
"Gerong"
"Does the representative have a name too?" Soleum tagged on as an afterthought, brain finally done processing everything to realise that he hadn't even asked how to address the little guy.
"? It is fine to just call it 'Representative'"
"Gerong Gerong"
Soleum couldn't understand the cries of the little one like Lee Jaheon, but even he could tell that it opposed the idea.
"Gerong"
"Rejected, it is not a required for this assignment."
"Gerong gerong gerong"
"Kim Soleum-ssi is the entity Lee Jaheon's lover, he has no obligation to respond to personal requests from the Union."
"Gerong"
"? I refuse."
Soleum watched the (honestly) one-sided drama that was going on in front of him, stuffing another piece of meat into his mouth as he inferred what the argument (did the union even have disputes?) was about.
"Jaheon-ssi, is the representative asking for me to give it a temporary name?" Soleum cut in, feeling that the back and forth had gone on long enough for him to butt in.
"I do not recommend it."
Lee Jaheon cut him off decisively, the bright red eyes looking directly into his own as the lizard's face came up close to his. Soleum could feel a bead of sweat sliding down his neck, leaving a cold trail behind as he tried his best to maintain the eye contact.
"Gerong"
Snapping his eyes away from his boyfriend, Soleum turned his eyes back to his meal, pushing his rice around as he suddenly grew self-conscious about their lack of distance. Gently pushing at the other's shoulder, Soleum continued his questioning.
"Could you explain why it's not recommended?"
"Yes. The representative's request for a name comes from personal desires and does not benefit the assigned mission of gathering information. It is also my personal desire that Kim Soleum-ssi does not grant personal wishes of people that is not his lover."
Again the lizard shoots Soleum in the heart with his casual possessiveness. Soleum could already feel himself giving in to his lizard who, at this point of time, seemed more like a giant puppy with attachment issues.
"Gerong…" A small pathetic croak rang out from the representative, feeling left out from all the lovey dovey acts that Lee Jaheon and Soleum were doing in front of it despite that being the perfect sample for it to take note of for research.
"Cough, why don't we just call it…Gerongccoli? Since it's wearing a broccoli outfit for some reason…" Soleum glanced at Lee Jaheon as he suggested tentatively. The name wasn't anything cute or affectionate, and it would solve the representative's personal request of being named by him, it'd be a win-win situation!
"…it is acceptable." A reluctant answer left the lizard's mouth, the ends of his mouth curved slightly downwards. Was he pouting?
"By the way, is there a reason why the representative is wearing a broccoli suit?"
"? I do not know."
"Sigh…."
"Gerong"