The feeling of your online best friends being a criminal organization.

by Ellie_Tree

Summary:

A texting fic where the league is unknowingly in contact with our favorite green bean or

Street magician: ok but can we talk about how he kept using perfect grammar while bleeding out? O:

Burner: shut the fuck up

Street magician: ),:

Burner: you are a grown ass fucking adult stop it

Street magician: how can one be so crule?

Duster:Cruel*

Notes:

Also, nobody knows each other's actual identity or what they do or their exact age. It's all estimations obviously everyone with the league knows each other, but that's it. Also the league knew each other at the start of the series thus everyone's going to be at the US J if I ever get to that but that's how it is because I say so.

Shigaraki = duster
toga = mosquito
mido = analyst
dabi = burned
Magne = sis
Compress = street magician
Twice = BPD

 

All right, it's making me feel bad. I don't have a discord. Please stop asking me to message you on there. I genuinely don't have one and I'm like not allowed to make one. I'm sorry.

Chapter 1: Been stabbed

March 22, 3:15 PM

Analyst: Umm, hey, so what's the protocol for a stab wound?

Mosquito: for a what now

Burned: Kid why the fuck would we know that?

Analyst: actually maybe a time-sensitive question

Burned: oh you're genuinely fucking serious

Duster: You are on the right side of the law right?

Analyst: kinda

Street magician: Okay then maybe going to a hospital would be the best bet

Sis: Is nobody else concerned the kid got stabbed at like 3:00 in the afternoon

Analyst: oh yeah why are you guys all free right now?.

Duster: idk?

BPD: Please stop texting and go to a HOSPITAL!!!!!

BPD: or just die

Analyst: no, they wouldn't help me

Analyst: and I know how to sew

Burned: what.

Duster: kid no what are you doing

Mosquito: what does that mean

Sis: Please no

Analyst: I know how to sew it'll be fine I'll be back in a minute
(everyone - analyst): *Various ways of trying to get somebody who has little medical knowledge not to perform a medical procedure on themselves*

March 22, 3:19 PM

Street magician: ok but can we talk about how he kept using perfect grammar while bleeding out? O:

Burner: shut the fuck up

Street magician: ),:

Burner: you are a grown ass fucking adult stop it

Street magician: how can one be so crule?

Duster: Cruel*

March 22, 3:52 PM

Burned: is the kid even still alive

Analyst: Of course I am I told you I know how to sew

Mosquito: Oh, thank fuck

Sis: ok but legitimately how

Analyst: I sew things in my free time so I know how to sew

Sis: but... never mind how did you even get stabbed?

Analyst: OK so it wasn't my fault

Burned: uh huh

Analyst: I was out on a walk

Analyst: and one of my bullies happened to get their hand on a knife

Sis: oh no

Analyst: and I apparently wronged them in a past life and this one too, because they decided it would be fun to stab me

duster: OK what the fuck

Analyst: meh it's an average Tuesday

Analyst: Now the more pressing matter would it be immoral of me to keep the knife?

Mosquito: no

Burned: naw

Sis: Don't think so

BPD: no

BPD: YES

Street magician: haha Of course not (;

Burned: I told you to stop that

Street magician: Ɛ>~no~<3

Burned: how... how did you make it backwards

Street magician: now, now, a magician never reveals his secret

Duster: you are so corny shut the fuck up

Duster: also, both of you are supposed to be adults

Analyst: .... anyway it's time for a good old YouTube tutorials on knife fighting

Analyst is offline

Notes:

Kind of short, all of it is going to be, but it's just something that's fun and self-indulgent!!! <3

ps if anybody thinks there's any better names, I could give the villains or mido please tell me or if you have any ideas for interaction that could happen