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Niall is definitely the apologetic sort.
He apologizes all the time for things he had no control over, things that weren't his fault.
So it makes sense, then, that this long terrible day ends with him at Alby's bedside, apologies falling from his lips.
He'd told the charge nurse he was Alby's half-brother. Said it without even thinking, really—his mum and my dad, yeah, I know we don't look alike—and she'd barely glanced up from her clipboard. He's proud of that, distantly. How steady his voice had been. How easy the lie came.
Half-brother.
He doesn't think about why that was the relation his brain latched onto.
"I'm sorry," he says again, to the room, to the monitors, to Alby's closed eyes. "I tried to get him off you. I really did try."
Alby doesn't answer, obviously. His face—
God, his face is a mess. The entire left side is one dark, terrible bruise. A split lip, a broken nose, both black eyes. Ruben had torn through him. Hadn't even given him a chance to fight back.
It's strange, Niall thinks. To look at someone's face and know it's going to be forever altered.
To know that it was your fault.
"I'm sorry," Niall says. "I really didn't mean for you to get hurt. You've got to believe me."
Alby still doesn't answer. Niall sighs and sinks back into his chair.
There's a quiet sound from the doorway, and Niall jumps, twisting around.
Ruben's leaning against the doorframe. His hair is messy and his clothes are wrinkled, but his eyes are sharp.
"He can't hear you," Ruben says, nodding at Alby. "He's under. Heard the doctors saying somethin' about swelling in the brain they needed to bring down. Somethin' about an induced coma."
In a sick, awful way, Niall wishes he were terrified of Ruben after watching him nearly kill Alby. In a sick, awful way, he'd like to feel something other than the usual relief at the sight of him. The guilt. The... want.
Ruben glances down, then. Takes a step forward, and Niall realizes that he's got his hands shoved in his pockets, his shoulders hunched, like a scolded child.
"You tried to stop me," Ruben says, softly, looking up at him from beneath his lashes. "Didn't you? You were trying to get me off him. You were trying to save him."
"I was trying to stop you from getting sent back to Polmont," Niall snaps back. "It had nothing to do with him." He claps a hand over his mouth. He hadn't meant to give that much away.
Ruben's face changes. His eyes brighten and his lips twitch into a smile. "Yeah?" he asks. "And why is that?"
Niall shrugs. He can't look away. He wants to look away. Wants to run. But his heart is thumping hard against his ribs, and there's a flush crawling up the back of his neck, and Ruben is staring at him expectantly.
"Because you'd have got done," Niall finally says, voice quiet. "For what you did to him."
Ruben is moving. He's crossing the room. He's standing behind Niall, leaning down, his lips at Niall's ear.
"Would you have missed me?"
Niall squeezes his eyes shut. His fingers curl in his lap. He doesn't answer.
Ruben comes around and takes a seat on the couch next to him, tilting his head at the body in the bed. "I've been trying to understand what the fuck he was trying to tell me before..." He waves a hand. Niall swallows. "And I think it had something to do with you."
"What makes you say that?"
"When you called me, you said he was 'spinnin' you out'." Ruben's voice is slow. Even. Like he's working it through. "What'd you mean by that?" Ruben looks at him. Really looks at him, for the first time. Niall feels his pulse stutter, his cheeks grow hot.
"Just..." He shrugs. He looks down. "He was... nice. And... I dunno, I..." Niall has no idea what he's trying to say. No idea what Ruben wants him to say. "He was being too nice and it freaked me out," he settles on. "He was..."
"Flirting with you?"
"No," Niall says, too quickly. He lets out a short dismissive laugh. "I dunno. Maybe?"
"And you..." Ruben leans forward. "Did you like it?"
"What?"
"Him flirting with you."
Niall feels all of a sudden like he's been lured into a trap of his own making. Distantly, he swears he can hear it winding up, right above his neck. "A little, yeah."
"But you said you tried to pull me off of him for me." Ruben's eyebrows go up. "So were you lyin' then, or are you lyin' now?"
"Does it matter?" Niall asks. He's trying not to let the panic show on his face, but his heart is beating harder and faster and there's a ringing in his ears. "Why does any of this matter? You beat him half to death, and all he was trying to do was..."
"What?" Ruben snaps. "He was trying to tell me you were bent?"
The trap snaps shut. Niall can't breathe, but he manages to squeeze an affirmation out from between his teeth. "Something like that, yeah."
"Is it true?"
The question is quiet, and it takes Niall a moment to process. When he does, he blinks and looks away. Shrugs.
"Yeah," he whispers.
Ruben leans back in his seat, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Huh," he says. "So... all the starin' and the... the shit between us, that's not just me, then, is it?"
Niall's head snaps around. "What?"
Ruben's grinning. "You know what I'm talking about," he says.
"No, I—"
"Don't play dumb with me, Bambers." Ruben shakes his head. He's got a strange smile on his face. A strange look in his eyes. He leans in so close his nose brushes against Niall's. "Admit it."
"You're my brother," Niall says.
Ruben's lips brush his cheek. "From another lover, remember?" he murmurs, and then his mouth is on Niall's.
Niall makes a sound in his throat that he desperately wants to be a protest. But he finds his hands tangling in Ruben's hair and his lips opening against his and it's only when Ruben's hand slips into his lap and palms the front of his jeans that Niall pulls back.
"We can't," he gasps.
"No, that's where you're wrong," Ruben whispers. His thumb finds the head of Niall's cock through the denim and rubs, and Niall shudders. "We can. And we will." Ruben kisses him again, his tongue licking into his mouth, and Niall's breath catches. His head is spinning, and his cock is aching, and his body is screaming yes, and the rest of him is screaming no, and he's dizzy with it. "You can't tell me you don't want to," Ruben murmurs, pressing kisses to his jaw.
"Alby is—" Ruben's hand clamps around his throat, and Niall's words cut off with a strangled gasp.
"Don't say that fucker's name while I'm touchin' you," Ruben hisses. He leans in. Presses his lips to the hollow of Niall's throat. Licks a stripe up his neck. "Understood?"
Niall's eyelids flutter, and he nods, once.
"Good." Ruben's grip on his throat loosens. "Now," he whispers, his breath ghosting over Niall's skin, "How long do we have, d'you think?"
Niall's mind is reeling. Ruben's touch is muddling everything, scrambling his thoughts. He can't focus, can't think, can't—
"Cat got your tongue, Bambi?" Ruben's other hand finds the button on his jeans and undoes it. He works Niall's fly open and pushes the denim down just enough to reach inside his pants. "How long do you think we have before someone comes checkin' in on him? Ten minutes? Thirty? An hour?"
Niall swallows hard, shaking his head. He can't think, can't fucking breathe—
Ruben hums thoughtfully. He's jerking Niall off slowly, teasingly, and Niall's hips are twitching in the chair, trying to thrust up, trying to get more.
"You're no help at all," Ruben tells him, clicking his tongue. He withdraws his hand, and Niall lets out a groan of protest. "Shh," Ruben hisses, a smirk on his face, "You don't want them to find us like this, do you?"
"No," Niall mutters, shaking his head again.
Ruben stands and moves in front of him. "Get up."
"What?"
"I'm not givin' you a choice, Bambi." He grins. "I'm tellin' you. Get up."
Niall rises. Ruben's grin widens, and he reaches for the front of Niall's pants, tugging his jeans and boxers down his thighs. Niall's breath catches and he goes hot, his eyes darting toward the door.
"Oy," Ruben's voice lowers, and NIall shivers. "Eyes on me, yeah? Look at me."
"But the door, it's not locked. Anyone could—"
"I don't care," Ruben says. He's stroking Niall's cock again, and Niall is fighting the urge to drop his head back and let out a groan. "Tell me something, Bambers," Ruben murmurs, "Did you want to fuck him?"
Niall blinks, not fully processing the question. He shakes his head.
"No?" Ruben breathes. He's pulling his own jeans down, then his underwear, and his cock bobs free.
Niall's breath catches.
Ruben is hard, his cock thick and heavy. Niall's mouth is watering, he's desperate, and he's wanted this for so fucking long. Ruben, as if he's been privy to the thought, wraps a hand around both their cocks and strokes.
"Oh, Jesus," Niall breathes. He can't help it—he bucks his hips, and Ruben grins, his eyes bright.
"Did you want him to fuck you then?" Ruben's hands are calloused, his grip strong and firm, and Niall's knees are weak. He's trembling. He nods, his forehead dropping against Ruben's shoulder. Ruben catches his attention by squeezing, hard, and Niall shudders, pulling away to look at him. "No, focus. Look at him." He presses his fingertips to Niall's chin, jerking his head towards the unconscious body in the hospital bed. "Alby. Did you want him to fuck you? Is that it?"
"No," Niall manages, shutting his eyes. This feels sick, and wrong, and he is going to hell for how good it feels. He's desperate for Ruben, desperate for more, desperate to come, so all he can manage is, "Please."
"No, I said look at him," Ruben hisses. "Look at him. Open your eyes."
Niall forces his eyes open.
"You didn't want him, did you?" Ruben whispers, and Niall shakes his head.
"No," he says, and Ruben smiles.
"Who d'you want, then?"
Niall doesn't have a chance to answer before Ruben is turning him, pressing him up against the edge of the bed. His palms are flat against the thin mattress and his face is turned towards Alby, who is still, so still, his bruised and broken face slack.
Ruben's body is behind him, and his chest is pressed to his back, and his hand is sliding around to grip his throat.
"Say it," Ruben breathes in his ear.
Niall is dizzy. There's a roaring in his ears and heat in his belly and he's so turned on, so needy, he's never felt like this, not ever.
"Say it," Ruben hisses. His free hand is trailing down Niall's side, and he's pushing his jeans further down his legs, and he's gripping Niall's ass and spreading his cheeks. The sound of him spitting into his hand is obscene, and Niall can feel the slick wetness a second later, and then—
Ruben's cock is sliding against him, rubbing at him. The spit is warm and it's not nearly enough. Niall's mouth falls open and a groan escapes his lips and Ruben's hand tightens around his throat.
"No, no, no, Bambers..." Ruben's teeth find his earlobe and he bites down, then whispers, "you don't get anything 'til you tell me. So, c'mon. Say it. Who do you want to fuck you, huh?"
Ruben is rubbing against him. Pressing, the blunt head of his cock catching, and then sliding past, and Niall feels a sob of frustration welling up.
"Please," he gasps, and Ruben laughs. "Don't make me say it out loud."
"You've got to," Ruben whispers. "Otherwise, I'll go. And then you'll have nothing, and I'll be left with this—" he rolls his hips, his cock dragging against Niall's ass, "and no one to take care of it."
Niall is shaking. He doesn't know how much longer he can hold out. His whole body is throbbing and his cock is aching, and Ruben is still rubbing, and pressing, and the slick wet sounds of his hand on his cock are making him dizzy, and Niall thinks he's going to die.
"Ruben," he finally breathes. "Christ, fine. It's you, okay? You're the one I want. You're the one I—" Niall's tears spill over, and the words catch in his throat.
There's a sharp intake of breath behind him, like despite all the shit Ruben's said, the fact that Niall's just admitted this out loud has startled him.
"You're the one I want," Niall whispers. "Please."
"Please, what?" Ruben is still breathing heavily, and his voice is ragged. "Say it."
"Fuck me," Niall pleads. "Fuck me, please, Ruben, fuck—"
His words turn into a cry as Ruben thrusts forward. There's pressure, and then a flash of pain, and Niall drops his forehead against the bed right next to Alby's feet.
Ruben's grip on his throat tightens, and his other hand slides down to grab his hip, and he pulls back, and thrusts forward, and Niall is choking back sobs. It's not good. It's not even close to good. But it's also the best thing he's ever felt.
"Oh, God," Ruben is panting, his fingers digging into Niall's hip. "Fuck, Bambi. You're so tight."
"I'm sorry," Niall chokes. It feels like he's being split apart, his neglected cock throbbing and leaking and desperate to be touched. His head is swimming, his knees threatening to buckle. Right now, Ruben's grip on his hip is the only thing keeping him upright. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't apologize," Ruben murmurs, his mouth pressed to Niall's temple. "God, no, don't. You're so good, so tight. Fuck." He lets out a short laugh. "What the fuck was he gonna do with all this?"
The words don't register for a moment, and then Ruben is snapping his hips, and his cock drags against something inside of Niall that makes him shudder and moan.
"I'd smash his face in again if I wasn't preoccupied at the moment," Ruben is muttering. "Fuckin' idiot, tryin' to put his cock in this, Christ. Like he'd be any good. Like you'd even enjoy it." He slaps his palm down on Niall's ass and Niall whimpers. "This is mine, this is all mine, all for me, yeah? Only I get this, yeah, Bambi? Say it!"
"Yes," Niall cries. He's close, so close, and he doesn't want it to end, but he can't stop himself from pushing back against Ruben, grinding back against him. "Only you."
"Say it again," Ruben pants. He's close, too. Niall can tell.
"It's yours," Niall gasps, "it's only for you, Ruben."
Ruben groans behind him. The thrusts quicken, become more erratic, and he's letting out a stream of curses under his breath, and his cock is driving into Niall harder and faster and deeper, and the pressure is building, and Niall can feel it rising, and rising, and—
"Come on, Bambi," Ruben gasps, his nails biting into the skin at Niall's hip. "Come for me, yeah?"
Niall's whole body goes taut, and then the pressure is cresting, and he's coming so hard his vision whites out and he's gasping, and trembling, and collapsing forward onto the bed.
Ruben isn't far behind, swearing and thrusting deep, and the hot rush of him spilling into Niall makes him shiver, and sigh, and shut his eyes.
There's a beat where neither of them move. The room is still, save for the sounds of their heavy breathing. And then, slowly, carefully, Ruben withdraws.
Niall lets out a soft whimper as the emptiness settles in.
He's vaguely aware of his clothes being tugged back up, his jeans fastened, and then he's being pulled to his feet. When he refocuses, Ruben is staring between Alby's smashed up face and the spurt of white come on the bed.
"What—"
"Shh, Bambers," Ruben mutters. "Just thinkin'."
"About what?"
Ruben looks up at him. A slow, easy smile spreads across his face. He steps forward, scoops up some of the mess, and reaches for Alby's bandaged face.
Niall's eyes widen. He grabs Ruben's wrist, and Ruben's gaze flicks up.
"W-what are you doing?" Niall manages.
"Making sure this prick knows exactly who you belong to," Ruben says, matter-of-fact. He shrugs Niall's grip off, and smears his fingers along Alby's lips, coating them in streaks of white. "I'm lettin' him have a taste of what he's missing out on. It's a kindness."
Niall feels nauseous, but his soft cock gives a half-hearted twitch. Ruben notices, and his smile widens.
"See, look. Your body knows, Bambers." Ruben takes his hand and squeezes his fingers together, and the come drips down his knuckles. "It likes it. You like it."
Niall wants to argue, wants to disagree, but in the face of Ruben's unabashed glee, he's finding it difficult.
"You're a sick fucking bastard," Niall whispers.
Ruben lets out a laugh, and kisses him, and Niall lets his eyes slip closed. "You love it," he murmurs against his mouth, and Niall swallows hard.
"Yeah," he says. "I do."