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Buck threw his duffle bag in his locker before he jogged up to the loft where everyone else was. As he was going up the stairs, he tucked the chain with his wedding ring in his shirt. He didn’t want the team to see the ring and question him. He’d been doing good these past four years with no questions.
It wasn’t that Buck didn’t trust them– he did, but he joined the 118 during a rough time and didn’t want to talk about it, so he kept it to himself. His husband got discharged and went through the fire academy. After that, he went to Station 133. Despite that, though, Buck still kept his husband to himself. He figured too much time had passed for it to not be awkward for him to mention a husband.
In the loft, Hen and Chimney were fighting over the game controller while Bobby was sitting at the table with his laptop in front of him. Ravi, their probie, was nowhere to be found– probably doing his job. Buck sat down opposite Bobby and dropped his head to the table, cushioned by his arms.
He missed his husband and son already, and he was not even ten minutes into his shift. Eddie left a little before Buck, dropping Christopher off at school before his shift. So, Buck gave his two boys a quick kiss and a ‘have a good day’ before they had to go. After they left, he was left to his own devices for another half hour or so before he had to head to work.
Eddie had a twelve hour shift while Buck got stuck with a twenty-four hour. Normally, though, their schedules lined up perfectly with a couple of shifts here or there out of place. This was one of those rare times, and Buck was left reeling.
“You okay, Buck?” Bobby, his captain and pseudo-father, asked.
Buck didn’t bother to raise his head from the table as he answered, “‘M ready to go home.” His voice was muffled by his arms. He felt a small smile pull at his lips when Bobby chuckled. After four years one would think that Buck had somehow managed to continue pouting around Bobby, but no, he hasn’t.
“You just got here,” his captain pointed out, used to Buck’s antics.
“Yes, and I’m already done!”
“Oh, only twenty-four more hours left to go,” Bobby said, a teasing lilt coloring his voice. Buck groaned and nestled his head into his arms even more, feeling the warm puff of his breath against his fingers. He didn’t bother to respond.
Buck closed his eyes and just breathed, almost lulling himself to sleep when his phone dinged. He groaned once again before slowly untangling his arms to reach his pocket for his phone. Clicking to turn his phone on, he smiled when he saw a text message from Eddie. He wanted to giggle and kick his feet when he saw ‘Eddie <3’. If he had long hair, he would be twirling it around his finger.
Even after all of these years with Eddie, he couldn’t help the giddiness that flooded through him with anything related to his husband and son. He had people to call his own. He had someone who trusted him enough to leave a kid in his care. He had someone to listen to his spiels. And while they may be called his, Buck belonged to them just as much. They loved him just as much as he loved them. It took him a while to accept that, but he eventually did. So, he couldn’t help it when he had a reaction from his husband texting him.
Eddie <3: Remember that kid I told you about? Charlie?
Buck had to think about it for a second. Eddie would tell him about quite a few calls and vice versa, so it took him a minute to remember.
Buck: oh yeah! the kid that you thought was getting poisoned?
Eddie <3: Yes, turns out I might have been right. Got a call, getting ready to head there
Buck: okay! keep me updated. stay safe. i love you!!
Eddie <3: You stay safe too, baby. I love you
Buck couldn’t help but let out a small giggle at the pet name and easy affection coming from his husband. As he pocketed his phone, he tried to will his blush to go away. Damn Eddie for always managing to get a reaction out of him. Even from something so simple.
“Are you alright over there, Buckaroo?” Chimney asked, snapping Buck out of his Eddie daydream. Chim gestured to his face. “You’re a little red.”
Buck nodded twice. “Yes–yeah, perfectly fine!” He cleared his throat. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. Why wouldn’t you be?”
Thankfully the tones went off, preventing Buck from digging himself an even deeper hole. Well, maybe not a hole, but he definitely had a shovel in his hand.
He did want the team to meet his family. They’d met Maddie, and look at her and Chimney. Buck knew they would be happy for him, but he didn’t know when the right time to bring his husband and son up would be. So, he kept that piece to himself.
The call was not a fire or medical emergency, so they left the station in their basic uniforms. They left the station with no lights or sirens since it wasn’t a “need to be there now” call.
Turns out, it was a fucking cat. A little boy’s cat got out of the house, got scared and scrambled up a tree, a dog at the base barking up the tree. As Buck connected his harness to go up the ladder, he said, “Can’t believe this is the first time in four years that I’ve had to get a cat out of a tree.” He grabbed the little tuxedo, and oof. The claws hurt as they dug into his arm. Quickly but safely, he went down the ladder and deposited the cat in the boy’s arms. Someone must have retrieved the barking dog since it was nowhere in sight. Thank fucking goodness.
“Always a first for something. This was my first time receiving this type of call too,” Hen added. She looked down at the welts on Buck’s arms. “You good?”
He looked down at his arms and noticed a couple of tiny dots of blood. He thumbed it away, leaving a small smear. With a shrug, he said, “Yeah, not a big deal.”
They were in the engine, a couple minutes out from the station when Buck’s worst nightmare came true. A voice crackled over their radios, “Firefighter down! Firefighter’s been shot!” Buck’s blood ran cold at the voice. He knew that voice. That voice spoke at Eddie’s probationary ceremony. That was Captain Mehta, captain of the 133.
After that, they rushed the rest of the way to the fire station. Buck jumped out with his phone in hand, not even waiting for the engine to pull to a complete stop, and not a care in the world for anything else. He sprinted up the stairs and lunged for the remote, going straight to the news. There it was on screen.
Engines and ambulances belonging to the 133 on scene surrounded by police cars. And, in the middle of it all, a body Buck would recognize even in death.
His husband.
His husband was the one who was shot. Oh God, Eddie was the one shot.
Buck dropped to the couch and brought a hand to his mouth as he watched in horror; his husband bleeding out on the pavement, somewhere that Buck didn’t recognize and couldn’t go. Tears sprung to his eyes that he could not blink away. Not as he watched as they haphazardly loaded Eddie in one of the engines. As there was a streak of Eddie’s blood left on the road.
His phone went off. He reluctantly pulled his eyes away from the TV, breath hitching as he did so. He didn’t want to look away and miss something vital. He looked down at his phone to see who was calling. An unknown number.
With shaky hands, he pressed the green button and brought it up to his ear. He waited for the person who called to say something. If they had news on his husband, then they would have to be the ones who spoke first. Buck didn’t have it in him to say anything. He couldn’t say anything.
“Mr. Diaz?” A man spoke on the other side of the phone.
“Mhm-mm. Yes?” His voice was thin and brittle.
“Edmundo Diaz got rushed in with a GSW to his right shoulder. You are listed as his emergency contact?” Some shuffling on the other line. Buck couldn’t breathe. Not when his world was maybe ending.
He sniffed. “Yes. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” He didn’t need to ask which hospital. It was always the closest one. And from the looks of it, Eddie needed that one. And that one was twenty-five minutes away.
Some more shuffling before, “We’ll update you more when you get here, Mr. Diaz.”
Buck couldn’t respond as he hung up. He wiped his hand over his face as he looked up. Bobby was standing there with a look of concern etched on his face, and Hen and Chim were perched behind him. Buck stood up on weak legs to step closer to Bobby. “I’m sorry,” he started, looking away and clearing the cracks in his voice away, “but something happened. I can’t finish my shift. I have to go.” He looked back at Bobby. Bobby looked closely at him. So much so that Buck felt scrutinized.
Buck didn’t know what he was looking for, but Bobby must have found it because he started nodding. “I’ll find someone to cover the rest of your shift. If you need more coverage or anything else, let me know.”
Buck wanted to pull Bobby into a hug and start crying, but he couldn’t. So he stuck with, “Thank you, Bobby!” and fled. He was down the stairs and in his Jeep in a new record. He didn’t even bother to grab his duffle bag with his civilian clothes.
Within fifteen minutes Buck was pulling up to a parking space and stumbling out of his car. If it wasn’t his husband injured, maybe he would have had more of a mind to be cautious of the people surrounding him. Maybe he would have been worried about getting shot while in uniform. But it was his husband, so Buck’s mind was scrambled eggs.
He bumped into people’s shoulders and ignored their sounds of frustration as he ran into the hospital lobby. His heart was thumping in his ears and he could all but feel his blood rushing through him. He was short of shoving people out of his way to get to the front desk. A petite woman with dark circles under her eyes looked up as Buck took a deep breath. He needed to calm down.
“I’m here for Edmundo Diaz? Someone said they would update me more once I got here?” The words rushed out and sounded like one run-on sentence.
The woman blinked before saying, “Give me one second,” and turning to her computer before typing away. Restless, Buck tapped his fingers on the counter where his hands were resting. It felt like hours before she finally said, “He’s been rushed into surgery. He lost a lot of blood on the way here so doctors had to give him blood. There is a fracture in his clavicle that they are looking at along with retrieving the bullet and any fragments there may be.”
Buck nodded thoughtlessly. Okay, okay. It sounded like he was okay, right? It sounded like his husband was going to make a full recovery, right? Eddie would have to make a full recovery. Buck didn’t know what he would do without him. How he would live life and raise Christopher and go to work and and and.
“But he’s going to be okay, right?”
The woman sighed. “Once the surgery is done, the doctor will be out to explain in more detail.”
Buck wanted to scream, because this meant more waiting. More not knowing if Eddie would make it through surgery. More being stuck in fucking limbo. Because of fucking course this happened to Eddie. Buck’s precious Eddie who had already went through hell on Earth with the military. His precious Eddie who was so soft and sweet with their son. Who would take bugs outside instead of killing them. His Eddie , who loved Buck so much he married him.
That Eddie was currently in an OR and Buck had no clue how it was going in there. Has Eddie coded? If so, how many times has he coded? The Eddie Buck knew and loved would fight like hell to get back to him and Christopher. Buck knew Eddie would fight. Deep down in his bones, he knew. But he couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t scared. Because he was.
He was scared shitless. Of course he was. He was scared shitless almost a decade ago when Eddie went and joined the military. He was scared shitless when he got a call and was told that his fiance’s helicopter had been shot down and that he had been shot. He was even scared when Eddie told him his plans to go through the academy. Because if he was in the academy then that meant he became a firefighter, and if he became a firefighter then that meant that there were a multitude of possible ways that Eddie could get hurt.
And they had talked about it. They talked about it with each other first and then they brought it up with Chris. Chris thought it was cool that both of his dads were going to be firefighters. Buck watched as their son’s eyes lit up and his movements became animated with excitement. So, Eddie went through with the fire academy. There were a few hiccups here and there, but nothing to call home about. This was Eddie’s first life threatening experience since being a firefighter. And Buck was stuck at a completely different station, not able to do a damn thing.
Frustration was close to boiling over the more he thought about it. How useless he felt, seeing it on the news and hearing it over the radio. Because of course that was how Buck would find out. Of course the universe wouldn’t let Buck be there with Eddie to make sure he was still breathing. To put pressure on the wound. Fuck, to just look over Eddie. And now, he was going to have to tell his son that he wasn’t sure if his dad was coming home. That his dad was in bad shape.
He dialed Carla’s number and brought the phone up to his ear. Two rings later and a, “Hello?” She sounded confused. Obviously she would because Buck is supposed to be only a couple of hours into his twenty-four hour shift.
“He–Hey, Carla. Um, I…” he stopped, his voice breaking and tears springing to his eyes. He couldn’t stop them as they found home down his cheek. He looked up at the bright, fluorescent hospital lights to try to stop the tears. They didn’t stop. “Ed–Eddie…He– uh– I don’t know if you saw the news, but–” His breath hitched and he let it out in a shuddering breath. “--Eddie was the firefighter that got shot. He’s in surgery right now.”
A gasp and then some muffled sounds. “Sorry, was moving to the kitchen. Do you know how he’s doing?”
“Um…no, no I don’t. They said something about him maybe having a fractured collarbone and losing a lot of blood. But I have to wait for the doctor.” He leaned forward, head hanging between his shoulders, tears falling faster. “I have to tell Chris. What do I tell Chris?” He shouldn’t be asking Carla this. He doesn’t know who he should be asking, but he shouldn’t be putting this pressure on Carla. He couldn’t ask Shannon, Chris’ mom and Eddie’s ex-wife, because she had died a little over a year ago in a car accident. And the rest of the 118 didn’t know about the most important people in Buck’s life. He could ask Maddie, but she had her own things going on with her daughter being born not that long ago. So, that left Carla. Their home health care aide.
He listened as Carla took a deep breath, probably to ground herself. “You don’t. Not right now. Wait until you get news, okay? If you don’t know anything right now, wait until you have all of the facts. I will watch him for however long you need, okay?”
Buck blinked, causing more tears to fall. He dug the heels of his palm into his eye. He wondered what he looked like. Uniform in disarray, eyes bloodshot and red rimmed, hair probably a mess, and tear streaks down his face while hunched over. He wondered if people knew just by looking at him that he might be losing the love of his life. If they knew that he was going through the worst possible thing that he could. “Thank you, Carla,” he managed to croak out.
“You don’t have to thank me, just keep me updated.”
Buck hummed and brought his phone down to his lap, not bothering to see if Carla had hung up. He brought his other palm up to his hand and groaned. It sounded pained and broken, encapsulating everything he was feeling. Before long, his shoulders were shaking from how hard he was crying. He was trying to keep his cries in, but they poured out of him like a faucet. He kept his head down and the heels of his palms in his eyes. He paid no attention to the cuffs of his long-sleeved shirt collecting his tears. He just cried and cried.
He couldn’t say that they haven’t had a while with each other, but it hadn’t been long enough. It took them a little bit to get their shit together and get together. Buck worked on a ranch in El Paso and he met Eddie right before he went off on his first tour. Shannon was pregnant and Eddie was marrying her. They hit it off, but then Eddie got married and went off to war. They kept in contact with each other while Eddie was away, and when Eddie got back he told Buck that he and Shannon were getting a divorce. It took a couple months after that before they finally got together.
So no, it hadn’t been enough time with each other. Not nearly enough, and Buck didn’t know what he would do if Eddie didn’t survive this.
It was a few hours before a guy in a white coat came out of the double doors. Despite not knowing if it was for him, Buck stood up and started to walk over to the doctor. “Family of Edmundo Diaz?” Buck closed the few feet between him and the doctor.
“Yes, I’m his husband. Is he okay?” Buck didn’t know what to expect. His heart beat was pounding in his ears and he could feel it all the way down to the tips of his fingers and toes.
“Mr. Diaz made it through surgery,” the doctor said. Buck’s knees buckled as he let out a breath he’d been holding for hours. “He is in the ICU for recovery. He lost a lot of blood and fractured his clavicle. He also coded twice.” Buck froze. Something in him knew that Eddie coded. But hearing it was so much harder than he thought it would be. What would this mean going forward? “But we did get him back. Right now, we have him in a medically induced coma to try to speed up his healing process. His body had a great deal of trauma. But, as of right now, he is okay. We are going to keep an eye on him through the rest of the night to see how things go.”
Buck took a deep breath. That was a lot of information that he was trying to retain. Instead, it felt like it was going in one ear and out the other with how distant Buck felt. “But he’s okay, right?” It felt like he had asked this question so many times to many different people. It was a mantra that he had been repeating to himself these past few hours. Eddie would be okay, Eddie would be okay. He has to be okay. Is he going to be okay?
The doctor looked Buck up and down with a sad smile. “As of right now, Mr. Diaz, he is okay. Again, we’re going to watch him throughout the night to make sure that nothing dips.”
Buck found the nearest chair and sat down. He couldn’t continue to stand on his jelly legs. He took another deep breath to try to calm his pounding heart. “When can I see him?” He was desperate to see his husband. He needed to see him.
“Considering he just got out of surgery, let’s aim for tomorrow.”
“Okay, okay.” Buck nodded, mostly to himself. “Can I bring my son with me tomorrow?”
The doctor gave Buck another sympathetic look as he shook his head. “Not while he’s in the ICU. No children allowed, unfortunately.”
Buck’s shoulders sagged. Great, so he was going to have to go home, tell Chris his dad got shot, and that he didn’t know when he could see him. Just fucking great. “Thanks,” he said softly, already pulling Bobby’s contact up. He didn’t even take into consideration that they might be on a call or that Bobby might be busy doing some sort of paperwork.
After a few rings, Buck was getting ready to hang up when, “Buck?”
“Bobby,” he breathed. He couldn’t help it. Yes, Eddie was Buck’s safe landing for anything, but if there were anyone else that he could safely land, it would be Bobby. Bobby who was there for Buck in a way his actual dad wasn’t. Bobby who taught Buck lessons throughout these past four years and took him under his wing. Bobby, who Buck really needed to talk to, even if he wasn’t ready to tell him the whole truth.
“How’s everything going, kid?” The nickname almost undid Buck, but he held strong.
“It’s going. I know that I have tomorrow off since I was supposed to work a twenty-four today, but I was calling to let you know that I’ll probably need the next day off too, if that was okay?” Buck tried not to think about how he never called into work, and that this was a first. He tried not to think about how this could raise suspicions for Bobby. But he needed these next couple of days off so that he could take care of Chris and see Eddie.
“Okay, that’s fine. I’ll find someone to cover for your next shift.” Bobby said it as if it was something so simple, and as if Buck’s life wasn’t changing before his eyes.
“Are you not going to ask why?” Buck didn’t know why he pressed. He didn’t want Bobby to ask why, but he was surprised that Bobby was just going with the flow.
“You’ll tell me when you’re ready– if ever.”
That– That right there is what broke Buck. Not the nickname or Bobby going with everything so easily, but Bobby’s easy support. Buck cried. Heavier than he did earlier. Bobby’s support along with the good news was overwhelming. So he couldn’t help it when sobs poured out of his body. He didn’t care that they were a smidge too loud. Not with Bobby on the other side of the phone. “I love you, Bobby.” And maybe later he will realize that the reason Bobby briefly paused for a split second before responding was because this was the first time they had said something like that to each other.
“I love you, too, Buck. Whatever is going on, you’ll work through it. You always do.”
Telling Christopher that his dad was hurt was hell on Earth. Not because of the young boy– never because of him– but because of Buck. Because Buck didn’t know how to control his emotions. So, when he told their son, he started crying…again. Chris was a champ about it, and it sucked that he even had to be. The young boy has already been through so much in his ten years of life. He lost his mom at a young age, almost lost his dad before that to the military, and now his dad was in the hospital from getting shot.
Christopher just couldn’t catch a break, and Buck’s heart ached when he thought about all the pain that his boy had been through. He wanted to wrap Christopher up in a blanket and never let him out into the world. He couldn’t, though, so the best he could do was wrap Chris up in his arms and fall asleep in bed with him.
The next morning, they got dishes filed away and Christopher dressed for school. “Buck,” he whined, his head thrown back.
“I’m sorry, kiddo, but the hospital said children aren’t allowed in the ICU.” Buck bent down at his knees so he could be eye level with Chris. “You’ll get to see him soon, though, I promise.”
“But I wanna see him now!” Chris lightly stomped one of his feet. Buck put his hand on Christopher’s shoulder. “I don’t wanna go to school! I want to see dad!”
“Hey, look at me,” Buck said softly. He didn’t move or say a single word until Christopher looked at him. When his blue eyes were on Buck, he ran his fingers through his unruly curls. “You will see your dad in a few days, okay? They’re just monitoring him for right now.”
Christopher threw his arms around Buck’s neck and held on tightly. Buck wrapped one arm around his waist so that his other hand was free to run through Chris’ curls. “Okay, Papa,” Chris said, which shocked Buck since he wasn’t called that often.
“But, as of right now, kiddo, we gotta get you to school.” Buck squeezed his arm before pulling away from his son. “When I know more, I will let you know.”
After that, they clambered into the Jeep and headed to school. For the first time in ages, it was quiet. No fun facts being talked about, no radio playing, not even a hum from Buck or Chris. When Buck would glance over at his son, Christopher would be looking out the window with a forlorn look. He even sounded sad when he said goodbye and that he loved Buck when they got to the school.
The ride back home was somehow even more depressing without another person in the car. Maddie has checked in, along with Hen and Chimney, but he hadn’t told them anything. Just that there was something that happened with his family and that he needed a couple of days off. They seemed reluctant to accept that but they did.
He got back to the house and turned on the news. In bold letters: Firefighters Targeted By Sniper Attacks.
So it wasn’t a one-off thing. It was something that was actively happening and was going to continue happening until they apprehended whoever was responsible. Apparently another firefighter had been shot and was in the hospital. And Buck was stuck at home while all of this was happening, while his husband was in the hospital due to being the first victim of the sniper.
He wanted to text the group chat that had him, Bobby, Hen, and Chim in it to ask if they had heard about the sniper targeting firefighters. But he figured that would be a stupid question considering they had a shift tomorrow, so they were probably constantly getting updated with how things were going.
He was waiting for visiting hours to open up at the hospital. He felt antsy as he watched the time crawl at a snail’s pace. He worked on the dishes, cleaning the living room up, tidying his and Eddie’s room, and even scrubbing the toilet. When he looked at the time, it was forty-five minutes until eleven, so he hurriedly dressed in something different and rushed out of his house.
The hospital was bright, contradicting the feelings flooding Buck. He went to the front desk and let the younger man know that he was there to see Eddie. The guy gave him his room number, and Buck was off like someone lit a fire under his ass. He was outside of Eddie’s door in no time at all, but he couldn’t open the door and walk in. He didn’t– couldn’t handle seeing Eddie in bad shape again. He knew going in there that Eddie would be intubated, that the sight would always be seared into his brain.
Hand on the door handle, he let his head thump against the glass. As Eddie’s husband he should be able to push all of this away to be able to be there for him. But it was difficult. Knowing what he was going to walk in on. Buck was hesitant, but he had to see him– no matter what. So, with a deep breath to calm his nerves, he turned the handle and stepped into the room.
There Eddie was, intubated and covered in wires. His arm was in a sling, and a blanket was brought up to his waist. Buck would have to bring a different blanket up along with a change of clothes for when he woke up. Eddie’s skin was paler than normal, and Buck could see bandages peeking out from under the hospital gown. But he was alive.
Eddie was alive, and that was all that Buck could think.
Buck dropped down into the chair left of Eddie and tentatively grabbed his uninjured hand. His skin, thankfully, was warm under his touch. Buck couldn’t help but curl his fingers out Eddie’s hand. “Hey, baby,” he said softly into the quiet of the room. “I tell you to be safe on your shift and you decide to go and get shot, you bastard.” He chuckled lightly. It didn’t dawn on him until much later that Eddie got shot shortly after Buck told him to be safe. He brought Eddie’s hand up and kissed it ever so softly. His love– the love of his life love.
He sat there for hours, sometimes saying something, most of the time just holding onto his husband. He lost track of time. All he knew was his husband’s hand, the uncomfortable chair beneath him, and the humming of the ventilator. When he finally looked at the clock on the wall he got up.
He lost track of time, and he was going to be late at getting Chris from school. “I’ve gotta go get Chris from school, sweetheart. When they bring you to a regular room, I’ll bring him to come see you, I promise. I love you so, so much.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Eddie’s forehead and ran his fingers through his dark hair. “I love you,” he murmured again against the warmth of Eddie’s skin.
He said bye to the nurses and doctors as he left the hospital. It was almost 3:45 in the afternoon, so traffic was a bitch and he was just a little late to getting Christopher. He pulled into a handicap parking spot and went to the office to let them know he was there and that he didn’t mean to be late. Chris was sitting on a cloth chair with his legs swinging. When the sound of the door closing, he looked up.
“Buck!” He stood up and grabbed his crutches to get to Buck. He threw his arms around Buck’s legs. Buck held him closer.
“I’m sorry, kiddo. I lost track of time with Dad.” Buck decided honesty was the best policy right now. Christopher deserved to know where Buck was. He didn’t want to worry his son even more with everything going on. “It won’t happen again.” He put his hands under Chris’ armpits and hauled him up to settle on his hip. He went to the window where the secretary was sitting. “Hey, sorry for being late. I was with his father in the hospital. I lost track of time…” he trailed off.
She smiled at him, all teeth. “It’s no problem. Give a call ahead of time next this happens though, please.”
Buck just nodded and turned around with his son still on his hip. A call ahead of time? Did she not know what happened to Eddie? Why Eddie was in the hospital? And she wanted Buck to call next time something like that happened? He couldn’t just expect, every waking moment, for his husband to get shot by some rando going after firefighters. He couldn’t expect that he would have to be visiting him in the hospital. A call? Well, she can shove the call up her ass for all he cared.
“C’mon, bud,” Buck said, putting his hand on Christopher’s shoulder to guide him away from the secretary. They left the school in stilted silence. It took the halfway mark home before Christopher spoke.
“Is Dad okay?” He sounded so scared. Buck tightened his grip on the steering wheel and swallowed. His little boy was scared and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. Not until Eddie woke up.
“He’s okay. He’s still sleeping, though.”
And that was that. They got home, ate dinner, Christopher showered and changed, and then fell asleep with Buck in his and Eddie’s bed. Buck didn’t go to sleep until hours later, Chris snoring and nuzzled into his side.
The next day went similarly. Except, this time, Buck made sure to keep an eye on the clock while he was with Eddie. A nurse came by to let Buck know how Eddie was doing, and he was doing better. They were expecting to move him into a regular room within a couple of days. But Buck knew that anything could happen in such a short amount of time. That scared him.
Buck showed up for his next shift. Knowing that Eddie was going to have a long and tedious recovery, he knew that he couldn’t afford to miss any more shifts. He told Christopher that he was going back to work and the little boy voiced his concerns. Buck tried his hardest to reassure Christopher that it would be okay. That things would go good.
That was until they got a call about a worker who was trapped on the top of a crane. He was dying and no one could do anything since they had to be cautious with the sniper still out and about. So, Buck doing what Buck does, he went up the crane. He had a bullet proof vest on, but even he knew that wasn’t enough to protect his head from a bullet. But he trudged on. He ignored Bobby’s commands to come back down as he climbed each rung of the ladder. He kept a watchful eye at the towering buildings surrounding them.
A glint came off one of the windows.
Buck paused, holding his breath. After a couple more seconds, he let his breath heave out of him as he let his forehead drop against the cool metal. His adrenaline was high and there was only one thing he was thinking: get to the guy– save the guy.
So he did. He got up to the guy and radioed down to the two paramedics and asked for instructions as to how to get the man unstuck. He did and got the man lowered to the ground. As soon as he touched ground, he knew just by the look on Bobby’s face that he was going to get an ass chewing.
Buck was known for being reckless. That was something that the team had grown used to, but this was a different time of recklessness. Even Buck knew that, and he knew why. It was because his husband was in the hospital from getting shot and he wasn’t there to stop it or save him. But he was here, where an injured guy was, and he could save him, so he did. He saved the guy, and if Bobby chews him out for it, then so be it. Buck did his job.
The ride back to the station was quiet. Hen and Chimney were giving each other looks and having silent conversations. Bobby was in the captain's chair, probably fuming. Buck was sitting by the window with his head leaning against it. Ravi was sitting in front of him, but Buck paid him no mind.
In his peripheral vision, he saw Chimney open his mouth to probably say something when a ringing phone cut through the silence. Buck lifted his head and eyed his friends. No one moved. “Is someone going to get that?” he asked, not meaning to be snappy when he said it.
“I think it’s for you.” Hen nodded down at his leg. And now that it was brought to his attention, he could feel it buzzing against his leg.
There’s only two possible people it could be. Eddie’s doctor, or someone from Christopher’s school. He didn’t want to look, because if it was the hospital, then that meant that something went wrong. And if it was Chris’ school, then that meant something went wrong there, too. His heart beat sped up and his ears started ringing. He could ignore it and not know who called. What went wrong. Or he could face it head on.
With tingling fingers, he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Christopher’s School flashed on his screen. He let out a sigh of relief. But even though the relief was there, the anxiety was still bubbling under his skin. He stared at his screen and the screen went black. It went to voicemail. Right as he was going to call back, the screen lit up once again. He quickly pressed accept. “Buck Diaz,” he said.
“Mr. Diaz, Christopher is complaining of a stomach ache. He looks a little pale. Is there anyone who can pick him up to take him home?”
Oh thank God. “Ye–Yes, yeah. I’m at work right now, but a Carla Price will probably be up there to pick him up.” Oh, he was definitely going to have to pay her more with how much he had been relying on her for everything.
“Okay. I had someone write it down.” And they hung up. Even though it was just a stomach ache, the ache in Buck’s chest didn’t go away. His heart still felt like it was twisted in a thousand different directions and his ears were still ringing. And he felt bile rise in the back of his throat.
He banged on the door. “Pull over, please!” He was going to throw up and he really didn’t want to do it in the back of the engine with everybody else witness. There was no move to pull over, so he banged on the door louder. “Pull over!” He held his hand over his mouth.
Finally, they pulled over to the side of the road and he opened the door, emptying his stomach as soon as he was out in the fresh air. He was bent over with his hands resting on his knees and his head hung between his shoulders. He took in a deep breath to try to calm himself down. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He didn’t even notice that the others were out with him until there was a soothing hand rubbing across his back. Next thing he knew, a bottle of water was being shoved into his hand. He took a big sip, swooshed it around his mouth before spitting it out. He did that a couple of more times before actually drinking the water. The water settled horribly in his stomach, but he ignored it. He had better things to do.
“Bobby,” he said, not even knowing if Bobby was standing out on the side of the road with them. “Something happened, can someone come to the station until the end of my shift?” He had only a few more hours left until his shift was supposed to be over, so he assumed that it would be okay for Chris to come by the station until then. “I’ll be man behind for any other calls we get, if that’s okay.”
“Sure, Buck. That’s okay.” Bobby’s voice was soft and soothing.
“Thanks.”
He quickly called Carla to update her and ask if she could bring him by the station, and that he was so sorry for bothering her with anything. She shut that down real quick and agreed to pick Christopher up from school. After the call, he clambered back in the engine where the rest of them were. They were already looking at him as he got situated. “What?”
“Are you okay?” Ravi asked. Buck was shocked because Ravi tried to stay out of the crew’s business. Buck had to admit that they had a lot of drama regarding their lives, but that was what made it so much fun.
“Yeah, of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Huh, I wonder,” Chimney said sarcastically. “Maybe because you threw up not even ten minutes ago?”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
They got back to the station before Carla and Christopher, which was expected with how far the school was from the station. So, Buck went to the kitchen to get a start on some sort of lunch that Christopher could stomach. If his stomach was hurting, then that meant that his son probably skipped lunch. There were certain things Chris would eat when his stomach was bothering him, so Buck was pulling all of the ingredients out when Bobby sat in one of the bar chairs. Buck, being an idiot, ignored him in favor of setting the ingredients down and grabbing a pot. He was going to make soup!
“Listen,” Bobby started, and he sounded oh so disappointed. Buck’s heart clenched. He hated that. “I don’t know what’s going on, kid, but you’re going to have to calm down on calls if you want to continue attending them.”
Buck’s head shot up at those words. Confused, he asked, “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, you can’t continue to be reckless like that, Buck, or you are going to get hurt.”
All the stress from the past week was weighing on him as Bobby spoke, and he couldn’t help but scoff when Bobby was done. “I’m the one who is going to get hurt? There was someone on that crane dying, Bobby, and nobody was doing a single damn thing! You wanna talk about me getting hurt? How about these firefighters getting targeted? I couldn’t do something about that, but I can do something on these calls. And if I can, I will.”
A number of emotions went across Bobby’s face. “If you continue to be reckless, you will be one of those firefighters shot. And if you are, that will be on me.”
Buck’s breath hitched. He knew, logically, that Bobby had a point. He knew that he had a husband and son to think about. But when he felt so helpless, everything went away and his mind would go blank. He wasn’t a father or a husband in those moments– he was a fourteen year old boy doing a song and dance for his parent’s attention.
Instead of saying anything smart, though, Buck said, “You think I don’t know that? You seriously think I don’t know that when my husband was the first firefighter shot? When my son doesn’t even know if Dad is going to come home, I have to try to stay hopeful while he still hasn’t woken up?” Buck’s breath was coming in short bursts, starting to get heavier. He could feel his eyes tearing up, but he blinked them away. He would not cry. Not right now.
Bobby’s eyes widened ever so slightly. “Wha–” He got cut off by the sound of crutches against the concrete floor. Buck shook his head and headed down the stairs where he knew his son was going to be.
Carla was holding his backpack as Christopher was leaning to one side. Buck crouched down in front of his son. “Oh, my baby.” He swept his hand through Christopher’s curls, letting his hand linger on his forehead a second longer than normal. He was a little warmer than normal, but nothing to worry about. “Are you okay?”
Instead of responding, Christopher dropped his crutches and wrapped his arms around Buck’s neck. Buck stood up and scooped him into his arms and held tightly. He rubbed circles on Chris’ back. He turned to Carla and grabbed the bag with one hand before quickly bringing it back to his son. “Thank you,” he said, voice cracking.
She shook her head, a small smile on her face. “Just as I said before, Buck. No need to thank me.” And then she was gone.
They let Christopher come on the calls that weren’t emergencies. In between calls or in the engine, Christopher talked everyone’s ears off, telling stories about the zoo or museums, and about his dads. At the mention of Eddie, Hen and Chim glanced at him before locking into what Christopher was saying. As he watched his friends and son interact, his heart grew three sizes. He just wished that Eddie was there to enjoy it with him.
“So,” Hen said, sitting beside Buck on the couch. Christopher was at the table finally eating the soup he had made. Bobby and Chimney were sitting with him, chattering away. Every once in a while, a high giggle will sound throughout the station, bringing a smile to Buck’s face.
“So.”
“You have a son?” She sounded confused. And by the tone of her voice Buck knew that she was dying to ask more.
He sighed and looked back at his favorite person chowing down on warm soup. He watched as Christopher lit up at something that was mentioned, and the way he threw his head back when he laughed. Yeah, he had a son, and his son was the light of his life. “Yep,” he said casually, nodding. “I have a son.”
“And he’s mentioned his dad? Are you with his mom?” She shifted beside Buck before completely settling down on the couch. She leaned back against it and sighed.
Buck shook his head. “Nope,” he said, “I’m with his dad.”
“Oh!”
Buck turned and looked at her. He raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
Hen chuckled. “Yeah, oh. I wasn't actually expecting you to be married. You never mentioned anything about it. I always thought that you were okay with having no romantic relationships after Abby.”
“What? Abby?” Buck was confused at the mention of his old friend. What did Abby have to do with any of this?
Hen looked somehow even more confused than when the conversation started. “Your ex-girlfriend?”
Buck blinked at her a couple of times before he busted out laughing. It was one of his first real laughs since everything went down. “Hen,” he said, slapping his knee. “She was a friend. Yes, she got my number from dispatch but when I told her I was married, that was that. We became friends and she introduced me to Carla. We did, however, stop talking after her mom died. It sucked, but oh well. Life moves on.”
Hen gaped at him. She was almost starting to resemble a fish. “Why didn’t you mention being married then?”
He shrugged. “Eddie had just been honorably discharged and was home recovering while I was in the academy. Then I came here and he went to the academy. He went to the 133. I figured too much time had passed to mention that I had a husband and kid, and that I had for a while already.” He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, soaking in the warmth that the people inside of Station 118 brought. He loved these people. They were his family. He would choose them over and over.
“Eddie, your husband?” She sounded hesitant, which was a first for her. “You said he was with the 133, so was he the one who was–?” She cut herself off.
Buck opened his eyes and let his head fall to the side. He nodded. “Yeah, he was the one who got shot. When Captain Mehta said that a firefighter was done, deep down I knew it was him. Then I saw him on the news, then I got the call from the hospital.”
“Well,” Hen took a deep breath, “I hope to meet him sometime. Your son is absolutely wonderful. We should definitely get him and Denny together.”
Buck cracked a smile at that. “Deal.”
The next couple of days went smoothly with the 118 knowing about Eddie and his son. Eddie got moved to a different room, finally, but he still wasn’t waking up. The doctors didn’t seem too worried, though, so Buck tried not to be. Christopher was ecstatic when he found out that he could finally go and see his dad in the hospital.
If anyone asked, Buck definitely did not cry when Christopher carefully crawled into bed and rested his head on Eddie’s good shoulder. And he definitely didn’t have to leave the room when Christopher started updating Eddie about how life had been going those past couple of weeks.
Now, it was just a waiting game. Everyone was holding their breath, waiting for Eddie to wake up.
Buck and Bobby are sitting in lawn chairs in Buck’s backyard while Christopher and Denny play. Christopher has one of his special dinosaur toys while Denny has a superhero figurine. The dinosaur and superhero are fighting. The superhero is winning. Christopher, however, looks happy. It was like sunshine took form right there in the backyard of Buck and Eddie’s house.
“I know you didn’t tell me the way you wanted to, but thank you for telling me,” Bobby said. Buck looked over and noticed that Bobby’s eyes were tracking Christopher as he walked in circles.
Buck looked away. He couldn’t deal with the emotions he was feeling at two in the afternoon. “Yeah,” he shrugged. “Definitely wasn’t even in the top ten ways I could have told you, but I’m glad I did. If I didn’t then I never would have.”
“Do you want to tell me about him?”
And Buck did. Buck really wanted to. So he did. He told Bobby everything– about how they first met, how they were friends with underlying tension, Shannon, the divorce, the military. Everything. The whole time Bobby was smiling or frowning, but he was paying attention. He was giving his input when he felt needed it, and he stayed silent during emotional moments. It felt nice, bragging about Eddie to someone who will listen. It felt amazing to talk about how amazing of a father Eddie was, how good he treat Buck. How much he loved Christopher and Buck, and anybody else in his life. How they were thinking about another child, maybe. All of it.
It was nice to be recognized as an in love and married man.
It was a day later when Buck got the call from the hospital. Eddie was awake and asking for him. Buck was on shift but as soon as he let Bobby know what was going on, he was a bat out of hell. He made it to the hospital, this time, with very little traffic laws broken. He went to the front desk and started bouncing on the balls of his feet when nobody showed up.
He was close to rapping his knuckles against the counter when a young lady popped up. “Mr. Diaz!”
He nodded. “Yes. I got a call that my husband was awake?” He was anxious to see him. There was a tug on his heart, and he knew where he would end up if he followed it. Right where Eddie was.
“Yes, he is. You are free to go se–” Buck didn’t let her finish her sentence before he was already walking away to find Eddie’s room. Christopher and him had been multiple times over the past few days, so Buck knew the way like it was the back of his hand. It didn’t take long before he was standing in front of the door.
A couple weeks ago, what was standing in front of Buck and Eddie was a bullet. Now, it was just a door. And Buck was the one who had to open it.
But he was scared. What if it was a fluke? What if Eddie didn’t actually wake up, but the doctors and nurses thought he did? What if he walked in there and, somehow, Eddie was in worse shape? He knew there was a very low chance of that, but he couldn’t help but worry. Eddie had been shot.
With a deep, calming breath, Buck turned the doorknob and pushed open the door. And there he was. Eddie was propped up against his pillows with his right arm in a sling. His hair was tussled and despite being in a medically induced coma, he had dark circles. He was alive. He was alive and the most beautiful thing Buck had ever laid eyes on.
Buck couldn’t help the gasp that left his mouth as he sank down to his knees, one hand still on the doorknob. “Eddie,” he cried. Because that was Eddie. His precious, beautiful Eddie. Eddie who was the other half of Buck’s heart. “Eddie.”
“Buck.” His voice was hoarse from disuse but it was the most comforting thing Buck had ever heard. It was proof. Proof that Eddie was alive.
Shakily, Buck stood to his feet and then promptly collapsed onto the bed, mindful of Eddie’s injuries. “Eddie,” he cried again, tears blurring his vision and his shoulders shaking from how hard he was starting to cry.
“Buck, baby, I’m okay.” A hand softly went through Buck’s curls. A move he did often to Christopher, but something Eddie did often to Buck. That made him sob even harder. “I promise, I’m okay.”
“You asshole!” Buck exclaimed, hiccups breaking up his sentence. “When I tell you to be safe, I mean it!”
That pulled a small laugh out of Eddie. “I know, sweetheart. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you or Christopher.”
“It’s not your fault, Eds.” Buck wiped at his face with the back of his hands. He was definitely going to have to get Christopher from school to see his dad. Speaking of, “Christopher is okay. He was worried, yes, but he’s been okay. He made a new friend.”
All tension that was still holding Eddie’s shoulders up seeped out at the mention of Chris being okay. He was still running his fingers through Buck’s curls. “A new friend?”
Buck paused. Shit. “Yeah,” he started, “Hen’s son, Denny. I may or may not have told them about you. So they’re definitely going to want to meet you.”
Eddie just hummed in response. He was probably getting tired. Buck lifted his head and looked at his husband. And…yep, definitely tired. With a small smile on his face, Buck leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Eddie’s lips. He murmured against them, “I love you so much.” Then he pulled back and brought a hand up to Eddie’s face and cupped it, rubbing a thumb over his cheekbone. “I don’t think you understand just how much I love you, Eddie Diaz. There is so much love that I don’t know what to do with it half of the time. I don’t know what I would do without you, so please don’t make me do it.”
Eddie nuzzled into Buck’s palm. He peeked up at him through his eyelashes. Fuck. “I love you, too, Buck Diaz. And I won’t.”
After that, Buck got Christopher and they all sat in the tiny hospital room laughing and crying. Christopher was updating his dad on everything that happened the past couple of weeks. And when Buck said everything, he meant everything.
Recovery was going to be long and hard. There were going to be days that would seem absolutely impossible to overcome. They knew that, but it was fine. If anything, this has proven how they will always be there through thick and thin. Even during the worst days, Buck knew that he would stay. He wouldn’t even dare to think of leaving. He would break in two at even the mere thought.
He also knew that the 118 would be there, whether he asked or not. That was family. And Buck couldn’t be happier with the one he was with. Especially as he watched Christopher climb into bed with Eddie and Eddie tug Christopher to his chest, hooking his chin over the young boy’s head.
Yeah, they were going to be okay.