Chapter Text
It had been on his mind ever since he learned of it – Living rent free in his head.
He had discovered it accidentally when scouting out the hostile mobs of the nether. Anything to gain the upper hand when dealing with the nether’s inhabitants. How blazes never strayed from their group and preferred to stick together, to how far away you could lure striders toward you. Most of the mobs in this dimension were easy to get information on, with one exception; Piglins.
They too stuck together when out on hunting trips, but it was the bastions that were keeping them safe that made it tricky to get close to them. Their reluctance on speaking to any other mob made information hard to gather, even if bribed with gold, but he managed to find cracks in the walls big enough for him to sneak in. To observe with his own eyes. He didn’t want to rely on the information he’d traded in case they were lies, or more likely with the language barrier; a miscommunication. (One piglin had claimed nether wart was edible. It wasn't)
He got to see how they went with their daily lives, living in a community similar to humans. They hunted for food, provided for their young, made tools and weapons. Really, the only difference between the piglins and the humans was their environment and the presence of instincts.
That thought changed last time he visited the bastion. Gone was the usual traffic by the gate. They were no longer manning their trading stalls, or training with their weapons. He had spotted their young kept away from the bigger parts of the bastion with caretakers making sure they didn't bother the others. It was then he learned about the heats and ruts.
Most of the piglins had gathered in one location and went at it with each other with an animalistic frenzy. It was like they had infinite energy fucking over and over again with no real pause until they either passed out, or out of necessity had to take a food break.
Instead of leaving when he discovered their orgy, his morbid curiosity had him sneak closer to observe. He told himself it was to gather more information, his twitching dick begged to differ. He got close enough to notice that their anatomy didn’t resemble pigs like he first thought. It was closer to humans. The females only had one set of breasts, and the males had big cocks that inflated when they came. They all acted like they would combust if they didn’t get to fuck, and even with the language barrier, he could tell they were resorting to begging if it didn’t happen fast enough.
The memories kept him up several nights. He couldn't help wondering how it would be to be involved with something like that. For someone to beg him to breed them over and over again – to beg for his cock. He started imagining one of them under him, and when the helpful memory of his rival offhandedly mentioning hybrids had instinct too, he started imagining Technoblade in that state. How would it even be? Did he turn into a sex addict like his ancestors? It didn’t help that he found the man attractive either.
He will admit he was getting a bit desperate since it was those thoughts that led him to this moment.
“HEH?!”
“Just answer the question”
It didn’t matter that they were in the middle of a spar, he had to know. “Do hybrids get heats like piglins do?”. Techno seemed conflicted between lunching at him to continue the spar or leave all together. “Bruh, we– we’re in the middle of a spar, and you wanna know private information? Take a mans’ out to dinner first”
It didn’t matter what kind of situation his rival was in, he always went straight to joking about it. He could do that too “I’ll trade you a gold bar for it”. The pinkette lowered his sword in what could only be described as utter disbelief “Bruuuuuuh”.
They stared at each other for a second too long. He was about to backtrack or change the subject when Techno spoke first “Chat’s right, you’re kinda lame for wanting to trade a single gold bar – A fool. At least offer an enchanted g’apple”. He forgot his rival heard voices, again, but he’s spent enough time with him to know that was more of a suggestion than a straight up joke. An expensive suggestion, and Techno knew it. The question was more about how far he was ready to go for that information.
He’s far more desperate than he thought. “I might have one to offer”.
“Cool, cool. Uh. Why do you even want that to begin with? Chat, am I being scammed right now? Is there something I don’t know about this?”. Putting his shield and axe away in his inventory, they weren’t really sparring anymore anyway, he put down his enderchest and fished out the enchanted golden apple he managed to find last month. Not really worth trading it away for a simple yes or no question, but he was too stubborn to back down now.
He held it up in front of him to get his attention back “Do we have a deal?”.
It’s not often he gets to see hesitation from his rival, even if it only lasted a second before the man took the apple and held it up to confirm it was in fact an enchanted golden apple – that this was actually happening. “Alright. Uh”. Techno opened the enderchest and put the apple away before really looking at him again for any ulterior motives “Kinda personal information and all that. But yes, that. Uh. That can happen”.
What was that supposed to mean “‘Can happen’?”. Even with an answer, he still manages to not fully answer the question. “Yup”. “Techno. I just paid you an enchanted golden apple for a ‘can happen’”. He could see the shit eating smug smile his rival was trying to hide. “I don’t know what you want out of me. You asked a question and that was the answer. Not my problem, you paid for it”.
Dream dragged a hand over his mask “You’re insufferable”. Techno gave in and laughed at his misery. He is thinking over the situation while the other calms down “What does it feel like?”.
“Bruuuuuh. Is this your new obsession? Bothering others about their sex life? Kinda cringe not gonna lie” Again with not answering the questions “Well screw me for wanting to understand something others might go through”.
He was expecting another joke or retort, but to his surprise the pinkette actually considered his words. Techno let out a big breath and took a seat on a log off to the side “It’s just instincts– kinda hurts, It’s not fun”. “Hurts?” Techno just shrugged, The mental image of two piglins connected together by an inflated cock supplied what might hurt. The image might also be the sole reason he uttered his next dooming words “I could spend your next heat with you”.
“HEH???” Is that blushing he is seeing?
“Dream. Do you– Do you even know what you are suggesting here? What that would even mean? Think of my monetisation". He's been imagining it for too many late nights “A lot of rough sex, yes”. “No, Dream you don't understand. I mean, yes that too, but… you just asked to have sex with me…”. He was aware. He was going to think about how that might change their rivalry later, but right now– “And you haven’t answered. What. Are you afraid you might enjoy it so much that you won’t stop thinking of me even if you’d score with a piglin?”
“Bruuuuuh. That doesn't even– You know what. Fine. If you’re so sure about this, I’ll send you a message when it starts”. Techno stands up and is about to leave when he seems to remember something “You, uh. You do know it lasts for several days though, right?”. “Oh I’m fully aware. I know a few things about it, even that piglins calls it mating”.
“ Oh . Uhhh. I wasn’t kidding about the ‘taking me to dinner’ part first. So – you’re responsible for the food for the rut”.