Chapter Text
“Wait!”
He doesn’t know why he just did that, but before he realizes it, his hand is wrapped around her wrist, pulling her back toward him.
When she turns around to look at him, she’s frowning, and her face is awfully red.
His first thought is that she’s mad at him. Why wouldn’t she be?
At best, she has feelings for him, and he is taking way too long to reciprocate—if he ever does.
At worst, he’s got it all wrong; she doesn’t have feelings for him, and she can’t wait to get out of there and never speak to him again.
Azuma’s not like that, though. He’s had every proof that she isn’t. She’s shown him, through so many words and actions over the span of years, that she wasn’t—and still isn’t—that kind of person.
“I’m always rooting for you!” she’d said one time before dozing off on the train.
When Taira’s memories run rampant in his mind, it’s usually to remind him of how and why he will never be good enough—good enough for his friends, good enough for a girlfriend, good enough for anyone, really.
Lately, though, his memories—and even his dreams at night—have been filled with her. Everything she’s ever done for him. Every kind word. The sticker she gave him on his birthday when no one else seemed to remember. The chewing gum she gave him on Valentine’s Day. Her advice about his eyebrows that day at the train station, when he thought she was mocking him and she was just being kind, trying to be a friend.
Every corner of his mind, every memory it suddenly bumps into while he’s looking at her now, every thought… they’re all suddenly about her, and Taira speaks before he can even wrap his mind around the words that are about to come out of his mouth.
“Can we…” He hesitates for a second. Her face is turning redder by the second, and her lips are shaking. It almost makes him feel like he should be anywhere but here.
“Can we still hang out after graduation?”
The words have finally come out, and it takes a second before Azuma reacts.
It feels like an eternity to Taira, though, and it’s enough for him to work himself into a frenzy of self-doubt.
He’s already silently beating himself up about the entirety of it when he hears it.
A groan.
Azuma just groaned. At him.
“I can’t take this anymore!”
His eyes are wide open. He’s looking at her in pure confusion. Did he actually just mess everything up? Did he imagine everything?
Oh God… he did, didn’t he? He made it all up in his mind. She doesn’t actually have feelings for him. It was all an act, wasn’t it? She didn’t have much of a choice but to be nice to him since they’ve been running in the same circle in high school, but now… it’s all over, isn’t it?
Of course it is.
He knows exactly how this is going to go from here. She’ll tell him she finds him exhausting to deal with. She’ll explain the many ways in which he has been annoying over the past couple of years, and then she’ll probably run to tell their friends about it so they can finally see him for who he really is.
He had a good run in high school for as long as it lasted. He should be grateful it even lasted this lo—
“I like you!”
Her voice is the lowest he’s ever heard her speak.
Her eyes are closed, and her face is even redder than before. Her fists are clenched, and she’s standing as straight as a stick, almost as if she’s bracing for something.
“I like you, Taira,” Azuma repeats, a little louder this time, as if she’s suddenly found some strength to draw from.
His eyes never leave her face.
He’s been looking at her the whole time, watching her reactions one after the other.
He’s stunned.
Out of all the things he expected her to say, this definitely wasn’t on his list.
He watches her open her eyes again. He notices the moment they settle back on his face and how hers continues to grow red. He wonders whether he should be worried for her, but he knows he’s just trying to distract himself from the matter at hand.
She. Likes. Him.
He gulps because he has no idea what to say, and even if he did, he can’t trust himself to function properly and actually get the words out.
She. Likes. Him.
He has barely just wrapped his mind around the whole friendship thing. He talked himself into trusting it—trusting her—about ten minutes ago, and now, all of a sudden, he’s expected to… what? Date her? Be her boyfriend?
“Huh?”
It’s the only sound Taira manages.
His hand is still wrapped around her wrist, though. He can’t seem to let go, and it doesn’t look like Azuma is trying to get away either.
“I like you a lot,” she repeats for the third time, “and I don’t want to hang out with you after graduation.”
Huh?
He’s confused because what does that even mean?
She likes him but she doesn’t want to like him so she doesn’t want to see him anymore?
He hopes this is as confusing as it ever gets because he isn’t sure he’ll be able to take on more.
“Not if it’s just as friends.”
Oh.
“Tazuma!”
He lets go of her wrist as soon as he hears it.
Suzuki’s voice. Calling for them.
Azuma’s arm falls flat at her side, and she quickly looks away.
He wonders what it is he sees in her eyes right now.
Is she hurt? Or maybe embarrassed?
Is she perhaps… ashamed? To be seen with him?
Taira lightly shakes his head. He can’t let his thoughts go there—not after what Azuma has just told him.
I like you, Taira.
He’s never really felt hatred towards anyone in his life, but right now, he feels like he could hate Suzuki for interrupting whatever was about to happen.
And what exactly was about to happen?
He feels like he needs to ask himself that, because how exactly would he have responded had Suzuki not interrupted them?
Taira can’t hear himself think anymore, though, because along with Suzuki follows the whole gang, chatting, laughing, bantering, and soon enough, Azuma is pulled away by Nabe and Sato. He vaguely hears them asking her why her face is all red, but he’s quickly pulled away as well—Yamada and Suzuki pestering him about joining them later because they made plans to gather with the whole group one last time before some of them have to leave town.
“We’ll meet at the karaoke place at seven!”
For a second, Taira considers simply not going. It’s the option he automatically defaults to most of the time.
I like you, Taira.
Her voice echoes in his ears again.
He takes a quick glance in her direction. She looks flustered, still.
Taira can’t not go.
He will go.
And he’ll make sure to have a proper answer for Azuma by the end of the night.