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Gary balled his hands into fists, letting out a shaky exhale.
There was no way this was truly happening. He hoped it was nothing but a weird dream, one he would eventually wake from. Maybe he just smoked a tad too much last night, maybe that’s what it was. Yeah, it would be easier to look at the events that currently took place as a result of a drug-induced sleep, not as something that had any potential to be real.
But the music around him was too loud to belong in a dream, loud enough to rupture Gary’s eardrums if he didn’t step to the side in the next few minutes. The scents lingering in the air, mixing with each other, couldn’t have been a product of Gary’s fantasy as well – not a single human on Earth could possibly imagine a cocktail of aromas so wild, so contrasting. Gary’s head started to hurt, the brain sending a sharp pang of pain to his temple. He should most definitely get away from here as soon as possible.
The only problem was that Gary couldn’t move. His arms stiffened, his legs lost their ability to function. The biggest miracle was that his lungs and heart continued to work, but Gary had a nauseating feeling that this wouldn’t last too long either. He could only describe the feeling he had as that of a fall; an endless, long fall that made his insides turn to jelly more and more as time went by.
And he was on the verge of tears.
Gary Barkovitch, the pain in the ass of everyone who knew him, the most insufferable person ever, the one who could turn the life of every human he encountered into living hell, was about to cry. Perhaps there was karma somewhere in this cruel world, even if it functioned not in the way Gary wanted it to.
The bitch should’ve been more selective with her victims, Gary thought with a twinge of childish resentment. Yes, he was a bad person, but who wasn’t? Everyone fucked up at least once in their lives, but they sure as hell didn’t receive a punishment like this. If anything, the fucker who screwed him over deserved it more, but for some reason, Gary was the one propping up the wall of the shittiest club he’s ever seen. Hell, Gary didn’t even like clubs. Never was a big party guy at all, so why on Earth did he agree to all of this?
Because you actually liked him, a voice whispered; a tiny, nagging imp that was always present in the back of his mind, otherwise known as consciousness. Because you liked him and let him use you.
Well, yes, maybe Gary actually did like the guy. It wasn’t like he was crazy about him, but Paxton was good-looking, charming, smart, and probably the only person Gary knew whose name could rival his own in stupidness. He didn’t have to worry about being named Gary while dating someone called Paxton, did he? And well, Paxton was funny, too, at least until he went and did this thing Gary didn’t even want to give a name to.
Because Gary Barkovitch did not get ghosted.
He was hated, detested, despised, loathed, cursed out, and whatnot. People wished he just vanish from their lives, but he was like a thorn, stuck a bit too deep. Never in his twenty-two years of living on this wretched planet was he ghosted or ignored, not even once. So maybe that’s why Paxton’s actions hurt even more than they reasonably should.
Because what other reasons were there? If Gary was being honest, no one paid any attention to him, so he needn’t be afraid of looking stupid. Everyone was too busy enjoying the company of their handsome partners to even look at a stupid loser like him. So yeah, one problem less.
The other, bigger problem was still there, though. Gary’s clothes didn’t miraculously turn into his favorite well-worn t-shirt and a pair of jeans. The fabric of a tight, disgustingly light-pink dress still clung to him, as if choking him and depriving him of the last bit of air this damned place could grant. Not that there was much space to breathe to begin with, but now, with bodies slithering and grinding against each other, packed in like sardines, Gary felt near damn claustrophobic. The dress was a size too small, but he had no time to send it back. After all, how bad could it be?
Turns out, it could be simply abominable.
The dress was a frankly comical sight, especially on Gary’s lanky frame. He supposed it could fit someone else pretty nicely – after all, it looked gorgeous on the model – but not him. Guys weren’t supposed to wear dresses at all, and Gary should’ve stuck to the rule. Only this one time, he decided to grant himself the freedom to experiment – and look where it led him. No more experiments for him, not with dresses, not with anything.
Paxton insisted on buying it. It was all his fault, from the beginning till the very end. It was him who saw that one tweet and immediately sent it to Gary with the “i think you would rock this” caption; it was him who planted that stupid seed of doubt in Gary’s head, that maybe it’s alright for a dude to wear a dress. What wasn’t alright for a dude was showing up to a damn Valentine’s Day party like this. Hell, Gary even curled his hair and touched up his lips with a lipstick of a matching shade, just as sickeningly pink as the dress itself.
The worst part was, surprisingly, at the back. At the front, the dress looked like nothing special, just a simple corset, flattering enough for someone with a nice waist that Gary didn’t have. The back part, though… A cherry on top, that’s what Paxton called it. The finishing touch, that very thing this dress lacked to become a fully-fledged masterpiece. A simple heart cut situated right in his lumbar area with edges formed from a thicker material that dug right into Gary’s skin, to remind him that the stupid detail was still there at all times.
As if Gary could forget that either way. Paxton was foaming at the mouth at the prospect of seeing Gary wear the dress in public, just because of the damn cut. He researched the brand, ordered the dress himself, even paid for it, and not even for a second did Gary doubt his genuine interest in the matter. The way Paxton looked at him when Gary bared his lower back allowed no space for such thoughts. Or maybe Paxton was just too good an actor, and Gary forgot what it was like – to be wanted – a long time ago.
It didn’t matter, though. Because Paxton invited him to spend Valentine’s Day together, and Gary accepted. Because Gary let himself hope this would lead somewhere. Because Paxton dared him to step out of his comfort zone, and Gary did, and Paxton didn’t fucking show up. Just left him there, among all those people that had every right to ridicule him, point fingers at him, and call him a dumb faggot, because that’s precisely what Gary was all along.
But he would’ve appreciated at least a bit of support from the person he genuinely liked, even if they never put a label on it.
Now, though, Paxton didn’t even answer his messages and calls. Gary stopped trying good twenty minutes ago, after seeing that his efforts seemed to lead nowhere. It was hard to wait there for an hour, tormenting himself with the thoughts of worst scenarios imaginable, just to see one of them come true. He was alone. Paxton didn’t come. He wasn’t late, or sick, or in a traffic jam, or somewhere else. Maybe he was at home, relaxing on his couch, or with someone else at another club. That didn’t matter because he wasn’t here. And Gary was, and he was a mistake, a brainless moron, and he deserved every bit of whatever was happening to him.
Well, if that wasn’t a positive way of thinking. He should go and drown his sorrows in a glass of wine or something like that.
Only Gary hated wine, and he hated wailing, and he hated being so damn pathetic. He really should have left a long time ago, but no, even as this thought swirled around in his mind, his feet made no effort to move towards the exit. Gary was so shaken that he didn’t even remember which way the exit was; that’s how bad he had it.
But seriously, there was only so much time he could spend sulking. There was only one thing Gary hated more than public humiliation, and that was being frozen in place. A bad action was always better than the absence of action, and if Gary left his fears behind and actually went out there, he might have had a chance of being noticed. It didn’t even matter how he would be noticed – in a wow way or in a get out of my face way – Gary just was too fed up with being ignored.
He made the first step, tentative and careful, feeling the dress shift together with his skin, like the two were glued together. Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt – at least not in the way merging with fabric would hurt – and so Gary made a second step, this time bolder. A few heads turned to him, but they turned away just as fast. Okay, this wasn’t as scary as he imagined. He could do it.
Gary already had his eyes trained on the bar. On the barman, in fact – a huge guy, one of those you most often see hurling bales at the farm, not dancing with a bottle of coconut rum at the bar. It was no wonder Gary noticed him so fast; people like him were natural magnets to the other’s attention. There was no friendly smile on his face, and he wasn’t chatting with the customers like other bartenders normally did – no small talk or stuff like that – but there sure was a small crowd surrounding the bar counter. Maybe they were waiting for the barman’s attention, maybe they were just waiting for their drinks – who was Gary to judge? He was heading there for the same reason, anyway. The bar was getting closer with each step. Gary was pretty sure he did a decent job of setting his footwork straight, and his hypothesis was supported when more people started glancing back at him. Some of them were single, with no partner in sight, and judging by the looks, Gary felt a small ember of hope ignite in him. Maybe, just maybe, he won’t spend the night alone. Surely, dancing with a loved one is much nicer, but just getting laid isn’t that bad. He should take what he could at this point.
“Ouch!” A voice startled him. Gary didn’t even have the time to pinpoint where the voice came from, or focus on the way it sounded – he just caught that it was low and deep, with a touch of huskiness. Maybe the guy was a smoker. “Watch where you’re going, you, fucking dipshit!”
Gary shook his head in bewilderment. Only then did he realize that he almost knocked the guy down, or maybe it was the guy who almost sent him flying. Anyway, an apology was in order. But the guy wasn’t going to apologize, not if his voice, haughty and aggressive, was anything to go by, so why should Gary do it? He raised his head, bold and resolute, full of determination to give the stranger the taste of his own medicine. Who did he think he was, talking to Gary like that…?
Gary blinked in surprise, not expecting to see fucking Apollo standing right in front of him, maybe far too close.
Of course, the stranger was no god, but did he look like one! He was no Apollo, either – Gary always imagined Apollo to have a short, unkempt mane of blond hair, surrounding his head like a halo, but the man in front of him was the total opposite of Apollo’s image. And yet, Gary couldn’t help but feel the physical glow he exuded. Maybe the lights in the club did wonders for his face, but Gary found it hard to believe the sole illumination could change someone’s face so much, make someone look near damn ethereal – so this must be what this guy looks like on a daily basis. His hair was styled neatly, that’s for damn sure, and Gary didn’t need to guess that his mouth was painted with lipstick, and his burgundy shirt with a black blazer thrown on top of it was far too elegant to be his casual wear, but still. Ruffle his hair and lick off the lipstick, take away his pompous clothing – and he would still remain the most gorgeous man Gary has ever seen.
“Watch where you’re going,” Gary hissed. “And whom are you calling dipshit. Did you look in the mirror?”
How on Earth was Gary supposed to handle the conversation with him? Even if he managed to get past a few words, he would still ruin everything in the end. Gary fumbled much less handsome guys, not to mention someone like this. It was better to push him away with rude remarks so that he wouldn’t even think about wasting his time on Gary, seeing as this would lead nowhere anyway.
“I did,” the guy grumbled, finally sparing Gary a glance instead of looking somewhere past him. Oh, of course. Maybe he already had someone waiting for him. He most likely did. Gary smacked himself mentally. People like this dude are never single, what was he even thinking… “But looking here has proven to be much more interesting. Cute dress. Just make sure to stop building castles in the air while walking, alright? Wouldn’t want it to get all wrinkly, y’know.”
Gary blinked again. He thought there was a blush making its way onto his face despite his best attempts to stay cool, but he was too far gone to actually know that. He was flirting. This stunning, gorgeous man was flirting with Gary. Was it the dress? Was it the makeup? Was it his hairdo? What part of himself should Gary pay more attention to to make things like this keep happening?
“I…” Gary trailed off. “Uh, yeah. Wasn’t daydreaming, anyway. I was just heading for the bar, wanted to get something to drink. You up for joining me?”
Now, normally, Gary wasn’t this brazen. And he didn’t brush off someone calling him a dipshit so quickly, too. But today was Valentine’s Day, and there was no better time to be bold. He was rejected, humiliated, and maybe he’d spend the entire day crying tomorrow, but tonight… He had an opportunity to have a good time, and hell, Gary was going to seize it with both hands. Call him desperate, call him a slut, he wouldn’t care. Who wouldn’t be desperate for a guy like this?
The guy hummed, considering the offer. Fortunately, Gary needn’t wait for long – he would’ve simply gone mad otherwise – because the man spoke again soon, syrupy and enticing and so damn attractive. “Okay. You already know what you’re drinking?”
“No,” Gary replied. “I had never been to this place before. Don’t even know what they’ve got on the menu. What, you have any recommendations for me?”
The guy laughed, and Gary could sense his body temperature rising. His laugh was low, just like his standard voice, and that gorgeous smile adorning his face… Crooked, toothy, and wild, it had no right to be so sexy. But oh, it was, and Gary could do nothing against it. “I’d really want to be all suave and say yes, but I’m here for the first time as well. My friends dragged me here, wanted me to wind down, I guess. But the two of them are a thing, and I feel like a third wheel, so I needed to get away from them, and now I’m lost. Still better than ruining their special day, though. My name’s Collie, by the way.”
Gary took a deep breath, which, he hoped, went unnoticed. Not only was Collie magnificent, but he was kind and considerate as well. And okay, his name. Gary felt weird for focusing on details as small as this, but even his name sounded nice. Col-lie. Two syllables, simple as that, and yet something in him yearned to taste the name, to put it on his tongue, to roll ot over and over until it came out with a sharp exhale. “Collie. I’m Gary.”
He really wanted to add the nice to meet you bit, but that would’ve definitely been overkill. There was nothing wrong with letting Collie know he was a little bit interested, but Gary would rather die than give any indication as to what kind of thoughts were swiveling in his head in that moment.
“Pleased to meet you, Gary,” Collie offered, bending his body down in a jokeful bow. Gary almost swore. There was no way in hell Collie could actually read his thoughts, but one way or another, this guy was going to be the death of him. Maybe Gary should retain more control over his facial expressions. “Should we go? I’d hate to stay here for another second.”
Gary nodded. Together, they settled into a nice rhythm, managing to avoid bumping into someone inadvertently, but maybe it was just that Gary’s more focused on his surroundings right now. More precisely, on Collie. “Not a big fan of a crowd?”
Collie gave another laugh, shaking his head in a barely noticeable motion. Gary finally realized what Collie’s cackling reminds him of – those shiny sea glass pieces, reflecting light with their entire surface, each so colorful and so pretty. Gary loved to collect them when he was little, but now he might resurrect the old hobby of his in a slightly different form. Collie’s laughs instead of glasses. Gary was suddenly more resolute than ever. He was a man on a mission – to make Collie laugh as many times as possible. Every little snicker counts, because after all, they have just this night.
And this… Well, this was a much more dangerous territory than just getting laid. Do you get obsessed with someone’s laugh if you expect them to just fuck your brains out without any obligations? Gary wished he knew, but he really doesn’t. He had never been the one for casual relationships, the need to belong constantly gnawing at his brain. He always wanted something more, and maybe that’s where all the problems started. If Gary just learnt to be content with what he had, maybe… Maybe he wouldn’t end up in this situation.
“Hate it,” Collie answered, ripping Gary out of his thoughts, which he couldn’t help but be thankful for. “The place itself is nice, but the number of people isn’t for me at all. My friends don’t have any problems with that, though, so I didn’t protest. I’m happy when they’re happy, you know?”
Gary didn’t know. He never had someone he could actually call a friend, and not only because no one ever wanted to talk to him. That, too, for the most part, but some people did try to pull him into a conversation. The last one was Rank, his roommate, but their last encounter ended with Gary driving the guy to tears, so it was only a matter of time before Rank would give up on him. It would’ve been for the better, honestly, both for Gary and for Rank himself. That’s what Gary was the best at – keeping his guard up and repelling anyone who would dare to venture close.
With Collie, though, it was different. He seemed to hold no offense at the fact that Gary almost sent him toppling to the floor, and so Gary saw no point in picking at him any further. Sometimes, it really was that easy, and that made Gary crave something entirely different. Simple human contact. A person – or a few – that would check on him when he was rotting in his room for too long, or someone who wouldn’t flinch when he tried to show that he cared in the weirdest way he only knew how. Collie was inspiring something in him, and damn, Gary knew him for what, two minutes? What happened to people who talked to him for longer?
Gary caught himself wanting to stick around and find out.
“Me, too,” he added. “Don’t even know why I came here in the first place, honestly.”
Collie’s eyes widened. “You? – Sorry, I’ll go order us something. No places at the bar, unfortunately. What would you like? Or should I ask for the menu?”
“What?” Gary blinked. “No, no, I can come with you, it’s no problem. I have to pay for the drink anyway.”
“You don’t,” Collie replied calmly. “I mean, only if you really want to, but it would make me happy to do something for you.”
Gary’s face reddened. He hoped the lighting would conceal it, casting shades of crimson, sangria, and garnet, but his luck had already run out. Of course, Collie couldn’t be fooled that easily.
“Thought so,” he murmured. His mouth stretched out in a satisfied grin, and Gary felt a spike of desire to wipe it off Collie’s face with his lips. It wasn’t that Gary couldn’t look at it anymore – he could, and for a much longer time than he would care to admit – but each passing second thinned down his resolve even further, and it couldn’t be long until he blurted out something stupid. “So what can I get for you?”
“Uh,” Gary slurred, eloquent as always. “I think they serve caipirinhas here? If they don’t, just get me something to your taste.”
For a moment, Collie’s face gained that unreadable expression, but it was gone swiftly, even before Gary could start wondering if there was something wrong with his order. He thought caipirinha was a pretty neutral option; surely he couldn’t have been in error this time? But Collie said nothing. Instead, he bowed again – as a joke, of course – and turned his back to the bar. Gary lingered for a bit before settling onto one of the sofas, placing his purse – stupidly pink, of course – next to him. It was a little less crowded here, thanks to all the people who decided to take it to the dancefloor, but still, Gary could’ve used some more space to himself. A couple next to him was too caught up in each other, hands roaming and mouths seeking unmarked spots, so he dared to hope they would leave soon. Or at least faster than he would go crazy.
It couldn’t have been longer than twenty minutes when Collie returned – with two identical drinks in his hands, two gorgeous caipirinhas that looked like they belonged in a movie, not in this grim reality. The rims of the glasses were adorned with sugar, and glitter swirled on the bottom of both drinks. Gary took one from Collie’s hand with a grateful nod, brushing his fingers against Collie’s in a daring motion.
“To secure two spots in a sitting area? We must be the luckiest two guys on the planet,” Collie chuckled. Gary couldn’t help but agree. Maybe he bitched about the absence of luck before, but this couldn’t be described in any other way. He was sitting on a comfy sofa, about to sip on a delicious-looking drink in the company of perhaps the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen. Even if he had been dumped and his heart was broken, it didn’t matter anymore. Broken things could be repaired, only if you didn’t make haste to throw them in the trash bin immediately. “To a wonderful evening?”
“To a wonderful evening,” Gary echoed.
Their glasses clinked – a clear, harmonious sound, unusually loud even among all the chaos they were surrounded by. Collie took the first sip, closing his eyes at the taste and giving a soft moan of appreciation. “Wow, this… Tastes even better than it looks. Glad I trusted your taste.”
Gary shrugged. “Ain’t nothing wrong with ordering whatever you normally drink. I wouldn’t be offended.”
“Of course you wouldn’t,” Collie laughed. “But I figured I’d better show some respect after calling you a dipshit out of the blue.”
Gary swirled his glass, marvelling at the way ice jostles around, when suddenly his hand froze mid-motion. He opened his mouth, then closed it, realizing he couldn’t produce anything that won’t show how eager he was. Then opened it again, having decided that being eager was better than letting this shining, spectacular man go. Gary wanted to have him, even if for one night. All to himself. He wanted Collie to look at him and nobody else, even if Collie seemed to keep his eyes on Gary from the very moment they met. Better keep it that way, Gary concluded.
So there was no wonder his next phrase sounded whiny and petty and so damn needy, even to his own ears. “That’s what it is, huh? Just an apology?”
Just an apology was, frankly, an understatement of the century, because Gary couldn’t even recount a time someone apologized to him like this – not just a quick sorry breathed out without any meaning, without any actual remorse attached to it, but a proper, real apology, the one that shows how much Collie really regretted it – but the greedy beast in him had already reared its head, demanding what it yearned for the most. Closeness. Intimacy. Physical contact that would sate his hunger once and for all. Gary was dangerously sure Collie would fit him like a key fits the lock, and there was only one way to test if it was truly the case.
Collie cast his gaze on him then – a careful, almost shy attempt to probe the ground, to determine where they were currently standing. But Gary could feel himself burning under it all the same, even if Collie tried to be subtle with it – he just couldn’t. Subtle and Collie were two parallel planes, not even once intersecting. Collie was all about fiery intensity, about sharp, bold movements. He was about extremes, and he would burn anyone who couldn’t handle him. Only Gary was stuck in a desolate, cold desert for so long that fire was precisely what he ached for. He wanted warmth. He wanted heat.
Collie spoke carefully, choosing his words, but his eyes never left Gary. “It is an apology, to begin with. I spoke without thinking. Didn’t mean to offend you. Believe it or not, I usually don’t snap at people like that, even if they almost knock me to the ground. Guess you were just lucky. So yeah, I felt bad. But–” his gaze dropped, gliding along the edge of Gary’s corset, along the line where his breasts were supposed to be, where there were none. This thing wasn’t made for him, not even remotely, but Collie seemed to be of the opposite opinion. “I’d lie if I said you didn’t catch my eye. Dressed like that, with such a pretty face to match… I was surprised there wasn’t a crowd swirling around you.”
Gary swallowed. This was probably his last chance to back down, to burn the bridge and pretend this never happened. That there wasn’t any tension crackling between them, promising them something much better than just an exchange of heated gazes if they just gave in to the temptation. But he didn’t want to backtrack, and that’s what terrified him the most. He was ready to throw himself into the flame without any caution, even if he emerged scarred and horribly burnt afterwards. Gary already was gnarled, so what was there to lose?
“I’m not quite popular. I don’t know anyone here. I didn’t even want to come, but for some reason I did, and it turned out to be a disaster, but… I can’t say I regret this. Because I found something here. And I already told ya, I’m not a big fan of the crowd. Don’t need those people around me, rubbing their sweaty bodies and everything. Gross.”
“Yeah?” Collie prompted, holding his gaze. Daring Gary, challenging him to finish the thought. Gary felt the first bubbles of heat simmer low in his stomach. Jesus, he couldn’t get hard from flirting; that would’ve been simply mortifying. And yet, Collie didn’t leave him any chance. “What is it that you need, then?”
“You,” Gary rasped, licking his lips.
It wasn’t even an attempt at seducing – his mouth just started to feel incredibly dry out of nowhere – but it worked like a charm. As if signifying the chain reaction that just started, Collie licked his lips, too. The only difference was that Collie’s lips were moisturized, and Gary didn’t even need to taste them to know that it was true. But oh gods, did he want to.
“Wanna kiss you so much,” Collie panted.
His pupils were blown wide, his lips slightly opened, and overall, there was no mistaking his hunger. But Gary, in his heart, was nothing if not a tease, so he felt obliged to confirm the mutuality of their feelings. “Yeah?” he breathed. “So what’s stopping you?”
Only faintly, somewhere in the back of his mind, did Gary register the chinking of the glass being set on the table. He had just the tiniest fraction of a second to free his hands as well before Collie leaned in, ghosting his lips with his breath. He smelled of lime, of something sugary and almost overly sweet, and Gary, without second thought, crossed the line, clashing their mouths together.
Collie aimed for something gentle, profound, and full of feeling, Gary could tell – but this slowness couldn't satisfy him, so he egged Collie on by placing his hands on his shoulders. Gary squeezed, giving a moan of contentment at what he felt underneath his fingers. A bunch of muscles, solid and defined. He’d give a lot to see Collie without his shirt. Gary had no doubt Collie would pick him up easily, and every atom in his body demanded that he prove this theory.
Their eyes slid close pretty much that very moment the kiss started, but Gary didn’t need his vision to tell that Collie was smiling. His lips were stretched in that characteristic grin – his smile was always crooked, which might be Gary’s new favorite thing – and his tongue was flicking against Gary’s mouth in a wordless plea for entrance. But as much as Gary craved to hear Collie’s voice, he didn’t think he had it in him to pull away to grant Collie the space to actually speak. And there was no need for it anyway – Collie’s soft sighs and rabbiting pulse told Gary everything he needed to know.
Gary was just a man – a very horny man, he noted – and so he didn’t hope to resist Collie for long. His lips parted, allowing Collie’s tongue to slide inside, so seamlessly, so used to it, as if he did it a thousand times before and was going to do it again a thousand times in the future. Gary almost wanted to weep, because that wasn’t true. This was their first kiss, and one of the few. But he wasn’t about to think about the time he’d be forced to let Collie go, not when Collie was currently in his grasp.
Collie’s hands went to his waist, unsurprisingly – squeezing, stroking, probing, driving Gary mad with greedy, lust-fuelled movements. Gary wasn’t a fool; he could tell when someone was eyeing him with obvious desire, and the look Collie gave him right before diving into a kiss simply couldn’t be misinterpreted. He gave a moan of encouragement, hoping that Collie would pick up on it and touch him bolder – maybe apply a bit more pressure, maybe stroke him a bit lower, maybe let his hands travel to Gary’s back – and Collie, ever the gentleman, didn’t disappoint. His tongue was exploring Gary’s mouth with the same intensity his hands gripped his skin. It hurt, but the pain wasn’t unpleasant – it was that electrifying, maddening kind that left Gary breathless, yearning for more.
Collie broke the contact, and Gary couldn’t even add the word finally, because not a single part of him wanted to get away from Collie, from his hot, firm, steady body that shielded him like a wall. Gary felt small in his arms, but for once, this didn’t feel threatening. Everything in Collie’s touch promised safety and security, and Gary accepted it with arms open.
“Fuck,” Gary gasped, because the profanity was the only thing left on his mind. All the words escaped him, leaving only this – a shaky, whiny remark. “You’re killing me here, man.”
Collie gave a winded laugh. There was so much joy in it, so much satisfaction, that Gary found it bafflingly easy to believe that kissing him was all Collie wanted in that moment. “Hm, really?” Collie spoke. “Can’t have that, doll. Wouldn’t dare to destroy such a pretty thing.”
Gary shivered at the nickname, lifting his head defiantly, staring right into Collie’s eyes, darker than any cosmic void. “What if I want you to ruin me, hm?”
Something flickered in Collie’s gaze – so fast, so fleeting that Gary could’ve just imagined it all – and then Collie’s lips were back on his, hot and unyielding, just the way Gary remembered from mere seconds ago. It should’ve been shameful, but at this point, he couldn’t bring himself to care. Only a few moments without Collie kissing him felt like entire centuries, so minutes must’ve felt like an eternity. Gary found himself unwilling to know. He sighed into the kiss, feeling Collie’s hands drop lower, sending a shiver down his spine. Fuck, this felt so good. Better than it had any right to. Gary wanted to ravish him, to consume him whole until there was nothing left. This ardor burned him from the inside, and there was nothing that could quench it. He needed to get closer to Collie. Closer, closer, until not even an inch of his skin wasn’t touching Collie’s. Gary whined at the bite Collie landed on his lower lip, choosing this exact moment to get into his lap. Yes, this would’ve been perfect. Collie claiming him, taking what he wanted, and Gary yielding acquiescently, melting into his touch…
“Baby,” Collie breathed out, breaking the kiss. Gary almost whined at the loss, chasing contact, chasing warmth. At first, it seemed like Collie would give up and just grant him his wish, but the more time went by, the more unbelieving the expression on his face grew, the more he leaned away to look at Gary with wide, big eyes. “What’s that, hmm? What do you have there?”
Gary blinked, struggling to understand what Collie was talking about. He didn’t do anything, except for an attempt to climb into Collie’s lap, but he doubted this was what Collie meant. He frowned, trying to get away from Collie’s touch, attempting to free himself from the grasp Collie had on his lower back. Collie gave in, but not before giving a last, wistful stroke, and that’s when it hit him.
Collie didn’t see the dress from behind. He never knew the cut was there.
Gary laughed breathlessly, pawing at Collie’s hands and bringing them to the spot they were formerly resting on. His hold was nice, no, better than nice – it was fucking earth-shattering, and giving up on it seemed frankly impossible. “Ah, this… Just a small surprise. You like it?”
“Oh, baby,” Collie cooed, ghosting Gary’s skin with his worshipful touch. The longer Gary felt it, the more he wanted something bigger, better, sharper. Maybe Collie’s teeth on his neck. Maybe his tongue dragging along Gary’s skin, licking away the sweat and occasional glitter sticking to his skin. The need was intoxicating, but Gary ordered himself to stay patient. He just had to put some trust in Collie. “I don’t like it, I love it. Wanna touch you, sweetheart. Would you like that?”
“Yes,” Gary gasped, pressing their bodies closer. He couldn’t pay attention to anything else. He didn’t know whether the couple next to them left, but that didn’t matter, not when they weren’t much better off either. The answer was practically ripped out of his chest, fervent and firm, every letter exuding so much confidence. But Gary didn’t need to think much – he pictured Collie asking him that from the moment he laid eyes on him. “Yes, yes, please. Take me away from here.”
Collie gave him a brief look before gently lifting Gary’s leg off his lap, eliciting a sharp gasp. The way Collie’s fingers felt on his skin made him mad with want, painting the pictures of Collie spreading his legs and putting them on his shoulders between thrusting home, filling him in one sweep motion. Gary hoped he brought condoms, because he would die if the night didn’t end with Collie fucking his brains out. But if he was being honest, Collie’s fingers would do the job just fine, too.
“Okay, doll. Turn over, let me have a look.”
Gary did as requested, swaying his hips just the tiniest bit. He had to fight a contented grin forming on his face when he heard Collie take a short breath. Gary wanted, no, needed to see the way Collie’s eyes darkened even more as he knew they did – but the desire to be obedient, to be good, won, and he bent slightly, giving Collie a little show. This sinful desire would’ve been so embarrassing if the circumstances were different, if all of this mattered, if Collie wasn’t just a stranger he was going to fuck. But it was what it was, and Gary intended to get the most out of this situation. He was never going to see Collie again, so what did it matter if he opened his legs the moment Collie asked him to?
“Beautiful,” Collie gasped reverently, as if he believed every sound he articulated. “So beautiful, baby. Need to have you right now.”
Gary shivered from want. His cock gave a twitch of interest, straining the fabric of the dress even more. He needed to find a secluded place before the precome started leaking through his underwear, ruining the dress, because that would happen faster than he expected, with the way Collie was looking at him. “Okay,” he answered. “Okay, let’s go.”
He took Collie’s hand and dragged him through the ocean of people, and Collie never let go, not even once, not even when they occasionally bumped into someone. He felt so big, so warm in Gary’s palm, and Gary couldn’t help but desperately want to prolong the sensation. It was starting to look bad. Really, really bad.
They barged into the bathroom, swinging the door open. It was empty, not a single soul in sight. Gary sighed with relief, shoving Collie into one of the stalls, patiently waiting as he fumbled with the lock until he finally managed to shut the door. “Seems like we’re alone. Everyone else is too busy dancing, I guess,” Gary huffed.
Collie smirked. He then leaned down, tucking his nose into Gary’s collarbone, dragging it along the sensitive skin. “Yeah, so you can be as loud as you want. Would love to hear you sing, beautiful. Unless you’d rather dance, that is.”
Gary gave an incredulous, almost indignant laugh. “I don’t know if I’ll have any energy for that after we’re done,” he panted, “I’d rather do something else, anyway.”
Collie stopped mid-kiss, breaking off an undelivered touch of his lips to Gary’s skin. Gary barely resisted the wish to whine, instead letting Collie hike his leg up. He rutted against Collie in a slow, dirty motion, making sure to brush his cock. The feeling of Collie’s hardness almost knocked the air out of Gary. Being wanted so openly, so unashamedly, was something entirely new. “Hm?” Collie inquired, even though he knew the answer damn well. “What is it, pretty boy? What do you want?”
Gary hissed, “Don’t make me say it.”
Collie, the bastard, laughed, but Gary couldn’t stay mad at him for long. His laugh was bright and infectious, forcing a reluctant smile appear on Gary’s face. “Why? That’s half the fun, to hear you beg. Come on, baby, be a good boy for me. Just tell me what you want, and you’ll have it.”
Gary’s head spun. He wanted so much, but all the images in his head were slurred, uneven. The edges were torn, and he couldn’t tell where one fantasy ended and the other began. He only knew that all of them had something in common. Collie. Collie’s cock, to be exact. Collie’s cock stretching him, making it burn, reaching as deep into him as possible. Collie’s cock in his throat, filling him to the brim until Gary could take no more; then pulling away slightly and slamming back in. He could be good for Collie. He could make him see stars.
“Want you to fuck me,” Gary grunted, hiding his face in Collie’s shoulder, hoping it would muffle at least some sounds he was letting out. “With your cock. You have the condoms, right?”
Collie stiffened next to him, but made no effort to pull away. “Uh,” he slurred. At least Gary didn’t have to worry about his own eloquence anymore. “I didn’t expect to end the night like this, so no, I don’t.”
Inexplicably, Gary wanted to sob. “Oh.”
“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Collie assured, distancing himself a bit. “I can still show you a good time. Do you trust me on this?”
On this, and on anything else, probably wasn’t an adequate response, so Gary limited himself to a simple “yes”. Collie wasted no time, hiking him by his hips and sitting him on the ledge above the toilet. The space was scant, but Collie maneuvered him with enviable grace, managing to avoid bumping Gary against the ceramic surface. Gary silently thanked the club for having the stalls with a place to put his purse – and to sit himself. Otherwise, Collie would have to drop to his knees for what he planned next, and Gary would’ve really hated him to ruin his pants. Even if he wanted them gone with every last bit of his soul.
With his text movement, Collie shut the toilet lid and sat himself upon it, straddling it with his thighs. Gary had never been so envious of a piece of porcelain. He wanted Collie to straddle him, but there was no space for that here, and the other chance wouldn’t present itself, so he decided to get what he could.
Collie’s fingers ran along his thigh, grazing the tights with his nails. Gary shuddered, taking a sharp breath, and hissed through his teeth, “Higher.”
“What?” Collie teased, pretending to have missed his request, even though that was impossible with how close they were, and Gary knew for a fact that Collie kept his ear open for every sound he might emit. “What was that, baby?”
“Take them off,” Gary nearly whined, lifting his hips to help Collie perform the task. “Touch me, damn it!”
“Such a dirty mouth,” Collie cackled. “You think you deserve it?”
“Fuck,” Gary whimpered quietly. “I know you want me, man, quit playing.”
“Hell yeah,” Collie breathed. “You’re right, pretty boy, I do. Wanna taste you real bad, will you let me?”
Gary let out a tiny ah as Collie peeled the tights off him, chucking them to the floor in a neat heap. Not only did Collie want him, but he also admitted to it openly – as if it wasn’t shameful to want someone like him – and he wanted to suck him off, if only Gary didn’t manage to misinterpret this somehow. God. If someone told him just half an hour ago that this would be what his life would come to, he wouldn’t have believed it.
“Please,” Gary gasped, because he was only human. Some part of him wanted to be a problem. Wanted to be slapped, to be put into its place, but this part was dying out, and pretty quickly at that. He didn’t need to do that with Collie, because Collie was perfectly capable of giving him attention even if Gary wasn’t absolutely insufferable. “Do it,” he pleaded.
Collie didn’t need to be asked twice – even though he’d love that, Gary could bet – he dived right into it as if his life depended on it. He gave an audible moan at the sight that met him under the skirt – a pair of skimpy pink lacy panties that left little to the imagination. “Fuck,” Collie whispered, brushing his thumb against Gary’s cock, already full and leaking, and made no effort to free it from its confines. “You’re full of surprises, huh?”
“Didn’t… ah,” Gary sobbed. “Didn’t want to give everything out, y’know? Didn’t want you to lose interest so quickly.”
Collie lifted his eyes at him, staring at Gary as if he just said something unforgivable. “Baby,” he panted adoringly. “If you think that this would’ve made me lose my interest, you must be crazy.”
“I’m not crazy,” Gary protested.
“But you sure as hell sound like one,” Collie pressed. “Look at you. I would’ve drawn you if I could, lest I forget how you look right now. But I’m no artist, so I guess I’ll just have to look at you until my eyes start to hurt.”
Gary, honest-to-god, whined. But how could he not, when every word that came out of Collie’s mouth ignited a new nerve in his body, made it sing with pleasure in the way he thought was long forgotten. Apparently, it wasn’t. All it took was a gentle yet firm touch of someone who knew how to treat him right. “Okay, okay, I got it. But stop looking at me, just t–oh, ah!”
Gary’s hips bucked up without his permission, chasing the press of Collie’s fingers. Collie smirked contentedly and repeated the motion, tearing a string of curses from Gary’s lips. It felt good, too good, and yet still not enough. “What was that, princess? Did I hear something?”
Gary whimpered. “N-no.”
“Thought so,” Collie affirmed, coming back up to plant a kiss on the bridge of Gary’s nose. He scrunched it, much to Collie’s amusement. Well, screw him, but Gary wasn’t used to being kissed like this during sex. “You gonna let me worship you, baby? Gonna let me show you how good it can be?”
You already did, Gary thought, but he wasn’t about to turn down an opportunity to get more when it all but knocked on his door. He nodded, hoping to satisfy Collie with such a response, but Collie shook his head instead. “Need you to use your words, princess.”
“F-fuck, ah,” Gary moaned. Again with this nickname. It was so embarrassing. He wasn’t some chick who’d be floored by this, and yet, he couldn’t shake off the feeling of contentment that rushed through his veins. Maybe the chicks were onto something, because Gary would give about anything to hear that word fall from Collie’s lips again. “Yes, yes, okay. Do whatever you want.”
Collie landed a sharp nip on Gary’s shoulder, making him yelp in surprise. “Wrong, baby. This is about what you want, too. I’m not gonna use you and just walk off. So tell me, what would you like me to do?”
Gary’s brain bluescreened. He couldn’t process this, couldn’t understand why someone he just met would treat him with such tenderness, such respect. Don’t get him wrong, the way Collie grinded into him just a few minutes ago was absolutely dirty in all the best ways, but… It was so damn respectful, too. Not too intense to the point where Gary couldn’t take it anymore and would beg him to stop, but maddening enough to get him even more hot and bothered. A perfect mix, as if Collie already knew what precisely he liked. Or maybe all those microreactions he didn’t even notice were enough to paint a clear picture for Collie.
“I, uh,” Gary started. He gulped. His throat suddenly felt too dry, just like his lips had before in the lounge zone. But he couldn’t just lick it as well, could he? He needed something better, something that would reach deeper. “I want you to kiss me.”
Collie wasted no time – so good for him, so compliant – and stretched his neck out, claiming Gary’s lips like he wanted to keep him forever. The angle was awkward, especially for Collie. His neck would give him absolute hell tomorrow, but he didn’t seem to care. All that mattered for him was Gary’s lips, and Collie imbibed every tiny sigh that fell from them like it was water, and he never knew a drop of it. His hands went up to cup Gary’s face, bringing the two of them impossibly closer. Gary thought he heard a sob tear from Collie’s chest, but that couldn’t be anything but a product of his own imagination. Even so, nonexistent, this sound was the most astounding sound Gary had ever heard.
Reluctantly, Collie pulled away to force some air into his lungs, but their lips stayed connected through a thin thread of spit. Without even thinking, Gary’s tongue darted out to lick the liquid into his mouth, swirling it around to get used to the taste. Nothing unfamiliar, just the same aroma of lime and sugar, and yet it drove Gary crazy, because it was theirs. Shared.
“Gary, fuck,” Collie rumbled. Collie moaning his name, deep and low, was the definition of the original sin, and Gary desperately needed to hear more. “Killing me here. But here you go, done. Here’s your kiss. Anything else, Your Highness?”
Gary laughed.
“You make it sound like a business transaction.”
“Excuse me?” Collie raised his brow. “Just what kind of business transactions you been conducting?”
“That’s a secret,” Gary stuck his tongue out. “You’re gonna have to work a bit more to make me spill that.”
Collie mulled the thought over for some time, but Gary could tell it was all an act. The decision had long been made. “Alright. I’ll make you forget about every single one of them, anyway.”
Gary rolled his eyes to prevent an intense shiver from escaping.
“Cocky, aren’t you?”
“Maybe I am,” Collie replied, stifling a laugh. “But don’t get caught up in it, we have no time for that today.”
Gary didn’t even try to dwell on what the hell Collie meant with that. All his attention darted to the way Collie said it. Today. As if insinuating that today wasn’t the only time. Gary couldn’t allow himself to think about that too hard. He didn’t want to get his heart broken. Not again, not so soon.
“What would you offer, then?” Gary panted distractedly.
“What would you like?” Collie parred.
Gary threw his head back, defeated, only narrowly avoiding concussing his head against the wall.
“You said something about tasting me? Or am I mistaken?”
Collie sent him a sly smirk, lowering his head again. This position couldn’t have been exactly comfortable, too, but again, Collie paid no attention to the fact. He seemed too preoccupied with kissing Gary’s knee, dragging a path of wet caresses higher and higher, until he reached the rim of Gary’s panties. “Fuck,” Collie whined. “So beautiful. How did I get so lucky?”
Gary gave a disbelieving laugh. “Lucky? Man, I don’t know.”
Colie, however, wasn’t thrown off by his remark. He exuded confidence, roaring and bright, illuminating the entire damn bathroom, leaving Gary no chance to hide in the shadows. “Mhm, lucky. The luckiest guy ever, sweetheart. To have such a wonderful, gorgeous thing in my hands…” He tugged at Gary’s underwear insistently, but kept it in place anyway. “Can I?”
“Yes,” Gary gasped. “Yes, yes, please, uhn–”
“Don’t worry, baby,” Collie assured. “You’ve got this. Like this, right?”
Gary nodded, and this time, Collie deemed his consent acceptable. He was relieved beyond measure because there was simply no way he could beg for it again, especially so soon. Collie’s lips were so close. The warmth of his breath tickled Gary’s dick, but he didn’t dare to thrust up into his mouth, trusting Collie to set the pace. Collie leaned forward, planting a shy, hesitant kiss on the tip of Gary’s cock, and wrapped his hand around the rest of his length. “This okay?”
“Yes,” Gary gasped. Collie rewarded him with another kiss, this time bolder. His lips lingered for a moment longer, testing Gary’s resolve. It took all his willpower to keep his hips in place to avoid choking Collie if he wasn’t prepared. “Please, don’t stop…”
“Wasn’t going to, doll,” Collie grunted. “Just tell me if anything feels off, okay?”
“Mhm,” Gary agreed, and from that moment, he was lost.
Collie gave him another stroke, testing the limits of his endurance, and Gary – basically a bared nerve – couldn’t contain the bodily shiver that ripped through his body. His hips bucked up of their own volition, and Gary couldn’t help but be grateful that Collie didn’t have time to wrap his lips around his entire head yet. He whined, high in his throat and so embarrassingly thin, but Collie didn’t back off. On the contrary, he doubled his efforts, taking more of Gary’s cock into his mouth. He was confident enough with it, demonstrating that it wasn’t his first time, but he didn’t seem to be doing this too often, either. Gary arched his back, giving Collie clear evidence of just what his touch did to him. He was tipsy on those few gulps of caipirinha he managed to swallow, but full on drunk on the sensation of Collie’s hot, unyielding mouth loving on his cock.
“Fuck, taste so good, baby,” Collie gasped, coming up for air. His lips were glistening with Gary’s precome, and Gary had to fight the wish to lick them clean. Ew. It would’ve been so gross, the taste of him on his own tongue… But then again, mixed with Collie’s spit, it would be so damn hot… “Can I take you all the way in?”
Gary blinked.
“What, like…?”
“Exactly like that, sweet thing,” Collie winked. “So can I?”
“So damn eager, ah–” Gary whined. “Think you can do it?”
His hips jerked forward, impaling Collie on his cock almost fully. Collie gagged slightly, but this didn’t seem to quell his desire, only fuelling it more. He bobbed his head again and again as his hands searched for purchase, digging into the dimples of Gary’s back. Collie’s lips were so wonderfully tight against Gary, and he took Gary with such selfish abandon that it was hard to believe that he wasn’t made for it. Gary cried out, trying to ground himself, to balance out the sensations coursing through his blood, but to no avail. His feet didn’t touch the floor, and there wasn’t anything he could hold onto. If only, if only…
Collie pulled away with a lewd pop. He was breathing heavily, and his lips were plump and rosy, so inviting that Gary barely fought the urge to kiss him. “You can,” Collie rasped, voice rough from sucking Gary’s cock. “Hold onto my hair if you want to.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Gary declined, even if everything inside him screamed the opposite.
“Hurt me?” Collie arched his brow, and Gary felt a hot wave rise in his stomach. “Sweetheart, you wouldn’t hurt me. That’s just about the hottest thing I can imagine.”
Gary moaned, but not sooner than Collie dived back in. He sucked on him forcibly, squeezing Gary between his lips, forcing him to give up and accept the offer. And well, Gary had already proven to be weak against Collie’s charms, so he didn’t even hope to resist. Not hoping, he found, felt good. Liberating. Absence of hope meant absence of disappointment. Maybe Gary should carve this into the back of his mind, for when he’d inevitably have to let Collie go.
“Fuck, Collie,” Gary sobbed, tangling his fingers in Collie’s luscious, exceptionally long hair. It was silky to the touch, so soft that Gary felt the urge to bury his nose in it. To hide in there, maybe make a nest and stay there for the rest of his life. Collie gave an appreciative moan and sucked him deeper into his mouth, sending a wave of vibrations against Gary’s dick. He wouldn’t last long. Oh God, he was… “Please, I’m gonna…”
The door swung open. Not the door of their stall, thanks to all gods, but the door into the bathroom. Gary froze like a deer caught in the headlines of a car, swallowing a pitiful whine just by a miracle. He half expected the footsteps to get closer, but they didn’t, stopping somewhere around the sink. Good, they were just going to wash their hands and go away. Just a minute, and then he can…
The worst, the most mortifying part, was that Collie still didn’t pull away.
His mouth loved on Gary for a few torturously long seconds before he finally gave in and released Gary’s cock. Collie was dead silent, only bringing a finger to his lips to motion for Gary to remain quiet, but Gary needed no instructions. His breath caught in his throat, begging to be released, but Gary gave it no such luxury.
Gary’s eyes went wide when Collie took him into his mouth again, making him bite onto his hand to choke down the moan. Thankfully, Collie didn’t move. His head was concealed by the short skirt, but Gary just knew his eyes were closed in bliss, the same way they were when Collie sucked on his neck. He just stayed there, holding Gary in his mouth as if it was the most usual thing ever for him to do so. Faintly, Gary registered the sound of water running, but he couldn’t even feel relief. The only thing left in his brain was Collie. Collie, Collie, Collie.
“Collie!” Gary mouthed wordlessly, then clasped a hand over his mouth in horror. Collie gave no acknowledgement of what just happened. He remained frozen in place, oblivious to the situation they found themselves in.
The water ran for a few moments before going silent again. Gary almost released an annoyed moan. How long could washing someone’s hands take? They should’ve been long done, unless they decided to treat themselves to a manicure session right there. Which wasn’t the best idea, given that they were in the club, but then again, Gary wouldn’t dare to say that whatever he and Collie were doing here was better.
It would’ve been so much better in a wide, spacious bed, where Gary could let his legs fall open from the get-go. Collie would be oh so gentle, nibbling on his neck for much longer than he did in here, torturing Gary until he drank his fill. And oh God, Collie would take him there. Sheathe himself into Gary, feel how perfect his hold was around him, how Gary’s muscles tightened just for him, as if he was made to lie and take Collie’s cock. And as foolish as those dreams were, Gary couldn’t let go of them, desperately seeking to distract himself. It was a jump out of the frying pan into the fire, but Gary didn’t care.
Finally, the invader left, and Gary released a frankly mortifying sound. Half-gasp, half-cry, it was filled with so much greed, so much want. Gary could feel his skin burning. The situation, as humiliating as it had been, did nothing to alleviate his desire, instead turning it up another insufferable notch. Gary clawed at Collie’s hair, moans spilling from his lips freely, without any control.
“Ah, ah, ah, Collie, I’m–” Gary screeched. “Fuck, fuck, you’re gonna make me come, uhn, please!”
He begged Collie to let go, but Collie misinterpreted his pleas, instead swallowing around Gary’s dick as he came with a series of poorly contained screams. His vision whited out. The world was barren, and the only feeling tethering Gary to Earth was the tightness of Collie’s mouth around him, still swallowing everything Gary had to give him, not letting even a single drop spill. Gary’s gaze dropped down to where he registered Collie’s hand moving. His pants were fastened. He was palming himself through the fabric, probably too caught up in Gary’s orgasm. He briefly remembered Collie saying something about his pleasure, but he figured it meant a hasty mutual handjob, and not… This. This was a hundred, a thousand times better. This was too good to be true. This was something filled with light, and it was only a matter of time until Gary stained it with his dirty hands. It was better to break the spell while Collie was still delirious on his dick. Maybe Gary would manage to piss him off so much that Collie would just leave him.
“Let go,” Gary hissed, venom seeping from his voice. Collie immediately caught up that something was wrong and rose to his feet, making to touch Gary’s face, but Gary couldn’t bear it. He wanted to insult Collie, to make Collie see him for what he really was – a broken, useless piece of dirt. He wanted to tell Collie he didn’t need to waste his time on him. “Don’t touch me. No. Go away.”
Collie blinked, perplexed. “But…”
“I said, go away.” Gary hissed, his eyes narrowing. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. He could already feel the tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He wouldn’t cry, not in front of this man. It was better to start calling him this, hoping to forget how his name tasted on Gary’s tongue mere seconds ago. Gary hoped he would understand that he needed to leave before it got worse. “Please.”
Gary was given a tight nod. The door clanked shut, then the other, and finally, he was alone. He was back to square one. No Prince Charming to pick him up, no shiny shoes or polished carriage. Just a pair of panties dangling around his ankles, discarded tights on the floor, and a dress that was made for something else.
Gary pressed his eyes shut, trying to forget how just a few minutes ago he felt like it didn’t, like this dress was his all along. How he felt beautiful in it. It wasn’t true, anyway.
He cried until the entrance door rattled open again, then darted out of the stall and rubbed at his face until the redness went away.
__________________________
Gary wobbled towards the couches, praying with all that he had that the familiar face that haunted him wasn’t there. He wasn’t anywhere in sight, so Gary sighed, trying to persuade himself that what he felt was relief. It was better this way.
His caipirinha was long gone, Gary noted with disdain. It wasn’t like he would dare to drink it after leaving it unattended for such a long time, but annoyance still wormed its way into his soul. He should get another drink, maybe.
The crowd around the bar thinned out. The barman was still there, chatting with a scrawny guy in glasses as he twirled the bottle in his hands. Gary almost tsked at the four-eyed, but the look the barman sent him made Gary shut his mouth before even opening it. He settled onto a barstool instead, trying to even out his voice to make an order.
“Oh, you,” the barman muttered instead, reaching to the space that was obscured from Gary by the counter. He emerged with a glass that had a transparent liquid in it, adorned with lime and some sugar sprinkled along the rim. “A caipirinha for you. And a little something.”
He extended his hand towards Gary, a paper pinched in between his fingers. Gary hesitated, his fingers froze an inch away from the paper. Primal fear settled in Gary’s chest, as if the note would electrocute him or bite his entire hand away. The barman raised his brow, watching Gary with curiosity, and Gary yanked the paper, giving him an annoyed look.
“Thank you.”
The barman hummed, having lost his interest pretty much entirely. His watchful gaze left Gary, instead settling on the guy he was talking to before, who didn’t seem to be fazed by attention even the slightest bit. If anything, he was enjoying it. Gary snorted, questioning if he’d start preening next.
Gary, on his part, focused on the paper in his hands. It was his last chance to back down, to preserve a secret. He wouldn’t know what was written in there, and so it wouldn’t eat at him at night.
It was just that perhaps not knowing would destroy him sooner.
He fiddled with the note. It was folded in two; it wasn’t hard to open. Inside, in a pretty scrawl, stood a message, written in bold red color.
“Hi Gary,
I can’t be certain you’d be reading this, but I really hope you would. I don’t know what caused whatever happened there, and I won’t pry. It is your secret to hold. But there are other mysteries about you I could try to figure out. Maybe there are other pretty dresses in your collection? If so, I could give you a reason to wear them. How does a date sound?
Yours, Collie ♡
Gary felt the tears come drawing near again, but this time he didn’t try to hold them back. Those weren’t happy tears, not yet. He was scared, unreasonably so. The prospect of opening up terrified him. What if Collie would let him down? What if Collie would leave him, just like all the others do?
There are other mysteries about you I could try to figure out.
But to open up – not only for Collie’s sake, for his own, first and foremost. To breathe freely. To try and trust people, even if it led to discouragements, to broken promises and nights spent alone. It could be well worth it. Just to laugh again. To smile. To love. To feel, as Collie showed him, he was still able to.
Gary vanquished the trembling in his fingers and pulled his phone out, tapping on the screen to add a new contact.