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The trees and weeds seemed to make place even before the slender blade of Zhanmando came to cut them down. The venomous aura of the god wielding the blade was enough to even scare off the bravest creature of the woods. Behind him trailed two other gods whose mood couldn’t have been any more different from the god who was walking in front of them, making sure to have the biggest possible distance from them. The martial gods of the north and southwest were quietly whispering to each other but purposely loud enough so that Mu Qing couldn’t shut it down no matter how hard he tried to ignore Pei Ming and Feng Xin, but still too quiet to make Mu Qing figure out what they were talking about.That was exactly the very reason for the agitated mood of the god who was cutting the way free with way too much force than necessary.
Mu Qing could’ve endured the whispers if it would’ve been something useful about the mission they were sent on. However, they were acting all lovey-dovey, making Mu Qing’s stomach churn violently. He wasn’t sure if it was because he couldn’t stand people acting like they just confessed their love to each other even though those idiots had been together for more than three months now. But a part of him told him that wasn’t the only reason his mood was sour. If it hadn’t been for the scent blockers he was wearing, the air around the omega would surely be sour enough to make someone gag. He hoped the blockers would be strong enough to hide his scent from the sensitive noses of the two alphas behind him. He didn’t put his body through so much harm every day since he got his second gender after ascending just to let the two idiots catch on to the fact that he was lying about being a beta.
Judging from the fact that those idiots had been in their own world since arriving at the place where apparently a ghost made it its goal to abduct children wandering into the woods of the nearby village, they wouldn’t even catch his scent even if he had ripped his scent blockers off. To be honest, he wanted nothing more than to remove the blockers from his scent gland on his neck. His neck was starting to get irritated from the chemicals, and his scent gland was almost throbbing painfully, adding to Mu Qing’s irritation. However, against Mu Qing’s acknowledgment, the other two gods were in fact very aware of the irritated state of the god in front of them. That’s also the very reason the two were whispering nonstop with each other.
Pei Ming leaned closer to Feng Xin, whispering something that made Feng Xin let out a loud gasp. “What? You sure?” he asked, raising his eyebrows as his gaze went to the agitated Mu Qing in front of them.
Pei Ming chuckled lowly. “You are really dense. If I wasn’t the one taking matters into my own hands, we would still be acting like idiots hovering over each other without any changes, baby,” he whispered into Feng Xin’s ear, his lips brushing against the shell, making the other god shiver at the touch. Feng Xin pushed the other away, ears red. “Shut up, idiot,” he mumbled as he let his gaze wander to Mu Qing again. “What you’re saying doesn’t make any sense,” Feng Xin muttered as he let what Pei Ming said go through his head once more. “It’s Mu Qing we’re talking about. There’s no way he’d be jealous.”
“It’s exactly because it’s Mu Qing that he would feel jealous,” Pei Ming remarked. “Think about it. Since we got together, you’ve had rarely any time to argue with him. In the past, you two had arguments every day and it always ended in physical contact.”
“You think he’s missing the arguments?”
Pei Ming sighed. “No, you idiot. He misses the time he had with you.”
Feng Xin looked at his boyfriend with his eyes wide open. “Okay, now you’re reaching. Mu Qing may somehow feel jealous of getting less attention, but he would never miss me.”
Pei Ming stopped walking, making Feng Xin stop too. “Am I?” he asked, his gaze locked on the smaller god.
The conviction in Pei Ming’s eyes made Feng Xin’s words lose their weight.
“Oh.”
Oh.
“But how? Why? Since when?” Feng Xin stammered. A fond smile tugged at Pei Ming’s lips as he saw how flustered the other got at the fact that the one he thought hated him may bear some other feelings for him.
“These questions are not for me to answer. What’s important is what you’re going to do if Mu Qing answers them.” Pei Ming paused as he saw Feng Xin’s eyes locked on the ground. He wrapped his hand around the other’s chin, gently pushing it up. “What are you going to do if he tells you he likes you, baby?”
“I-I don’t know,” Feng Xin mumbled. “Probably nothing? It’s you who has my heart. Why should I throw what we have away only to have a moment with a crush I had long ago?”
“What if you don’t have to throw away what we have?”
“What?”
“I mean what if you can have us both?” Pei Ming said, his tone firm, not leaving room for anything besides complete seriousness.
“T-that wouldn’t work. I mean—no, that’s not possible,” Feng Xin replied as he turned away, not wanting to face the other anymore. Instantly forcing Feng Xin to look at him, Pei Ming stepped closer, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist, pulling him to his chest. “What are you afraid of? Do you think you won’t be able to love us both equally? That someone would feel neglected? If that’s the case, I can tell you that that won’t happen,” Pei Ming whispered. “You have the biggest heart I have seen on anyone. If someone can give his love equally to more than one person, it’s you, baby."
“I-it’s not that,” Feng Xin mumbled as he broke the hug, turning to face Pei Ming. Pei Ming needed only one look at his boyfriend’s eyes to tell him everything he needed to know.
“You’re hesitating because you think I won’t like sharing you?” Feng Xin nodded.
Pei Ming smirked as he leaned closer. “You’re right. I don’t like sharing things that are mine. But I can make an exception if it’s someone as pretty as Mu Qing. Don’t you think he would look absolutely stunning next to us?”
A soft gasp left Feng Xin’s lips. “You like him too?” Pei Ming nodded as his eyes went to Mu Qing, who still hadn’t noticed that they had both stopped and had walked further into the woods. “I figured it would be easier if I asked you first,” he said as his gaze went back to the one in front of him.
“Yeah, he would’ve kicked your ass if you had told him you liked him before he realized his feelings,” Feng Xin said, chuckling. “So it was your idea to make him jealous so he would acknowledge his feelings?” Feng Xin asked.
“You are not as dense as I thought,” Pei Ming answered, smirking.
“You’re so fucking annoying,” Feng Xin grumbled as he continued walking before Mu Qing could realize what was happening.
“Yeah, but you love me,” Pei Ming said as he followed.
“Unfortunately,” Feng Xin replied, not being able to stop the fond smile, tugging at the corner of his lips. “So what are we gonna do now?”
Pei Ming thought for a moment before answering him. “I don’t think words will get to him. He’s going to close off the moment someone talks about feelings.”
“Yeah, I think so too. That idiot is way too stubborn to admit he wants anything.”
“Are you guys kidding me?”
Before Pei Ming could answer and they could decide what to do, an angry voice broke their bubble. They both snapped their heads toward the sound.
“Isn’t it enough that I’m cutting the way free? Do I need to do the whole mission alone or what?” Mu Qing had snapped as he had arrived in front of the cave where the ghost’s lair should be, and he naturally wanted to discuss the tactic with the other two. But as he turned around, he saw that they were chattering without a worry, practically on the other side of the woods.
“No need to snap, pretty,” Pei Ming said, grinning as the two gods approached Mu Qing. Feng Xin tugged at the other’s robe to get his attention. “What the hell are you doing?” he whispered, panicked. “Are you not going too fast?”
Pei Ming shook his head. “Trust me, I know how we can break his stubbornness,” he whispered back without breaking eye contact with Mu Qing.
“Snap? I didn’t sna—” The words stuck in Mu Qing’s throat as he realized what Pei Ming had called him. Heat instantly rushed to his ears.
At the sight of the flustered Mu Qing, a satisfied expression covered Pei Ming’s face. If Mu Qing didn’t feel anything for him, he wouldn’t react like this to a simple pet name. Pei Ming was sure that Mu Qing definitely felt something for his boyfriend, but he wasn’t sure how the god truly felt about him. He wanted to make sure they were on the same page before going any further.
“W-what did you just call me?” Mu Qing said, his voice cracking. Instead of replying to Mu Qing, Pei Ming turned to Feng Xin with a grin. “Look at how flustered he got, baby. Just because I called him pretty.” The red shade on Mu Qing’s ears darkened. He opened his mouth, but all that came out was a choked gasp.
Feng Xin took a few steps toward Mu Qing, deliberately stepping into his space. “What is it, Mu Qing? Do you like being called pretty?” he drawled.
Feng Xin was so close that Mu Qing could feel the heat radiating from him. He quickly stepped back, his eyes darting anywhere but at him. But when Mu Qing took a step back, Feng Xin took two steps forward. Soon Mu Qing’s back hit the wall of the cave, which led to a smirk from the other. “Looks like you can’t run anymore,” Feng Xin said, his voice low.
“Come on, Mu Qing, answer him,” Pei Ming said as he stepped closer to the other two. He leaned slightly forward so that his lips were nearly brushing Mu Qing’s ear. “Do you like being called pretty?” he whispered.
Mu Qing’s body was frozen. He could barely breathe. Being near one alpha was enough to intoxicate Mu Qing’s omega. But having two alphas this close in his space? Their scent was overwhelming, making Mu Qing’s knees go weak. He felt like he was standing on clouds. He had to quickly get his body under control. He was supposed to be a beta. Betas shouldn’t be affected by an alpha’s pheromones.
If his knees gave out now, it would only raise suspicion. Mu Qing clenched his fists together, digging his nails into his palms. The pain instantly brought him back from his daze. With a hard shove, he pushed Feng Xin back, taking a few steps toward the entrance of the cave. “
Whatever you two are playing at, do it somewhere else,” Mu Qing pressed out, his ears still awfully red. “I have better things to do than whatever… whatever that was,” he added, motioning with his hands at the two. He turned away, taking a few steps into the cave before he stopped and turned back to the two gods, who were watching him with amusement in their eyes.
“If you two came to play, I suggest you go back. I’m faster alone anyway,” he said through his clenched jaw.
With that said, he once again turned his back to them and fully stepped into the cave.
“That was—”
“Interesting?” Pei Ming finished Feng Xin’s sentence.
“Yeah. Interesting,” he mumbled to himself.
“Do you believe me now about him being jealous?” Pei Ming asked.
Feng Xin nodded. “We are not really going back now, right?” he asked, remembering Mu Qing’s last words.
Pei Ming let out a laugh. “Of course not. My feelings are telling me this is going to get more interesting very soon,” he answered as he grabbed Feng Xin’s hand and pulled him into the cave to follow Mu Qing.
“I really hope we all get out of here in one piece,” Feng Xin whispered.
“Yeah, me too,” the other agreed, chuckling.
———
Mu Qing continued deeper into the cave, Zhanmando already poised in his hands. Something felt weird. He didn’t know if his senses were all over the place because the two alphas’ pheromones were still in his system. But he couldn’t sense anyone else in the cave besides himself and the two idiots who hadn’t gone back like he told them to. Even if the ghost was not at wrath level, it should still leave some evil qi. All he felt was a weak trail that was surely a couple of days old. He furrowed his eyebrows. That couldn’t be true. In the mission scroll Ling Wen gave them, it clearly stated that the villagers saw the ghost entering the cave just an incense before they got there. If the ghost had left the cave, they would’ve met it on their way here. Unless the villagers had lied to them, which meant they had walked straight into a trap. The alphas who were following him, carefully not closing the distance too much, seemed to have realized that too.
“Mu Qing, something’s not right,” Feng Xin called out as his eyes tracked every movement.
“The villagers must be working with the ghost. He must’ve threatened them,” Pei Ming stated as he assessed the situation.
“Don’t run in further blindly,” Feng Xin said, his voice low and urgent, his gaze flickering briefly to Mu Qing to make sure he was still there before shifting back to their surroundings.
“You think I haven’t noticed?” Mu Qing scoffed. “What are you two still doing here? Didn’t I tell you to go back?” he said as he turned to them. “I can manage this on my own.”
Feng Xin’s eyes were still darting around the cave as he summoned Feng Xin, ignoring the other’s words. Pei Ming shifted closer to Mu Qing, his senses heightened, ready to attack if someone ambushed them. “We know you can manage this on your own,” Pei Ming answered instead of Feng Xin. “But that doesn’t mean you have to. The mission got assigned to the three of us. Not just you,” he added, his tone firm but gentle as his gaze sought Mu Qing’s.
Mu Qing’s lips parted for a second before he pressed them back together, his breath catching briefly. He wasn’t that dense. He could hear the worried undertone in both of their voices. Mu Qing wasn’t sure whether he should feel anger because they didn’t seem to take him seriously, or happiness that someone was actually caring for him.
“Whatever,” he mumbled, not meeting Pei Ming’s gaze as he turned away and continued walking deeper into the cave, the other two following closely, always ready to attack.
Soon they entered a small cavern whose walls were covered in strange characters written in red. Feng Xin was the first to find his voice. “What the fuck is this?”
“Looks like a message,” Pei Ming replied as he stepped closer to the walls, carefully not touching the unknown substance in which the message was written. He was fully immersed in trying to decipher the writing, but he still caught Mu Qing from the corner of his eyes reaching out to touch the wall. His hand immediately shot out to grab Mu Qing’s wrist, pulling him away from it. “What do you think you’re doing?” Pei Ming snapped before he could stop himself, as he examined Mu Qing’s hand for any signs of injury.
At the sound of Pei Ming snapping, Feng Xin hurried over. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his eyes darting from one to the other.
“He was going to touch the wall,” Pei Ming answered, his jaw clenching.
Feng Xin’s eyes immediately went to Mu Qing’s hand. “What? Are you crazy? Did you touch it?” he asked as he reached for Mu Qing’s wrist that was still in Pei Ming’s grip. Mu Qing, who had frozen from the sudden contact, finally came back to himself, pulling his wrist out of Pei Ming’s hand. “How could I have touched it if your boyfriend acted like a damn guard dog?” Mu Qing snapped, spitting the word “boyfriend” out.
“Seriously, what is wrong with you two?” His voice rose as he glared at the two gods in front of him.
Pei Ming scoffed. “What is wrong with us? What is wrong with you? Why are you acting so damn careless?”
“How I act is my goddamn business. It has nothing to do with you two,” Mu Qing spat out, his voice hardening.
“Mu Qing, stop,” Feng Xin intervened. “Pei Ming is right. We don’t know what the message was written with. It could be a curse.”
Mu Qing rolled his eyes. “You two are really made for each other. Go bother someone else with that relationship of yours,” he said, not caring how jealous he sounded. “It’s sickening watching you two act like you only have eyes for each other,” he added as he turned to leave the cavern. It didn’t look like there was a ghost in here. It didn’t make sense to stay any longer. He should report it to Ling Wen so she could revise her information before sending people on missions only to waste their time.
He hadn’t even managed to take one step before a hand shot out to grab his wrist again. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Feng Xin pressed out.
Mu Qing yanked his hand away. “Don’t touch me,” he hissed.
Feng Xin scoffed. “Stop acting like a fucking brat and tell us what you want instead of snapping at people who care about you.”
Mu Qing swallowed hard, curling his fingers into fists. “I didn’t ask for your care. So save it. I’m leaving. You two do whatever you want. I’m done with this mission.”
He turned around to leave, but in that moment there was a deafening bang. Before he even realized what had happened, he was pulled behind the other two as they formed a shield together. The entrance to the cavern had exploded, and Pei Ming and Feng Xin instantly reacted, pulling Mu Qing behind them to shield him from the debris. After all, he had been standing closest to the entrance. But no matter how fast they were, a piece of debris still grazed Mu Qing’s cheek, cutting the skin open. He hissed as the pain caught up to him, which made the other two immediately turn around.
“Fuck, are you okay?” Feng Xin asked as he cupped Mu Qing’s cheek with his hand, inspecting the cut. The sudden contact made Mu Qing flinch, causing Feng Xin to instantly step back.
“Sorry,” he whispered at the sight of a distressed Mu Qing.
“I’m fine,” Mu Qing mumbled as he took a few steps back, turning away from the worried gazes Pei Ming and Feng Xin were giving him. This was bad. He was in an enclosed space with two alphas whose scents had already begun to change the air around him. On top of that, it didn’t help that they had both started releasing soothing pheromones to calm him down — even though they both assumed he was a beta. Pheromones had no effect on betas. No matter how soothing they were. They must’ve been doing that subconsciously.
Which was worse.
They couldn’t stop if they weren’t aware of it. He couldn’t tell them to stop, otherwise it would reveal his true second gender. He didn’t want to be perceived as an omega. He refused to let something weak take over him. But that was exactly what was happening right now. The soothing pheromones had already started to work, making his knees weak and his mind clouded. He had to bite down on his tongue to suppress a whimper as the two alphas’ scents seemed to thicken.
Soon enough, he felt a presence behind him. Too close. The scent of fresh-mown grass and earth before rain hit his nose.
Pei Ming.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked, his voice gentle and careful as he wrapped his hands around Mu Qing’s waist, turning him so he was facing him. His gaze searched Mu Qing’s, but Mu Qing refused to lift his head, his eyes sternly locked on the ground. “Look at me, Mu Qing,” he asked softly. “Please, pretty?”
Only now did Mu Qing lift his head. Pei Ming was a couple of centimeters taller than him, so he had to raise his head to meet Pei Ming’s eyes. “You’re so responsive,” Pei Ming murmured, a fond smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he gently caressed the other’s cheeks.
Mu Qing didn’t know what came over him as he leaned into the touch, his eyes closing. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched him this gently, as if he were the most precious thing in their hands. Mu Qing knew the reason he was acting this pathetically was because the alphas’ scents had clouded his ability to think. He tried everything to blame his omega for acting like this. Mu Qing didn’t want to acknowledge that maybe it was not only his omega that wanted more. However, it didn’t matter what he wanted. Mu Qing couldn’t have what he wanted.
If he weren’t so scared to voice his feelings — to voice what he wanted — he wouldn’t have to yearn for a hopeless wish: to be loved by the two people who were so close to breaking down his rational thoughts. Mu Qing had to snap out of it. He was being greedy by wanting to be loved by not just one but two people. Even if he could, it was not possible. Feng Xin and Pei Ming had already found their other half in each other. There was simply no place for him at their side anymore.
It took all of his willpower to make his body move and step a couple of steps back. Whatever this was, it couldn’t happen again. He didn’t know why those two were acting like this — like they cared — but he couldn’t let his heart hope anymore. It would only end with him getting hurt.
“I said I’m fine,” Mu Qing mumbled as he put space between himself and Pei Ming. “I can take care of myself,” he added, his usual cold voice returning as he walked past Feng Xin, not daring to look at him as he headed toward where the explosion had happened. Feng Xin’s hand shot out toward Mu Qing, but it fell uselessly back to his side as he remembered Mu Qing’s face earlier when he had cupped his cheeks. Mu Qing had flinched at his touch, and that felt worse than any punches Mu Qing had ever thrown at Feng Xin. But at the same time, Mu Qing had leaned so willingly into his boyfriend’s touch that it made his heart ache.
Pei Ming immediately knew what was going through his boyfriend’s head.
“It’s not because of you.” Pei Ming had pulled Feng Xin a couple of steps back and whispered into his ear so Mu Qing wouldn’t be able to hear them.
“H-He was scared of me, Pei Ming,” Feng Xin whispered back, his voice cracking.
“That’s not true, baby. You know that.”
“Oh yeah? It sure looked like that when he flinched,” Feng Xin snapped, his voice rougher than he meant it to be. He quickly glanced at Mu Qing to make sure he hadn’t heard, but Mu Qing was too busy coming up with a solution to get out of the cave to notice the tension rising behind him.
“I’m sorry,” Feng Xin mumbled as he let his head fall onto Pei Ming’s chest. It wasn’t Pei Ming’s fault. He shouldn’t have snapped at him.
Pei Ming wrapped his arms around the other as he pressed a soft kiss to his hair. “Don’t be. I know how you feel,” Pei Ming said as he lifted Feng Xin’s head with his hands.
“I don’t think this was a good idea. H-He doesn’t like me.” Feng Xin's voice was nothing more than a shaky breath. Pei Ming cupped his face with both hands. “Don’t say that, baby. You know it’s not true.” His voice softened as he tried to reassure him. “He’s just scared. I mean, I would be too. After all, he’s the one standing alone. We already have each other. I’m sure he feels like we’re messing with him,” he spoke quietly as his gaze shifted to the other god, who was still examining the entrance. “It’s Mu Qing we’re talking about. Words don’t work. We need to show him we mean it. Only then is he going to open up,” Pei Ming finished as his gaze returned to his boyfriend.
“How are we going to do that?” Feng Xin asked.
“Do you trust me?”
“Of course I do,” he replied, confused.
“Then just follow my lead. Don’t let your brain take away what your heart wants.”
——----
Meanwhile, Mu Qing was racking his brain about the situation. The whole roof had collapsed, so there was no way to leave the cavern now. If they blasted the boulders away with their spiritual powers, who knew if there wouldn’t be another explosion? After all, this was probably the ghost’s trap. He must’ve assumed they would use their spiritual powers to get out, so he had surely made sure that wouldn’t be possible. His shoulders sagged as his thoughts came to an end. They wouldn’t be able to get out without help from outside. And it would take time for Ling Wen to notice they hadn’t returned from the mission and send someone down to check. He turned back to the other two, who were quietly whispering to each other. At the sight of how intimate the two looked together, he felt a sharp tug in his heart, which he quickly dismissed.
How am I going to survive being trapped in a place with two alphas without going insane?
Right as the thought crossed Mu Qing’s mind, the other two’s eyes snapped toward him. Mu Qing immediately turned back around. It was just a matter of time until he couldn’t ignore their pheromones anymore. On top of that, his skin had started to burn where his scent blockers were still covering his scent gland. He didn’t know why they were suddenly this sensitive. Usually, he could go a couple of days with them on without his skin burning. Maybe his body had finally caught up to all the harm.
He needed to meditate. That would surely make his spiritual powers flow better so that he could forget the searing pain on his neck, and maybe he could also ignore the scents of wood and fire mixed with the scent of fresh-mown grass and a hint of earth before rain. Mu Qing felt energized at finally having a way to ignore the two other gods as he chose a corner of the cave — the farthest away from them. He quickly sat down with his back turned to them, taking a meditative pose. It hadn’t even been a minute since Mu Qing had sat down with his eyes closed, but his peace was already disturbed.
“What are you doing?” Pei Ming asked as he watched Mu Qing with raised eyebrows.
“Dancing,” Mu Qing replied, rolling his eyes. “Seriously, what do you think I’m doing?”
“Avoiding us?” Pei Ming asked back.
“Sure, whatever makes you feel better.”
“Oh, pretty. What makes you think we would feel better if you’re avoiding us?”
Mu Qing felt his heart flutter at the sound of the name. He hated how such a simple thing could make him feel like this. But how could he not, when Pei Ming said that word like he meant it? Like there was no better word to describe him?
“Stop calling me that.”
Before Pei Ming could answer, Feng Xin stepped forward. “Why should he do that?” he asked, now only inches behind the seated Mu Qing. “What’s wrong with telling the truth?”
“According to that, he goes around calling anyone he finds pretty like that.” Feng Xin shook his head, but as he realized Mu Qing couldn’t see it, he answered, “No, he’s not.”
At that, Mu Qing stood up and turned around to face them. He wouldn’t be able to meditate anyway with those two idiots invading his space. What Mu Qing hadn’t calculated, though, was how close Feng Xin had stepped behind him. “What the hell?” Mu Qing almost stumbled back, but a hand on his waist stopped him.
“Stop running away,” Feng Xin said, his gaze so intensely locked on Mu Qing that he felt the heat creeping up his neck.
Until now, Pei Ming had stood back and watched his boyfriend with a proud expression on his face. Despite the fact that Feng Xin had doubted Mu Qing liking him back a moment ago, the moment he heard Mu Qing question his truthfulness, he stepped forward. Pei Ming knew Feng Xin was still not convinced this could work. But he was trying — for him. Not only for him. He was trying for the slightest bit of hope to have what it took to complete his heart.
With a smirk, he stepped forward, putting a hand around Feng Xin’s shoulder. “He’s right. I don’t just go around and call anyone pretty.” He leaned closer to Mu Qing, his lips brushing past his ear. “But you’re an exception.” Mu Qing closed his eyes. He didn’t know what to do anymore. At one moment, he wanted nothing more than to step back and create as much distance as possible between them. But at the same time, he wanted nothing more than to stay right where he was.
Pei Ming was standing so close that Mu Qing could feel his breath on his neck. That alone was enough to make him feel like he wasn’t alone anymore. Like there was someone who cared enough to stay. Feng Xin’s hands, still on his waist, holding him in place, felt like a blanket. The heat of his hands slowly spread through his body. Mu Qing wasn’t the type to be warm — quite the opposite. He would call it a good day if he could still feel his fingers at the end of it. He didn’t know why he was so prone to the cold. Maybe the loneliness in his heart was taking a toll on his body too.
“Why are you doing this?” Mu Qing’s voice was barely above a whisper, but the other two still heard him. Mu Qing didn’t give in to what his brain wanted. He didn’t step back. What he needed were answers, and moreover, he was tired of running away.
Since Mu Qing had asked his question, his eyes had been locked on the ground. He didn’t want to see anything in their expressions before hearing the answer. Or maybe the feeling of their gazes was just too much for him. He wasn’t used to being seen the way they saw him. A featherlight touch on his cheek made him look up. Pei Ming was caressing the cut gently, so gently that Mu Qing felt his throat burn.
“Don’t hide those pretty eyes from us,” Pei Ming said softly. Mu Qing averted his gaze and finally stepped back, and this time Feng Xin let him. “Stop. Just stop saying these things,” he said, his voice wavering despite his effort to steady it. “Just answer my question first… please?”
This time, when Mu Qing lifted his head again, Feng Xin felt something in his heart shatter. The look in Mu Qing’s eyes held so much hope that it was almost a desperate plea. A plea for an answer that would make him stop hoping. Mu Qing wanted to hear that they were just playing with him — not because he didn’t want them the way they wanted him, but because he didn’t dare to hope for something his heart believed he didn’t deserve. Feng Xin stepped forward without thinking. He just wanted to hold the other in his arms and tell him that he deserved this and so much more. But before he could, Pei Ming caught his wrist. His eyes said Don’t, and Feng Xin knew he was right. He would only overwhelm him right now. So he stepped back and let Pei Ming take charge.
“You asked why we’re doing this, when all our actions speak for themselves? You already know why we’re doing this, right? You just don’t want to believe that there is someone in this world who could treat you like this. Like you’re worthy of the love someone could give you.”
Mu Qing’s breath hitched in his throat.
Love.
Was this what he was feeling?
And not just the urge to have what Pei Ming and Feng Xin had with each other?
Realization hit him before he could’ve stopped it. Mu Qing had loved Feng Xin since he met him when they were still mortal. How could he have not fallen for him? After all, his heart was not strong enough to ignore Feng Xin, when he acted like his highness was the most precious thing his eyes were ever set on. How many times had he watched Feng Xin dash into danger without even batting an eye, just to save his highness? How many times had he tended his highness’s wounds with so much gentleness that the tears had stung in Mu Qing’s eyes? Every single one of those times, he had wished to take his highness’s place instead. He wanted to be the one to be protected and cared for by him.
After he ascended, his heart chose to open up for not just one person anymore. Suddenly there was the scent of fresh-mown grass next to the scent of wood and fire in his mind.
His stupid heart had also chosen Pei Ming.
Pei Ming, the god who placed his loyalty to his friends above anything else. What was it that made him sneak into Mu Qing’s heart? Mu Qing blamed his exceptionally remarkable powers of observation for falling for the other god. Had he not noticed how Pei Ming would act when he thought no one was watching him, his heart would now only have one problem to deal with. He admired how far Pei Ming went to help Pei Xiu even after he was long banished. He knew many saw his devotion to helping Pei Xiu as an act to avoid his reputation getting dragged down. But Mu Qing saw how he looked at Pei Xiu when he thought no one was looking. There was so much guilt in them. For not being able to save his friend. He went against the heavens to drag Banyue back up just to clear Pei Xiu’s name.
How could he not admire that? After all, that was something he wished he could say of himself — that he would’ve done the same if he were in Pei Ming’s place.
Or was it rather because, no matter how difficult he was to deal with, Pei Ming never took it personally? He never asked for an explanation nor an apology. He just stayed without obligation. He had no reason to stay. Unlike with Feng Xin, he didn’t share a past. There was nothing holding Pei Ming here. No debt to pay off, nor a need to stay just for the sake of a shared past. Did he fall for Feng Xin because he chose to stay with him, despite the hard past they had shared with each other? Despite seeing the worst of him but still choosing to stay? And did he fall for Pei Ming because he chose him without needing a reason to stay next to him? Was his heart aching for him because he felt safe enough to be vulnerable without needing to expect anything in return?
Because he stayed without needing to know his flaws?
He knew it didn’t matter what his heart wanted. Because he was too scared to give in. Still, it felt like every ounce of hope had vanished as Pei Ming and Feng Xin got together. It felt like his heart was getting shredded into a thousand pieces whenever he saw them together. How he had wished to be worshipped by Pei Ming like he worshipped Feng Xin. How he had wished to be held like Feng Xin held Pei Ming. He had wished to feel safe all the time, like he felt with them.
But how could he have fallen for both of them? Why couldn’t it have just chosen one? Or why not even chosen someone he had at least a chance with? Was it because Pei Ming understood his emotions even at times when Mu Qing himself didn’t? Was it because he always knew what to say to make him feel better? Or was it because he dared to voice feelings Mu Qing himself never trusted himself to?
Was it because of Feng Xin’s way of acting first and then thinking? In that way, Feng Xin was the exact opposite of his boyfriend. He wouldn’t bother finding a solution first when Mu Qing once again didn’t understand his feelings. Feng Xin would give him time and just stay close.
Pei Ming had made his way into Mu Qing’s heart with emotional closeness and Feng Xin with physical closeness.
Did his heart choose Feng Xin because Mu Qing needed both? Someone who could clear his heart with words and someone who could clear his mind when words didn’t work?
His heart was right. Sometimes Mu Qing just needed someone to hold him, and sometimes he needed reassurance in the form of words. Mu Qing had learned to hide these feelings in the depths of his heart.
A place where even he had forgotten they existed.
Only now were these feelings resurfacing. It took only a bit more attention and the feeling of being cared for his heart to think he had a place here.
A place by their side.
Only now had Mu Qing realized that Feng Xin and Pei Ming had not just started acting toward him like they cared. Whether it was when their gaze lingered on him longer than necessary, or when they would always place themselves in front of him whenever there was any type of danger during their missions without even thinking twice. It was always there.
They were always there. It simply took him time to figure it out.
Everything was suddenly so loud, he couldn’t catch a single thought that made sense. He only knew he was so tired. So fucking tired of hoping. Before he could stop it, his knees gave out and he closed his eyes, waiting for the impact. But before he could hit the floor, a pair of arms circled around his waist, catching him.
This time Pei Ming had let Feng Xin act without stopping him. The look in Mu Qing’s eyes told him everything. Mu Qing had come to a realization he had to reach on his own. He had to be alone for that. If they had intervened sooner, Mu Qing would’ve just closed up before coming to terms with his feelings. Even if that meant he first had to break down the walls he’d built over the past centuries. But now he didn’t need to be alone anymore. What he needed now was reassurance and simply the feeling of being held. Pei Ming knew Feng Xin was the one who could bring these feelings into Mu Qing. He also knew Feng Xin needed to be the first to be there after Mu Qing had crumbled down.
Only then would he fully believe he had a place in Mu Qing’s heart too.
“Shh, it’s okay. Everything’s okay,” Feng Xin whispered as he brought the other to his chest. “You’re going to be fine… we’re going to be fine.”
“I-I’m sorry,” Mu Qing sobbed out as he clung harder to Feng Xin. “I’m so, so sorry for wanting something that wasn’t meant to be mine.”
“Hey, no, stop saying that,” Feng Xin said as he pulled Mu Qing into his lap. They were both now sitting on the ground as Feng Xin rubbed the other’s back in a futile attempt to soothe him. “Don’t say that ever again. Who says this wasn’t meant to be yours?”
Mu Qing just shook his head, burying his face in Feng Xin’s neck. He knew no words would calm him down now.
What Mu Qing needed was warmth.
A touch to tell his body he wasn’t alone.
A scent to ground him.
He deeply inhaled Feng Xin’s scent, allowing it for the first time to calm him down. And Feng Xin knew that and let him. Only when Mu Qing’s breathing got steadier and his body was no longer shaking did Pei Ming approach them. He crouched down behind Feng Xin so that he could see Mu Qing’s face.
“Would you look at me, pretty?” he asked gently. This time he didn’t have to ask a second time. Mu Qing lifted his head and Pei Ming felt a sharp sting in his heart. “Stop crying, pretty,” Pei Ming murmured as he gently wiped the falling tears away. “Though you look fucking adorable when you cry,” he added with a smirk in his voice.
Mu Qing ignored his teasing, though it made his heart feel lighter, and leaned into Pei Ming’s touch. “You said you’re sorry for wanting something that was not meant to be yours,” Pei Ming said, his tone shifting to something more serious. He paused for a moment, not because he wanted Mu Qing to answer but to let his mind catch up. “But that’s not something for you to decide,” he continued as he started caressing the other’s cheeks. “People never think that they deserve things. It’s on others to tell them they’re more worthy than they think they are. And you, pretty, have just found two people who are ready to give you the world and much more to tell you that.”
----
Mu Qing tried to let Pei Ming’s words get into his head. He really tried. But how fast can doubts that have been in someone’s heart for centuries dissolve? He couldn’t say anything that would come out as convincing, so he just let his head fall back down and buried his nose once more in the crook of Feng Xin’s neck. He hoped his actions would speak for him. That he was trying and not running away anymore.
The other two knew not to say anything and let him have a moment to process what he felt and what he wanted. He didn’t know how long he was hugging Feng Xin, but at some point Pei Ming had started stroking his hair. If someone else had touched him like that, or if he had done it any sooner, Mu Qing wasn’t sure if he would’ve allowed it. Still, Mu Qing suddenly realized how painfully pathetic he was acting. When had he started clinging so desperately to the next best person who gave him the slightest bit of comfort? Feng Xin seemed to have sensed something was wrong at the feeling of Mu Qing’s body tensing up in his embrace.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Feng Xin asked as he pushed the other slightly away to see his face. Pei Ming had also realized something was wrong and stopped stroking his hair. “Nothing,” Mu Qing replied, but he still got up from Feng Xin’s lap.
“We should start to find a way out.”
Feng Xin also stood up and exchanged a worried glance with his boyfriend. They both knew something was bothering him, but they also knew they couldn’t stay in this cave forever. They could talk later anyway. The important things had already been said. Mu Qing knew what he meant to them, and for now that was enough. He just needed to know they were not playing with him.
“Easier said than done,” Pei Ming said as he walked to where the entrance once was. “If we blow this up, who can guarantee that the whole cave isn’t going to fall on our heads before we can even step a foot out?” he stated as he turned back to the other two. “Besides, even if it would work somehow, it doesn’t look like we have enough spiritual power for that right now.”
Feng Xin furrowed his brows. “What? Why should we not have enough spiritual power?”
Pei Ming chuckled at his boyfriend’s cluelessness. “Baby, look at Mu Qing and tell me what you see.” “What?” Mu Qing and Feng Xin said at the same time. “The cut on his face,” his voice softened. “It’s still not healed. The cut was not that deep to begin with, so his spiritual power should’ve healed it already.”
Mu Qing touched his face and sure enough, the cut was still there even though it didn’t hurt.
“Oh, you’re right,” Feng Xin said, dumbfounded.
“I know I am. Besides, have you two not noticed that we can’t enter the communication array?”
Feng Xin and Mu Qing’s eyes widened and they pressed their fingers to their temples at the same time. Both their faces fell as they couldn’t get a connection to Ling Wen. “That means we have to sit here and wait until someone notices we’re still not back?” Feng Xin asked as his brain caught up to the situation they were in. Pei Ming nodded but then flashed a grin. “On the bright side, that means we’re probably going to be in here for at least an hour.”
Feng Xin raised his eyebrows, not getting what the other was implying. “So what?” Pei Ming’s smirk widened. “I don’t know about you, but we three are stuck here. Alone. For at least an hour.”
The heat shot up into Feng Xin’s ears. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t have felt like this. There was rarely a time it would throw him off when his boyfriend acted like this. He would even gladly join his game. But not now. Not when Mu Qing was here, still confused. Mu Qing, on the other hand, was not even listening. His head shut off after he realized he had to stay stuck in here for another hour. Or worse, maybe even longer. Though it didn’t feel like he couldn’t breathe anymore at the thought of being trapped with two alphas like at the beginning, he still felt uneasy. Mu Qing needed some time alone to think about what he wanted.
Pei Ming took Mu Qing zoning out as a sign that he had gone too far. “Shit, pretty, I’m sorry. I was just jok—.” His eyes narrowed. “What the?” he trailed off as he stepped closer to Mu Qing. Only now did Mu Qing realize something was wrong.
“What?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.
“What happened to your neck?”
Mu Qing felt his heart sink and immediately covered his scent glands with his hand without even bothering to look at what had made Pei Ming ask him that with so much worry it made his knees feel like jelly. It was as if only Pei Ming’s question made him aware of the throbbing pain on his neck. He knew it was the scent blocker that was still on his scent glands that made his skin look red and irritated.
“Nothing,” Mu Qing replied.
“What the fuck do you mean by nothing?” Feng Xin had also seen what had made Pei Ming trail off mid-sentence — something he never did — and had approached him too. “You want to tell us that this is nothing?” he said, pointing at Mu Qing’s neck.
“Yeah.”
Feng Xin’s mouth fell open. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he said way louder than he meant to, making Mu Qing flinch. Pei Ming grabbed his hand. “Hey, stop. We can talk abou—.” Feng Xin cut him off by slapping his hand away.
“No, the hell I’ll stop,” Feng Xin snapped. “There’s obviously something wrong with him, so why can’t he tell us?”
Mu Qing scoffed, making Feng Xin divert his attention back to him.
“What’s so funny?” he pressed out, jaw clenched.
“It’s funny you think I’ll tell you something just because you think that whatever happened earlier meant something.”
“What the fuck? What’s wrong with you?” Feng Xin growled as he shoved a finger into Mu Qing’s chest.
“Okay, that’s enough, Feng Xin,” Pei Ming said as he pulled the other back, placing himself between the two as he saw Mu Qing’s clenched fists ready to hit. It seemed like they were falling back into old patterns. Feng Xin seemed to have noticed that too.
He scoffed. “What, you really wanted to hit me?”
“If that’s what it takes to knock some sense into your small brain, gladly,” Mu Qing sneered.
“Sure, let’s do this. Looks like you missed getting your ass beat up,” Feng Xin said as he pushed past Pei Ming, and Mu Qing stepped forward, ready to strike.
Pei Ming had had enough of this. Before they both could throw a strike, he caught both of their wrists, pulling them toward him. “What the hell do you think you guys are doing?” he said once he was sure they both couldn’t free themselves from his grip. “Are you seriously going to act like children? After everything that happened?”
Feng Xin opened his mouth to interrupt him, but Pei Ming wasn’t planning to let him speak. “I love you, Feng Xin, I really do, but can you shut up for a second and listen?” Feng Xin still looked like he wanted to say something, but in the end he closed his mouth, waiting for Pei Ming to continue.
“It was you who came to me every time you fought with Mu Qing to tell me how bad you feel for hurting him. Even though your ego wouldn’t let you apologize, you always wanted to take back your blows.”
Feng Xin felt his face heating up. “What? No, I-I—.”
Truth is, he didn’t know what to say. The fact was that what Pei Ming said was true. He never wanted to hurt Mu Qing. And to think that he nearly did now, or probably already did — if not physically, then at least emotionally — made his stomach churn violently.
Pei Ming knew Feng Xin wouldn’t do anything now and let his wrist go. Instead, he turned to Mu Qing, giving him his full attention.
As Mu Qing heard what Pei Ming said about Feng Xin, all the anger he had vanished in an instant. Instead, his eyes softened and he felt bad for even thinking of falling back into the way things were in the past. He too never really meant to hurt him. The other just had this thing about always ticking him off like no one else. And like the hothead Feng Xin was, he also never backed away from a fight. How could Mu Qing have done that then?
“And you, pretty, why did you say these things?” Pei Ming asked. His voice was serious, but there was still a hint of softness in it.
Mu Qing shook his head. Of course he knew why he said that. He was afraid. Afraid of being exposed. He was so scared that Pei Ming and Feng Xin would see him differently. That they would love him less if they knew he was an omega and not a beta. But he could not say that. Because that would tell them that he had accepted their love for him. Even though he still didn’t know if he deserved that, he was more tired of running away than accepting something that wasn’t meant for him.
“It’s fine. You don’t have to answer. But I want you to know that Feng Xin just acted like that because he was worried for you. I’m not saying it was the right way, but it’s just how he is. He thinks with his heart first. And in that moment the only thing in his mind was whether you’re okay.” He grabbed Mu Qing’s chin and tilted his head up. “Can you understand that, pretty?”
Mu Qing nodded. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean what I said,” he added, his voice wavering. The last thing he wanted to do now was cry. But the fear that he messed up was making his throat close up. It would be so easy for them to throw him away. After all, he was nothing more to them than someone they maybe cared for more than they should.
That was already everything. He was not officially theirs.
At the sound of Mu Qing’s unstable voice, Feng Xin immediately rushed forward, pulling him into a hug. “No, don’t apologize, love,” he whispered into Mu Qing’s ear. “I should be the one apologizing. I didn’t mean to raise my voice or hit you.” Feng Xin gently pushed him back so he could see Mu Qing’s face. “I’m sorry for scaring you. And I’m so, so sorry for making you think that you can’t do anything wrong. That we would leave you the moment you mess up.”
Mu Qing’s eyes widened. “How? How did you know?”
He grinned. “Love, if I can tell by your shadow that it’s you, do you think then that I won’t know a simpler thing, like what the person I love thinks?”
Mu Qing felt his heart skip a beat. Their actions already showed him that they loved him. But hearing it was another thing.
“You love me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
At the hopeful tone in Mu Qing’s voice, Feng Xin wanted to do nothing more than kiss him. He wanted him to know how much he did love him. But he knew this wasn’t the moment.
“Of course I do. I know it may be too early to say that, but you don’t know how long I waited to tell you that, my love.” Feng Xin stepped back as he felt a hand on his back.
“He’s not the only one who wanted to tell you that.”
Mu Qing had averted his head to hide his flushed face after Feng Xin spoke. But at the sound of Pei Ming’s voice, he looked back up.
“I’m sorry we’re both overwhelming you with that now, but you need to hear it,” he said as he brushed away a falling tear from Mu Qing’s eyes. “You need to hear it now because we don’t want to make you feel like this is just something temporary. That you are temporary. Because it’s not, pretty. I love you too much to ever let you go again.”
Despite the fact that Mu Qing tried to suppress his tears, he couldn’t do it anymore. He had never felt so much warmth in his chest. It was like his heart was slowly starting to crack.
“You don’t have to say anything back yet,” Feng Xin had stepped closer after giving Pei Ming his own moment with Mu Qing. “We’ll wait until you’re ready. Just don’t forget you have a place now at our side no matter what.” “The only thing you need to do is try. To try believing you’re worthy of the love we have for you.” Pei Ming cupped Mu Qing’s face with his hands. “Can you do that for us, pretty?”
Mu Qing nodded.
“Words. We need words, love.”
“I’ll try,” he whispered.
This time he really meant what he said. For the first time in his life, Mu Qing was ready to try something that scared him. Pei Ming pressed a small kiss onto his forehead. “Thank you,” he whispered. His lips brushed once more over the other’s forehead before stepping back.
“You really don’t want to tell us what happened with your neck?” Feng Xin couldn’t help but ask again. Seeing how Mu Qing’s skin started to get redder and redder, he couldn’t ignore it anymore.
But before Mu Qing could answer, Pei Ming cleared his throat. “I think I know what’s happening,” he stated carefully, as if he was trying not to corner Mu Qing again. Mu Qing already knew he had grasped what was going on. Pei Ming was not a former general in war for nothing. He couldn’t have fooled him any longer. Pei Ming searched Mu Qing’s eyes for permission to tell Feng Xin. He simply nodded. It didn’t matter now anyway. If Pei Ming already knew, what was the difference if Feng Xin also knew?
“You know betas don’t have scents? At least not as strong as alphas and omegas,” Pei Ming said, turning his attention to Feng Xin.
“Yeah, I know that. I’m not that stupid.”
“Great, so you also know that some omegas use scent blockers to mask their scent if they don’t want everyone to know that they’re an omega?”
“Yeah, so wha—” Feng Xin’s eyes widened and he whipped his head to Mu Qing. “You have scent blockers on?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Mu Qing mumbled as he avoided eye contact. He was too scared of what he would see in Feng Xin’s eyes. Disgust? Hate? Still the same care and… love?
Mu Qing only lifted his head back up as he felt Feng Xin’s scent in his nose. He was now standing so close that Mu Qing felt his breath on his neck. But instead of looking into Mu Qing’s eyes, Feng Xin’s gaze was set on his neck. The scent blockers had been too long on Mu Qing’s scent glands, and his once pale skin had the color of dried blood. A finger brushed over his irritated skin, making his breath hitch.
“Can I remove them?” Feng Xin asked softly as he searched the other’s eyes for any signs of discomfort.
Mu Qing nodded.
“Use your words, love.”
“You can remove them,” he whispered.
He held his breath as Feng Xin’s calloused fingers gently removed the scent blockers he’d always worn when he was not in his palace. He felt so naked — so vulnerable — with them gone now.
The moment the scent blockers dropped to the ground, a sharp inhale was heard behind them. At the same time, Feng Xin stumbled a few steps back.
“Shit, pretty. Who knew your scent is as sweet as your face?” Pei Ming said breathlessly.
“Fuck, don’t you ever dare to wear them again when you’re with us,” Feng Xin stepped closer again, lifting the other’s chin with his fingers. “Your scent is fucking addicting.”
Mu Qing felt his face heat up. “What the hell?” he stepped back. “Stop saying these things,” he said, his face now completely flushed.
“No, no, keep going, baby. Look how pretty he looks all flustered,” Pei Ming’s amused voice sounded from behind them.
“Oh yeah?” Feng Xin smirked as he stepped closer. “You liked me complimenting your scent so much that there is not a single place on your face that’s not red?”
Mu Qing wanted to push him away, but Feng Xin caught his hands before he could. “No running away anymore, love,” Feng Xin whispered into Mu Qing’s ear, pressing a soft kiss behind it.
“I’m not running away, idiot,” Mu Qing stammered, ears red. “Have you not heard anything about personal space?”
“Oh, I did,” he replied, grinning.
“Then back up.”
Feng Xin cocked his eyebrows and lowered his voice. “Hm, how about no?”
“What?”
“You heard him,” Pei Ming drawled as he stepped toward them, now only inches away from Mu Qing. “It looks like he has no intention of letting you go,” Pei Ming lowered his head. “Neither do I.”
Mu Qing was sure there was not a single bone left in his body that was not a flustered mess. The two alphas were so close, he could feel their warmth against his body. He closed his eyes for a moment to make his body listen to him again. But no matter how hard he tried, his legs wouldn’t move an inch. So he opened his eyes, glaring at the two. “What’s this going to be when it’s finished?”
Instead of answering him, Pei Ming turned his attention to Feng Xin, smirking. “Baby, don’t you think we’ve told him enough how much we love him with our words?” Feng Xin smirked too, knowing where his boyfriend was headed. “Yeah.”
“Then how about we show him our love?”
“Exactly my thought,” he replied, turning his attention back to a now wide-eyed Mu Qing. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Enough with talking,” Feng Xin said as he brushed his fingers once again over the reddened skin on Mu Qing’s neck, making him shiver. “Does it hurt?” he asked, his voice tightening.
“N-no.”
“Don’t lie, love,” he said as he pressed a kiss onto the irritated skin, making Mu Qing’s breath hitch.
Mu Qing rolled his eyes. “God, you’re so annoying, you know that, right?”
“Sure, if it’s annoying to care about you, then I’ll gladly be as annoying as I can.”
“Whatever,” he said, rolling his eyes once again. Mu Qing still didn’t know what he should feel about all the attention he was getting now.
“Only a little,” Mu Qing mumbled at last. “It hurts only a little.” Feng Xin couldn’t hold back the proud smile appearing on his face.
Mu Qing was starting to open up and let him and Pei Ming in. It took only a couple of centuries, but it’s better than never. Looking at Pei Ming, he had the same thought. “Thank you for telling us, pretty,” he said softly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Mu Qing’s ear.
“How long was the scent blocker on?”Feng Xin asked.
“Four days,” Mu Qing mumbled, already knowing they wouldn’t like the answer.
“Four days?!” Feng Xin exclaimed, eyes wide. “Don’t you know how harmful these things are for your body? And you wore them for four days straight?”
“It’s not like I had planned to,” he said, rolling his eyes. “I just forgot to change them.”
Feng Xin rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing. “You really need to start taking care of yourself.”
“It’s okay if you can’t,” Pei Ming’s voice softened. “We’re now here to make sure you won’t neglect yourself anymore.”
“Right,” Feng Xin said, smirking. “Starting with taking care of hiding your scent.”
Mu Qing furrowed his eyebrows. “And how do you think you can do that? Scent blockers are the only way for an omega to hide their scent.”
“That’s not the only way,” Pei Ming stated, his tone light.
“Yeah? What’s your genius way?”
“We scent you.”
Mu Qing’s mouth fell open. “What the hell are you talking about?”
This time it was Feng Xin who answered him. “He’s right. We can use our scents to mask yours. After all, alphas’ scents are stronger than those of omegas.” Mu Qing opened his mouth to say something, but Pei Ming cut him off. “Before you say it’s too suspicious if you suddenly smell like us, you can just tell them that we sparred together. They know how physical you and Feng Xin always get in your fights. Because Feng Xin spends a lot of time with me, it only makes sense if my scent is also on you.”
Mu Qing closed his mouth. He couldn’t say anything else against this idea. Mu Qing didn’t want to make them think he was already rejecting them. “Fine. But if that doesn’t work, I’m putting my blockers on again.”
“Sure, but it will work,” Feng Xin said, grinning.
Mu Qing rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help the fond smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
“But let’s not rush anything now,” Pei Ming said. “We’ve been close enough for the past hours that you already smell like us. That should be enough for now.”
Mu Qing felt his chest loosen at his words. He thought he would be okay, but to be honest, he still wasn’t ready for too much physical closeness. No one had touched him this gently like they did in the past 800 years. His body had already forgotten what it felt like being held like it meant something. Like he meant something. And of course Pei Ming knew that. That’s one of the things that made it so easy for Pei Ming to sneak into his heart — to be understood without words.
“Thank you,” Mu Qing whispered. “No need for that, pretty,” he said fondly.
Feng Xin clapped his hands. “Okay, that’s enough talking. We’ve been talking for the past hour and there are still no signs of rescue,” he said, turning to where the entrance of the cave was. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m really getting tired,” his gaze once brushing over Mu Qing and then to Pei Ming.
Pei Ming immediately got it. He pretended to yawn. “Yeah, me too,” he said, stretching his arms behind his back. “How about we use the rest of the time waiting to rest a little?”
Only now did Mu Qing realize how tired he was. Letting his walls down that he had built for centuries did cost him a lot of energy. Not to forget the fact that it was the first time he tried to really understand his feelings. Mu Qing was simply worn out and overwhelmed. He knew Feng Xin had realized that, and he also knew that Feng Xin knew he wouldn’t admit it. That’s why he pretended to be tired himself and made Pei Ming pretend too. But he didn’t mind. He was actually glad he made that proposal.
“Sure, if you guys want, do whatever you want.”
“Great,” Feng Xin flashed a grin as he grabbed Mu Qing’s hands and pulled him down so they both were sitting on the ground, with their backs leaned against the stone wall. “But I can’t rest alone. Would you keep me company, my love?”
“What? Why me? Ask your boyfriend,” Mu Qing said, waving his hands to Pei Ming, who was still standing but with a smirk on his face.
“But you’re now my boyfriend too, no?” Feng Xin asked, his voice dripping with amusement.
“What?” Mu Qing stammered, ears red.
“Yeah, isn’t Feng Xin right?” Pei Ming said as he also sat down, leaning his back against the wall. “After all, I think it’s time to give it an official name,” he leaned closer to Mu Qing. “Unless you don’t want to?” he asked, grinning. Mu Qing’s face turned a shade redder. He opened his mouth but closed it right back. He couldn’t bring himself to answer. “You don’t have to call us that yet, just say yes or no,” Pei Ming said gently, not wanting to pressure the other into saying something he wasn’t ready to. “You wanna be called ours, pretty?”
Mu Qing felt his heart flutter. This was what his heart was yearning for — to have finally someone who was willing to call him theirs. To have finally found a place where he could let himself fall without needing to guard his heart. “Yeah,” Mu Qing answered, his voice barely above a whisper.
A smile appeared on Pei Ming’s face. “Thank you, pretty, for trusting us to keep your answer safe,” he said as he grabbed Mu Qing’s hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a feather-light kiss on it.
“We promise to make you feel like you deserve the love we give you.” At the sound of Feng Xin’s voice, he turned his flushed face to the latter. “My love, thank you for giving us a chance,” Feng Xin whispered as he pressed a kiss on Mu Qing’s forehead. Mu Qing wanted to say something back. He wanted to tell them he loved them too. But the words stuck in his throat. He couldn’t bring himself to say it. Mu Qing was afraid that once these words were out, everything would vanish.
That this was just a dream. Pei Ming cupped his face and turned him to look at him. “Don’t break your head, pretty. You don’t have to say anything back. We’ll wait as long as you need.”
Feng Xin nodded. “Yeah, the only thing you need to do now is sleep and trust us to keep you safe,” he brushed away a single tear that Mu Qing couldn’t keep in anymore. “Just let yourself go, you’re safe here with us,” Feng Xin whispered as he gently nudged Mu Qing’s head onto his shoulder. For a moment Mu Qing’s body tensed up and he wanted to remove his head, but in the end he didn’t. Feng Xin was right.
He was safe. He was allowed to not be strong all the time. So he let his body ease up and the drowsiness take over him.
“We’ll never leave you again, pretty,” Pei Ming whispered as he pressed a last kiss on the crown of his head. The last thing he felt was Pei Ming covering him with his robe before he let his body drift off.
For the first time in 800 years, Mu Qing felt this safe, falling asleep. For the first time in 800 years, he felt his heart at ease.
And after 800 years, Mu Qing finally accepted what his heart had yearned for. Even though he wasn’t ready to voice that feeling yet, he took a step in that direction by simply staying and trusting the people who were ready to give the world to him.