Work Text:
The Cure was playing softly on Mike’s radio and the afternoon sun shone lazily through the basement window. Mike and Will were sprawled across the couch, Will in the corner and Mike kneeling across from him, their tangled-up bodies sinking deeper and deeper into the couch. Kissing, lips feeling hot and bruised. Will’s breath was steamy against Mike’s cheek, his fingernails leaving marks on Mike's neck and dizzying him with a delicious sort of pain. Mike’s hands were digging into Will’s T-shirt and then sliding lower and lower until they were circling the waistband of Will’s boxers. Just as his fingers began ghosting the skin underneath the fabric, Will stiffened. Mike pulled away and braced himself against back of the couch with his hands.
"Hey - everything okay?"
"Fine" Will said, staring at Mike’s sweater on the floor. There was something wrong.
"Will?"
"Fine, Mike" Will repeated sharply. His lips were red and shiny and alluring. "Why did you stop?"
"Because you - I don’t know, I wasn’t sure if -"
He noticed that Will was trembling slightly. Mike put his hand on his shoulder, but Will still wouldn’t meet his eye.
"What were you going to do?" Will asked.
"I - I don’t know" Mike felt himself blushing. Not that he was lying. "Will, I don’t know, I wasn’t really thinking much -"
"Alright. You don’t have to say it. Just do it." Will dragged Mike’s hand mechanically from his shoulder to the naked skin of his waist. "This has been going on for how many months? Do it."
Mike felt a trickle of sweat running down Will’s back. Carefully he let go of Will and made to put his hand against Will’s face.
"Will, I don’t understand."
Will evaded his touch, and Mike could finally see his eyes, glassy in his flushed face, "Fine, I will do it then"
He dove forward, pushing Mike backwards down against the armrest so Mike had to unfold his legs. Will ran his hands across his stomach and in the next second he unbuckled the belt of Mike’s pants. Mike felt his breath hitch.
"Will! What are you doing?"
"Getting you off. What else" Will retorted almost angrily. He opened Mike’s fly but froze as he felt Mike’s hard-on against his hand.
Mike grabbed Will by his arms and pushed him back, so they were both sitting across from each other again. He felt Will trembling under his grip.
"Will, stop it." Mike said firmly.
Will was breathing heavily.
"I know Lucas and Max are doing it - have been for a while already. And everyone - and - just because I - it’s my fault but it’s - not you - It will - I - I -"
Mike felt like he was being punched in the gut. Will was fighting for his breath.
"Will, breathe. It’s okay. Breathe"
But Will didn’t seem to hear him. He was clutching his chest and Mike was beginning to feel panicked himself.
"Will. Breathe in with me. In… and out. I’m here with you. Breath slowly. That’s it. Focus on breathing for now."
Mike was carefully holding Will by his shoulders and telling him to breathe until Will began to sob. Mike wrapped his arms around him, pulling Will against his chest,
"Will, it’s alright. Shhht. It’s okay. It’s okay."
"It’s not. It’s not okay." Will’s voice was full of anguish. "I should spare you the pain and just end it."
"Of course you shouldn’t. Don’t say that."
"But I can’t - I don’t - I would of course - but I"
A new wave of sobs made him choke on his words. Mike pulled Will out of the embrace so he could look at him. Will’s face was already swelling from crying and he couldn't look Mike in the eye. It made his chest hurt.
"I don’t care if you’re not ready, Will. I’m with you because I love you and I want you and need you. Not because I want to have sex with you."
Will flinched. Then he said slowly.
"I will do it. Have. Sex with you."
Mike was beginning to feel sick. He dug his fingers firmly into the couch.
"Will. Listen to me. I don’t care. I only want to do - more if that’s what you want as well. That’s it."
"I don’t know if I ever" Will whispered, the shame on his face making Mike want to break something. As gently as he could, Mike said.
"That’s okay."
"But you- you’re no-"
"We’re taking this one day at a time, okay?"
Will was beginning to cry again. Mike felt himself tearing up as well.
"I’m sorry, Mike. I’m sorry."
Mike cupped Will’s face in his hands.
"Will. You have nothing to be sorry for, okay? Nothing. Not to me and neither to anyone else."
"I want to Mike. I want to want it. But all I see is - "
Will sobbed and Mike felt a single hot tear running down his own cheek.
"Kissing?"
"Is fine" Will’s voice quivered and Mike felt sick to his stomach.
"You’re lying." Dread washing over him. How often had he -
"Sometimes when it’s too intense - but it just - it’s okay, it’s not that!" Will’s voice hitched.
Mike felt like he was going to throw up. All the times Will had hesitated, stopped for a split second and Mike had brushed over it, thinking it was surprise or - or even pleasure. He was going to throw up.
"No - Mike please, I didn’t - " Will’s panicked voice sent him over the edge and tears began flowing down his face.
"You have to tell me." Mike begged, brushing his right thumb over Will’s cheek "Please. If I remind you of - of it - you have to tell me. I care about you. I love you. I can’t bear the thought of doing this to you. Please Will. Promise me, please."
Will’s mouth twitched and he nodded. Then he threw himself into Mike’s arms. Mike wrapped his arms around Will like his life depended on it. Will was holding onto him with the same deadly grip. At some point, the music tape had stopped and now there was a heavy silence filling the room. The only sound to be heard was both of their harsh intakes of breath. Mike felt Will’s heart beating against his chest.
"Will." Mike whispered. Whatever else he had wanted to say was lost.
But Will understood.
"Mike." He said. They clung to each other like a raft in the ocean.