Chapter Text
Silence. Silence followed the loud crash of Shroud's spider mech crashing into the roof of the SDN building. The victorious Z Team stared up at the burning pile of metal, the sound of pattering of rain against asphalt creating a too-calm atmosphere after what had just went down not even minutes ago.
Surprisingly, it was Phenomaman that broke the tense quiet.
"We fucked them in the face!"
That seemed to do the trick. The tension melted like ice sitting in a heap of fire, the group cheering loud and proud, some pulling others into hugs and others beginning conversations with each other. Robert stood in silence, seemingly processing everything that had just happened. He didn't think he still had it in him to kick ass after sitting on his butt for the past few months waiting for his mech to be fixed by Royd.
As Invisigal and Trackstar conversed, though, Chase's gaze snapped onto the burning roof with a sudden shout.
"Stop!"
Everyone's cheers seemed to halt, their attention drawn to the roof. And when Robert looked, he could've sworn he heard his heart fall onto the wet ground with a soft 'plap'. There, stood tall and unashamed, was Shroud, petting his dog like some knock off Bond villain. The whole world seemed to zoom-in on this moment. Beef. The chihuahua Robert adopted a few years ago after going through a mental health spiral not long after his run in with Flambae, just so Robert had someone at home to keep him company. But that little dog became so much more than just company. That beady-eyed, full of love pet became something of a son to Robert. It was sad to admit, sure, but Beef was all Robert had for years. He'd die before he let something happen to that dog.
Gasps seemed to pour out of the group, even pulling an exasperated, "No..." out of Robert.
"Is that... Trackstar?" Shroud began, stepping up onto a bit of rubble to make himself known. "Well, that is a surprise."
"Please... Elliot. Put him down." The now-blonde hero requested, lowering himself to the ground.
"Who? This fat fuck?" Shroud spat, grabbing Beef by the collar and dangling him over the edge of the building. "Like this?"
The crowd erupted in protest, but clearly made no attempt to intervene, whether out of fright or worry that Shroud would try something, Robert couldn't tell. But he could barely hear anything over the sound of his pounding heart filling his ears.
Shroud let out a low chuckle. "Why's everyone so tense? Don't worry. I'm not gonna drop him... 'Cause TrackBlondie there'll just swoop in and catch him anyway," Shroud explained, pulling the whining dog to his chest in a protective manner, his hand coming back up to stroke the chihuahua's head. "So, yeah, no. If I'm killing this dog, I'm gonna be sure he dies."
Robert couldn't hold his tongue. Not with how hard his heart was pounding and how fuzzy with adrenaline his vision seemed to get. Robert would go to the ends of the earth for that dog, so sue him if he sounded a little out of character. "Know this. If you hurt him you will die."
That pulled a humoured laugh from Shroud, his shoulders shaking from the effort. "No shit," He gritted out through his teeth, his voice low and gravelly. "So, why don't you, and only you Robert, fly your father's mech suit up here and give me my fucking Astral Pulse."
Robert's hands were already on his controls as the Red Ring crowded around his team, holding them back from making any stupid decisions while tensions were through the roof again.
"Oh and if the rest of you can surrender, that'd be helpful." Shroud continued.
Robert stared up at Shroud, his brows fixed in a furrowed state and his lips pulled tight. He pushed his arms forward, flying his mech suit up onto the building's roof and catching a look in the process. Namely, Flambae's.
"Come on out, don't be shy." Shroud hummed as soon as the suit's feet were planted on the ground. With the state that the building was in, it was almost a little surprising that it was holding up with two large mechs on top.
Robert grabbed the handle, giving it a good twist and pull to unsheath the Astral Pulse, watching the double helix shimmer for a moment before grabbing it. In the corner of his eye, he saw the prototype glimmering just as bright, and made a split second decision. Robert lowered the suit and opened the hatch, undoing his belt and hopping out onto.
"There he is. So predictable," Shroud let out as Robert took careful steps forward "I knew this little sloppy guy is your weakness," He held out Beef as he spoke. "I knew you'd have feelings for Blazer, who, I prefer as a blonde, but to each their own. I knew you'd take... what is it you call her? Invisigal? That you'd take Invisigal under your wing. Teach her the ways. Extra credit. That's why we planted her here."
What?
Conflicting thoughts ran through Robert. She told me she had refused the Red Ring's offer to join their ranks. But he couldn't linger on that for too long. Save Beef now, follow up with Visi later.
"Yeah, she works for us too. She gets two paychecks for the same job, look at her," Shroud confirmed as Invisigal grabbed a face mask, putting it on as she went invisible. "Aww. She's embarrassed... So, all that all to say, there isn't a thing you can do that I haven't modeled out. And once I have the Pulse, I won't need to predict. I'll just know. So don't fuck around, Robert. Not right now."
Robert lets his eyes close for a split second, contemplating his life choices before taking the final steps towards the man that had been the shadow of his life for the past 15 years.
"Same time, I just want a fair exchange," Robert said as he walked up.
"Just don't be an idiot and try to give me the shitty prototype," Shroud hummed. Robert's eyes flicked momentarily to Beef, who seemed quite happy in Shroud's arms, his little tongue sticking out and his head tilted at his owner as if Shroud hadn't been dangling him off the roof minutes prior. If only that naive pup knew. "I'm a bad person, but I'm a man of my word. Give me my pulse, and no harm will come to your stupid dog," He said, grabbing Beef by the collar once again and dangling him in front of Robert. "You all hear that? I've been through all the game theory on this moment a thousand times. I'm not steps ahead, I'm miles. So, don't fucking test me."
Robert took the final steps he needed to take, his hand that held the Astral Pulse in his hand stretched out to the villain's open palm. This moment seemed pretty final. The decision Robert would make could be the make or break moment for the life of Beef, himself, his team, or possibly the whole world. Robert wouldn't be surprised if Shroud was planning on world domination. In fact, he almost kind of expected it. So, for such a defining moment, Robert didn't expect to take it so easily.
Oh, fuck it, he thought as he dropped both the real Astral Pulse and the prototype into Shroud's hand.
As soon as Robert lost both pulses, Beef was dropped into his arms. Robert was quick to scoop the dog into his arms, cradling him to his chest. Finally. His heart can settle a little now knowing Beef was safe.
"What the fuck is this, Robert?" Shroud let out, holding both the pulses between his fingers.
"You said you wanted the Astral Pulse. I gave it to you. One of those is it." Robert hummed simply, Beef looking out into the distance as if what was going on didn't interest the pup even in the slightest.
"They look fucking identical, Robert." Shroud seethed, his gaze tearing from the two pulses up into Robert's half-lidded eyes.
"Look, you're right, I can't outsmart you..." Robert said, looking down at Beef, earning himself a lick on the nose from the ball of sunshine. "'Cause you know what? I'm not a smart guy. So, the only way to keep you from knowing what I'm doing is to not have any idea what I'm doing... which is how I feel all the time but, I trust my gut and I take my best guess just like you used to before you plugged all those fuckin' Christmas lights into your head. Before you were afraid to make your own decisions... Elliot." Before you killed my father, seemed to miss its spot in that sentence.
"Maybe we wait 'til we get home?" Armstrong called out from the ground, the guy Visi and Robert had took their time with breaking his arms in the bar fight a while ago.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Shroud snapped, glaring down at the Red Ring minion.
Robert watched as Shroud stared between the two, before throwing one of them behind him in the quickest fashion he could before Robert could see that Shroud was clearly nervous about making this decision, the discarded pulse clinking and rolling away. Shroud pulled down his hood and his mask came with it. "Fuck you." Spat Shroud as he took the red vial out from his head and swiftly replaced it with the pulse of his choosing. He had a 50% chance of getting this right. With his predictions never seemingly wrong, Robert couldn't see how Shroud could fuck up such an important decision.
It clicked into his head with ease, lighting up the villain with greenish-yellow bolts and a red fizzing aura, pulling a loud shout from Shroud. Shroud seemed to revel in the power, his reddened eyes rolling back as he lifted himself into the air, his hands clenching at nothing as the power flowed through him. Robert pulled Beef tighter against him, wanting to shield him from whatever was going to come their way, if anything. The last time Shroud destroyed the mech suit, he hadn't killed Robert, and it had came back to bite Shroud in the ass. Now, not killing Robert would be stupid. Once Shroud had acclimated to the power, he put himself down, kneeling to the floor for a moment.
"That? Wow. That was... worth the wait," Shroud looked to Robert, his eyes completely red with the power, before turning to address his minions beneath him. The Red Ring gang on the ground seemed to glow with the same red aura and lightning bolts Shroud had, clearly the augments they all had connecting them through the power. "You feel that, you fucking fucks? I told you! I fuckin' told you clowns! You feel the power? I see it now. I can see it all. It's all there. Every permutation. Every..." The words seemed to fall from Shroud, clearly in awe.
As Shroud turned back to make eye contact with Robert, the red fizzing had dissipated, and Elliot's eyes widened before he fell to the ground on his hands and knees, vomiting onto the ground beneath him.
"Uh, oh..." Robert let out, looking to Elliot with disgust The Z-Team seemed to do the same.
"Fuck. Wait." Elliot scrambled, looking up in shock. Now that was a first for Robert, seeing Elliot so scared and out of his element. It felt almost... nice. He locked that thought up tight and stuffed it to the back of his mind.
"Just a hunch, but I'm starting to think that you guessed wrong." Robert quipped. He couldn't help himself. He had been a sarcastic, teasing ass his whole adulthood. What was one more joke?
"No, no. It's just a---" Elliot cut himself off with more vomit, coughing up his guts onto the ground. It seemed some of the gunmen on the ground began to follow suit, vomiting around the Z-Team.
"Oh, this is fuckin' hilarious..." Chase let out.
"This can't be..." Elliot let out, clearly shocked with how sudden the tides had changed.
"You know, someone has to clean that up, right?" Robert hummed, the smirk now visible on his face. Okay, maybe two jokes. He was letting himself have fun with this.
"You son of a bitch..." Elliot growled, holding his stomach as he pulled himself up from the ground.
"Don't be mad. You lost. It happens." Robert continued, his tone of voice keeping that soft touch of teasing, but his guard was now up since Elliot was standing. Sure, Elliot wasn't in the best state, but that didn't mean he couldn't at least try and initiate a fight with Robert.
And Robert was right to keep his guard up. "Sorry, kid... we both lose."
Elliot had pulled his father's revolver from his pocket and pointed it directly at Robert, spinning the gun's cylinder so the bullet would fire this time unlike at the Sardine when Shroud tried to play Russian Roulette with Robert's life. As soon as the cylinder clicked into place, Shroud pulled the trigger without hesitation.
What a cruel fate, Robert thought, to die by my own dad's gun. The very same that got Robbie Robertson killed. By the same guy that killed him. Ironic, really.
Robert watched the damn thing as it came flying towards him and Beef. Speaking of which, Beef seemed to be in the line of fire, so Robert was quick to lower the dog so it would hit him instead. He wasn't joking when he promised himself he would die for this dog.
However, the bullet seemed to pierce through something--or rather, someone--and effectively slow the bullet down enough for it just nick his chest, sending Robert on his ass. Upon clutching his chest, he realised he wasn't dead nor dying, so he lowered his hand and watched the bullet fall into his open palm. By then, Courtney was visible, laying on the ground in front of Robert. He peeled her jacket to the side, seeing the bullet wound through her shoulder. For a second, it pulled him into the conversation he had with Toxic the first time he met him. Shroud had shot his father in the shoulder before killing him.
"Well, I guess I can still be surprised." It was now Elliot's turn to jest. But Robert wasn't taking it. He couldn't. Not when Courtney had just saved his life.
With a angered shout, Robert heaved himself up on heavy legs and pushed them like pistons towards Elliot, pouncing on his chest and tackling to him to the floor. It was a terribly messy blur, on his knees and pummelling heavy, tight fists into the face beneath him. Robert couldn't stop himself, his heart pounding in his ears loudly. The adrenaline from before had returned, reborn anew into a phoenix as he pushed his body weight into those punches, feeling every crack and crunch under tense knuckles. He could barely hear the Z Team over the sounds of his own grunts and the dizzying rush coursing through him.
But the powered superheroes wiped the floor with the Red Ring minions within 30 seconds. By then, Robert and Elliot were staring at each other, Robert's chest heaving heavy and his breath huffing loudly between them. Shroud's bloody face stared up at Robert, swollen and bruised already.
"Please..." It was barely audible over the sound of the rain and Robert's heavy breathing. The Z Team had cleaned up their fight just in time to watch on.
But Robert was mad. Not mad with anger, but with crazed vengeance. It boiled and bubbled in his head like a sick fever he couldn't sweat, sending him almost nauseous if it wasn't for the surplus of oxygen flowing through him at his heavy breaths. He had Elliot right where he wanted him, the man that had stolen his latter teenage years from him. The man that had haunted his dreams and kept him up at night when Robert was at the lowest point in his life. The man that had stolen his father before Robert got the chance to ask "Why couldn't you love me?" after a childhood of feeling like he could never have been enough for his father. And now he'd never get that answer. That feeling of knowing, even if it was an answer that he wouldn't have liked. Or an apology at the very least. Just to dull the ache of never feeling good enough, that feeling that had become so familiar to Robert as it had been clinging to him from a young age.
No. Robert could never be comforted now. He could never get the relief of knowing why his father raised him the way he did. And it was all Elliot's fault. So, Robert's entire life as Mecha Man had led up to this moment. Every day he spend protecting LA and every night he spent tossing and turning with vivid nightmares and sleep paralysis had brought him to this moment. This life changing moment where Robert couldn't decide whether or not he'd live his ways to regret it. Not that he could think clearly enough right now to weigh up his decision.
So, there was only one way to find out.
He lifted his arms that had been pressed to his sides, heavy as the burdens that lay on his back, and pressed his arms around Elliot's neck. He pushed back against the villain's struggle as Elliot pressed his hand against his face in a feeble attempt to push him away, but Robert was quick to shove him off and squeeze tighter. Feeling the throat beneath his fingers struggle, he squeezed tighter until there was no struggle at all due to no breath going in or out. Hands came up to Robert's tense shoulders, gripping weakly in a second attempt for Elliot to try and save himself, but it was wasted energy. Eventually, the hands landed against Robert's, desperate and scared.
Robert's brain had almost completely switched off, his whole world zoned in on this moment. On Elliot, struggling and writhing under his tight grasp. He couldn't register the pain in his hands from how tight he was gripping, or how loud he was being with the sound of his own animalistic grunts through his own struggle. It didn't help that the team on the ground were all quiet now, his noises practically echoing through the torn up parking lot. Turns out, when you're trying to strangle someone when you have internal bleeding, it isn't that easy. But, his carnal need for revenge won out, and the team watched their dispatcher's tight and tense arms, none of them brave enough to step up to the herculean task of trying to tear Robert away from this moment.
And so, Elliot's hands reached up once more, unable to even grab Robert before they fell limp to the ground.
In that moment, Robert came back to his senses, his eyes flickering to his own reflection in the puddle. Crazed. Manic. Deranged. But he had to pick himself back up, because now he had another objective. To save Courtney before she bled out on the floor behind him.
He turned around, noticing Beef just sitting there casually as if Robert hadn't just choked a man to death, and stood quickly to go over to Courtney. He lifted the mask from her face and pulled her up from the ground, supporting her weight despite feeling weak himself. They stood silently, staring at each other as the sun rose on the horizon. Robert wasn't sure what to do or say, his mind spinning with conflicting thoughts, before the woman in his hands fell to the floor.
Once back-up and EMTs had arrived, Courtney was swiftly seen to and bandaged up as the Z Team and other powered heroes cleaned up the mess around the car park and surrounding area.
"How am I the one on a stretcher when you look like hammered shit?" Courtney let out, and Robert couldn't help but grin at her. She wasn't wrong. Robert did feel like shit. Whether that was due to the overwhelming amount of injuries he had sustained the past few days, because he was coming down from the adrenaline high from killing a man, or a disturbing amalgamation of both, Robert had no idea.
"Be that as it may, you did get shot by a gun," Robert responded simply, the EMTs working with others in the background. "Hospital check is pretty customary after that."
"It didn't hit anything. Bullet went straight through." Courtney shrugged simply, looking up at Robert with an unamused expression.
"Yeah, about that. Quick hero lesson: when you jump in front of a bullet, you're supposed to actually stop it," Robert said, the EMTs beginning to wheel her out as they spoke. He wasn't entirely wrong. There was rubble all around for Courtney to use as a shield at the last second, or use the ample time Elliot spent talking to incapacitate the idiot by whacking him with a piece of rubble. She clearly knew something was coming, anyway, since she was already standing in front of Robert. "You know? It's kinda the whole point."
As they left the entrance of the SDN building, the Z Team outside erupted in cheers for Robert's hero, Prism using her ability to imitate fireworks, to which Robert stared up in awe at for a moment as he followed the gurney.
"The fuck is this?" Courtney let out, clearly confused by all the niceties
"Maybe you should let a nice moment be nice every now and then." Robert answered, wearing a smile as they walked through the clapping crowd.
"Okay. Okay. Chill out, weirdos." Courtney smiled, propping her arm onto the side of the gurney to use her hand as a rest for her head as the team chanted "Not a bitch!" around her.
Once they got closer, Mandy walked over. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"
"This is-- this just a precaution." Courtney reassured her.
"Look, all of this was a real..." Mandy paused, trying to find the right words.
"Clusterfuck?" Courtney finished with a raised brow.
"Shit show," Mandy returned with a warm smile. "Actually, I was gonna say poop show but I'm trying to sound like less of a dork."
"It's already working." Courtney offered, and Mandy put her hand in Courtney's.
"I hope the fact that I've always rooted for you makes up for ever doubting you." Mandy said honestly.
"It does." Courtney smiled, squeezing the hand in hers gently.
Robert interjected with a smirk. "I don't blame you. I mean, look how untrustworthy she looks." He teased, pulling a gentle smirk from the injured ex-villain.
"There's always a home for you here, Courtney." Mandy finished.
"I appreciate that."
Mandy moved the hand from Courtney's hand to Robert's shoulder, and he gave her a soft nod. Mandy stepped back, and they continued their approach to the ambulance.
"I guess your girlfriend's alright." Courtney quipped softly.
"She's not my girlfriend." Robert answered quickly, looking down at Courtney. Sure, there had been a little something between them, but Robert didn't have the guts to pick it up and let it pass. Something something, always feeling unworthy and never good enough to let himself have nice things. But right now wasn't about them, nor Robert and his problems.
"Then you're an idiot. Cause it's obvious she wants to fuck you."
Robert was quick to let the remark roll off his shoulders as they approached the back doors of the ambulance. Robert had watched that ship sail into the horizon and never watched it come back. So he wasn't going to force it.
"So, here we are. Looks like you did it." Robert hummed.
"What is the 'it' you're referring to?" Courtney asked.
"A lot, really. You're not a bitch, apparently. At least according to them." Robert hummed, looking in the direction of the team.
"Well, what do they know?" Courtney jested.
"Very little, yeah. But there's also all that, you know, really heroic shit you did. Saving my life and all. That was cool," Robert continued, looking back down at Courtney. "Does that make you a hero now?"
"No." Courtney was quick to answer. Robert didn't know if it was because Courtney just didn't believe in herself or she never had any intention of being a hero. If it was the latter, then it would be pretty weird since she saved Robert.
"I think it might though." Robert offered, hoping to give her that hope that mentors are supposed to give to their students. Or in this case, co-worker. Perhaps Courtney would let that little bit of hope in and use it to grow a passion for heroism.
"Alright, let's do it." Courtney said towards the EMTs beside her. Robert stepped back as the medical professionals stepped in, carrying her gurney into the back.
"Take care of her. Let me know if it's serious." Robert says
"I will." Courtney returned. Robert knew that she probably wouldn't and he'd probably find out through paperwork that would appear on his desk about her injury report and the steps they would need to take to reintegrate her back into the team while she recovers. The number of steps would depend on how severe the injury.
The team watched as the ambulance's doors closed and drove away with Courtney in it.
It gave Robert a moment to himself as he pulled out the Astral Pulse that had been sitting in his pocket and watching the double helix glowing brightly despite the sun rising higher. It was comforting for him. The pulse reminded him of his father. Sure, his father's parenting was mediocre at best and borderline neglectful at worst, but Robert liked to pretend it went differently. It made the pieces of his father that Robert held onto better. It made Robert feel better. However, it just made reality all that more depressing.
Once he lifted his head, he watched Flambae walk past with Sonar and Prism as he said something about 'never taking a bullet for Robert'. He paid no attention as he looked over to Chase who was being interviewed by LA Network. Robert couldn't hear what they were saying, but he knew Chase was swearing as always, which begged the question as to why Chase was chosen to be interviewed. Robert watched as the camera was pointed towards his team and they all reacted proudly. He couldn't help but feel a swell of pride in his chest. If you had told Robert when he first started that he would've taken down Red Ring using these bunch of idiots, he would've rolled his eyes walking away while sipping on his black coffee.
Robert was swiftly pulled out of his thoughts by an arm larger than most of his body wrapping around his shoulder. He quickly identified the man as Royd as they engaged in some friendly banter as always with Robert pouring in the compliments about Royd's stellar performance against the Red Ring. They wrap up with a fist bump and Robert looks over to find Mandy sitting on a car drinking a bottle of beer. So, as any person would, he decides to join her.
However, as he was taking some steps over, he was distracted by another conversation.
"Whoa, hold on, you got the wrong gal. She's with us." Punch Up said towards the police officers holding Coupe in hand cuffs.
"There must be some mix up. Easy mistake. She looks scary." Malevola, the literal half-demon, join in.
"What do you think?" Mandy asked towards Robert, who she had noticed Robert walking over. "Did they earn a pardon?"
"Is that my call?" Robert asked.
"You're the one that'll have to work with them...again." Mandy reasoned.
Robert didn't take long to make his decision. Coupe was a good member of the team when she was working with them. Scary, sure, but she got the work done. It had just been a difficult decision for Robert to make so early on and she got the short end of the stick. So, he turns to the police van.
"Yeah sure, why the fuck not?" Robert shrugged softly. "Hey! Yeah, nope, they're with us!" He shouted towards the officers, and Mandy gave a raise of her beer bottle in confirmation.
Once Coupe was released and with the team, the group drinking, cheering and letting the press take pictures of them all together with Prism making more fireworks and Flambae letting off flames because, well, it looked cool, Robert turned back to Mandy.
"Hey, so, you maybe got an extra one of those?" Robert asked in reference to the bottle in her hand.
"I do, actually." Mandy said, reaching down to get a bottle for him.
"Really? I wasn't, I mean-- where'd all those extra beers come from?" Robert asked, looking down at the boxful.
"Oh there's a ton of booze in the Rec Room. That's where they got it," Mandy responded quickly and calmly. "I'm honestly shocked it hasn't turned into an issue," She quipped, trying and failing to open another bottle with her fingers. "Shit. No powers."
That pulled a smirk from Robert, taking the bottle from her. "I got it. Forced to open beers like a normie." He returned, using the car she was sitting on to crack the lid open on the rear.
"I'm getting drunk like a normie too," Mandy hummed. "I've had half a beer and I'm already feeling it."
They sat together for a bit, Robert watching Chase zip around in the sky with Beef and the pair talking about the amulet and how long things would stay like that for. Until, Mandy steered the conversation in another direction.
"So... do you feel better?" Mandy asked, but the unsure tone in her voice told Robert that this conversation probably wasn't going to be an easy one.
"Oh, after killing Shroud?" Robert returned for clarification. His smirk fell, slightly hoping that he would be given an out to this conversation.
"Yeah, Robert. Why? Did you kill more than one person today?"
"A little, I guess. I dunno. It was kinda like masturbating." Robert shrugged,
"Okay I really can't wait to see where you take this." Mandy said, and from the corner of his eye she could see her smirk.
"You know, it felt good when it was happening, but the second it was over I was instantly filled with shame." Robert explained better. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He didn't know what he felt when it was happening. The seering pain of overexertion in his arms and hands were aching and his head was throbbing from the overwhelming feelings running through his head. And the disconnect he felt between his mind and body felt terrifying. But the adrenaline. The adrenaline felt incredible. He felt all powerful. It was dangerous. In that moment, he was dangerous. A killer.
Mandy seemed to like that answer as it pulled a soft chuckle from her, but she schooled her expression a little as she continued. "I should let you know that you're suspended pending an investigation. Just a formality."
"Totally understand." Robert said. Despite feeling so conflicted internally regarding the situation, he couldn't help but smile. All his life he had been so good, doing what his father told him to, being well-behaved and hard-working in high school even after his father passed away and passing his exams. Even now, being the hero, fixing ex-villains wanting to be good. It felt good to do something bad for a change. That didn't mean he wanted to do it every day, he'd probably drive himself to insanity with that. But to experience it just once was enough for him to know what it felt like. To know that even though it's absolutely going to fuck him up, it felt good in the moment. And that was enough for him.
But talking about it now seemed to bring it all back. The tight grip he had around the neck of the beer bottle brought him back. The feeling of Elliot's windpipe being crushed by his hands and his pulse slowing down beneath his fingers and the blood flow ceasing altogether. It made Robert tense and his hands open out of fear. It seemed having his hands wrapped tight around something wasn't going to be easy without flashbacks for a while. However, opening his palms made the bottle in his hand fall to the ground with a resounding crash.
Robert looked down at the broken bottle and spilled beer. "Uh... shit, sorry..." He mumbled, standing up and clean it up, hoping Mandy didn't see the shake in his hands.
"Are you okay?" Mandy asked, suddenly concerned for Robert, who was trying to pick up the glass with his hands. "You don't have to clean it up. I don't want you to hurt yourself."
"It-it's fine... I can..." Robert trailed off, putting the glass into his hand. He managed to not cut himself but now he just had a handful of glass and no bin to put it in. He was also trying to ignore the staring the Z Team was currently giving him after he dropped the beer bottle.
They all knew Robert would be on edge. Hell, they had all watched and heard him strangle Elliot to death. So they understood if Robert wasn't doing the best right now.
"Robert, you can put the glass in the box." Mandy directed him, seeing that his hands were shaking but not wanting to mention it.
"Right... right, thank you," Robert nodded, putting the glass into the corner away from all the bottles so people wouldn't hurt themselves on the glass. Once he had finished, he stood straight and wiped his shirt on his hands. "Well, um... I think I'm ready to get going." He said, brushing his hands against the scuffed up SDN shirt he was wearing awkwardly.
Mandy seemed concerned for Robert's wellbeing, but she couldn't refuse him of leaving. He needed rest and time to process today's events. If Robert chose to spend his time poorly, she'll help him when the time comes. "Alright, Robert," She smiled, sliding off the car rear and resting a hand on his shoulder. "Take care of yourself, okay? Get some rest. I'll email you with further details of your suspension, but don't worry. I'll make sure nothing bad comes of it."
Robert gave a nod, unsure whether to trust her words. "Yeah, uh... see you later." He said, stepping away to head over to the group to retrieve Beef from Chase.
"Hey, kid. You alright?" Chase asked, still holding the fat chihuahua.
"Yeah. I'm just tired," Robert said, looking down Beef, who was now trying to wriggle out of Chase's arms and into his own. "I think I'm gonna head home."
"You want me to drop you off?" Chase offered. Now that he had the amulet, he could fly Robert back to his apartment in minutes.
"Nah. Beef needs a walk anyway," Robert said, taking Beef from Chase's arms. "Thank you, though." He said, giving his goodbye's to the team.
As he said his goodbyes, though, he could see their expressions. All of them, with their brows knitted with worry but their mouths curled in a soft smile. Some even offered and gave hugs. He hated it when people pitied him. Robert did this to himself, killing Elliot. He can deal with the consequences on his own without people being worried about him. He didn't want people to worry about him. He was a man, so he was going to act like one.
Robert placed Beef on the ground, walking away from the group and finding himself looping around the neighbourhood. He couldn't stop... thinking. About the day's events, the suspension, the time he'd have to spend by himself because of that. Robert didn't feel safe with himself, but he didn't know how to ask for help without feeling like a burden. Without feeling weak, as if reaching out for help meant that Robert was failing at something.
But he couldn't keep dragging Beef around on his depressing walk since the dog was getting tired and hungry. He needed to go back to his apartment. If not for himself, then for Beef. It's what his life became after adopting the chihuahua. Getting out of that plastic chair he used as a bed wasn't for himself, it was for Beef. And while he was Mecha Man, it was for the city. And while dispatching, it was for the Z Team. Now having neither of those at the moment, all he had left was Beef. Again. Depressing, sure, but that's all life seemed to be for Robert at the moment.
So, he carried his heavy legs through the streets and into his dingy apartment building, getting himself up the stairs and opening the door to his apartment. He never locked it. There was nothing to steal, unless if the robber wanted unperishable foods, dog food and toys.
As he stepped inside, he looked around at the empty place, letting out a heavy sigh as he filled Beef's food and water bowl before sitting in his plastic chair and staring out the window. What else was there for him to do? Stare at a wall instead? At least here he could see the bustling city cleaning up after the Red Ring's antics, giving Robert a little something to look forward to in the future. Protecting the city. Well, after his suspension was over.
For a moment, Robert looked down, seeing Beef curled up at his feet rather than on his pillow just to be near his owner. Beef always seemed to know when Robert was in his head. And Beef always knew that he was Robert's greatest comfort. So, Robert picked the chubby dog up and sat him in his lap, petting his head idly and trying so desperately not think about the way Elliot was doing the same when he had held Beef captive. The way his heart thrummed under his chest at the very notion of Beef's life being in danger.
He really didn't want to think about it. But what else was there? He had no one right now. Nothing to distract him from the thoughts pouring in one after another. He started the day a simple man and ended it as a murderer. How could he not think about that?
Eventually Robert went to his kitchen, pulling out whatever bottle of alcohol the team had left here when they had his housewarming party. He'd found comfort in bottles a few years ago, so why couldn't he do it again? Was it a bad idea? Absolutely. But he didn't have anything else to numb the mind.
For the rest of the day, he sat on his plastic chair petting Beef and taking gulps straight from the bottle until he'd fallen asleep, slumped and heavy.
Tomorrow was another day.