Work Text:
It was a rare moment of calm between shifts and an even rarer moment of alone time for Optimus, the decepticons had been disturbingly quiet these past orns so optimus had been making the most of it (after catching up with his long overdue reports that is) the buzzing of the small toy against his valve rim was like music to his audials, it was slightly oblong with indents for his servotips to grip comfortably but not wide enough to fill him.
Its original purpose was for agitating sediments at the bottom of energon cubes to ensure the additives ratchet prescribed were sufficiently mixed and consumed with no excuses and certainly no leftover residue.
However Optimus had been intrigued by the pleasant tingling and decided confiscate one to see if it could serve other uses.
That was megacycles ago now and it had become a pleasant habit whenever he found himself alone, ratchet had even remarked on his improved mood and positive readings at his last checkup, which in truth Optimus wasn't sure how to feel about but at least he knew it wasn’t harming him in any way.
He had of course tried it on his spike but much preferred the relaxed nature of a slow build valve overload even so he found that if he carefully angled the contraption up within himself he could feel the vibrations in his depressurised spike as well.
He was circling his entrance now letting the vibrations carry through the soft silicone of his valve to tease his secondary nodes further in, he sighed pleasantly as a particularly daring rotation almost reached his ceiling node and relaxed strutlessly into his berth he was content to let his charge gently crawl up as he worked himself over.
His internal calipers rippled and clenched around nothing as he teased himself with the small toy too small to fill him in any sort of satisfying way, lubricant squelched out of him with the movement dripping down his aft and onto the berth.
The whirring of his cooling fans joined the happy buzzing of the toy as he got closer to a lazily satisfying overload, his hips stuttered with each glancing pass over his anterior node and small zaps of electricity raced along his seams.
He was practically thrusting the thing in and out of himself now trading between the gentle pleasure of shallow interior sensors to the bright ecstasy of his now hot and throbbing anterior node.
His movements became timed with the throbbing at his core, hands and spark and node all in sync so, so close untill-
A sharp knock to his hab door and several things happened in tandem.
Optimus jolted and let go of the toy.
His calipers tensed and with a wet noise the still buzzing vibrator lodged deep into his valve nestling snugly against his ceiling node.
Both his modesty panel and his battle mask snapped shut on mortified instinct.
And to top it all off his impending overload went away with charge rerouting to battle protocols in his panic.
All this with an undignified yelp luckily stifled by the latter.
Temporarily stunned with lubricant covered fingers frozen over his now firmly closed panel he had the single thought - ‘this would happen to me wouldn't it’.
The knocking came again harsher this time.
Optimus stifled a curse as his valve cycled down on the toy as he tensed sending warm pleasure through his struts.
Prowls voice came stern even through the muffling of the door “I know it’s your off shift prime but you are urgently needed at the bridge”.
Optimus tried to quickly and discreetly disengage his panel locks and get the toy out but they wouldn't open! His frame convinced he was about to be assasinated refused to bare such vulnerable parts.
He resisted the hysterical urge feign deactivation and took a deep invent instead valiantly resetting his vocaliser before saying “of course prowl, I had merely slipped into recharge, my apologies I’ll be there as soon as I can”
He waited to hear the clank of prowls measured steps leaving so he could try again before rushing to the bridge but all he heard was an impatient sound prowl had picked up from the humans, for them it was called ‘clearing their throat’ from prowl it sounded like a car failing to start.
“Urgently” he stressed each syllable.
Taking a small moment to ask the matrix why this kind of thing happened to him and getting a ‘wisdom of the primes’ sized shrug in return he hung his helm in defeat.
Sighing, the prime hauled himself up from where he had been very comfortably reclined on his berth stumbling a bit as the toy settled somehow even more snugly against his ceiling node and regretfully wiped his hand off on his berth covers, it would have to do for now, the more pressing issue of the cursed thing buzzing in his valve was far worse and that would have to be ignored as well for the time being.
He only hoped for the small mercy that there would be no lubrication trails visible on his scuffed white thighs.
His brisk walk to the bridge had been excruciating with prowl walking at his flank he had to manually close several proximity warning popups he was so on edge.
He wasn't in danger of overloading (yet) though it did feel good (too good) more so he was keenly aware of prowls observant nature. He feared the tactician would somehow hear or maybe even sense the vibrations with those highly tuned sensor panels of his and - well he wasn’t sure, put him in the brig to cool off maybe? At least then he’d be able to discreetly try and remove it again or perhaps self service himself silly cameras be damned! maybe the elevated charge was melting his processor.
Curse the arks metal floors each heavy clanking step jolting his valve, he could feel his lubricants building up under his panel, his still alert node pressing up tortuously against the firm plating.
Ugh, thinking about it only made him more aware, his processor entirely devoted to the rhythm once again, he was glad at least that he normally had his battle mask up even within the ark because the small comfort of gnawing at the flexmetal of his derma was the only thing keeping him walking.
Declining to sit once they arrived at the bridge himself and the gathered autobots looked at what red alert had summoned them all there for.
It seemed like every decepticon currently on earth was milling around outside the ark with Megatron at the head flanked by Starscream and Soundwave. Megatron was shouting something something about winning the war and defeating the autobots once and for all, Optimus let out a strut deep sigh of course, of course!.
Megatron seemed to know the worst time for everything or maybe it was Soundwave.
“Any chance they’ll just get bored and go away?” he hedged maybe a little too sincere as prowl gave him a sideways glance.
“Data gathered from over 137 separate autobot/decepticon battles would suggest, no”
Resisting the urge to spontaneously combust which would definitely set red off, instead he said “well there’s just one matter I must take care of before we engage and then-”
But was overshadowed by Ironhide declaring no time to waste and that they should roll out while making the whole room look expectantly at their prime.
Optimus, the dutiful commander didn’t reduce down to his base molecules and slip into a drainage grate, but instead stood up straight (which he instantly regretted) and gave the order maybe slightly more aggressive than usual to gear up and roll out.
He tried to slip away for just a moment and eject the still STILL vibrating toy from his body but no as soon as the order left his glossa Ironhide and hound were herding him to the exit bay one excruciating (pleasurable) step at a time.
Megatron was deeply pleased with himself, Soundwave had been right this was primes off shift and the autobots were taking longer than usual to rally their troops while he and most of his decepticons stood around waiting.
Soundwaves cassettes (easily overlooked) along with Scrapper and Long Haul (not likely to be noticed missing with the remaining constructicons still here) were at one of the humans inferior energy farms harvesting as much energon as they could before the autobots caught onto their distraction tactics.
Megatron himself was here and not there naturally because he was the biggest threat and the rest of the stupid autobots wouldn't dare attack him without their precious prime leading the charge.
The plan then, should be considered a success because the next thing Megatron knew he was being tackled into the dirt by the prime himself, though Megatron’s rattled spinal struts protested that idea he was even more disappointed that he wasn't able to give the thoroughly mocking speech he had prepared on the way over.
Prime! He roared instead, giving as good as he got as the rest of the field devolved into chaos around them they grappled inelegantly and oh how Megatron loved bringing prime down to his level plating clanging together as they rolled around in the dirt.
Megatron keeping the plan in mind and not at all because he was enjoying himself was pulling his punches somewhat, drawing out the fight and revelling in the rawness of hand to hand, his fusion canon lay dormant as they traded grapples and nasty little release jabs at each others hinges.
Prime seemed particularly vindictive today with no grandstanding of his own in fact Megatron didn’t think he’d heard a single word out of the prime which was unusual their banter was an important part of this after all.
“Whats the matter prime” he sneered having caught the primes ankle with his own and was tightening his hold until their chest plates scraped together “woke you up from your nap did we?, you seem a bit sluggish”
The primes eyes widened minutely and then narrowed in anger but all that came from his vocaliser was a growl, Megatron used this momentary lapse to leverage himself and grab the primes arms while trapping his legs with his own.
Megatron’s pelvic block came down hard against the primes with a resounding clang and he swore he heard a choked off sound come from the mech below him but dismissed it.
“You're making it too easy prime” he wrenched the primes arms up with one servo using his weight to keep them secure against the ground, the other he closed around the primes neck cables cutting off the flow of energon.
The prime really started struggling then, writhing and bucking to try and unseat megatron who just laughed at the display.
“Come now prime, surrender and ill-” he didn't even get to finish his sentence as the primes optics flashed a dangerously bright blue small arcs of electricity crawling around his transformation seams.
“Ghhkk” was all the noise his opponent made.
Dumb struck Megatron acted on instinct and punched the prime as hard as he could in the stomach.
He faintly heard a strange ‘p-ting’ and then a ragged vrrrrr noise quickly overshadowed by the prime yelling out now in earnest.
“Off aahhh, get off! N-now megatron f-frag”
In Megatrons shock equal parts in what he thinks he might have witnessed combined with hearing the prime swear! His opponent managed to squirm out of his hold just barely invents coming ragged and knees barely holding his chassis up.
“M-megatron you fuh-” the prime tensed up again dropping to his knees “guh, you fragger I’ll hhhhhh” was that blush on his faceplate it was hard to tell with the battle mask but Megatron was sure of it just peaking over the edge the telltale hot magenta of embarrassment.
Optimus could barely think, that spawn of a glitch Megatron had popped the toy clean out of his valve with that stupid punch and it was now pressed between the solid metal of his unyielding panel and his throbbing hot node cruelly neglected until this point and now shockingly overstimulated - Optimus could barely bring himself to think it - after he’d overloaded under Megatron.
Even worse than that it had been a spectacular overload, he’d felt like his optics were going to burn out with the intensity and that dirty fragger Megatron just stared at him the whole time just as he was staring right now mouth slightly ajar and optics flicking between Optimus’ face and mortifyingly his panel!
He leveraged what dignity he had left as a prime to not cover his panel with his servo or check for escaped lubricants though he was sure he could feel something trickling down his plating. luckily he was already on his knees so he could hardly fall much further, physically at least
Megatron was still staring as Optimus tried to gather himself the unicron damned toy still buzzing happily against his node making it impossible to get his feet up under him.
Helm hung low he made a decision.
“Lets pretend none of this happened” Optimus barely kept his vocals steady as he continued “please”
Megatron was still just standing there it was actually becoming worrying, optimus held his stare as best he could node throbbing barely holding back another overload fans screaming at him to collapse somewhere and- was that smoke coming from Megatron’s barrel.
Stock still like a statue Megatron hadn't moved a single mechanometer but thin wispy streams of smoke were curling up from the barrel of what would be his gun in altmode.
Then movement came back all at once like an un-paused holovid.
“Yes…” he said dazedly body starting to turn away but eyes still fixed on Optimus “I agree that would be best”
Turning fully to bellow instructions at the decepticons the battle field cleared just like that.
With only autobots remaining ratchet wasted no time speeding towards optimus in altmode and urging him inside before speeding off once more back to base, once the ambulances rear doors closed Optimus put his face in his servos he knew there was no way to hide this from ratchet. The vrring sound was deafening in his cab the only other sound Ratchets engines.
“I knew you stole one of my agitators but I hadn’t guessed this is how you were using it you dirty old prime”
“Ratchet please I think my spark might extinguish if this goes on much longer”
“Oh don’t be dramatic, we’ll be back soon you big box of bolts”
Optimus groaned in relief
“Hey no overloading in my patient bay”
“Ratchet!!”
Some autobots could actually hear ratchets cackle from where they were left behind.
Back at the decepticon base Megatron’s facial expression hadn’t changed much but he was now sitting contemplatively on his throne, smoke still rising from his barrel and chin resting against clasped servos
“Soundwave”
“Lord Megatron”
“What just happened?”
Several moments passed before Soundwave answered
“Optimus prime: pervert”