Chapter Text
Everything is complicated and nothing is safe. When you’re between custody, parents aren’t a constant, they’re a choice. You chose the lesser of two evils. Still evil, but quiet. At least she knew how to pretend to be nice. She could wear the mask long enough to delay the damage, but it never changed. Hiding places weren’t hidden, and nothing was just your business. How could you blame her? She's only a mother, after all.
Her voice was as sweet as sugar. She always woke you up on time and tried her very best to get you to school early. You only lived about five minutes away from the school, but she always insisted on driving you. Don’t question her. She would probably recite a memory or two to you before reminding you of how special you are to her. Everyone thinks you’re special. Everyone wants you. That’s why you need to be protected. You’re too good. Too innocent. Outside is dangerous. She can’t help it. She's only a mother…
After that she would probably walk you to the entrance, checking her face twice before leaving the car. She would ask you if she looks pretty. It’s a trick. If you tell her she is pretty she’ll deny it and accuse you of lying to her. If you tell her she's not pretty she’ll start crying about how hard she worked on her makeup this morning.
“Yes mother. You look pretty.”
But of course, she wouldn’t answer in any of the ways you thought she would.
“So I’m ‘mother’ now? When you were little you used to call me mommy. Why don’t you call me mommy anymore?”
Don’t answer.
“Don’t you love me anymore?…”
You open the doors to the school lobby.
This was the best time of the day; when strangers were watching her. That was when she acted the most normal, if a bit performative. The good part is when you get to walk away. She never talked to anyone, but if someone approached her she would usually tell them how much she loves you. That might be the only truth that ever escapes her mouth. She does love you. Well… her version of you.
Expect a couple assholes to look at you sideways when she shouts goodbye to you in her same baby voice. You’ve tried to lay low at school to avoid any conflict, but sometimes that wasn’t enough. You brace yourself. “They’re only teenagers…” you tell yourself.
“Hey baby, does your mommy walk you to the park too,” chimes Ram, the linebacker at Westerburg High.
Your mother had already gotten in the car and left. Thank god. There were a few other people around the entrance giggling at you, apart from one.
You’ve done this before. You continue walking as if his sly comment had barely breezed by. Stay silent and keep your eyes ahead. If your mind is as stone as you look they can’t reach you.
Unfortunately for you, Ram’s little apostle Kurt doesn't take kindly to this. Kurt is only just as brazen if not a little more confrontational. You bet if you swapped them there would be no discernible difference, just like all the rest of the dogs on the football team. They're only begging for attention. You pity them. That is, until Kurt slid up next to you and started barking his usual nonsense.
“Did daddy pack your lunch today?” he sneered.
Despite all the witty comebacks you could have said, it would never have accomplished anything. You know their games. Instead, your face remains vacant. Let them pretend you’re afraid from the reaction they wish they got from you. You turn to stare at Kurt. Don’t break eye contact.
“My friend just asked you a question,” Ram barked.
…
…
After an uncomfortable two minutes of silence they eventually got bored and scampered off. There is no cheering for the seasoned victim. Only footsteps of a disappointed audience— apart from one singular person clapping. Slowly…
“How did you do that?”