Chapter Text
I Want You To Want Me
Second Year of University
Mafuyu and Uenoyama were in a little private inn in Hokkaido, having wrapped up a tour of Japan with Given two days ago. It had been a lot of wrangling to fit in their university exams and the shows, but they had just about managed it. Deciding they deserved a break after all that effort, and with Mafuyu’s 20th birthday just around the corner, Uenoyama had booked the room for them as a treat. It was a little out of town, and driving out to it through the snow had been a bit hair-raising, but it was oh so worth it once they’d arrived.
They’d snuck covertly into the room, which was booked under Uenoyama’s name only – he wasn’t sure what the attitude to two men sharing a room together would be here, and he’d rather just not find out. The room itself was lovely – a separate bed and living room, large bathroom, and the best part – a private onsen, with hot water piped in from the nearby natural hot pools. Mafuyu had dropped his bags then moment they got in and spun around the room giddily. When Uenoyama returned from a trip to the bathroom, he found Mafuyu on the floor in front of their little table, a bottle of sake and two glasses out.
“Where did you get that?” he asked, dropping down next to him.
“Akihiko gave it to me, as an early birthday present” Mafuyu said, pouring out a glass for each of them.
Uenoyama clinked glasses with Mafuyu and sipped at the sake. It was pretty good, actually.
“I thought you weren’t interested in drinking” he said, cautiously. He didn’t want to bring down the mood. But Mafuyu had good reasons to be wary of alcohol.
“Mmm. I’m not planning on getting hammered. And you’ll keep me safe, right?” Mafuyu said, sipping at his own drink, nostrils flaring a little at the unfamiliar burn.
“Always” said Uenoyama, kissing his cheek.
They leaned against each other as they talked, relaxing into each other’s company. With all the activity in the last few weeks, it was so nice to just slow down and be alone together. Mafuyu had some complaints about his final assignment marks (though he’d passed easily) and Uenoyama griped about the awkward layout of the stage at their last venue. As they spoke, they slowly made their way through more of the sake bottle – a little oblivious to how much it was affecting them on empty stomachs.
The conversation became sillier, and Mafuyu pulled out his phone, determined to tease Uenoyama. He opened up Given's Instagram page, where they had posted a shot of Uenoyama mid-guitar solo in their last show. His hair fell slightly into his eyes as he concentrated, lit up in the reds and purples of the stage lights. It was an attractive shot, and Mafuyu was not the only one who thought so.
“Have you seen these comments? ‘Ueno is so hot!’… ‘I’d let this man ruin me’… oh wow this one is very crude…” he held the phone for Uenoyama to read the last one, which was rather graphic. Uenoyama’s eyebrows shot upwards as he read it.
“Oh my god, how can people write this on a public page?” he grumbled, cheeks flushing. He still hadn’t gotten used to the attention he got from fans, particularly when it was this overt. Mafuyu dissolved into giggles, collapsing down onto his lap. “Hey! Mafuyu! Get your face away from there!” he said, poking Mafuyu in the back of the head to encourage him back up. Mafuyu nuzzled into his lap a little more then sat up, looking at him slyly.
“Mmmm Ritsuka, speaking of that… you haven’t let me have me give you a blowjob in ages.”
Uenoyama eyed Mafuyu. Perhaps the alcohol was affecting him more than they’d anticipated… then again, he’d always seemed to enjoy pushing Uenoyama’s nerves by saying things so plainly.
“You know I won’t risk your voice when we’re on tour, stupid. Anyway, don’t get ahead of yourself, we haven’t had dinner yet.”
Mafuyu pouted but allowed Uenoyama to order them some food. They had three days here – no need to rush. They ate slowly, idly going through some brochures for nearby tourist attractions, though not really convinced leaving their room was of any interest. By the end of the meal, the sake bottle was empty, and they were both rather tipsy.
Mafuyu put some music on his phone and pulled Uenoyama up, insisting they dance. As always, Uenoyama obliged him, only a little reluctantly. Mafuyu was amused to learn that tipsy-Uenoyama was a much better dancer than his sober-self, and they spun each other around, giggling and kissing. Mafuyu was just closing his eyes, parting his lips, when he was suddenly left standing alone. “Wha?” he said, a little put-out.
“Hey, Mafuyu – its snowing” said Uenoyama, looking out the window. “Wanna hop in the onsen? I’ve never been in one while its snowing.” Mafuyu couldn’t help but smile at the boyish wonder in his eyes. Uenoyama went to grab some towels and returned to find Mafuyu naked, waiting for him. He paused, looking him up and down.
Mafuyu grinned at him. “We have to be naked for the onsen, right?”
Uenoyama clicked his tongue and chased him outside. They both shivered violently as the cold air hit them like a wall. Uenoyama shed his clothes, and they showered as quickly as possible before sinking into the bath. Uenoyama tipped his head up, staring up as the snow fell down gently over them. Mafuyu watched him, enjoying the look of innocent joy on his face. He so rarely got to see Uenoyama truly relax.
“Stop staring at me.”
Mafuyu giggled again. He shifted in the water, settling himself between Uenoyama’s legs, leaning back against his chest. “You’re nice to look at, though.” He heard another tongue click from behind him as arms snaked up around him, pulling him in close.
They stayed there for a long time in silence, letting the stress of the last few weeks seep out of them. They felt each other breathe, watching the snow melt as it dropped into the water, steam rising around them making their hair damp. Uenoyama placed his hand over Mafuyu’s heart, the steady beat beneath his palm grounding him.
When they started pruning up, they supposed it was time to go back inside. They dried off briefly, wrapping towels around themselves and stepped back into the room. Mafuyu stumbled a little, the blood rushing away from his head. Uenoyama caught him under the arms and helped him to the bed. He looked at him with concern. He’d noticed it before, when Mafuyu had stood naked in front of him – the ribs a little more prominent than usual, the hip bones sticking out. Mafuyu had always been slim, but there was undeniably less of him than usual.
“Mafuyu, you really need to eat more.”
“I know… I lose my appetite when I’m stressed though. And it’s been so busy.” Mafuyu’s head had stopped swimming once he was horizontal again.
“I’m going to feed you up again” Uenoyama said firmly. He tossed Mafuyu some pyjamas and pulled his own on, before flopping onto the bed next to him. Mafuyu turned into him, resting his head on his shoulder.
“You’re always taking care of me.”
“Not really… I let you get so thin, and I’ve only just noticed. I’m sorry.” Uenoyama kissed Mafuyu’s head, stroking his back.
They fell asleep like that, tangled up in each other’s arms.
***
Mafuyu woke the next morning to find Uenoyama setting down a heavily laden breakfast tray.
“Wow, did you order everything on the menu?” he laughed.
“Yes, I did. And you’re going to eat it” Uenoyama chastised, popping a strawberry into Mafuyu’s mouth.
They had a leisurely breakfast, and Mafuyu put in his best effort at eating his share, under his boyfriend’s watchful eye.
“I’m not much of a cook, but when we live together, I’ll make you meals” Uenoyama said, slinging his arm around Mafuyu’s waist. They’d been on the hunt for an apartment for a little while now, but the Tokyo market was difficult to break into. They had considered a rental, but decided they’d rather save up faster and get a place to really call their own. After all, they wanted to be able to soundproof it, so they could play together.
“I’d like that.”
“What do you want to do today?”
“Monkeys!”
Uenoyama laughed at Mafuyu’s enthusiasm. “Thought so”.
***
Uenoyama hung back a little as Mafuyu dashed around the snow monkey viewing platform. He was delighted by the little creatures, whereas Uenoyama found them intimidating. Their teeth looked rather sharp. But he enjoyed watching Mafuyu. His heart pounded a little as Mafuyu turned to him and gave him a dazzling smile, pointing out a baby monkey playing in a corner. God was he stupidly in love with him.
As they were heading out again, a group of fans cornered them. Uenoyama was amazed they’d recognised them, both their faces half-hidden by scarves and hats. They’d signed some hasty autographs before excusing themselves. Mafuyu smirked at Uenoyama when they had climbed back into their rental car. “I wonder if any of them wrote that comment.”
Uenoyama groaned. “Don’t.” Mafuyu laughed. It was too easy.
When they reached their inn again, Mafuyu had tried to pull Uenoyama into a kiss, but he shook him off, insisting he had to shower. Mafuyu had let him go, a little confused, and lay on the bed sulking a little. He didn’t usually have so much trouble getting what he wanted from the man. When Uenoyama finally emerged, he found Mafuyu still on the bed, pouting.
“What’s that face for?” he said, tying the hotel robe he we was wearing a little tighter around himself.
“Don’t you want me?”
“What are you talking about?”
“We never did anything last night, and you didn’t want to kiss me just now.”
Uenoyama tsk’d at him. “Mafuyu, you almost passed out last night. I can hardly do you when you’re semi-conscious, I’m not into that.”
“Fine. What about the kiss?”
Uenoyama glowered at Mafuyu, then crawled on top of him. He stroked his face, and ran his thumb along his lower lip. Mafuyu turned away slightly, pouting some more. “Be that way, then” Uenoyama said gruffly, and kissed his neck instead. Mafuyu fought the sensation but gasped when Uenoyama sucked a little bruise into him – he was usually so careful to never leave marks. Mafuyu turned back into him, grabbing his hair, pulling him into an open-mouthed kiss.
He pushed at Uenoyama’s shoulders, and they rolled, flipping positions. Mafuyu kissed him harder, then slid down his body, parting the robe. He mouthed at Uenoyama’s erection, while Uenoyama propped himself on his elbows to watch. When he didn’t protest, Mafuyu took him into his mouth, not breaking their eye contact. Uenoyama groaned, fingers gripping tightly onto the bedsheets.
Mafuyu was just getting into the rhythm of things when he felt a hand on his shoulder, pushing him back. He popped off and pouted again. What was with Uenoyama today? He looked at him, and thought his blue eyes looked a little shifty. He clearly wanted to say something but couldn’t seem to find the words.
Eventually, he spoke. “Hey, Mafuyu… have you ever thought about doing it the other way?”
“Huh?”
Uenoyama flopped back, speaking to the ceiling now. His cheeks were deepest red. “You know, you… inside of me”. Mafuyu crawled back up, so he was hovering over Uenoyama’s face. He examined him closely.
“Is that why you’ve been acting so weird? You were embarrassed to ask me?” he said, amused. Then a realisation hit him. “Wait… did you take that shower to prep?”
Uenoyama looked away, biting his lip. “Yeah.”
Mafuyu laughed – to think he was still so coy after all this time.
“Don’t laugh at me dammit. We don’t have to do it if you think it’s weird.”
“Not weird. I actually think it’s pretty hot that you did that for me. But you know, if you ever want to try things, you can just tell me.” Mafuyu emphasised this with a kiss, then smattered more all over his face, until Uenoyama started laughing too.
“Okay, okay, okay I get it” he said, grabbing Mafuyu and kissing him properly again. He pulled Mafuyu’s clothes off while Mafuyu undid his robe, allowing him to shimmy out of it. Mafuyu rolled off him briefly to fetch the lube, applying some to his fingers before looking down again.
“You’re gonna have to tell me what you’re feeling while we do this okay” he said, seriously. “It can be pretty… intense, the first time. And, I’ve never done this to someone else before.”
Uenoyama looked at him in slight surprise. At least I’ll get one of his firsts he thought, a little selfishly. He told himself off internally for still being jealous of a dead boy, after all these years.
“Ritsuka?”
“I’ll tell you. I want to try.”
Mafuyu watched Uenoyama’s face closely as he pushed his index finger inside him. Uenoyama tensed, then forced himself to relax. It wasn’t so bad, really. Part of him had wanted to try it this way out of sheer curiosity. Another part felt that he really shouldn’t be doing anything to Mafuyu that he wouldn’t let him do back. When Mafuyu felt the tension release, he added a second finger. Uenoyama hissed quietly.
“Too much?”
“No, just… go slow.”
Mafuyu kissed the knee that had drawn up next to him and slowly pushed on. He curled his fingers.
“HAH!” Uenoyama bucked at the unexpected sensation.
Mafuyu panicked and pulled out. “Sorry!”
“Don’t stop… it was good. I understand why you squirm so much now” Uenoyama said, opening one eye to look at Mafuyu, who stuck his tongue out at him. Mafuyu put his fingers back, continuing on patiently, enjoying watching Uenoyama trying not to writhe beneath him. He groaned when he added a third, though he had stopped clenching his teeth.
“I think you should be okay now” said Mafuyu, withdrawing. He fumbled putting on the condom with one hand all slick – he wasn’t used to putting them on himself. Once he was sorted out, he turned back to Uenoyama, pushing his knees up and apart. Uenoyama blushed, looking away.
“Ritsuka, I’m not going to be able to do this if you won’t look at me.”
Reluctantly, he looked back at Mafuyu. Mafuyu raised his eyebrows a little. Uenoyama nodded, giving permission, so Mafuyu started to ease himself in. They both huffed, the sensation new to them. Once Mafuyu was fully inside, he let himself flop onto Uenoyama, kissing at him while he panted. Mafuyu rolled his hips and felt fingers digging into his back. He rolled again.
“Hnnnnggg”
“Bad?”
“Just weird. Keep going” Uenoyama huffed out. Mafuyu repositioned a little and rolled his hips a little harder. Uenoyama swore. “I’d say you found the spot there” he said when Mafuyu gave him a concerned look. At that, Mafuyu kept going, building up some speed. He bit his lip, trying to contain himself. He really didn’t think he was going to last long – everything was so new and tight and warm. Uenoyama let him go to reach down and stroke his own cock, swearing again. He pumped himself furiously and erratically, then arched his back with a loud moan. Mafuyu watched him screw up his face then snapped his own eyes shut as he followed, collapsing down onto his boyfriend as they came.
“Shit. Ah, Mafuyu, its kinda hard to breathe like this” Uenoyama said, coaxing him off him. Mafuyu pulled out and rolled onto his side instead. They lay together, Mafuyu gripping Uenoyama’s arm.
“Did you like it?” Mafuyu asked, a little shyly.
“Yeah.”
“Do you… prefer it?”
“Is it wrong if I say no?”
“Nah, me too. But, we can try this again some time too.”
Uenoyama hummed in agreement, pulling Mafuyu close, kissing his head.
“We should get in the onsen. You’ll be less sore tomorrow that way” said Mafuyu, once he’d fully caught his breath.
“Give me a second, I don’t think I can walk just yet.”
Mafuyu laughed at him. “So soft. You do me way harder than that.”
“Shut up, only because you ask me to.”
Mafuyu pulled him up by the arms and dragged him towards the bath. “Yeah, I do. And you better pep up quickly because I want that tonight” he said, grinning.
“Bloody hell, you’re impossible” Uenoyama grumbled back, sinking into the tub. Mafuyu dropped his head onto his shoulder next to him.
“So you’ll do it?”
“You know I can’t say no to you.”
Mafuyu kissed him. “Good boy.” Uenoyama groaned and splashed at him, both of them dissolving into giggles.