Chapter Text
Piper
Mira thought it would be difficult to find out Piper Ratliff’s contacts. But it turned out to be rather easy, Piper was doing this lifestyle-medication gig, tie-up with Nest lifestyle and posted weekly vlogs, and blogs. They weren’t super popular but did come up on searching. She set up a phone interview. She had an escape plan lined up in case she couldn’t muster enough courage to say it, she can babble, she would babble some lifestyle. But it turned out that she was brave enough.
“Hello”
“Hi, this is Mira Liu Chen. We had an appointment.”
“Heyyy… so nice to connect, umm.. So body scan meditation and app.. That’s what we will be talking about”
“I am so sorry, Ma’am.. I mean, I am so sorry.. Uh .. Piper.. so yes, I am Mira, I am Lochlan Ratliff’s batchmate."
“...well”
“I am sorry.”
“....”
“I really really apologize, I am extremely sorry for doing this, but uh there’s no interview. I called, I actually called because I am a little.. concerned, about Lochlan. You are his sister right?” She cleared her throat.
She got the attention she was looking for.
“Ok, ok yes yes, I am Lochlan’s sister, yes thanks. Please tell me, and no need to apologize, ok? Do you want to meet me?”
“No, actually, I can just say here what I am thinking and you can talk to Lochlan maybe.”
“Sure”
“Has he told you about the photoshoots, uh the modeling assignments he has been doing?”
“Oh yes, yes, I know. I texted him too, they were nice, the ones … the lavender field ones and the flame themes”
“Ok. Yeah those were like months ago, have you checked any of the latest?”
Piper hasn’t, she bit her lips. A wave of guilt and sadness passed through her body as she turned up the speaker volume to maximum. They were never paying attention to Lochy, were they? Mum had time for Sax, mum had time for her too, but she remembers Lochy going from room to room to spend some time with any one of them and she hardly ever obliged. She always tried to be polite. Lochy? I will finish up in an hour, ok? After two hours she remembered Lochy was pleading but by that time he was asleep in Sax’s room. Lochy was never in his own room, he said he felt lonely. Piper wanted to blame mom. She wanted to blame someone. She wants to blame Sax for being an ass all the time, talking bullshit, girls, condoms, gym, pussy and grossing her to death so that she would stay away from both of them. After Sax went off to Duke, Lochy was mostly on his own, and she thought it was good, at least Lochy won’t have to deal with all the weird shit Sax coughed up 24X7. But then, after Thailand, even Sax wasn’t around Lochy.
“Are you still there?”
“Yes… I haven’t checked.” Piper’s voice was weak.
“He is working with K, I can also text you the name of the agent. You can check the images, I can share the page.”
“There’s something wrong with the images?”, Piper was thinking, is he doing nudes? Cheap ads? She tries hard not to consider the possibility of Lochy doing porn.
“The pictures are.. kind of.. it’s like art, has concepts but… that’s not the point. Look, this guy and his agency, they have a reputation, not a good one, how to put it, they … uh he, you know, he is hurting Lochlan, I think. They have done that to other people too, he is a serial-uh.. ” Mira doesn’t know why she added “I think” when she knows exactly what is up.
“What?, omg omg.. Omg why? Is he safe now? Did you report?”
“Uh I am so sorry, actually that’s why I called. I think I am crossing a line here by reaching out to you. Because Lochlan, I don’t know how to put it, I think he is just letting it happen, and not because he is .. you know.. Not because he is enjoying it or something.
“I.. I don’t know what you are talking about”, Piper gathers herself up somehow, don’t shoot the messenger, she thinks. “Uh, listen, Myra-Mira.. Thanks for reaching out I don’t know how to thank you, I will be with him.”
Piper wonders while she frantically gathers her stuff, she glances quickly at the car, she is trying to think hard, now isn’t the time to go back in the past and analyze what led to this but this is a fucking crisis. She will go to Sax, and they can pick up Lochy together, but before that, she needs to tell him, she needs to tell someone. Mom is dozing on sedatives half the time ever since Dad was arrested. Dad is… well, he isn’t in the picture. It is painful to acknowledge that their dad is, in jail.
Is Sax not sending him money?
Piper wondered if anything had happened between Sax and Lochy in Thailand. Did they fight? What could it be… or it’s just the whole dad thing and their money issues pushed Sax so hard that he had no time for Loch, but even Lochy had pulled away so much that Piper doesn’t understand. She has a working theory of what could have happened. They had fought over a girl, maybe. Very unrealistic of Loch to fight over a girl, but you never know, she got pretty weird vibes from that lanky girl, what’s her name, back in the resort in Thailand, and then his shady old boyfriend. She knows how much their mom judged these kinds of girls. Or maybe Saxon had finally said something so odd that it had pissed off Lochlan. Or maybe she’s just overthinking.
Why is Lochy doing this… Can Sax tell…
When Piper reached Saxon’s place, she was hyperventilating. Her eyes were damp and red, clearly from crying.
They hugged after ages. Where did we go so wrong, Sax? Saxon had no answers he didn’t know what to say. He has never fucking learned how to even act when someone cried, what to do with those big emotions. Not meeting her eyes seemed like a great option. Piper thrust the phone at him, Look at these she said. They both knew Lochy was doing some photoshoots, or modelling or whatever. They both knew that some of those images weren’t quite right, and that word had even reached mum and uncle Babe and aunt Audrey. The old-money side of the family whispered over crystal glasses and stiff linen dinners—Victoria the loudest in her silence, her lips pinched white. She would’ve rather begged from her brother than see her youngest in sheer fabric and implied poses, artfully wrecked for a certain audience.
Saxon hated how many eyes were on Lochy.
How many men had left comments in the page. Gay men, Saxon thought and grimaced.
“Nice ass.”
“Juicy twink.”
“Whoa look at K’s new boy toy!’
But he never knew this; he didn’t know that this fucking guy was hurting his brother and worse, his brother was letting him do that. Part of him suspected Lochy was acting out. Another part was clueless. They are blackmailing him? Something else? An older man manipulating a teen into doing things that he wouldn’t have otherwise done… Saxon rubbed his forehead in disgust… does that sound like..
Shit.
Lochlan
Lochlan had come back home early. He threw his backpack in a corner, headed to the bathroom, and cleaned himself up in silence.
When his phone rang at 5:30 sharp, he was still in the shower. He let it ring; the phone pinged again. He ignored it. He took his time in the shower and finally emerged after several minutes. He threw himself on the bed, with damp skin drying out in the cool air and damp curls falling over his temples, while picking up the phone in one careless motion.
The next moment, he jolted up.
3 missed calls.
5 new messages.
All three calls are from Saxon.
Four texts from Saxon, one from Piper.
Saxon
Pack your stuff up by 6
Will pick you up at 6
Pick up the f*** phone dude
Piper
Sax and I will be picking you up, ok?
The phone buzzes again, and this time he picks up..
“What the fuck is up with you, Lochy?”
A call from him, his voice over the phone that went beyond “hmm.. ok… all right” or “mom asked me to… piper said that….”, maybe after 2 years?
Saxon was so loud even through the phone, he thought this would wake up his roommate, he tiptoed to the bathroom and leaned back on the cold shower wall.
“What the fuck.. what the fuck.. You fucking don’t tell me whatever the fuck is up with you anymore… You need fucking money? Am I not sending you enough… “
Lochy pressed the phone to his ear so hard, he didn’t know what he is expecting by doing that, is he expecting the ghost of Saxon’s breath on his ears if he pressed the phone closer and held it tighter? He is sobbing quietly, tears in his eyes. Was he expecting him to react? Was he expecting him to fly off the handle and just.. just… do.. something to him, like get angry, yell, punch?
“Answer me, Lochy…” Saxon is barking.
He wants to ask him many questions. Did Sax feel as soiled that night as he feels at the studio night after night? Did Sax think that his touch was as filthy back at the boat as he felt when the rabid fingers and mouth worked on him behind the focus lights? If yes, maybe the catharsis is over. Can he go home? Where’s home?
“Sax.. I…”
What could he tell? There was the studio where this guy offered Lochy a place to fall apart—and Lochy let him, because he didn’t know what else to do with the ache that kept growing for someone who wouldn’t even look at him straight anymore. Someone who had felt soiled by his touch. Technically, it’s much more horrific, like those student campus safety orientation videos explained what all actions that are considered sexual abuse. Those verbatims flashing in his mind.
Lochy’s voice cracked; he didn’t want it to but it did anyway. Saxon seemed to soften as soon as he heard his voice.
“Hey dude, you ok?”, even softer, Lochlan would melt on the floor, he couldn’t keep himself straight, he could see he is slouching and slipping down the wall, his legs felt like jelly, giving away.
“I’m fine Sax, I .. ummm.. I am packing, I saw your text. What happened?”
“What happened?” Saxon is back to barking. “You are asking ME what happened? Your girlfriend called your sister, about those fucking photoshoots you are doing with that fag and .. what.. he..he.. is”
There’s a moment of silence. Lochy breathed through it. He had no girlfriend, maybe Mira called Piper. That’s a very easy guess.
“Why did you not tell us, Lochy?” his brother’s voice is soft again.
He could hear another voice now, Piper, She is asking something, Saxon is telling her he is fine he is packing up.
Saxon was loud, as usual, and started banging the door before Lochy could open it. Mira was already in the hallway, and Zeke was peering from a half-closed door. Saxon threw a glance at Mira and then back at him, “Girlfriend?”… “What? No!!!” Mira protested before he could. She was grossed out, Lochy can tell from her face,
“It’s fine, it’s fine, I am fine either way, I’m not into policing.”
“Hey, Loch”, Piper was outside the door.
Lochlan felt strangely calm during their drive back to Saxon’s condo. Piper kept asking him mundane questions as if to keep him talking, as if she would have been worried if he sat quietly. Lochy, Mom wants you home for the holidays. Lochy, do you want some of this? Hands extended, offering him the sandwich she’s having. Lochy, did Mom tell you about Uncle Babe’s divorce? He enjoyed the truce his brother and sister were having at this moment. Despite all the horrible things the family had to go through, it somehow brought some of them closer together; something good came out of it. Piper told them how tired she felt, that she needed to crash as soon as they parked, picked up her bag, grabbed the keys from Saxon and headed upstairs.
“Get your stuff out ok? And keep them in the hallway as of now. I didn’t know you would be coming home today or I would have done something about the arrangements.”
Home. Even with everything that’s going on it sounded sweet.
Saxon
Lochlan bends down to retrieve his stuff from the car, his jeans sliding down. Saxon lost his train of thought; he couldn’t look away. Then, he saw it. Red marks on his skin, one could imagine how those happened. Saxon didn’t keep count of how long he had been staring, what had that man done to Lochy, he can’t imagine anyone…he couldn't imagine anyone touching his brother like that, he couldn't imagine why and how Lochy would let anyone touch him like that. There were tan lines along the strap of his boxers as it kept sliding down. If Saxon could reach out, maybe? run his hands along the lower back; it could be soothing.
What the hell is wrong with him (again)? What is he doing?
“My backpack is stuck… I think the strap got stuck somewhere… I can keep this one in the car, I think, for the night.” Lochy straightened slightly and looked over his shoulder.
“Yeah, yes.. “
Saxon had been staring. Did he catch him staring?
Lochy was off balance for a moment, but then he gripped the car door and steadied himself, adjusted his shirt, tucking it in, pulling up his jeans. If he had looked in Saxon’s direction, he would have seen Saxon standing awkwardly in the parking lot, his eyes shifting from him to the floor. When had they become so distant?