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“How about this? We can do this now and later we can do something strange that I'm interested in so that way it’s even.”
“Ah haha right I did say that didn’t I? Let’s save that conversation for later. We should take some time to recover right?”
Nine days have passed since Riddle spoke those words. Originally, his suggestion to exchange each other's unconventional sexual fixations was spoken completely thoughtlessly. He’d gotten too caught up in the moment and spoke whatever he thought would get Trey to feel more comfortable opening up. He should have known with how persistent his boyfriend could get he would end up paying for those words.
Riddle had been coasting on the excuse that he was just “too busy with dorm and school obligations” to get intimate, which wasn't exactly a lie. He had been run rather ragged recently, but frankly, that extra stress on both him and his vice-dorm head was making them want to engage in some more unconventional forms of stress-relief, so his excuses to not be intimate were not exactly holding up any more.
When Trey showed up to his room at night under the guise of “debriefing the day's dorm happenings” with almost all of his dorm uniform’s accessories nowhere to be found, Riddle knew his time to stall was up. He felt content though, with all the time he took to stall he came up with a plan. Lie.
All he had to do was tell Trey some much more simple, much less embarrassing, sexual fixation. They could try that once, see if they even like it, then move on with their lives. It was a simple, foolproof plan. He felt a little bad about lying to Trey, especially after he had been so open with him about his interests, but he told himself it was less of a lie and more of an omission. If he gave something smaller that he was still kind of into, surely that wouldn't be considered deceitful.
Trey sat on the edge of Riddle’s bed. “Have you thought about what you wanted to try yet?”
“Oh my, we’re not even pretending to be productive dorm leaders anymore. Jumping straight to sex, how uncouth?” Riddle teased, cleaning up the books on his desk from his recent study session.
Trey chucked. “I could start with how Ace skipped flemingo duty today, but I feel like that might ruin the mood.”
“He did WHAT?!” The redhead quickly snapped his head to gawk at Trey, hands stilling over the books he was clearing.
“He didn’t; I'm messing with you. See how that would be detrimental to the mood though.”
Riddle scoffed. “I suppose. Don’t look so pleased with yourself.”
Trey’s smirk remained plastered on his face, getting up to put his hands on Riddle’s shoulders and lead him from here he was very obviously stalling by messing with his books to sit next to him on the bed.
“You know you don’t have to be nervous about this. I mean, after last time, I quite literally don’t have any room to judge. You could tell me anything and I would never think any less of you.”
Riddle tried to avoid Trey’s loving gaze, instead looking at his lap where he was fiddling with his fingers. “I don’t know. You say that but …”
“I say that because I mean it.” He grabbed one of Riddle's hands from his lap, holding it tightly. “I’m serious Riddle. You don’t have anything to worry about.” He rubbed small circles over the other's palm with his thumb.
Riddle sighed softly. “Alright.” He mumbled. “Uh … I guess uh-” He started fidgeting with the nails on his free hand, still looking anywhere but his partner. “Uh, I have a thing for being … praised and doted over during sex I guess.”
Trey paused for a second and gave him a strange look. “Try again.”
“What?” Riddle finally fully looked at him.
“I’m already well aware of that and you know it. I always praise you plenty when we have sex, so I know that’s not what you intended when you suggested this. Try again.”
Riddle groaned and looked down again, shoulders hunching over a bit. “Uh, I guess I like being … tied up or something then.” The statement unintentionally comes out more like a question.
After a few seconds of no response, Riddle looks back up at his partner. Trey is wearing a disappointed expression that sends a painful shot to Riddle’s chest. “Trey?” He says meekly.
Trey removes the hand that had been interlocked with Riddle’s. “Look, you know I never want to make you do something you’re uncomfortable with, and I can tell this is making you uncomfortable, so won't keep pushing you, but I just wish this was something we could at least be honest with each other about. I wish you had enough trust in me to just say this isn't something you’re open to rather than lying to me about-”
“No, I am open to it! I-I mean I want to I just-” He spoke quickly, looking up at Trey with a wide-eyed pained expression.
“Hey it’s okay Riddle, I'm not mad. Just breathe”
Riddle did as he was told, taking a minute to breathe and get his thoughts in order.
“I really do want to.” He spoke softly. “I had a lot of fun the last time and I would like to explore more in our sex life but … I have this voice in the back of my head that screams at me about how I'm absolutely disgusting for the things I'm interested in. I know that you would never think less of me for the things I'm into, but a part of me feels like you should.”
“So it's not as much that you’re worried about what I’ll think and more that you’re worried about the shame you’ll feel?” Trey asked.
Riddle nodded. “My brain never really seems to stop fighting itself when it comes to things like this. I mean, you remember what I was like when we started getting … intimate. That’s the reason why it took us so long for us to get to this point. I just get this horrible feeling I'm doing something wrong and I panic. I wish there was some kind of rulebook for this sort of thing so I’d know exactly what I should and shouldn't say and do, but I know it doesn't work like that. It’s just so unreasonably difficult for me. I need to be better about this. I'm sorry.”
Trey placed his hand over Riddle's shoulder and squeezed lightly. “You don’t have to apologize, I get where you’re coming from. With the way you grew up, that’s kind of to be expected. You probably didn't get too many chances to express your own desires and opinions freely so of course it comes harder for you. I’m sorry for pushing so much. We really should have taken it slower.”
“No, it’s not your fault at all. I was serious, I really do want to do this. It felt so good having you open up to me about your interests. I want to be able to do the same for you. I want us to have an equal trade-off in our vulnerability so … I want to try and tell you, no lies or beating around the bush.”
Trey's hand had moved lower to rub Riddle’s back, giving a sympathetic smile. “Alright, if you’re comfortable.”
Riddle straightened his back and took a short moment to compose himself. “In junior high school my mother insisted I keep up with multiple magazines that discussed recent advancements in medicine and medical magic, so I could be ahead of the curve when I got into medical school. I had to do these bi-weekly readings and write a small report on them. It was rather informative, but never really anything special to me until one day I saw an article that really caught my eye.”
He glanced quickly at Trey, who remained patiently listening and continued. “It was a recently discovered spell that was supposed to assist new mothers who were having difficulty nursing.”
Riddle started to flush a little, feeling embarrassed about what he was going to say. “It was a spell that could supposedly induce lactation onto a male so fathers could assist in nursing a child. It was supposed to be helpful for overworked mothers who were struggling with late night feedings and mothers whose bodies couldn't keep up with milk supply. A medical device that would be used strictly to assist the welfare of families, nothing more, but … I don't know why I had such a strange reaction to it.”
Riddle wanted to glance at Trey again, but his mind wouldn't let him. He was too nervous now, but his mouth kept running despite his brain telling him he should probably stop. “ The image of it in my head … of a … man leaking from his chest like that made me …” He let out a heavy breath he'd been holding.
“Embarrassingly, I got really fixated on it. I uh-” he coughed. “Ugh this is embarrassing. I uh did more research and tried to practice the spell on myself. It didn't work the first few times I tried, but after a while I did finally figure it out. I never did anything with it after that, I was much too humiliated, but since then I think about it a lot when I … pleasure myself. The thought of a man feeding from another man's chest has ended up being the fastest way to get me off. I know it sounds quite strange, sorry.” He trailed off quietly.
Riddle had become completely flushed red and was completely hunched over himself by this point. Trey still kept his hand firmly on his back. “It's not embarrassing, you shouldn't apologize. Could I ask some questions though?”
Riddle nodded, still not looking at him. “Is it just the thought of lactation in general or only with men?” Trey asked.
Riddle sat up a tiny bit straighter. “It's only with men. I've tried to look up … uh p-pornographic content with women doing it, and it didn't do anything for me. I think something about it being biologically improbable makes it more exciting for me.”
“Interesting. When you … fantasize about this, do you imagine yourself as the one lactating or the one being breastfeed?”
Riddle wiggles a little uncomfortably at the question but still answers. “I've imagined it both ways before, but I think I like it more when you're the one lactating.”
“So you've imagined it with me before?” He says, a little surprised.
It seems to catch up with Riddle exactly what he said. “AH SORRY! I didn't mean- that's so horrible I'm sorry.”
Trey lifts his hand up to squeeze Riddle's shoulder again. “Hey it's alright! I like that you've been thinking of me like that. I'm not upset at all.”
Riddle finally looked up at him, tiny tears pricking at his tear ducts. “Really? It's so obscene though.”
“I don't think so. I don't totally get the appeal of it, but if it was something you're really interested in I wouldn't mind trying it.” He smiled kindly.
Riddle sat up fully, facing his partner. “Seriously!? You really don't have to say that just because it's something I like.”
Trey brought his hand to tuck some of Riddle's hair behind his ear, looking into his big gray uncertain eyes, equally filled with hope and fear. “I really wanna do it because it's something you like. I wanna make you feel good. Pleasing you gives me my own kind of pleasure.”
“Are you sure?” He says meekly.
“Very” He kissed the top of Riddle's head.
“Would you like to try it tonight? It's perfectly fine if it's not an ideal time.” He says still very quietly.
“Yeah, I'd be down or wait how long does the spell last? I kind of don't wanna be like leaking onto my uniform in the middle of class tomorrow.”
Riddle gave a small chuckle. “You should be fine. It's usually meant to last for one feeding cycle, so maybe an hour at the very most. You should have no issues tomorrow.”
“Alright uh is there anything I should do to uh prepare?”
Riddle considered the question for a second. “Take off your jacket and shirt and lay on my bed with your back propped up by my pillows. I'll be right back.”
Trey did as he was instructed while Riddle grabbed a clean towel from his bathroom and his magic pen from his desk, setting them both on his bedside table and sitting himself on top of Trey’s legs in a straddle.
Riddle lightly dragged his hand down Trey’s chest and torso; he couldn't tell if he was doing it to try and comfort him or just because he wanted to admire how his boyfriend looked shirtless. “Are you ready? I'm going to try and start the spell.”
Trey nodded. “Okay, I haven't tried this spell in ages, sorry if I'm a little out of practice.” Riddle says as he picks up his magic pen from the table. “This shouldn't hurt at all, so please let me know if you have any issues.”
The magic pen is lifted to Trey's chest. Riddle closes his eyes to try and focus, fully dedicating himself to the task. Trey looks down at him, watching him concentrate. He instinctively wanted to give the other some kind of encouraging touch but didn't want to risk distracting him.
The first attempt at the spell wasn't successful, which wasn't very surprising considering it had been years since Riddle last successfully cast it. He reset himself to try again, only to fail once more. Only on the third attempt did Riddle finally seem to be confident about his work, although Trey really couldn't notice anything different.
“Are you feeling alright? Noticing any discomfort?” Riddle asks, looking him over.
“No, I actually can't feel anything different. Is it supposed to be like that?”
“Yes, if I did it right it should take a second before anything changes.” He begins lightly pressing over certain areas of the other’s chest in a manner a doctor would when examining a patient.
Trey couldn't help but notice Riddles seemed to be falling back to his bedside manner training when doing this. He wondered if it was intentional or instinctual on Riddle's part.
“Are you feeling anything now?” Riddle asks, taking his hands off the other’s chest.
He was so focused on Riddle he hardly noticed when a little bit of discomfort had started to set in. “Yeah, it's a tiny bit uncomfortable. It's nothing bad, but it definitely feels strange. My chest aches a bit.”
“That would make sense. I can already see your chest swelling a bit.” Trey looks down at himself to see that it is, in fact, slightly swollen. He supposes he should have expected it. It's not like the milk would come from nowhere. “That's a good sign. It just means the spell worked. Let me know if it gets too uncomfortable.” Riddle encourages.
After a few more moments, the swelling feeling starts to become a lot more apparent, not enough to hurt necessarily, but enough to have him squirming a bit, badly wanting some of the pressure on his chest to be alleviated. Looking himself over, he can see how large and swollen his chest looks. It hasn't grown much, but the change was somewhat noticeable.
“Can I … uh.” Riddle tried to ask, face flushed, losing all of his confidence quickly.
“Of course, do what you need to do.”
Riddle hesitantly brings his finger up to Trey's right nipple, rolling the ball of it over the pad of his finger. Trey usually doesn't feel like his nipples are very sensitive during sex, but the swelling has made him extra sensitive, causing him to let out a small sound.
That seems to make Riddle a bit more confident as he removes his hand and leans down to lick over the nipple he had just been toying with. Trey makes another small sound, prompting him to latch onto the bud and lightly suck.
The first few sucks were completely dry, but after a moment Riddle makes a small surprised nose and shoots back upright, looking at Trey with tiny drops of sheerish-white milk on his lips and chin.
“It actually worked.” He seems a little amazed with himself.
“Ah Riddle, please keep going.” Trey pleads, the pressure on his chest starting to feel like too much.
He swears he can almost see the other’s pupils dilate before he feverishly nods and latches himself back on his nipple.
Trey lets out a small content sigh. The feeling of Riddle repeatedly suckling at his chest and stopping to flick his tongue over where he felt the most sensitive was heavenly. He could tell by the way Riddle was sitting on his lap that he wasn't the only one enjoying this. Even through his pants he could feel his fully erect dick pressing into his thigh.
He laced his fingers into Riddle's hair, both as a method of reassurance and to ensure his face remained pressed up against his chest. Riddle sucked down the milk fast, making sure nothing went to waste.
Trey groaned as Riddle brought up both his hands to squeeze at his peck, ringing out more milk from him quickly. Riddle gave out a muffled moan in delight. Milk began dripping down his chin as he struggled to keep up.
Wanting to help out with the way Riddle's hips had been desperately twitching, begging for friction, he propped up one of his legs and maneuvered Riddle's hips on it to give him something to gird on. Riddle immediately made use of it, rocking his hips back and forth on the other’s thigh.
The smaller boy let out such sweet little sounds, giving moans and whines anytime his throat wasn't too full of milk to make noise. He lifted himself off Trey’s right tit. “You taste so good.” He panted. “Your milk is so sweet.” Yeah, his pupils were definitely blown out by this point.
Trey smiled, using the hand that was laced in his hair to gently pet the other. “You're doing so good for me. You look so beautiful drinking from me.”
Riddle whined at that, his clothed dick twitching. “I’ll be good for you, I promise.”
He felt almost shocked for a second. Riddle didn't often verbally reply when he would praise him during sex. He had certainly never heard him reply with something like that. Any reservations he had about it quickly dispersed though when Riddle latched onto his previously untouched, incredibly full, left nipple, sucking desperately.
Trey couldn't stop the loud moan that passed through his lips. He gripped Riddle's hair maybe a little too tight in an attempt to ground himself. He almost apologized for it before Riddle let out an equally loud whine in response to the action.
Riddle sucked so vigorously, barely even giving himself enough time to breathe. He drank from his partner like he was starving. Opening his eyes, he looked up to make eye contact with Trey as he sucked.
The state Riddle was in came as another surprise to Trey. His eyes were open wide, pupils enlarged, face red, bangs messed up and damp with sweat and stray milk that had smeared across his cheeks. The strangest thing of all was the look on his face. He somehow looked completely focused and like he was somewhere else mentally. It was nothing he'd ever seen from the other boy before.
Trey didn't know if he should be worried or turned on by the sight, but his body seemed to answer before his brain, suddenly feeling unbearably hard. He took the hand that wasn't preoccupied in his boyfriend's hair and began palming himself through his pants.
Riddle had continued rocking his hips on his partner's thigh, clearly getting close by the increase in the wines and moans he was letting out. Finally, he allowed himself to un-latch from his lover's breast, licking up the milk that dribbled out at the action.
Trey softly pet Riddle’s hair while he caught his breath. “You’re being such a good boy for me Riddle.”
The other whined, his hips twitching from where they had previously stilled on Trey’s thigh. “Mama” Riddle mumbled very quietly, nuzzling his face into his lover’s leaking chest, still making eye contact with him.
Okay, that was definitely new and a little concerning. Trey knew that this could either be Riddle subconsciously feeling safe enough to deal with some of his issues in a sexual setting or genuinely being triggered and with how Riddle had been acting, he really couldn't tell.
He didn't know what to do, but he knew if he hesitated any longer Riddle would notice and surely take it as judgment or a form of rejection so he had to act now.
He untangled his hair from his lover’s red locks and moved his hand down to rub his neck. “That's it baby, you're perfect.”
He decided to play into it. If Riddle was genuinely uncomfortable, he would be able to tell by his response and they could stop if necessary, but Riddle seemed anything but uncomfortable, whining while resuming his grinding and moving to once again suckle at Trey's tit.
Trey let out a sharp breath, happy to have the feeling of Riddle's mouth on him again. He fumbled to open the button and zipper on his pants with one hand. After struggling for a while, he finally managed to pull his cock out of his underwear and started to stroke himself. He began rhythmically bumping his leg up and down to give his partner more friction.
Trey spoke up after they had fallen into a proper rhythm, dipping his hand under the collar of Riddle's shirt. “You know exactly how to make mama feel good, don't you?” The words felt very foreign and awkward coming out of his mouth, but he wanted to try to get Riddle excited again.
His plan worked. Riddle moved his hips faster and gave a particularly hard suck. He quickly unlatched from the other, still hovering close to his tit. “Mama please, I’m close” he whined before latching back on.
“Shh that's good baby, I wanna see you cum for me.” It didn't take long after his prompting for Riddle to start twitching and whining, letting go of Trey's nipple to shove his face against the center of the other's chest, muffling his moans while he came. Trey followed shortly at the sight, cumming onto his hand.
Trey grabbed the towel Riddle left on the bedside table and cleaned off his hand along with some of the milk that had dripped from his chest down to his torso. He would have offered to help Riddle clean up, but the other was still wearing his pants when he came so that made itself a problem for later.
“Can I finish?” Riddle asked softly after they had caught their breaths.
“Seems like you already did.” Trey chuckled.
Riddle scoffed. “I mean your chest. It's still leaking, isn't it?”
Trey glanced down at himself. His chest was still a little puffy and leaking. “Yeah, alright. It's probably a good idea to get it all out.”
He maneuvered Riddle to sit in his lap, horizontal to his body. Similar to the way you'd see a real mother feeding their child.
It was a change of pace from before. Riddle no longer sucked like he was on a mission, there was no intense passion or lust. Trey just gently held Riddle as he emptied him out.
After around five minutes, Trey’s well had run dry and Riddle let go. Neither of them seemed to want to move though, so Riddle laid his head against Trey’s chest as he cradled him.
The dorm-leader had almost fallen asleep, completely unaware of how long they had been sitting like that, before Trey shook him back to awareness.
“You should probably get cleaned up. If we don't clean those pants soon they might be ruined.”
"Ah you're right.” Riddle sat up. “I feel filthy.” He sighed.
Trey took his hand before Riddle was able to try and stand up. “Hey, that was really good, I'm happy we were able to do that.”
“Even though I accidentally made it weird?” Riddle looked down at the bed.
“You didn't make it weird, why would you say that?” Riddle glanced back at him with a deadpan look.
Trey chuckled out a short breath of air. “I knew you'd notice that I hesitated. Look, I didn't think it was weird. I was just nervous that you might have been genuinely upset about something. Once I knew you were fine, I kinda liked it.”
“Truthfully?”
“Yeah, I mean … I don't know, kinks are weird. Who knows why anyone develops any kind of kink? Frankly, my … feeding thing probably comes a lot from feeling like I can't protect and take care of people that I love properly. That I can't take care of you.”
“I mean I've failed you before and I almost … lost you.” Trey mumbles quietly. “So I like to feel like I can properly take care of you and this is just another way for me to do that.”
He unconsciously scratches at his neck. “What I'm trying to say is, a lot of my own sexual desires and interests come from a place of things I've struggled with in the past. I certainly wouldn't blame you for doing the same. It's not disgusting or strange at all. I think it's good for us.”
Riddle looked a little less worried. “Maybe. I suppose that does make sense.”
Trey tried to run a hand through Riddle's hair to comfort him but paused when he touched some of the dried-up milk that had dirtied Riddle's bangs.
“Okay, let's get you cleaned up for real now.”